Home Is Where The Heart Is
by Tracy2
Summary: Chapter 46 is new. Christmas takes the edge off the killings as everyone enjoys the holidays. STORY COMPLETE
1. A Funny Thing Happened

**Home Is Where the Heart Is**

**__**

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, written, and hopefully read, strictly for enjoyment. The main characters of Mark, Steve, Amanda, and Jesse, as well as Alex, Cheryl, CJ, Dion, Captain Newman and Chief Masters and any others that you recognise are from the series Diagnosis Murder, and as such are the property of CBS/Viacom. All new characters, especially Detective Reagan Yeager, her family, Jo/Texas Walters, Martin Robertson, Officer Campbell and Doctor Wil Collins are mine.

This story carries on from The Long Walk Home, which is on the R page. I finally managed to write a story which is a 13! As always I had the help of my two wonderful beta readers who encouraged me, gave me a little push in the right direction when I wandered and were right there when I needed them. Ladies, as always I thank you from the bottom of my heart, this wouldn't have been as enjoyable without you.

This story is complete. I won't be able to post daily, like I used to due to work commitments, but I will post regularly two or three times a week.

****

**Prologue**

The rain beat down on the forest trail, turning the paved paths a dark grey and the borders, beds and natural walkways a muddy brown. Through the high grass at the back of part of a wilderness trail the sound of flies could be heard. Unhindered by the inclement weather, because of the overhanging trees, they laid their eggs and continued their life cycle.

The unseeing eyes didn't blink as they were touched, and the atrophied hands were unable to brush away the intruders. As the forces of nature hastened her decay the young woman's body just lay waiting for justice to be served. 

****

**Chapter One – A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Murder Scene.**

Matthew ran his finger around the collar of the shirt he was wearing. It was Dominic's, not something he would normally wear, but they had gotten mixed up somehow today, and now he was wearing a suit.

The music in the nightclub was loud, and made his head throb. He hoped that Dominic would show up real soon so that he could go, retreat back to where he felt safest, more in control. Picking up his soda Matt looked round the room, there were so many pretty girls here, dark haired girls, fair haired girls, black girls, white girls, Asian and Hispanic girls, and, as usual, not one of them even knew he was alive.

"Uhh." It was all that Matt could do to stop himself making more noise as he felt a shudder run through him and suddenly Dominic was there, he put the drink down and indicated for the waiter to come over. "Hi, I'd like a dry white wine please, and could you get rid of this?" Dominic pushed the glass of soda away from him, ran his fingers through his short, highlighted fair hair and straightened his tie back up. It was the last time he would let Matthew wear his suit. His Armani suit at that, but somehow he hadn't been able to get away tonight, to get out on time, but now he was here and, he had to admit, this club was jumping.

Once he had paid for his drink Dominic made his way towards the heart of the club, he hadn't been here before, it was called _Reds_, and everything that had anything to do with the business of entertaining its clients was, well, red. The table he sat at was small and circular. There were two red metal chairs one of which he was using, the other was still pushed under so as not to cause an obstruction. The seat Dominic was sitting on was round; the back of the chair heart shaped, with ornate romantic imagery cut into it, and the other seat, where, he hoped, a young lady would join him very soon, was exactly the same. Putting his drink down onto the red, wire mesh table, which had a silver coloured bud vase on it containing a single red rose, Dominic began to scan the area, looking at the young women dancing or standing chatting. A few times girls realised that they were being looked at and, if their eyes met his, they usually smiled or, if they were very brazen, waved. 

After about five minutes he saw her, young, not more than twenty two or three, at a guess, blonde, staggeringly beautiful and dressed to kill. There was nothing trashy about her, the skirt was short black leather, but it didn't have any lace or bits hanging from it and, he was delighted to note, there were no studs. Her legs were long, slim and encased in black tights which seemed to sparkle. Her shoes were red and strappy, high and, to him, impossible to walk in, but she was gyrating in time to the music and seemed to have no problem. She was also wearing a red top, and Dominic wondered whether it was designed to fit with the location where she was spending her evening. There was very little left to the imagination, but nothing was on show. She had full breasts but they were covered with the red slinky material, which, to his mind, made them even more enticing than if they were visible. One of her arms, the left, was completely bare, but the right one was in a long red sleeve which went to her wrist where it was covered with diamante, or something glittery. 

Jenna felt the unmistakable feeling of someone's eyes on her, and looked round. She couldn't believe that she was actually wearing the top and skirt that her cousin had chosen for her, but she had to admit, she'd sure turned some heads tonight. And now a good looking guy in a really classy suit was definitely checking her out.

_'Jenna, you are twenty-one years old, you haven't had a boyfriend since you were nineteen and that law student Jason had his paws all over you. You need to get a life. Wear this, and I promise you, girl, you won't be going home alone tonight.' __Alice__ had held up the skirt and top and Jenna's eyes had nearly popped out of her head._

She had done as she was told and, Jenna had to admit, Alice had been right, she'd never been so noticed. _Uh oh, he was coming over_. Jenna straightened herself up, put a smile on her lips and waited for, tonight at least, her destiny.

The car was also red, everything about the evening seemed to be that colour. Dominic and Jenna had enjoyed each other's company for the two or three hours that they'd been together. They had danced to fast and slow songs, sat and talked and shared a bottle of very nice red wine and Jenna had been so glad she'd taken her cousin's advice.

Dominic had taken Jenna's directions down in a black notebook for later, and now he was driving along Burbank Boulevard towards his apartment block. They weren't in any hurry, even though it was after one in the morning, and both of them had jobs that they would need to be at by nine.  Jenna leant back against the blanket over the seat, then she moved her hand, placed it tentatively on Dominic's thigh, and he turned slightly and smiled at her.

The apartment had been a strange mix of the classy and the, well, just plain weird, but Jenna had found herself responding to Dominic as he had given her some more wine, and then begun to kiss her. She had felt his hand as it traced delicate patterns down her left arm, and she shivered under his touch. His other hand began to run through her hair, which she had left long, and it skimmed her shoulders as his fingers made her tresses move. 

She had known that they would end up in the bedroom, and she had been right, gently and carefully Dominic had removed her clothes and folded them neatly on the chair next to the bed. Jenna had laid back and watched as the handsome man in front of her removed his suit, shirt and tie, and once again he folded the clothes neatly. 

Jenna had thought that they would just have sex, but Dominic made love to her, slowly and as tenderly as she had ever experienced, and when it was over she lay with her head on his shoulder sighed and then spoke, "That was wonderful, but I need to go home before I go to work," as she did so the man beside her seemed to transform.

She wanted to scream, to cry out, try to get someone to come and save her but nothing seemed to work any more. She didn't understand what had happened to Dominic, but he seemed to have changed, almost totally. Where there had been a suave, handsome and totally charming gentleman there was now an awkward, bossy, demanding oaf who wouldn't let her speak, and held a knife to her throat.

"Get in the car!" The voice was low and urgent, nothing like the kind soft voice he had used before.

"Dominic, what have I done?"

"Don't call me that!" the voice snapped back. "It's not my name." 

Jenna disappeared into silence. She didn't understand and was more terrified than she had ever been in her life. She sat in the car, and pulled the blanket that was over the back of the seat around her naked form.

The engine roared into life, and drew into the almost non-existent traffic. They drove back the way they had travelled before until a vacant parking lot, which he had spotted before, came into view. He screeched onto the grass covered area, slammed on his brakes and then turned to his companion. "So, do you want me now?" Jenna shook her head, not having the ability to speak, or even whimper. "Get out of the car!" She sat there, however hard she tried Jenna couldn't get her legs to move, stop her heart from beating so loudly that she was sure that Dominic must be able to hear it, and then suddenly her voice came back to her and she spoke in a rush.

"What did I do? Wasn't it good enough for you? I can do it again, right here, if you want me to, but please, please, don't hurt me." The tears came now, and ran unheeded down her cheeks. "Please, Dominic, I'll stay with you, I won't go to work today, let me know what you want me to do."

He had walked round the car by now and pulled open her door; he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her out of the car. "Shut up!" As she was sent running across the grassy wasteland she felt a burning in her back, she screamed and her knees gave way beneath her. 

"Please, Dominic, please, listen to me, I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her voice was mixed in with deep, desperate sobs, as she spoke and then she screamed out in anguish as she felt a burning pain slice through the sole of one of her feet, the all encompassing agony of it, meaning that she had no idea which one it was.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jo, don't you do that to me!" Steve grasped at empty air as his wife laughed and darted away from him. Then she stopped, put the most serious expression she could find on her face, and began to speak.

"Why, Sir, I have no idea what you mean." The last word was distorted by a giggle, and she moved away again, all the time doing what it was that drove her husband mad.

The happy couple were in the garden of their Beverly Hills home, and for once the place was deserted apart from them, but even if everybody had been home they would still have been playing about, laughing and joking, because the atmosphere of the house was as relaxed and comfortable as it had ever been. 

Jo let her thoughts wander for a moment and Steve took his chance, he grabbed her around the waist, picked her up and spun her round.

"Ooooh, no, Steve, put me down!" Jo felt her feet leave the ground, and even though her husband's strong arms were around her, she didn't like it. The urgency in her voice got through and Steve gently placed her back in front of him, then he turned her round and began to kiss her hungrily.

When they both broke for air Steve looked into her beautiful dark eyes, and reached up to stroke her hair. "Oh, God, Honey, I am gonna miss you so much."

"Shhh, we have another three or four days before I have to go, an' I'll send the plane back so you can come down any time you want."

Steve plonked himself on the grass, pulling Jo down with him. "I wish you would take Michael with you … what? I thought you would like to have his company."

"Well, I would, but can you imagine livin' in a house with two butlers? There would be bedlam, at least, if not murder. No, thank you, as much as I love him, you can keep him here. Besides, that way, I know the house will still be standin' when I come back." Jo laughed, as she once again began doing the action that for some reason made Steve really, really angry, uncomfortable, uneasy, she wasn't really sure what. It had begun as an accident, something she didn't even realise she did, but now, if she wanted to make a point she did it as often as she could, and it always worked.

"And you are doing that wagging thing again," suddenly Steve saw the glint in her eye and realisation dawned, "on purpose, you are doing it on purpose, come here." He leant into her and began to tickle her, and in a few seconds Jo was helplessly laughing and rolling on the ground.

"No … stop … I … I promise … no more," Jo couldn't speak, the tears were on her cheeks now, and she was having trouble catching her breath. Steve gave her one more tickle and then moved his hands away. For a minute Jo couldn't say anything, but gradually her laughing stopped and her breathing eased. "Oh, I hate that! Why do we laugh when it's somethin' so horrible?"

Steve shook his head and then took her right hand in his own. "Well, it's a funny thing, but I think that every time a certain Texan lady waggles her finger at me, tickling will ensue!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Watch me." Steve grinned, and then as Jo waggled her right index finger just slightly he grabbed at her again.

"Ok … Ok, you win!" Jo stopped just for a moment and Steve let go of her. "Why does it get you all … I don't know, unnecessary, I guess."

"I have no idea, it's alright most of the time, when you type with it, or eat, or even when you touch me, but when you wag it at me, I just feel … urghhh." Steve shuddered, and Jo had to laugh again at her big strong husband. She held her hand out and looked at the finger in question. It looked just the same as all the others, but she and Steve, and all her friends, knew that it wasn't real. She painted the long nail to match the rest, but it would never grow, hopefully would never break, if she rested her fingers on Steve's hand she could only feel him with four of them, and there was no denying it, if she waggled it she turned him to jello.

Jo had lost her finger when she had been kidnapped by a cop who signed himself _S. Todd_ and he had chopped her finger off with a small guillotine. The prosthetic digit that she'd had fitted was wonderful, it looked so real, it even had the half moon on the nail, and she could use it to do almost everything that the lost finger had done, but to Steve, when she used it to admonish him or to make a point it just spooked him out.

Steve lay back on the grass, put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. They didn't spend an awful lot of time in the garden, and it was nice to be able to do so. Jo always organised all the plants and bulbs herself, but she had a gardener who came in once a week to keep everything in order. The air was silent apart from the sound of the water from a fountain which was just around a bend in the green springy path. The lawned area was in front of where the fountain stood, and behind that was an arched gateway that led to a low boxed-hedge garden which had flowers inside borders of the green bush planted in intricate patterns across a large rectangular area.

Jo sat up, her arms around her knees and watched the man who had changed her life. She'd had a difficult childhood, losing her parents when she had been five years old, and she had been brought up by her paternal grandparents, who had loved her brother David and herself very much, but still now she longed to be able to have chats with her mom, or to see Steve and her daddy together, maybe going to a ball game, or riding the range back in Texas. When her grandpapa and then her grandmamma had died Jo found herself alone, it wasn't something she liked, but she'd had a feeling that it might be a permanent thing.

People dreamt about having the type of money she had, but they didn't realize it wasn't a blessing, but a curse. Sure it was nice not to have to worry about pensions, or whether they could afford a new car, or a new anything, but it had serious down sides too. Always, in the back of her mind, when she lived in Texas, had been the possibility that new acquaintances weren't interested in her, but in what she could give them. That hadn't been the case in Los Angeles, and when she had begun going out with Steve she hadn't mentioned her money at all.

Steve moved slightly and stretched his long legs out crossing them at the ankles. Jo smiled and watched as his chest rose and fell and then turned her attention out towards her garden. The house as well as the grounds had always meant a great deal to her, but now, with Steve and Daniel living here along with Michael it had become a family home, and she loved it even more. As if by magic, as she thought of him, her foster son came jogging down the path towards them. She stood up quickly and put her finger to her lips, and the boy stopped moving and looked down at his dad, who was now fast asleep on the grass.

"How was school?" Jo whispered as she steered him away from Steve so the sound of their conversation wouldn't disturb him.

"Um, it was good, thanks." Daniel looked a little distracted, and Jo put her hand on his shoulder.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jo looked at the boy with concern in her eyes.

Without a word Daniel took a letter out of his bag and handed it to her. She read through it and then keeping her voice low looked at him. "Another trip?" 

Daniel had been on two school trips already since he had changed schools, and now he had details of another one. "I don't have to go, I know I've used up my allowance and more over the past month, I can miss this one."

"Where's it to?" The sleepy voice came from behind them on the grass, and Daniel's face lit up in a smile.

"San Francisco, to the Academy of Sciences Museum. It's for two days over spring break next year."

"Can we talk about it later?" The voice was still sleepy, and Daniel laughed. 

"Sure, I guess I can let you finish your afternoon nap. I know how you need the extra sleep at your age." Daniel had picked up his backpack and rushed back to the house before Steve had got to his feet, let out a roar and raced after him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jesse, I don't understand you. Before Anneya was born you wouldn't let me out of your sight, and now you don't bat an eye when I tell you I am going to go to the Chief's sister's house and might be there for a couple of days. What is the matter with you?" Rae reached out to Jesse as she spoke.

"Rae, it makes no difference to me what you do, just let me know when you're going and when you're gonna get back." Jesse moved away from the contact that he knew she wanted to make and walked towards the kitchen. He was thirsty and needed a drink.

Rae sat down on the sofa and ran her fingers through her hair. Something was wrong with Jesse, but she had no idea what. He had been through a terrible ordeal and was still on medical leave from Community General Hospital for a little while longer, but if she kept quiet and didn't mention her job or her day, he was fine.

"Rae, Honey, do you want a drink?" Jesse's voice floated out through the air as if no words had been spoken in anger, and with a sigh Rae knew that once again, as far as Jesse was concerned, there was no problem, nothing was wrong, and if she wanted a peaceful afternoon before she went to work, which she did, then she would have to go along with it.

"Yes, please, anything cold would be lovely." Rae picked up the folder she had brought home from the station planning to move to the dining room and work in there. The Chief's only sister had been brutally murdered in the elevator of one of the major downtown banks, and he had specifically requested her involvement in the case. In fact he had asked her to head the enquiry and so she now had a mountain of paperwork, a headache that had lasted six weeks, and a far closer working relationship with her boss that she had ever thought possible.

Cheryl had taken the call on the case to start with, but she had been more than happy to hand the whole thing over to her friend. Although Cheryl admitted that the Chief of Police did a good job she didn't like him, and so the chance to pass on working closely with him had been gratefully accepted.

Rae had spent a long time going over the bank records of Elizabeth Masters, and the woman seemed to be just the type of person who wouldn't get herself murdered. The possibility had to be investigated that she was killed because of who her brother was, rather than who she was, and so Rae had found herself preparing to look into the past life of John Masters as well.

Elizabeth had lived in Santa Barbara, and Rae had gone up to her house once already to look through the contents, but now the Chief had decided that he would sell her beautiful Mediterranean style home, and so he was going to spend a few days clearing his sister's possessions out first. Because nothing had been found so far to give them even a vague clue as to why she had been killed, John Masters had asked Rae to accompany him, and go through everything as well, in the hope of finding something incriminating.

This was the information that Rae had told her husband, only to find that she could probably have packed, left, carried out her assignment and returned without him actually batting an eyelid. As she sat there contemplating the changes in her husband she heard herself being called from the playroom and with a smile got to her feet and headed towards the sound of her daughter's voice.

"Mommy, Mommy, Neya cwy." Eliana was pointing to the younger child, who at just over a year old was almost the same size as her three year old sister. She was sitting, a pile of bricks at her feet, sobbing.

"Come here, Sweetie, tell Mummy what's wrong." The little girl buried her face into her mother's neck and carried on crying. One of the reasons for the tears soon became abundantly obvious and Rae moved over to the changing table and pulled a clean diaper and some wipes down from the shelf. "Did you knock her tower over, Eliana?" Rae spoke over her shoulder as she worked.

"No, Mommy…" There was a pause, "I'm a good girl."

"Mmm, I'm sure you are." Rae put the revoltingly dirty article in the diaper disposer by her foot and then placed Anneya back on the floor, a finger grasped tightly in each of the child's hands. Slowly, putting one tentative foot in front of the other the little girl made her way back towards the pile of blocks in the playpen. She could walk unaided, but much preferred it if either her mommy, or even better her daddy would hold her hands and help her across whatever room she happened to be in. The little girl was a blue eyed, dark blonde haired beauty, and every time she looked at Anneya, Rae could see Jesse staring back at her. Eliana on the other hand had Rae's colouring, mousy brown curls, dark brown eyes, and a dark complexion. There was Romany blood somewhere back in Rae's past, and it had come out in Eliana just as it had in her other daughter Mara, who lived in England. Mara had, since the day she was born, looked like she had just come back from a Caribbean holiday, and Eliana was the same. Although Rae put sun cream on both children before they even walked to the car, she never worried that her elder daughter would burn; her skin just wasn't like that.

Rae's wandering thoughts had brought her and her daughter to the playpen and now Anneya was sitting back inside it rebuilding her tower. She only had five bricks, and she could easily stack four of them up. It was the fifth one that caused all the trouble, and she had yet to achieve that final storey, not knowing that when she did her mother would add another brick to her pile. Rae sat on the carpet and crossed her legs and Eliana came and sat in the middle of them. Rae began to absent mindedly plait the curls and the little girl sat in a trance and enjoyed the feeling. 

It was another half an hour, after Rae had read two stories, plaited and unplaited hair, built a tower only to have it knocked down over and over again to the delightful sound of childish laughter, that she realised that Jesse hadn't brought in her drink. Disengaging herself from her eldest daughter's grasping hands she went out into the hallway and down towards the morning room. Jesse was sitting there looking out onto the garden, and he didn't move until she was standing right next to him. "Jesse, Honey, are you all right?"

"What? Oh, Rae, yeah, I'm fine, I'm just enjoying the peace and quiet. Would you like a drink?" Jesse got to his feet.

"That would be lovely, if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course not. Jesse reached out and almost touched her and then with a smile left the room, and Rae watched his retreating back, knowing that he was in serious trouble.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The station house was quiet when Rae and Steve arrived, almost together, just after six. They were both on the graveyard shift for one more night and then they would have a couple of days to get their internal clocks back to normal working conditions before they began a shift of days. Or at least Steve would, Rae was heading out with the Chief after her days off.

Rae went over to the coffee machine and got her partner a drink, then she made herself an herbal tea and took them both back over to where their desks were situated just outside the Captain's office.

"So, what do we have?" Rae put the steaming cup of coffee down and waited for Steve to speak.

"Not a lot." Steve passed over the notebook that Cheryl had left on his desk. She had been working the opposite set of hours with Sam Yip, and leaving a record of what they had done each day for them to see.  Sometimes the nights were quiet, and because of the wonders of the internet the officers working that shift had a chance to do some research for the other cops in their division.

Rae scanned the page, and saw that Cheryl needed some research done on the availability of information on the internet on how to get work as a maid or a nanny and also in a store. Rae put her initials next to that, and hoped she would get the chance to work on it. There were a couple of sets of phone numbers that Cheryl wanted as well, and so Rae grudgingly put her name to one of those as well. "You can get the phones tonight, I'll do two of these you do one, ok?"

Steve just smiled, "Yeah, no problem." He was in such a good mood that if Rae had insisted he did all three he would probably have agreed.

"You sounded like you were having fun this afternoon." Rae perched on the edge of his desk and took a sip of her tea.

"Pardon?" Steve looked a little confused for a moment.

"I sat in the breakfast room with the children having a drink and I could hear you and Texas laughing and having a good time."

"Oh, yeah, we did." For a moment Steve was in his back yard once more, and the memory was a very pleasant one.

Rae made her way back to her own desk, and gradually as the world outside darkened around them they began to concentrate on the tasks left by Cheryl as well as various things they needed to look up for their own cases. For the next couple of hours they didn't speak to each other, but made notes, checked and double checked things and then, almost as if it had been planned, they leant back in their seats at the same time, looked at each other and laughed.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Steve could feel his stomach growling, and he checked his watch. It was just after eight thirty, and the best deli in the area closed at nine. 

"Yes, please. Jesse was supposed to cook and he didn't so I'm starving. Just a tossed salad with French dressing, would be nice." Rae tried not to bring the picture of her husband up into her mind. There were a lot of things happening in her house right now, and none of them resulted in the sounds of laughter she had heard from Steve's garden earlier in the day.

"Ok, I'll be back in a little while." Steve got up and headed for the stairs. He disappeared out of the door and Rae found her mind travelling back towards her husband and the problems she knew he was having.

Jesse was due back into work on Monday. His arm was progressing as his doctors had hoped, and although it was still quite obvious where the skin grafts had been put it was clear that they would merge in quite well in the end. The infection which had left him so weak had also been eradicated, so physically he was doing fine, but mentally, well, Rae knew things were very wrong there.

Rae had just begun to try to work out why he was behaving as he was when the phone in front of her began to ring. Reaching out her hand Rae took in a deep breath and brought herself back to the present.

"Detective Yeager." Although she called herself Reagan Travis everywhere else, Rae had never changed her name for work. "Hold on, and I'll take it down as you speak … and you're sure of this, you said she was distressed, how distressed?" Rae listened as the dispatch operator repeated details given to her by a black and white crew who had called in for a homicide unit. "Look, do you have a number for her…? Thanks, I'll call her, make an appointment to go see her and maybe get the facts again right now."

Rae punched in the number and waited to hear the voice at the other end of the line. "This is Detective Yeager, LAPD." For a few moments she just listened, but finally she knew she needed to intervene. "Ok, Ma'am, just slow down, take a deep breath, and then, when you're ready, tell me again what you have found." Rae tried to keep her voice soft and low, just as she had heard Jesse, Mark and Alex do when treating patients, usually her. The woman on the other end of the line was upset and her words were coming in unintelligible clumps but gradually she began to make some sense.

By the time Rae had finished taking down all the details her partner was back with the food she knew she would be waiting a long while for. Finally putting down the phone Rae let out another sigh and looked up at the tall man in front of her.

"Ok, give. You know, I almost bought something hot and then realised I was tempting fate. Good job, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll tell you in the car."

"Where are we going?" Steve spoke to his partner's back as they made their way down the stairs.

"Not far, it's a piece of waste land off the boulevard."

They exited through the double doors together and Rae heard the click as Steve's car was unlocked automatically. She slid into the passenger seat, grabbed the emergency light from the floor and clonked it onto the roof, then she fastened her seat belt as Steve drew out of the parking lot.

The journey was hindered by some heavy traffic and as they sat in a line of stationary cars Rae began to let Steve know what she had.

"Ok, I had the witness from hell on the phone. But this is what I managed to get out of her. It is a piece of waste ground, a bit overgrown, it's been derelict forever, she said, and she goes there to walk her dog." Rae saw Steve stiffen a little, and a smile played on her lips. She might have the biggest, hunkiest partner in the precinct, but he still didn't like dogs. He had mentioned once the trouble he'd had with a small, yappy thing while investigating the death of a mime, so she decided to skip over the fact that the dog was an Alsatian, _German Shepherd, Steve would call it a German Shepherd,_ and carried on talking. 

"She let the mutt off the leash and it sniffed around for a while and then it began to whimper and cry. She, Mrs Rothschild, went over to see what the fuss was about and she found a body."

"I see. Did she give you any other information … Oh come on, the car in front is moving, you are allowed to follow him!" Steve watched as the vehicle directly in front of them just sat there as all the ones before him and around him moved along the road a way. "See this light? It's not advertising ice cream!"

"So turn it on, move out and cut through, or calm down and give your ulcer a chance to form in peace." Rae watched as Steve just turned slightly and looked at her, and then she decided that it would probably be better if she carried on talking. "The body is a woman, and all I could get out of Mrs Rothschild was no clothes and a lot of blood."

"Oh, for Pete's sake," Steve yelled.  "What's the matter with you?"  It was not unheard of for tired drivers to fall asleep at the wheel in stop and go traffic only to have other vehicles drive around them.  In fact, sometimes when the roads were particularly jammed up at rush hour, people would sleep until they ran out of gas, only to be woken when the engine stopped. As the gap between the car ahead of him and the one ahead of it lengthened, Steve got out of the car grumbling and went to see what was wrong with the other driver.  A minute or two later, he came back and told Rae.  "We've got a body, still warm and unless we both missed foul play happening right in front of us I would say it has to be natural causes.  Call it in.  Request another unit to take over for us here so we can get on to our original call."

For a moment Rae thought he was kidding her, but then she saw the grim look on his face and realised that they had better do something. She put the call through to dispatch, climbed out of the car, moved round to the trunk and began to get organised.

The orange vests they had to wear seemed initially to attract motorists like moths to a flame, and Rae spent the next five minutes sending them back to their own vehicles. While she was doing that Steve put up the flares, and police tape necessary to isolate the car and its now dead driver.

It was about fifteen to twenty minutes, neither of them was exactly sure, before the faint sound of sirens could be heard, and as they gradually got louder and louder the black and white responding to the call came into view. The car pulled up alongside Steve's Crown Victoria and two young cops got out. 

After leaving instructions with them, Steve and Rae got back into the car and headed for their initial destination, wondering how long it would be before the road was clear and the rest of the drivers could continue with their journeys. The remainder of the trip was made in silence, apart from the sound of the siren and the flash of the light getting brighter as the world got darker. Steve had smiled sheepishly as he had pulled out of the hold up, and she had laughed, but after that they had just concentrated on getting to where they were going as quickly as possible.

Steve looked around, his flashlight creating arcs through the black night. "Oh, great, it's dark, we're on unlit waste ground, there could be half a dozen bodies in here and we wouldn't be any the wiser .... What?"

"Don't even joke about things like that!" Rae had looked horrified when Steve spoke.

"Sorry." Steve took one more look around and then turned to his partner once more. "Rae get on to the station, get some back up out, with lights, and get whoever's on the desk to get in touch with the coroner's office so they can see the scene while it's still fresh. I want to know if she was killed here or elsewhere, and I don't want this all trampled down." Steve was still standing on the sidewalk, and Rae hadn't moved from the side of the car. She leant in through the window, picked up the radio mic and began her task.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jo, Daniel and Michael, had, much to the surprise of all of them, spent a very enjoyable evening playing dominoes. Jo and Daniel had been delighted that they had managed to persuade Michael to join them, and it had made for a much more enjoyable time. When there were only two players, it was obvious to each of them what pieces the opponent had, but with a third it was much better. Michael, being Michael though, had disappeared after five games and returned with some snacks and munchies for the rest of the evening, and by the time the three of them were ready to go to bed they were all feeling extremely content with each other and themselves.

As he got to the bottom of the stairs, Daniel turned and faced his mom. "You know I really am sorry about that trip."

"Honey, I read the letter, and you are on the list of children to go because you earnt your spot, there is no way we will stop you from goin', but you might find your chore list is a little longer for the next few weekends!"

"Not the pool! I'll even clean windows without complaining if you keep me away from the pool."

"Mmm, you not complain, that I would love to see, now go to bed, an', Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Tonight was fun, thank you."

Daniel leant over and kissed Jo on the cheek and let himself be pulled into her arms. As he did so he spoke quietly to her. "And you're ok, really ok?"

Jo moved back and gently took his face into her hands. "Yes, I'm really ok. An' a lot of that is thanks to you. Now, bed, or you won't be able to get up in the mornin'."

Daniel smiled, waved a hand to Michael, who was removing the dishes from the morning room, and then turned and went up the stairs. His music came on, but ten minutes after that it was off, and Jo knew he was in bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Both Steve and Rae had been surprised to see that it was Amanda who came out to look at the body. She didn't normally work nights because of the boys. "Hey, guys, I had a feeling it might be you." She smiled at her friends, and stood next to them on the sidewalk as the last of the arc lights were put up and then the entire area was flooded with a yellow glow.

"I guess you drew the short straw, huh?" Rae looked at Amanda as she pulled on her gloves.

"Actually, I volunteered. Ron is at the house tonight, but he has been doing long shifts and so he put the boys to bed and then went to sleep himself. I figured if I worked tonight I could spend tomorrow with him. I don't need as much beauty sleep as he does!"

The three of them looked at the area where the body had been found. At present there was very little to indicate where it actually was, and that pleased them all. Mrs. Rothschild had been visited by a pair of uniformed officers, and Rae and Steve had arranged to go and see her in the morning, first thing, before they signed off.

"Well, it looks like the scene is pretty undisturbed. I would like to keep it that way." As Steve spoke there was a sudden smell of burning, a fizz and all the specially placed lights went out and the entire area changed from being flooded with a welcome and helpful glow to total darkness. "What the hell just happened?" Steve's voice as it called out was anything but friendly.

"Sorry, Lieutenant, The whole thing blew, but I'm working on it."

"Well, hurry up!" For a moment Steve considered the situation and then spoke again. "Nobody moves, and I mean nobody." There was total silence and then a small voice called out.

"Lieutenant, I have my flashlight, hold on." A circle of light appeared and Steve watched as it snaked its way towards him.

"Once you've found me shine it so I can make my way to my car."

"Yes, Sir."

"Rae, Amanda, you stay here, don't move, I'll be back." With that Steve carefully walked off, like an actor making his way to the middle of the stage for a soliloquy, towards his car. As they were told to the two women stood in silence until the beam from a flashlight lit up the area. "Amanda, I'll go first, you follow me, walking where I walk, and then Rae, you come last. Anything that either of you see, point it out and I'll get it highlighted." Steve gave his orders in a quiet, calm, but authoritative tone and the two women just nodded their heads. Rae was considering putting herself forward for the promotion boards that were coming up, but she knew that even if she was successful she would always defer to Steve. His experience and dependability were second to none.

As Steve swung his flashlight round in an arc something glistened, and both Amanda and Rae called out at the same moment.

"There."

"I see something." 

Steve stopped and slowly swung the light again. As he did so the beam caught the item for a second time and as it was nearer to her, and she was already wearing gloves Amanda crouched down and carefully pointed at a small object. "It's the snap fastener from a pair of jeans. How do you want to mark it?"

"Um." Steve thought for a moment, and then he saw a smile cross Rae's face and her hands disappear into her jacket.

"I brought these in because I'd run out, but we can use them here." Rae had a pack of purple post it notes. They were narrow and had transparent sticky bits. She used them to mark places in text or bank statements and the amount of those she had looked at lately she was going through packets of the things.

"Great, stick one next to that then." Steve waited, his flashlight pointing where Rae needed to see, and then once she had done as she was told they moved on. Nothing else was found until they began to smell the easily recognisable, slightly metallic odour of blood. 

"Oh, God, she wasn't kidding was she?" Rae couldn't help but speak out; the body was just as the woman had described it. Naked and there was an extraordinary amount of blood. The grass in front of them was red and Rae knew it could probably still be sticky. The ground was firm underfoot, and for a moment Rae turned away and carefully pointed her own flashlight, that Steve had brought with him, at the ground so that she could see how dry it was.

There were cracks zigging across the entire area she had lit up, and Rae thought that some of the blood would have soaked into the soil. A lot of the grasses were dead or dying, and they seemed to be stained red, whereas the green new shoots were not absorbing anything. In fact, in the more sheltered areas, close to the body, the blood had formed globules as if it were spring rain on their fronds and not anything more sinister.

Amanda was looking at the body with an experienced eye, and what she saw caused her pain. The blood, most of it dried, was everywhere, or almost everywhere, except where it should be, and that was inside the skin of what looked like quite a young woman. If she had to guess, probably in her early twenties. Her hair was long, blonde and saturated red, but it was almost impossible to see where the blood was from, there was so much of it over almost every part of the woman's anatomy. With a heavy sigh she began to speak, only to stop again as the flash from a camera went off next to her. 

"Oh!" Rae couldn't help the involuntary gasp that escaped her. "Sorry." She looked away shamefaced for a moment giving herself a mental telling off at the same time. _For goodness sake, it's been years, pull yourself together._

"I'll have a good look at her, but there's nothing I can do tonight. She's been dead for a while I would say, I don't know how she died, and I will probably have to clean her off completely before I can make a decision about that."

"Do you have any idea how long ago she was killed?" Steve knew what the answer was going to be, but even so, he still had to ask.

"No, Steve, for a while is all I'll say, but I will know by morning. I do know that it was violent, I would hazard a guess at stab wounds, because there is way too much blood for just one gunshot, unless it severed an artery. And I would say that, unless all this was done after she died, she was killed here. I didn't see any blood on the way to the murder site, not on the sidewalk or on the grass…"

"Lieutenant?" A voice cut through the darkness, interrupting Amanda and causing all three of them and the photographer who was still taking pictures, to turn towards the noise and saw a face lit up like a grotesque mask in the beam of a young officer's torch.

"Wherever you are stay still, I'll come to you." Steve called back towards where the sound had come from as the face disappeared into the darkness once more and then began playing his flashlight beam over the area again. As he began to move the figure of a uniformed cop came into his beam, he waved his hand and they knew they had the right guy. "Ok. Hold on." Steve lowered the light to the ground and looked at the area in front of his feet. Most of the grass was standing tall, and didn't look like it had been walked on in a long time, if ever and carefully he began to make his way to the young man.

Steve looked at the badge on his shirt, "Ok, Jenkins, what have you got?"

"Tracks, Sir. I haven't got to them yet, but my light picked them out." This time two beams travelled in the direction that the cop pointed and Steve could see that a vehicle of some kind had pulled onto the derelict lot and most probably stayed there while murder was committed. The grass was bent down but still green, there were no new shoots growing up straight through it, and Steve would bet his badge on the fact that the tracks had been made in the last twenty-four hours or so.


	2. Forensic Evidence

**Chapter Two – Forensic Evidence **

Rae pulled into the front driveway of her house and watched Steve come in behind her.  She climbed out of Tom and waited for her partner to join her. They had decided that they would pick up breakfast on the way home and discuss the case together as they ate it.

It was a little before ten, and so it was more of a brunch, they had bagels and cookies as well as the coffee and orange juice that seemed to accompany most meals. Rae opened the front door and dropped her keys into the dish on the window sill.

Jesse came out of the breakfast room as he heard the noise and smiled a small smile. "Hi, Rae … Steve." He had Anneya in his arms and she squealed at her mom, but Eliana made the most noise as she rushed at Steve's legs and was swung up into the air by her Uncle.

Rae moved over to kiss her husband, but he backed away just at the last minute and she kissed nothing. It seemed that, apart from his daughters, he couldn't cope with any form of physical contact unless he initiated it. It hadn't always been so. When Jesse first returned from the hospital he seemed to crave her company, and then, gradually, he had moved away from her and she had thought he was getting independent again that she had helped him to survive without her, but now, nobody except Eliana and Anneya was allowed to get anywhere near him.

"We need to finish some work on a case we picked up last night, but didn't want to go back into the station. We won't be too long because if I don't get some sleep in the next couple of hours I think you'll find me snoring standing up."

"Ok, I'll be in the playroom, that way you can use the table in the breakfast room. Rae, Eliana had an asthma attack just after she woke this morning, you'll need to note it down." Jesse almost smiled at his wife and then his best friend, and headed towards the girls' toys.

"Oh dear, Honey, are you all right?" Rae moved closer to her eldest daughter, reached up and stroked her cheek as she sat happily in Steve's arms.

"Ess, kew, Mommy." 

Rae knew that whatever was bothering Jesse he would have given the little girl her medication and so she leant in a little closer and kissed Eliana on the forehead, listening to her breathing as she did so. Happy that everything was now fine she turned and then watched Eliana run past her after she had been put down onto the floor and tried to get herself back into work mode again. 

Steve opened the door to the bright sunny room that Rae liked best of all in her house and they put their paperwork and food down on the table. Rae undid the sideboard and took out two plates, she put the bagels on to them, put the cookies in the middle of the table and took a swig of her juice, then she plonked herself down in the closest chair and pulled a folder towards her; as she did so she felt the dried blood on her jeans and shuddered. "Steve, I have to go change before I do anything else." She stood back up and, seeing him nod in agreement, headed for the stairs.

Steve stood up as well and, knowing he had a few minutes to spare, moved into the playroom to see his friend. Although Steve hadn't said anything it seemed that there had been very little voluntary contact between Jesse and his friends since he had been rescued. He knew that Jo had come and seen him, and they'd had a barbeque when everybody had been present, but Jesse had just seemed to be going along for the ride. He had joined in, made conversation, but Steve got the feeling that something was wrong with his friend, and he was worried for him.

Steve tapped on the nursery door, not only because he would never enter without permission, but also in case one of the girls was standing behind it. There was no friendly shout of 'come in' or 'hold on' or anything, so after waiting a minute Steve carefully poked his head round the doorframe. There were French doors from the playroom out onto the patio, which were wide open. Steve moved out into the garden and he could see Eliana and Anneya in the fenced off play area. It had been well thought out by Rae, and had swings, a small slide, a climbing frame, that Steve guessed would come up to his thigh, and a sand pit. There was also another fenced area within it, which was just for sitting in the sun and playing with ordinary toys and that was where the girls were.

Anneya had her set of blocks which she was playing with, and Steve thought that she was nothing if not determined. He knew from something Rae had said earlier that she was into building towers at present. Eliana had a shape sorter which looked like a gumball machine. It was a circular shape and the holes for the blocks were spaced out around the ball. On the side was a handle, and if you pulled it down all the shapes, which had disappeared inside, came tumbling out of a hole in the base. Eliana had never had any interest in putting shapes into their right homes, but she loved pulling the handle, and so would now put one shape in, pull the handle and then try another one. It was the most successful sorter to date.

"Aii, Unki Teve." Eliana got up and moved across to the closest point to the man she adored and smiled up at him. 

"Where's Daddy, Sweetie?" Steve was surprised that Jesse wasn't sitting on the bench which was also a part of the play area. As much as Rae enjoyed getting down and dirty with her daughters, there were times, she said, when adult seating was a must.

"There." A little pudgy finger pointed to a part of the garden just out of sight of the children's swings and Steve saw a pair of feet just poking out of the bushes.

With a worried look on his face Steve made his way towards them, waving to his goddaughter as he did so. Although he was concerned about his friend, he couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Anneya hadn't even looked up at him. "Jesse?" Steve looked down at his friend who was sitting on a low wall that surrounded a flower bed. There was no movement, no indication that he had heard his name being called, nothing. Steve, carefully so as not to scare Jesse, put his hand on his arm. "Jess?"

Jesse just seemed to come to. "Oh, hi, Steve."

"Jesse, are you all right?" Steve was still worried; even though he had answered him fine the second time.

"Yeah, why?"

_Why?_ Steve wasn't really sure. His friend could have just been deep in thought; he could be imagining the fact that he hadn't seen much of Jesse, or making more of it than it was. Sometimes they went for long periods without any close contact. These thoughts passed through his mind in an instant, and he shook them away. "You just looked miles away, and … well, I know it's none of my business, but the girls can't see you."

Jesse smiled, but there was no warmth in it. "They know where I am, or Eliana does, I can see them, and sometimes I like to sit and just watch them, y'know, when they have no idea they're being observed."

At that moment Steve heard his name being called, and knew that his partner was back from freshening up. "Ok, Buddy, I gotta go back in, but I'll see you later, all right?"

"Yeah, Steve, whatever." Jesse turned his attention back to his children, and Steve moved towards the house, knowing that however doubtful his thought process was, one thing was certain, something was up with Jesse, he just wasn't sure what it was.

Rae had ducked through the shower because the blood had soaked her jeans, and as it had dried it had stained her leg, she'd been cross with herself for not watching as she crouched down, her ankle had turned on the uneven ground, and she'd had to kneel down to save herself from falling.  But now she was clean again and waiting in the breakfast room, her hair wet and brushed straight back from her face, and she had on a pair of white casual trousers and a blue sleeveless shirt. Steve smiled at her. "That looks nice."

"Well, thank you, I'm glad you approve." Rae joked, but she was surprised and delighted by her partner's words, and both of them knew it. Giving herself a mental shake, Rae began to focus her thoughts back on the case at hand. "Ok, Mrs Rothschild gave us, ooh, would you say nothing or absolutely nothing?" Rae shook her head.  The interview with their witness had been a non starter. The dog had found the corpse and she hadn't seen anything or anybody. 

"Well, I guess once she saw the victim and the blood that was enough for her. I have to say I think it would probably be enough for most people." Steve took a bite of his bagel and washed it down with some of his cooling coffee.

"So, what do we really have?" Rae looked at the rough notes they had taken while they were out, and the ones she had written as they were driving back to the precinct. They hadn't gone back inside the building for anything more than a quick check of their messages. They had left a note on Cheryl's desk to let her know what they had so far, in case anything came up before their next shift, and then they had signed out and left. Neither of them had spoken more than five words the entire time they had been in the squad room. They were exhausted, and the prospect of a few days off was very welcome, however, they had a feeling that they would be back in the squad room some time the next day to work on the information that Amanda would have by then.

"Until we have the stuff from Amanda we have very little. From what I saw I would say the victim was late teens, early twenties, average height, blonde, female and very dead." Steve stopped talking, wanting to hear Rae's views as well as his own.

"Yeah, I agree with all that. I'll stick my neck out and say she was killed with a knife. Maybe it's a stabbing, or maybe she was slashed with the weapon, but still a knife. I think she was killed where we found her, and unless her murderer was naked too, he, or she, I guess, would have been covered with blood as well. I only knelt down to check something, and my jeans were soaked on one leg." Rae had kept her eyes on her partner the whole time she spoke, and had been gratified to see him nod his head in agreement a couple of times.

"So, we can list it as Caucasian female, eighteen to twenty-four, five eight, five nine tall, blonde … eyes, we didn't get that did we?"

"No, her eyes were closed, thank goodness, but she was a natural blonde, if that helps."

"Nope, not really. She could still have almost any colour eyes. What?" Steve noticed Rae look a little cross.

"I didn't mean that her hair colour would help with her eyes, I know there is no correlation because …well, I just know." Rae didn't want to start explaining things to someone who knew it all anyway.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I guess it's not a lot to send through to missing persons, but we'll give it a shot. I hate to say this…" Steve paused as he saw Rae smile.

"But, get a couple of hours sleep and then we need to go to work?"

"Yeah, exactly. I don't want to go either, Rae, Jo leaves in a coupla days, and I want to spend some time with her. But this needs to be done; there's no way around it."

"I know, and I agree. Ok, you go home grab a few hours too. It's what, ten after eleven, so how about if we make our way in at about three, we can work for a couple of hours and still be home in time for dinner?" Rae smiled, hoping that Steve would realise that she really did understand.

"Sounds good to me… Rae, before I go, can I ask you something?" Steve didn't know whether to bring the subject up or not.

"Yeah, go for it." Rae's eyes were dancing, and her smile was light.

"Is Jesse ok?" Steve watched as the enjoyment and relaxation left Rae's face.

"I don't know. He won't let me get close enough to find out, which is another reason why I want some time with him before he starts back to work. Why?" The worry was evident in her voice now.

"He just seemed a bit distant." Suddenly Steve wanted to back off. If Rae was already worried about him he would stay out of it for a while longer, just be a sounding board. "But if you want to talk about it to me, just let me know."

"Sure, and thanks, but you brought it up." The comment was light, but it wasn't accompanied by anything remotely like a smile and Steve moved over and placed his arm around her.

"Yeah, I know, but the offer stands, ok?"

Rae was just about to answer when the French doors to the breakfast room opened and Jesse came through. He didn't do any more than just nod to his wife and best friend, even though Steve still had his arm around his partner, before carrying on towards the kitchen, and then, after a couple of minutes passed in total silence, he returned carrying two cold drinks and a bottle of water. This time there was no acknowledgement and Jesse closed the doors and went back to his children. Rae and Steve looked at each other, but had no words to speak.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jo looked at the clothes on the bed in front of her and sighed. She guessed it said something about the way she was feeling that all the stuff she had picked to go on her trip was business-like, formal and definitely stuffy. Jo had loved her grandmother very much, and that was really the main reason she was going to Texas. If she was honest with herself Jo could no longer picture her parents in her mind, the large framed photo that she'd put up in the hallway to the East Wing served as her image of them, and she really didn't want to go digging into the past to find out how they had died.

She remembered being with her parents, of breakfasts together before her daddy went off to work, of her mom coming into the nursery where David and she spent their days, to join the nanny and play games with them. The images of the faces in those memories didn't tally with the ones in the photographs and she guessed that she had turned them into some sort of fairytale prince and princess as she travelled through her childhood alone.

As Jo had looked through all the pictures she had found in the attic, she had realised that her grandparents hadn't really come into her life until after the fire that had decimated her family. She had never met her mother's parents, it had never seemed a situation that was discussed, but maybe, while she was in Texas, she would look them up too.

Shaking herself out of her reverie Jo moved over to one of her closets and took out two pairs of jeans, one which had frayed slashes down the legs, and another which had patterns all over them in a glittery spray. She put them on the bed with a determination that made her laugh, and then went in a search for two frivolous tops to go with them.

As she came back towards the bed once more she heard the front door close downstairs and dropping her clothes she moved out onto the landing to see who was home. Daniel was at school, but Michael had only gone to the market so it could be him, the one other person with a key was Steve. There was nobody visible when Jo got to the top of the stairs and so she ran lightly down, tracing her fingers down the dark mahogany banister as she did so.

Hearing a sound in the kitchen she pushed open the door and then a smile split her face as she saw her husband, his head in the refrigerator, in front of her. "Hey, are you finished with nights?"

Steve backed out of the fridge, a guilty look in his eyes and a slice of meatloaf in his mouth. "Mmm, hmow mar … you?" He swallowed and then smiled.

"Michael will have your guts for garters. You know he made that for Daniel." For some reason the boy had a passion for the butler's meatloaf at the moment, and if it was cold with salad and fries he was in fifteen-year-old heaven.

"Sorry, hungry, come here." Steve closed the door with his foot as he turned and pulled his wife into his arms. He began to kiss her but she backed away.

"Ewww, Steve, no, Honey, you taste of dinner." The feel of his arms around her was welcome and she didn't move any further away. "I guess you'll be goin' to bed then?"

"Afraid so. I … I uh I have to go into the station later. We picked up a new case last night, and I need to get the ball rolling on it. I'm sorry, Jo."  Steve could see the sadness in her eyes as he gave her his news.

"Yeah, I know, an' I also know that you have to do this, but please, darlin', can we get at least one day together before I go?" Jo leant her head on his chest. Apart from the time when Werner had taken her and Jesse, they hadn't been apart since their wedding, and she was going to miss him so much, which was another reason, she was sure, why her heart wasn't in the task her grandmamma had left for her.

Steve just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Suddenly he didn't want her to go, he knew that justice had to be served, but did it really need her to go hundreds of miles to see it done? Then Steve thought about his Uncle Stacey, he was a likeable man, annoying, slightly manipulative, but if he found out that he had been killed years before, he knew he would head for the soda shop to find out just what had happened.

He came back to his senses as he felt Jo take him by the hand and lead him out of the kitchen and over towards the staircase. He had left his sneakers and socks in the utility room, not wanting to bring the debris from the vacant lot into the house, and the tiles of the hallway were cold on the soles of his feet. The sudden warmth and softness of the stair carpet was welcome and he lingered a little as he dug his toes into the deep pile. Then with a smile he allowed himself to be taken up towards the East Wing, noting from the smile on his wife's face as she turned to look at him that it might be a little while before he got to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was just after four when Steve and Rae arrived at the station, and both of them wanted to be elsewhere. Rae moved over to the coffee machine, poured Steve a cup, put down the new packet of tea bags she had brought in for herself, put a pear and guava flavoured bag into the cup that said _there is no such thing as a non working mother_ and filled it with boiling water. She then moved slowly over to where Steve was standing staring out of the window, placed her hand on his arm and held out his drink for him.

"Hey."

Steve turned a smile on his face and looked down at her. She really was a tiny thing, no more than a little bird, she still had the white pants and blue top on, and he was sure that she was thinner than she had been when Jesse was released. "Rae, thank you. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why?" Rae was instantly concerned. Maybe she looked rough, a week of nights would do that to anyone, but she thought she had survived them reasonably well.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right, come on, Sloan, give." Rae looked up at him and Steve could see the determination in her eyes. He had started something, and now it was up to him to finish it.

"It's just that, you look a bit …" Steve considered his words. Even he knew that it was not a good idea to tell a woman she had put on weight, but losing it? He wasn't sure. 

Rae ran her finger round the waistband of her trousers and smiled. "Skinny?"

Steve nodded his head. "You know, huh?"

"I have a lot on my mind, and when that's the case I just don't eat very much. I'll sort it, Steve, I just don't know how, not yet any way."

Steve watched as Rae moved over and sat at her own desk. For a moment his eyes rested on two of the photographs on her desk. One was of Eliana and Anneya in their stroller when Anneya was still a small baby, and the other one was of Jesse, the wind blowing through his hair on a day they had spent together at Griffith Park. His best friend looked relaxed and happy, and Steve realised just how much his recent ordeal had affected him. There was none of the laughter in Jesse's face any more. His eyes were unreadable and he was definitely distracted most of the time. Steve shook his thoughts away, just because Jo seemed to have bounced back that didn't mean that Jesse had to, too. It hadn't been that long since the kidnap and dismemberment case had been solved, and if he was honest with himself Steve found his mind wandering back over it quite often too. With this thought cheering him slightly he sat down in his own chair, picked up the phone, and put a call through to Community General.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mark walked through the reception area of the ER a sheet of paper taking his almost total attention. It was the duty roster for the following week, and the pleasure of seeing Jesse's name back there was marred slightly by the fact that Alex's was missing.

The young doctor had received a call a few nights earlier at the beach house, and Mark had come in from his regular walk along the shore to find his lodger and friend sitting, a wooden ornament from his fireplace in his hands, and he was just turning it over and over.

_"Alex?" Mark had been instantly concerned about the man sitting on his sofa. There were the tracks of tears on his cheeks and he could tell that he was distressed. "What is it?"_

_"No, it's nothing, I'm sorry." Alex had stood up and Mark realised that he was almost too stunned to place one foot in front of the other to move out of the room. He had hurried over and carefully guided his friend back onto the sofa._

_"Alex, something is definitely wrong, why don't you tell me what it is?"_

_"I … I just got a call." Alex shook his head, "It was from the guy who lives next door to my mom. She … she had a heart attack, Mark. I … I don't know what to do."_

_Mark had understood the dilemma immediately. Alex had hesitated when his father had suffered a heart attack a few years earlier, and then decided to stay at work, knowing that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and that he could go visit for his next vacation. Things hadn't worked out that way though, and his father had suffered a second fatal attack. Now the young man was in a similar situation. "You pack a small bag, book a ticket and go see your mom." Mark hoped that his voice showed that he meant what he was saying, but Alex shook his head._

_"How can I do that? Jesse isn't working, we're short staffed, I need to stay."_

_"Alex, Jesse is due back at work on Monday, and even if he weren't I would still be telling you to go, and stay as long as you need to, so that you are satisfied that your mom is gonna be fine. Now, go pack, otherwise I will have to do it for you, and I have no idea what you would really like to wear while you're there!"_

_Alex stood up, and this time a smile reached all the way to his eyes. "Thank you, Mark, I'll repay you when I get back, do a double set of nights, something like that."_

_"And have __Shannon__ on my back? No, thank you! Now, go!"_

Mark brought himself back to the present. Alex had flown out of LA the next morning, and the last he had heard his mom was doing fine, probably improving much quicker because her son was with her.  As Mark opened the door to his small and excessively crowded office his phone began to ring and he moved over and picked it up. "Doctor Sloan … oh, hi, Steve… That would be great, yeah; I'll bring some wine if you like… Ok, I'll see you then… Can I what..? Sure, hold on." Mark pressed the button for the switchboard, and sent Steve back down the line so that he could be transferred to Amanda's lab. Once he had done that he found that he really needed to go there himself, urgently.

"Doctor Bentley … Steve, I was just gonna call you… Oh, I'd have been wrong then, I would have tried you at home first… I think you should come here; it'll be easier to show you on the body itself… Yeah, I'll see you then." Amanda put the receiver back on its cradle and then a smile flooded her face as she saw her colleague and long time friend standing at the door. "Mark, what a lovely surprise, come in."

"Did you speak with Steve?" Mark sat down in the chair in front of Amanda's desk.

"I did, and he's coming over. I'd rather show him what I've found than just talk about it over the phone."

"Well, I'll go and find something to do, check to see if I have any patients, that kind of thing, and come back in thirty minutes. If I'm gonna miss anything, you'll page me, won't you?"

"Yes, I'll make sure you don't hear anything less than Steve and Rae, ok?" She smiled, unable to help herself. Mark could smell a mystery a mile off, and she knew that he would be as interested in what she had found as his son.

It was just over a half hour later that the discussion began. "Ok, our Jane Doe is about twenty-one years old," Amanda stood at the feet end of the table, her audience listening intently to her, "she was killed where she was found, and I would say that it happened the night before she was discovered."

"How can you be sure, you always tell me that you can't be that accurate?" Rae leant forward as she spoke, the interest evident in her voice.

"Normally I can't, but if, for instance, you get someone who has only just been killed then it makes it easier. If there was no rigor at all, not even in the eyelids, lower jaw or neck, and they are the areas affected first, then you are talking of an hour to about three since the time of death. There was full rigor here, so that means less than about 36 hours dead. The fact that nobody, apart from your dog walker, saw anything means she was probably killed at night. Oh, and I am fairly sure that she was killed where she was found."

"You just said that, but I agree. No blood elsewhere, right?" Steve made it sound like a question, but in reality it wasn't. He was sure of his facts.

"Sorry, and yes exactly."

"How did she die?" Mark had been quiet, standing, his hands through the slits in his white coat resting in the pockets of his pants.

"She was stabbed, ten times." 

"And she didn't try to run, or get away … the first wound couldn't have killed her or there wouldn't have been so much blood … so why was she still in the place where the attack took place? If that had been me I would have tried anything to get away." Steve had a slightly confused air as he strove to work out why things had happened the way they had. 

"I'll come back to that, if you don't mind." Amanda checked with Steve and seeing him nod in agreement continued speaking. "There was a wound to the arm, the left arm, not that I think that is significant, which severed the main brachial artery. The blood would have spurted from there, very strongly to start with. I guess she may have been rooted to the spot through shock or fear, but the desire to live is very strong, I don't see it happening that way." Amanda shook her head, the girl had been very young, and once her face and hair had been cleaned she had been pretty too.

"Why was she naked, Amanda, had she been raped?" Rae looked down at the body on the gurney, she was an attractive girl, young, and dead way too soon. Rae had been raped herself, and hated to think of anyone else suffering in that way.

"I don't know if she had been raped, the signs are that she hadn't, but she had been to a club and also she'd had sex just before she died."

"And if it had been rape you would have found signs of forced entry, maybe scratches on her body, skin under her fingernails, and you found none of that." Mark too seemed to be captivated by the face of the young woman before them. "How do you know she had been to a club?"

"There was alcohol in her stomach, precious little else, I might add, and she had one of those stamps on her hand that they put on in clubs so that if you go out you can get back in again. It was really difficult to get any idea of what it was; most of it was removed when I wiped the blood away. I'm sorry, Steve, the stamp itself was red and I didn't know it was there." Amanda looked at her friend and could tell that he forgave her.

"She was beautiful wasn't she?" Mark shook his head at the futileness of it all.

"Yes, she was. So, guys, there is one more thing, I have a feeling it is relevant too, but right now, I don't know why."

"Which is?" Steve had been writing down the odd note here and there, knowing that he really didn't need to, because Amanda's report would be more detailed and concise than any other coroner who worked for the department. 

"Both her feet had been slashed. The sole of each one has a straight line cut deeply into them.  I think that is the reason she didn't run, maybe she tried to crawl away, and he stabbed her in the back, there are two wounds there. Do you want the list of all ten now?"

Steve and Rae both nodded and so Amanda began to read from the folder that was resting on the side of the gurney. "Ok, she had, as I said two stab wounds to the back, one of them punctured a lung, the other nicked the heart, but I don't think it was the wound that killed her. She had a knife wound on her left arm as I also said; it severed the artery and went right through from the back of the arm to the front. Two wounds to the feet makes five, then there were three mainly superficial wounds to the breasts, which again would have bled, a lot, one to the right shoulder, and although we couldn't see it under all the blood yesterday, her throat had been cut."

There was silence in the lab for a few minutes as the four of them thought through the evidence. Amanda went over things in her mind, making sure that she hadn't missed anything important, Steve and Rae looked at the woman in front of them, Steve wondering what type of person could inflict that kind of damage, while Rae tried to rid herself of the image of the young woman spending her final moments on earth in abject terror. Mark was also processing the wounds, wondering which had come first, whether her throat had been cut to kill her before he mutilated her or after he had tortured her. He knew from what he had heard that there had been a lot of blood, she had to have been tortured, repressing a shudder Mark knew that they were dealing with a very dangerous adversary.

"I have the DNA of the person who had sex with her, or I will have. The tests have all been done, and once I get the results back, I will be able to match any blood samples quite quickly should you find him. Hers, too, obviously I have hers as well. There were no skin scrapings under her nails, no hair pulled out of his head, nothing to suggest, as Mark said, that she was raped, or taken further than she had wanted to go. But that's all I can offer right now."

"Her eyes, Amanda, what colour were her eyes?" It was Rae who asked the question, suddenly remembering that they needed it for their missing persons report.

"Green, almost a silvery green. I took bloods from her, and so far nothing has come back to show any hereditary problems, she wasn't pregnant, had never given birth before, didn't have any sexually transmittable diseases, nothing easy to help us identify her, and just to finish the whole thing off, she was O negative." Amanda shook her head. She knew that the information she had given them was of help, they had far more now than they'd had before, but she also knew that in this type of case sometimes the body could give up so many secrets that there was never any doubt who the murderer was. This time though, that wasn't going to happen. The information would be used to set the wheels in motion with missing persons, the pictures Amanda had taken would be attached to reports and folders, but forensically, for the time being, everything that could be done had been done.


	3. First Steps

**Chapter Three – First Steps **

The journey back to the station had been made in almost total silence, and Rae had been glad that Steve was doing the driving. If she had hoped for a few easy days before heading to Santa Barbara she knew now that she was going to be disappointed, and she guessed that Steve was feeling the same way. Texas would be heading home in two days and they had managed to get the type of case that would attract journalists like bees to honey if they weren't careful.

At his daily briefing, the media relations officer had mentioned the discovery of a young woman's body, but nothing more. Just as they'd hoped, the two line statement, put in a tiny out-of-the-way corner of the paper, had generated very little interest.

The first task when they arrived had been a cup of coffee, one of tea and a quick five minutes to gather their thoughts, but now they sat, Rae at the keyboard of her computer, and prepared to make the notes they would need for the missing persons division to begin their work.

"Ok, this is what we have, Jane Doe, very early twenties, blonde hair, green eyes …" Steve began to speak and Rae typed every word he said, but she didn't have her mind entirely on the matter at hand. She was still thinking about the new case, but as she could type missing person forms blindfolded she could also wander off into other places with ease. She thought that even though the victim had been stabbed ten times her murderer hadn't lost control, and Rae needed to talk it through with Steve. As the final words appeared on the screen in front of her she gave a sigh and her fingers rested on the keys.

They both scanned the document in silence and then Steve nodded, Rae printed it out, twice, once for each of them and sent it through the internal computer systems to the missing persons department. As they began to sort out their personal notes so that they could start the folders necessary to keep everything in order Cheryl came out of the Captain's office, noticed her two friends, and made her way towards their corner of the squad room.

"Hi, guys, I thought you were both off today."

For a second both Rae and Steve just looked at her, and then Steve spoke. "We picked up a murder last night that needed immediate attention, so here we are."

"Well, I'm just delighted that you are." Cheryl smiled. "Rae, thank you for the information on internet recruitment. I don't know if it'll help me or not, but if I ever need a new job."

"No problem, I know you'd do the same for me and, at the time, I wasn't busy, now, I'm not so sure." Rae paused for a moment her eyes scanning Cheryl's face and she could see that it was relaxed and at ease. "How's Martin?"

Martin Robertson had been friends with Rae since she had arrived in Los Angeles, and he had started going out with Cheryl almost two years ago. When the garage that Texas and Jesse had been held in exploded he had received a serious head injury, which had resulted in Martin needing extensive rehabilitation to help him cope with everyday life. Rae visited as often as she could, but since returning to work she knew that she had neglected him.

"Not too bad, but he misses you, Rae. I know you're busy, but if you could just pop in, it would mean a lot to him."

"I will either tomorrow or the next day. I could call him and let him know." Rae saw the smile on Cheryl's face and leant over to pick up her phone. Once she had dialled the number for the centre, which was attached to Community General, Rae relaxed and waited. "Oh, hi, could you put me through to Martin Robertson's room please…? Yes, I'll hold." Rae pulled a face. "Oh, yuk, Ode to Joy, I'll be humming it all day now… Hi, Martin, it's Rae."

As Rae began what would inevitably be a slow and possibly quite long call Steve and Cheryl moved a little further away so as not to eavesdrop. "Are you all right, you look like you'd rather be anyplace but here?" Cheryl looked at her former partner and friend of many years with concern.

"Yeah, in a way you're right, Jo goes away in two days and I have no idea when she'll be back, so I'd much rather be at home. This new case we picked up is nasty, we still have the Chief's sister's murder to sort out, and I think I'm getting too old for nights." Steve smiled as he finished talking.

"Ah, well, I can't do anything about the last one, but the other two, if you want me to look into any of the Master's murder let me know, and if you find yourself at a loose end while Jo's away my living room needs decorating, and Martin is thinking of taking up golf."

"Oh, ha ha," Steve's face contorted into a grimace, "I don't do decorating, and golf, well, as it's Martin, I might consider it." Steve paused for a moment, "But, thanks."

"No problem, now, I have to go see if I can get a job through an internet agency because two shop assistants, a nanny and a cleaner have been killed and they all got their jobs online. What type of store should I go for?" Cheryl smiled as she spoke and waited for Steve's answer.

"Painting and decorating?"

This time it was Cheryl's turn to pull the face and then she turned and walked back over to her own desk. Steve drank a mouthful of coffee, resisted the temptation to spit it straight back out, and went to make himself another, hopefully hot one. By the time he had done that Rae was off the phone and ready to begin work again.

"How was he? Tea?" Steve hadn't got Rae a drink and so he picked up her cup.

"About the same, and no, thanks, I don't need another one. You know I try so hard to be patient and not speak for him, but sometimes it's really difficult, I don't think I ever realised just what a great job everybody did with me when I was in a similar situation to Martin." Rae sighed and, for a moment, went back in her mind to the time when she had been attacked by an animal rights protestor. The injury had left her in a coma, and for a long while she had been unable to converse normally, or hold a conversation with anyone, but no one who was special to her had deserted her, and she had gained the friendship of Texas during that time. Rae smiled, she was very lucky that she had been partnered with Steve, everything that she had in her life right now was a result of that.

"What?" Steve could see that Rae was looking at him and wearing an expression of happiness, but he could see a little sadness there too.

"Nothing, well, not right now anyway." Rae pushed her thoughts away, reached out for the pad she always kept on her desk and grabbed a metallic red pen from her pot. She pulled the lid off it with her teeth, turned the pen round and pushed it into the top. She opened her mouth, smiled and then began to talk. "I think this was premeditated."

"Ok, why?" Steve was instantly on alert, all his thought processes concentrating on the matter at hand.

"Because, even though she was stabbed ten times, it wasn't frenzied, there seemed to be a clinical brutality about it. The wounds to the feet worry me the most. They were obviously inflicted to stop her flight, and I really think that we should hold that back from the press."

"I agree on the press thing. I'm not sure about the premeditation. They could have stopped there to have sex, and then it got out of hand, he panicked, grabbed her clothes and ran." Steve was working things out as he talked. Part of him wasn't convinced that what he was saying was necessarily true, but he needed to put it into words, if only to have it shot down in flames.

"No, if it got out of hand I would have expected her to be strangled. He had a knife that's more likely to be premeditated. Amanda didn't say anything about finding any fibres from clothes on the body; I don't think what the victim was wearing was ever on that lot… I also think he'll kill again." Rae stopped talking; she could do without the high profile cases. A couple of winos in dumpsters would do her for a while. Nobody outside the department cared if they were solved or not and, if she was honest, a bit of anonymity would suit her just fine right now.

"Yeah, me too, which means we have to run the story, if only to warn other young women to be on their guard." As Steve finished speaking the phone on Rae's desk began to ring and he leant over and picked it up. "Detective Yeager's phone … oh, hi, no, this is Lieutenant Sloan, it's a joint case, right, thank you, no, we'll go, hold on." Steve put out his left hand, took Rae's pen from her and began to write on her pad. Without a further word apart from goodbye Steve put the phone down and turned to his partner.

"We have a possible positive ID on our Jane Doe; a lady called in, her cousin didn't come home last night, we need to go see her." Steve checked his watch it was almost six in the evening, and he knew that it would be after nine before they were heading home again. Picking up the phone once more he dialled a number that they both recognised. "Michael, it's me, I'm not gonna make it for dinner tonight, but Dad's coming as planned. I won't cancel it because otherwise Jo won't get to see him before she leaves for Texas… Thank you, that's great." Steve pressed the button down to give himself a dial tone, and then handed the receiver to Rae. With a sigh she punched in the number for Oak Place and waited.

"Hi, Sweetie, it's Mummy, can I speak with Daddy please?" Steve could hear Eliana's voice as it floated across to him from the receiver, then Rae pulled a face, put the phone down, picked it back up and redialled. "Every time she answers the phone now she hangs up before she goes to get anyone, so whoever is calling has to phone again… Jess? Hi, Honey, it's me, I'm gonna be here for a while, I thought I should just let you know… Yeah, but you know what it's like, sometimes I have no choice… No, we think we have an ID on the victim in the vacant lot, I'll tell you all about it when I get home… oh, well, alright … I love you, Jesse." Rae waited for a moment and then put the phone down with a deep sigh, ran her hands through her hair and seemed to step back into police mode. "Let's go then."

"Rae?"

"Leave it, Steve, just leave it." Steve, as Rae did with him, knew when it was best to say nothing, and so with a sigh he pulled his leather jacket off the back of his chair and followed his partner towards the stairs. Rae had grabbed her purse, the pad and a couple of pens in almost one single movement and was about five or six steps ahead of him before he had even drawn breath. There was nothing for it but to make sure that he had a chance to talk with her, if only for a moment, before they got to their destination.

The journey in the car had been quiet, but for reasons Steve didn't understand it wasn't a quiet he was used to. He had travelled with Rae when she had been very upset, furiously angry, scared, badly injured, even just asleep, but this was different. In the end he couldn't stand it any longer and, realising that they were only about five minutes away from their destination, he pulled the car into the side of the residential street and switched the engine off. The rain that had begun to fall just after they had left the station soon soaked the window and, as he turned to look at his friend, he could see she was watching the raindrops make their way down the windshield.

"Rae, what's the matter?"

Rae turned to face her partner. She knew if she didn't at least tell him some of what was troubling her it would be going round and round her mind as she was supposed to be interviewing and she couldn't let that happen. "I don't know. I spoke with Jesse, just as you did with Texas, to tell him I would be late, and he just wasn't interested. No, that's wrong, he wanted to be interested, but I got the feeling that however hard he tried he couldn't join me in my world."

"As if he is slightly out of time to the rest of us?"

"Maybe… It's so hard to describe accurately because if I think about it for too long I can just as easily convince myself that there is nothing the matter and I'm being paranoid because he starts back to work on Monday. That could be the case couldn't it?  I know he's worried about it, I am too, and if I follow that train of thought then I'm sure there's nothing wrong that isn't perfectly normal."

Steve smiled at her. "If it helps any I feel the same. I can look at things one way and think that Jesse has been avoiding me, that he deliberately stays away from any situation where lots of people are involved, but if I turn it around I know that I'm busy, he's on medical leave and so hasn't been at Community General when I have, or Bob's, and we're neighbours, everybody knows you can go months without even speaking to your neighbours."

Rae nodded her head. "Thank you. I guess I'm just doing what Jesse did to me, wanting to over protect him, seeing strangers and dangers behind every tree." Rae paused for a moment. "While we're stationary, should we go over what we're going to say to this young woman?"

"That sounds like a good idea to me." Steve pulled a notebook out of his pocket and, as the rain continued to beat on the roof, an altogether different type of silence descended on the inside of the car.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jesse had put the phone down from speaking with Rae and returned to the morning room. It was seven o'clock and his daughters were already in bed, Rae was going to be late home, and he was worried to find that he had no idea how he felt about that or what he was going to do until she arrived. It was as if his life was running out of control, and he had absolutely no idea how to apply the brakes, but in another way everything was in slow motion, and so he didn't need brakes so much as a kick up the butt.

Jesse looked down at his arm and could see the marks around his skin grafts. He had to admit that it was healing nicely, and Doctor South hoped that eventually they would merge in with the rest of his forearm. With a sigh Jesse leant forward and picked up the can of beer that was resting on the table, he took a long drink before replacing it on the small coaster that was waiting for it. He was so desperately tired; he felt that any minute he could fall asleep and not wake up for a week, but he also knew that there was no chance of that happening. 

The ordeal that he'd gone through had, just as he'd known it would, taken its toll on him. First of all he'd been delighted to be home, even though his leg ached from the crush injuries he had received, his arm hurt and itched, and his brain screamed out to him that he should be dead. But gradually the feelings had begun to change. 

Jesse knew he should be grateful that everything had turned out all right in the end. Jo and he had been found, they had both survived, although one FBI agent hadn't been so lucky. He had known the whole time he was in the garage that Rae would come for him, and in the end he had seen her looking down at him, compassion in her beautiful brown eyes and he had felt peace. But now he knew that something else was watching him other than her eyes, something was just waiting for him to slip up, to rejoin the human race and then it would destroy him. The trouble was he had no idea what. With a start Jesse came out of his thoughts as the sound of Anneya's cries suddenly seemed to explode from the baby monitor. Jesse checked his watch as he rose from his seat and was amazed to see that it was almost half past eight, where had the time gone?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Alice Palmerton was, Steve thought, in her middle to late twenties, she had red wavy hair to her shoulders some of which was pulled back into two bands on each side of her head and then twisted into a knot of some kind. She was almost as tall as he was, probably about six foot he guessed, and dressed in a pair of blue jeans with stars on them and a t-shirt with _Angel_ written on the front. They seemed to eye each other up for a moment, the cops and the nervous citizen, and then Steve showed her his badge, "I'm Lieutenant Steve Sloan, LAPD, and this is Detective Rae Yeager, you called us," and she sighed.

"Hi, I'm sorry, but there have been a few very strange guys around here lately. Won't you come in?" She stepped back from the doorway as Rae and then Steve entered a very tiny, but crowded hallway. "I guess the kitchen is the best place to sit, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." Rae smiled and followed the obviously nervous and worried young woman just in front of her. The hall opened out onto a large and airy kitchen, which had white cabinets, walls and floor, the counters though were black and spotless.

"Would you like to sit down?" Alice indicated a large stripped pine table with six high backed chairs around it. Steve waited while both his partner and his host made themselves comfortable and then he too sat.

"You called in the fact that your cousin didn't come home last night, does she live here with you?" Rae, as was the norm in these situations, began the questioning.

"Yes, we inherited the house from our grandmother, and as we have always got along really well decided that instead of selling it, which I think was what Grandma thought we would do, we'd live here. Jenna went to a club the other night, but she said she would be back, and she wasn't. She … she's never done that before, and I didn't know what to do. I … I thought maybe she met someone, y'know." Alice waited for confirmation, and when both Rae and Steve nodded their heads she continued. "I called her at work but she wasn't there and I got worried, and then she wasn't here when I got home, well …"

"You called, 911?" Rae smiled.

"Yeah, I hope that was ok."

"Of course, it's what we're here for. You said your cousin is called Jenna? Do you have a picture of her?" Steve's voice was a little lower than usual, he knew that the woman was very uneasy.

The girl nodded her head; got to her feet and disappeared through the door at the end of the room. Before either Steve or Rae could say anything she was back, and Rae's heart sank as she was handed a photo of a very beautiful girl whom she had last seen on a slab in Amanda's morgue.

"She's lovely isn't she?" There was no jealousy in Alice's voice, just an acceptance of fact. "She got her mom's beauty; all I got was my dad's hair and height.

"Alice, do you have anyone else around here that could come stay with you?" Rae's voice had changed, and she knew that what she was saying would forewarn the young woman that bad news was to follow.

"No … no, we come from out of town, why … why do I need someone to stay with me?" There were tears on her cheeks now and Alice scrubbed at them, but they carried on falling.

"Jenna was found on Friday morning, she was dead I'm afraid." Rae stopped talking. She knew from bitter experience that very little useful information was gained once a relative knew about a death, and so she quietly got to her feet and began to fill the kettle so that she could make a drink for them all.

For a while there was no sound but that of sobbing as Alice tried to take in the news that her cousin, friend and housemate had died. Rae found some tea in a cupboard and made a cup of it, hot, strong and sweet. Then she put it down in front of the distraught girl.

"Thank … th … thank you. Have … you got one?" She saw Rae nod and then she was lost to them again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mark, Jo, Michael and Daniel had finished a very pleasant meal and, following on from the success the previous night, were now sitting with the dominoes set out in front of them. It was clear that Mark had played many times in the past and so far no one else had gotten a look in.

"Are you sure you haven't played this for years, Grandpa, because you seem real good at it?" Daniel knocked his fist on the table as; once again, he was unable to go.

"You know I can't remember the last time I sat doing this, but it is fun. Oh, Jo, Honey, can't you go either?" With a smile Mark put down a double blank. He knew that he was in a very strong position once again, and so with a little self satisfied smile he waited for the Englishman to have his turn.

"I regret, Sir, Madam, that I too am unable to proceed." Michael very carefully banged his hand on the table and Mark grinned. Nobody but himself was able to go, and he only had one tile left. With a flourish he put down a blank paired with a six and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"Daniel, I think that it is time for you to be gettin' ready for bed, an' make sure that you have a path from the door to the window an' back please." Jo looked at her foster son. He was a constant joy to her and she was going to miss him terribly when she flew to Texas on Monday. It had been arranged that she would wait until he had left for school, but by the time he got home she would still be in the air, and so as soon as she landed Jo had promised to call him.

With a shrug Daniel got to his feet. He knew that there was no point in trying to argue his way to a few more minutes downstairs because his mom had already told him that she needed to talk with his grandpa and he should do just as she told him. 

"Good night, Daniel, and remember, Son, while your mom is away you are always welcome at the beach house, your dad too." Mark smiled and was pleased to see that his grandson did the same thing.

"I will. Thankfully, M will be here to do the cooking, otherwise I may have just moved in until Mom got back." With a laugh the boy wandered out into the hallway and up the stairs, his music blared for a while and then was shut off. It didn't mean that he was asleep, or planning to be that way soon, just that he had his headphones on, and was totally oblivious to the rest of the world.

Jo and Mark had listened with expressions of love on their faces until the music stopped and then almost simultaneously they turned to each other. "I think you want to speak with me don't you?" Mark could tell that Jo had things on her mind, and he wanted to help if he could.

"Yeah, I guess it is pretty obvious, huh? Mark, I'm still not sure I'm doing the right thing by goin' to Texas an' maybe stirrin' things up that are better left untouched." Jo had shown her father-in-law the letters that her grandmamma had left for her. It had been the opinion of Florence Walters that her son and daughter-in-law had been dead before the fire which destroyed their home and left two small children without parents. Jo had been completely unaware of this until she had finally ventured into the attic to begin clearing it. Before Steve came into her life Jo hadn't seen any point in turning the house into a home. It was still very much her grandmamma's house, but they were gradually changing things, and the first thing she had done once married and mistress of the house had been sort through some of the packing cases and boxes in the attic. There had been a suitcase that was addressed to her, and inside it had been an envelope which had contained the key to the East Wing. Rae and Jesse had found another envelope attached to the back of the dressing table in their bedroom at Oak Place, the house they rented from Jo. 

The picture of Florence Walters which was over one of the huge majestic fireplaces in the library seemed to look down disapprovingly at Jo now. She felt that she was letting the woman down by not rushing straight to her old home to begin investigating the crime the woman had been sure had been committed.

"I know you don't want to go and leave Steve and Daniel behind, but I also know that you want to do what your grandmamma asked of you. Have you no idea why she thinks they were murdered?"

"No, none at all, an' I guess I don't really even know that she thought they were murdered. She said that she had always thought they were dead before the fire started. It could have still been natural causes couldn't it?"

"I don't think so, Honey, and if you're honest, I don't think you are seriously considering it either."

Jo smiled, "You know me too well. So, what do you think I should be lookin' for?"

"Well, I would go to the hall of records, see what you can find out there first. Try to see if there are any files on your parents, either before or after their death, whether you have access to them, things like that. I guess that the fire-fighters who fought the blaze will still be alive, it was only what twenty-five years ago or so? You could try to look up some of them."

"Yeah, I could, an' the cops too. I still know some people at the local station, so that might be a good place to start." Jo smiled and reached over to hug the older man sitting next to her. "Thank you, Mark, I knew you would help me. I am just gonna miss you all while I'm away." For a moment Jo was silent. "You know, before I met Steve I missed Texas so much, but I never felt I could go back, because of things that had happened, but now, even though I want to take everybody with me, I realise that the past can't hurt me, I can go an' investigate it, or not, as I choose, an' my life will still be here waitin' for me when I get back. That is a wonderful thing to know." Jo's words were full of hope as was her face as Mark took her into a bear hug.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had taken Alice over a half hour to calm down enough for Rae to begin talking with her once more. "Do I need to go and identify her … her…?" Alice stopped talking; somehow she couldn't continue and say the next word. Rae smiled, and the young woman got confidence from it.

"No, we can show you a photo or, if you really want to go see her, then we can arrange that too."

"Have you got the picture with you?" She saw both detectives nod their heads and so Alice squared her shoulders. "If it was the other way round I know she would be able to do this right away."

"Everybody is different, you may never be able to look at her body, there is no rule about this, and no one is gonna think badly of you if you can only deal with the photo." Steve spoke for the first time in a while, and the words seemed to surprise Alice.

"Oh, yes, yes, I think I can cope with the picture." Steve took the photo that they had brought with them out of the folder and saw that Alice's hands were gripping the edge of the table and her knuckles were white. He also noticed that her breathing was coming quickly and watched as Rae moved a little closer to her. Steve put the picture on the table, face down.

"When you're ready to look we'll look, ok? If you don't think you can do it we'll wait a little while, but we need a positive ID, and if you really can't then maybe you can let us have the name and address of her mom and dad and we'll get them to do it." Rae was speaking quietly and gently, but her words had the desired effect.

"No, no, they shouldn't have to do that, I'll do this, it'll be one of the last things I can do for her." Alice swallowed down her doubts and her tears, took a deep breath, reached out picked up the picture and turned it over. The gasp told them what they needed to know, but Steve still asked her the question he had to have an answer to.

"Do you recognise the woman in the photo?"

"Yes, yes I do. It's my cousin, Jenna Rebecca Palmerton."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Matthew woke up with a start and took in the scene around him. It was mid evening, and the rain was beating on the window. He looked down at himself and saw the blood that covered his body, not again, where had it come from? Shaking almost uncontrollably, he got off his bed, stripped the linen off it and then headed for the shower. Dominic would be cross with him for messing up the sheets again, but it wasn't him, he just knew it wasn't. As the water pounded his back he tried to think back to the last thing he remembered. Dominic had wanted to go to a club, Matthew hated clubs, but he had agreed to go for a little while. Somehow he was there first, he was always there before Dominic, but as soon as Dom had arrived he'd disappeared. Getting out of the shower he padded across to his bedroom, it was a permanent dump, and Dominic wouldn't even come into it. Feeling brave Matthew turned and went to one of the other two bedroom doors and carefully opened it. Dominic's room was spotless, the double bed neatly made, with a dark silver-grey cover on it. The furniture was Japanese in design and there was a paper room divider which hid his computer equipment from Matthew's prying eyes. 

For a moment Matthew just stood there, he would love to have a room like this, but Dominic worked and he didn't, so he guessed that he would always be able to afford the expensive things, while poor old Matt got the hand-me-downs. He turned, ready to go back into his own room, and for a minute his eyes lingered on the third bedroom door. Matthew had never been in there, and had no intention of starting now. When Dominic had a job in New York there had been a third bedroom that neither of them were allowed in, and it was the same here. For some reason though today he was feeling brave, _or incredibly stupid_ and he walked over and just touched the door knob.

"Matthew!" Dominic was suddenly there, he must have gone into the shower straight after Matt. He turned without another word and disappeared and Matthew hurried into his own shabby, grubby little room and sank down on the unmade bed. He had a feeling that things were running out of control again, and he hated it when that happened. The third room, he was sure it had to do with the third room, and if that was the case control was something in very short supply.


	4. Revelations

**Chapter Four Revelations**

Steve and Rae had both been determined to get the weekend off that they were entitled to, and so had worked late into the night on the Friday in order to have no guilt pangs about putting their workload to the back of their minds until Monday.

Jo and Steve had managed to have a chat on the Friday evening and now, the next morning, they were sat at the breakfast table explaining things to Daniel. The discussion the previous night had been difficult, but in the end they had sorted things out.

_"Jo, Honey, we need to talk about Daniel and his trip." Steve had been sat up in bed a calculator and white lined tablet resting on his knees and a pencil behind his ear._

_"We do? What now? Can't it wait until the weekend?" Jo had been brushing her hair and Steve had watched as she played the brush over the white streak which was gradually getting longer and merging in with the other strands. It would be a while until it was long enough to do anything with, and unless she decided to dye it, Steve knew it would always remind them of her ordeal._

_"It is the weekend, and you need to get packed; besides I worked some of it out in my mind on the way home, I just want to discuss it with you."_

_Jo had got up and walked suggestively across the room. She had on a very pale pink silk shirt which finished just below her panties and Steve felt himself waiver. "An' there is nothin' else you would like to be doin' instead?"_

_"There are plenty of things I would like to be doing instead, but this needs to be discussed before you leave." _

_"Why, Lieutenant, an' I was even gonna suggest you bring your cuffs home to play with!"_

_"Jo, stop it!" Steve tried to be stern, but he knew he was failing miserably. "I do bring them home, but I'll just attach you to the bedpost and then talk to you."_

_"Meany." Jo sat on the bed with her back to him. "Go on then, I'm listenin'."_

_Steve leant over and kissed her gently on the neck. "I was going to offer … to pay for Daniel's … keep myself … but I guess … I'll just keep on … spending it … on wine, women … and song!" Steve left one last kiss on Jo's neck and then moved away. He had felt her shiver under his touch, and he knew that the discussion could be really short if he wasn't careful._

_"Why do you want to do that?" Jo turned round, her interest obviously piqued and she moved under the covers and tried to look at his notes._

_"Jo, Honey, I don't want to hurt your feelings, and I think that however I say this I will, so just let me talk ok?" Steve was glad now that he hadn't let his passion overwhelm him, he needed to say this, probably had needed to say it since their marriage, and now he had his chance._

_"Most newly-wed couples have to budget their money, make cuts here and there so that they can pay their bills, their rent, eat now and then, but we aren't most newly-wed couples. I have a well-paid job, my own place, even a share in my own business; unless I get some seriously unsavoury habits I am never gonna be short of money, but its small change compared to what you have, what you earn in interest every day, and I guess I feel … threatened by that."_

_"Why? Darlin' I can't change who I am or what I have, just like you can't change yourself. You are a cop, always will be, an' I am learnin to live with that. I am a wealthy woman, I could offer to give it up, just like you would have, but I don't think it would be possible." Jo had paused for a moment, almost as if, Steve had thought later, she was actually considering it. "I have money in so many places, an' trust funds, reserves here there an' everywhere, that there is no way I could get rid of it all. But I try not to flaunt it, I'm sorry if I'm not bein' very successful at that."_

_"Jo, listen to me, ok?"__ Steve had placed a finger under her chin and lifted her beautiful face up so that she was looking at him. He saw a small nod and so continued talking. "I'm not asking you to give it up, I'm not saying that you rub my nose in your wealth because you don't, and you never have, what I am saying is that I need to feel I am contributing to the financial side of our relationship."_

_"An' you want to pay for Daniel?" Jo looked a little confused, and then even more so when Steve laughed at her._

_"Well, yeah, I guess, if you want to put it that way, although you make him sound like a utility bill. He has school trips to go on, he needs clothes, shoes, things that shouldn't have to come out of his allowance, things he shouldn't have to pay for himself … I'd like to pay for them. And when we adopt him, when he is really our son, well then, I'd like to start a savings plan for him, so that when he gets married, or wants a place of his own he has the money to do that." Steve finished talking and looked at his wife and he saw that some of what he said wasn't necessary. "He won't need money when he gets married will he?"_

_"No, darlin' he won't. I don't know the legalities of it all yet, an' I need to talk with David, especially now Miss Prissy Knickers is **with child,**__but he will become the heir to some serious money when all the formalities are through with. If we have a child of our own then I think that Daniel will become a slightly lesser heir, if you see what I mean, but there is no way that Deb's child is gonna take what is Daniel's by right."_

_"Whoah, just for a minute, slow down, I'm talking about a school trip and a teenage boy's allowance, and now you have him inheriting the company? Jo, Honey, I have to say I think David and Debs will fight you all the way, and if the tables were turned I think you would be doing the same thing."_

_"Are you sayin' that he shouldn't inherit some of what is mine to give him? I could fall pregnant tonight, have a baby in nine months an' he or she be a complete wastrel, never lift a finger in his or her life, an' suddenly when we pass on find that all the money they had ever dreamed about was right there for the takin'. Daniel had no idea what kind of life we led, how much money we had. He came here because we offered him a better life than juvie, an' we knew Alex. If I didn't think he was gonna turn into an asset for Walters Oil, I wouldn't consider what I'm … considerin'… What?"_

_"I love it when you get passionate about something … come here." He had begun to kiss her then, running his fingers through her hair, feeling the heat of her through the silk of the night shirt. The calculator and pad fell to the floor, and he shivered at the sensation of Jo's hand as she removed the pencil that was in the way of her gently probing fingers._

_"Mmm, this is better … if you show me your figures I'll show you mine!" Jo began to kiss him and moved her hands down onto his back, and he felt her kneading his muscles and he groaned. _

_"Oh, God, Jo, let me finish … mmmm, that is so good." Steve had rolled onto his stomach then and felt Jo's legs as she straddled him and began to massage him properly._

_"I agree, you pay for Daniel, but you tell him, explain it all, now, shush, lie still an' enjoy."_

_Steve had just smiled, he knew he didn't need to say anything more, and the conversation had soon become forgotten as he surrendered himself to her, just as, in the end, he always did. _

"Daniel, your dad has some things that he needs to discuss with you." Jo smiled across at Steve and he jolted back to reality.

"Um, yeah, that's right … We need to talk with you about your trip to San Fran." Steve had finished his third piece of toast and for a moment he looked round, wondering where the rest had gone, and then he remembered that he was waiting for some more to be put on the table.

"I know, chores, chores, and then, just for a change, some more chores. I called Jesse yesterday; he said that he would find me something." Daniel looked at his dad with a smile, hoping he would appreciate that he really was trying.

"Good for you. Well, anything that you earn outside of this house can be spending money then, because the rest of it will be taken care of, as long as you fulfil your end of the bargain." Steve returned the smile; he was impressed with Daniel's initiative, and well remembered his time cleaning cars and driveways to earn as much cash as he could, especially around the time of his summer breaks.

"So, what did you want to say about it? I know it's an expensive trip, I really won't go if you don't want me to." Daniel hoped his words sounded sincere, even though they weren't.

"Daniel, Honey, you know you don't mean a word of it, so don't go makin' promises you can't keep." Jo managed to keep the chuckle she felt threatening down in her throat as she spoke.

"Daniel, we know you want to go and we have no problem with that." Steve told him. "We also know you're aware you've joined a very wealthy family, so have I, and trust me it feels really weird. Sometimes I think it always will. But your mom and me, we both appreciate that you ask for very little, always earn your allowance, and try to keep your things in good condition. That hasn't gone unnoticed."

Steve paused for a moment, feeling a little unsure of how to continue, but then he saw the way his son looked so proud at what he had said, how he had smiled in a delighted way, and he found his voice once more. "I spoke to your mom and we've decided that I'll be responsible for your every day expenses. Clothes, sneakers, any additional books for school, trips, things like that, oh, and your allowance once the adoption process has finished."

"So, when I need anything I come to you?" Daniel had a feeling that he might have a problem getting the few extra dollars now and then that he got from his mom. "Why can't I just go to Mom, like I always do? She's home when you aren't, and I'm bound to want something when you're on nights or whatever."

"Ok, let me explain this. You know that the money is your mom's. It's not mine, I married into it, and you … I don't know, fostered into it, I guess.  But yeah, when you need anything, come to me, if you want something that's different. You will still have your allowance, and when you are our son, legally our son, then we'll arrange pocket money for you, probably about the same as you're getting now, ok?" Steve saw Daniel nod his head and begin to speak.

"And if I want something, and I'm a little … strapped for cash?"

Steve smiled again, "I just happen to have about my person …" With a flourish Steve pulled out a piece of paper from behind him. "I have worked out a chart, it shows how much I'll pay for each chore, that way there will be no argument when it comes to payday." Steve handed over a sheet of paper that he had printed out and laminated.

Daniel looked down it, and when he got to the bottom of it he let out a laugh. "Oh, you're kidding me." Jo and Steve smiled at each other. Most of the chores on the list would earn Daniel a couple of dollars, maybe five if he was lucky, but if he cleaned the pool he would get twenty dollars. "I guess I'd better go and get the gear." With a deep sigh the young man stood up, looked down at his clothes and sighed again. "And get changed too."

Jo and Steve watched him go and then Jo moved over and stood by the French doors and looked out at her garden. She felt Steve come and stand behind her with his hands on her shoulders and, as she intertwined her fingers with those of her husband, Jo began to speak. "I talked with your daddy the other night, an' he gave me a few pointers as to where I should start with my search."

"And I'll bet he was just delighted to help you out, but, ex-detective Walters, I'm betting you still know just how to run this type of investigation." Steve smiled and kissed her gently in her hair.

For a moment Jo enjoyed the sensation but then she spoke again. "I've looked up a few things on the internet, but I don't think there is anyway to avoid goin' all the way to Texas, at least initially."

"I know, and I also know you have to do this. Jo, if I was in your position I would be going, just … just don't stay away too long." Steve ran his finger down the side of her face, and then rested his hand on her cheek and watched as she turned slightly and laid her head against his chest. "If I can get away I'll come down, I promise, but it's gonna be hard, I have a bad feeling about the body we found on that bit of waste ground, and working with the Chief isn't a breeze either."

"Honey, you know that he chose you an' Rae specially."

"No, he chose Rae specially; I'm just going along for the ride."

"So, let her take the heat, she likes the man, though I have no idea why, he seems a cold fish to me, an' Rae is just so warm an' friendly."

"Well, I've never known the Chief to be friendly with anyone, but with Rae, there seems to be something different. She worked for him for a few weeks, when she was hurt, but even before that they had a … a relationship I guess, and he doesn't have that with any other cop on the force, as far as I know."

"A relationship? You're not sayin' that he an' Rae…" Jo realised it sounded silly, but she had to ask.

"No! Not that kind of relationship, they're, well, I think they're friends." Steve kissed Jo's hair, and wound his fingers in it. "I don't want to talk about him, not on my day off. I would much rather do something nice with you."

Jo looked up at him. "We could go to the glade. Michael will look after Daniel, an' we haven't been there for the longest time." Jo could see that the suggestion was a welcome one, and hand in hand they left the breakfast room to find the butler and tell him of their plans.

Rae and Jesse hadn't slept in the same room for almost six weeks. When Jesse first came home from the hospital Rae had made him up a bed in the breakfast room, but apart from the first night he had been, at his request, alone. The comfort Rae had provided him with initially had disappeared almost immediately. He felt hemmed in, claustrophobic, if she came near him, and all he wanted was the bed, the room, even the floor to himself. He hadn't told her that of course, but the excuse that he was having trouble sleeping and would read until the small hours of the morning had been accepted without an argument, although Rae had insisted the baby monitor was plugged in by the bed, just in case he needed her. 

Now though, he was back upstairs, but still he couldn't even consider sharing a bed with anyone, and so they were in separate rooms. The week of nights had meant sleeping together hadn't been an issue, but he knew he needed another reason not to sleep with his wife, and Jesse had been trying to work one out all day on the Friday.

The girls had gone to Sally's for the afternoon, so that they could get used to being with her again before they started back into the normal routine on the Monday. Jesse had been thankful for that because what had happened to him just after lunch had scared the hell out of him, and he wasn't sure how he would have coped if Eliana and Anneya had been there. Right now though Rae was sleeping late, she rarely got a Saturday and Sunday off together, and he didn't want to disturb her. The girls were sitting at the breakfast table eating their toast soldiers and so he was able to let his mind wander back to the previous day.

_Jesse had been looking for a letter from a drug company he'd undertaken some trials for in the past. They had written to him asking whether he would be interested in doing so again and, now that work was looming, Jesse realised that he should at least answer their letter. As he rummaged through the drawer under the telephone table Jesse saw a cardboard box on the floor by the backboard, crouched down to pick it up, and as he did so he was back in the garage._

_"So, Travis, how do you like your accommodations?"_

_The voice had sounded so real, the words exactly as he had heard them when he was in the lock up. And before, he'd heard them before that too, when he'd been in danger another time, but he couldn't remember when._

The flashback had been over in seconds, but it had left him weak and gasping for air. The panicky feelings it had evoked had taken much longer to dissipate than the memory had. He'd made his way, very shakily, into the breakfast room and collapsed onto the sofa. His breathing had still been erratic, and he couldn't focus on the world around him. Keeping his eyes tightly closed Jesse had tried to picture happy things, his daughters, the surf when it was high, the sun as it disappeared behind the horizon in a blaze of orange, red and gold. First of all he had thought it wasn't going to work, but gradually he had felt himself begin to come back to the real world, but then he'd wondered whether it was such a great place to be, and that had scared him too.

He had gone back and found the cardboard box, trying to work out why it had caused the flashback. It was the outer wrapping for a set of six gauze wraps, and Jesse had a vague memory of talking about why the ones in his medical bag were just in plastic, but he couldn't remember when it had happened.

"Jesse?" Rae's voice cut into his thoughts and he jumped. "Honey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but the girls have finished breakfast and I think they want to get down." Rae had enjoyed the luxury of waking without an alarm clock ringing in her ear, and now she was looking forward to a weekend with her family.

Jesse looked over to where his daughters were sitting and saw that the toast had all disappeared, drink had been spilt on the table and both plastic plates were on the floor. "I guess they've been waiting for me, huh?"

"I would say so." Rae rested her hand lightly on her husband's shoulder and felt him stiffen. She kept it there, and gradually he relaxed a little, but Rae could tell he wasn't happy about the physical contact. "It's a lovely day outside, why don't we put them in the play area and then we can talk."

"What about?" Jesse felt himself go instantly on the defensive, but he forcefully shrugged it off. He needed to talk with her too, and however much he kept himself to himself, some of the time he missed and wanted her company. Now she was here, how could he push her away?

"Well, for one thing I'm going to be out of town for two days from Monday, you are going back to work, and for another, we have hardly seen each other for a week, I miss you."

Jesse had forced a smile to his lips, but he didn't reply to her, even though he knew she wanted him to. Instead he got up, took Anneya out of her high chair and watched as Rae cleaned Eliana's face of butter and jelly before heading towards the sunshine.

Once the two little girls had been smeared with sun cream, had hats on their heads and drinks put within their grasp Rae and Jesse sat on the bench inside the confines of the playground and Rae rested her hand over that of her husband.

"Rae, don't." Jesse hadn't meant to sound harsh, but he knew his words had come out that way.

"Jesse, Honey, why won't you let me touch you? I can't kiss you, hug you, in fact I think that you would rather I didn't come anywhere near you… Don't you love me anymore?"

The pause was too long, Jesse knew it. What he didn't know was what to say. "Rae … I do, but it's hard, y'know? Somehow my feelings are all mixed up. I've told Lauren about it, she says it will get better … I'm sorry." 

Lauren Yung was the counsellor that both Rae and Jesse had seen over the past couple of years. Rae used to see a man called Brian Dobson, but when he retired she had been referred to Lauren. To her surprise Jesse found her easy to talk to as well, and had visited her a few times. Now though it was a regular occurrence, once a week on a Monday, but that was all Rae knew. She had no idea what they talked about, how long it would go on for, or even if Jesse felt like he was making progress, in fact until that very moment Jesse had never mentioned it before.

"Rae, I don't know what to say to you, all I am doing is trying to get my life back together, and you are rushing me to be just like I used to be. I don't think I'm doing too bad, but you want me to be all 'huggy and kissy' all the time, I never was like that, so why should I suddenly be that way now? All I need is some time, time just for me." Jesse stood up, he needed to move away a little, get some air around him, that way he could think.

Rae didn't know what to say, he had been through a terrible ordeal, maybe he did just needed some time to himself like he said. "Do you want me to leave? I can take the girls and find a place in town. It doesn't have to be for long, just until you feel a little stronger…" Rae closed her eyes for a moment to try to keep the tears in. "Jesse, I love you, I always will, but if it's easier for you if I go then I'll pack up some clothes for the three of us, and stay at the beach house until I find someplace else. I … I don't want to make your recovery any harder for you than it already is."

Jesse turned, he couldn't tell her how his load seemed to lift when she offered to move out, couldn't tell her that he had no idea why, or whether he would ever feel ready to let her back into his life. "No, I can stay at the beach house, I travel as one, it would be better if you stayed here, better for the girls too. Rae, I'm sorry." 

Jesse watched as Rae got to her feet, "I need some breakfast, we can talk again later," then as he made no attempt to say anything further she made her way into the house and Jesse wondered whether they would ever be a couple again and for a moment his heart ached.

By Monday at ten both Steve and Rae were in the squad room. There was an overnight bag by the side of Rae's desk which Steve kicked as he moved across towards her.

"Hey, watch it; I'm very attached to that Gladstone bag." Rae's temper flared for a moment and then was gone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see it, a what?" Steve looked down at the bag which looked as if it was made of a dark cream patterned material of some sort.

"Gladstone bag, named after a prime minister if I remember my history correctly." Rae voice was tense, and then she picked up her tea and took a drink from it.

"Rae? Is there something wrong, are you ok to be going with the Chief?"

"I'm fine, Steve, just fine." To Rae's relief Jesse had decided against moving out of the house, and he had made an effort to join in with the activities that the rest of his family had done over the weekend. It hadn't been a laugh a minute, but Rae was heartened by the fact that he seemed to enjoy himself, and if he wasn't up for hugs and kisses right now, then that was ok too, she loved him and would just wait until he was. 

"How many people know you're going with Masters?" Steve realised that his tone wasn't very respectful, and he lowered his eyes.

"Not many, why?" Rae looked confused for a minute but then the realisation of what Steve meant hit her. "Oh, God, no, you don't think…? Oh, that is just gross. The man is old enough to be my father." Rae looked grey for a moment and Steve, concerned, put his arm on her shoulder.

"Hey, relax, I haven't told anyone, I'm sure he hasn't, so, unless you made an announcement from dispatch, your secret is safe."

"WE DON'T HAVE… we don't have a secret." Rae lowered her voice as she saw a few heads turn in her direction. As she did so her desk phone rang and she leant over and picked it up. "Detective Yeager … hi, Margaret … yes, I'm ready, I'll be right there… gee, thanks, bye." Rae put the receiver back down, picked up the attaché case that she had put her laptop, which contained all the information she figured she would need in Santa Barbara, in and smiled at her partner. "Well, have fun without me; I'll be back on Wednesday, about lunchtime I would guess. If you need me call, I'll have my cell on me all the time, and I may well be glad of the chance for some relaxed conversation."

"Don't give me that, Detective, I know you like the man." Steve smiled as he spoke.

"Yeah, I do, he's a nice guy, a little off, but nice all the same. I wouldn't want his job for all the tea in China, I know he is way to political for you, but I think that makes him more aware of the outside world, he sees the broader picture, and he must be doing something right, he still has a job that not many men have held on to for as long as he has."

"Mmmm, well once you have gotten all your fawning out of the way, can you manage by yourself or should I help you?"

Rae picked up the bag and the case and stuck her tongue out at her partner. "You'll miss me when I'm gone, see you Wednesday." With that Rae made her way through the door and out of sight.

Steve had watched Rae leave the squad room and for a moment he felt incredibly lonely. Jo had left that morning for the airport, she planned to drop Daniel at school and then carry straight on to her plane. Their goodbye had been a little tearful, but full of promises.

_"I will call you every night, an' if you aren't home yet then I will just keep callin' until you are." Jo had pulled him towards her and begun to kiss him, and after a while Steve pulled back._

_"I'll keep the phone by the bed and I might even force myself to call you before I go to sleep for a goodnight kiss."_

_"Hey, Cowboy, what makes you think I'm gonna be waitin' for you all night?" Jo had smiled at him before pulling him closer again._

_"And what makes you think I want to kiss you right now?" Steve had taken a step back and looked into her eyes._

_"Oh, I don't think, I know." She had run her hands up and into his hair then and he'd known he was lost and the kiss had become a declaration of how much they loved each other, and how much they were going to miss being together._

Steve shook himself out of his very pleasant trip into his recent memories and, hoping no-one had noticed he'd been daydreaming, went to get himself a coffee.

There was a message on his desk from Amanda saying that the complete autopsy report on Jenna Palmerton would be with him by lunchtime, she had also reported that Paul Green, who, Steve realised after a moment or two of deep though, had been the man in the car holding up traffic the other evening, had died as a result of a wasp sting. A small pile of mail and a note from Cheryl was also waiting for him, but none of it was earth shattering, and so he decided to finish his coffee and tackle some of his paperwork before moving on to the more interesting parts of his day.

The first person that Jesse saw as he entered the ER of Community General was Shannon. She smiled at him but was aware enough to keep her distance and let him come to her.

"Hi, Shannon, have you heard from Alex?" Jesse appreciated the nurse's actions, and moved a little closer than he otherwise would have done. He hadn't seen Alex's girlfriend at all while he had been in the hospital, and somehow that made her easier to talk to.

"Yeah." She checked her watch, "he should be on his way now. His mom's been home a few days, he's happy that she's ok alone, and I know he wants to be back here."

"Good, well, I guess I'd better go and sign in and get the old white coat back on. Page me if you need me."

"Yes, Doctor."

Jesse smiled a broad smile; he had missed being called that.

The journey to Santa Barbara had taken just over two hours, most of it in a comfortable silence. Rae had been thinking over her weekend, and realised that she really had had a good time, and she knew that Jesse had too. She needed to remember that he had been through a very traumatic experience; it was only natural that normal life would be a little difficult at times. 

Her thoughts had travelled on to the case at hand, and she had gone over the information that she had so far. Elizabeth Masters had been shot, fatally, in the elevator of a bank building. There had seemed to be absolutely no connection between the place of death and the victim and although she hadn't been involved in that search she trusted both Steve and Cheryl and knew that everything available would have been found.

Since then Rae had been going over financial records, any personal details that she could find, but the woman had been almost as obsessively secret about her life as her brother was. Rae had visited the house in Santa Barbara herself, gained a little more insight into Elizabeth and, although she had divulged none of it, her boss too.

All the pictures in the house had been of either Elizabeth with her brother or just her or her brother alone. They had seemed happy and comfortable together, and Rae had been pleased to see that there were times in the Chief's life when he had relaxed and enjoyed himself.

The car drew up outside the Travelodge where Rae had booked herself a room. She made sure that she had her key, and that there would be no problem getting in late at night, then she put her Gladstone bag in the closet, made sure the bed was comfy and had fresh linen, used the bathroom and returned to the Chief's car.

"You know, these places aren't bad, I don't stay in them very much, but they are always clean, tidy and compact." Rae strapped herself back in as she spoke, and the car drew away from the kerb.

Ten minutes later they were outside the Spanish style house that Elizabeth Masters had called home her whole adult life as far as Rae had been able to find out. As they walked up the driveway after parking the car the door opened on the neighbouring house and a lady came out and up to them.

"John, how are you? I was so sorry not to get a chance to speak with you at the funeral, but I wanted you to know how sad I feel about what happened. Elizabeth was a lovely lady, we will all miss her."

"Thank you, Mariana, thank you." The Chief saw his neighbour, her eyes on stalks, looking his companion up and down. "This is Detective Reagan Yeager, she is investigating the … the case. Detective, this is Mrs Ortega."

Rae, sensing her boss's distress moved slightly in front of him, extending her hand as she did so.

"Ma'am, I don't think I saw you the last time I was up here. I hope we won't disturb you." Rae searched for something to say to give the Chief a chance to either compose himself, or go into the house. "You live in a very beautiful city."

It appeared to be the thing to mention. "We do, I have lived here for over twenty years and it is just wonderful. Did you know it was founded in 1782, as a Spanish garrison? No, well it was and the mission was built just four years later. If your boss gives you any time to yourself you really should go visit it. It is a place of great serenity."

"Thank you, I will. I hoped to do some sightseeing last time, but I wasn't able to."

"You're not from round here are you, dear?" Mariana Ortega took on the personality of an inquisitive bird as she looked at Rae.

"No, Ma'am, I'm from London, but I live and work in LA now."

"Oh, how nice, with John?"

For a moment Rae wasn't quite sure how to answer. "He's my boss, yes. Can you recommend any other places to go? I have two young daughters; I would like to take them and my husband something back with me." Rae had a feeling that the spark of interest in Mariana's eyes dimmed a little.

"You could go to Paseo Nuevo, on State Street, you might find something a little unusual there. Is your husband a cop too?"

Rae smiled, and wondered for a second how Jesse was getting on. "No, he's a doctor."

"Detective, if you could spare me a moment." The Chief's voice floated out of the doorway to the house behind her and Rae turned slightly.

"Yes, Sir, I'm on my way." Rae extended her hand once again. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am. We'll let you know when we're leaving. Goodbye." Rae hoped that she had given an indication that the Chief wouldn't want to be disturbed, but she had a feeling that she may have wasted her breath.

By the time Jesse's shift had finished he was surprised at how exhausted but alive he felt. He wasn't working full time yet, and his day had been interrupted by his weekly visit with Lauren, but the hours had slipped by and he was already looking forward to coming back the next day. With a sigh he sat down at one of the tables in the doctors' lounge, a cup of coffee in front of him and let the day ebb away. As he did so he heard two very familiar voices travel down the corridor towards him and turned, a smile on his face as he stood and watched them get closer and closer.

"Well, well, look who it is. You know, I seem to remember we had a doctor here who looked just like this little guy." Amanda smiled and moved over to kiss her friend on the cheek. Jesse received it and then found himself in a hug which was also very welcome.

"Hey, hey, you know if I stop breathing Mark won't let me come in tomorrow." Jesse tried to extricate himself from Amanda's arms, but all she did was loosen her grip just a little.

Finally Amanda took a step back, placed a hand on each shoulder and looked at him. "You're looking better, you have colour in your cheeks, your hair is mussed up, and you have a stethoscope round your neck, it is so good to have you back."

"Thank you, it's good to be back, I needed the time but this is way better." Jesse turned to Mark and shook his hand. "I'm sorry our shifts didn't match today."

"Me too, Jess, but I'm covering for Alex, and joining my hours on where I can so that I don't spend more time in the car than the hospital. So far it seems to be working, but I'm off next weekend, and I can't wait."

"Me too, that is one good thing about being on reduced hours, although I have a feeling you have something to do with it too, huh?"

Mark was just about to answer when he heard a sound and turned to see his son standing in the doorway. "Steve, what brings you here?"

"Stab wounds, murdered store workers, and a hankering for meat loaf." Steve came into the room, grabbed himself a coffee and sat down opposite his friend. "It's good to see you, Jess, how've you been?"

"Not bad, Steve, not bad, but I have to go pick up the girls in a little while." Jesse looked around him for a few seconds almost like a scared rabbit in the headlights of a car.

"Well, just stay for a minute; I would like your input." As Steve spoke both Mark and Amanda sat down and then the three doctors waited as Steve took some papers out of the file in front of him. "I want to get you in on the ground floor so to speak on this murder that Rae and I picked up the other night." Steve handed round three pieces of paper which had the main details on them. He had been writing it out for himself when he'd figured it would be a good way to show them what he had so far.

"I sent you the autopsy details this morning, did you get them?" Amanda received a nod and so she carried on talking. "Did you see that I finally found some fibres? I've been in court today otherwise I would have worked on them a little more, but I'm pretty sure that they don't come from clothing."

Steve saw Mark scan the information on his sheet of paper. "That's not on here, can I write on this?"

"Yeah, sure, if it helps, just let me have them back when we've finished." Steve handed his dad a pen and watched as he began to write in his off duty handwriting. "You know you would be loved unconditionally by patients everywhere if you wrote like that when you were working."

Mark looked at Steve over the top of his glasses and made a sucking noise with his teeth. "Ooh, no, sonny, no, no, no, it takes years of medical school to learn that difficult script, in fact I should be publicly flogged just for talking about it." Mark stopped talking as Steve and Amanda burst out laughing, and Jesse sat shaking his head.

Steve managed to catch his breath and begin talking again. "You know sometimes I think I would do better sharing all this with Eliana and Anneya."  

"Do you want our help?" Mark tried to stare his son down, but it was one of the few things he never won.

"I could just stop asking you, but then you would moan and follow me about town, this way I get to at least believe I'm working to my own agenda."

"Would you like to know about the fibres?" Amanda had her 'mom' voice on.

"Yes, please." Steve put his, he hoped, contrite look on, and found he was having a hard time keeping a straight face once more.

"Ok. The fibres were tiny, microscopic, and I found them in the hair at the nape of her neck. I think they were from a car blanket. The fleecy type, they don't shed as much as ordinary blankets do, which is probably why there weren't any others. If you want my opinion I think she was wrapped in the blanket, and then when she was killed on the waste ground the blanket was elsewhere, maybe in the vehicle she was transported in."

"But you didn't find any other trace of it?" Steve had retrieved his pen and begun writing as soon as Amanda began to talk."

"Some cars have those blankets to shield the seats; I guess they're more comfy than the shiny plastic protectors." Jesse had said nothing since Steve entered the room and his voice seemed extremely loud and intrusive, to him at least.

"Yeah, that's true. What colour was the fibre?" Steve thought for a moment, the information that he'd found out about the club might tie in with that.

"Green. Just an ordinary car blanket, sorry."

"No, problem." Steve thought for a moment, and then began to talk again. "Have you heard of a club called Reds?"

"No, why?"

"Because that's where the stamp you found on Jenna's hand originated."

"Oh." Amanda had pointed out the mark to Steve when she first examined the body in the morgue. At the time it had been difficult to see, but with the help of ultraviolet light the word red had been clearly seen with the outline of something above it, that had been smudged but they had both agreed that it was a flower of some sort.

"I went round there on the way here. They were just setting up for the night, and it was almost entirely empty. It's a big place, classy joint and I would be surprised if anyone remembered seeing a particular person five minutes before let alone four days."

"So you had no luck?" Mark's voice sounded despondent, he was disappointed for his son.

"Well, following on from what Jesse just said, I think that most of the cars that you'd find in its parking lot would cost a lot of money, maybe they would protect their seats, but apart from that, nope, none at all. I think the only way to do it is to go back when the joint is jumping. Maybe someone will remember Jenna, she was a beautiful girl, I'm sure she had guys looking at her."

"When will you go?" Amanda obviously had an idea when she thought he should visit by the tone of her voice.

"Thursday night. Rae'll be back, and we can be the oldest swingers in town!" Steve hoped for a reaction from Jesse, but after his comments on the car rug he had said nothing else.

"Thursday would be the best night, because maybe people go regularly and would have been there last week. That's your thinking, right?"

"Amanda, you should have been a cop." Steve smiled at her; he couldn't believe how much he had enjoyed the talk they'd just had. He knew that it was coming to an end and he needed to get home anyway, but it had felt good to be working things out like they used to.

"Mark, I need to go pick up the girls, I'll see you tomorrow, Amanda, you too." Jesse stood up, put his cup in the sink and headed for the door. "Bye, all."

The three remaining friends watched him go, and then Steve waited for them both to say something about Jesse, but neither of them did. Feeling, once again, that he was reading things that weren't there, Steve collected his papers up with a sigh and stood, "I need to go too, Dad, Amanda, I'll keep you posted on what we find. Oh, Amanda, Cheryl asked me to give you this."

"What is it?" The pathologist now held a thin manilla folder in her hand.

"Some up-to-date medical information on one of her murder victims. She got it from the girl's father, who was also her doctor. Never heard that one before." With a grin Steve headed towards the door, his hand raised in a cheery wave, as he saw his dad lean back in his seat, and heard a chuckle escape him.

Rae had found her boss in the living room of the house unlocking the desk that was situated in the far corner overlooking a beautiful patio garden. She moved to where he was standing and began to speak. "Where would you like me to start, Sir, and what do you think I should do?"

The house looked almost lived in, even though Rae knew that it had been six weeks since Elizabeth's death. She half expected someone to come out of the kitchen and offer them coffee and maybe a cake or two.

"I wondered whether you could check through the mail that's arrived, and then I will need to start arranging for the furniture to go into storage, and for her clothes to be sent to a charitable organisation. Maybe you could help with the clothes, I'm … I'm not sure about them."

"Of course, Sir. I'll just go get the post."  There was a black mail box on the front of the house and, as Rae had seen the key hanging where she had left it the last time she had been here, it was an easy find, and in just under five minutes Rae had a stack of letters and bills spread out on the kitchen table.  Rae sorted through them and began to separate them into piles. When she had been at the house the first time Elizabeth Masters hadn't been dead very long, and there had been no mail in the box except for a credit card bill and two flyers for dry cleaners. This time however, it was a different matter. 

It didn't take Rae very long to realise that maybe the Chief shouldn't have asked her to do what she was doing. She hadn't opened anything personal, but she didn't need to. There were letters from, according to the printing on the back, a couple of local charities, an opera society, a nearby theatre group, someone in Monterey and a local bank. It was the last two that had made her decide that she really needed to go back and talk with her boss. Quietly she stood up and returned to the living room. John Masters was sitting with his back to her, a photo of Elizabeth in his hand. 

"She wasn't your sister, was she, Sir?" Rae saw the big man in front of her jump at the sound of her voice, and as he turned she could see tears standing in his eyes.

"No, Detective, she wasn't … she was my wife."


	5. Recollections

**Chapter Five – Recollections**

Samantha Morrison had brushed her blonde hair back into a ponytail high on her head, and then braided it. It still reached down to the waistband of her skirt, and was heavy on her back. She had a lunch appointment with a guy who had come into the pharmacy where she worked, and she was really looking forward to it.

He had been in a couple of times in the last week, just for ordinary things, mouthwash, deodorant, nothing special, but he had always made sure that she served him, and after the first couple of times Sam had tried to arrange it so she could help him look for his purchases as well as put them through the till for him. He had been in just after six the night before, and she was putting her coat on and getting ready to go home when he had appeared at her shoulder.

_"Hi, I was hoping I would catch you. Listen, I know this is really short notice, but I wondered whether you'd like to go for a coffee or something."_

_Sam had smiled, she would have loved to go for a drink with this guy, but her momma had told her to play hard to get, and so that was what she would do. "I can't tonight, I have plans, but I'm free tomorrow lunch time." Ok, so not hard to get, just a little difficult._

_"That would be fun, let me just take your cell number and address in case I can't get there. Oh, my name is Dominic by the way."_

_"I live at the Beach View Hotel, my mom works in the health center, and we have a room there."_

_Dominic had written it all down, and then held the door to the store open for her and she had waved to the manager still in there cashing up. _ 

Now Sam was looking forward to telling him all about the hotel, how her mom had increased the membership of the health center by twenty percent, and how she was thinking of maybe branching out, well, the two of them and opening their own place. The bell to the store rang, and Sam ran lightly down the back stairs from the staff room and out into the shop. Dominic looked devastating in his black jeans and white heavy cotton shirt. He had a pair of shades resting in his blonde spiky hair, and a single red rose in his hand.

Sam had been quite pleased with the way she looked until she saw Dominic, now she felt dowdy and a bit average.  She wasn't allowed to wear jeans to work, and so she had her new denim skirt on with a pink polo shirt which was comfy and she knew looked good on her.

"This is for you, and you look pretty." Dominic smiled at her.  "I know you live and work locally, but I thought maybe we could go to Santa Monica Place and have lunch there, what do you say?"

"That sounds lovely, and it means we can spend almost the whole hour together before I have to get back." Sam had smiled and sniffed the rose. "This is just gorgeous, thank you."

"Sam?" A voice called to her from further in the store.

"Yes, Mrs Thorne?"

"If you're prepared to work through your afternoon break you may take ninety minutes."

Sam smiled. "Thank you, I promise I won't be late back." Then, with a cheery wave, she was gone.

****

Rae moved round and sat on the sofa so that she could see the Chief in front of her. "Do you want to tell me why you let everyone think she was your sister, Sir? Why you lied to me when I am in charge of this investigation?" Rae knew that she should be sympathetic, but right now all she could think of was that she had been taken for a fool.

John Masters looked down at the picture in his hand, as if seeking permission from the woman in it to speak. Then, with a sigh that seemed to come from his very soul, he began to talk.

"After I graduated from high school I studied pre-law and after law school I joined the diplomatic service. After a while, I guess it doesn't matter how long, I was transferred to London." There was silence for a moment, and then, placing the photo on the desk in front of him, the Chief began to talk once more.

"I'd been there for six months when a new secretary began to work in my department. Her name was Elizabeth Kagan, and she was as strong minded as I was. We started talking one day in the cafeteria, there was an article in the paper about the Nobel peace prize being awarded to Martin Luther King Jr. and she asked me what I thought about him."

"What did you think about him?" Rae had no idea if she was supposed to join in or not, but she felt as if she should say something.

"I told her that I didn't think anything about him at all." John Masters chuckled to himself. "She was scandalized. She thought he was a hero, and for the rest of our lunch break she proceeded to tell me why. I thought he was pretty heroic myself, but I would have said almost anything to get her undivided attention for a whole hour … she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met.

"London was an exciting place to be in the early sixties, in 1965 we stood on the Mall for Churchill's funeral, saw Bob Dylan play in concert. Life was good, and at the end of that year we got married." The smile that spread across the face of the Chief of Police showed how pleasant the memories were, and he put his hand into his pants pocket and took out his wallet. "I don't usually carry this with me, but it seemed appropriate to bring it on this trip." The picture that he handed to Rae was one of himself and Elizabeth on their wedding day, and Rae could see that Elizabeth Kagan-Masters had indeed been very beautiful.

"1966 was a year I'm sure you're aware of, especially if I tell you that Elizabeth and I were at Wembley."

"You were at Wembley, what, for the final?" Rae's eyes were as large as saucers. "My dad would have sold his entire family for tickets to that match."

"I have to admit that I didn't really understand it very well, but we got caught up in the excitement of the whole thing, and there isn't that much chance of our national team winning the World Cup for soccer now is there?"

"No, Sir, I guess not, but it's football in England, as you well know." Rae smiled at him, she hadn't been kidding, her dad would have given almost anything to be at Wembley Stadium to see the England football team win the World Cup on home soil. Nothing that came close to that had happened since, and it was a great moment in her country's sporting history. For a moment she let her mind wander, no matter how much she loved living in LA; she guessed England was still her country. Bringing herself back to the present Rae smiled again. "Next time I get to see any clips from it I'll be watching the crowd and not the game."

"We stayed in London for another four years. Elizabeth had our son, Thomas in 1967, but we called him Tommy, and then in 1970, the first week of 1970 we had a daughter, we called her Rachael." The room became enclosed in silence, but this time Rae knew that she shouldn't break into it. "We brought Rachael home from the hospital on the 7th of January, the four of us in our new Jaguar car, except Rachael never made it home, and neither did Tommy. On the way there, I killed them."

"Sir?"

"The weather was lousy, the fog was really bad and we were driving by the Thames, you know what the water there does to fog."

"It makes it thicker. Sir, you don't have to carry on," but Rae knew that he did, that now he had begun to unburden himself, he would be unable to stop.

"Elizabeth had just passed me a sandwich, I hadn't eaten all day, and we were both hungry. Your partner may like hospital food, Detective, but neither of us did." John Masters tried to lighten the mood, but he knew that was impossible. "I guess I let my concentration waiver for a minute, a second, a moment, I don't know, all I do know is I never saw the car that smashed into the back of ours." John closed his eyes and was back there, the horror of it all was still so fresh as to be startling. "Elizabeth and I weren't hurt, can you believe that? They took the children back to … back to the hospital we'd left not more than an hour before, but … but it didn't matter."

Rae had already worked that part out, but she said nothing.

"We buried the children in the churchyard where we'd stood for wedding photos just four years earlier, and we seemed to sit in our house in silence for six months after that. Then on the fourth of July we packed our bags and came back to Santa Barbara. Or at least Elizabeth did. I couldn't speak to her, touch her, I couldn't even make eye contact with her, and when we landed in Los Angeles I knew our marriage was over. I joined the LAPD, and Elizabeth went back to the house she'd been born in, and for a while she cared for her mother, when she died three years later Elizabeth found that the house and all its contents had been left to us. I arranged for my share to be given to her and so she just carried on living there.

"I didn't speak to her or contact her again for twenty-five years. I'd just been made Chief of Police, and I got an invitation to a night of opera in Santa Barbara and decided to attend. I was being handed a glass of champagne when I saw her. It had been a long time, but I knew it was her." For a minute he sat there, and when he began to speak again Rae was inside his memory with him.

_"__Elizabeth__, it's been a long time." John looked at the woman in front of him. Her hair was a little greyer, and maybe set a little more severely than in the past, but she was still his Eliza._

_"Yes, John, it has. You've done very well for yourself, but then there was never any doubt about that. If you had stayed in the diplomatic service you would be a very high ranking politician by now."_

_He had nodded his head slightly in agreement at what she said. He knew that it was true. He'd had a successful future mapped out for himself, but he'd discarded it all to become a cop, and not once had he regretted it. _

_"I hope that you will enjoy the evening, I have to admit to having a hand in your being here." The smile had been warm, almost inviting, and he had stared at her for a moment, and then he had seen her stiffen a little before a voice broke into their conversation._

_"Now, __Elizabeth__, you didn't tell me you were bringing such a handsome escort." The woman who had come to join them was smaller than his wife, with jet black hair and eyes. John had known she was Hispanic, but apart from that he knew nothing about her, except for the fact that he could tell his wife was not at all pleased to be interrupted by her._

_"Mariana, I'm sorry, we didn't come together, John, this is my neighbour Mariana Ortega, Mariana, this is my … my brother, John."_

"I asked her the following day why she had told such a blatant lie, and she just laughed. We were sitting out in the garden, on the patio you can see from the kitchen.  After the concert we'd walked off from the opera house together. I'd gone there privately, so I wasn't expected to make small talk with anyone, and Elizabeth told me that since … since the accident she walked everywhere that she could. Once we were out of sight of prying eyes, it seemed natural to hold hands, to talk about the time we had been apart, what we'd done, you know the type of thing."

"Yes, Sir, I know." Rae smiled; she had a feeling that, for a while at least, the tale would be a little happier.

"Before either of us knew it we were back here and, as my car was still at the opera house, Elizabeth asked if I would like to spend the night. The following morning we had breakfast on the patio, and were so relaxed, so back together that it all seemed so right." This time a full throated laugh escaped Rae's boss, and he shook his head. "I know that you Brits put your washing out on the line at every possible opportunity."

Rae looked confused, she was sure she hadn't missed anything.

"Sir?"

"We sat on the patio, and I saw a twinkle come up in Elizabeth's eyes. She lowered her voice just a little and told me to look into the glass of the door behind her. I could see Mariana putting washing up on a very hastily erected line. We sat out there for just over an hour, and that woman came and checked her linens about once every ten minutes. In the end we had to come in."

"Did you find out why your wife didn't want to admit to being married to you? You were still married weren't you?"

"Oh, yes, we had neither of us ever felt the need to divorce the other. I guess if we had found other people we wanted to spend our lives with it would have been different, but our pasts were so tightly linked together that no one else could get through to us.

"After that it just seemed the natural thing to let everyone think we were brother and sister. I knew that I would attract all sorts of bad publicity if I suddenly produced a wife of thirty-two years. Elizabeth had a certain standing here, she was on the committee of various charities and local organisations, a ready-made husband wouldn't really have done her any favours either. Neither of us wanted to have to discuss our children and so we mentioned a couple of times that we had lost contact for a few years, but that was all, and then only to the people who wouldn't let go until they knew where I'd been all this time."

"Like Mariana Ortega?"

"Like Mariana Ortega. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't hear all about the long lost brother angle when you were here the first time."

"I may well have done if Mrs Ortega had been home, but the entire time I was here I never saw her, I guess she was out of town."

"Ah, lucky you."

"What happened after you got re-acquainted?" Rae suddenly blushed as she realised how awful that sounded, but she had no idea what else to say so she kept silent.

"One of the perks of being the Chief of Police is that you can, for the most part, work nine to five, five days a week. I used to make sure that at least two weekends in every month I got to Santa Barbara. Apart from the children, it was as if we had always been together, always been happy, as if nothing had torn us apart." For a minute the Chief was silent and then he continued speaking. "And then, after five short years, it was all taken away again." His voice wavered and Rae knew that she should leave him be for a while. She stood up and made her way out to fill the kettle for a hot drink and as she looked out of the kitchen window she saw Mariana Ortega hanging out her washing.

The flight to Texas had been uneventful, but then it normally was. Jo had sat on her own, a laptop computer on the table in front of her, a pitcher of iced tea and some peanuts next to it. There was a lot to be said for owning your own jet. For one thing you never had to wait in the departure lounge. It went when you were ready. If there was a hold up at the airport you just stayed home a little longer. Then when you were on board it didn't look like an airplane but the lobby of a five star hotel. There was a deep cream semi-circular sofa which could be reclined in four places so that you could lean back and relax as you watched your movie, which was always one you liked. The bar was always well stocked, as was the galley and, if she requested it, a chef would travel with her. This time though Jo had asked for total privacy, and she knew that short of a red alert she would talk to no one, unless she chose to, until she landed.

She had walked through the executive lounge and then been picked up by David's chauffeur and taken to the ranch. The Walters spread was twenty miles from anywhere, which meant it was about thirty miles from the airport. The half hour journey had been very relaxing, Jo leant back into the leather seats and let the hot dry air waft around her. She loved Los Angeles, couldn't see herself living anywhere else now, but Texas was home, and she guessed it always would be. Next time she came she would make sure that Steve and Daniel came too. The boy had begun to have riding lessons, much to her amusement. Maddie had been in total awe when she found out that Daniel's mom owned her own stables, and they now both went for lessons on Saturday mornings, although how that would fare now he was in money earning mode she had no idea.

The black limousine drew up outside the main Texas residence of the Walters clan and Jo waited for the door to be opened for her. "Darren, thank you." She carefully extricated herself from the car and made her way towards the front door, which was opened silently as she approached it.

"Jonathon, how ya doin'?"

"I am fine, thank you, Madam; I hope you had a pleasant journey."

"I did. Thank you." To Jo it always sounded strange to hear the formal words said with a strong Texan accent. Somehow Michael's British one was far more suitable, but probably only because that was what she was used to.

"Jo, Honey, how are you?" David's broad Texan tones broke into her thoughts and she turned into a huge hug from her brother. She felt herself being swung round and once again, just as when Steve had done it to her the other day, she didn't like it.

"Davie, put me down."

"Davie? You haven't called me that in years." David looked a little surprised, but Jo could tell he was delighted too.

"Sorry, it just slipped out. But it was a nice name."

"Jo, do I get a chance to say hello to my soon to be sister-in-law?" Debs came out of one of the doors that led to the huge living room that went the entire length of the rear of the house. Jo put a forced smile on her face and gritted her teeth.

"Sister-in-law? I guess I have some catchin' up to do."

David had the grace to look a little shame faced, and Jo could swear she saw him glare at his fiancée. "We have set a date for three weeks time. Do you think that Steve will be able to come?"

"Well, I don't rightly know, but I will ask him. He has a lot on his plate right now, an' Daniel can't just take time off school like that…" Jo looked between the two faces. "You weren't goin' to include him were you?"

"Well, now, Jo, it's not like he's family or anythin', an' you did have a small weddin' yourself."

"Yes I did, but I invited you, an' you were nothin' to me! Daniel is our son."

"No, he's your foster son, he could be moved someplace else tomorrow." Debbie's eyes blazed, but she forced her temper back down.

"We weren't gonna say anythin' until it was all finalized, but Steve an' I are adoptin' Daniel, he will be our son very soon, an' anybody who can't treat him as a member of our family, won't be treated that way themselves. Now, if you will excuse me I am hot an' tired, an' would like to go to my room." Jo turned from the two shocked people in front of her and made her way up the staircase. As she did so she heard Debbie begin to talk again.

"Well, I told you, she is just not a Texas lady any more. Marryin' a cop, an' adoptin' a chil' with his background. You need to make sure that your business dealin's aren't common knowledge around here. There are some people you just can't trust."

Jo slammed the door to her room, lashed out at the waste basket that was just inside the door, and watched as it sailed across the room, then she flung herself on the bed and tried to calm herself down enough so that she could call Daniel without sounding as if she could chew metal, even though she was sure that right now it would be no problem to gnaw her way through a girder.

Steve had just been getting ready for a meeting with the Captain when his phone rang and a dispatch operator told him that a body had been found near a group of palm trees in an isolated part of Palisades Park.

With a deep sigh Steve had grabbed his jacket, put his head round the Captain's door to let him know where he was going, and then he had climbed into his car and headed off towards Santa Monica.

Amanda had already been there, and one look at her face and he knew it was another bad one.

"So what do you have that I need to be here for instead of a homicide cop from Pacific Community?" Steve had a feeling he knew already, but it never hurt to ask.

"A young woman who has the soles of her feet slashed."

"Great? Is she naked?"

"Oh, yeah, I'll move in a minute so that you can see."

"Don't hurry on my account. I'll text Rae, she'll be just thrilled." Steve moved away from the body and took his cell out of his pocket. They hadn't given the case a name yet, and he wondered the best way to let her know without putting too much information on the phone. Normally he would call her, but she was with the Chief, and he didn't want to call at the wrong moment. _Face it, Sloan, there is no right moment to call someone who is working with the Chief._ In the end he decided to just put 'Jenna is no longer alone', knowing that she would understand what he meant. Just as he put the phone back into his jacket he heard Amanda call his name.

"Steve."

"Yeah, can I have a look now?"

"Sure, but I think that things are pretty much as they were before, blonde female, no clothes, nothing to identify her, there is just one thing different than before. Well, apart from the fact that she was found much earlier this time."

"Which is?"

"That." Amanda pointed down to the body. There, under the right wrist, was a red rose.

Rae had spent the rest of the afternoon at the Masters' house sorting through clothes and jewellery, trying to work out what should be sold, and what should be given to charity. She had also found some love letters, two diaries and a set of bank statements which were addressed to Mrs J. Masters.

When the Chief had regained his composure he had brought his empty cup out to the kitchen. Rae had made him some tea and silently taken it in to him after he had made his confession, she could think of no other name for it. As they had stood together in the kitchen, both of them looking at the sheets fluttering in the wind next door, he had started to talk again.

"How did you know she wasn't my sister?"

"There was a bank statement and a letter from Monterey; they were both addressed to Mrs J. Masters. The letter might have been an error, but the bank statement, I didn't think so. The lack of photos of you as a child then made sense, the reason that you only appeared in pictures from the sixties onwards was because before then Elizabeth didn't have anything like that to display."

John Masters had turned to the table and picked up the letter. He smiled and began to open it. "It's from Mildred."

"Sir?"

"You do know her, Detective, Mildred Davenport. She checked with me before letting you and Lieutenant Sloan into her house."

Rae laughed. "I remember her. She asked me whether I could vouch for Steve's honesty. He was not amused."

For a moment the Chief seemed to relax completely. "Did you have to leave your shoes in the box at the door?"

"Oh, yeah, and you know, somehow I felt more vulnerable without my shoes than I would if she had made me leave my gun in the box."

"It's a good thing she didn't think about that, she has a metal strongbox that I have to put mine in!" The shutters went back up, and Rae saw her boss disappear back into himself once more.

Rae had moved back into the living room, and felt her phone vibrate as she did so. As she took it out of her pocket she was surprised to see that the time on it said a little after half past five in the evening. She read the message, felt the familiar sadness that always accompanied her finding out that someone else had died a violent death, and then headed back towards the bedroom, knowing that there was little or nothing she could do or say anywhere else.

Amanda had left with the body as soon as the pictures of the location, positioning and placing of the body had been taken. She had talked with Steve briefly about what she had found, but both of them knew that until the blood could be cleaned away nothing of very much value would be discovered.

Once the area was clear apart from a rough outline drawn on the grass Steve had begun a detailed search of the area. He had no doubt that the murderer would follow an exact pattern in all his killings, and as the first scene had been discovered in the dark he planned to go over this one with a fine toothed comb himself. So far it had made little or no difference because he hadn't found anything. In the end, as his back and his neck began to complain, he knew that he should be calling it a day.

There seemed to be no reason to keep the yellow police tape round the area any longer. He signalled to one of the uniformed officers from the Pacific Community precinct and waited for him to join him.

"I'm heading back to North Hollywood now, I'll get a report sent to your Captain in the next day or two, once I have the autopsy report and any forensic evidence catalogued. You can get rid of the ribbon once you've finished your search."

"Ok, Lieutenant. We'll get our report to you by morning."

With that Steve headed back to his car and the prospect of a night without his wife.

The lunch date had gone well, Dominic had been pleased. Matthew didn't recall what he'd said, but he knew that he'd been pleased. He guessed he was lucky to find someone else so soon after that other woman had dumped him. Dominic never liked to admit that he'd been dumped, but the telephone number she'd given him wouldn't ring out, and so it looked like she'd given him a fake one.

Matthew couldn't remember ending up in the bathroom, but there had been blood on the floor again, and he'd found a pair of black jeans and a shirt in the laundry basket. They had been blood stained, and so just like he always did when he found this stuff he put it in the metal trash can, placed it on the fire escape and set it alight. He didn't know whose clothes they had been, they weren't his, he only wore blue jeans and t-shirts, usually ones with slogans on, like _save the whales, _or_ feed the world,_ stuff like that. Dominic, maybe they were his, but he liked suits, smart suits, business shirts and silk ties. Matthew didn't think he'd ever seen his friend in jeans before. _His friend_, he guessed that Dominic was as close to a friend as he had. He wished they could be together more often, but it seemed he always came home just as Dominic was going out, or Matthew would just be going off to sleep when Dom wanted to talk.

Matthew wrung his hands, he knew that something was wrong again, and his eyes strayed to the door on the third room. As he did so he felt the blood trickle down his thumb. He'd scrunched up the clothes ready to burn them and pricked his finger on something. It had bled, a lot, but as the shirt already had blood on it, Matthew had wiped it on there, then he'd shaken the shirt until he found what he was looking for, a thorn, he'd looked around the apartment, they didn't have any flowers, where would the thorn have come from? Matthew shook his head, he knew it was time for him to start writing things down again. Doctor Braeburn had told him that when he had too many things in his head that were unexplained he should write them all down. He couldn't see her any more of course, not since they'd moved, but he figured it would still work. Sticking his hand into his pocket Matthew pulled out a five dollar bill. He'd be able to get a nice book with that, and then he could start his diary again. That was a good idea. Feeling suddenly positive, Matthew headed for the front door, nothing that he wrote down could hurt him, and if he put it on paper he could forget all about it. Dominic would be proud of him. He wondered if he could get a red book, he liked that colour.

The door clicked shut behind him, and the trashcan kept on burning.


	6. The Past will find You

**Chapter Six – The Past will find you**

There were three bedrooms in Elizabeth Masters' house, and Rae had started in the main bedroom, _I guess it was the Masters' master bedroom_.Rae had long ago got used to going through people's belongings, but somehow this was different. Although Rae hadn't known the woman she liked and respected her husband, and he was just down the hallway. Rae could see the strain in his eyes, and hear it in his tone, and she knew that he was finding the whole experience extremely taxing. With a sigh she checked her watch, it was a little after six and, making a decision, Rae closed the drawer she had just begun to search and made her way to where she knew John Masters was sitting going through a box of bills and receipts.

As she went to enter the small office-like area of the living room Rae saw him wipe at his eyes, and so she backed off and decided that she would go visit with the nosy neighbour for a little while, she would have to speak with her, and getting it over with quickly suddenly seemed a real good idea.

"I'll be back in a bit; I'm just popping next door." Rae called out as she left the house, not waiting for a reply she knew wouldn't be forthcoming.

Mariana Ortega must have been watching out of the window because no sooner had Rae rapped on the door than it opened and the woman was standing there, a welcoming greeting on her lips. "Detective, what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you? Would you like to come in?" She stepped back and Rae entered a busy but spotless hallway.

Everywhere Rae looked she saw photos. Some were of animals, dogs mostly, small Yorkshire Terriers, at least that was what they were called in England, and as she processed this Rae became aware of a small dog sniffing round her feet. "Hey, you're a cutie aren't you?" Rae looked down at the small creature, which, she noticed, had a diamond collar.

"Oh, Snugsy, you are dribbling on the Detective's shoes."

Rae tried to repress a shudder, and surreptitiously dried one of her sneakers on the back of her jeans and glared at Snugsy, deciding that cutie might get the bootie before she was finished.

"I need to talk with you, Ma'am, is there somewhere we could have a chat?" Rae pulled her ID out and then her notebook so that Mariana realised that she was there on official business. It seemed to succeed, but only in turning the woman into more of a gibbering idiot than before.

"Oh, oh, of course, yes, now, where should we go? The living room is my favourite, no, you'll need someplace to lean, maybe the rec room, that has a table, but it is so warm in there still, we could go into the kitchen, but it seems too rude to speak to you there…"

"The kitchen would be just fine." Rae smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile; she needed information from this lady, and didn't want to scare her.

"Well, all right then, and it does mean that little Snugsy Wugsy can join us. You'd like to come with Mommy, wouldn't you?" Mariana changed her voice when she spoke to her pet, who was now being held under her arm like a small purse. Rae wondered for a moment what Steve would have made of Elizabeth Masters' neighbour and her tiny rat-like animal. Then she watched as the woman made her way to the back of the house and followed her.

The kitchen, Rae had to admit, was a beautiful room. It was very large, and the floor and the counters were marble. The units were pine, and the walls without cabinets on were white and rough. Every now and then there were brightly coloured plaques or plates. The whole effect was bright, clean and well cared for. Slightly away from the work units was a huge pine table, and it was here that Rae and Mariana made themselves comfortable. "Can I get you a drink before we start?"

"A cold drink would be nice, thank you." Rae opened up her pad and made a few notes at the top of the page, and waited. A minute or so later Mariana sat back down and Rae began to speak.

"Elizabeth was already living next door when you moved here?"

"That's right, and she was just so welcoming, she brought me a bouquet of flowers when I arrived, and I made her a cup of tea. I didn't see that much of her, but we always spoke if we saw each other in town, or when we were doing yard work, that sort of thing."

Rae had already worked out that Elizabeth was the type of woman who didn't suffer fools gladly. She had a feeling that Mariana would have come under that heading as far as the Chief's wife was concerned.

"Do you have any idea why someone would have wanted to kill her?" Rae looked up from her pad.

"No, no, oh, no, I have … I have no idea. She was a strong lady, I couldn't believe it when I heard, I was so sad, so very sad." Mariana leant over and pulled a Kleenex from the box which was resting on the counter behind her. Gradually she gathered herself together again, and began to speak once more. "You know we always had a nice time when we were together, she was such a polite lady, very reserved, she didn't talk much, but we … we always enjoyed each other's company. Most people are so rude to me, I find, even on the committees I'm on, but Elizabeth, she … she never was. I am going … going to miss her so much." The tears started again then, and Rae knew she would have to be very patient.

"When was the last time you saw her?" It was almost five minutes before Rae asked her question, and even then she had to wait for a moment while her companion gathered herself together.

"About … about a week before she was going to see John."

"See John? You mean her h … brother?" Rae almost tripped over her words as she remembered that, as far as Mrs Ortega was concerned, the real identity of John Masters was still a secret.

"Yes, that's right, I guess you can't call him by name can you, as he's your boss, would you rather I called him something else too?"

"No, Ma'am, that's fine, I just don't think of him by his Christian name, is all." Rae was beginning to wish that she had left this interview to a uniformed officer.

"What did you just ask me?" Mariana had the look of worried martyrdom which Rae imagined wore pretty thin pretty quickly.

For a moment Rae had no idea what she had just asked, but she managed to draw herself back into police mode and get a grip of the situation once more. "When did you last see Elizabeth Masters?"

"It was about a week before she was going to see John, as I said. I was working in my yard, I had some beautiful succulents that needed attention, and I had planned to spend the afternoon out there. She came over and asked me what I was doing." Rae's hand was flowing across the pad, she had always hated shorthand, but she couldn't deny it came in real handy. "I told her about some of my more successful plants. I exhibit them you know, dear." Once again the woman stopped talking and Rae nodded her head. For some reason the fact that Mrs Ortega showed her plants didn't surprise her at all.

"I could tell she had something on her mind, and so I stopped what I was doing and we sat on the bench and chatted for a while. We were both on the committee of a couple of organisations, the local operatic society, and the drama society. We hold a week of plays and recitals every year; it raises a lot of money for neighbourhood charities. Elizabeth wanted to know if I had the accounts for the last financial year for the drama society. She said that she had looked everywhere and just couldn't find hers. Well, I pride myself on always being able to put my hand to everything and so it didn't take long before I was able to give her what she wanted, and then we chatted a little more and she left." Mariana paused for a moment and Rae could see that she was collecting herself. "I didn't get a chance to speak to her again, I didn't even get to say goodbye." She sniffed again, and the dog, seeing her owner was upset pawed at the chair until Mariana bent down and picked her up and then the little animal snuggled up to her, and Rae smiled, she had a feeling that Snugsy was Mariana's only real friend.

"How do you know that she was going to Los Angeles?"

"Because she had said to me that she needed to go and see John. Elizabeth didn't often travel into LA, in fact it only happened about once or twice a year, but that is definitely what she was going to do."

"And you're sure she said that she needed to see him."

The woman across the table from her sat and thought carefully, and Rae took the chance to drain the liquid from her glass. "Yes, I'm sure, she said 'I need to go and see John, so I won't be around much next week.' Then she asked me about the accounts she had mislaid."

"And they were for the drama society for the last financial year, yes?" Rae looked up from her notes.

"Yes, I can double check my file if you would like, the disc will be missing." Mariana stood up as she spoke, and as Rae nodded her head she moved into the living room. As was the case in Elizabeth Masters' house one part of the living room had been turned into a small office. The rooms both had a deep alcove, caused by the large fireplace one side and the front window the other, and a computer desk seemed to fit nicely into it. Rae stood back a little way as Mrs Ortega opened the desk and took out a black zip up case. "I have all the figures on the computer, so I can check anything if I need to, although I have to say I've never had to yet, and then I keep a back up copy. That was what I gave to Elizabeth." Rae watched as the case was unzipped and then Mariana showed her where the disc would have been.

"How was the disc marked?"

"Pardon?"

"The disc, what did it have written on it?"

"Oh, it looked like this," Mariana handed Rae the disc case, "they are all marked in the same way. It would have said 'DSFs 2002/3'"

"DSF?" Rae thought for a moment, "Drama Society … figures."

Mariana nodded. "Good girl."

"Do you think you could let me have a copy of what was on the disc? I have no idea whether they have any bearing on the case, but if they do, it will save me bothering you again." Rae smiled and waited.

"Of course, dear, but trust me you are no bother. You're welcome any time."

Rae just carried on smiling and waited while the computer was booted up, the file found and then printed out. Once that had been done Rae politely said her goodbyes and took her leave. As she was moving down the path she heard Mariana's voice, "Goodbye, Detective," and then, as the woman was going back in, "well, wasn't that nice for Mommy and Snugsy? What a lovely visit." Rae shook her head, there was no doubt that the woman was lonely, but there was also no doubt why.

Steve had left Community General and headed straight for Bob's. He was working until closing time, and as they had recently seen another surge in business he was considering putting a 'help wanted' ad in the paper. Tonight though, it would be just like most nights, waiting tables, cashing up and cleaning.  Steve hoped that he would be able to put Jesse back on the schedule before long, but he knew that this week would be out of the question, at least until Rae got home.

The restaurant was very busy for a Monday night and Steve sighed. It was good that they were still so popular, but it made for long shifts, and very little sleep.

"Hi, Steve, you weren't hoping for a quiet night were you?" A young waitress called Nadine smiled at her boss as she saw him. Nadine was about nineteen years old, and had been the last person hired for the restaurant. She was a friendly girl, and the customers seemed to like her.

"It would've been nice, no chance then?"

"Nope, we just took a booking of a table for ten, they're coming in a half hour, so that will tie up the back end of the place for most of the evening, and the Radcliff's haven't come in yet."

The Radcliff's ate at Bob's every Monday evening and were usually there for an hour or two. They had been coming in for as long as Steve could remember, and were almost, as Mr. Radcliff himself said, part of the furniture. Steve always made a point of speaking with them if he was working, and he knew that Jesse did too.

"Want me to call you when they come in?"

"Yeah, that would be good, and if you need another pair of hands out here I'll do that too. If not, I'm gonna be scheduling shifts and checking the mail; all the exciting stuff. Making sauce by the look of this crowd as well, I guess."

The night progressed smoothly, and it was a little after eleven when Steve finally locked up the restaurant and went back to his car. The party of ten had been a group of surfers who had spent the day on the beach and were planning to drive back to Fresno through the night, or part of it. They had been a noisy but charming group, and Steve knew that Nadine had enjoyed serving them, and she had certainly done well in tips.

As he sat in the car Steve realised that he hadn't called Jo. Checking his watch he noticed, with a sinking feeling, that it was eleven in LA which meant it was one in the morning in Texas. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, saw the screen blinking at him, and read _two missed calls_. For a moment he wasn't sure what to do, but then he decided that he would risk it. He would either get a sleepy Jo or a grumpy Jo and he could live with that risk. Pressing in the number for her phone he leant back against his seat and waited.

Jo had spent an hour in her room before she felt calm enough to come back down stairs, but the rest of the day had been difficult to say the least, and she had retired back to her room just after ten. Jo had spoken to Michael and Daniel, but Steve hadn't been home. She had tried Bob's but kept getting the busy signal and in the end, after trying his cell phone twice, she had got ready for bed, taken one of the books that Rae had bought her at the auction out of her suitcase, climbed in between the cool cotton sheets and tried to forget the hurt she was feeling.

The chirruping sound began to intrude into her dream and Jo looked around the beach she was standing on wondering where the noise was coming from, then suddenly she realised what it was and sleepily reached out for the small flip phone that was on her nightstand.

"Jo Sloan."

"Honey, it's Steve, I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"Mmmm, what? Oh, yeah, but that's alright." Jo peered at the watch on her arm, and saw the luminous dial showing ten past one. "Is everythin' all right? It's mighty late to be callin' me."

"Everything's fine, I was busy and I forgot, I'm sorry."

"See, I've not been gone twenty-four hours an' I'm forgotten already!" Jo tried to stifle a yawn, but wasn't really successful.

"Jo, I'll go, but I just wanted to say goodnight, and I love you."

"Mmm, me too. G'night." Jo was so tired she just clicked the phone off, put it down and went straight back to sleep. Steve, still sitting in a parking lot in Los Angeles, looked at the now dead cell in his hand, smiled and shook his head, when his wife was asleep, she really didn't wake up until she had hit the showers. He knew that in the morning she would have no recollection whatsoever of their conversation, but he was still glad he'd called.

Rae had spent the last full day in Santa Barbara helping the Chief make a note of all the things that were going to the charity organisations, putting financial records into the metal file cases he had brought with him, and making sure that there was nothing further in the house that could help her in her investigation into the death of Elizabeth Masters. Rae had checked for the financial records that the dead woman had been unable to find, but so far hadn't had any luck. The Chief had decided that he needed far more time than he had allowed to go through the entire house, and so he planned to come back again the following weekend.  Rae hadn't wanted to come back up herself, she knew that she needed to be with Jesse and her girls. She was due to work the Saturday, but not the Sunday, and so she had asked if she could be excused, and to her relief that had appeared to be no problem.

By mid afternoon the following day, which was a little later than planned, the car was packed up with the things that John Masters was taking back with him, Rae had some more bank statements and financial records to go through, and she knew that most of the next day would be spent doing that and investigating the second murder Steve had picked up the first day she had been away.

They had driven back in almost total silence, but it hadn't bothered either of them. Rae was perfectly at ease now with the information she had gathered, although a little concerned at what Steve's reaction would be, and how she was going to keep it all close to her chest while carrying out the investigation, but she knew she could cope with that.

John Masters had let the car drive him back to the station. He knew the way without really thinking about it, and his mind was full of other things. He had never told anyone the things he had told Rae over the past few days, and he was surprised at how much of a burden had been lifted from him.

When the idea of an exchange scheme for police officers had been suggested to him, John Masters would be the first to admit he had been sceptical, but the day that Reagan Yeager had walked into his office he had known she would be a success. He hadn't realised, of course, just how much trouble she would get herself into, but he could see instantly that she was a good cop, and she had never let him down. As he pulled up at the end of a line of depressingly stationary looking traffic John allowed himself a glance at the woman next to him, he wasn't surprised to see that she was fast asleep, and as there seemed little chance of them moving for a while he let his mind wander back to the first day they had met.

The knock on the door had been made by Bob Mills, the desk sergeant at North Hollywood, and Chief Masters had waited a moment or two before answering.

_"Come."_

_"Excuse me, Sir; Detective Inspector Reagan Yeager of Scotland Yard is here to see you."_

_"Thank you, Sergeant, will you please show her in?" He had stood up and watched as a tiny woman had entered the room, and wondered just how she would cope on the rough streets of __Los Angeles__. "Thank you, Sergeant, that will be all." The desk sergeant, as had been his habit, had stayed just slightly longer than necessary, hoping to get a little more information than he was entitled to, but the door had closed immediately on the words and then the two of them had been alone, and he had looked at her, noticed a steely determination coupled with a little fear in her eyes, and known that she would be just fine. "Detective Inspector Yeager, please sit down."_

_"Thank you, Sir." The woman had sat in the chair opposite him, and he had wondered what she was thinking. Her face told him nothing, but he didn't feel shut out in any way._

_"Has it been explained to you that you will liaise with myself while you are here? Normally it would be the station captain, but I would rather that you dealt with my office."_

_"Yes, Sir, I was told that, and it isn't a problem. I am, however, completely trustworthy, or I wouldn't have been picked for this assignment." He could see that his words had caused the Englishwoman to bristle slightly._

_"Yes, yes, I realise that, and didn't mean to imply otherwise. I have sent one of my best officers to __London__, and it is my understanding that they have done the same in sending you here. You will be partnering with one of the most experienced detectives in this precinct, and I wish to keep myself apprised of your full six or twelve month stay." The length of the secondment hadn't been formally agreed, both forces preferring to see how the women involved felt after about five months before making a final decision._

_"I don't intend for this to be a short stay, Sir. I have made arrangements for a year's visit and that is how long I plan it to be." _

_Her voice had been firm and decisive, and for a moment he had wondered about his own daughter, she would have been a little younger than this woman in front of him, but if he and Elizabeth had stayed together, if fate hadn't dealt the hand that had snatched his family from him, would she have been a confident, self assured policewoman like Reagan Yeager? Pulling himself back to the moment he had nodded his head. "I think I ought to get your partner up to meet with you, his name is Steve Sloan, and he is a homicide lieutenant."_

_Rae had smiled then, and it had been very infectious, and he had found it difficult not to grin inanely at her. _

_"Homicide, wow!"___

_"I take it then, Detective Inspector, that I have surprised you. Detective Banks worked homicide; it seemed natural to slot you in the place she had left vacant."_

_"I see, I had no idea what department she was from, and I certainly didn't know that I would take her place, even though she is taking mine." _

_The next five minutes or so until Sloan had arrived had been small talk, and the temptation had been so strong to admit that he had worked in London, had in fact lived there for quite a while, but he had been able to resist it, and when the door had opened on the woman's new partner the moment was lost completely._

The traffic in front of him began to move and as his car eased forward Rae stirred and rubbed her eyes. "Oh, sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night; I guess it's catching up with me."

"We should be back to the station in about ten minutes or so."

"Thank you. What time is it?" Rae had checked her watch and saw that it was a little after five. "I guess we caught the rush hour, huh? Which is a really daft thing to call it, we are hardly rushing now are we?" Rae saw the beginnings of a smile on her boss's face, "Stupid language!"

The Chief just nodded, until he had disappeared into his memories he hadn't realised how much Rae's accent had changed. She still wouldn't be accepted as an American born and bred, but she wouldn't be spotted as a Londoner any more either.

"Would you mind if I called Jesse? Just to let him know I'll be a little late?"

"Of course not, Detective."

The call made, the Chief's car had been silent again until it had drawn into the parking lot at the precinct, and he had eased into his reserved spot. Rae had unstrapped herself, and pulled her bag out from the back seat before looking at her boss.

"I'll get started on the research to go with what I found in the morning, I hope that I will be able to solve this soon so that it doesn't cause you any more pain than it already has. And I promise you if I can keep your revelations secret then I will do so."

"Thank you, Rae. I'm leaving town again in the morning, but I'll be available next Monday to discuss your findings so far."

"Yes, Sir." With that Rae headed into the station, stopping only to put her bag in Tom's trunk and within twenty minutes she was back out again and on her way to the hospital.

Jesse had received a call from Rae to let him know that she would be arriving back from Santa Barbara about an hour later than planned, and would call in on her way home. He'd tried to sound enthusiastic, although he wasn't sure if he succeeded or not, and he knew that he would also try to seem pleased to see her.

He had been working for about eight hours when, just as he was signing out a patient at the desk in the ER he heard footsteps behind him, and before he had the chance to turn, planning to put a smile on his face as he did so, he felt a pair of hands as they were placed over his eyes.

For a second Jesse fought down the panic, he knew who it was, so there was no problem, and then knowing what he should do, what she would want him to do, he turned, eyes closed and began to kiss her.

Rae had parked Tom in the parking lot with a smile. She'd had her new car for two weeks now, and still no one had noticed. It was exactly the same as the first one, except, of course, for the number plate. Rae wondered how long it would be before anyone would say anything, or whether she would burst before then and ask if anyone cared.

Running her fingers through her hair, and trying to tell herself that Jesse really would have missed her, she made her way into the main entrance of the hospital and waited for the elevator. It seemed to take an age to arrive, and Rae could see from the display that it had travelled down to the ER and back again to get her. There was no one else with her in the car and so she leant against the wall and tried to relax, put the last few days behind her and behave as Jesse wanted her to, and give him some leeway.

All that was forgotten though as she exited the elevator and saw her husband … in the arms of another woman, kissing her deeply. "Jesse!" Rae's voice came out loud and she could hear the shock in it.

Jesse heard his name being called and opened his eyes. "Susan … Rae? Susan!" Jesse looked at the woman he had just kissed, and then his wife, standing in stunned silence by the elevator, and then back at the woman in front of him, he had missed her so much. "No, Rae, wait." He realised that his cry was belated, and then he heard the ping of the elevator as Rae disappeared and although he made his way, a little hesitantly, over to it and banged on the doors there was no way to call it back.

She couldn't believe it, she knew that he'd been distant with her, hadn't wanted her to touch him, hug him, anything, but another woman? She had never thought that the reason was another woman. With tears almost blinding her Rae made her way back to her car, put it into drive and, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, sped out of the parking lot, not bothering to think where she was going, but knowing that she had to get away, as far away as she could, from what she had just witnessed.

Jesse had pressed the button on the elevator, but it had returned empty, and knowing that he wouldn't be able to catch her now, and, if he was honest, not sure if he wanted to, he had turned with a smile to the woman by the desk, moved back towards her and taken her hand in his. "Susan, what are you doing here? You should have called."

"I wanted it to be a surprise. How are you?"

"I'm fine… shocked to see you, but fine."

"Ooh, I would have said pleased to see me, actually." Susan smiled, and Jesse remembered what she used to do to him. He checked his watch.

"I need to make a call and then I can take a break, would you like a coffee?"

"Sure, that would be lovely." Susan smiled and Jesse just looked at her, she had left him, married someone else, _so have you, remember, _but it was so good to see her. Jesse looked at the phone in front of him on the reception desk and picked up the receiver, he stood holding it for a minute or two knowing he should call, but having no idea what to do or say once he had done that. He knew he had hurt Rae, that she had seen him kiss someone else when he was married to her, but he just couldn't deal with his wife right now, she made him think of things he didn't want to dwell on, remember things he needed to forget, no it was better if he didn't call, he would talk to her, but later, he'd talk with her later. Finally with a heavy sigh he put the receiver back down and smiled at Susan again. "You ready?"

"Yeah, but what about the lady in the elevator? She seemed upset."

"She'll get over it," at least he hoped she would. "Besides I'm on duty right now, and you aren't naïve, you know who she is."

"I have no idea who she is. Jess, I have spent the last God knows how many years solving the back problems of the people of Kuwait. I haven't kept in touch with anyone, I guess I left too suddenly for that, so who is she?"

Jesse had felt his heart lighten with every word. She knew nothing, nothing of what had happened, "No one, not that you need to worry about now anyway, I'll tell you about her again. Come and have a drink, I want to hear all your news." And then without another word he pulled her with him towards the doctor's lounge, and the other members of staff in the ER watched them go in stunned silence.

The attic at the Walters ranch was, Jo knew, larger than most peoples' homes. The actual house itself was enormous, having ten bedrooms, an indoor swimming pool, games rooms, music room, in fact Jo had a feeling that any hobby you chose there would be a room ready and waiting for you to do it in. The attic covered the same area as the house and was also split up into rooms. Jo stood just inside the main doorway and looked around her, she had no idea what was up here, but it was all hers. Jo's grandmamma had been delighted when Jo was born, and the fact that she was a girl was an added bonus. When Jo had arrived in Los Angeles after travelling the world she had found that her grandmamma had passed away and she was now the heir to all she had owned.

David had been given the company to run, but Jo was the major stockholder. That way Florence Walters had reckoned that neither of them would be in a position to do anything drastic without agreement from the other. Everything else, apart from various personal items, had been left to Jo. All the property, and there was an enormous amount of it, bringing in more money each month, stocks and shares in both successful and not so successful companies, Jo also owned land not only in Texas but in California too. She even had a stake in film companies and Broadway theatres.

All of this meant that, if she chose to, she could throw David and Miss Prissy Knickers out of the ranch and move in herself and there was nothing he could do about it. Jo knew however, that he loved the house, and she had already decided to give it to him as a wedding present. But not before she had cleared the attic, and so she stood, hands on hips, looking at over a hundred years of … well, she wasn't sure yet what it was.

With a deep sigh Jo began to move across the first room, at least everything was kept neat and tidy. It was clear though that none of the boxes had been opened in a very long time, and she had a feeling that the further back through the rooms she went the older the containers would become. For a moment Jo sat down on a conveniently sized crate and thought of her husband. She loved him more than she thought possible. He had totally changed her life and she knew that now it had a meaning, a purpose; she was no longer just a rich girl floating along on a tide of dollars, she was a wife, a mom and she had a reason to wake up each day. It hadn't been lost on her that until she was married she hadn't even considered turning out the attic in LA, and she knew that without his support she would never be doing what her grandmamma had asked her to, which was, albeit reluctantly, investigate her parents death.

"An' sittin' here won't get you anywhere near the end of the attic, let alone where grandmamma wanted you to be, so get movin' girl." Jo stood up, brushed the dust off her jeans, pulled a scarf out of her pocket and tied it around her hair, then she opened the door to the room just in front of her, turned on the light and continued her journey into the past.

After what seemed like hours, although in reality she didn't how long she'd been driving, Rae pulled Tom off the road and into a parking lot by the beach. She had no real idea where she was, but that didn't matter. Her phone was in her pocket, but it had remained silent for the entire journey, _he didn't even call me._ Rae thought about the woman in her husband's arms. _Susan, he called her Susan, and he said her name first, and last, he said it twice to my once._ Suddenly her phone began to ring and she jumped. The display said 'Steve' and so she picked it up, looked at it, opened it, and barked into it. "Not now, Steve." And then she closed it down and threw it out of the car window with all her might and collapsed onto the steering wheel, sobbing.

Jo had investigated nine rooms, and she thought she knew how Howard Carter had felt as he worked his way through Tutankhamen's tomb, it didn't matter to her what was in the boxes she just knew that they were all treasures. She had been a little disappointed that four of the rooms had been completely empty, but she could also tell that they had always been that way, and she guessed that even a hoarder like her grandmamma would have been hard pressed to fill every inch of attic space.

Jo had decided not to open anything, but label and number it all and ship it back to LA. That way she would be with Steve and Daniel, and she would have the benefit of Michael's help too. Michael, Jo wondered idly whether his legacy was here somewhere? She had no idea what it was, but she hoped that she would find it. Jo moved towards the last door and pressed down the handle. To her surprise it was locked. None of the other doors, apart from the first one had been sealed in this way, and her curiosity was piqued.

Jo tried the handle a couple more times, but it was definitely locked, and so she began to make her way back towards the main entrance to the loft, she needed to get a pad and some labels, then she could begin the mammoth task of removing all these packages. The journey back to the first room seemed to take a far shorter time than she had imagined it would, probably because she ignored the empty rooms, and she moved towards the door with a smile. The smile disappeared however, when she realized that this door too was now locked and, as she had left the key in the outside of it, she had no means of escape.


	7. Desperate Times

**Chapter Seven – Desperate Times   **

Rae wasn't sure how long she had been sitting in Tom with her head against the wheel. She might even have fallen asleep because her crying had been heartfelt and exhausting. She came to with a start and turned the key in the ignition, put the car into reverse and began to move towards the exit of the parking lot. The large overhead street lamp, which illuminated the height and width restrictions sign, momentarily blinded her, and Rae ran her hand over her eyes and moved tentatively into the road.  As she did so a bright light blinded her again, this time in her rear view mirror, and she came to a halt.

The beam was dimmed and then she was suddenly dazzled and a loud rapping scared her fully awake almost instantly. Peering carefully through the glass Rae's heart sank as she saw a uniformed officer standing there with a flashlight in his hand and she lowered the window.

"Are you ok, Ma'am?"

"Yes, yes, I am, thank you." Rae rubbed her face realising that she probably looked a state, and her eyes would give away her earlier tears.

"Could you please pull over to the side of the road, Ma'am?"

"Um, ok, why don't I just back it into the lot instead?  Get off the road completely?"  When she had been in uniform, Rae had hated dealing with people along the roadside.  The thought of other cars whizzing by in such close proximity had always been a little unnerving. 

The officer gave her an appraising look and nodded.  "That might be a good idea, Ma'am," he said with a sniff.

Rae sighed, there seemed little point in asking why until she had done as she was asked, and so, putting Tom back into reverse again, she manoeuvred, a little shakily, she had to admit, until she was facing the right way, and then parked by an overhead light and waited.

The police car pulled up beside her and the same officer got out. As he did so Rae switched on the interior light and turned off the engine, then she placed the keys on the dashboard and rested her hands back on the steering wheel where they had only a little while before cradled her head.

"You've been stopped before, have you, Ma'am?"

Rae just glared at him. "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"I hope not, would you please step out of the car and show me some form of ID, and your vehicle documentation?" The cop shone his light at her, dazzling her again, and then as he moved the beam slightly Rae could see the shadow of his hand hovering where his gun would be.

"Sure." Slowly Rae eased herself out of the car, noticing for the first time that there were a few empty beer bottles and cans near where she was standing, and then she put her hand into her trousers and drew out her wallet. "I have my drivers licence." Rae held the leather case so that the card was showing in the flashlight's beam and felt it being taken from her.

"Ok, Mrs Travis, would you like to tell me what you are doing in this parking lot at almost midnight?"

"Midnight? I must have fallen asleep. I'll just drive home, I'm sorry to have caused you a problem."

"Do you have proof of ownership of this vehicle?" The voice of the officer was curt and Rae began to realise that it may not be as simple as just driving home.

"It's in the glove compartment, can I get it?"

"Sure."

Rae leant into the car and opened the catch on the small box. The documents were the only thing in there and so she handed them over quickly.

"Thank you." The officer seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to check them. "They seem to be in order, Ma'am, but I'll need to breathalyse you."

"Why? I wasn't driving, I was sleeping." Rae felt a large black hole appear in the pit of her stomach.

"Yes, Ma'am, I realise that, but you could have been sleeping it off. You can leave your car here and accompany me to the station, or we can do it right now." The officer took a smaller flashlight out of his pocket and pointed it at Rae. "Can you follow this light?"

"I AM NOT DRUNK!" Rae finally lost her temper. "Listen, **_Officer_, **I haven't had a drink for over twenty years, which, I think, puts me in the category of stone cold sober! Now, if you will excuse me, I have children to get home to." Rae turned to move back towards her car, but the heel of her boot caught on the edge of a beer can and she twisted her ankle over. "Arghhh."

"Ma'am, I can either breathalyse you here or at the station, and if you resist any longer I will arrest you."

Rae hadn't thought that her day could get any worse, but now she knew that it could. She also knew that owning up to the fact that she was a cop at this late stage would only make matters worse. So far this very enthusiastic young man hadn't seen either her ID or her gun, and she hoped that she could keep it that way. "Is it all right if I just lock up my car and get my purse?"

"Yes, Ma'am." The officer watched as Rae did just that, and then waited for her to put her keys away. Rae made sure that they were safe inside her jacket and then she did it up, also making sure that her weapon was well hidden. As she turned from the car though Rae ran her hands through her hair and her coat moved up showing the holster of her gun and the next thing Rae knew she felt her hands being pulled behind her. 

"Hey!" Rae got no more words out before she was slammed against the side of her car, the enthusiastic officer obviously taking no chances. Her bag was taken from her and she felt her gun being removed and knew that things had gone far enough, but before she could say anything else her wrists were encased in handcuffs, she was being frisked, and the memory of the manacles she had worn in jail threatened to overwhelm her. Rae pulled herself back together just enough to realise that her badge was in her purse, the pants she was wearing weren't ones she usually wore for work and she hadn't wanted to spoil them.  As she was escorted to the black and white which was waiting for her Rae saw that the name on the cop's badge was Jerkovsky and she knew that whatever day it now was it was gonna be a long one.

Jesse and Susan had sat and talked about old times for just over a half hour before he knew he really should get back to work. The look of hurt on Rae's face was beginning to leave a feeling of guilt resting in the pit of his stomach, and he also knew he would have a lot of explaining to do. Although it was his first week back on duty, and he had been scheduled to work only a few hours at a time, Wil Collins had fallen foul of a, hopefully, twenty-four hour bug, so Jesse had worked a double shift. Now though, it was just after midnight and he was driving himself home.

Sally had agreed to have the girls overnight because of Jesse's long shift, and the uncertainty of Rae's return, and so he headed straight towards Beverly Hills, knowing that Rae would probably be waiting for him. The driveway was empty though, and all the lights in the house, apart from the security ones, were off. With a feeling of dread as well as guilt now accompanying him Jesse unlocked the front door and entered his home.

"Rae? Rae, are you here?" Jesse didn't really know why he was calling out; it was obvious that the house was empty. For a moment Jesse felt panic stricken. Why wasn't Rae home? She was supposed to be there, waiting for him, she had been away for three days and now she wasn't here. But then he realised that she would have been here, with him, if he'd known that the woman kissing him wasn't his wife. The feeling of guilt deepened, he _had_ known, as soon as he began kissing her he'd known it wasn't Rae, but it had felt so good, like finding a favourite sweater years after losing it, and he hadn't wanted to stop.

Now though, all that was secondary to needing to know why Rae wasn't here. His mind was reeling, she was always where she should be, and now she wasn't, and it was his fault. Jesse looked at the telephone on the table in the hallway, but instead of moving towards it he found himself backing further and further away. The door to the breakfast room stopped his journey, but still he didn't know what to do. _Steve, you could call Steve … no, no, Steve knows, can't call Steve. Mark, no, not Mark, he'll worry … Amanda, no, Ron would know, he can't know, no one, there is no one to call._ With a sob escaping him Jesse slid down the door behind him, put his head in his hands, and waited.

Pacific Community Police Station wasn't very busy, it was after midnight and Rae guessed that the beaches and airport would be quiet. She stood in silence with Jerkovsky holding tightly to her arm and waited to see what would happen next.

"If you would like to come with me, Ma'am, we'll get this started." Officer Jerkovsky looked at Rae a little closer, now they were in the light, there was something familiar about her, but he wasn't sure what.  He had been alone in his patrol car and so he had put her in the back and driven to the station before searching her purse.

"What we'll do is get this finished, Officer." Rae's tone was now short and curt, and she wished she'd flashed her ID at him right at the beginning of the ordeal, but she knew that he was well within his rights to have done what he did, and it wasn't his fault he'd found her just after she had discovered her husband cheating on her with another woman. Rae closed her eyes for a moment to try to bring herself back to the moment, but all she succeeded in doing was bringing up the picture in her mind of Jesse and Susan kissing. She swayed a little and opened her eyes quickly.

"Ma'am?"

"I'm sorry, Officer, it's been a very long day, let's get this done." Rae felt the need to run her hands through her hair again, but as that was impossible she just waited while Jerkovsky began his search of her purse.

"You're a cop?" He held her badge in his hand.

Rae nodded her head. "Yep."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"Why should I? Would it have made any difference? It shouldn't have."

"No, Ma'am. But you obviously have a good reason for carrying a weapon, I'm sorry, Officer Travis." He hastily removed the restraints and watched as his ex-prisoner rubbed at her wrists.

"That is Detective, Officer, Detective Reagan Yeager." Rae finally pulled her ID out of her pocket and showed it to the young man.

"I knew I recognized you."

"Hmmm, shame you didn't mention that earlier."

"Yes, Ma'am, now, if you'd like to follow me?" Jerkovsky indicated with his hand and she walked along side him down the hallway.

Just over an hour later Rae climbed out of a black and white in the parking lot and felt the rest of her reserve of energy leave her. Her little car, new and red and shiny was now trashed. The windows had been broken, she was absolutely sure the stereo would be miles away by now and, just to add insult to injury, her Gladstone bag had been slashed open and her clothes were lying across the tarmac of the lot. In the middle of all this destruction lay two photo frames, both obviously broken by the heel of a boot, one of Jesse and the other with a picture of Eliana and Anneya in. Because Jerkovsky had been alone he had called in the fact that he was leaving a vehicle in the parking lot and requested back up to search it, Rae could see the police aware sticker on the windshield, or what was left of the windshield.

Rae felt the tears rush into her eyes, but she forced them back. "Oh God, look at my car."

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry, is there any one we can call for you?" To Rae's relief Officer Jerkovsky had been unavailable to take her back to the parking lot, and so she had grabbed a ride with a two man crew who were returning to duty after bringing in a genuine drunk driver. The cop who had spoken to Rae was called Jade Gamble, and Rae could hear the sadness in her voice. The other officer, who was still in the car, had begun to call in the vandalization of her vehicle.

"Yeah, you could call my hus … no, maybe my partner?"

"Sure, Lieutenant Sloan, right?"

Rae smiled, "Of course, I forget his reputation precedes him!"

"Yes, Ma'am, but yours does too!" Jade looked a little embarrassed.

"You know I have no idea of his cell number, or his home, they're on my phone, and I, well, I got a bit cross with it earlier, most of it is over there on the floor."

"Let's see if we can find your sim card then." Jade grabbed her flashlight from her belt, and they moved across, carefully avoiding the devastation around them.

It didn't take long, before Rae found the small red piece of card that held her telephonic life in its centre. "Is this the same network as you?" Rae held it up and saw Jade nod her head. She wasn't surprised, most cops used the same one, it was more cost effective.

"I'll take mine out, put yours in and then you can phone him yourself." Jade did just that, and five minutes later Rae was waiting for Steve to answer her call.

Jesse had no idea what the time was when he heard a key in the lock, but it was dark, and then suddenly the area was lit up, and Jesse knew he was in terrible danger.

_'Well, Doctor Travis, no one else can help you now… How do you like your accommodations…? Do you really think you are going to get out of this alive…? They've left you, they've all left you.'_

"NO!" Jesse screamed out, the voices were all around him, he couldn't back away, the door was shut, but there was a hall table right by him and it had a large fruit bowl on it. Standing up, Jesse grabbed two apples and threw them at the shadows, and then two more, and again and again until they were all gone. "No, no, go away … please … go away … please … don't hurt me." Jesse felt all his energy drain out of him, he slid back down the door, but this time, unable to sit he collapsed onto the floor shaking.

Rae and Steve looked at each other in horror, both ducking as the fruit came flying at them. "Oh, God, Jesse." Rae forgot all about the pain she had felt, the betrayal, the awful night she'd had since and moved closer to her husband. All she knew now was that he was hurting, terribly, and she wanted to help him.

Jesse saw the feet on the floor coming closer, and he knew he had to get away. The chains had gone, he was free to leave his cage, and so getting to his hands and knees he pushed himself up and began to run.

_'You can get away, Travis, I'll let you go, but she needs you, and if you leave her she WILL die."_

Jesse realized that he had no place left to go, the walls came up all around him, there were doors, but he didn't know where they went, which one should he choose? If he went in through the wrong one they would take him away, the ground would shake, like an earthquake, everybody would leave him and someone would take him away. _Too long, you're thinking too long, they're coming, coming for you, coming, coming, coming._

He began to run again, back the way he had come, there must be a way out, if he could just get out into the open, out into the air, he would be safe, they had never taken him into the air except to let him go, so they wouldn't know where to find him, air, he needed air.

Steve couldn't believe what he was seeing, Jesse was totally unaware of them, or at least of who they were and was terrified. Steve went to move closer to his friend, but felt Rae's hand on his arm. "No, Steve, wait." As he carried on watching he saw Jesse reach the end of the hallway. There were three doors and, if Steve remembered correctly, one went into the library, one to a study and the other to a small room that Rae had been considering turning into an office.

As they watched both Rae and Steve could see that Jesse was looking around him, as if he didn't know what to do, and then suddenly he darted at them, he came back up the hallway, running in a frantic manner, and he began to talk, to babble, but it wasn't nonsense, it was the same thing over and over.

They were still there, waiting for him, but if he could just get past them, just get out. "Air, I need air, air is good, safe, air is safe."  Now he knew what to do Jesse was filled with new resolve, if he could get past these people, he would be ok. One of them was smaller than the other, he was small, he'd go for that one. _Push,__ if you push you will get to the air, just push._

Rae saw Jesse change direction in front of her, and then before she was able to respond he pushed at her, she felt his hands, or his fists, as they made contact with her stomach and she doubled up in pain and shock.

"Jesse!" Steve barked out his friend's name as he saw Rae fall to the floor. He could tell from her demeanor that she was only winded, and so he ignored her and concentrated on his friend.

"Jesse!"

_My name, they know my name, no, I have to get away. _"I'll never tell, let me go and I'll never tell." Jesse's voice had panic coursing through it.__

Steve knew that he had to intervene, had to stop his friend from hurting himself or others, and so he moved quickly and decisively towards him, lowering his voice and speaking to him all the time as he did so.

"Jess, it's me, it's Steve. Come on, Buddy, you need to stop, let me help you." Steve was almost on him now. Jesse had stopped running, but only because once again he had run out of room. The kitchen door was behind him, and as Jesse leant into it, it fell open behind him and he disappeared. "Dammit!"

Out of the corner of his eye Steve saw Rae getting to her knees, he moved cautiously into the kitchen, turning the light on as he did so. Jesse was in the middle of the room, looking wildly about him, and Steve knew that, once again, he was searching for a weapon.

As he watched, Jesse backed away a little more and then saw what he needed. He held his hand out in front of him, and the kitchen light glinted off the steel of the steak knife he had in his hand.

"Stay away! I have to get out into the air, into the air." Jesse swept the knife in an arc in front of him, and Steve had to jump back.

"Jesse, I don't want to hurt you, but you have to give me the knife." Steve moved a little further forward, wondering where Rae was, and hoping that she was calling for backup, medical as well as cops.

Rae couldn't believe that Jesse had hit her, and hard enough to knock the air out of her and send her to the floor. Gradually she had regained her breath, climbed to her knees and then her feet. She moved closer to the kitchen, where she had seen Steve and Jesse disappear and as she did so she heard her partner speak.

"Jesse, I don't want to hurt you, but you have to give me the knife."

Rae knew that it had gone too far, that they needed help, and so she moved over to the phone and with a very heavy heart dialled 911. She gave the details as succinctly as she could and then put the phone down, even though she knew that really she should have stayed on the line. But it became apparent instantly that she had done the right thing, because, as she turned, she heard Steve cry out.

"Arghhh, Jesse, no … Jesse, no! Arghhhh."

Rae heard the second scream as she rushed in through the door and saw Steve backing away as he clamped his left hand over his right arm, but not before Rae saw the blood spurting high into the air out of two wounds. She looked at her husband, he seemed unaffected by what he had done, and she knew that somehow she had to either restrain him or get the weapon off him.

"Jesse, give me the knife, Honey." Rae too, lowered her voice, and as she spoke her husband took his eyes off of his friend and turned to her.

"Rae? Is that you?" Jesse blinked rapidly a few times and then he seemed almost to wake up and he let the blade fall to the floor. "What … what happened?" Jesse turned and saw Steve, his face ashen, and his training took over for a while. "Rae, get me something to put over his wound, anything at all, did you call 911?" Rae nodded her head and looked around, she knew that Steve had a severed artery, and so she didn't argue.

Jesse moved towards his friend and was concerned to see him back away, suddenly he realised why. "Oh, God, Rae, leave that, come here… put pressure on his arm, keep it tight so that you can slow down the flow… Steve, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Jesse's strength began to leave him again, his legs slowly gave out under him and he collapsed gently to the floor, where he wrapped his arms around himself and began to rock.

Mark was about ready to drop. He had been sure that he would have a quiet night, it was a Wednesday after all, there was no reason to suppose that, bar fire and flood, and he'd dealt with both of those many times, it wouldn't be the same as most Wednesdays. The rest of Los Angeles seemed to have a completely different idea about it though, and he'd dealt with everything from a broken leg caused by roller blades, and he knew what Steve would say about that, through to a concussion caused by a cake tin, full apparently, falling off the top of a cupboard. So, when it got to two thirty and he had five minutes to himself Mark had made his way gratefully to the doctor's lounge for a cup of coffee and a little peace.****

Everyone had been talking about Jesse and Susan, and how Rae had come out of the elevator to see the two of them necking. It was a silly word, but it was the right one. Mark couldn't understand it, how could Jesse kiss Susan when he was with Rae, they had two wonderful children and a marriage that most men would give up their own wives for? If it wasn't so late at night he would call to see if everything was alright, but hopefully Jesse and Rae would have had a chance to talk and they would both be fast asleep right now. Mark checked his watch, drained his coffee in one gulp and with a sigh stood up and stretched his aching back.

"_Doctor Sloan to the ER, STAT; Doctor Mark Sloan to the ER, STAT."_

With a groan Mark headed for the door where he was stopped by Shannon. "Doctor Sloan, the EMT's called ahead, there are two ambulances coming in, one has Steve in it, the other has Jesse… They want psychiatric staff on hand for him and … and Steve has lost a lot of blood."

Mark didn't say anything, he had no idea what to say and so he just broke into a run and headed for the ambulance bay, knowing that for Steve it had to be bad, and for Jesse to need that type of assistance it had to be cataclysmic.


	8. The First Cut is the Deepest

**Chapter Eight – The First Cut Is the Deepest**

_'Doctor Martin to the ER STAT, Doctor Alex Martin to the ER STAT.'_

Alex had been hoping for five minutes at least to speak with Mark, they hadn't had a chance to talk much since he had returned to work late that afternoon, but now he knew it wasn't to be. He'd heard Mark's name being called, and then his; he guessed they were in for a long night.

As he turned the corner towards the ER Alex saw Mark, who appeared to be on the phone, and Shannon heading towards the ambulance bay, and increasing his stride a little he followed them.

"Mark, why are you coming this way?"

He saw the older doctor jump at his words, and realized, belatedly, that his arrival had been unnoticed.

"Alex, it's Steve in the ambulance, and Rae with Jesse." Mark's words were a little shaky, and Shannon lightly touched his arm.

For a moment Alex didn't want to think. If they were here in the bay then maybe Mark thought Steve wouldn't make it to the ER. "It's bad, isn't it, Mark?"

"I think so … the EMT said that Steve … Steve lost a lot of blood at the scene, wherever that was, and Jesse needs to see Doctor Yung, his therapist. I called her on my cell phone, but she isn't home, I … I don't know what else to do."

Alex was alarmed to see that Mark was so uncertain about his responsibilities and he hoped that once their patients arrived he would click back into doctor mode. "You said Rae is with Jesse, so he isn't alone?"

"Alex, Honey, I spoke to them and all they said was that Steve was in one ambulance and Doctor Travis and his wife were in another." Shannon had moved across and gently taken his hand. He had shivered slightly, wondering whether it was her fingers that caused it or the draft as it whipped up his white coat. He didn't think he'd actually waited right out in the bay before, but this time he didn't want to be any place else.

The first ambulance arrived, and Mark was immediately the consummate professional. As the doors were opened it was clear that the patient was Steve and, knowing that he needed to treat either Jesse or Rae, Mark just looked at his son, trying to ignore his pallor and the amount of blood on his body and then quickly kissed his forehead, thankful that he knew all those around him well enough to be able to do so. "Take care of him, Alex; he's in your hands now."

Alex knew that the comment hadn't been intended to put pressure on him in fact he realised that it had the opposite effect. He felt honoured that Mark trusted him enough that he would let him treat Steve when he was so badly hurt, and confident that he could do enough to save him.

"Report." Alex looked at the EMT nearest to him, he knew his name was Jim, and he listened intently to his words.

"We have a forty-five year old male, Caucasian, Steve Sloan; he has deep wounds to his right arm, causing arterial bleeding. Pressure dressings have been applied, but breathing is shallow, heart rate ragged." By the time Jim had finished speaking they were at the door to the trauma suite and as they were pushed aside Alex and the two other men entered the room. Steve was placed next to the gurney Alex would use and the two nurses in the room moved closer to the beds.

"Ok, on my mark … one, two, three … mark." Steve was moved, gently but swiftly and then, with a nod in their direction, Alex dismissed the EMT's and forgot them instantly, although their words still reverberated around his head.

"He's in shock, I want two large bore IV's, on his left side, with lactated ringers, two units of O neg blood stat, type and cross-match him for another six units of whole blood, check his records too. Get him covered up and his feet raised, let's move it!" Alex had been delighted to see everybody jump at his words and, his concentration at its highest level; he began to try to save his friend.

Mark had watched as Steve was wheeled away and then he saw Rae getting out of the next ambulance, and as she saw Mark her eyes filled with tears.  She moved to stand with her friend, put her hand out and Mark smiled at her.

He made sure that he held her hand in his, not tightly, but with just enough pressure for her to know he was listening to her.

"Mark, help him, please. He didn't know what he was doing … he couldn't have known, please help him, I need him back …" Her tears slid down her cheeks then, and she covered her mouth with her other hand, and Mark, still having no idea what had happened, just nodded.

The phone rang insistently in the Walter's ranch, where everyone was asleep. "Someone needs to get that." David's sleepy voice floated out towards no one in particular.

"Oh, for goodness sakes, can't anyone else hear this monster?"  Debbie pushed up her sleep mask, leant over her fiancée and picked up the phone, her eyes looking skywards. "Walters Ranch … Well, hello, Mark, how's every little thin'? … Oh, my, an' are they all alright now? No … no, I know that she'll be just devastated … I'll be sure an' tell her, an' I just know she'll be right on home… Mark, you give that poor chil' my love, now, y'hear?"

Once he had the epinephrine flowing into Steve's system, Alex had sent his patient to the OR for the surgeon on duty to stitch the wounds to the arm and the veins. He'd arranged to have him transferred to the ICU, knowing that Mark would sit with him all night, and keep an eye on his condition, but Alex recognised, with a heavy heart, that Steve might not make it that far.

Jesse had, according to the message Shannon passed to Alex, been treated in the ER by Mark, and he had arranged for him to spend what was left of the night in a private room, no doubt with Rae watching over him, but first Alex had insisted in checking her over too.

He moved into the trauma suite, where Rae was sitting covered in blood, and obviously at least mildly shocked. As soon as Rae saw him she began to shake and tears started to fall. "Alex, where's Jesse, did Mark look after him? I asked him to, and Steve, he lost so much blood, Alex, I helped, I did what Jesse told me to … but he … he did it … Oh, God, Alex, what's wrong with him? What's wrong with my Jesse?" Rae lost control of herself, she began to rock on the bed, and Alex wondered whether he would have to sedate her.

"Nurse?"

"Doctor, Mrs Travis has been severely traumatised, but she has no injuries."

Rae was still getting worse, she was losing herself in the panic and even though Alex was used to getting through to Rae in emergency situations this time he knew that unless he reached her very soon he would have no chance.

"Jesse, no, Jesse, he … he kissed someone else, and … oh, God, Alex, why did it happen? I … I don't understand."

Alex looked round and saw Shannon coming out of the elevator, and he realised that she had accompanied Mark to see Jesse to his room. "Nurse Farley, could you please come here?"

"Yes, Doctor." Shannon smiled as she got closer to him, but that was all, they would keep their relationship totally professional, as they always did when working together. For a minute or two they conversed and then Alex moved back over to where Rae was lying.

"Rae, Shannon's here, she knows about Jesse, can you hear me, Honey? She knows where he is."

Rae seemed to come back to them a little and she focused on Shannon. "What … why did this happen? We were just going home, and he was so scared, I would never hurt him, why did he do this? Steve, he bled so much, and it was an artery, I know it was … and it spurted … in my kitchen, it spurted everywhere … and … Alex, did we save him ... how will Jesse feel if he has killed his best friend?" The last few words had been so quiet that both Alex and Shannon had struggled to hear them, but they had felt so for her.

Shannon placed her hand on top of Rae's, she didn't see her very often but she knew that Rae wouldn't mind the contact. "Jesse is in room 3939, Mark had him admitted, and he is going to arrange for Doctor Yung to see him in the morning, Rae, he seemed a little distant, like he didn't remember why he was here." Shannon turned away knowing that her words had hurt, and wishing she hadn't had to say them.

Jesse had woken up with a start and for a moment he had no idea where he was, but then he saw the familiar nightstand, felt the regulation sheets underneath him and knew that he was in the hospital. He wasn't sure why, but he felt safe and secure and his eyelids began to droop. Jesse heard the door open, and the light from outside was bright, throwing a shadow across the figure that entered the room, his heart rate soared, he felt a scream in his throat and he had no idea what to do.

The OR had been tense as Steve was wheeled in and everyone knew that they needed to stitch him up because otherwise he would bleed to death. "Ok, people, this needs to be done quickly, I want updates continually on BP, oxygen levels, hell, I even want to know how fast his hair's growing, let's do this." Wil Collins was an experienced trauma surgeon and he knew that once he could get to the arm of this patient, he couldn't think of him as Steve, he would have no problems, but he just had to stay alive long enough.

The room was quiet but totally focussed, and as the beeps and shushes took on a reassuring steadiness Wil began his work. He had no idea how much time he had, but he guessed it might not be quite long enough.

Rae had gone up to see her husband after Alex had treated and released her, and much to her surprise Mark had been with Jesse, but he had admitted that he was keeping busy because he couldn't sit still, and so he was spending his time with his friend. Mark said that something had happened to upset Jesse, that as he had opened the door to enter the room Jesse had panicked, the machines had gone haywire, and they'd had no choice but to sedate him.

Rae had stayed with Jesse for just over a half hour, but in the end she had realised that her ordeal was beginning to catch up with her and she knew she needed to go home, if only for a little while.

Alex had driven Rae home just after four in the morning and insisted on going into the house with her. The yellow police tapes had been removed and she had called the station on Alex's cell to check it was ok for her to enter her home.__

"Rae, do you want me to stay with you?" Alex could see that she was pale and looking a little anxious.

"No, no, I'll be fine. I'm going to go straight to bed, but I can come back in the morning can't I?"

"I signed you off work tomorrow, so you do just what you feel up to, ok?"

Rae nodded her head, and then stood on tip toe to kiss Alex on the cheek. "Thank you for bringing me home. I'll see you later." Rae watched Alex leave and then with a sigh she closed her front door and stood in the hallway.

The memories of the evening were trying to get to the front of her mind, but Rae used all of her police training and compartmentalised what had happened. She knew she had told Alex she would go to bed, but before she could even think of doing that she had to clean up her kitchen and hallway, but now it was just a job, just a household chore that needed to be completed. Rae ran up the stairs and into her bedroom, she pulled off the scrub top that Alex had given her to replace her shirt and shoved it into the laundry basket. She took a grey sweatshirt out of the closet and shrugged herself into it. Rae felt her head begin to throb, so she rummaged about in the drawer in her nightstand until she found some painkillers which she took downstairs again with her.

As she stood at the bottom of the beautiful mahogany staircase with its deep red carpet Rae could see the blood from footprints on the black and white tiled hallway floor and she knew that the kitchen would be worse. With a deep sigh Rae took her courage in both hands and moved over towards and then through the kitchen door. The sight that greeted her was still a shock, there was so much blood and it had landed on almost every surface. Detaching herself from her surroundings once more Rae took her headache tablets and then got a bucket and mop from the utility room, then she filled the bucket with hot water and the Mop n Glow and began to clean the floor. It soon became clear that however much she cleaned the stain would not come out of the grout between the tiles, and she would either have to retile the floor or have the grout replaced.

The fronts of the cupboards and the counters didn't take as long, and soon the kitchen was as clean as it was going to get. Rae checked the clock and realised that it was almost six in the morning. She knew that Alex was starting work again at seven and that if she arrived just after that she might be able to find out how Jesse and Steve were. Telling herself that she needed to be up and about again at half seven Rae lay down on the sofa in the breakfast room, pulled the throw off the back and over herself, then she closed her eyes and tried to think happy thoughts.

__

The waiting room outside the OR was cold and barren in the early morning light. Mark checked his watch, it was a little before seven, he had made sure that Jesse was sedated and calm, finished his phone calls, drunk two cups of coffee and now all he could do was wait. There was nothing else to do. With a sigh he got to his feet, somehow if he was moving he didn't feel so desperate. He went over to the small table underneath the window and began to neaten up the magazines, once he had done that he straightened the pictures on the walls, something, he had to do something. He turned suddenly, hearing a noise and there, in the doorway was Daniel, with Michael standing just behind him.

"Grandpa."

The one word almost broke his heart and he held his arms out as the, suddenly very young, boy ran to him.

"Shhh, it's ok, he'll be ok." Mark said a silent prayer that he wouldn't be made a liar and then looked up at the Englishman standing just a little way away from them. "Michael, thank you for bringing him, I just couldn't leave.

"That is quite alright, Sir, Master Daniel, I will return home now that you are in the care of your Grandfather."

"What? You mean you aren't staying? I'll bet if it was Mom you would be right here, we couldn't prise you away!"

"Daniel! I know you're worried, but that's enough." Mark looked the boy in the eye, and could see nothing but hurt there.

"But it's true, when Mom was in the hospital he came and stayed. But because it's Dad, he wants to go straight home."

"No, Sir, that isn't true, I have responsibilities, and I will also need to pick up Madam from the airport. I have a house to run, but I will be back, Daniel, the Lieutenant is my employer, just as Madam is, my duties for both of them are the same."

Daniel had the grace to look a little ashamed. "I'm sorry, M, I'm just scared, and … and you and Grandpa, you help me to be … well, less scared I guess. You'll come back later?"

"Of course, Master Daniel, and you have your Grandfather with you, I wouldn't leave you unattended … Doctor Sloan, I may not be here in person, but I will be thinking of the Lieutenant continually."

Mark smiled, he knew that what the butler said was quite an admission and he didn't want to embarrass the man. He watched as Michael left the room and then the two of them sat together. As they did so there was a slight noise at the door and Wil Collins, a sombre look on his face, and blood covering his clothes moved into the room.

__

The caretaker of the apartment building looked at the note in his hand. It was the third one he had received recently about the burning waste basket and he was getting a little fed up. Albert Hardy had checked over the regulations, and he couldn't find anything that said you couldn't set your waste bin alight on the fire escape. All it said was that it was to be kept clear of any obstructions, but the basket had been placed carefully, and wasn't obstructing anything. He guessed though, that if you were fleeing a burning building, flames halfway down the stairs could be a little disconcerting and so he knew he would have to go and see Matthew Little.

With a heavy heart Albert finished his breakfast, locked up his own apartment and made his way up to the third floor, the elevator clunked a few times, and he realised he would have to arrange to have that looked at too. He still hadn't gotten over the time when Mrs Bernstein and her poodle got stuck in the darn thing for three hours, and he had a feeling he would never get rid of the smell.

The rapping woke Matthew with a start and he looked around him. Nothing seemed to have changed since the last time he remembered being in this room, which was a relief. He moved over towards the door and peered through the peephole and seeing Albert standing the other side he opened it with a smile.

"Hey, Bert how's it going?"

"Not bad, Matt, not bad, I'm glad you're home. Is that friend of yours still here?" Albert knew that sometimes Matthew's mate Dominic slept over, and if that was the case he would have to talk on the doorstep.

"He is, but he's fast asleep. He got stood up yesterday, I think he drowned his sorrows, I don't think he even planned to go to work today!" Matthew was obviously scandalized by his friend's behaviour.

"Oh, well, I won't disturb him, but you had that trash can burning on your fire escape again, and there have been complaints."

Matthew hung his head. "That was me, I'm sorry, Bert, I spoiled one of his shirts, and … and I forgot to get rid of it, I didn't want him to find it, but he was coming over, and I needed to … I'm sorry."

Albert shook his head, he felt for Matthew, he was a nice kid, quiet, unassuming, continually on edge. Dominic, on the other hand, from what he'd heard, was confident, a little distant, liked clubs and loud music, what he had in common with Matt, Bert had no idea, but he was normally no trouble as a tenant, he wished he had a block full of Matthews.  So he'd had a problem on the fire escape a couple of times, if it meant Matthew's life was a little easier he would overlook it.

"Listen, Kid, promise me that you won't do it again, I can go back to the resident's committee and tell 'em it's sorted. Ok?"

"Yeah, thanks. You want a cup of coffee?"

"Nah, I might wake his lordship!" Albert rolled his eyes and was pleased when Matt laughed.

"In which case I'll need the waste basket to keep over my head for a few days. I'll see you, Albert and, I promise, no more fires."

The door closed behind the janitor and Matthew leant against it, his heart hammering in his chest. Dominic was still asleep, he hadn't come out to see what was happening, and for that, at least, he had to be grateful.

__

Jo rubbed her eyes and gradually stood up. She stretched as tall as she could and linked her fingers together and extended her arms as far as they would go.  Once she had done that she looked at the door in front of her and for a moment had no idea what to do. She tried the handle, but there was no movement. She rattled it harder, but that was all it did, rattle! Jo found it hard to believe, but there was no denying it, she had spent the night here because someone had locked her in the attic.

The house was still silent, and Jo moved through the gaps between the boxes until she could get to the window. Once there she leant her head on the cool glass and tried to get the images from her dreams out of her mind. She had been surprised by how little her ordeal with Don Werner had affected her, a fact she put down to the strong relationship she and Steve had, it had caused a few sleepless nights but she hadn't, until last night, had the nightmares she had been expecting. She guessed that it had a lot to do with the fact that she was being held prisoner once again, but the dreams had been vivid, she had felt her helplessness, heard the voice of her tormentor and the sounds of Jesse's screams. Waking up hadn't been a problem and she had been able to get away from the images for a while by standing up and walking around for a few minutes before trying to make herself comfortable once again. Now though, in the cold light of day, she just wanted to get out, to get away from this place that made her fears grow out of all proportion, get her business concluded as soon as possible and go home to Steve.

The ICU at Community General was quiet, apart from the regular beeps and shushes of machines, and the soft sobbing that sometimes broke the air. Mark eased himself slightly in his chair, never once letting his gaze leave the face of his son. He had again come so close to losing him, and again someone had been smiling down on them both, and he was fighting back once more.

Mark still felt unable to believe that all of the anguish of the last few hours had been caused by Jesse. Rae had, to his relief, gone home for a few hours sleep, although he was sure she would be back long before Jesse was awake. Suddenly Mark knew that he had to get up and stretch his legs, there was no way he could stay sitting for a moment longer. With a sigh he stood, speaking as he did so.

"Steve, I have to just stretch my legs, Son, but all I plan to do is walk the length of the hallway and then I'll be back." There was no response, but he hadn't expected there to be. Although the wounds Steve had suffered weren't serious any longer, their results had almost killed him, and he was heavily sedated while his body began its recovery.

Mark checked his watch, it was just after nine in the morning, he turned to leave the room and nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw Daniel standing there, the haunted look still on his face. Daniel had fallen asleep once they had got Steve into his room and hooked up to the monitors, and Mark had been grateful for that. This was traumatic for all of them, but the boy was only fifteen.

"Grandpa?"

Mark moved across at that one word, which could either send him flying with happiness or tear at his heart, and took the boy into his arms. "Shhh, it's ok, he really is going to be fine. He survived the surgery, and he will get better."

Daniel looked up into the face of the man he liked more and more each time he saw him. "You promise? He's not gonna die?"

"No, he's not gonna die, I promise. Now, I need to stretch my legs, get a coffee and …" Mark made a theatrically grand gesture of looking around himself to check no one was listening "… go to the little boys room! Wanna come?"

Daniel just nodded his head, somehow his grandfather's relaxed attitude made him feel less scared and he knew that there was no way that the older man would leave the room for even a second if his dad was still in danger. "I just want to tell him something first, is that ok?"

"Of course, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurry you away." Mark was instantly concerned. He'd wanted to stop the boy from worrying, not make him think he couldn't see his father. Moving back slightly Mark watched as Daniel walked hesitantly towards the bed.

"Dad, it's me, Daniel. Mom's not back yet, but I didn't want you to think we didn't care. I'm real sorry you got hurt, I … I love you, Dad." Daniel reached out and touched Steve on the cheek, almost as if he was afraid that to do so would cause him to disappear before his eyes. Then the young boy turned and left the room with Mark.

When they returned Mark was relieved to see Amanda sitting by the bedside. He could see tears on her cheeks and as he said her name she ran into his arms just as Daniel had done.

"Oh, Mark, I'm so sorry I couldn't get here earlier, I was so scared I would be … too late."

"No, he's not gonna die, Grandpa promised." Daniel's tone was almost belligerent, as if daring anyone to contradict him.

"Daniel," Amanda's tone softened, "I know he isn't, not now, but you know it was touch and go for a while." She saw the boy nod his head. "I have to go to work, but Ron is home, and if you would like to stay with CJ and Dion tonight, well you are welcome."

Daniel thought for a moment, "No thanks, Mom will be home, and … and well, M might need me."

Mark and Amanda smiled at each other, he had come such a long way, this boy who had first entered their lives when he robbed a grocery store. He had found a family who loved him and who he was able to love back, his school work, although not going to set the world alight, was always done conscientiously and with care, and he had the ability to think of others before himself. Both of them were more relieved than they would ever admit that Steve had survived once more, but this time they weren't just relieved for themselves, but for a boy who needed the strong and loving influence of his father in his life.


	9. Split Loyalties

**Chapter Nine – ****Split**** Loyalties**

Jo sat on the first crate and began to think. Someone in her own house had locked her in the attic and no one had missed her! She tried banging on the door, but she didn't expect anyone to hear her, and when fifteen minutes passed without anyone coming she sank back on her makeshift seat and wondered what to do next. As she closed her eyes the vision of her cage at Werner's garage came up and the shock once again left her breathless.

"Girl, pull it together, this has nothin' to do with that, an' the man is incarcerated … But then right now so am I. So think, no point in doin' anythin' else, no one is gonna hear you… Why would anyone want to lock me in my own attic? Well, Miss Prissy Knickers might, but how would she explain my absence? Girl, you have only been awake for a few minutes an' you are talkin' to yourself already."

Jo kicked the nearest box, it hurt her foot, but somehow it made her feel better. She banged on the door again, "Hey, hey, let me out of here…! Stupid place to put an attic, up where nobody can hear you… Think, Girl, you were a cop, gettin' out of a room shouldn't be a problem, concentrate!" Jo sat cross-legged on the floor, she decided that maybe she would be able to focus a little more if she was uncomfortable, and this was definitely that, mind you she had been uncomfortable all night, and that hadn't helped.

The room looked different now that she was lower down, and Jo could see that none of the crates had been moved in a very long time, except the one she had just kicked, probably she realised because as heir to the Walters estate she had the only key… "Key, where is the key?" Jo crawled across and peered through the keyhole. She had checked it the night before but all she had done was see into the hallway beyond, but now, much to her surprise, Jo could see nothing, the key was back in the lock. With a cry of disgust she stood up and tried the handle again, someone had been up, replaced the key and unlocked the door, she couldn't believe that she hadn't heard it, but at least she was free. She made sure that the attic was firmly secured behind her and then made her way back down the stairs.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Alex began his shift at seven and wondered how long it would be before Rae arrived at the hospital. She would be all right, physically at least, but Alex knew that the fact that her husband had tried to kill his best friend would haunt her for a long time. With a heavy sigh Alex made his way to the ICU, Steve was his patient this time around, and he needed to check on him right away.

Steve had been monitored constantly throughout the night, and his blood count was much higher than it had been. The wounds had been stitched in surgery and the sigh of relief felt around the hospital as friends of Steve, and staff that had treated him over the years, heard that he had survived yet another almost fatal encounter.

Alex stopped at the door to Steve's room, he had expected to see Mark, but instead it was Daniel who was sitting, holding his father's hand and reading something at the same time.

"Hey, Dan, how's it going?" Alex smiled at the young man and watched him drop his magazine, carefully lay Steve's hand back on the covers, and then move over towards him.

"Slowly, but M cleared it with the school, I can stay all day, and if you want him Grandpa is checking on Jesse, he said that he wouldn't be more than a few minutes, and he also said … that you saved Dad, Alex, thanks."

Alex smiled and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I was just doing my job, Daniel."

"Yeah, right!"

Daniel cuffed his friend as he spoke, and Alex laughed. Theirs was a deep friendship, but Alex wondered how many people were happy to spend time with the person who had held up a store, kept them hostage, and been given six months in juvie for their trouble. To be fair it hadn't been Daniel holding the gun, that honour had gone to his cousin Zeke, and Alex had known that Daniel had been as terrified about the whole ordeal as he had. He'd pestered Steve to keep track of the boy, and when his foster family sent him back to the care home, begged him and Jo to foster Daniel themselves.

It had worked out far better than any of them could have imagined, and now Jo and Steve were half way through the process of adopting Daniel. To Alex's delight they had asked him if he would be the boy's guardian should anything happen to the two of them, and he had felt privileged to accept. The doctor looked at the still form in the bed, he had almost been needed before the legalities were complete, and he was very relieved that he hadn't let anyone down.

"I'm just gonna check him over, but you don't need to leave, and if you like I'll explain it all to you as I go. I would talk to Steve the whole time anyway." Daniel just nodded and so Alex continued. "Ok, Steve, I'm just gonna check your vitals," Daniel watched as Alex picked up the chart from the end of the bed and read through the notes already there. "I just need to take a note of the figures on these monitors." Alex wrote as he spoke, and Daniel checked the figures himself and then looked to see where exactly his friend was writing them down.

"The readings we want to see are already here, and I check what I have with what I would like to have. Ok?" Alex paused, and saw Daniel nod.

"What does it tell you? Is it getting better?" Daniel looked at all the figures; he thought that he would never get the hang of it.

"Yeah, he's getting there. Now, I need to know how much oxygen is in the blood, and this thing on the end of his finger does that. It doesn't work if you have nail polish on, but I guess your dad's stopped wearing that!"

"Yeah, they were all out of pretty pink at the drug store this week!" Daniel laughed at his friend's words, but was instantly serious again as he watched Alex move up to where the wounds on Steve's arm were. "They seem so ordinary, but they could have killed him, couldn't they?"

For a moment Alex paused, he didn't know how much Mark had told his grandson, but in the end he decided that honesty was the best policy, Daniel trusted him, and he didn't want to betray that by lying to him.

"They very nearly did; the wounds aren't serious, they've been stitched up and he'll have a couple of scars, but nothing more. He might need a little physiotherapy to help with the muscles, but the problems weren't to do with that." Alex hesitated again, but the look on the boy's face told him that nothing other than the truth would suffice. "The knife severed the brachial artery, the second wound only nicked it, but the first one alone would have killed him if Rae hadn't called 911."

For a moment Daniel couldn't answer. To know that he had almost lost his dad, who always seemed so strong, so resilient, to something so innocent looking, Daniel swallowed his feelings back down and then voiced his main worry. "But it's all stitched up now; it won't bleed again will it?"

"No, it won't. Steve's blood pressure is rising all the time, he's a far better colour now, I'm not as worried about him as I was, and he'll come round naturally during the morning."

Daniel grinned, "So by the time Mom gets here, he'll be ok?"

"Not quite, but the worst will definitely be over… Dan, Steve would be proud of the way you've carried yourself throughout this, and your grandpa too." As far as he knew Alex was the only person to call the boy Dan, and he secretly hoped it would stay that way.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Jo made her way down the stairs, her anger building with every step, and by the time she was in the main hallway she was just about ready for anything. She heard voices and moved into the dining room.

David was sitting at the large oak table, a set of files in front of him, his glasses perched on his nose, and for an instant she was reminded of Mark, he never put the arms over his ears either. Debs was sitting in an easy chair, a copy of 'Parent' magazine in her hands.

"Why, Jo, where have you been all mornin' an' you missed your dinner last night?"

"Where have I been? I have been missin' since yesterday an' all you can say is where have I been. I'll just bet you knew exactly where I was."

"Jo!" David barked the one word.

"What? An' you, you aren't a little bothered that I disappeared, an' have only now just turned up? Well, gee, thanks."

"Jo, Honey, I don't know what you are gettin' so worked up about." David looked and sounded completely bemused.

"I am gettin' worked up because someone, probably you, locked me in the attic!" She glared at Debbie as she spoke.

"Jo, that is enough!"

"No, David, it's nowhere near enough. I am the only person with a key, an' I told Miss Pris… Debbie where I was goin' yesterday, she knew where I was, an' I never miss my meal without a good reason. An' nobody heard me, why didn't anybody come lookin' for me?"

"Honey, I thought you had arranged it with the kitchen, an' then this mornin', I guessed you had gone straight back to LA when you heard about Steve." David began to find his way back into the conversation.

"Heard what? What's happened to Steve?" Jo felt her stomach heave, she knew it was bad.

"I came an' called through your bedroom door just after Mark called, in the middle of the night, I might add, but there wasn't any reply, I thought you were fast asleep." Debbie looked at her future sister-in-law, the picture of innocence.

"You … you …" Jo shook her head, Debbie carried on looking at Jo, and she realised that she couldn't read the woman at all. "Arghhh, words fail me." Jo moved closer to the woman, glared at her and made sure she enunciated each word clearly. "What … is … the … matter … with … Steve?"

"I told you." Debs lowered her eyes as she spoke, and folded her hands in her gently swelling lap, and Jo felt her temper rise.

"I DIDN'T HEAR, TELL ME AGAIN!" Jo was shouting now, her heart was pounding, and she wanted to shake the annoying woman hard.

"Ok, Jo, that's enough, sit down or I will lose my temper." David stood up, moved across and pulled his sister away from his fiancée; his words were loud and insistent. "Now, I don't know why you have such a downer on Debs, she is a kind, hard workin' gal, an' I love her. I like Steve, an' even if I didn't, I know you love him an' I wouldn't dream of puttin' him down. So just grow up an' leave her be."

Jo closed her eyes for a moment, she couldn't remember the last time her brother had shouted at her, and she felt tears rush into them.  She swallowed hard, "Just tell me what happened to Steve."

"Well, Mark said somethin' about him being in the hospital, in the ICU. That poor chil' he must be so worried, you being away an' his daddy ill like that. It's a huge responsibility havin' a chil' in your life." Debbie smiled in, Jo thought, a conceited way. "I guess maybe the problems you are havin' is the Lord's way of tellin' you to slow down a little. I am mighty sorry about what happened in the past, but it's a big job bein' a parent."

"David, so help me if you don't shut her up I will." Jo was furious with Debbie, but even more so with her brother.  "You told her, how could you do that?"

"Now, Jo, just hold on a minute…" David saw his sister's eyes flash, and he knew that he had maybe overstepped the mark. "I'm marryin' her, we have no secrets."

"No, maybe not, but, thank God, I'm not marryin' her, an' I sure as hell do have secrets from her, an' I thought that was one of them! An' just so you know, it wasn't your secret to tell!" Jo took a deep breath and then turned back to Debbie. "Please, tell me what Mark said, an' when he said it."

"He called in the middle of the night, which I just said, an' told me that there had been some trouble an' Steve an' Rae had both been taken to the hospital, Jesse too."

Jo was running into the hallway as she heard the words, she picked up her purse from where she had left it the day she arrived and rummaged around for her cell. She knew the battery would be dead and so she pulled out the adaptor as well and plugged it in, then she found Mark's number and dialled it.

"Mark … Mark, is that you?"

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Rae gradually woke up, reluctantly, just after seven thirty, and headed upstairs to have a shower. She stood in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes showed her lack of sleep, and reaction to the happenings of the night before. Rae enjoyed living in Oak Place, but she knew that there would be no way to forget what had happened in her house.

Once Rae was dressed she went back downstairs and put a call through to Sally, asking her to keep the girls until a little later in the day when she would come over, pick them up and sort out the child care arrangements for the next few days. Then she put through another call, ordered a cab and waited for it to take her to see her husband and her partner.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Mark walked back from Jesse's room a worried expression on his face. It was very early in the morning, and he had known that the young man would still be asleep, but the fact that he had caused the injury to Steve, had almost killed him, was, now that neither of them was in any danger, just beginning to sink in. He reached the doorway to his son's room and realised that every part of him was desperate for sleep, for relief, however brief, from the crisis he had suddenly found himself in the middle of.

As he went to speak to his grandson the room swum a little and he was aware of both Daniel and Alex rushing towards him.

Mark had sunk into the chair that his friends had guided him to, and for a while said nothing. Alex knew that while Steve was sedated he wouldn't hear anything that his father said, and so he crouched down in front of him. "Mark? Are you ok?"

Mark shook his head, "I'm sorry, I guess I just let it get to me for a moment there."

"That's not surprising; it's been quite a night." Alex had his fingers over Mark's wrist as he spoke, and was relieved to find that his pulse was as it should be.

This time Mark nodded. "I saw Jesse, just for a minute, and he was asleep, I knew he would be, and Lauren is going to go see him later, Alex, what happened? How could he have done that to Steve, to Rae?"

Daniel had been desperately trying to get a word into the conversation, and now he jumped in before Alex had a chance to reply. "I saw him the other day, and he was fine with me, but he nearly killed my dad, I thought he was his friend, I HATE HIM!" The tears that had been just under surface ever since Daniel had first seen Steve, so pale and sick, rushed to his eyes, and he tried furiously to knuckle them away.

"Daniel, just wait, let's listen to Mark, and then we can talk this through." Alex was still concerned for his old friend, and wanted to finish checking him first.

"Daniel, there has to be a reason why he has done this, he loves Steve, and he definitely loves Rae. We will find out why, we will."

"Yeah, right. I'm gonna go call Mom, see where she is." Daniel stood up and moved out into the hallway, he knew that he couldn't use his cell phone in his dad's room, he didn't really want Mark or Alex to hear his conversation and he figured he might have calmed down a little by the time he got outside the building.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Mark and Alex watched Daniel leave the room and then they looked at each other. "Do you think one of us should go after him?" Mark didn't really have the energy left in him, but he would go if Alex thought it necessary.

"Mark, I'll go in a little while, he's sensible, he'll go outside, call Jo and then come back. It's you I'm worried about. Have you had any sleep?"

"In that chair? You have to be joking. Daniel had the cot, and I just watched the two of them."

Alex had seen the makeshift bed and guessed it would have been for Daniel. "Well, why don't you go down to your office, grab a bite to eat and sleep for a while. Steve is still sedated; I don't want him moving yet, his body has to have a chance to get over the trauma. Once he wakes up I don't think I'll be able to keep him still for very long."

"You could be right, and if he will be asleep for a couple more hours then I'll sleep too, but in here, ok?"

Alex, realising that it was a compromise he could live with, nodded his head. "Ok. The nurse is checking him every thirty minutes, but she won't disturb you." Alex watched as Mark stood up, he seemed to have aged greatly over the last few hours, and he was very concerned about him.

"Thanks, Alex, and Daniel can come back in, I know he'll be quiet, he's a good boy."

"Yeah, he is, but I'll probably find him and feed him." As Alex waited for Mark to make his way to the cot he decided that he would get the nurse to keep an eye on the father as well as the son. Mark sat down with a sigh and his cell phone began to ring.

"Mark, let me," He held out his hand and took the phone, "Hi, this is Doctor Sloan's phone … No, Jo, it's me, Alex… Yeah, he's here, hold on." Alex handed over the phone, knowing that the other doctor would want to speak with his daughter-in-law.

"Jo, Honey, how did the flight go, are you here yet…? What … Oh, my, no … no, he's out of danger now … I'll tell you when you get here, it's still very confused, I don't really know myself how it happened… No, he's been here, sitting with his dad… I don't know, look, let me put you back to Alex, he can tell you." Mark held the phone out. "Jo wants to know about Rae." When Alex had taken it he lay down and shut his eyes, and Alex knew if he wasn't careful he would have another patient.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Daniel stopped as he saw Rae in the hallway. There was no one with her and he walked up to her. She hadn't been injured and she looked fine and it was that which finally made his anger break free_._ "I thought you were nice, and Jesse, I guess I was wrong, I know Mom owns your house, I'll get her to make you move, he nearly killed him, he nearly killed my dad."

"Daniel…?" Rae could see the anger in his eyes and she reached out to him. The pain he was in made her feel even worse than she already did and as tears filled her eyes she gasped in a gulp of air. Instantly Daniel felt his animosity disappear.

"Rae, I'm sorry, I … I didn't mean to make you cry, do you want me to get Grandpa … or, or Alex?" Daniel's head was swimming, he'd never been in a hospital in his life until he moved in with his new mom and dad, and he didn't know what to do.

"No … no, I'm fine, but I am so sorry … Daniel, is Steve ok?" Rae thought she already knew the answer; he wouldn't be in the hallway if his dad was still really sick as she waited for his answer she rubbed at her eyes to rid them of her tears.

He nodded his head, silent for a moment as he worked out what to say. "Yeah, he wasn't, but Alex saved him."

"He's a good doctor… Daniel, I'm sorry that Steve got hurt. I … I don't know what else to say." Rae shook her head; the memories of what had happened were still so confusing that she didn't know where to start, so she opened her arms and to her relief Daniel let her hug him.

Daniel didn't know how to finish the conversation and so he took a step back, nodded his head and began to speak. "I'm gonna go and call Mom, Rae, I'll see you later." Rae seemed happy with that and so he turned and made his way down the corridor, but although he had told Rae his plans he didn't think he could do that, not yet, and so, after turning the corner, he sat in the nearest chair and let his feeling engulf him.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Jo shut her phone down and left it plugged in to charge. Then she went back into the living room. "Well, it seems that my husband has survived, no thanks to you. Mark thought I was callin' from the airport to let him know it would only be a half hour 'til I got there!" That wasn't quite true, but it worked for her.

"So, what are you gonna do now? Don't you have an appointment to go see the Station Captain later today?" David had closed the folder on the table and taken his glasses off; for once his sister had his undivided attention.

"I am going home; I don't know when I'll be back so I'll get the packin' cases shipped to Los Angeles. I'll go count them while the plane is gettin' ready."

Jo moved back out into the hallway again. "Jonathon, could you come here please?" Her voice reverberated through the lower storey of the house, and she waited.

"Yes, Madam?" The butler was tall, very black and extremely efficient.

"Could you call the airport an' let them know that I will be needin' the plane in about an hour or so to go back to LA?"

"Certainly, Madam, will you be requiring full service this time?"

"What? No, no, just make sure there are some snacks an' plenty of water, that'll do me … no, wait, get Chef to make me up a basket, that way I can go straight to the hospital, thank you, Jonathon."

"It is my pleasure, Madam." The man turned and walked back in the direction of his pantry and Jo headed for the stairs.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Rae moved on after speaking with Daniel and came to Jesse's room just a little too soon. She was anxious to see him, to be able to sit and know she was there for him, but she didn't know what to say so that he knew, that whatever had happened the night before, she still loved and trusted him. She carefully opened the door and moved towards the bed. Jesse was dead to the world, the hands that held the knife now lying still on the covers; his hair tousled and mussed up from the night's rest. Rae had to smile, her husband had always looked about twelve years old when he was sleeping, and her heart filled with love for him once more as she sat down in the chair next to the bed and just watched as Jesse rested.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

When Jo had returned to the attic for the final time before she left for home she had been planning to label the chests so that she had a map in her mind of where everything had been. To her delight though she discovered that the job had been done for her, she had moved the crate nearest the door so that she could get to the one behind it and there, on the side hidden from view, was a sticker which said _Item No, 458._ Jo had then gone to the farthest room and checked the one nearest to the locked door; it said _Item No, 53_. "So there are 406 boxes in the rooms I can get into, an' fifty-two in the room I can't. Now I can sort out the rest from home." With a spring in her step Jo had checked the odd packing case here and there just to double check they were all numbered, and when she found that they were she silently thanked her grandmamma for being so organised.

As she locked up the attic once more Jo made sure that it was completely secure and then she made her way down to her own bedroom intending to pack her clothes ready to leave.

"Oh, Maria, what are you doin' in here?"

"Packin' for you, Madam, Miss Gardiner said that you were returnin' to LA right way, an' I was to make sure you didn't leave anythin' behind."

"Hmmm, I'll just bet she did." Jo averted her eyes from the maid, who carried on with her duties, and looked around the room. There was a picture of her mamma and papa on the wall, one of her grandmamma too, and suddenly she knew she wanted to take them with her. "I'll just take these downstairs, I need them." She carefully took them both down and then carrying them in front of her made her way to the kitchen where she knew Jonathon would be able to find her some bubble wrap.

An hour and a half later she was sitting in the airplane as it taxied down the runway; she had called Mark and left a message on his cell, and also spoken to Daniel and Michael. Her son had been amazed and upset that she wasn't home yet, but she had heard the maturity in his voice as he had told her what he would do.

_"Don't you hurry, well, yeah, hurry, I miss you and … and I know Dad will be better as soon as you get here, but I'll sit with him, and Grandpa, he needs me too. Until you get here, I'll do all that."_

_"Honey, I am so proud of you, an' I'll see you soon, I promise. You take care, now." Jo had felt the tears prick the back of her eyes._

_"I will, and, Mom …"_

_"Yes, Sweetie."___

_"I love you."_

_"I love you, too."_

She had disconnected then and collapsed back onto the sofa on the plane.  She still didn't know what was wrong with Steve, she knew he wasn't in danger, but nothing else, and she guessed that until she could get to him she would have to be satisfied with her limited knowledge, but she also knew that no matter what her grandmamma wanted her to do her family would come first from now on.


	10. Picking up some Pieces

**Chapter Ten – Picking Up Some Pieces**

Rae had watched Jesse sleep, had sat and tried to, once again, collect her thoughts. She still couldn't understand why everything had happened, the memories were fresh in her mind, but they appeared muddled because they had all seemed to happen without any reason, and so as she sat there she went back over it all again. When she had tried to restrain her husband in the kitchen, Rae had seen pure fear in his eyes and she had been so relieved when he realised who she was. Rae shook her head and tears threatened her, she had seen her own husband, someone who was normally the kindest and gentlest soul she knew, someone who had promised to do no harm, with a knife in his hand, a knife that he was using as a weapon. With a heavy sigh Rae stood up and ran her fingers through her hair, she needed to see Steve, to make sure he was alright, and to do that she had to see Alex, and so she decided to head towards the ER in the hope of finding her doctor there.

Mark had fallen into a deep sleep, and hadn't been aware of Daniel coming back, of Alex taking him for some food, or of the nurse checking on both his son and himself. By the time Daniel had decided that M's meatloaf was much better than the stuff from the cafeteria, and that green jello wasn't fit for dogs Mark was so deeply asleep that the boy could have played his music full blast and he still wouldn't have stirred. Alex had watched Daniel eat a full lunch for breakfast and tried to work out if he would have done the same at fifteen. He had decided that yes, he probably would. Daniel had been amazed to see all types of meals available so early in the day, until Alex had pointed out that, with the different shift systems in operation, early morning was dinner time for many staff members.

Once he had eaten his fill Daniel came back up to his dad's room with Alex so he could re-check Steve's vital signs himself and make sure Mark was ok, but only ten minutes later he had been called down to the ER and as his friend left, Daniel heard a nurse on duty tell him that Rae needed to see him too. Daniel leant back in the chair next to his father's bed and picked up his magazine. His eyes looked at the words, but none of them were taken in, he didn't want to read, and so he let his mind wander, he'd had some great times since he had started to live with Steve and Jo, and a lot of them had been with Rae and Jesse too. Daniel still couldn't understand why Jesse had lost it like that. Nothing made sense, Daniel knew that his grandpa was right, Jesse did love his dad, and even though it sounded sappy he knew that he adored Rae, so there had to be a reason why he'd done what he did. Daniel thought for a moment, and then he stood up, looked at his dad and left the room.

Mark turned slightly on the cot, a frown crossing his features, and on the bed Steve's eyelids flickered, just the once and then were still again.

Alex had dealt with a serious motorcycle accident and by the time he had finished he was glad he didn't own one. One young man of twenty-two had lost his leg, there had been no alternative, and Alex knew that he was being operated on right now in the hope that his other leg could be saved. He washed his hands and, taking his badge off it first, threw the bloodstained coat into the laundry. He took another clean one from the pile in the doctors' locker room, deciding as he did so that he needed a shower.

The water pounded down on him and he rested his head against the cool tiles. He still didn't know exactly what had happened the previous night, and he realized that he had to find out. He needed to know why Jesse had attacked his best friend, needed to know what would make the normally even tempered young man totally lose it in that way, and he needed to know what he could do to help make everything right again.

Alex dried himself off, and began to think things through as he dressed. The answers would lie with Jesse, they had to. Steve had been dropping Rae home from work, at least he thought that was what he was doing, and Jesse had attacked them. He had no more information than that, but he needed to find out. Running his fingers through his hair to make it reasonably tidy Alex knew where he could start and so, throwing the towels into their laundry basket, he left the room.

Daniel stood in the crowded office and smiled, he couldn't help himself, there was something about the place that just made you feel good. He looked around and was sure that there was even more stuff in here than the last time he'd visited, then with a laugh he moved over to the crowded bookshelf and began to read the titles on the spines of all the books.

"Ok, what do I want? '100 Cases for Students, Medicine, Surgery, Ob … stetrics and Gynae … cology', no, I don't think so. '100% Health, How to Live Longer, Feel Better and Stay Free from Disease' not the type of thing you'd think a doctor would have, sort of do them out of a job. Ooh, how about this one, 'American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook and Neu … Neu …ro … psychiatry and Clinical Neuro…sciences' Fourth edition, no less, I don't think I can even lift that off the shelf. 'The Textbook of Pain', oh, that's reassuring, 'Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine' well, I guess that one figures… What the? 'Textbook of Ayurveda' whatever that is, and the 'Textbook of Veterinary Internal Medicine – Diseases of the Dog and Cat', Grandpa, you are a strange, strange man." Daniel laughed again, and then saw a book that he thought would help. "Trauma and Recovery', yep, that'll do me."

"Daniel, what are you doing in here?" Alex's voice frightened the young man so much that he dropped the book on the floor.

"Don't do that, don't you ever knock?"

"Well, last I knew you were in ICU."

"And you were in the ER, so you shouldn't be here either. Grandpa's secretary knew who I was and let me in, so what's your excuse?" Daniel shot back his reply.

"I finished. What did you want?" Alex suddenly felt defensive.

"Oh, um, I wanted a book; I just had an idea about Dad and Jesse." Daniel looked embarrassed and knelt down to pick up the volume he had dropped. "I picked this." He held it out and Alex took it from him.

"You're thinking like me, which is a worry, I'm here for a book too. Hold on and we'll go back up together." Alex ran his finger along the backs of the books until he found what he was looking for. "Here we go, 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook' Now, I need to go and see Rae, and you need to go and sit with your dad. I would imagine that in about a half hour or so he will begin to come round."

"Really? Oh, great, thanks, Alex."

"You're welcome, oh, and, Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"It'll take him a while, just let him know you're there and he'll do the rest, but buzz for the nurse and she'll page me, ok?"

Daniel nodded, and then with a slightly lighter spring in his step he left Mark's office and headed back to where he hoped his dad and his grandpa would still be sleeping.

Rae had asked for Alex in the ER, but finding out that he was going to be busy for a while had gone straight back to Jesse's room. Now she was glad that she had as it was clear that Jesse was beginning to wake up. Rae pressed the buzzer by the bed, told the nurse on duty what was happening and then she had sat quietly, resisting the temptation to take hold of his hand, and watched.

Jesse didn't know where he was, and he was scared to open his eyes. He could feel the presence of someone by his side, but he had no idea who it was. He had been coming to, gradually, for a while, but he had tried not to move, not to let whoever it was in the room with him know that he was no longer asleep.

"Jesse, Honey, it's me, it's Rae." Her voice was soft and gentle, and Jesse felt the emotion well up inside him.

"Rae?" He opened his eyes, and his voice croaked as he spoke.

"Let me get you a drink, don't say anything." Rae carefully picked up the beaker from the nightstand and put the straw into her husband's mouth. "Better?"

"Much, thanks… What happened, why am I …? Oh, my God, Rae, Steve!" Jesse's eyes widened and he moved back into the pillows and away from where his wife was sitting.

"Shhh, it's ok. Steve's gonna be alright." Rae still hadn't seen her partner, but remembering how Daniel had been she knew she was speaking the truth. "Baby, please, let me help you." Rae moved her hand towards that of her husband, and felt the disappointment inside her as he backed away a little more.

"I … I can't. I want to, I really want to, but …" Jesse realised that he did want her help, needed it, but there was something that was stopping him from being able to confide in her.

"Jess, I don't know what happened last night, why you acted the way you did, but I will do anything, anything at all that I can to help you … even if that means I do nothing."

Jesse felt the love he had for her rush to the surface, but the fear was there, always there, just waiting to engulf him, and it was too strong for him to banish. "I'm sorry, please, tell Steve, I am so very, very sorry."

"Ok, I will, but now, close your eyes, go back to sleep, you're safe here, nothing will happen to you, I promise you, nothing at all." Rae saw him nod his head, and the fear seemed to recede just a little. Gradually his eyes closed and, still under the influence of the sedative Mark had prescribed, Jesse slept once again.

For a while Rae sat there, she didn't know what to do, how to help, maybe she would have to do as she had suggested and step back and do nothing, but she knew it would be almost too hard.

"Rae?" The voice broke into her concentration and she looked up. Lauren Yung was standing in the doorway and Rae smiled.

"Hi, how are you today?"

"I'm good; I'm guessing you aren't so good." Lauren indicated the chairs outside of Jesse's room, and Rae stood, moved out and sat back down.

"I've had better days. Lauren, help him, please. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I do know that he needs your help, he didn't recognise us, either of us, when we got home last night, and … and I thought he'd killed Steve, oh!" Rae covered her mouth with her hand as the memories of the previous day came up as a vision in front of her.

"Hey, it's ok, of course I'll help him, and you too." Lauren put her hand on Rae's arm and felt her shake. "Shhh, it's fixable, whatever it is, I'm sure it's fixable." Lauren wasn't sure, but she had faith in herself, and she knew that if she could find out what was wrong with Jesse, then she could fix it, but he had to let it out first.

Steve's journey back to the waking world was slow and fuzzy. He knew his dad was with him, he hadn't opened his eyes yet, but he just knew. He could feel someone holding each hand, and he realized that he liked the fact that more than one person was waiting for him.

"Jo?" His voice came out slurred and slow, but both Mark and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Dad, it's me, Daniel, it's ok, I've called for Alex, and it's ok." Daniel tried to wipe away a tear without his grandpa seeing it, but when he looked up and saw the smile on Mark's face he knew he hadn't succeeded.

It was another five minutes before Steve felt able to open his eyes, and when he did so, first of all he could only see blurry shapes. It was obvious that they were heads, but whose heads was a mystery. He did know that his mouth was dry, and he tried to speak again.

"Jo?"

"Her plane was delayed, Dad, but she'll be here, I promise."

His words seemed to do the trick and a small smile played across Steve's face. "K."

"Son, have just a little drink, here." Mark held the beaker for Steve and watched him carefully as he took a sip.

"Thanks, Dad."

The room disappeared back into silence, and Daniel tried to stay positive. Alex had said it would take a while, just to let him take it at his own pace, and his grandpa didn't seem worried. A few minutes later Daniel felt his dad move again, and to his delight his fingers tightened and gripped his hand.

"Hi, Son." Steve's voice still didn't sound quite like it belonged to him, but it was getting better all the time.

"Hey, Dad." Daniel's voice was choked with emotion, but now he didn't care. Alex had joined them just after Steve had asked for Jo the second time, and he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and smiled down at him.

"Ok, Dan?" Alex was watching both Daniel and Steve, and he was delighted with how they were both reacting.

"Oh yeah, now I'm just fine."

It was a little after one when Lauren finally got to see her patient. Jesse had woken twice during the morning, but both times he had just taken a drink of water and then gone back to sleep, but at twelve he had asked Rae to call and see if he could have some lunch. Alex had come in as he had been eating and Rae had taken her leave after that. She needed to get into the station, and she had to go see her children, take them home and just spend some time with them.

Jesse had watched her go and tried to evaluate how he felt about her leaving. A part of him wanted her there, desperately wanted her to take him in her arms and let him know that everything would be alright, but the rest of him couldn't do it, couldn't let her into his private world any more, and even though he knew that it was wrong, that was the part of him that was winning at the moment.

Now though Lauren was sitting in one chair in the hospital room, and Jesse, dressed and ready to go home if Lauren would release him, was sitting in the other one.

"Jesse, you know that I am recording this so that I can have it transcribed later?"

"Yes, I know that, and I don't mind." Jesse wasn't looking at Lauren, he was so ashamed of why he was in the hospital at all, and he knew that he was going to have to discuss it if there was any chance of him leaving in the near future.

"I need you to look at me, ok? We have always been able to talk things through, and I hope that you can do that with me this time." Lauren had a tablet of paper on her lap and a pen in her hand. She wasn't going to note anything that her patient said, but she did want to write down any observations she had of his appearance, his behaviour and his ability to keep eye contact with her. "Do you know what day it is today?"

"Yeah, it must be … Thursday, because Rae came home on Wednesday, and I've slept, so Thursday, it's Thursday." Jesse smiled but inwardly his very soul was crying out. He knew that Lauren was assessing him, that this was an initial crisis intervention meeting, and he could find himself in the psyche ward by the end of the day.

"Ok, and can you tell me why you're here?" Lauren could see the conflict in Jesse's eyes, the pain that his meeting with her was causing, and her heart went out to him.

Jesse immediately looked at the floor, and his hands began pulling at the bottom of the t-shirt he was wearing. He saw the scars on his arm and instinctively covered them over with his other hand, and he said nothing.

"Jesse, I need you to talk to me, do you want me to help you?"

"Yes, yes I do, but … but it's just so hard, y'know, I … I'm … Lauren, I tried to kill my best friend!" Jesse had got to his feet and was moving around the small room. There was no purpose to his movements; he just couldn't sit down any longer. "How could I do that? He's my best friend, he was with Rae and I tried to kill him and … I … I knocked her down, I hit her and sent her flying." Jesse sat down heavily on the bed. "What's happening to me? Lauren, help me, please, please, help me."

"Jesse, look at me, and listen, really listen. In fact, first, come and sit back in the chair." Lauren waited and Jesse got up and did as he was told. Then she put her pad and pen aside and folded her hands in her lap.

"I know that you're scared, there is no way that you would have done what you did otherwise. And I also know, I'm a therapist, I am here to help you not make statements like that, but I think you need a little push to get you started, am I right?" Lauren watched as her patient nodded his head, and then she continued. "Can you tell me how you felt when Rae and Steve came to your house?"

Jesse nodded his head and then he closed his eyes. Inside himself he was back in the hallway again, looking around, wondering where his wife was, needing her to be where she should be, but knowing that it was his fault that she wasn't there.

"I … I got home, and she wasn't there, I didn't like that, it wasn't right, she is always where she should be. She left here and went to work, if I called the station now, she would be there, or on a case, but she would be where she should be."

"And it worried you that she wasn't home? Couldn't you have just called her?" Lauren had picked up her tablet again and was jotting down the fact that the entire time Jesse spoke his hands were moving, not a lot, but small, jerky movements that he didn't seem to be aware of.

"No, because I knew why she wasn't home. I saw her when she got back from Santa Barbara, here at the hospital, but she saw me too, and …" Jesse trailed off, he was ashamed again, of what he had done, of what it had done to his wife, and suddenly he felt dirty, contaminated by his actions, not just of the night before, but of the daytime too.

"And you were doing what? Something that you are not proud of I would guess. Jesse, this is a hospital, there can't be too many things that can make you ashamed of your behaviour, can there?"

"How about kissing an ex-girlfriend and I mean really kissing her?" The words were flung out; as if the faster they were spoken the further away from him they would travel.

"I see." Lauren wasn't really quite sure what to say in reply to Jesse's statement. She had thought that it would link directly to the occurrences later in the day, but she wasn't sure that it did.

"That was why she wasn't home, she saw me, and she was so hurt. I … I don't know why I did it, I knew it wasn't Rae, but I still kissed her, and then, at the time, I enjoyed it."

"And now?"

"And now I don't know. Susan, that's her name, Susan, I hadn't seen her in a long time, she came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes. I was scared at first, but I thought it was Rae, and I turned round so I could kiss her, I knew she would want me to kiss her, I … I haven't done, not for a long time, but it wasn't her."

"Ok, keep talking." Lauren knew that there were issues already that needed to be addressed, but she had to get a basic outline of everything that had happened, and then she could be sure that she would be able to deal with the root of Jesse's problems.

"Rae ran off, and then when I got home, well, she wasn't there, and I was scared, I knew why, but I still needed her to be just someplace in the house." Jesse shook his head, even if Rae had been home he wouldn't have been able to talk to her, not and unburden himself, he didn't understand it all himself yet, but Rae would listen, would try to help him more than any other person he knew, so why couldn't he do it?

"And when Rae did come home, what happened then?"

"It was dark, really dark, I guess I must have fallen asleep, I didn't know it was them, I really didn't. I … I could hear voices, I didn't recognise the voices, but they were everywhere, and I was so scared." The scene came up in his mind again and Jesse began to shake. "They were coming for me … just like they said they would … I didn't know it was them, I swear, I didn't know it was them." The tears came then, and Jesse couldn't stop them. His voice shook at he continued talking. "He's … he's my best … best friend … Lauren." Jesse looked up and the pain in his eyes was so complete, so overwhelming that Lauren moved quickly over to his side and took him into her arms. She knew that he had attacked two people and nearly killed one of them, but she felt no danger emanating from him now, just a terrible sadness.

"Shhh, it's gonna be ok." She couldn't continue, there really wasn't anything else she could say, not and know it was true, so she held him and soothed him as she would her own child and waited for the overwhelming need for release to be satisfied.

Finally Jesse began to calm down and Lauren carefully moved away from him, partly so that she didn't cause him greater embarrassment, but mainly so she could see how he reacted now he was in control of himself again.

Rae had called a cab and headed straight to the station. She had signed out a pool car so that she finally had transportation again, and then she had made herself a hot drink, picked up all the files on the two main cases she was dealing with and sat at her desk.

She knew that she was missing something with the Chief's case, but she had no idea what it was.  The video recording of Elizabeth Masters going into the elevator was a little fuzzy and jumpy but it had provided them with a suspect, if he could be identified by the back of his head and what he did with it. Rae wasn't sure what she was seeing, but the killer moved his head in a very strange, and extremely awkward looking way and even though she had watched it over and over she still had no idea what, if anything, it meant. She made a note to ask Steve about it and then carried on with her work. There was no film of the inside of the elevator and the hallways of the different floors weren't covered either. Once people arrived at the reception desks of the various businesses they were once again identifiable, but only if you knew what they looked like. As security went it stank, and as an aid to finding a murderer it was next to useless.

Rae read through the notes that Steve had made on the murder of the second victim of their vacant lot murderer. Again the young woman had been pretty and blonde, and Steve had begun to make a comparison between the two girls. Amanda's autopsy report showed that there had once again been ten stab wounds, including the two to the feet and the slit throat. The rest of the injuries were in similar places as Jenna's, and both women had been stabbed in the back, she had also had sex either just before she died or had been raped post mortem. Rae shuffled the papers in front of her, looking for the identity of their second body and noted that it had been missing persons who had come up with the name. Samantha Morrison had been reported missing by her mother and formally identified by her before Rae returned from Santa Barbara. As she carried on checking through all the paperwork Rae looked for the interview with the girl's parents, and found, to her horror, that Steve had arranged for the both of them to visit Mrs Morrison at the Beach View Hotel that very afternoon. With a heavy heart she picked up the phone and put a call through to the grieving mother, knowing that there was no way that she would be able to pick up her children and get to the appointment on time.

Jo had fidgeted and fretted all the way from LAX to Community General, and by the time she was in the elevator being taken to Steve's floor she was in such a state that she no longer had the ability to keep still.

The ICU was quiet and calm, and checking the numbers by each room she made her way to where her husband was. The room though was empty and, her panic rising steadily the whole time, Jo turned and rushed towards the nurse's station. "Steve Sloan, where is Steve Sloan?"

"Ma'am?" The nurse looked up from her notes as Jo spoke.

"My husband, Steve Sloan, was in room 394, an' now he's not, where is he?"

This time the nurse smiled. "He was discharged about a half hour ago, and I think I heard him say he was going to see … Doctor Travis. He's in Room 3939."

Jo returned the smile and felt the relief flood through her. Questions were immediately crowding her mind, but she knew that Mark would be able to answer them for her and if Steve was here, then her father-in-law would be too.

"Thank you." Jo knew the hospital well enough to know where she was going and so it wasn't long before she saw the room that Jesse was in. Jo thought her heart might stop as she saw the familiar outline of her husband moving away from her down the hallway. "Steve?" Her voice came out as a croak, but he turned, a smile on his face, and the next second she was caught up in a one armed hug that was the most wonderful thing she could ever imagine.

Jesse had been talking quietly to Lauren about how he felt about going home when he had seen Steve through the window of his room. The fear and agitation that this had caused had alarmed his therapist and Steve as well as Jesse himself.

_"I … I can't see him, Lauren, make him go away … he knows … he has to go … I … I can't …" Jesse had begun to hyperventilate then and Lauren had stood, without a word, and left the room, but she made sure that she could see her patient the entire time._

_"Lieutenant Sloan, I don't think that this is a good time for you to see Doctor Travis. I'm sure you will be able to catch up with each other real soon, but if you could leave for now." Her voice was soft, but loud enough for Jesse to hear. Steve just nodded his head, he wasn't sure what to say and so he looked up at his dad, who turned the wheelchair he was sitting in and began pushing him back down the hallway._

_Lauren returned to the room and crouched down in front of Jesse, placing her hand over his as she did so. "He's gone, Jesse, he understood, it's ok."_

_"Good … but if he understands, perhaps he could explain it to me." There was just a spark there, a tiny bit of the old Jesse, and Lauren smiled._

_"I'm sure if you give him the chance he'll try to work it all out for you, he is a cop after all."_

_There was silence in the room then, and Lauren sat, watching and waiting, until she knew that it would be safe for her to go and consider what she had learnt so far. _

After about ten minutes she felt that the time was right for her to speak again. "Jesse, I am going to leave you for a little while but I think you should stay here for at least another night. I will go and call Rae if you would like." Lauren waited, and finally Jesse took a deep breath and nodded his head.

"I don't want to stay, but … but I don't want to go home either, I don't know what I want to do, so yeah, I'll stay, and I can't talk with Rae right now, so please let her know."

Lauren could see how much conflict Jesse was fighting, and she just nodded her head. She didn't show her surprise that Jesse didn't want to be with his family, but she certainly felt it. "I will come back just after six, I would suggest you have a little dinner and maybe try to sleep for a while." This time Jesse just nodded and, getting to his feet, climbed back onto the bed. "We will get to the bottom of this and make sure you are happy again, Jesse, ok?"

Jesse knew he couldn't just nod again, and so tremulously he began to speak. "I … I have lots of questions, you could answer them later, right?"

"I can try. Now, doctor's orders, an afternoon nap and dinner."

"Yes."

Lauren waited a few seconds to see if he had anything further to add, but as the silence continued she gave his arm a squeeze and then left the room, wondering as she did so just how long it would take to get the cheerful Jesse of old back.

Jo, Mark and Steve had joined up with Daniel by the nurses' station in the ER and travelled home together in Mark's car. Michael had met the four of them at the door, and before Steve really knew what had hit him he was sitting on the sofa in the living room, a blanket over his knees, the remote control in his hand and his feet up on a small footstall.

"Guys, guys, I am planning on returning to work in the morning, I feel fine, and I really don't need this."

"They have highlights of Monday's game on in ten minutes." Daniel looked up from the television guide.

"They do? Well, in that case, Son, could you get me a couple of cold sodas from the fridge and some chips?"

"Sure, Dad, can I have one too?" Daniel smiled, saw his dad nod and left on his errand. Ten minutes later the two of them were sat waiting for the game to begin and Steve realised he had a problem.

"Ah, Son?"

"Yeah?" Daniel was reading through the game details in the paper, he liked to know beforehand what bits to look for, and watch them play by play.

"I have a slight problem with my soda." Steve had been watching the boy as he read; sometimes it was a real good feeling to observe without being noticed. He knew how close he had come this time to losing both his son and his wife and somehow that made the quiet time they were spending together more special.

"What? Sorry." Daniel finally looked up to see his dad watching him with a smile of satisfaction on his face and a can of soda in his hand. For a moment Daniel just looked back at him, but then realisation dawned. "You can't open that, can you?"

"Nope, not at the moment."

"I could go get you one of those cartons with the straw that M gets in for Eliana and Anneya if you like."

"Oh, ha ha, just open it please because the game is starting."

"Oh, right." Daniel quickly did as he was told, he knew that there was a touchdown on the first play of the game and he didn't want to miss it.

Knowing that she didn't want to watch the TV, and needing more information than Miss Prissy Knickers had been able to give her, Jo found herself sitting in the morning room with Mark trying to find out what had taken place while she had been away. "What happened? I don't understand how … I guess I just don't understand."

"Honey, all I know is that Steve brought Rae home because someone trashed her car and when they got to Oak Place Steve got stabbed."

"Did they get the guy who did it? Was the house robbed, do I need to get the security company in to reset the alarms, did Rae's car have anything to do with it …? Sorry." Jo stopped talking as she saw Mark put his finger on his lips.

"From what I understand there was just Jesse at home when they got there, and no I don't think her car had any connection to this."

"You don't mean that Jesse did this!" Jo looked on aghast as she saw him nod his head.

"I wasn't here, and I haven't had a chance to speak with either Steve or Rae for long enough to get all the details but yes, from what I can understand, Jesse attacked them. But that's where my understanding ends."

Jo sat, a stunned look on her face, as she tried to work out what could have made the gentle, fun loving husband of her best friend do anything so violent. Finally, after a few minutes, she began to speak again. "Do you think that it has somethin' to do with what happened in that garage?"

Mark knew what his daughter-in-law meant. The time that she and Jesse had spent together in the clutches of the Sweeny Todd murderer had been a horrific time for them all, but she and Jesse had suffered agonies which were unimaginable to the rest of them.

"I guess it must have something to do with that," he said, "and I did try to see him, but he was asleep and I needed to be with Steve. Mark tried to swallow down his feelings. He knew how much Jesse meant to Steve and vice versa, and he himself considered him a part of his own family. Mark also knew that what had happened was so far out of character that it had to have been caused by some sort of mental aberration.

Jo was just about to speak again when there was a loud cheer from the living room, and she chuckled and shook her head. "He's ok, isn't he, he really is ok." She didn't ask a question, but stated a fact and Mark nodded.

"Yeah, he really is … but it was close, Jo, this time it was almost too close to call."

"How can he have been almost dead yesterday an' then today cheerin' on a football team?"

"Because, in a way, all he had was a cut that needed a few stitches. Unfortunately, that cut severed his brachial artery, and so he would have bled to death if Rae hadn't gotten the ambulance there. It was a minor injury with major consequences, but once the artery was stitched there was no longer any danger of blood loss and it became a cut again."

"Thank you, Mark." She leant over and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"It was my pleasure, if you tell me what I did, I'll do it again." His blue eyes sparkled and he grinned at her. Steve was home with his family, and while he was here that was the main thing on his mind, the problems with Jesse could wait until the next day.

After her appointment with Mrs Morrison, Rae had gone to Sally's picked up her daughters and then driven back to Beverley Hills. The weather was beautiful and so she had made herself a cup of tea and taken the girls outside. While Eliana and Anneya played in their part of the garden Rae sat, at first just enjoying the scene in front of them, but then she popped back inside the house, grabbed a piece of paper and began to devise a schedule she could work to while Jesse was away.

Gradually Rae had a plan where she would either drop the girls off with Sally just before the start of her shift or, if Jesse was still in the hospital and Rae was either working a late shift, or unable to get home, then arrangements would be made for Sally to keep them overnight. Once she had it all written out in front of her Rae had called her child carer and they had talked it through.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help, every time something … something happens you're there for me." For a moment Rae was a little overwhelmed by the feelings she had for her friend. "I don't know how we would have managed without you. I would have had to get a nanny, or given up my job. I don't want to have to do either of those things. Sally, thank you."

The friendly voice at the end of the line came through loud and clear. "That's ok. You have two darling children, Eliana is polite, delightful, as stubborn as an ox, but charming with it, and Anneya, well you just wouldn't know she was there. I've noticed that she is more than happy to let Eliana do all the talking, but she is such a sweet child, I love them both to bits." Rae heard the smile in Sally's voice and knew that everything was alright, that the lives of her children would continue to have the stability and routine that they had always had, whether their mommy and daddy were home or not.


	11. Desperate Measures

> **Chapter Eleven – Desperate Measures**
> 
> Rae had called the hospital after she had spoken with Sally and hadn't been surprised to know that Jesse would be spending another night there. She'd left a message for him, telling him she loved him and that she had sorted out all the childcare for the foreseeable future. Rae had then asked to speak with Steve and been delighted to know that he was at home already. She knew that Mark would be with his son and he would have probably had to stay in the hospital a little longer if it wasn't for that fact, but she was still thrilled for him.
> 
> Eliana and Anneya had been overjoyed to see their mother and after the time spent in the garden they had made cards for their daddy, watched videos and eaten chicken nuggets and fries together before having baths, stories and lots of cuddles. Now though, they were both fast asleep and Rae, a cup of tea and all her files in front of her on the breakfast room table, let her mind wander over her day.
> 
> The horror of the morning had been replaced gradually by an acceptance of what had happened and a determination that her husband was never going to be that scared ever again. Rae had been glad that she had been able to make it into the precinct, gather up her files and leave without either picking up any more cases or receiving a call from the Captain to explain the current crisis in her life. Tomorrow was Friday, and if she could just get through that then she had a weekend in which to regroup again and work out the next steps she needed to take.
> 
> As Rae began to drink her, now slightly cooled, tea the face of Mrs Morrison came up in her mind. Rae had been so pleased to see her two daughters at Sally's and well remembered the feelings of helplessness that overwhelmed her when Eliana had been kidnapped, so she could understand just a little the devastation the woman felt at losing her only child. Rae had undertaken many difficult interviews in her career but, maybe due to the events of the day, or just because the woman had been so distraught, she knew that her time with Leonie Morrison would stay with her for a long while.
> 
> Rae knew that the Beach View Hotel had been built as an ordinary house in the late 19th century, when she had seen it though she had corrected her information, it had never been a house, it was definitely a mansion, with beautiful views over the ocean. The building work which had turned it into a hotel had obviously been successful and the main foyer was buzzing when she entered it the previous evening.
> 
> _"Hi there, I'm here to see Mrs Morrison, I have an appointment." Rae hadn't taken her ID out, not wanting to advertise her presence to the reception staff._
> 
> _"If you'll hold on, Ma'am, I'll see if she is receiving clients today, the fitness centre is closed right now." The beautifully groomed and polite receptionist flashed a million dollar smile and picked up the telephone, she spoke quietly into it and then looked back at Rae. "She says are you Lieutenant Sloan or Detective Yeager?"_
> 
> _"I'm Detective Yeager." Now Rae did get her ID out and she showed it to the receptionist, who she could see was called Janine Burnham._
> 
> _A few minutes later Rae was being escorted to the back of the main building and then on through to the fitness centre where she could see a tall, blonde lady who, Rae imagined, was about the same age as she was._
> 
> _"Detective Yeager?"__ The woman's eyes were red and puffy, her hands pulled over and over again at a piece of tissue and her whole demeanour was of someone whose world had crashed down around them, which Rae knew was just what had happened to this lady._
> 
> _"Yes, that's me." _
> 
> _Mrs Morrison indicated with a hand for Rae to go through to an office and Rae moved quietly in and waited for the other woman to sit first._
> 
> _"Ma'am, I am very sorry for your loss, and I apologise right now for having to interrupt your grief, but I really need to ask you some questions, and the quicker I have answers to them then the quicker we can apprehend the person responsible for all of this."_
> 
> _"Do you really think you will be able to do that?" The voice Rae heard was almost devoid of emotion, as if all of her energy was being put into actually functioning at all and anything additional, such as speech, was almost too much for her. "I read in the papers about how under-staffed you are in the LAPD, and then it says that the number of homicides are down but that didn't stop my baby being … killed did it?"_
> 
> _"No, Ma'am, it didn't, and however short-staffed we are, all the cops who work in this city do the best job they can, and I promise you that we will do everything in our power to catch this person."_
> 
> _For a moment the room had been silent and Rae had sat knowing that there was nothing she could do or say to ease the woman's pain. Finally, after what had been a prolonged and sad, but not awkward, silence Mrs Morrison had looked up and begun to speak again. "You'll have to tell me what it is you need to know. She was so young, only nineteen, and now she's gone."_
> 
> _"Her boss at the drug store where she worked said that she met a young man for lunch, do you have any idea who he was?" Rae had her notebook on her lap and she quickly jotted down details of the day, date and time the interview was taking place._
> 
> _"No, not really, I just know that he was called Dominic… and she was excited to be meeting with him. Do you think that he was the one who … who…" Leonie couldn't say the word and once again the room was quiet apart, this time, from the sound of crying._
> 
> _"I don't know, but we need to trace him, if only to eliminate him from our enquiries. Did Samantha give you any other details about him other than his name?"_
> 
> _"She … she said that he was really cool. Quite tall, blonde and neat, she said he was neat." The tears fell once more and this time Rae stood up and moved a little closer to the suffering mother._
> 
> _"Let me go and get you a drink, a cup of tea maybe, is there a place I can get that?" Rae got no response and so she picked up the phone on the desk traced a finger down the list of internal phone numbers until she found 'reception' she then dialled the number and waited. "Hi, this is Detective Yeager in the Fitness Centre; could you please get someone to bring down a cup of hot sweet tea for Mrs Morrison? Thank you." Rae didn't want to be told no and so replaced the receiver quickly giving the person the other end no chance to speak._
> 
> _Rae had tentatively put her arm around the grieving woman and when she wasn't pushed away had tried to offer some comfort as she waited for the drink to arrive and for Mrs Morrison to calm herself once more. She hadn't really had very much left to ask, but she didn't want to leave the remainder of her questions until another day._
> 
> _Once the tea had arrived and been drunk Rae had brought the conversation back to the matter at hand. "Do you know if your daughter had any enemies, anyone who really didn't like her?"_
> 
> _Leonie had appeared scandalised, and Rae had known that it was a tactless question, but one she had to ask. "Detective Yeager, she was nineteen years old, she hadn't had time to make any enemies. She worked in a drug store not for the FBI. She was a normal, happy child, a child … and she's gone, my baby's gone."_
> 
> _Rae knew that the woman was getting closer and closer to the stage where she would be unable to continue and she wanted to finish the interview in one sitting if possible. She waited a few minutes and then began to speak again. "Mrs Morrison, do you have a picture of your daughter that I can take with me? An up to date one would be best."_
> 
> _"Sure, can you hold on a little while and I will go get it." Rae nodded, and watched as the woman left the office. She took the time alone to make sure that she had all the details from what she had been told down in her notebook. Finally, after about five minutes Leonie Morrison returned with a pile of photos in her hands. "I … I couldn't decide which one you would like the best so I brought some for you to choose from._
> 
> _The pictures had been spread out on the desk and Rae had found it hard to focus for a moment. Sam Morrison looked very much like Jenna Palmerton, the victim before her, tall, young, blonde and beautiful. Their murderer obviously had a type of woman that he targeted, and for a moment the vision of her youngest daughter, now only a toddler, but already, in Rae's eyes, beautiful, and obviously blonde, came up in her mind and she struggled to push it away._
> 
> _"Your daughter was very beautiful." Rae didn't really know what else to say, but it was the truth. Samantha had been a stunning girl, her long blonde hair had emphasized that, she had also been the image of her mother._
> 
> _"She was; people said we could be mistaken for sisters, and it was true." The pictures had been looked at then, almost as if Rae was a friend looking at holiday snapshots, and finally she had taken one of Samantha smiling happily in the gardens of the hotel. As she watched Rae putting the picture inside her notebook Mrs Morrison spoke again. "I have no one else you know. I was an only child, and my parents are dead, when he found out I was pregnant with Sam her father dropped me as quick as he could and left town, I was fifteen. I stayed home with her until she started school and then I went back to school too and studied to become a personal trainer."_
> 
> _Leonie picked up a photo, looked at it and then suddenly she screwed it up into a ball threw it into the nearest wastebasket and screamed at Rae. "And now she's gone! We were gonna set up in business together, her and I, but she's gone. I'll never see her graduate from college, get married, have children of her own, all that's been taken from me, from her, she was destroyed, just like that picture!" The woman stood up and swept her arm across her desk. The phone, tea cups, two pictures in frames, as well as all the paperwork, went crashing to the floor and then Leonie Morrison followed it, almost deflating as she sank to her knees and the sound of her sobs echoed around the room. This time the tears that had come wouldn't stop, and Rae, knowing that she wasn't the person that Mrs Morrison needed, picked up the phone, hoping it would still work, and then finding it did, called down to reception once again, asked whether there was anyone on staff who could come and comfort the distraught woman and then waited, crouched down next to her companion, but feeling many miles away from her as well. Ten minutes later a lady from room service arrived and took over as Rae made a quiet, but relieved, exit._
> 
> By the time Rae had logged all the details of her interview and made a note of her reactions to it the time had moved on to almost midnight and she realised just how tired she was. Rae put her cup in the dishwasher, set the house alarm, turned all the lights out and climbed the stairs before falling into bed and succumbing to sleep the moment her head hit the pillow. The last thought she remembered having was that she hoped Jesse was sleeping well too.
> 
> Steve had spent a very pleasant evening watching football, eating his dinner off a tray and generally being pampered. There had been a difficult few minutes when Mark had told him, in no uncertain terms, that there was no way he was going to be going to work the following day and that he would be on reduced hours for the next week. Once the possible complications, including that of organ failure, had been explained to him though, Steve had calmed down a little, and finally, after seeing the horror in his wife's eyes, he had agreed to stay home until the Monday. Everyone had retired to bed just after ten thirty and for an hour or so the house had been silent.
> 
> Steve had been awoken by something, a noise of some kind, but he wasn't sure what it was. As he gradually began to move towards full awareness he felt Jo stir beside him.
> 
> "No … please don't … keep away from him … Jesse … Jesse, no!" She didn't know where she was, the room was dark, there were no lights but she could see him, somehow he was fully visible, and in her dream world that was perfectly logical. In the pitch black Jesse stood out, and the man with the knife was there too. _Give me your hands …_ She wanted to help, to save him, but she couldn't reach him … she wanted to scream, to shout, but there were no words. Jo tried to run towards him but her legs wouldn't work, wouldn't do anything other than walk slowly, awkwardly and she knew it would be too late. "Jesse … I'm so sorry … don't hurt him … not his hands …"
> 
> "Jo … Honey, it's just a dream, it's ok now." Steve didn't know whether to touch her, to take her into his arms or not, he didn't want to make things worse, but his wife seemed unable to hear him, or to break free of her nightmare.
> 
> "Jo … Honey …" She knew that voice, knew that it was there to help her, but in the dark it had no form, she didn't know which way to go to get to it and she swung round looking everywhere for it.
> 
> Jo began to thrash on the bed, and Steve knew that he had to take hold of her. "Jo, Honey, it's just a dream, shhh."
> 
> "Steve …" Suddenly she knew who it was, but he mustn't be with her, it was a trap, a trap for him and Rae. "No … go … go away…" The flash came up in front of her eyes and Jo felt a scream leave her lips and then suddenly she felt him, his strong arms around her and she collapsed into them, her world safe once more.
> 
> Rae was surprised by the alarm clock as it went off at half past seven. She had no memory of being asleep, but she felt refreshed and rested. Surprised by her resilience she headed for the shower, hoping that the feelings wouldn't leave her until her working day was over.
> 
> As she moved along the upstairs hallway towards the room shared by her daughters Rae thought about Leonie Morrison again. She felt so much for the woman who had lost the most precious thing to her at the hands of another. Making the decision to call in on the woman again on her way to the station Rae opened the door to the nursery and stood on the threshold for a minute or two just watching her two angels sleep. Eliana slept like Jesse, arms flung above her head and an appearance of total peace and relaxation on her face. Anneya on the other hand slept more like her mom, she lay on her stomach, her thumb in her mouth with her other hand hidden underneath her somewhere. Feeling guilty for what she was about to do Rae moved quietly over to where her eldest daughter slept and, crouching down, began to say her name very quietly.
> 
> Rae was, as always, astounded by the way the two little girls could be fast asleep one minute and wide awake and bouncy the next. They splashed around in their joint bath, laughing and giggling, and then the three of them headed down for breakfast, just enjoying being together.
> 
> Because her shift wasn't starting until eleven Rae planned to drop her children off, go and see her husband and then Mrs Morrison, after that she would head for the station where she would stay until nine that evening. The weekend would then be hers, and apart from the visit of Cheryl and Martin on the Saturday she didn't plan on doing anything more strenuous than play childish games and spend as much time with Jesse as he would allow.
> 
> As the final plate was put in the dishwasher, and Rae handed the little tablet to Anneya to put in the dispenser the sound of the flap on the mailbox was heard in the kitchen and, after receiving permission from her mommy, Eliana went rushing out into the hallway to retrieve the letters. By the time Anneya and Rae had got to the front door the elder child was bouncing on the handle. "Honey, hold on, you'll break it if you carry on." Rae turned the key, disconnected the alarm and then unlocked the mailbox. The little hand disappeared into it and came out with a screwed up handful of letters. Rae waited for them to be given to her but Eliana shook her curls and marched into the house.
> 
> "No, Momma, mine, long to Yana!"
> 
> Rae raised her eyes to the heavens, locked the box back up and went into the hallway again. They went through the same ritual every time she let her daughter have the post, if she was lucky there would be a circular or junk mail of some kind for the little girl to mangle while Rae saved the good stuff, if not she was in for a long wait for her letters.
> 
> Steve had woken just after seven but he hadn't got up, or made any movements except to keep himself comfortable. Until Jo stirred he planned to stay right next to her. He had held her gently as she had fallen back to sleep during the night, and now he wanted her to get as much peaceful rest as possible. The dreams seemed to have left her alone but he was taking no chances of them recurring if he left the room. Steve wondered if what had happened to him had anything to do with his wife suddenly experiencing nightmares, but it didn't seem an adequate explanation and so, trying to keep his mind from going round and round in circles he let it play over the different cases he was working on to pass the time.
> 
> Apart from his two main ones he had four others which he would describe as current. None of them seemed easily solvable and he had to admit that the involvement with the serial killer and the murder of his boss's wife had taken over most of his time. One of his other cases didn't involve murder at all but robbery. Although he worked for Robbery Homicide as the senior detective he tended to concentrate his mind on the killings rather than anything else, this burglar or burglars though, had been working in Los Angeles for about eight years, and only stealing very good stuff from extremely nice areas. The case was known as the Night Owl Robberies because of the calling card left in each location, with a hand drawn owl on it, and Steve had inherited it when the department had been rearranged after the carnage there when he was searching for a drive-by killer. For the most part the file had stayed firmly at the bottom of his in-tray, but for some reason he had brought the details home with him three or four days previously and they were now in the morning room.
> 
> The perp seemed to know exactly what it was he was looking for in most cases. Beautiful items had been overlooked while safes were cracked and even then some things were left while others were taken. There had been one house in Bel Air which had three safes, they had all been popped, one had been cleared out completely but the other two had been carefully searched, money and jewellery taken but two guns and a pile of stocks and share certificates left untouched.
> 
> Steve had a feeling that the person, or persons, involved somehow had inside information, that some of the time they knew just where they were going and what they were doing, and at other times they went in blind, but so far he had been unable to find a vague connection between the thirty plus burglaries, apart from the calling card, let alone a strong link. Maybe though, if he was in enforced exile for the next three days, he would be able to spend some time going over what little he did have and making it add up correctly.
> 
> The thoughts he was turning over took Steve until an hour after he had first stirred, and just as he was beginning to wish that he could at least get up and stretch his legs Jo moved slightly and placed her hand on his arm.
> 
> "Hey, Cowboy, how're ya doin' this mornin'?" Her eyes were a little haunted and she snuggled up to her husband, the light of morning somehow scaring her, although she didn't know why.
> 
> "I'm fine, but you, Jo, are you all right?" Steve wanted to hold her tight and never let her go. The sights and sounds of her terror the night before were things he never wanted to experience again.
> 
> "You know, I don't think I am, but I have no idea why."
> 
> "Honey, you had a nightmare, you were calling out, trying to protect Jesse." Steve took her hands in his own as he spoke and, seeing the memories come back to Jo, was glad he had done so.
> 
> "Oh my … I'm so sorry … I hadn't had any bad dreams at all until I was locked in that attic overnight. I … I was back there, we were chained up, sometimes together some times apart … what?" Jo stopped talking as she saw the look of horror on her husband's face.
> 
> "You were locked in the attic, what here? When did that happen?" Steve couldn't believe that Jo had been locked up and he hadn't known anything about it.
> 
> "No, not here, an' I just know it was Miss Prissy Knickers who did it. I spent the night that you were attacked in the attic at the ranch, an' I had bad dreams. I hadn't had them before, but I guess that bein' locked up did it; I … I could hear his voice, see his face." With a shuddering sigh Jo realised she couldn't continue any more and buried her face into Steve's chest, and for the next few minutes he comforted her by smoothing down her hair and speaking softly to her. Gradually though as she got herself under control his platitudes ceased and they lay, silently in each other's arms, not wanting to talk any more, just revelling in the fact that they were both safe and together once again.
> 
> Jesse had spoken with Alex the previous evening and had admitted to him that most nights he was unable to sleep properly because he either kept waking up, or he was troubled by bad dreams. Alex had prescribed him a mild sedative, and it seemed to have done the trick. When Rae arrived to visit with him, at a little after nine, he was just finishing his breakfast and he smiled warmly when he saw her. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
> 
> "I came to see you … if you don't mind." Rae didn't want to push him away, but she also knew that he had been less than delighted to see her for the last few weeks.
> 
> "No, I don't mind, but, well, my courage might fail me, and then I won't be able to deal with it, but right now, I'm pleased to see you."
> 
> Rae rummaged around in her bag for the things she had bought with her. "The girls made these for you."
> 
> Jesse looked at what Rae handed him, there were two pictures, one of two people, well, two heads with arms and legs sticking out from them, which was a picture that Eliana had drawn of herself and her sister, the other one was a spiral of colour that Anneya had done. On the back of one Rae had written Hi Daddy love Eliana in dots and Eliana had done her best to join them together, the other drawing had a second spiral of colour on the back which covered the same message from Anneya.
> 
> "Thank you." Jesse didn't know what else to say, and as he carefully looked over at his wife he realised, with a sinking feeling, that she had no idea how to continue either.
> 
> The silence was awkward and seemed never ending. Suddenly though, Rae remembered that she did have something to tell him. Fishing around in her bag once again she looked up to see Jesse smiling at her.
> 
> "What?" Rae knew that her husband hadn't made a miraculous recovery, even when he smiled there was a part of him that it didn't reach, a part of him that couldn't let go and be his old self.
> 
> "You remind me of Mary Poppins, you haven't got a hat stand in there have you?"
> 
> "No, just the tape measure which says Rae Travis, practically perfect in every way!" Rae smiled and laughed as Jesse replied.
> 
> "Yeah, right! So what have you got?"
> 
> "This." Rae showed him the letter that she had rescued from Eliana that morning.
> 
> "Wow, our baby, going to pre-school." Jesse shook his head, in some ways it didn't seem five minutes since he had rushed Rae to Community General Hospital when their daughter had decided to make her entrance into the world two months early, and now she would be going to school. His life had had many wonderful moments since he had met Rae, so why couldn't he focus on them? Instead his mind went over and over the bad times, making him feel trapped, inadequate and desperate for escape. Suddenly he needed to be alone, wanted his wife to go, to leave and take the memories good and bad with her.
> 
> "Jesse?" Rae didn't know what had changed, but she knew that something had. She had seen the shutters come down and Jesse retreat behind them. "Honey, what's the matter?"
> 
> "Nothing, just leave it, Rae, go to work, I want to be by myself." Jesse turned his head away and his entire body shouted at Rae that he no longer wanted to even see her.
> 
> With a deep sigh Rae stood up, put the letter from Eliana's new school in her bag and left the room. As she reached the doorway she paused and looked at Jesse again. "Take care, Jesse, I'll come by this evening, and maybe I'll be able to take you home." There was no reply and so with a heavy heart Rae closed the door behind her, wondering whether or not she should have come.
> 
> Matthew had gone out early for the newspaper and now Dominic had it spread out over the dining table looking at every headline. "It must be here somewhere, how can it not be here?" The discovery of the body had been made; he knew that, he had travelled past the area just the night before and there had been nothing there to show that either he or Sam had been there. Suddenly he saw it, tucked away on the bottom of page three,
> 
> **_Second Local Girl found killed. _**
> 
> ****
> 
> _The body of nineteen year old Samantha Morrison was found in __Palisades__Park__ on Monday, she had been stabbed. Anyone with any information should contact either the homicide division of Pacific Community, or __North Hollywood__. _
> 
> There were no pictures or any other information but carefully Dominic clipped the article and made his way to the door of the third bedroom and then taking a deep breath and letting out a shudder he opened it and entered.
> 
> Rae was surprised to see police tape up at the Beach View Hotel. Rae surveyed the scene from the sidewalk and realised that she didn't actually recognise any of the three cops she could see talking to three hotel employees. At least she presumed they worked at Beach View, they were all wearing the same uniform as she had seen the day before.
> 
> Rae took her ID out and moved over to a young officer who was standing just inside the tape.
> 
> "Hi, I'm Detective Yeager, North Hollywood division; I need to get through to the actual hotel so I can check up on a member of staff."
> 
> "We aren't letting anyone in at the moment, Detective, one of the staff members was found dead this morning, and until the medical examiner has come and surveyed the scene and told us whether it's murder or suicide, well, I'm afraid you'll have to stay here."
> 
> Rae suddenly began to get a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she looked around to see if she could see the officer in charge. Not having any luck she spoke to the young man again. "Look, I should be at the station in …" Rae checked her watch, "good grief, ten minutes, who's in charge here?"
> 
> The officer, who Rae could see was called Officer Findlay, looked around himself and then spotting who he was searching for pointed out a tall man in a pair of black jeans and a black leather jacket. "That's Detective Windsor, he's in charge."
> 
> Rae headed over towards where the man was speaking to a woman who, both from her clothes and the fact that she had a trolley full of cleaning equipment, was obviously from the housekeeping department. She waited at a discreet distance until Detective Windsor had finished talking and then showing her ID again she quietly explained why she was there. The young detective listened intently and then indicated for her to follow him into the hotel. Three minutes later Rae was looking at the body of Leonie Morrison as it hung from one of the weight training machines in her gym and Rae knew that their murderer had claimed, indirectly, his third victim.


	12. Victim Support

> **Chapter Twelve – Victim Support**
> 
> Rae had stayed at the Beach View Hotel for almost three hours, having called the station first to let them know that she would be delayed.
> 
> Because of the link between Leonie and Samantha, Rae had suggested to Detective Windsor that he request Amanda to come and oversee the removal of the body and the forthcoming autopsy.
> 
> Rae found that she was enjoying working with Reece Windsor; he was a little younger than she was, a tall black man with laughing eyes. At probably six two, maybe six three, he was about the same height as Steve, he had his hair in tiny braids across his head and down into the nape of his neck. His black jeans were obviously new, the perfectly plain white t-shirt that he wore didn't have a crease in it, and his black leather jacket was clearly well loved. They got to know each other as they waited for the medical examiner to arrive, and Rae got an insight into a lifestyle completely different to that of both her partner and herself.
> 
> Steve, she knew, had had a safe and secure childhood. He had been in the privileged position of having two parents who loved him dearly, a sister who, although no longer living, had provided a stability and type of companionship which wasn't available from anyone but a sibling. Life had dealt him some rough blows, Rae realised that, he had served in Vietnam which she knew had scarred him in ways very few people could understand, he had lost two members of his immediate family over the years, but as she sat talking to Reece she learnt about a contrary start in life, and an alternative set of goals.
> 
> "So, Rae," Reece smiled, he had called her Detective Yeager, but she had insisted on a more familiar way of being addressed, "it's a pleasure to meet you; I guess you get fed up with people saying that your reputation precedes you."
> 
> "It depends _how_ they say it!"
> 
> "I'm a friend, I promise, so, have you been to this part of town before?"
> 
> "Yeah, I think I've seen most of the really nice places, plus all the seedy bits, dumpsters and other locations where bodies seem to accumulate!"
> 
> "Do you ever wish you were back in London?" Reece looked interested and Rae had shaken her head.
> 
> "Oh, no. I like it here, I mean look around you, sun, sea, sand, well, just over there is sea and sand." Rae gesticulated in the general direction of the ocean, which was just across the highway. "I have made a complete new life for myself, I have a husband, two small children, friends; no, I like it here, very much. How about you, do you wish you were some place else, or doing something different?" Rae hoped she hadn't overstepped the boundaries of a very new friendship, but somehow she knew she hadn't.
> 
> "I've never wanted to do anything else. I wanted to be a cop from the first time I saw one of my neighbours get hauled off for some misdemeanour or other. And where I grew up it was happening all the time."
> 
> "And it didn't make you hate the guys who were doing that? I mean let's face it, when we arrest someone we aren't always that gentle are we?" They had sat down on the low wall outside the entranceway to the fitness centre, and the two detectives were enjoying the warm sun.
> 
> "I guess we're not, are we? But no, it didn't make me hate them; it made me want to do a better job, to make sure that there was some sort of equality, or the chance of it. I guess you know enough about Los Angeles now to know that if I tell you I was born and raised in Watts that it wasn't Beverly Hills."
> 
> Rae had smiled politely, not knowing whether her companion realised where she actually lived. "No, I know it isn't. So you never changed your mind, decided you wanted to do something a little less … dangerous?"
> 
> "Well, for a while there I wanted to be Charles Barclay or Kareem Abdull Jabar."
> 
> "I beg your pardon?" Rae had looked completely bemused and Reece had laughed out loud.
> 
> "Who were your heroes when you were growing up?"
> 
> "I wanted to live like the Liver Birds, or go see Peter Bonetti play. I guess heroes weren't as universal when we were growing up, huh?" Rae saw him shake his head. "The Liver Birds was a TV programme about two girls who lived in a flat … sorry, apartment, my mum wouldn't let my sisters and me watch it, but we used to keep the sound down low, and Peter Bonetti was the goalie for Chelsea, who were my football … which is soccer here, team!"
> 
> "And Barclay and Abdull Jabar are basketball players. I wanted to be just like them, I got the height, but I can't get a ball through a hoop no matter how hard I try. How about Magic Johnson, the Refrigerator or Mr. T? Or Denzel Washington, there are days when I **still** want to be him!"
> 
> "Now those I know. Um, Donny and Marie Osmond?"
> 
> "Oh yeah, all teeth and hair! And did you notice that your heroes were white and mine were black? I was staring at a future that included guns and drugs, but going into me, not being investigated by me, I didn't want that." Reece looked down for a moment and Rae remained silent, she had a feeling that she had traveled somewhere painful and she had no intention of intruding.
> 
> "When I was eighteen my brother was killed in a drug raid. He was clean, but he was there, he was black and he was shot. I had good enough grades to go to college, and as soon as I graduated from there I went to the police academy."
> 
> "And now … do you get up each morning and be a cop for yourself or your brother?"
> 
> Reece looked at her and Rae felt his eyes bore into her. "Nobody ever asked me that before." There was silence again for a while, "I think that first of all it was for Darryl, always for Darryl, but now, no, this is for me. I like being a detective. I don't know if I would still be a cop if I had to be a patrolman the rest of my life, but as Detective Windsor I am working for me, to be the best I can be for me and maybe then for my family." He smiled, "Thank you, it's good to know that."
> 
> "Hey, Rae!"
> 
> Amanda's voice cut into their conversation and the two detectives stood up and greeted her.
> 
> "Amanda, I'm glad to see you, but it's not my case, this is Detective Windsor, it's his call."
> 
> Reece held out his hand and smiled as he did so. "Hi, I've seen you from afar, but I don't think we have worked together before."
> 
> "No, I think I would have remembered, I'm Amanda Bentley, Doctor Amanda Bentley, and I'm pleased to meet you."
> 
> They walked together into the fitness centre, ducking under the police tape, and no longer talking, all of them feeling, somehow, that it wasn't seemly.
> 
> "How come you're here, Rae?" Amanda stood looking up sadly at the body of the woman who was hanging down from a set of overhead bars that covered the ceiling.
> 
> "She is the mother of Samantha Morrison, the second victim of our serial killer…" Rae stopped as she saw the horror and sadness in her friend's eyes. "I was worried about her and so I was just calling in on my way to work, I guess I left it a little too late."
> 
> "You know these bars don't seem to fit with a fitness centre, more a school gym." Amanda was still looking up as she spoke, but no one answered her.
> 
> They all stepped back as one of the crime scene officers began to take their pictures, watching as they circled the body making sure they got photos from all angles. Reece wandered over to where there was a set of brochures in a wall display and, once he had pulled on his gloves, he took one and began to look through it. "Is this her daughter?" He handed the pamphlet to Rae, who was now also wearing gloves. She looked at a set of photos which adorned the advertising for the fitness centre. Leonie was in all the pictures, either on her own or with clients. Samantha was obviously playing the part of a very beautiful, fit member of the club.
> 
> "Yeah, that was her. Her mom said that they were planning to go into business together; I guess this place was just too much for her to bear…" Rae felt the fury suddenly rush up inside and she clenched her fists as she spoke again, "You know when we get this guy, and trust me we will get him, she won't go down as one of his victims, but she is, just as surely as her daughter."
> 
> Rae's voice had echoed around the large room they were in, feeling helpless and angry she turned away and Reece went to follow her, but felt Amanda's hand on his arm. "Leave her, she'll be ok. She's a tough cookie, but she feels these things, she'll come back in a couple of minutes and carry on, but she's right, unless I find signs of foul play, this will go down as just another suicide."
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Steve had spoken with Rae on the phone just after two, and had heard the anger and pain in her voice as she told him what had happened. He had asked her to e-mail through the interview notes from the day before, together with anything else that related to the killings that he hadn't seen yet. Once he put the phone down Steve moved out into the garden and sat in the sun. He was surprised at how tired he still felt, and he closed his eyes and let the rays warm him through.
> 
> The incident which had resulted in him being home began playing from beginning to end in his mind like a video tape. As he saw the knife make its arc shape in front of him once again he gasped and opened his eyes, suddenly glad that he was sitting in his own yard and not the precinct. He had been worried about Jesse ever since he had come home from the hospital after the explosion. Whatever way you looked at the happenings in the garage both Jo and Jesse should be dead, they weren't, but they weren't as they had been either, and Steve remembered Alex's words as he explained a little of their injuries that first awful night. It would be a long time before they got their old Jesse and Jo back, he had said, if they ever did.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Lauren had arranged to see Jesse in the afternoon, hoping that she would be able to sign his discharge papers and revert to their Monday appointment schedule. He had arrived in her office just after two, dressed to go home, and had taken up the offer of a cup of coffee.
> 
> "How are you feeling today, Jesse?" Once again the recording equipment was doing its work, and this time, because they were in the counseling suite of the hospital it was being videoed as well.
> 
> "I'm ok. Alex gave me something to help me sleep, and you know it really does help." Jesse had his hands cupped round his drink, taking warmth from the china. "I don't dream, and when I wake up I actually feel like I have had some rest, I … I can't remember the last time I felt that way." Jesse looked down at his hands, he was a doctor, he shouldn't be here being treated, he should be doing his job.
> 
> "And what part of that do you find a problem? The lack of sleep, the admitting to it, or the fact that you might have to take tablets for a while?"
> 
> Jesse considered the question for a minute and then looked up, "All of them I guess, somehow none of this is easy any more."
> 
> "You know, I don't think it ever was easy for you to tell me anything, but I've been going back over your files, and I realize that you've been gradually shutting down ever since Rae and Steve rescued you from the garage… Jesse?" Lauren was instantly concerned as her client flinched and tried to disappear into his chair at the mention of Rae and what she and her partner had done.
> 
> "What?" Jesse wrapped his arms around himself feeling suddenly cold and uncertain.
> 
> "I want you to tell me a little of how you feel when you think about what happened with Don Werner."
> 
> For a few minutes Jesse sat, almost unblinking, staring into space, he seemed to be unaware of the world around him, as if he was so deep in thought that it effectively cut out everything else that was happening. Finally he took a breath and began to speak.
> 
> "I'm fine, it happened, and I was scared, but it's over now, I don't have a problem with it any more." Jesse looked over Lauren's shoulder; somehow it was easier than looking in her eyes.
> 
> "I see, so if I needed to get some information from you about it you would be ok to talk it through with me, or maybe if Rae needed to have some questions answered you could do that?"
> 
> "I don't think that she does have questions, Steve was there, he knows what happened, she could ask him, and I told you already, so you don't need any more information."
> 
> Lauren flicked back through the typewritten notes in front of her, the time Jesse was mentioning had been just after the actual explosion, he had still been in the hospital and the meeting had been in his room. Although still on a lot of pain medication he hadn't been sleepy or muddled, and they had talked together easily, although the subject matter had been anything but that.
> 
> _Lauren had sat quietly by Jesse's bed for a little over five minutes before he began to speak. She knew that he was suffering great pain, but she had checked his chart and he had been given his last set of meds just an hour before so he was relatively pain free at the moment. Her heart had gone out to him as she had seen him for the first time since his release. The superficial wounds were healing over, and she knew they would disappear in time, his legs were hidden under a metal cage to prevent the bedclothes putting any weight on them, and his arm was suspended at an angle so that there would be no edema caused. But it was his face and his hair that produced the most distress. He looked haunted, and his head was almost red raw where she could see the results of his hair being pulled out by the roots. She knew that physically he would recover, but mentally she was very concerned for him._
> 
> _"Hi, I wondered when you would come see me." Jesse had looked at her, and tears had formed in his eyes._
> 
> _"If you think it's too early to talk things through then I can go, but I really would like to get our meetings started today." Lauren had a pad of paper on her lap, and although she hadn't written anything yet she already had observations which she wished to note down._
> 
> _"No, I want to talk about it, I need to talk about it, but not to Rae, or Steve, or anyone who was there, I need to discuss it with someone who doesn't know what happened."_
> 
> _Lauren had nodded her head, she could understand his feelings, if he talked about it with his wife or his friend there would be a need to thank them over and over for saving him, and she knew that even though neither of them would feel that was necessary she was certain Jesse would. "Ok, well, you talk and I'll listen, but I think I need to start a little before you were taken, did you know about Don Werner, what he had been doing?"_
> 
> _"Yeah, I knew, it was an awful case, and it was really getting to both Rae and Steve, they found a dismembered head in the freezer, Steve found, well he found … genitalia in his truck, I knew that if they didn't get a break soon it would wear them both down. We knew it was a cop, a vice cop, we just didn't know which one."_
> 
> _"I see, and did you feel in any danger because of your wife's involvement with this guy?"_
> 
> _Jesse had shaken his head and a wave of pain had crossed his features. "No, not this time. I have in the past but this time, although it was awful, it was just a case that she and Steve asked for help on, nothing more."_
> 
> _"And when you were taken, how did they get to you?" Lauren looked up, interest on her face. She hadn't read the reports purposely so that everything Jesse told her was fresh and new, there would be plenty of time to catch up on the official version later._
> 
> _"I should have realized, known that something was up, I know there are some crazy guys behind the wheels of the cars in this city, but this was different, when I look back he knew who we were, I had a Texan heiress in my car for crying out loud, and I let him tailgate me for miles." Jesse had paused then, lowered his eyes and looked at the bed sheets for a while._
> 
> _"Jesse," Lauren had a sudden idea and continued speaking even though her friend and patient hadn't answered her, "do you blame yourself for what happened?"_
> 
> _Jesse had thought again, but Lauren couldn't gage his reactions until he began to speak. "Sort of. I know that I'm not to blame for what he did to us, but the car, I'm married to a cop, Jo used to be one, and we just let them take us. We made it too easy for them."_
> 
> _"Jesse, what is the official line if you're car-jacked?"_
> 
> _"If the guy has a weapon, give up your car, but if someone tries to abduct you, you should fight back."_
> 
> _"You are right on both counts, but you weren't abducted by one person, there was two of them wasn't there?" She had received a nod and so continued talking, "and you knew that the whole LAPD would be looking for you. Jesse, the two of you could be dead now if you hadn't gone with him, you can't blame yourself, and you were on the highway, I don't think that you need to reproach yourself for any of this."_
> 
> _"But if I'd gone a different way, or had spotted him and pulled into a busy parking lot or something he may have driven off." Jesse had been silent again and this time Lauren knew he was putting feelings together. "No, he wouldn't, would he? He wanted Jo, whatever happened he wanted her, at least this way I was there, she had someone with her all the time." The realization that he had helped seemed to calm Jesse down considerably and he had turned and smiled at Lauren. "Thank you, I hadn't looked at it that way before, I guess I did help didn't I?" The smile that had crossed his face then had been so bright, so real that Lauren had reached over and taken his hand and squeezed it, she had been worried for him, but maybe, just maybe he would come out of this intact after all._
> 
> Lauren looked up; the session had ended just after that as Jesse had begun to tire. They had talked about what had happened over the next few weeks, but, as she had realized earlier in the day as she re-read all his notes, Jesse had become an expert at keeping his feelings tightly controlled, and she hadn't actually gotten anything very much out of him since then.
> 
> "Jesse, do you want to go home?" Lauren knew the answer, but she needed to see his reaction, she wanted to see if there was any fear or trepidation in his answer.
> 
> "Can I? Yes please, I miss my girls, and I just want to be back where I belong. I want to work too, Lauren, please."
> 
> Lauren sat and thought for a few minutes, then she picked up the phone and put a call through to the ER department; as she waited to be connected she spoke to Jesse. "I'm going to speak with Doctor Sloan; I don't think you should treat patients right away, but maybe if you work on the clerical side for a week or so, see how things go."
> 
> Jesse nodded his head and then saw Lauren react as a voice spoke to her through the phone and he knew that part of his immediate future was about to be decided, and he had no say in it.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had, in the end, spent most of the rest of the day helping Reece Windsor interview staff members at the Beach View Hotel, and by the time it got to six o'clock she felt tired and disillusioned. The friends and colleagues of Leonie had painted a picture of a woman who had found herself later in life than most. She had struggled to give her daughter a strong, happy and secure upbringing, and as soon as she was able she had gone to school and taken her GED then, once she had passed that, she had finally gone to college.
> 
> The fitness centre at the hotel had been successful before Leonie had taken charge of it, but it had become even more so in the two years she had been there. Samantha had graduated high school, but knew that her mom couldn't afford to send her to college and so she had offered to work for a couple of years so that she could fund her own education.
> 
> Once they had finished at the hotel Rae had said goodbye to Reece and, making a quick decision, decided to drive by the drug store where Samantha had worked to speak with the manager if it was still open. As Rae had thought, it was a twenty-four hour store and she could see a middle aged woman standing behind the counter. Rae knew that Steve had spoken briefly with the woman after Samantha had been identified, but she had been too upset to give him any information, and in the end, as she had become breathless and faint he had put a call through to her doctor, and concluded the meeting. Now though, the woman looked in control of herself, and there were two other members of staff also working, so Rae was confident she could get the interview over with and that when Steve returned to work on Monday they would be up to date with everything, or as up to date as they ever got!
> 
> Rae moved up to the counter and smiled. "Hi, I'm Detective Yeager; I'd like to speak with Mrs Thorne please."
> 
> "Yes, that is me, it … it was a man last time. I'm glad it's not him again; he was really nice, kind too, but well, I made such a fool of myself." The woman took Rae's ID which she had taken out of her jacket pocket and then she looked closely at the photo and back at Rae. "I'm sorry, I don't see faces too well."
> 
> Rae felt her heart plummet, she had held out high hopes for possibly the one person who had seen Samantha with Dominic. Still at least they had a name for the guy now, and thankfully it wasn't Jacob, or Michael or one of the other very popular ones.
> 
> The two women went out into the small staff room at the back of the store and Mrs Thorne sat down. Rae waited a minute, realized that an invitation wasn't going to be forthcoming, and sat down anyway. She was so tired that she didn't think she could stand up for a whole interview.
> 
> Forty-five minutes later, it was clear that no one in the drug store had enough information for them to be able to provide an accurate description of the main suspect in their murder enquiry. Rae now knew that Dominic was taller than Sam, had blonde hair, which could have been light brown, was wearing blue denims which might well be black, and had a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Mrs Thorne had gotten very tearful as she explained how she had offered for Sam to take some extra time on her lunch hour as long as she worked through the afternoon.
> 
> "I got so angry you know when she didn't come back. I mean I had given her extra time and still she was late. I was going to fire her when she arrived. I can't have that sloppy time keeping, but I didn't know, how could I have known? Maybe if I hadn't said she could have a long lunch break maybe she would still be alive." The tears had started in earnest then, and Rae, remembering what had happened the last time someone had spoken to her, kept a very close eye on her. Once the tears slowed a little Rae placed her hand over that of the distraught woman.
> 
> "Ma'am, even if you had banned her from seeing Dominic he might still have gotten to her somehow and killed her, there is no way of knowing what would have happened. But I don't think that those extra few minutes made any difference to her fate, I really don't."
> 
> "She was such a lovely girl, she saved all her money, didn't go out much, her mom was really her best friend … Oh, Leonie, she must be taking this so hard, and I haven't even gone to see her, I will go tonight, right after you have gone I will go see her."
> 
> Rae carefully placed her hand back on her own lap and took a deep breath. "Mrs Thorne, Mrs Morrison died this morning." Rae knew that there would be no chance of any other information, but she also thought that she had everything she was going to get. There was no security film of the time Sam had met Dominic, the camera was positioned to show the cash desk, the rows of shelves where customers were out of sight of the assistants, the pharmacy and the main door. Dominic had been seen entering through the door, but the area had been in shade, and his face wasn't visible. It was also impossible to see whether the lady who thought he had blonde hair was correct, or the one who thought brown.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . . **
> 
> Jo had found Steve fast asleep in the garden, the cares of the last few days forgotten as he sat, his long legs out in front of him, and his head leant back against the high backed chair he was sitting in. For a while she had sat on the grass just enjoying being with him, watching him, loving him with every fibre of her being.
> 
> Jo needed to speak with Steve, but somehow studying him was a far more satisfying pastime, and so, for about thirty minutes there had been no sound except that of the birds in the trees, and the occasional car driving along the road in front of the house. Slowly though Jo could tell that Steve knew he was no longer alone, and so, not wanting to put all his police defenses on alert she moved over and gently took his hand.
> 
> "Hey, good lookin' whachadooin'?" Her voice was soft and husky, she suddenly realized that she didn't want to talk, and Steve waking up slowly and looking up into her eyes pulled her onto his lap and began to kiss her. Jo melted against him, running her fingers through his hair before letting her hands play down his spine, feeling his skin through the material of his shirt, and then pulling it from the waistband of his pants so that she could gently massage his back muscles. Steve let out a deeply contented sigh before moving slightly so that he could plant tiny kisses down her neck until Jo carefully moved back from her husband's embrace and helped him to his feet; she walked back inside in silence and took him up the stairs. The house was empty and as he followed her Steve felt himself becoming more and more aroused, and when Jo entered their bedroom and closed the door behind him he took her into his arms and began running his fingers through her hair as he kissed her once more.
> 
> Their love-making was slow and sensuous, neither of them wanting it to end, but finally, as the light dimmed on the early fall evening they lay, naked, in each other's arms not needing to say anything or do anything, just loving each other, totally.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had called the hospital from her car after interviewing Mrs. Thorne and was thrilled to find that Jesse had been discharged. She asked whether she needed to come pick him up but she was told that he had gotten a lift from a friend, and was no longer in the building. Rae smiled to herself, Jesse was a popular member of staff, and she was sure that there would have been no shortage of offers to take him home. Rae then called the station and let Cheryl know that she wouldn't be coming back to the precinct. It was a little earlier than she should be finishing, but she was so despondent after the interviews that day that she knew she would be about as much use as a chocolate teapot until she got some sleep.
> 
> Rae picked up her daughters from Sally, listened as she told her that Eliana had once again had an asthma attack, paid for the services she had received, and also gave her the bouquet of flowers she had purchased on the way over.
> 
> "Oh, Rae, they are just lovely, but you shouldn't have." Sally had gazed at the beautiful flowers and taken a deep breath of the heady scent of the roses and carnations that were all held together in cellophane.
> 
> "Sally, I don't know what I would do without you; you won't let me pay you more than I do per hour, just today you cared for Ana when she was sick, you do so much. This is just a little indication of how thankful I am that you are the one looking after our daughters."
> 
> The child carer leant over and kissed her friend on the cheek. There had been many times when she had wished that she looked after children whose mommy and daddy worked normal hours, but then either Eliana or Anneya would smile and give her a kiss and a hug and she knew that when they finally both went to school she would miss them terribly, and that all the worry and concern was worth it if it helped give them a stable upbringing.
> 
> "It has always been my pleasure to look after them, and you pay me above the going rate anyway." Sally paused for a moment and then began to talk again. "I haven't liked to ask before, but how is Jesse?"
> 
> "He's better than he was. Lauren discharged him, so he should be waiting when we get home." Rae couldn't help herself, she just beamed as she spoke.
> 
> "Well then, what are you doing standing on my step? Get going, go home and have a lovely family weekend, and I'll see the girls on Monday." Sally made shooing gestures with her hands, and laughing, Rae walked back down the path with one little girl clasping tightly each side of her.
> 
> The traffic was heavy, and the pool car had a rattle Rae wasn't sure about. She would have to go and look for a new car the next day, or at least check the internet. Rae glanced at her watch, it was half past seven, and she didn't feel at all like cooking. "Girls, I think we will call into Bob's and grab ourselves some dinner, what do you say?"
> 
> "Yay, ribs!" Eliana bounced in the back of the car, her booster seat making the noise that only polystyrene against nylon could. She didn't have ribs, but the beef sandwich with coleslaw and salad, Anneya had the same, but Rae usually took it to pieces and let each little girl eat it with her fingers.
> 
> Pulling into the parking lot Rae carefully unfastened the car seat that her youngest daughter was in and then hitching her up so that she was sitting on her hip she moved around and opened the other door and waited for Eliana to release her belt. They had come to an agreement the day that her eldest daughter learnt how to undo her buckle. If she left it alone until her mommy said otherwise, she could be the last person to leave the car and make sure that the doors were locked. So far it was working like a charm. The little girl climbed carefully out of the car, moved over to the passenger door, stood on tippy toes and looked in through the glass. As the two buttons engaged in the doors she turned. "Okey Dokey, let's go!"
> 
> Rae shook her head and laughed; someone some day was going to have their work cut out being married to Eliana. Rae held out her hand and felt the soft smooth flesh of her child's hand as it slipped into hers and then carefully they made their way towards the bright lights which advertised the barbeque restaurant.
> 
> Barbeque Bobs wasn't busy; in fact as Nadine put a fresh vase of flowers on one of the tables near the door, she wondered whether it would liven up at all. It was a Friday night, and usually either Steve or Jesse would be working. Tonight though she knew that Alex Martin would be coming over to cash up at the end of the evening, and he had left a message telling her to call him if it got busy before ten, which was when he was planning to arrive. Nadine shook her blonde ponytail and looked around again, there were only three tables occupied in the whole place, and there were four people on duty. She had a feeling that Alex would be getting his quiet night in. The sound of the bell above the door heralded a new set of customers and Nadine turned, a smile on her face which froze in place, as she saw who had just come in.
> 
> "Rae, hi, you should have called, I would have gotten your order ready. I don't have room for you to sit, why don't you go to the car? I'll get it brought out to you, or better yet I could have it delivered to your house, how would that be?"
> 
> "Nadine, what's the matter?" Rae tried to move a little further into the restaurant, but the young woman wouldn't let her. All her cop instincts came on alert and Rae was just about to speak again when Anneya began to call out.
> 
> "Dadda, Dadda!"
> 
> "Rae, please, go wait in the car." The pleading tone in Nadine's voice finally got through to Rae and she turned and left the restaurant, trying to ignore both the sound of her childrens' cries, and the view behind Nadine of her husband holding hands with another woman, the same woman she had seen him kissing just days before.


	13. Difficult Decisions

> **Chapter Thirteen – Difficult Decisions**
> 
> Jesse heard the voice of a child and turned, pulling his hands away from Susan's as he did so. His heart fell to his feet as he saw Rae rush from the restaurant, taking his two daughters, who had no idea what was happening, with her.
> 
> "Momma, Momma, Daddy is there." Eliana's voice travelled back towards him, and he stood up not really knowing what he was going to do, but having to at least move.
> 
> "Daddy? Jesse who is that?" Susan stood up as well and moved in front of Jesse. She had recognised the woman as the one who had called out in the hospital and then run from the building; it was obviously something she made a habit of.
> 
> "That's Rae, she's my wife, and they were my two children."
> 
> "You're married?" Susan couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Well, it can't be that happy if you didn't think to even tell me about it!"
> 
> Jesse sat back down, what she said was true, and he nodded. "No, we aren't happy, but … and my little girls … but it's been …" Jesse stopped talking, he didn't want to talk about it, Susan didn't know, and he needed it to stay that way.
> 
> Nadine came over towards the table and put down their order; she then turned and retreated without a word, not knowing what to do, feeling so sorry for Rae, angry with Jesse and whoever it was with him, and wishing she could just throw her apron on the counter and go home.
> 
> Rae had stopped at the first Macdonald's she'd seen, and much to Eliana's delight had bought the happy meal the child was now eating in the back seat of the car. Anneya just had the little toy and would have her meal heated up when they got home. The car was silent; Rae had asked Eliana if she was ok, she had said "yes, Mommy" and that had been the end of the conversation. Somehow her daughter knew that now was not the time to babble.
> 
> The house was quiet and it seemed bigger than usual. Rae locked the doors behind her and made her way into the breakfast room. She put the happy meal box down on the table and moved across to the sideboard to get Anneya a plate. When she turned back her daughter was happily munching cold fries and strangling her burger, so she let her just get on with it.
> 
> The scene of Jesse holding hands with Susan rose up in her mind again. Her husband wouldn't even let her touch him, but now she had seen him kissing another woman as well as what had happened tonight. For a moment all Rae could think of was hiding in the house until Monday and then deciding what to do next. How could Jesse do this to her, to their children? For the first time in as long as she could remember she had a caseload which contained nothing that she needed to bring home as baggage. Their girls were getting to an age where they could go out and do wonderful things together, they didn't have to get up every night to sooth a fractious child and Jesse wasn't here. He wanted to be with someone else rather than her. She wasn't sure how to deal with that.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Matthew stood on the sidewalk outside of the small restaurant that he occasionally frequented. He needed to get a drink so he could take a couple of aspirin, and get on with his evening. It was seven thirty and he was on the wrong side of town, but he wasn't sure if he could even make it unless he got rid of the throbbing in his head. With a sigh he moved across and in through the door to the busy, popular meeting place and looked around. As he did so he felt the unmistakable feeling of Dominic coming to meet him and he shuddered.
> 
> The restaurant wasn't the type he usually ate in, it was small, and it was light. But he looked around, and the radar that seemed to accompany him when he was out began to kick in. Dominic had never been able to explain it, but sometimes it was as if he was looking through a haze, he would see everything that was going on, what everyone was doing, but then one person would become his, he would latch on to what she was doing, saying, and he would know that she was the one.
> 
> Now as he moved across to the counter to see if he could get himself a drink Dominic looked at the occupants of the tables. There was a dark haired couple, obviously waiting for their order, they had a beer each and were laughing and joking together. Two tables further down was a family of five, their table was stacked with food, set out in the middle so that they could all dive in and take what they wanted. Two tables at the back of the restaurant were vacant but had reserved notices on them, and just in front there was a table for four, although it had just two people using it. Their food was in front of them, but it was untouched and the conversation seemed deep and Dominic was sure that neither of them was aware of anyone else around them. The girl was pretty, she wavered a little in his vision, but she was taken, and he didn't do that, it was wrong to take.
> 
> "Can I help you?" A voice cut across his thoughts, a male voice, and he turned to see a young man, blonde, mid twenties smiling at him.
> 
> "Uh, yeah, do you sell just drinks? I have a real bad headache and I want to take some pills."
> 
> "No, not really, but I can get you a glass of water if you would like."
> 
> Dominic nodded his head, wished he hadn't, as it just increased the throbbing, and spoke instead. "Thanks, man, that would be great." He watched the waiter walk away from him, and decided that he was obviously a surfer dude, a real airhead. It was then that the clouds cleared, suddenly in his line of vision there she was, and he knew that the headache was fate, he was never meant to cross town, here, right here, was the one.
> 
> "There you go, it's on the house." Once again the male voice cut across him and he jumped.
> 
> "Thanks, but maybe I should have something to eat too. That would help with a headache, right?"
> 
> "Yeah, it might, we have a table over there, you go right ahead and I'll send a waitress across to you."
> 
> Dominic smiled and moved in the direction he was sent. Waitress, the surfer dude had said waitress, so if he was lucky, and he usually was, then his goddess would serve him, and he could make his plans accordingly.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The Saturday morning dawned fine and bright, and Rae, needing to clear her head after a night full of dreams of Jesse, just out of her reach, either desperately wanting help and her being unable to give it, or him rejecting her and leaving her desolate, made her way down the stairs and through the house. Rae stood in the doorway of the playroom and looked out at her garden. The lawn was cut every week by Texas's gardener, but she had told her friend that she would like to do some of it herself. Now she was regretting that decision, but she knew that the Sloans' had their hands full right now with Steve still recovering from his injuries and she didn't want to trouble them with trivialities.
> 
> The flowerbeds closest to the house were empty and Rae thought it would be nice to go and get some winter plants or bulbs and make them look pretty. The girls could help her and they would be able to spend a nice day together. The plans made, she went back into the house as another idea formed in her mind. She picked up the phone, dialled a familiar number and invited her friend to go shopping with her.
> 
> "Rae, the girls are next door, we have been ready for ten minutes, what are you doin'?" Jo looked at her best friend as she fished about in the pockets of her coat, and then began pulling things out of them.
> 
> "I use it for work, I don't want to take all of this with me, and I need to leave a message for Jesse … Just in case he wants to come home." Rae opened the drawer to the hall table and dropped a pair of handcuffs and some latex gloves into it. It wasn't used very often and only contained a bus timetable and two sticks of gum.
> 
> "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin', you just take your time an' leave as many messages as you want." Jo felt furious with herself, she knew that Rae must be struggling at the moment, what with her husband in the hospital, her partner just home and she was worried about the time she was taking to get ready to go out.
> 
> Rae smiled at her friend, and then moved over with the intention of just giving her a little hug, but there was something in the way that Texas looked at her, the way she took her into her arms and held her tight that was the undoing of her. "Oh, God, Texas, help me, everything is so hard."
> 
> "Rae?" There were no tears, but Jo wasn't surprised, she knew how much Rae hated to cry, but she was shaking, and so, carefully, she moved her into the lounge and sat her down on the sofa. "Honey, what's wrong? Is it Jesse, has he done somethin' else, or the girls, they seemed alright when they went with Steve an' Daniel?"
> 
> "I … I think my marriage is over." Rae looked away from the love she saw in the eyes of her friend, right now it was almost impossible to accept. Instead she looked up at the picture on the wall across from her. It was, to her at any rate, just a landscape, but Jo had told her one afternoon that it was worth about $50,000 and Rae had been frightened to dust it after that.
> 
> "What do you mean? You an' Jesse, but … but you love each other … Rae, I don't know what to say." Jo just stopped talking; she would never have anticipated her friend's words.
> 
> "I saw him … when I got home from Santa Barbara … the night that he attacked Steve and me … at the hospital, kissing another woman, and then yesterday evening, I picked up the girls … I knew he'd been released from the hospital, I called in at Bob's to get some dinner … he was with her again … he was holding her hands. Texas, he won't let me near him, but he could kiss her and touch her, and … and I think I've lost him … I don't know what I've done wrong … but … but he's gone." This time the tears did come, and as Jo held out her arms Rae leant into them and cried on her shoulder until there were no more tears left, and she could feel the dampness on her own back as her friend cried with her.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Mark was sitting happily in the sunshine, the wind slightly catching his hair as he read the Saturday paper on the deck of his home. Kira was playing with a small beanbag that she had been given the day before. Mark had been turning out one of his magic boxes and it had fallen on the carpet. The cat had instantly pounced on it, and he hadn't had the heart to take it back from her. Now it was skittering across the wooden floor of the deck and Kira was jumping and bouncing after it.
> 
> Alex had driven off to the hospital just after eight. He had worked a shift at Bob's the night before, going in earlier than he had planned because Mark had been on duty and he would get dinner for free. The house had the friendly silence of somewhere well loved which had a chance to sit happily and contentedly for a while, and Mark finished reading an article on a new application for thalidomide tablets, and then began to carefully clip it from the paper to put in his research folders. As he made the final cut he heard the door bell ring and was ashamed as his heart fell.
> 
> The journey to the front door didn't take long, but in the time he took to get there Mark had resigned himself to a less peaceful day, and also accepted it. He very rarely got much time to himself, and he supposed that the two hours he'd had that morning was his quota for now.
> 
> "Jesse, what are you doing here?" Mark had no idea who he thought was going to be at the door, but he was more than a little surprised to see his young friend standing in front of him.
> 
> "I … I wondered whether I could come in, just for a while." Jesse looked around in an uncertain manner, and immediately Mark recovered himself.
> 
> "Of course, come in, come in." Mark guided him gently over to the sofa and watched as he seemed to collapse into it. "Jesse, what's wrong?"
> 
> "I just need a place to stay for a coupla days, I have to go see Rae, but I can't stay, but here, I could stay here, couldn't I?" Jesse was horrified to hear a tremor in his voice and he stopped talking instantly.
> 
> "Yes, of course, you know that, but why, Jess, why can't you go home?"
> 
> "I can't talk about it, Mark, I'm sorry." Jesse turned away from the kind eyes of his friend, not knowing what to say or do to explain what had happened to him.
> 
> Mark knew better than to probe and so he forced a smile as he spoke. "No problem. Do you want to stay in here, or are you tired? I can make up the guest room for you. Alex lives in Steve's apartment now, so I have free rooms."
> 
> "I … I don't know, Mark, I don't really know what I want to do, I'm tired, if I sleep I dream, but I don't know what to do instead. I'm scared, almost as scared as …" Jesse stopped talking.
> 
> "As scared as what, Jesse?" Mark was instantly on alert as he saw his friend begin to shut down.
> 
> "Nothing, Mark, it's nothing, maybe I'll rest for a while and then go for a walk along the sand, if you don't mind." Jesse stood up and moved, a little uncertainly, towards the bedroom.
> 
> "Of course I don't mind, but if you want to talk, you know I'll listen don't you?"
> 
> Jesse just smiled and carried on walking, as he got to the top of the stairs he turned and smiled, and for a moment was the Jesse Mark usually saw. "Thanks, Mark; I knew I could rely on you."
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Steve and Daniel knew that their day with Eliana and Anneya would be busy and enjoyable. Daniel had offered to stay home and do whatever his dad wanted him to, and Steve knew that it wasn't only the need to earn money for his trip, the boy genuinely loved the two little girls, and as he watched his son, Steve felt the love he had for all of them sit happily inside him and he could think of no place he would rather be.
> 
> Jo had called him on his cell phone about an hour after he had left her with Rae and Steve had been surprised to hear that they were still home.
> 
> "Sloan, here… Hey, Honey, where are you …? Oh, no that's not a problem, I figured you would be gone most of the day anyway … Jo, tell her how sorry I am and I'll see her soon… yeah, I love you too, bye." Steve shook his head as he closed down his phone, and for a minute or two the pleasure of the morning disappeared and he watched his goddaughter and her sister as they played on the lawn in front of him, so special, so innocent, and he shrugged the feeling as far away from him as he could and made his way over to join them.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . . **
> 
> Mark had watched the empty doorway for a while after Jesse had left the room not knowing what else to do. Finally he had walked quietly down the hallway and peeked round the door, Jesse was lying on the bed, his eyes closed and Mark thought that he was already fast asleep. Remembering what he had said about dreams Mark resolved to spend the morning within easy reach of his young friend, and so he fetched his briefcase from his own bedroom and decided that he would use the next hour or so to catch up on paperwork.
> 
> Mark didn't know what demons Jesse was fighting, but he knew for certain that he had things crowding his mind that he couldn't deal with alone. He also knew that Jesse had yet to find the person he could trust to discuss them with and, until he did that, none of them would have a chance of getting the old Jesse back. The telephone conversation that he'd had with Doctor Lauren Yung the previous day had caused Mark to both hope and despair, almost in equal measure.
> 
> He wanted Jesse back at work, he was the best doctor on his team and there was no doubt in his mind that the ER worked far better when Doctor Travis was on duty. He was delighted that Jesse wanted to come back and was optimistic that it meant some parts of his life were as he wanted them to be, but the fact that Lauren felt that paperwork was as far as it should be allowed to go right now made him very concerned for his young friend.
> 
> Mark wanted to speak with Jesse, to know why he had done what he did to Steve, but he knew that however much his need ached to be fulfilled there were others who were suffering more than he was, and they had to be the ones to speak with Jesse first. With a sigh Mark ignored his paperwork and returned his attention to his newspaper, he always used to wish he got the entire thing to himself when Steve was home, but now sometimes he missed the fact that he no longer had to search the house for the sports pages.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Jesse had woken up suddenly, not sure at first where he was, once he had got his bearings again he had been unable to keep still, and knew he needed to get out of the house for a while. After speaking with Mark for a few minutes he went down the deck steps and walked along the beach until he knew that he was far enough away that Mark could see him, but not close enough that he felt his eyes on him the entire time. He needed time to try and evaluate the way he felt about things, and somehow, much as Steve did, he felt at peace on the sand. _Steve_. There was a major problem right away; he was his best friend, the man he had always been able to turn to in a crisis, and since he had known Rae there had been plenty of them! Now though the very thought of him turned his hands cold and clammy, made his breath become laboured and he knew that if he was to turn and find him standing beside him now he would have a full blown panic attack. What he didn't know was why.
> 
> The evening that he had lashed out and stabbed Steve was still a blur in his mind. He knew what he had done, and he knew that the memories he had were substantially correct, but the fear had been so overwhelming, so total, that he couldn't bring himself to try to analyse why he had reacted that way.
> 
> He thought for a moment about his two girls, he loved them more than any other living souls on the planet, and they had, between them, made his life almost totally complete. He missed them terribly, but being with them was too hard, maybe he could bring them back to the beach house for a couple of days, that way they could spend some time together, and he knew that he wouldn't be afraid.
> 
> Jesse checked his watch, it had been almost an hour since he had begun his walk, and he knew that Mark would get concerned if he didn't go back soon. He still hadn't faced his main problem, and that was Rae. Jesse knew that he had to go see her, at least try and face her, but every time he even thought about her his whole world became so dark, so complicated that he had to push the thoughts away and think about someone else, someone like Susan.
> 
> He smiled; Susan had come back into his life at just the right time. He needed someone who had been gone, someone who didn't know … for a second he stopped, he kept thinking this about Susan; he needed her because she didn't know. She'd had no idea who Rae was, he could be his old self with her because she had never seen his new self … again, he was thinking it again, she didn't know, but he didn't know either, couldn't work out what it was, there was something there, something that was stopping him from getting his life back to normal, and he had to find out what it was, or at least he had to try.
> 
> For a minute Jesse looked up at the sky and watched the seagulls as they swooped and circled above him. There seemed to be no logic to their movements, but he knew that they were watching, watching and waiting, and when they saw their prey they would swoop some more and pounce. He had been prey, they had left him and he had been taken, no one understood that, no one, but he had managed, gradually he had gotten himself together, and then … then when he felt strong, felt able to talk about it, it had happened again. He should have known, they'd said no one would believe him, they would say they did, would say they understood, but in the end he was alone, he'd been alone then, and he was alone now. It had all been fine until he had told, he should never have told, maybe if he didn't tell now, things would get back to how they used to be, and no one would need to know what had happened.
> 
> Jesse shook himself and stood up. He made an instant decision, took his phone out of his pocket and called his wife. He would speak with her, make her understand, that it was best for him this way, that maybe it would be best for her this way too. He speed dialled the number and waited.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . . **
> 
> Rae had fallen asleep after she and Jo had eaten a sandwich together for lunch and she had still been that way mid afternoon when the phone in the hallway rang and Jo moved quickly to answer it so that it didn't disturb her.
> 
> "This is the Travis residence… Jesse?" Jo looked around and was relieved to see that the house was still quiet. "Jesse, where are you…? Oh, ok … no she's nappin' right now … about an hour or so, I'll tell her, an' Jesse, she loves you, she just wants to help, you do know that, don't you … well, we all will if we can… Yeah, bye now." Jo put the phone down and turned round; she nearly jumped out of her skin when Rae was standing right behind her. "Oh my, don't do that!"
> 
> "Was that Jesse?" Rae's hair was messy and sticking up from sleeping on the sofa, and her eyes were still red from the tears she had shed.
> 
> "It was, he said that he wanted to see you an' he would be over in an hour or so."
> 
> Rae's face lit up in bright smile, "Thank you, if we can just talk, we can work it out, I know we can."
> 
> Jo wasn't so sure; Jesse's voice had been devoid of emotion, not the normal friendly cheerful tones that she associated with the husband of her best friend, and the man she knew had saved her life. Not wanting to disillusion Rae though, Jo just nodded. "Do you want me to keep the girls so that you can talk?"
> 
> "No, no, thank you, I'll come get them in a while, he has seen too little of them lately, and they miss him so much. I could make a nice dinner, have a bath, I must look a total wreck, Texas, can we go shopping another day?"
> 
> "Honey, of course we can, you just do whatever it is you need to do an' I'll go back home an' rescue my husband from your two darlin' girls, an' maybe get to spend some time with them myself." Jo leant over and kissed Rae gently on the cheek. "Anytime, Rae, you know that, don't you?"
> 
> Rae just nodded as her friend turned and walked through the front door. For a moment she stood and watched as she crossed the lawn in front of the house, and then, her mind already working out what she would cook, Rae went into the kitchen.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The market place was crowded, he had thought that waiting until the afternoon would have meant that he could get things easier, that he wouldn't have to hang around, but maybe he was wrong.
> 
> Matthew looked at his list, there weren't many things on it, and it wouldn't take very long to buy it all and get back home. There was dry cleaning to pick up as well, the Armani suit, and two white shirts, he mustn't forget that. The date tonight was important, he knew that Dominic would want to look his best, would want to make a good impression. For someone so laid back, so smart he sure had bad luck with women, they all seemed to leave him, go out with him once and then drop him. For a minute Matthew smiled, maybe Dominic wasn't that much better than he was after all. With that pleasant thought still in his head Matthew made his way to the florist and picked out the most perfect pair of red roses he could find.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had prepared the meal so that when Jesse got home she wouldn't have to leave him alone. She could stay in the room while he spent some time with his daughters, and then they could all eat together. The girls would go to bed, and maybe, just maybe, they could enjoy each other's company, and she could pretend that their problems were on the wane. Lauren had said that he was ready to come home, and even though Rae knew that Jesse would still be seeing his therapist every week that didn't matter to her, if Jesse was there then they were taking the first steps, and together they could accomplish anything. Jesse hadn't given an exact time when he would arrive and so now she sat in the playroom with her girls, listening to every car, hoping against hope that it would be his.
> 
> She heard the key in the lock at the same time as Eliana and the three of them made their way out into the hallway, Anneya following along in her sister's wake, cooing and laughing as she saw her father.
> 
> "Daddy, Daddy, I love you!" Eliana flung herself at Jesse's knees, just as she had always done, and even though his smile was a little forced he crouched down and took her into his arms.
> 
> "Hey, Sweetie, I love you too." He moved one of his arms and Anneya began to hug him as well, and Rae, standing back so that she didn't crowd him, watched the scene with a feeling of great contentment.
> 
> Jesse had been surprised that Rae had cooked, the meal had been lasagna and everybody had cleared their plates, although Anneya seemed to get most of hers over her bib and the table cloth. Jesse hadn't eaten since the hasty breakfast he had grabbed after he had left the motel he'd spent the night in, and hadn't realised that he had been hungry until he started to eat and he had been glad that Rae had been so organised.
> 
> "Rae, that was a lovely meal, thank you." Jesse smiled, and although it didn't reach his eyes, he was telling the truth, he had enjoyed the food, and he wanted her to know.
> 
> They played with the girls for a while and then Rae took them upstairs to have a bath. She could see that Jesse was feeling tired, and so she suggested that she put them to bed with a story, and he could do it the next night. He nodded his agreement, and with a happy smile Rae climbed the stairs, looking forward to coming back down in about an hour to spend a little time with him. Maybe she had been wrong, maybe Jesse did want to be with her, with his family.
> 
> By the time baths had been had, hair washed and dried, stories told and prayers said, it was almost an hour and a half before Rae climbed back down the stairs and headed for the breakfast room. To her surprise Jesse wasn't in there and so she returned to the hallway and was just about to go into the kitchen when she saw two suitcases by the entranceway.
> 
> "Jesse?" Rae called his name and then saw him coming down the stairs with another of his bags as the realisation of what he was doing hit her. "Jess, where are you going?"
> 
> Jesse jumped, he had wanted to be finished before she came back downstairs, but it had taken him longer than he'd thought. With a heavy heart he placed the case with the others, walked across the hallway, past his wife and on into the breakfast room, where he sat on the sofa and waited.
> 
> Rae watched her husband and then followed him into her favourite room in the house. The baby listener was plugged in and switched on and she could hear her two daughters chattering away to themselves in the background. Pushing the sounds away she sat in the chair nearest to her husband's position and ran her fingers through her hair. "Jesse, where are you going?"
> 
> "To Mark's, I … I can't stay here, Rae, there are too many things I can't deal with, and I know you don't want me to be alone with the girls, it'll be better if I go."
> 
> "No, Jesse, please, we can deal with this, sort it out together … I know I can't let you be alone with them, not yet, but soon, when we know you are completely better, but this is your home, you love this house, we can work things out here, Honey, I know we can."
> 
> "Rae, we can't work things out, because … because I don't want to work them out… You shouldn't have come." Jesse knew that sounded bad, but he also knew that if he thought back to before Rae came to LA then he wasn't overwhelmed by memories
> 
> For a minute Rae couldn't speak, couldn't understand what her husband was saying but then she found her voice. "I don't know what you mean, please, Jesse, tell me what you mean."
> 
> Jesse paused, even as scared and mixed up as he was, he knew that what he was saying would hurt Rae deeply, but still he had to finish what he'd started. "You should have stayed in London; none of this would have happened if you hadn't been here. Steve, Mark and Amanda they were my friends, my family, I didn't need anyone else, I should have known better." Jesse became silent; he didn't look at Rae, not because he didn't want to, but because he had no need to.
> 
> "You wish you'd never met me?" Rae was stunned and she had no idea how to react to his words. A feeling of numbness spread through her and she just sat, waiting for the next bomb to drop.
> 
> "Yes, I wish I'd never met you, because if I hadn't then none of this would have happened. I never took time off work before you came, now I'm never there, Steve and I were the best friends of anyone I knew, now I hardly see him, and you are always there when I do, Mark and Amanda, that's changed too, and it's all because of you and what your life has done to mine!" Jesse's voice had got louder and louder and as he finished talking he stood up as if to leave, but Rae grabbed hold of him.
> 
> "Honey, please, don't go, we can work this out, we've been happy, I need you, Jesse, I'll do anything you want if you'll stay." Rae knew that she was pleading, begging, but it was true, anything that Jesse wanted she would do, if only he wouldn't leave. "Don't you have any feelings about the two of us?"
> 
> "Us?" Just the thought of being with her again chilled him to the bone. "There is no us, you and me, it's over, I'll give you a divorce, there won't be any problems, and I'll work out with a lawyer about money for the girls, and visitation rights." He checked his watch and stood up, the pain and disbelief in Rae's face was beginning to unsettle him, "Mark will be expecting me home soon, I'll grab my other bags and see myself out. My house keys are in the dish in the hall… Take care, Rae."
> 
> She watched him as he turned and left the room, the words spinning in her mind, _divorce, visitation rights _and then as if in a dream she too stood and moved out into the hallway again.
> 
> The bags were gone, and this brought her back to the reality of the situation and she rushed out of the door just in time to stand, tears streaming down her face, and watch as Jesse reached his car. She stared in disbelief as he put his bags in the trunk and climbed into the driver's seat and then she saw the love of her life start the engine, drive out of the driveway and disappear from sight.


	14. Repercussions

> **Chapter Fourteen – Repercussions**
> 
> The evening was, for late fall, very pleasant and Dominic carefully began his rituals. Whenever he went out on a date he liked to do everything in a strict order, make sure that it was all perfect. So far the suit was hanging on its dry cleaner's hanger on the front of the closet, his socks were carefully ironed and lying on his bedroom chair with a new, pure white, pair of shorts. Both shirts were also hanging up on closets with a tie over the right shoulder of each and he would decide which one he was going to wear in a minute or two.
> 
> Now though, he was sitting at his dressing table with a tall square white candle burning and for a moment he watched its reflection in the mirror in an almost hypnotised state. There was a small book of photos in front of him, along with a glass of red wine and one of the roses Matthew had purchased earlier in the day. Carefully, almost religiously, he began by taking a sip of his drink, then he started to go through the pictures he had taken, some of them openly, but most of them in secret. There were scenic shots of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco with Tanisha standing smiling in front of it. They'd had such a good time, and she had wanted him to take her photo, wanted to have a tangible memory of their date.
> 
> Dominic stared at Tanisha for a little longer and then he leant down and took a plastic package from the bag at his feet. Inside it was a neat, combed and braided, section of blonde hair. Holding all the tresses together at the top was a tortoiseshell barrette, and underneath that was a piece of paper with Tanisha written on it.
> 
> He placed the hair on the dressing table and then flicked through a few more photo pages until he came to what he was looking for. The scene changed to the Presido in Santa Barbara. The fortress was stunningly white against the blue cloudless sky and Juliana could be seen taking a group of tourists into the building. Dominic smiled, he'd known she was the one the moment he saw her, and had spent the entire day either watching from a distance or going on the tour and listening to her gentle voice and looking at her beautiful face. After a minute he reached down once more, the hair he retrieved this time wasn't braided, but held as a single long straight strand, again it was held together at the top and the name was there, not that he needed it, her hair, like all the others, was easily recognisable.
> 
> The third set of pictures was of the tallest girl he had ever dated, her name had been Mary Sue Evett, they had spent a day, at her insistence, walking through the beautiful countryside in Topanga State Park. He hadn't wanted to go, but it had been perfect, they hadn't seen a soul all day, they had walked, laughed and joked and he had some great pictures. Mary Sue had been on vacation in Los Angeles, an Australian she loved to walk and surf. He had met her on the beach at Malibu and by the end of the afternoon they'd had a date arranged for the next day. He'd called in sick and spent the day tramping up and down hills and enjoying himself thoroughly. Mary Sue had been different in another way, in her bag of things there was a special pair of sneakers, one of her legs was longer than the other, she'd had a raised shoe so that she could do all the things she loved.
> 
> The hair that he pulled out of the bag had a slight kink to it, just a little natural wave but it had still hung almost straight, just as he liked it. Mary Sue had tied it all back in a ponytail while they were walking, but he had leant over to kiss her as they ate their lunch and gently pulled the band out, letting it fall over his hands and down her back.
> 
> She had looked so different with her hair down, more so than any of the other girls, and he had tried the hair in all sorts of different styles as she lay there, face down so he could concentrate on the part of her that drew him, that would always draw him to a woman.
> 
> Finally, Dominic went to the very back of the book of photos. The face that stared up at him, the face of the one, was the most beautiful of all. There were pictures of the two of them on the steps of Colton Hall in Monterey, smiling, holding hands, just enjoying each other's company. For a second his vision blurred and Dominic closed his eyes, letting two tears fall onto the plastic covering of the page in front of him. Then, just as he always did, Dominic looked once more at the pictures, picked up the red rose and held the bloom in the candle flame until it flared and then died.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae couldn't really remember what actually happened after Jesse left in any great detail. She knew she came in, locked the doors and made her way to the breakfast room where she sat until it became too dark to see. She had then gone up the stairs, had a shower and, once she was dressed in her nightwear, pulled her robe a little tighter and made herself comfortable in one of the burgundy easy chairs which were in the sitting area of her room.
> 
> She was still there the next morning when the voices of her children penetrated the cold chill which seemed to have settled around her heart. Carefully she got up, her aching muscles protesting at the movements after so many hours in the same position and walked down the hallway towards the girls' bedroom.
> 
> "Aii, Mommy," it was Anneya who saw Rae first, and the little girl, sounding so much like her sister when she had been just over a year old, smiled and stood up in her crib.
> 
> "Hey, Sweetie," Rae stood in the doorway, not really knowing what to do or say. She knew that Eliana, at least, would expect Jesse to still be there, would want to know where her daddy was. With a deep sigh Rae moved into the room, leant over the high rail and picked up her younger daughter.
> 
> The house was quiet as the girls ate their breakfast and Rae sat, a hot cup of tea in front of her, wondering what she ought to do next. Eliana was due to start pre-school the next morning, and Rae had hoped that she and Jesse would have been able to take her together. As she sat there, working out in her mind what her daughter would wear, and how she would explain to Anneya that it would only be her at Sally's in the mornings from now on, the phone rang in the hallway and she got up to go answer it.
> 
> "Hello?" Rae heard the desperation and longing in the one word she spoke, and then tried to ignore the crushing disappointment when it wasn't Jesse making the call. Instead she listened as Steve suggested that if she had some time that day they could get together and discuss their two main cases. She said she would be round in just over thirty minutes and then with a sigh replaced the handset and went back to the breakfast table. The girls would have fun with Daniel and Michael, and Rae could do with some friendly company, but then she heard Jesse's words in her mind saying how she had taken Steve from him and felt guilty, hurt and confused once more.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Mark had worked overnight in the ER and made his way sleepily into the beach house just after nine in the morning. He could hear the sounds of life coming from Steve's apartment; somehow it would always be that in his mind, even though Alex had been living there for a long time. The beat of something Alex called garage music drifted up and Mark had to admit it was catchy, although not in an easy, sing along sort of way. He closed and locked the front door and wandered absentmindedly into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of freshly made coffee, and smiled as he saw the smaller frame of Jesse, sitting at the counter, a mug of the steaming liquid in front of him.
> 
> "Hi, Jess, did you sleep well?" Mark had heard Jesse arrive back from his visit with Rae the previous night just as he was about to leave for the hospital. He hadn't had time to speak with him, but he had seen from Jesse's body language, as he came in the house, went straight along the hallway, and into his bedroom, that his young friend wasn't at all happy.
> 
> "Yeah, although I had a little visitor." Jesse tried a smile, he had, in fact, been delighted when Kira had nosed open his bedroom door and then made herself comfortable on the pillow next to him. Even though Alex had inherited their cat when he and Rae had moved to the gated community in his mind he still thought of her as his, or his and Rae's. The smile disappeared and Mark knew that Jesse was still as troubled, if not more so, than the day before.
> 
> "Jess, is there anything I can do to help you?" Mark sat down on the stool next to Jesse and waited quietly.
> 
> "I don't know, there's so much in my mind, all sort of … juggling for position y'know, and I have no idea which of it is really important and which of it I can ignore. I just want to start afresh, leave behind what's happened and get on, but I don't even seem to be able to do that right now." Jesse picked up his cup and took a long drink of the coffee, it was a good blend and he felt its warmth as it travelled to the heart of him.
> 
> "Jesse, there's a saying that a trouble shared is a trouble halved, and I would gladly listen and try to help you, so will Rae, Steve, Amanda, Alex, and Jo, just to name a few."
> 
> "Yeah, but a friend in need can be a damn nuisance too, and … I don't know how to start … or what to say." Jesse put his cup down on the counter and hung his head. Almost all his conversations with his friends were difficult these days, they never used to be that way, and he wanted his old life back.
> 
> Mark stood up and placed a hand carefully on Jesse's shoulder. "I have to go get some sleep, but when you're ready to talk, all of us will be ready to listen." He waited a moment in case Jesse replied, but when nothing was forthcoming he removed his hand, slapped it gently on Jesse's back, and headed for his bedroom.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The shirts were in the wastebasket again, and the blood, always the blood. Matthew knew that he couldn't put the basket on the fire escape any more, and the last time he'd tried to burn something inside all the fire sprinklers had come on. That hadn't been in Los Angeles though, but San Francisco, they hadn't stayed there long he remembered, the apartment had been nice, the views across the bay had been wonderful, but the superintendent had been a harridan and Dominic hadn't liked her at all.
> 
> Selina Witty had been tall, with dark brown hair, and used to be a prison warden. Matthew had felt safe with her guarding the block they lived in, but Dominic hated it. Not that it should have been a problem; he never talked to anyone anyway. It was always left up to him to pay the rent, get the groceries, and deal with all the inconveniences while Dominic hid inside in the evenings, after working all day.
> 
> He still didn't know what to do with the shirts. The suit was boxed up ready to go back to the dry cleaners in a day or so, and there would be a note left, probably the next Friday, for Matthew to pick it up. Sometimes he had to take it too, and then it took a little longer to get it back. With a sigh Matthew picked up a brown bag that he had carried some of the groceries home in and then he held the shirts by their collars and dropped them inside. He rolled the bag down as small as he could get it and deposited that into his garbage bag. It would be collected the next day and that would be the end of that little worry.
> 
> With a shudder Matthew ran his fingers through his hair and then smiled as Dominic returned. He moved towards the neat and tidy bedroom and the things he had to do.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> "So, what you're saying, basically, is that we have a middle aged woman, with no known enemies, who was, as far as her friends knew, the sister of the Chief of Police for Los Angeles, an opera and community theatre buff, who should be sitting, right now, with John Masters, sipping margaritas in Santa Barbara! We haven't got very far have we?" Rae slapped the folder down on the table and it made a satisfying thwack as she did so.
> 
> "Yeah, I guess I am and no we haven't. We've gone over her financial records, looked into all the members of the various committees and groups that she was a part of and found nothing. I have no more idea now why she was killed than I did when Cheryl and I first got the case." Steve shook his head; maybe Rae would be able to think of a new direction to go in.
> 
> "Oh well, that's reassuring then! Why don't we just shred the whole lot and take the next week off!" Rae spat the words out, the ache inside her being replaced by a huge and furious knot of resentment.
> 
> "Rae!"
> 
> "What? Look at us, shoving papers about like it matters! We have no idea who killed Elizabeth Masters, we have a guy slicing and dicing his way across LA and we haven't got a clue about him either! I'm just sick of the whole damn thing right now!" Rae stood up abruptly and moved towards the door intending to go out to where her daughters were playing with Texas, but Steve was closer than she was and got there first.
> 
> "Just hold on a minute here, what caused that?" Steve placed a hand on each of Rae's shoulders, but made sure he kept at arms length.
> 
> "Nothing, just leave me be. Maybe we would be better off working separately for a while. We can't get anything sorted together, so you work with Cheryl, just like you used to and I'll get Newman to assign me to some other poor sap."
> 
> "What?" Steve just looked at her, not knowing where the verbal onslaught had come from, and not really sure how to deal with it. "Rae, Honey, what's wrong?"
> 
> "Nothing, like I just said, leave me be. Or are you having trouble understanding that too?" Rae wrenched herself out of Steve's grasp, turned away from him, and left the room via the French doors out into the garden where he heard her voice and then crying as she gathered up her daughters and went home.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The road leading to the lake was almost empty and once Hank Dingus had gone through the gate at the end of it he waited happily on the grassy pathway for his son to catch him up. Dillon was carrying all the picnic gear and not complaining, so Hank reckoned it was the least he could do.
> 
> "Gee, Dad, I thought we were coming to do a little fishing, you know, keep out of Mom's way while she's organising next week's church social, not move out here for a month." Dillon, who was a tall, amiable young man, caught up with his father and stopped for a moment putting down the wicker basket in the soft bouncy grass as he did so.
> 
> "Son, if I thought it would cause peace to reign at home I would stay here until new years. But, thank the Lord; it is only her responsibility once every twelve months so I guess we should be grateful… Son?" Hank looked over to Dillon noticing that the boy had tensed up and was staring to his right.
> 
> "Dad, I think you need to call 911."
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Mark groaned and turned over in bed, something had woken him, but he wasn't sure what. He opened his eyes and came face to face with Kira. "Well, that solves that little mystery; guess I didn't close my door properly, huh? He shooed her off the bed and checked the clock on his nightstand; it was just before three in the afternoon, which meant he had slept for a little over five hours. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to get back off again Mark stretched and then got out of bed. He looked at himself in his dressing table mirror as he passed it and then, without a word, headed for the shower.
> 
> By the time he was clean and a little more alert Mark could smell the coffee which he guessed would always be on while Jesse was staying with them. He knew that Alex had an afternoon shift at the hospital and so would already be gone, but the two of them had a good living relationship, meeting when they could, and respecting each other's space. Alex was a fine doctor, and he was polite, tidy and conscientious. He always paid his rent a day early and Mark couldn't be more pleased with the way things had worked out. It had been a big step for Steve to move on, but an even bigger one for him to take someone else into his house permanently. Now though, his problem wasn't Alex, but Jesse. He would let the young man stay with him as long as he needed, but he didn't want him to hide away out here in Malibu when his problems were still waiting to be faced back in Beverly Hills. They needed to be addressed, and he hoped that he would be able to help Jesse do just that, however long it took.
> 
> "Hey, Mark, did you sleep well?" Jesse looked up from where he was sitting at the dining table, his laptop open in front of him and the newspaper folded back to show just one page laying beside that.
> 
> "Yeah, I did, think I could've done with about another hour or two, but that's the way it goes some times, I guess." Mark moved round the table, to see what Jesse was looking at, but stopped as he saw him shut down the lid of his computer and turn over the paper. "I'm sorry; I should've asked first, I just wondered what you were doing."
> 
> "Nothing, it was nothing." Jesse looked around a little furtively and began to move his chair out so that he could leave the room.
> 
> "Jesse, stay still, for a minute, ok?" Mark put his hand on the back of the seat and to his relief Jesse did just as he was asked. "You know that I'm happy to have you here, don't you?" He waited for an answer. "Jess?"
> 
> "Yes, I do, and I appreciate it, if you want me to pay rent, you know I will, and buy my own coffee, that sort of thing, I … well, you know how much I eat."
> 
> "Jesse, hush. If you're still here in a month's time then maybe we can talk about it." Mark prayed silently that that would be one conversation they didn't have to have. "Right now, I'm more concerned about your state of mind than your eating habits."
> 
> "Mark?" Jesse looked at his friend, his blue eyes troubled and his expression anxious.
> 
> "Jesse, there's just you and me here right now, Alex is at work, I'm not due in until six tomorrow morning, and I really think that if you don't get some of this off your chest you're gonna burst."
> 
> "Mark, I don't understand, what do you want me to say?"
> 
> "I don't know, but I do know that everything I ask you, other than easy things like, 'do you want cream with that', makes you either clam up completely, or tell me there is nothing wrong, or you are doing nothing, or there is nothing on your mind. Jesse, that's an awful lot of nothing and it sure is doing something to you." Mark had sat down as he had been speaking, moved his hand over and taken hold of the newspaper that Jesse had tried to hide. The job column for healthcare professionals stared up at him and Mark shook his head. "Find anything interesting?"
> 
> "Yeah, maybe … no, nothing as interesting as what I'm doing right now."
> 
> "Jesse, you're doing paperwork right now."
> 
> "I know, which shows you how bad the jobs were." For a second Jesse was back, the real Jesse, and Mark wanted to grab him and hold on tight, so that they could keep him with them forever.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The phone rang in the hallway of Oak Place and with a sigh Rae put her book down and began to walk into the hallway.
> 
> "I'll get it, I wanna do it!" Eliana's voice rang out across the space between the playroom where she had been and the breakfast room door which was where Rae had got to before her daughter called out. "Lo, Yana here… K. Bye." Eliana carefully put the receiver back on its rest and turned with a big smile. "Unki Teve."
> 
> Even feeling as bad as she did Rae had to smile, it had been a long time since she had lived through a child of hers hanging up each time they answered the phone, and this time she was enjoying the innocence and simplicity of it.
> 
> "Thank you, Sweetie." Rae picked up the handset and dialled in the number and waited. "Steve, you called me… No, and I'm sorry … oh great, no, Steve, he's not, he … he went back to the beach house last night … no, I should have said something … well, if you're sure they won't mind … ok, no problem, I'll see you in a minute." Rae put the phone down and turned to see her daughter standing looking at her very seriously.
> 
> "Mommy, you didn't say bye." Eliana had her arms folded and Rae could hear herself in her daughter's voice.
> 
> "Well, I'm very sorry, but we have to go see Uncle Steve and Aunty Jo, so I'll say it then, ok?"
> 
> "K, Unki Teve, I go see Unki Teve, and Neya?" Eliana stopped jiggling up and down and put her serious face back on.
> 
> "Yes, and Anneya too." Rae moved with her eldest child into the playroom to grab some books and videos as well as Anneya, she had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> "So, tell me again what we have." Rae had her notebook resting on her knees as Steve drove them to Toluca Lake.
> 
> "Caucasian female, age about twenty to twenty-five, blonde, probably, dead, definitely, left in underbrush just over the boundary from the golf course … with her feet slashed and a red rose in her hand." Steve slowed for a set of traffic lights and then turned left onto Sunset Boulevard.
> 
> "Great, so that makes it three. Dammit, I hate these kooky guys! They give me the whim whams." Rae closed her book and slid it into the pocket of her jacket and the car was silent for the rest of the journey.
> 
> "This is a nice place, quiet, unassuming, just the place to dump a body." The main street of Toluca Lake was wide with a few cars parked on either side of it. Rae could see some expensive looking stores through the gaps in traffic, and she wondered how the small town would deal with being used in this manner.
> 
> Steve turned off the main road and down a residential street. The houses were large and, for the most part, set back from the sidewalk with green front lawns and double garages. There were two houses with for sale signs outside them, and Rae wondered whether that would change too.
> 
> As they turned a corner the road ran out in front of them and Steve pulled in behind a black and white and an ambulance which were effectively cutting off the entrance to a small gated pathway which Rae could see disappearing from view just in front of her.
> 
> "Come on then, let's see what we've got." Steve undid his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. There were five or six people watching from the other side of the road, and about eight children sitting on the edge of the pavement, skateboards and bikes in an unruly pile next to them.
> 
> "Hey, Cop, wanna hand?"
> 
> "Leon, be quiet!"
> 
> A child's voice floated over to where Steve and Rae were now standing, but it was immediately hushed by an adult, possibly a parent standing close by. Rae grinned at Steve, ran her hand through her hair and moved off in the direction of the small track she had seen from the car.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Dominic had carefully washed the clothes he had retrieved the previous evening, and now they were dried and ironed and waiting for the next part of the process. He picked up the blue jeans which had a soft red velvet pattern imprinted over the denim. He folded them neatly, as if they were new and placed them inside a large clear plastic bag. Then he picked up the shirt, also a burgundy colour, but there were some blood stains on it which, although he had tried, wouldn't come out. Once again he folded the item, making sure that the buttoned up front and collar were exactly in the middle once he had finished. This was slid into the bag on top of the trousers, and the underwear was placed on top again.
> 
> The sealing machine was underneath his bed and he knelt down to retrieve it. It had cost a fair bit but did a great job. He pressed all the air out of the bag and then slid the top part through the narrow opening on the front of the machine and pulled down on the handle. The plastic sealed itself and then he released his hold on it, took the package back out and cut off the excess unsealed piece. The machine disappeared back under the bed and Dominic stood up and brushed down his pants. The pictures he had taken were sitting on the nightstand, and he moved over to them next. There were five of them, and he spread them out so he could see them all at once.
> 
> She really had been beautiful, tall, blonde, obviously, and fun to be with. The meal they'd had together was laid out on the table in one picture, the bright colours of the Moroccan restaurant vivid behind her, as she sat, smiling up at the camera. The next picture was of her standing outside on the sidewalk after the meal. There had been a huge waiter in national costume, most likely about ten feet tall by the entrance way and he had to admit it did make a great photo opportunity. Probably got lots of people to actually go in and eat too. The three other pictures were taken at her apartment and that had worried him. He didn't usually go back to his dates' homes, preferring to bring them where he was more in charge. But she had insisted, worried that she needed to get home and let her cat out. In the end it hadn't made any difference, everything had gone as planned, and the outcome had still been the same but he didn't like it when his plans were changed. She was still dead though, they would all die, one by one, all of them would fall under his hand.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Amanda was crouched down next to a body, but she turned and smiled as she heard Steve's voice talking with one of the officers at the scene. Rae moved as close to her friend as she dared and then crouched down herself. Amanda tended not to work weekends, but Rae wasn't surprised to see her here, no one liked murder, but when there was a serial killer on the loose then all those involved at the start wanted to carry it on to the end.
> 
> "The victim is face down, Rae, and I don't want to move her yet, the photos haven't been taken and I need to make my notes as detailed as I can. There has to be a clue in the way he is leaving these women, and this time I intend to make sure I find it. There is some damage here from small animals, but not enough that it'll get in the way of the investigation. Sometimes it even helps."
> 
> Rae smiled a small smile. Amanda was thoroughness personified. She knew that her working routine would vary very little this time from the previous two cases, if there had been a clue she would have already found it, but Rae understood her need to improve, she felt it too.
> 
> "What about the person who found the body, do you know if they are still here?" Rae looked around; she couldn't see anyone who looked as if they would rather be fire walking than waiting to talk to a cop, so she guessed they had gone home.
> 
> "Mr Dingus went home, he only lives a couple of minutes away, and one of the other officers went with him."
> 
> "Mr Dingus? Poor guy, I'll bet his wife just loved becoming Mrs Dingus!" Rae shook her head; she didn't need to think of trivialities right now. "I'll go get the details; I would feel happier if we could talk with him tonight. Do you have any idea which cops actually spoke to him at the scene?"
> 
> Amanda stopped what she was doing for a second. She had continued with her work while Rae had been talking, not because she wasn't listening, but because she was. She could keep her concentration total when the words around her related to the job she was doing, and was used to sometimes doing three or four things at once at a crime scene. "Yeah, Randall, he's over there, talking with Steve."
> 
> "Thanks." Rae recognised the young man from the station and walked over to him. She thought he looked a little green around the edges, and she also thought that Steve was less than impressed with him.
> 
> "If you aren't up to the job, Randall, then go back to the station, pack your bag and leave, this is an ongoing investigation, we need everyone to be working one hundred and ten percent, one hundred percent of the time. Is that clear?"
> 
> "Yes, Sir." The hapless cop looked down at his feet, and Rae decided to intervene.
> 
> "Hey, Steve, is there a problem here?"
> 
> "No, not at all, if you can tell me where the ribbon is, where the crime scene labels are that should be tied to trees, where everything that is supposed to be here is, including some sand to cover up his breakfast." Steve moved a little uncomfortably then, and Rae looked down to see that her partner would probably need some new sneakers very soon.
> 
> "Well, Randall, you must have done something other than barf since you got here, why don't you tell us what notes you've taken?" Rae knew that part of Steve's problem was the helplessness he was feeling, and the fact that Randall hadn't performed adequately was a great outlet for his anger, just as he had been for hers earlier in the day, but their friendship could take it, she wasn't sure this young man could.
> 
> "Ma'am?" The young man looked, if anything, even more uncomfortable than he had just seconds before.
> 
> "What have you written down?" Rae tried to be patient, but her voice was a little tense and she knew that Randall picked up on it.
> 
> "I … I sent Mr Dingus home with my partner, Eve, his son too, and then … well, then I went and looked at the body …"
> 
> "Did you touch it?" Steve cut into the conversation, his words cold and unfriendly.
> 
> "No, Sir. I may be a little wet behind the ears, and green in the face, but I know how to do my job … well most of it anyway." The last few words were spoken very quietly and Rae felt for him.
> 
> "Hey, Randall, it's ok. Is this your first murder scene?"
> 
> "Yes, Ma'am, and I didn't touch anything, I promise, I was no closer than you were just now when you were talking to the ME. I just … there was so much blood, and her feet, and, oh, God." His face took on a very pale look and suddenly Randall turned and both Rae and Steve looked at each other and waited for him to finish.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Jo had seen the affect the call from the station had had on her husband. Murder was a way of life for him, but she knew that each time he got a new case or, even worse, a new victim in an old one; it cut a little deeper into him.
> 
> Once he had gone she had spent some time playing with Eliana and Anneya, marvelling at their acceptance of the changes which peppered their lives. Ever since they had been born they had been on the move in one way or another. Rae had been at home for a lot of the time, but she had been injured or even worse, on bail, and there had been many nights when the girls had slept with Sally, or with Steve and her. They were both open, friendly children and she wondered whether this had to do with their upbringing, or whether they would have been that way whatever. Jo shook her head, she had no idea where those thoughts came from but she didn't worry too much about them. It was now just after five in the afternoon, and across the room from her Daniel had Eliana snuggled up to him one side and Anneya the other as they watched Beauty and the Beast. Jo had a feeling that at least one of the girls would be asleep long before the last rose petal fell; Anneya had her thumb in her mouth already and was winding her fingers through her blonde hair.
> 
> Michael came quietly into the room and Jo stood up, she needed to talk with him, and decided that the kitchen would be better for that. Indicating with her hand that she wanted to leave the room Jo moved into the hallway and then on into the part of her house which was Michael's domain.
> 
> "You wished to speak with me privately, Madam?"
> 
> "No, not really privately, but I just didn't want to stop Anneya fallin' asleep if she wanted too. Michael, I need you to go down to Texas for me."
> 
> "Certainly, Madam, when would you like me to leave?" If Michael was surprised his training effectively masked it.
> 
> "Well, you can stay an' have your dinner first, seein' as how you cooked it an' all!" Jo smiled as she spoke. "Tomorrow would be just fine. Don't you want to know why I need you to go?"
> 
> "I imagine, Madam, that it has something to do with the fact that you had to return home earlier than you had planned. Maybe you wish me to arrange for the transportation of the contents of Madam's attic rooms."
> 
> Jo wanted to lean over and kiss Michael on the cheek, but knew he would be scandalised. "I'll just leave the plannin' to you then, shall I? Seein' as you seem to have it all in hand already!" Jo smiled warmly at him and laid her fingers on his arm. "I want to have it back here, it's mine, an' I don't want Miss Prissy Knickers gettin' her grubby hands on any of it."
> 
> "There are quite a large number of boxes from what I understand. Would you like me to arrange for them to be transported by air or road, Madam?"
> 
> "Oh, road, we don't need to hire a plane, it's only a day's journey by car, so a truck should be able to do it in two, maybe two and a half." Jo paused for a moment, as she tried to remember something. "Use Crayfields, they're the people who moved my stuff up here after Grandmamma died, they're good, an' reliable."
> 
> "Very good, Madam, I will call first thing in the morning to arrange it, and leave for the airport straight after that."
> 
> "That's great, oh, an' Michael, have the full service on the plane, I know you just love it, an' I just love bein' able to share it with you." Jo smiled again, Michael was very respectful of his position, and she found it almost impossible to give him any extra perks. However, one time when they had been travelling together on the private jet she had seen how he enjoyed being waited on by the staff, and so since then she had tried to make sure that he took full advantage of it whenever he travelled for her.
> 
> The aircraft was a full sized one, there was room to actually live aboard it for a considerable amount of time should the need arise. It wasn't Jo's first choice, but when she had been drawing up the plans for it the company representative had mentioned that she had more facilities than Airforce One, and so she had cut back, not wanting to appear to be flaunting her wealth.
> 
> "Is there anything else you will be requiring now, Madam, only the dinner is ready to be served?"
> 
> "No, thank you, I'll let you know if I think of anythin' else, an' thank you, Michael, there is only you an' Steve who I would trust enough to do this for me."
> 
> "Then I am gratified that I am able to assist you, Madam."
> 
> Jo chuckled to herself and went back towards the television room, just once she would like him to surprise her and say 'I'm happy to help,' but she guessed that wasn't going to happen.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> It was after five-thirty before Steve and Rae moved over to where the body was, knowing that Amanda and the photographer had finished with it in its current position and were preparing to turn her over. They had worked methodically in and around the area until that time, but both of them knew that there was little more they could do until a positive ID could be made, and that was impossible with the woman face down.
> 
> Rae had drawn a sketch of how the body laid, its position in relation to the land around it, and the type of vegetation it was in, she had also, from a distance tried to make out any wounds on the back of the victim. The two slashes on the soles of the feet had been only too obvious, as was the dark red of the rose in her hand against the green of the foliage and the fact that the victim's hair had been cut off. Rae thought she saw at least four stab wounds other than those to the feet and Steve had agreed with her.
> 
> It had been apparent to both of them that there were wounds to the neck, probably a cut throat, as had been the case with the two previous victims. The blood in that area was far greater than anywhere else, and that was where Rae's eyes were focused as two EMT's and Amanda carefully turned the body over. She heard both Steve and Amanda let out gasps, and heard the pathologist say, "Oh, no."
> 
> Rae looked up into the lifeless face of the woman now laying in an unzipped body bag on the gurney which had been waiting for it. That face was still young, still beautiful and still very dead. For a moment Rae closed her eyes, and then turned to Steve, who had known her longer and much better than she.
> 
> "Steve, I'm so sorry."
> 
> "Yeah, I know." Steve leant over, and with one of his glove covered hands he gently touched the shoulder of the young woman called Nadine, who had worked so well for him at Barbeque Bobs.


	15. Methods and Madness

> **Chapter Fifteen Methods and Madness**
> 
> The air around Steve seemed to freeze as he looked down at the face of his waitress. His hand still rested on her shoulder, but his eyes were fixed on what had happened to her hair. She had worn it back at work, it used to bounce around in its pony tail and somehow he had felt that it always showed her personality, now that hair was gone, and so was she.
> 
> "Take her away, Amanda … but … be gentle with her." Steve turned, suddenly embarrassed by his show of emotion.
> 
> "I always am, Steve, but this time I'll be even more so." Amanda didn't really know what to say, she had known Nadine by sight, and had spoken to her a few times at Bob's, but that was all. She knew that Steve would be alright, that his professionalism would return momentarily, and so she smiled at him and then moved over to where Rae was standing, a look of pain in her eyes. "Rae, when you get her personal details can you send them over to me?"
> 
> "What? Oh, yeah, sure, no problem." Rae was silent for a moment and then she seemed to shake herself back to the present. "Do you have any idea how long she's been dead?" For an instant Rae remembered how kind the girl had been, how she had tried to hide from her the fact that her husband was sitting in the barbeque restaurant holding hands with another woman. "I saw her Friday evening if that helps."
> 
> "I would guess that she was killed sometime last night. There are some flies and bugs around, and she has the beginnings of rigor, but you know as well as I do that I can't be specific about it." There had been a little small animal activity, and Amanda was even more relieved than usual that Nadine's face hadn't been touched.
> 
> "That'll do me for now, thanks." Rae paused for a moment and then carried on talking. "Amanda, is Ron in town right now?" The FBI agent was engaged to Amanda, and had transferred to the Los Angeles field office to be closer to her. His job took him all over California though, so he was still on the road a lot.
> 
> "He is, I'm delighted to say, and for the whole week too. Why?"
> 
> "We need a profile on this guy; there is no way that all these quirks don't point in one direction or another. He helped us with Werner, and we need him again."
> 
> "Ok, I'll tell him you're gonna call, but I expect you'll get to him before I do." Amanda watched as the gurney was carefully manoeuvred through the small gate at the end of the pathway. "I need to go; I should have the initial report by lunchtime tomorrow, maybe a little later. I'll call the station."
> 
> "Thanks, and I'll leave a message on Ron's voice mail." Rae watched her friend leave the grassy bank she was standing on and then she walked across and placed a hand carefully on Steve's arm. She didn't want to embarrass him but she had to know he was ok. "Steve, we need to go speak with Mr Dingus, but I can go on my own if you would prefer."
> 
> "No, no, I'll come, but you talk ok?"
> 
> "Sure, that's not a problem. Steve, we will get this guy, it may take a while, but we will. I'm sorry I was so negative earlier. Nadine knew you, and she liked and trusted you, we won't let her down."
> 
> Steve smiled at her, it was only a small smile, and it took a lot of effort, but he appreciated her words.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The photos were now in the album, the clothes neatly packed away and Dominic lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. He could see Nadine laughing with him as they drank red wine and lounged together in her apartment, could see her beautiful body as she had waited for him in her bedroom. The cat had flown at him when they arrived, horrid, furry little rat of a creature, but she had shut it in the bathroom and that had been the first problem solved.
> 
> He still didn't feel entirely happy about the whole thing; it hadn't all gone as it should. He had tried, had done everything in the same order, just as he always did, but somehow this time it was different, it hadn't felt right. He wouldn't be tricked again, the next time he would make sure of that.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had surreptitiously put a call through to Officer Eve Hoban to find out where she and Steve were going as Randall had omitted to make a note of the address before his partner left. Rae thought that now wasn't the time to mention that to Steve. When they had walked back to Steve's car he had made his way silently to the passenger side and so Rae had climbed into the driver's seat and waited for him. For a moment he sat silently but then he turned to look at her.
> 
> "You're not gonna move to another partner are you?" The words were almost a plea, and Rae felt the presence of hot tears behind her eyes.
> 
> "No, I don't think anyone else would have me!" Rae didn't smile; she had a feeling that sometimes what she had just said was true.
> 
> "Rae, I know now isn't the time, but you and Jesse, if you need to talk …"
> 
> "Steve, he's your best friend, let him come to you knowing that I haven't. That you're there just for Jesse, I get the feeling a friend is gonna come in real handy for him round about now."
> 
> Again there was silence for a minute or two and then Steve looked over to his partner. "You know we can sit here as long as you want, but I think we're expected at the Dinguses."
> 
> "Steve," Rae spoke his name and then waited.
> 
> "Yeah?"
> 
> "You have the keys."
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Erica Dingus was a large friendly looking woman in her early fifties. She had on a plain light blue dress which was covered by a very flowery apron. She had waved her husband and son off for an afternoon of fishing just after a late lunch and relished the fact that now the house was empty she could get some plans organised for the social event of her year.
> 
> When the doorbell chimed just over an hour and a half after the boys left she'd answered it while her mind was full of the best place to hire a band who would sound much better than the one that Lorraine Morley had booked for her, none-too- successful, barn dance the previous month. The fact that her husband of twenty-six years and her twenty-three year old son were standing there with a female police officer had shocked her into total silence until she had made tea, put cookies on a doilied plate and taken them all into the living room.
> 
> Now though, it was just the three of them again, and silence was not a problem any longer.
> 
> "You brought a police officer to the front door of my house. What will the neighbours think? Mavis was doing her yard work, she would have seen the car, seen you get out of it, why didn't you park in the next street and come through the gate in the back?"
> 
> Hank let her get the ranting out of her system; he didn't think that now was the right moment to tell her that a little later in the day two detectives would be coming up the front path to speak with both himself and Dillon.
> 
> Erica had gone to take a nap after that, and father and son had sat and worked their way through the plate of cookies, not really knowing what else to do. They had then spent the late afternoon together, saying very little, but each knowing that the other was reliving the awful moments when they had realised that there was indeed a dead and mutilated body right there in front of them.
> 
> The doorbell cut through the silence of the house causing both men to jump. Hank rose slowly to his feet and made his way out into the hallway. The house was, as usual, spotlessly clean, but he knew that when Erica came down she would apologise for the state of it. He opened the door and saw a small, pretty woman with shoulder length brown hair, and a taller, dark haired man. "Yes, can I help you?"
> 
> "Mr Dingus?" It was the woman who spoke. "I'm Detective Reagan Yeager, and this is my partner Lieutenant Steve Sloan, LAPD, we'd like to ask you and your son a few questions." She had her ID in her hand and he scrutinised it before answering her.
> 
> "Sure, come on in." Hank stood back a little and waited while the two law enforcers entered his home.
> 
> Steve had tried to clean off his shoes after he got out of the car, using the bottle of water and the towel that was in the trunk, but now although a little cleaner they were wet and smelly and as he looked around the spotless hallway he knew he had to leave them outside. "I'll just leave my sneakers on the porch." He ducked back out before anyone could answer and then padded into the house in his socks.
> 
> "Hank, Honey, did you get the door?" Erica's voice floated down from the second storey and he could hear her moving about.
> 
> "Yeah, don't worry, I got it." Hank indicated which room he was using and followed the two strangers into it. His son stood as they entered and Hank could see that the male cop was about the same height as him. "This is my boy, Dillon. Can I get either of you a drink, coffee, maybe?"
> 
> "I'm fine, thank you, Steve?" Rae looked at her partner, she didn't know whether he would like a drink or not. She had to admit he looked as if he could do with one.
> 
> "A coffee would be good, thank you." He retreated back into silence and Rae knew that unless she indicated to him he would sit quietly while she asked the questions. She also knew though that he would be taking mental notes of everything that was going on, the body language of the people they were with, the way they listened, and then answered questions, the way they interacted between themselves.
> 
> Hank went through a set of double glass doors at the end of the room, and returned almost immediately with a jug of black coffee, two cups, some cream and sugar all on a round tray. "There you go. I brought an extra cup just in case."
> 
> "Mom would be proud!" Dillon smiled as he spoke and Hank shook his head.
> 
> "Sir, I know that you spoke with Officer Hoban, both at the scene and here, so what I really need is to go through what happened again, take all the details down, but I'll try to make it as painless a procedure as possible." Rae had taken her notebook out of her jacket and she had written the date at the top of a clean page. She had the names of both men also noted down and was ready to begin. As she opened her mouth to ask her first question a woman entered. Steve got immediately to his feet, and was amused to see that both Mr Dingus and his son looked less than happy
> 
> "Hank, did you offer our guests some drinks, oh, I see you did." The woman made herself comfortable in one of the easy chairs and smiled. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to welcome you and I hope you will accept my apologies for the state of my house."
> 
> "That's not a problem, Ma'am. I'm Detective Yeager, this is Lieutenant Sloan, we, ah, we need to speak with your husband and your son."
> 
> "That's fine, you go right ahead." Mrs Dingus seemed to make herself even more cosy in her chair.
> 
> "Erica, I think that the detective means that you should leave." Hank looked distinctly uncomfortable.
> 
> "Do you; is that what you mean, dear? This is my house after all." The woman bridled a little at her husband's words.
> 
> "Ma'am, I realise that, but we really do need to speak with them privately." It was Steve who spoke, he had a feeling that this woman, who seemed nice and very protective, not only of her family but also her home, was unsure of what to do, rather than out to actually cause problems.
> 
> "Oh, of course, of course, I am so sorry, I've never been in this position before, and I so want to do everything right, please accept my apologies, I am so very sorry." Erica stood up and looked around her as if not sure how to actually get out of the room. Hank, his heart suddenly full of love for his wife, moved over and put an arm around her.
> 
> "Honey, why don't you go and put a call through to your sister, you haven't spoken to her in a while. Just don't mention this, and you can talk all you want." Hank's words seemed to break through her confusion and she nodded her head and walked out into the kitchen.
> 
> Rae waited until the room was comfortably quiet again and then she cleared her throat. "Mr Dingus, Sir, can you tell us what happened this afternoon?"
> 
> "Um, yeah, what did you want to know?" Now that they were actually ready to talk Hank found that he had no idea what to say.
> 
> Rae smiled; she knew that this would be hard for them, it was hard for her, and she dealt with death and destruction on a daily basis. "What I need to know is just what happened, why you were on that walkway, what you saw, who you saw, both of you."
> 
> The conversation seemed to flow a little better after that and both Dillon and Hank Dingus related everything in the order in which it had occurred. They were both good witnesses, and by the time Rae had finished her questions she had almost all the information she needed.
> 
> "Can you tell me where you both were, from about lunchtime Saturday until now?"
> 
> "Yeah, I was working yesterday. I'm a salesman at a car place in town; I finished at five and came straight home. I had a date last night; I left here at seven and got in just after eleven, why?" Dillon spoke easily, and it was obvious that he had nothing to hide.
> 
> "Mr Dingus?" Rae looked over at the elder man.
> 
> "I was home yesterday, I don't work on the weekends, Erica was planning her social and I did the accounts, correspondence, that sort of thing. Apart from doing a little work in the garage I didn't leave the house."
> 
> "And today? Before you found the body?" Rae didn't like this part of her job, not when she was pretty sure that the people she was asking were innocent.
> 
> "Not a lot. We all got up and went to church, and then once we were home I helped dad in the yard for a bit, but … um …" Dillon stopped talking, suddenly uncertain of what to say next and looked at his father.
> 
> "Just tell them, Son, it's nothing major." Hank smiled, he appreciated his son's loyalty.
> 
> "Dillon? Do you have a problem telling me where you were today?" Rae was unsure of why things had suddenly ground to a halt.
> 
> "No, no, Ma'am, it's just that, well, we were working in the yard, and Mom, she's organising a church social right now, and, well, I guess we were just a little noisy, she came and shooed us off. Told us to grab our things and go fishing, that she couldn't hear herself think, and her dance would never be better than Lorraine's if we didn't go get out of her hair … oh, God …" For a moment Dillon could only see the body of the woman, her hair hacked from her head.
> 
> "We grabbed our stuff, put a meal into a picnic carrier and walked off towards the lake. The fishing is good all year, and we knew we could sit there for a few hours and let my wife get to grips with her panic." Hank finished off the tale for his son, as he saw the greyness of shock descend on him.
> 
> "Ok, well I think that just about covers it for now. If you could write down the name and address of your date last night, and her phone number, Dillon, that would be great, and Mr Dingus could you please let us have the name of your pastor and the address of your church?" Rae handed two sheets of paper to the men in front of her and waited patiently while they did as she had asked. "Thank you. I doubt if we will need to trouble you further, but if we do, well, we'll be in touch."
> 
> Both Rae and Steve stood then and shook hands with the two men. They could see that the reality of what they had seen was hitting home now, and Rae smiled at them. "If you don't mind me suggesting it, it might be a good idea for you to both arrange to go see someone, a counsellor maybe, or a member of your church. What you saw was awful, and you really need to talk it through."
> 
> "She was dead, wasn't she?" It was Dillon that spoke. "I … I knew not to touch her, but there was so much blood. She was already dead when we found her, we … we couldn't have saved her?" Tears clouded his vision, but he ignored them.
> 
> "No, there was nothing you could have done, she was definitely dead." Rae was pleased to see Hank put his arm around his son and hug him, although neither man realised it yet, they had been lucky in the fact that they had found the body together. Not only did it help corroborate the facts but it meant that they could offer support to each other.
> 
> The four people moved towards the hallway, and Erica Dingus joined them, she smiled apologetically and looked with concern at her family. "Did you do ok, was what you said alright?"
> 
> "Ma'am, we have all the information we need, I doubt that we will have to trouble you again." Steve cut in before either of the other men could speak. He was tired, he felt dirty and he wanted to go home; right now he had had enough of the day, and even a few extra pieces of conversation would be too much.
> 
> Rae sensed his tiredness and she opened the front door herself. "Thank you for your hospitality, we'll see ourselves out now." Quickly, because it had begun to rain whilst they had been inside, she made her way down to the sidewalk where she climbed in the driver's side of the car and waited for Steve, who had stopped to slip into his shoes after shaking hands with the two witnesses, and then he too turned and joined her.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> His dreams had been of dark places, there was no light, but he knew that people were there, knew that they were watching him, waiting for him to make a sound, to call out for help, but he wouldn't, couldn't, do that, they would hear it, be more angry, and he would be scared, no that was wrong, he would be terrified, he was already scared.
> 
> The air was cold, he was cold, he tried to wrap his arms around himself, to maybe get a little warmer, but there was something stopping him. Something, no not something, but someone.
> 
> He was being moved backwards, he could feel pressure on him, on his throat, his wrists, he tried to fight but he couldn't, why couldn't he fight? Suddenly he found his voice, found the strength he had been lacking. "No!"
> 
> "Jesse, Jess, it's ok." Mark had heard the sounds of struggling, as if someone was trying to fight to get away from something. He had just entered the room when Jesse had cried out and sat up in bed, the perspiration pouring off him, his eyes open but unseeing, and his hair plastered to his head. Now he crossed to his friend's side and placed a hand on his arm.
> 
> There was someone there, with him, so close that they could touch him could call him by name, and the terror was all encompassing. He tried to move away, to get as far from the hands and the voice as possible, but the chains were still there, on his arms, his neck; they held him ready for whatever punishment was coming his way. "No, please, please don't, not my hands, I'm a doctor, please."
> 
> "Jesse, it's me, it's Mark." He heard a sound and turned his head to see Alex standing in the doorway, his eyes heavy with sleep.
> 
> "Mark, what's going on? Is there anything I can do?"
> 
> "No, no, go back to bed. I think that the fewer people he thinks know about this the better." Mark still had his hand on Jesse and he could feel him shake under his touch.
> 
> Alex just nodded his head and with an extremely heavy heart he turned and went back to his part of the house.
> 
> There were more voices; they were talking together, one asking the other if he could do things too. He couldn't fight two of them, he had to get away. The feeling of the chains disappeared, the bars were gone, and he was in a room, with a bed and a window, if he could just get to the window. "Let me go, I won't tell, just please, please, let me go." The tears and emotion sounded in his voice, and then he felt the pressure increase on his arms. "No, I promise, but don't hurt me, they left me, I won't tell, don't hurt me."
> 
> "Jesse, listen to me." Mark's voice took on the tone he used when trying to get recalcitrant patients to take their medicine. "It's Mark, you are in no danger, you're at the beach house, do you hear me? You're at the beach."
> 
> "Mark?" The voice was familiar, Jesse could feel the relief flooding through him, maybe he had won, had escaped from the dangers and Mark had found him and brought him home. "Mark, help me." Jesse didn't know why he asked, but he knew that if anyone could, it would be Mark Sloan.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The sun came up over a slightly damp and chilly Los Angeles, the rain of the previous evening being replaced by a brighter Monday morning. Steve stood on his balcony and watched the night being replaced by the colours of the day, which were glorious in places as the beautiful golds and oranges of the occasional tree covered with autumn leaves were caught by the sun's rays. His heart was still heavy, and he felt an enormous weight of responsibility and failure which he couldn't shake off. Sleep had been elusive, as he had known it would be, his mind going over different times that he had worked with Nadine, had laughed with her, or pulled faces over difficult customers. He thought of the Radcliff's who would be at Bob's tonight, as they always were on a Monday, Nadine had enjoyed a good working relationship with them, chatting and laughing as she took their orders, making small talk which had become slightly more as they had returned again and again. The repercussions of any death, whether natural or violent were many, and this time he was going to be privy to most of them.
> 
> "Steve, Honey, are you all right?" Jo was sitting up in bed, her hair falling in heavy curls over her shoulders, it was mussed up from sleep, and as Steve turned to her he was left breathless by her beauty. "What, what's wrong?" She saw him stop for a moment and just stare and she was concerned for him.
> 
> "Plenty of things, but right now, nothing, I was just thinking how lovely you are."
> 
> "Oh." Jo didn't know what else to say, she was flattered and embarrassed and just thrilled all at the same time. "You're not so bad yourself." She guessed it was a bit lame, but at least it got a smile. "You were tossin' an' turnin' all night, somethin's on your mind, an' you know I want to help if I can." Steve had arrived home a little after ten the previous evening, tired and not wanting to make conversation. He had called her from the precinct to say that he and Rae would be working on the initial findings in their investigation but would be home as soon as the paperwork was underway. Because of the lateness of the hour Eliana and Anneya had been put to bed in the nursery by Michael and Jo and then Rae and Steve had simply carried the two sleeping children back to Oak Place and laid them carefully in their own room.
> 
> "I'm sorry, did I keep you awake?" Steve came back into the room but stood a little distance from his wife.
> 
> "For a while, I was just worried about you, why don't you come back over here, an' maybe I can at least listen to what you have to say." Jo patted the bed with her hand as she spoke, and was relieved when Steve moved over and climbed back underneath the covers.
> 
> "I'm sorry I wasn't good company last night, and I feel bad that I disturbed you." Steve had stretched his arm along the back of the bed and Jo snuggled up to him, the feeling of his skin against her cheek one of her favourite sensations.
> 
> "It doesn't happen very often, an' I can always go for a little nap when you are workin'. Steve, what's wrong?" Jo reached up with her hand and gently traced a finger down his cheek, feeling the roughness of his early morning stubble beneath it.
> 
> "You know we got called to another killing last night, the same MO as two others we have, well the victim, I knew her, you knew her." For a moment he stopped talking.
> 
> "Who?" Jo's voice was soft, almost a whisper, and she found that she was holding her breath until she knew what her husband had to say.
> 
> "Nadine Browton …" Steve waited, he knew that Jo would know who she was.
> 
> "Oh, Steve, she was only nineteen, not even twenty until after Christmas, an' she was the only girl in a family of six children." Jo turned her head towards Steve's chest as tears sprang up in her eyes. She tried not to cry, knowing that Steve felt badly as it was, and she didn't want to make it worse.
> 
> Steve looked down at the slightly mussed up hair of his wife as she rested against him and he marvelled at her knowledge. He had liked Nadine, had taken her on himself, but he had known none of what Jo had just said, and his heart swelled with pride as he realised that Jo wouldn't have seen herself as any different to those who worked at Bob's, but would have gone out of her way to be as friendly and interested in them as she was anyone else she came into contact with. He held her a little tighter, enjoying the feelings that she had given him.
> 
> Jo felt Steve move and she took a deep breath, she was upset, but she knew that he was hurting too, and she wanted to help all she could. "He will make a mistake; will do somethin' that'll put you on his trail."
> 
> "He shouldn't have to make a mistake; we should have him in our sights already. Three women are dead, four, if you count the mother who killed herself after her child died and we still don't know who he is. Rae's right, we aren't getting anywhere!" Steve could feel all the insecurities that an unsolved case always brought out in him rising to the surface; the anger was just a mechanism to let them free.
> 
> "So go an' do what you do best, work it out, sort through what you have an' find this guy. Did you go talk to your dad about it yet? Or Jesse? Honey you need to take a step back for a minute, this case is no different to the other serial killers you have had in the past. But right now you are just too close to see that."
> 
> Steve nuzzled his face down into her hair and kissed Jo gently on the top of her head. "Yeah, I guess you're right, and I will, but right now, maybe just another five or ten minutes in bed wouldn't hurt."
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The lone jogger on the beach had caught Jesse's eye as he sat drinking his second cup of coffee of the day. It was only eight o'clock and he had a little more time before he needed to leave for the hospital. It was a forty minute journey, supposedly, but he was hoping that as he didn't have to start until ten that he would miss most of the early morning traffic.
> 
> He had heard Mark leave at half five, and had been surprised to receive a phone call from him just after seven. Jesse had assured him that he was fine, and that he would see him in the ER later. Alex had also checked on him, and although slightly embarrassed that his bad dream had caused both his friends to wake up, Jesse had been gratified to know how much they cared.
> 
> The scenes from his nightmare were fresh in his mind, and they scared him still. Sometimes he couldn't remember what he had dreamt, just knowing that they were bad was enough, but this time he could see the darkness, feel the chill that had wrapped around his body, and suddenly, needing to do something, even if it was just sit in traffic Jesse stood up and headed for the shower. He needed to keep moving, keep thinking of other things; otherwise he knew that his demons would overwhelm him.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> "Eliana for goodness sake leave your hair alone." Rae carefully smoothed down her daughter's plaid skirt and pulled up her white socks. The braids that she had done that morning with the little girl sitting on the stool in front of her mommy's dressing table mirror were still in place, but Eliana kept pulling at the ends of them, twisting them round her fingers and trying to suck them.
> 
> "Hurts, Mommy." She looked up, hoping that her mother would relent and let her have her hair loose like normal.
> 
> "I know, sweetie, but the school prefers you to have it up, and this way it will be out of your way when you do all that wonderful painting and playing you get to do here." For a moment Rae looked at Eliana and felt her heart constrict. The little girl had been so excited about going to pre-school that she'd had an asthma attack before she could even take her medicine that morning. Now though she was fine again, it was just Rae who was still getting over it.
> 
> Rae carefully put Anneya down on the ground next to her sister; there wasn't that much difference in their heights, certainly not two years worth. Her blonde hair was over her shoulders now, and Rae could see Eliana looking at it with envy. "Neya stay, have hair up and stay." Her lower lip quivered as the little girl realised that not only was her Mommy going to disappear, but her sister too.
> 
> "Honey, I know that she would just love to stay with you, but she can't, she isn't old enough yet, but as soon as she is, well then you can come together, ok?" Rae decided that it would be sensible to go and ring the bell now, and so she took hold of Eliana's hand with her left, and Anneya's with her right, and then walked up to the front of the building.
> 
> There was a large sign in red lettering which said 'Friends Pre-School' and an old fashioned bell was hanging next to it. Rae picked Eliana up and let her pull on the string and they heard the ringing inside the hallway.
> 
> Two minutes later the doors opened and a friendly looking young woman in her early twenties smiled at them. "Good morning, and you are Eliana aren't you? We've been waiting for you to start today."
> 
> The little girl looked up at the woman in front of her, and then back to her mommy, all of a sudden she wasn't at all sure about this, and it showed.
> 
> "Mrs Travis, would you like to come on in, and we can fill in the necessary paperwork and show Eliana where she will be hanging her coat and leaving her shoes."
> 
> "Sure, thank you, Miss … I'm sorry, I don't know your name."
> 
> "My name is Miss Helena, and I work in the office, but Eliana will see me around and about, and sometimes I even get to come and read you a story!" Helena made it sound as if it was a big treat, and Rae could tell that she was already winning her shy daughter over.
> 
> Once Rae had paid the bill for the first month, double checked all the information that the school had, mentioned the asthma attack that morning and explained that Eliana's daddy wasn't at home with them at the moment and should be put at the bottom of the contact list, the three of them and Miss Helena walked on down the hallway to where they could see other childrens' outdoor clothes. On one of the lower rails was a hook with a picture of a baby deer next to it. The label underneath said, in printed words Eliana Travis. Eliana, who had been practising her name both at home and with Sally smiled and pointed at it. "That's me."
> 
> "It is, well done." Helena smiled too and indicated that Eliana should sit down on the bench next to her peg. "You need to take your outdoor shoes off and put on your slippers; you also need to hang your coat on the hook. This has to be done every day before you are allowed in the classroom, ok?"
> 
> Eliana just nodded, she was concentrating on undoing the Velcro fastening on her new shiny red shoes. They came just over her ankle and had velvet flowers across the bar at the front and a padded collar around the top. Eliana had loved them the moment they entered the store, and nothing else would satisfy her. In the end Rae had given in, even though she had planned on getting plain black and boring.
> 
> Rae stood there, wanting to help her little girl, but knowing that she must learn right away to do it herself, and she had to smile as first the shoes were put neatly underneath the seat, then her soft shoes were carefully put on her feet. She then unbuttoned her cardigan and carefully hung it on her peg. The little white blouse that Rae had put with the skirt now showed off her daughter's brown skin and for a moment Rae thought her heart would burst with pride, but then as she listened to her daughter she knew that there was more, much more to come.
> 
> "I ready now. Yana see her teacher, peeze."
> 
> Miss Helena nodded her head and then opened the door to the classroom. There were five or six other children already in there, and they all stopped what they were doing and turned as they heard the sound of someone entering. A slim and smiling lady came over as soon as she saw Eliana and crouched down in front of her.
> 
> "And you must be Eliana Travis, my name is Miss Amy, I'm very pleased to meet you." The woman held her hand out to Eliana and Rae felt a lump form in her throat as her little girl took it and very solemnly proceeded to shake it. Once that had been done Miss Amy stood up and turned to Rae. "Hi, Mrs Travis, I'm very pleased to meet you too."
> 
> Eliana was tugging at Miss Amy's skirt, and so she turned and smiled down at her. "Honey, I'm talking to your Mommy right now, you will have to wait your turn." The words were said kindly, but immediately Eliana's eyes filled with tears. Once again Rae knew that she couldn't intervene and she refrained from even making eye contact with her daughter.
> 
> "I'm sorry that I couldn't get to come with Eliana when she had her visit day, but she has told me so much about it that I feel I have already been here. It won't usually be me who picks Eliana up, but you've met Sally, and Eliana knows only to go with her, her daddy or me."
> 
> "Yes, thank you, I had seen that on her records. Now, what was it you wanted to say?" Miss Amy looked down at Eliana, who, much to Rae's astonishment, had waited to speak.
> 
> "Neya, Neya stay too, look." Eliana pointed at her sister, who had moved away from her mother as soon as they entered the room. She was now sitting at a small table and was working quietly on one of the jigsaws.
> 
> "Oh, my, I am so sorry. I let go of her hand because I knew she would be safe." Rae had to chuckle to herself, her youngest daughter would be right at home here if she could leave her; maybe not for the entire morning, but definitely for a half hour or so. "I think it's a good job I brought some candy with me. Eliana, Honey, Mummy has to go now, and it will be Sally who picks you up today, but I'll come get you from there later, ok?"
> 
> Eliana just nodded her head and two large tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks as her chin began to quiver. Rae took her daughter into her arms and gave her a big hug and a kiss on her forehead. "You will have a wonderful time, and I want to hear all about it, I love you, Sweetie."
> 
> "I … I … uf you too, Mommy." Eliana carefully wiped away the tears with her fingers, and then, Rae, feeling very tearful herself went over and tried to extricate Anneya from the jigsaw table.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The sound of a coffee cup being slammed down on a desk caused Cheryl to look up from her work wondering where it had come from. She didn't have to look very far, Steve was now mopping up the drink that he had spilt and not looking pleased about it.
> 
> "Hey, would you like me to get you another cup?" She stood up and moved over to where her friend and ex-partner was standing and picked up the now half empty mug.
> 
> "Yeah, better make it black, hot and strong." Steve didn't even look up, but moved some more papers and then groaned as he saw the coffee make its way a little further across his desk.
> 
> "Rough night?" Cheryl looked at him sympathetically; she'd only been in about ten minutes herself, but she had been immediately aware of all the negative energy coming across the room at her.
> 
> "Yeah, the worst, we had another victim in the Red Rose Killings," Steve didn't know why he called it that, but somehow it seemed to fit, "and I know … knew her. She worked for me at Bob's."
> 
> "Oh, Steve, I am so sorry, I'll go get you that drink." Cheryl didn't really know what to say. She had read the details of the two other killings, most people in the room had, and she knew that Steve would be affected by the case, the violence of it, the pointlessness and the waste, now though she knew it would be even worse, because it had just become personal, and Steve Sloan could get overwhelmed by personal.
> 
> "So, you did decide to turn up today then!" His voice cut through the air, loud and hard and Cheryl swung round wondering who was getting the rough end of his tongue.
> 
> "I had to take my daughter for her first day of pre-school. I booked the time off last week, Lieutenant, but I'm prepared to work my lunch hour if you're feeling pissy about it." Rae had reeled back at the unfairness of his words, but she could tell that speaking to Steve kindly would just about finish him off, and so she gave as good as she got, fetched herself a cup of tea and then returned to her desk without another word.
> 
> Cheryl put the coffee down on Steve's now dry desktop and paused for a moment as she passed Rae. "Nice one, but I wouldn't push him today."
> 
> Rae looked up and smiled. "No, I won't, he'll cope though, he always does."
> 
> "Yeah, thank goodness." Cheryl continued walking before Rae could say another word and so she pulled the file from the previous evening from her tray and began to go quietly through it, stopping only to take a mouthful from her herbal tea, or surreptitiously check on Steve.
> 
> Steve had decided that although he really should be working on Nadine's murder, just for a while he needed to look at something else. The file on Elizabeth Masters' murder was on the top of his pending tray and he picked it up and began to flick through it idly. There was something missing, they weren't seeing the whole picture, and the trail was getting colder and colder, but not solving this one was unthinkable, and so, appreciating the quiet surrounding him Steve began to read through all the information once more.
> 
> The squad room was quiet and busy, Captain Newman was sitting in his office, his own paperwork piled up to the side of him, but for a few minutes he had been watching the men and women under his command. He had seen the coffee spill on Sloan's desk and the reaction from Cheryl. He had also heard the altercation between Rae and her partner, and smiled; both women knew just how to deal with him, although the Captain doubted that Steve realised that.
> 
> The murder rate in Los Angeles was dropping, although the burglary rate wasn't dipping quite so successfully, and it wasn't unusual for the phones to be quiet for a while these days, but it was out of the ordinary for the room to be so calm, and he was tempted to walk through, just to liven it up a bit, but he resisted and turned back to his own work. He had a seminar to deliver the following week, all week, in Chicago, and Steve would be moving into his office while he was away. If it was just a day or so then anything that had to be dealt with could be done at his officer's own desk, but an entire week, that was too long, he would never find anything ever again if it had seven days to migrate to Sloan's desk.
> 
> With a smile Jim Newman picked up the top folder and began to read through the personal details of some of the men and women he would be speaking with and his office too fell into a thoughtful silence.
> 
> The sound of a cell phone ringing had broken the concentration of a few of the cops just after twelve thirty. There had been one or two interruptions during the morning, but everyone in the room had realised that there was a hush over the precinct and all of them had taken the opportunity to get to grips with difficult or tedious pieces of work, and clear backlogs which had been waiting a long time to disappear.
> 
> Now though, as Rae spoke, the atmosphere changed again, and this time it was almost back to usual. Two other phones rang at the same time, three cops realised that it was lunch time and they were starving, and the afternoon mail was brought up.
> 
> None of this registered with either Steve or Rae though, but for different reasons entirely.
> 
> "Detective Yeager… Yes, that's me too … No, Ma'am, I use this phone at work, but I don't use the name Travis … Reagan, my daughter is Eliana and she started at your pre-school this morning … no, I appreciate the safeguards you have in place … she did? Oh, that's wonderful, thank you so much for letting me know … I'm sure I will, and I guess I'll get the stains out eventually … thank you again … no, I always answer it that way but it is me… Yes you too, good bye."
> 
> Rae folded her phone away with a smile; Miss Amy had called her just to let her know that her daughter had had a wonderful morning and gone off happily with her carer and her sister just a little while earlier. Eager to tell her partner her news she looked up a smile on her face but stopped speaking almost before she started.
> 
> "That was … what, what's wrong, Steve?"
> 
> "I think I just realised where we are going wrong with the Masters case."


	16. What's in a Name?

**Chapter Sixteen – What's in a Name?**

Rae looked at Steve, she hadn't even realised that he was working on Elizabeth Masters' case that morning. "Well, we sure could do with a break, what do you think we're doing wrong?"

"I guess that was Eliana's new school on the phone, huh?" Steve got out of his chair and walked across to where Rae was sitting.

"Yeah, it was, they just wanted to let me know that she'd had a good morning, as I couldn't pick her up today. But I don't see what that has to do with Elizabeth Masters being shot in a bank elevator."

"Was she concerned when you answered the phone 'Detective Yeager?"

Rae nodded her head. "She thought she had the wrong number, I forgot to tell her I don't use my married name at work … Steve, what have you found out?" She was still a little lost, and wasn't really sure what Steve wanted her to say.

"When you split from Tony did you revert to your maiden name?"

"No, STEVE!"

A slow smile crossed Steve's face and then he began to speak. "When John and Elizabeth Masters came back from England they weren't even speaking to each other, let alone living as man and wife. It's not surprising; they'd suffered a terrible tragedy, and they went their separate ways almost as soon as the plane touched down on American soil."

"Yep, I know that, and I guess I am being particularly dense here, but you've still lost me."

"What if Elizabeth decided that she would no longer be Elizabeth Masters, but Elizabeth Kagan?"

Rae thought for a moment, but then she shook her head. "No, that wouldn't work, everyone in Santa Barbara knew her as Elizabeth Masters, Miss Masters granted, but definitely a Masters one way or another."

"True, but what if she reverted to her maiden name for only certain things, like her financial records for instance? Maybe she wouldn't want anyone to know what had happened in England, I think I would want to keep something that tragic to myself, so for everyday life she was Masters, but for anything legal that had to do with her life before the Chief came back into it, she was Elizabeth Kagan again."

"But her mother was a Kagan, wouldn't people question why she was using the name Masters?" Rae wasn't convinced that Steve had a point.

"Rae, it was a long time ago, I don't know what happened, but I do know that the house was left to her as Elizabeth Masters, to the Chief as well, but he signed his half over. Whatever she said back then seemed to work, no-one that we have been able to find ever questioned the fact that she was Elizabeth Masters, or that the Chief was her brother, but I still think that we should look for anything we can find in the name of Elizabeth Kagan." Steve felt his temper rise again and he attempted to flatten it; he didn't like shouting at Rae and he'd done it once already.

"Hmmm, and there was no will either, was there? The only bank statements I found were in the name of Masters, but I guess that doesn't mean she didn't have some things which she kept completely separate. The nosy neighbour didn't move in until after Elizabeth's mother died, it could work." Rae thought again, she had to agree that there was certainly no harm in going back over what they had from this new angle. It would mean more legwork, or phone work, but that wasn't a problem. "And do we call the companies in the bank building or go back and canvass them all again?"

Steve thought for a moment before he spoke. "We canvass. It'll take forever to find all the numbers in the phone book, and not only that, if we strike pay dirt I want to see any paperwork immediately. I will be seriously glad to see the back of this case."

Rae smiled, not only because she knew her partner was trying to lighten the mood by using some of her British expressions, but also because she had no problem working with the Chief, although at the moment she felt so badly for him that whoever he was she would have wanted to solve the case so that the family could feel at least some type of closure and be able to move on a little.

"So, how do you want to work this? We have to go to the hospital to see Amanda, we need to get to Nadine's apartment and search that, arrange to see Ron, eat, sleep, breathe, you know the trivialities of life! We still need to check the alibis' of Hank and Dillon Dingus, although I'm not too bothered about that, they didn't have anything to do with Nadine's murder…" Rae stopped talking and Steve could tell that something had just crossed her mind.

"What?"

"Jesse, someone needs to tell Jesse and Alex about Nadine." Rae felt helpless for a moment, normally she would have told her husband about anything related to her work that affected him, but this time she had a feeling that anyone other than herself would be a better option.

"Is he working?" Steve looked at his partner and he could see her struggling with her emotions.

"Steve, I have no idea if he's working or not. He came to see me on Saturday, but he didn't stay. I know he wants to be working … or at least I think I do." Rae's voice trailed away, and she didn't know what else to say.

"So, I guess that we delegate the alibi check, go to the hospital, see Amanda, and then carry on from there." Steve went to his own desk and pulled his jacket off the back of his chair. He shrugged himself into it as he watched Rae do the same thing. She very rarely carried a purse when she was working; preferring to have a small notebook, flip phone and ID in her pocket and gun, badge and cuffs on her belt.

The ER was quietly busy when they arrived, and both Steve and Rae saw Alex working in one trauma suite, with Wil Collins in the next one along. They asked where Mark was, and were told that he had just finished a meeting and was having a coffee in the lounge. As they walked along the hallway they saw the door to the elevator at the other end of the corridor open and Amanda stepped out.

"Hey, Steve, Rae, I just left a message at the station for you. I guess you're here for Nadine's autopsy results." Amanda held up a manila folder as she spoke.

"Yeah, that's one reason we're here, but we need to see Dad, and Jess if he's in." Steve reached out his hand for the file and began flicking through it as he walked.

"Yes, Jesse's here, I was going to tell him about Nadine, I hope you don't mind." Amanda looked at Rae as she spoke.

"No, I don't mind at all. In fact, if you're all going to be together I think that maybe I'll speak with Alex and then head on over to the financial district and begin the interviews there. Steve, can I take your truck? You could grab a cab or beg a ride couldn't you?"

Steve paused and thought for a while, he hated anyone else driving his truck, but he could see the sense in them splitting up, even though he would prefer to have her input, and finally he nodded his head, "Well, I guess so, as long as you're careful with it."

"I am always careful, and I should have a new car soon, so please?"

"Yeah, sure, but why don't you come to the doctors' lounge and wait for Alex there?"

"No, I don't think that's such a good idea. Jesse will like to be with his friends, I'll … I'll see you later." She took the proffered keys, and then turned quickly away, not wanting to be tempted to stay.

Steve's eyes followed her for a moment, but then he too turned and followed Amanda into the lounge.

"Hi, Son, what brings you here?" Mark had just sat down at the table with his coffee, and Jesse was sitting across from him, a small pile of folders by his side, and an even larger pile on the floor to his right.

"An autopsy report, and I needed to speak with you and Jess." Steve looked at Jesse as he spoke; trying not to remember that the last time he had spoken to his best friend Jesse had tried to kill him with a kitchen knife.

"Sure, what about? Anything we can help you with?"

"Maybe. It certainly wouldn't hurt to share at any rate. But first a coffee, I am definitely in need of a coffee." Steve grabbed a cup and filled it, then he made another one and handed it to Amanda. Once that was done he made himself comfortable at the table and for a moment was silent as he looked at the front page of the autopsy report.

Rae had made her way back to the nurses' station in the ER and, after telling the young woman on duty that she needed to speak with Alex officially, she had picked up a copy of a reasonably recent magazine and flicked through it. Just a couple of minutes later she heard a voice in front of her and she looked up into the relaxed and happy face of her friend.

"Hi, Rae, you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah, I did," Rae felt her mood darken as she realised what she was going to have to tell this young man who, she knew, had liked Nadine and considered her a friend. "We need to go somewhere private."

Alex looked towards the doctor's lounge, but Rae shook her head. "It's occupied; can we go into the trauma suite and hope we don't get interrupted?"

"Ok, this way." Alex led the way and then sat down in the chair by the desk, making sure that Rae was seated too.

Rae took a deep breath and began to talk. "Alex, Nadine Browton from Bob's was murdered on Saturday night."

"Oh, God." Alex looked at Rae in disbelief, he knew that being friends with a cop meant that he heard things that most people didn't, but this was different, this was personal involvement and he wasn't sure how to react.

"Alex, we know that she had a date, but we don't know who with. Did she say anything to you?"

Alex thought for a moment, and he remembered a conversation he'd had with Nadine on the Friday evening.

_It had been late and the restaurant was almost empty. Alex poured himself a drink and was sitting at the counter having a five minute break before beginning the job of tidying up the tables. Nadine had come over and sat next to him._

_"Hey, Nadine, good night?"__ Alex had meant in tips, but Nadine had smiled and nodded her head._

_"Oh, yeah, I made a few bucks, and I got me a date for tomorrow night." _

_Alex had been surprised, "I didn't think you dated customers."_

_"I don't, but he was just so cool, and well, it can't do any harm. You remember him, the guy who came in for a drink of water and ended up staying for a meal."_

"Do you think it was the guy she served on Friday?" Alex felt tears behind his eyes as he remembered what Nadine had said.

"She got the date from Bob's?" Rae's eyes widened in surprise, "Alex, did you see him, speak with him?" At last maybe they had a break; she pulled her pad out of her pocket and began to take details down. "How did he pay for his meal?" Rae knew that when Alex was at Bob's he worked the cash register.

"I spoke to him; he had a bad headache and asked for a drink. I … I told him we didn't serve just drinks, but I'd get him a glass of water. By the time I got back with it he'd decided to eat as well."

"So, you could come down to the station and get a picture made of him?"

Alex thought for a moment, he could remember talking to the guy, he knew almost exactly what he had said to him, but that was all. "Rae, there was nothing about him that sticks in my mind. He was a little shorter than me, I guess, although with a counter in the way it's not easy to tell… he had … darkish hair, I guess he was ok looking, I'm sorry, Rae, I really can't remember much else."

Rae tried to ignore the despondency she was feeling and put a smile on her face. "Don't worry about it, but can you go to the station anyway? Make a statement and get an artist to do a likeness? Alex, we don't have anyone else who has any idea what he looks like, you are our best witness so far."

"How did she die, Rae?" Alex had nodded his understanding, but suddenly he needed to hear the details of what had happened to his friend.

Rae looked at Alex, he wasn't a young kid anymore, and she guessed it was time that she stopped thinking of him that way. He was her doctor, she trusted him with her life and that of her daughters' but somehow outside the hospital she still thought of him as younger than he was. She considered a little longer and knew that he could handle what she had to say.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Jesse had watched in silence as his friend sorted out the drinks and tried to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. All of a sudden his hands were clammy, his breathing was shallow, and he was terrified. He could feel the same type of fear as when he had been in the garage, could recognise the helplessness and vulnerability and he had to leave.

"I have things to do, Mark, I'll see you later at home, Amanda … Steve." He didn't stop to finish his coffee or to close up the file he was working on; he just stood and left the room.

Amanda began to rise out of her chair, but Mark placed a hand on her arm. "No, Honey, leave him be for now. I'll speak with him tonight. He … well, he asked me to help him this morning, but I need to go talk to Lauren Yung first."

Mark put Jesse out of his mind, knowing that he would give all of his time to his friend later and turned his attention back to the matter at hand. He moved his chair round the table so that he too could see the autopsy report, and gasped when he saw the name at the top, and the picture attached to the first page of details. "That was what you wanted to tell Jesse, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was; Dad, what's going on with Jesse? Rae came to the hospital with me, but she wouldn't come in, she thought it would be better if she didn't. It's almost as if he can't bear to be in the same room with us, I don't understand it, I don't understand it at all."

"I think you're right, he can't, but it's not that he can't bear it, it's more that he can't do it, can't cope with it. I don't know why, I haven't got that far yet, but somehow it's related to you and to Rae."

For a few minutes the room was quiet as the three occupants let their thoughts concentrate on their friend, but finally, all of them knowing that time was of the essence in any homicide case, they began to talk about the killing of Nadine Browton.

"There were some differences this time, compared to Samantha Morrison and Jenna Palmerton." Amanda's voice broke the silence, as she began to discuss her findings.

Steve looked at her with renewed interest. He hadn't, as yet, read any of the report, his eyes had rested on Nadine's picture and he had been reluctant to proceed. "Like what?"

"Like she was knocked out first. Or I presume it was first. She was definitely hit across the back of the head before she died, and I can't see why he would need to incapacitate her after he started stabbing her, the wounds to the feet would do that."

"So why did he change his MO? He killed the other two in exactly the same way, he slashed the feet, slit their throats, and it looked to me like her throat was cut this time too." Steve scanned the report, and found that Amanda agreed with him.

"I don't know maybe she still had the strength to fight back, or try to flee. Maybe he felt like a change, I'm not the person to ask that question, but I know Rae is contacting Ron so that he can help you draw up a profile." Amanda hadn't really looked too deeply into the work that her fiancé did, but she knew from what he had said that Rae found it fascinating.

"Another thing, which you may be able to use is that she had eaten very spicy food, Middle Eastern, African, I checked up on some restaurants and my guess would be maybe Moroccan or something like that. You might be able to find out who she was with if you can find the place they ate."

"Thanks, that is way more than we got with the other victims. We had two cops at Reds nightclub last week and Rae and I are going on Thursday to see if anyone remembers Jenna, with what happened with Jesse it's a bit later than I'd hoped to get there. The other officers didn't have much joy but I'm hoping that we'll get lucky."

"Some people go to these places once a week, once a month, you might be fortunate." Mark smiled at his son as he heard a slight note of despondency in his voice. He purposely hadn't said much, hoping that Steve and Amanda would dissect the autopsy themselves. Rae wasn't the only one who found criminal profiling fascinating, and once Ron had worked with the details he was given Mark knew that he would want to see a copy of the profile, and read the suggestions that had been made.

"I guess I'd better get to the financial district and catch up with Rae, and then I'm gonna head over to Nadine's apartment, see if there are any clues as to who she had her date with. Guys, thank you, it helps to talk. I'd like to brainstorm it with Jo, Rae and Jesse as well, but I don't think that's gonna be possible." Steve handed the manila folder back to Amanda and stood up. "Dad, if I give you the address would you like to meet me at Nadine's place?"

"Sure, I'll be there in what, an hour?"

"Something like that. I'll call if it's gonna be longer." Steve looked at Amanda as he saw her hand the folder back to him.

"You can take this one. I have my copy downstairs, I just made this up for your dad." Amanda smiled, she had known that Mark would want to be in on the investigation, and even though he hadn't said very much, hadn't offered his opinion, she had seen the way he had been sitting, thinking, and she knew that quite soon, probably by the time he got to the apartment, he would have some things to discuss with Steve.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Rae had stood in the foyer of the office block and debated whether to start on the ground floor or ride the elevator to the top and work downwards. In the end she decided that it was far more methodical to go up and then make her way back to the street. That decided she had travelled up to the top of the building and walked into the first office, her ID in her hand.

"Good morning, my name is Detective Yeager, LAPD, I'm investigating the murder of a woman in one of your elevators, and I would like to ask a few questions."

The receptionist had been all of about nineteen or twenty years old, she was slim and blonde, and Rae was reminded of Nadine, and the other case she was working. "If you'll hold on I'll go get someone, but I don't think she worked for us." The young girl, who Rae could see was called Marylyn, picked up the phone but Rae shook her head.

"She wasn't an employee here, or in any of the other businesses in this block, she was a customer."

"Oh, well, why didn't you say so? That'll be a completely different person; I would have got you the wrong man altogether. Hold on." Marylyn pressed a button and then waited, the light went out and she began to speak. "Hello? Is that Mr. Foyle? I have a …," there was a pause and Rae held her ID out so that her name was visible, "Detective Reagan Yeager, from the LAPD, in reception, she needs to speak with you about a customer's account. Yes, Sir… I'll do that." Rae waited as the call was disconnected and then looked expectantly at the young woman. "He says he'll be down in a few minutes, if you would like to wait."

Mr Foyle hadn't been able to help, neither had the next six companies that Rae had gone into. There had been three floors which only had one business on each, and so she was able to tick off the levels in the elevator quite quickly. Now she was waiting patiently for a Mrs Page to come and see her from a law firm which was obviously, by the expensively understated offices, very successful. Rae stood up as she saw a beautifully elegant woman come towards her. As she got a little closer, Rae saw that she wasn't actually as beautiful as she had thought, she was however, very well dressed and made up, and it was clear that Rae was definitely scruffy even though she had dressed up a little herself for Eliana's first day at pre-school.

"Detective Yeager, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, won't you please come this way?" Rae imagined that having a cop in reception wasn't good for business, even when she didn't actually look like one, or at least she didn't think she did.

The office was decorated in cool colours, and gave the impression of an airy room which was purely functional. There were three photographic prints on the walls, one of a wooden jetty jutting out into a smooth lake, the second one was of the water lapping against the bank of, presumably, the same lake, and the third one, black and white as its companions had been, of three small boats bobbing on the water at dusk. Rae found them compelling and restful, but pulled her eyes away from them and smiled at the woman before her.

"I'm sorry to bother you without making an appointment," she wasn't, but Rae had decided that being polite would be the best thing when dealing with bank or legal personnel. "I'm investigating the murder of a woman in the main elevator of this building, and I wondered if you could check your records for a name."

"Unless we have suddenly been transported back in time I believe I have already told two of your officers that we had no connection with the victim of that appalling crime."

"No, Ma'am, that hasn't happened, but we have reason to believe that the woman may have been using a different name." Rae smiled, although it was the last thing she felt like doing.

"Oh, I see, very well then, if you give me the details I will check again for you." The woman stood up and took the piece of paper which Rae had prepared. "If you would like to wait here I won't be a moment."

Rae smiled and watched the woman go through to the secretaries' room next door. She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. Rae had hoped that she might have had the chance to at least see Jesse from a distance in the hospital, but that hadn't been the case. Maybe he and Steve would have had a chance to talk, and he would understand how worried she was, but there was no guarantee Jesse would listen to Steve either. Rae didn't know if what they were doing was going to get them anywhere, but this time they were giving the banks and corporations far more to go on. They had a name, an address and maybe a motive; surely soon something would break the case wide open, if it didn't Rae had a feeling that it would have to be put on the back burner, at least until their red rose killer had been caught.

"Well, Detective, I think we can help you after all." Mrs Page's voice cut into Rae's thoughts.

"You can?" Rae sat up straight, not daring to believe what she had heard.

"Yes, you realise that you will need a search warrant I'm sure, but I can tell you that we do have documents held here in the name of Elizabeth Kagan of the address you gave me."

"I'll go and get one right now; Ma'am, please stay here, I'll be back, with my partner to execute this tonight." Rae knew that she would have no trouble in getting her warrant, not with the Chief of Police involved in the case. Rae left the office, got back into the elevator and then put a call through to Steve.

"Sloan here… Hi, Rae, did you find anything…? Really, ok … where are you?" Steve listened and smiled, then he stood still and waited.

"I'm just coming down in the lift; I reckon I'll be back on the sidewalk in about … oh, funny!" Rae stopped talking and walking as the elevator doors opened and Steve was standing right there smiling at her.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. So, I guess we go find a judge, huh?" Steve indicated with his hand that they should leave the building and they talked a little as they made their way to Steve's truck. Rae handed over the keys, which Steve took with a grateful smile, resisting the temptation to check the paintwork. She waited while her partner unlocked the vehicle, then climbed in, sat down and took out her cell phone.

"I need to speak with Ron; I want to get this profile up and running. He can come over to my place tonight and we can work on it there. I would rather do that than stay late at the station."

"Ok, that sounds like a plan to me. I can just climb over the fence to get home!"

"You are remarkably chipper; did you find something out at the hospital?" Rae looked at her partner; he did look enervated, as if he was eager to get on.

"Yeah, sort of, but first I need to apologise, Rae, I had no right to yell at you this morning, I'm sorry."

"No problem, we all have days when that's just the way we are, you don't do it to me very often, so it's forgotten, ok?"

"Ok, thanks." Steve paused for a moment and then brought himself back to the present. "Amanda says that Nadine was killed by our guy but he changed his MO somewhat. That should help with the profile I would think."

"It might. I wonder what it was that was different for him." Rae thought for a moment before continuing to speak. "You know he might even feel that Nadine wasn't a proper part of his plan; he may kill again real soon, like tonight, or tomorrow. There seems to be no pattern to the actual times of his killing but I could be wrong." Rae was thinking out loud and Steve let her keep talking. Sometimes she came up with things that way which worked real well, and he didn't have anything to say so he just drove and listened only asking questions when she began telling him what Alex had said.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

The sea rushed up to the shore over and over again, nothing about it really ever changed. Oh sure, it was calm some days and wild on others, but its journey was always the same, in and out, in and out. Jesse wished that his life had the power to stay the same. He didn't like change, no one did, not major changes anyway, but at the moment even little things like the shifts being changed at work so that people who should be there weren't, and those who shouldn't be were, that unnerved him too. Jesse sank down onto the sand and looked out at the horizon, something was wrong, but he couldn't work out what it was. He knew that he had been unfair to Rae, and he certainly hadn't explained things to her, but that was because he couldn't explain them to anyone except himself and things weren't very clear to him either.

He loved Rae, he was almost sure of that, but every time he saw her, or thought about their life together he felt as if he was coming unhinged. Jesse ran his fingers through his hair, he knew that he had hurt her, but he had wanted to, needed to, so she would hate him, it would make it easier for her to forget all about him, and easier for him to feel that it was for the best that they be apart if she hated him. "So why don't I?" Jesse was surprised by the sound of his own voice and realised that he had spoken aloud. "Why don't I feel **_so much better_** because I left my wife?" There was no answer except for the sound of the gulls overhead, calling to each other as they swooped and dived. Jesse put his head in his hands, he didn't know what to do with himself, he had to stop thinking, he could cope if he didn't think, but even when he did think, nothing was solved, nothing became clearer, he just got more puzzled, more terrified and more less like himself, and he hated it, he hated every bit of it. "Arghhhhh." Jesse let out an impassioned cry, and the tears spilled onto his cheeks, his lungs gasped for air and he let the sobs take over his whole body as he sat, shaking on the sand, completely oblivious to everything going on around him.

Mark had signed himself out of the hospital a little early when he had discovered that Jesse had done the same thing about an hour after he left the doctors' lounge, he had also, regretfully put a call through to Steve and told him that he wouldn't be able to get to Nadine's apartment. He knew that right now other things had priority. Mark was worried about Jesse, there was something wrong with him, not physically, Mark knew he was fine that way, but mentally, Jesse was suffering, and he had asked him for help. Mark knew that Jesse had taken an enormous step when he had done that, but the young man had been so tired, so in need of his sleep, that to have begun talking there and then that morning would have been counterproductive. Now though, there was a whole evening stretching out in front of him, and it would be just the two of them in the house. Alex had spoken to him and Mark knew he had been told about Nadine and that he was going to go and cover her shift, speak to any of the regular customers who asked about her and take note of what they said; Mark had a feeling that it would make the young man feel he was contributing more than he had been able to with the description of her date. Steve had called through to Cheryl and she was going to call in at Bob's on her way home and take statements from the other staff members, see if they knew any more details of what the waitress's plans had been for her off duty hours.

Mark had spoken to Lauren on the phone before leaving work, he had then picked up pizza on his way home and the smell of it in his car was wonderful. The garlic bread that he had also purchased just added to the aroma and by the time he parked in front of the beach house he was starving.

"Jess? Are you home? It's me, Mark." He made his way straight to the kitchen, switched on the oven and placed the food inside, then he checked Jesse's bedroom and the living areas before accepting what he already surmised, Jesse wasn't in the house. With a frown Mark made his way to the patio doors, slid them back and stepped onto the deck, out on the sand he could see the familiar figure of Jesse, but he could also see that his friend was in some distress, and so he hurried down the steps to join him.

"Jess?" Mark spoke before he was too close to his friend, not wanting to scare him by arriving unannounced. "I brought some dinner home, why don't you come in and eat? It smells really good."

"And you'll help me, I need help, Mark, please?" The words tore at Mark's heart, but they cheered him a little too. When he had spoken with Lauren Yung before leaving the hospital she had been relieved to hear that Jesse had actually asked for Mark's assistance. She had given him a few pointers, how to start a conversation, or to keep it going should it flag, but she had also told him to watch for signs that they should stop, or steer away from the direction that things were going, and he felt confident that he could at least begin to help Jesse's recovery.

Jesse had seen Mark smile when he asked for help, it had been all the answer he needed, and he climbed carefully to his feet and felt better right away when Mark put his arm around him and they walked to the house together. The closing of the patio doors had seemed to release the floodgates and the tears began in earnest. Mark carefully directed Jesse to the sofa and then, as he would with a young child or frightened patient, Mark had sat, close but not too close, and let Jesse cry some of his pain away.

Finally Jesse had looked up, his eyes red from crying and tried a smile. "Pizza, huh? Think I could have some?"

Mark nodded, and realising that his young friend needed a few moments to compose himself he headed for the kitchen to dish up the food.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

The search warrant had taken no time at all to get, the files had been collected from the law firm, Holen, Holen and Mayer, and locked in the cab of Steve's truck. They had then driven back past the station so that all the evidence could be safely stored away and then they had made their way towards Nadine's home which was a small house ten minutes from Barbeque Bob's.

Steve and Rae had picked up the key from the management agency and arrived at Nadine's residence a little after five. They opened the door and stepped inside and the smell hit them straight away.

"Oh, God, Steve …" Rae covered her face with her hand, the odour was extremely unpleasant, and it was obvious to the two experienced detectives that it came from something very dead.

The living room was to the right of where they were standing in a small entranceway, to the left was a bedroom, and down a small hall were two more doors. Rae, remembering what had faced her in Crozier's kitchen, hoped that they weren't going to find something equally disgusting this time.

"Let's just check each room in turn, and see what we can find." Steve moved into the main room of the place, as Rae took her pad out and began to draw a rough outline of what they could see. The apartment could well be the crime scene, or the beginning of it, and Rae didn't want to miss anything.  The living room was spotlessly tidy, but they both felt something was amiss.

"This doesn't look right to me, I don't know why but it doesn't." Rae looked around, she had searched too many houses to recall, on both sides of the Atlantic, and this was definitely wrong. "Let's move on, don't look at anything in here, don't touch anything, I want to come back here last, after I've seen the rest of the house." Rae moved back out into the front hallway and into the bedroom. Steve, who hadn't said a word just followed her knowing that he agreed with her and that he didn't know why either.

The bedroom was also tidy, it wasn't fussy, just a bed with a light blue throw over it, a nightstand with a photo of a large group of people, which Steve had a feeling was her family, a carafe of water, and an alarm clock on it. At the end of the bed there was a dressing table which was reasonably neat. The cosmetics were on one side, perfumes and cleansers on the other. Steve looked over to Rae; she was more attuned to womens' bedrooms than he was.

"This is better. This is what I would expect to find. The bed is made, a little crumpled, but made, they might have had sex in here, but the room is as she would have hastily left it on Saturday morning or any other morning for that matter, the lounge doesn't say that to me."

"So do you want to go back in there next?" Steve decided to leave the initiative to his partner, she was obviously working in a set direction, and he didn't want to interfere, not yet anyway.

"No, let's do the rest of the house first, I've seen it, but I want to be able to compare it to all the other rooms. Let's try the kitchen next."

The kitchen was also spotlessly tidy and Steve saw Rae shake her head again. "No, this isn't right either." She moved over towards the sink unit and looked closely at it, she sniffed the plug hole, and she pulled a face afterwards. Once she had looked all round the room, not saying or touching anything, Rae began to draw what she could see. It wasn't her job to make the crime scene sketch, and as far as they knew this still wasn't a crime scene, but it could become one and she wanted to record her own observations. Again Steve stood and waited, he had sniffed the sink after his partner, and he too had grimaced at the smell of musty coffee.

"Ok, bathroom and then living room." Rae opened the door to the bathroom and gasped. "Oh, God." The smell hit both of them at once, and then Rae spoke again, "Oh, no, the poor thing." She moved quickly into the room to let Steve see as well, because in the bathtub, surrounded by blood, was the body of a kitten, its throat cut, its tail removed and put into its mouth.

There were no maggots on the body of the cat, but there were spiders, little mites and millipedes in the tub along with the small corpse which had begun to decompose rapidly in the warm climate of the bathroom. Rae steeled herself and began to draw once more. There was, she noted, blood on the carpet and the side of the bath, "Why didn't he clean this up?" Rae spoke as she drew, trying to make sure that the blood splatters were at least reasonably accurate on her drawing.

"He? You mean the murderer don't you?" Steve had been wondering the same thing, but by asking the question he was drawing Rae into a discussion, which would hopefully bring both their thoughts out into the open.

"Yes, Nadine wouldn't do this; the cat was killed for the hell of it. I would say that he cut the tail off first, then cut its throat. Vicious bastard!"

"Rae!" Steve wasn't bothered by the language, he heard worse most days, but he was surprised by it.

"Well, how else am I supposed to describe him? This guy fits a pattern, I don't know anywhere near as much as Ron, but I do know that there is a pattern here, and with his help we will find this guy, however long it takes."

"But the longer it does take the more victims there will be." Steve shook his head, there were already three bodies with this guy's name on them, and he knew that the way things were going at this moment there would be more before they could work out who he was and nail him.

Rae didn't reply, she couldn't, already this was personal, in a way it was always personal the moment a victim became their responsibility, but now with the discovery of Nadine's body it was even more so and somehow the kitten in the bath had added insult to injury. Without a word Rae finished her sketch and then she made her way back down the hallway and into the living room once more. She looked around, still not touching anything, even though she had pulled gloves on in the bathroom as soon as she had seen the body of the cat.

"No, this is definitely not right. This room has been tidied up by someone who didn't live here."

"How can you tell that?" Steve looked at the room with a more interested eye. To him it just looked very tidy, but he was used to living in a very tidy house, and so it didn't seem out of the ordinary.

"When I lived in London my mother used to come visit and she just couldn't sit still, so she used to tidy. Now remember, I didn't have the children with me, I worked all the hours God sent, and then did overtime, my house never had the chance to get untidy. But still she would tidy up, and I could never find anything! I would have to change my little knick knacks and doodads round once she had left because she always put them in the wrong place."

"And?"

"And this place looks like someone who doesn't live here cleaned it up."

"Maybe she had a cleaner." Steve looked around to see if he could see what sort of thing Rae was getting at.

"Yeah, right, she worked in a barbeque restaurant!" Rae looked at him, her expression showing him just how seriously she took his suggestion. "I know you're good to your staff, but she waited tables, Steve, she was more likely to be a cleaner than have one!"

"So you think what, that her killer cleared this place?" Steve smiled; he hadn't expected her to go with what he said.

"Yep here and in the kitchen, she might have been killed there, or attacked; the cat obviously was slaughtered in the bathroom. We need to get the scene of crime guys here and …" Rae stopped talking, she had been walking towards the other end of the room as she spoke but now her eyes were looking down at the carpet and she pointed. "This sofa has been moved, it was further into the room before."

Steve pulled his phone from his pocket and punched in the number, five minutes later; they were waiting for forensics, and had also asked Amanda to liaise with a police vet who would perform an autopsy on the kitten. They wanted to know if it had died before Nadine or after. If it was significantly later than its owner then there was a chance that the murderer came back to clear up the living room, if it was the same time, then it would be more likely that he cleared up with the unconscious Nadine still in the house and then killed her where she was found.

They waited in companionable silence for their backup to arrive and then, once they had told the officers what they needed, headed towards Steve's truck still not saying very much.

"I guess we need to go home, Ron will be coming round soon. I have to get the girls, and I am beginning to need my evening meal."

"Do you need me to drop you off at the station so you can pick up a car?"

Rae nodded her head realising that now she was alone she would need to have a car she could rely on totally at all times. "Yeah, I am going to go buy another car at the weekend, but until then I guess it's blue and boring all the way." She leant back in the seat relieved to have a moment to gather her thoughts. The day had been fruitful but there were moments when she felt life was running away with her.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

"Mark, do you think that you can help me?" Jesse had eaten his pizza in almost total silence, and the few comments he had made had been of no real consequence.

"Jesse, I don't know, but I will try, and if you let me I'll talk to Lauren as well, I'm sure that between us we can at least point you in the right direction to take responsibility for your own recovery." Mark had finished his meal, but the plates still sat on the table. He hadn't wanted to leave the room in case Jesse shut down and refused to discuss things. His phone call with Doctor Yung hadn't revealed what the problem was, just a basic diagnosis, now Mark knew that it was up to Jesse.

"I want things to go back to how they used to be. Why can't that happen?" Jesse looked at Mark and the pain in his eyes made the older man catch his breath.

"Jesse, you know that we can never go back, but why would you want to? I know that what happened to you was horrendous, but Werner isn't a threat any more, you and Jo are safe, I realise it's hard to forget, and maybe we shouldn't, but we can go forward now, all of us." Mark spoke softly, wishing Jesse had asked him a question to which he could have a better answer.

"No, I don't mean that, it has to be as before, how it used to be, when it was just us." Jesse stood up, he didn't know how to explain his words, and still be understood and liked. He knew that no one would want him around if he told them what he really felt.

Mark watched Jesse as he moved over and looked out to sea. The conflict inside his friend was obvious at the moment, but at least he was talking. "By just us do you mean no Jo, Daniel or Michael, no Rae?" Mark was sure he had misunderstood, and he waited, hoping that Jesse would correct him. When it became apparent that he hadn't been mistaken he spoke again, the amazement clear in his voice. "Jesse, why would you want that? You wouldn't be married; you wouldn't have two beautiful children." Mark stopped talking, he wasn't sure how to respond, or even if he should, maybe waiting was the answer, but Jesse didn't look like he wanted to speak yet. Mark shook his head, he would just sit, at least for a minute or two and see what happened.

"I told her, I told her how I felt, but she couldn't understand how it had to be. But if she isn't there, isn't part of it any more then we could go back to how it was, just you, Amanda … Steve and me." Jesse had been silent for almost five minutes, and Mark wished that he was silent still. He noticed how Jesse paused before saying his son's name and recalled his behaviour earlier in the day, and what Steve had said.

"How can we go back, if you can't even talk to Steve? Jess, you couldn't stay in the same room with him at the hospital, do you know why that is?"

Jesse shook his head, it didn't seem to be an answer, more a movement for his own benefit and Mark, not wanting to lose him plunged on. "Jesse, you attacked him, you almost killed him, why did you do that?"

Again the room was silent, but then Jesse began to speak, his voice though was different, there was a slightly distant quality to it, and Mark watched him closely. "The light, the light was there, and they come when the light is there. I have to get outside; no one ever took me outside. I would have been safe in the yard, but they were stopping me, people, voices, I had to get away from them, but they kept coming, closer and closer, and they knew my name, if they know your name they can hurt you, I … I didn't want to be hurt again. Mark, please, don't let them hurt me again, I only told the once, I didn't mean to, please Mark, help me." Jesse had moved until he was against the wall, and now he slid down it, hugging his knees and rocking slightly as he spoke.

"He left me … why did he do that? And then we were taken … I couldn't stop it … I wanted to, I should have known, but I didn't, and I … I couldn't stop it, I tried, Mark … I really tried, but I … I couldn't stop it." Jesse was losing control now, and Mark knew that he had to reach him, tell him it was ok, that they would talk again later, he crouched down in front of his friend, but he didn't touch him.

"Jesse, look at me … Jess, listen to my voice, it's over, nothing can hurt you now, you are here, with friends, but I think maybe you should go lie down for a while … Jesse?" Mark wasn't sure if his words were making an impression or not, but then he saw him nod, just slightly, but it was a nod and Mark carefully stood up and then extended his hand.

Jesse looked up, Mark seemed a long way off, and his voice seemed to be coming from someplace else, but it was friendly, he could hear the concern, the love in it and he knew that he hadn't alienated him, Mark would still help and suddenly he was incredibly tired and so he took the hand being offered and let Mark lead him to his room.


	17. Profile of a Killer

> **Chapter Seventeen – Profile of a Killer**
> 
> It was dark when Jesse woke up, and for a moment he had no idea where he was. The shadow filled room didn't look at all familiar, and as he felt his heart beating faster and faster in his chest he closed his eyes tightly. Maybe they had him again, but he wasn't tied up, or in a cage, or anything, he was in a bed, he guessed he could have been drugged, that must be it, he'd been drugged. But he was awake now, and there was no one with him, he should try to escape, if he could get to the outside, into the air they wouldn't get him. He had always been free when he was outside. Slowly and carefully Jesse opened his eyes again, and realised where he was, recognised the pictures on the walls, the covers on the bed, he flopped back against the pillows knowing that he was safe at the beach house, but exhausted from the emotion of his waking, and scared by his reactions and inability to remember something so fundamental as where he was.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The article in the paper had been more prominent this time, and Dominic clipped it and carefully stored it away with the others. Finally they were making a connection between the deaths, it was about time. He had seen them, watched them make their way to where he had left her, a tall man with light brown hair and a shorter woman with darker brown hair. Shame, it would have been so much fun if it had been blonde. Dominic knew that he needed to go out, he needed to go and be sociable, find a crowd to join, but Mondays were dead, dead boring. Suddenly he knew what he would do; it wouldn't take long, not if he used the car. That nosey janitor would be around, but Matthew could deal with him. He smiled, excited that he had something to do and anxious to get started on it right away.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had picked up her daughters from Sally and driven straight home, Anneya had been fractious in the car, and had fallen into a disturbed sleep just as they turned into the driveway. Rae had tried not to wake her but she hadn't been successful and once inside the house it had taken her almost thirty minutes to quieten her down and make her comfortable enough that she wanted to be sociable. The meal Rae had taken out of the freezer before leaving for work was defrosted in the refrigerator, and she placed it in the microwave to cook while she stuck the first picture that Eliana had brought home from pre-school on the door of one of the kitchen cabinets.
> 
> "Vat's me, you, Neya and Daddy, and vat is Unki Teve." Eliana pointed to each person in turn and then beamed at her mother.
> 
> "It's beautiful, sweetheart, thank you for drawing it for me." Rae had crouched down and kissed her daughter gently on her soft silky cheek. "You are a very clever girl. Now, tell me about your day at school and Anneya too, we can sit at the table and wait for tea while we listen to you."
> 
> The whole experience had been very pleasant, and Rae had enjoyed the sound of her eldest child's happy chatter which filled the room and helped her to unwind. Anneya hadn't eaten very much of her meal, a fish pie that she usually loved, and Rae had been a little concerned to discover that she had a slight temperature.
> 
> They had been sitting together in the playroom reading stories and finding things hidden on the pages of the book when the doorbell rang and Rae answered it to find that Ron Wagner had arrived. For a while longer stories had been read and then Rae had excused herself to put the girls to bed. Rae had given Anneya some infant Tylenol and sat with her for a little longer than usual because she was sure that her youngest daughter had the start of a cold. She kissed Eliana and her sister and then made sure that the baby monitor was switched on before heading down the stairs to call Steve and let him know that they were ready to start work.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Steve had arrived home to find dinner was waiting for him, and would be ready as soon as he'd had a shower and a half hour in front of the TV. He had done as he was told and had then been delighted to be able to sit down and eat with his wife and son. He knew that something was up, although he couldn't work out what. Michael had left for Texas that morning, and he had expected Jo and Daniel to be a little downcast. They both loved the butler very much and missed him on the rare occasions when he was away. The atmosphere though was anything but how he expected it to be. There was an air of expectation of something wonderful about to happen and in the end, half way through his meatloaf, salad and fries he had put his cutlery down on the plate and looked at the two pairs of shining eyes watching his every move.
> 
> "Ok, give. Something is up, or has happened or … or something. The pair of you are like … I don't know, kids on Christmas day, so come on, give … or I won't eat my dinner!" Steve folded his arms as he made his light-hearted threat. Although he didn't know it his eyes were shining too, and the whole room was alight with love and anticipation as Daniel handed over an envelope and waited, sure that his dad could hear his every breath or heart beat. Steve slid the letter out and read it, and then a big smile crossed his face. "This Friday? Daniel, that's just wonderful."
> 
> "And you'll come? You'll be able to be there with Mom and me?" The boy's eyes showed his concern and he looked worried as he spoke.
> 
> "Of course. I'll book the day off when I get into work tomorrow, and even if I can't take all of it, I'll make sure I'm there. Rae wouldn't let me work anyway." Steve smiled again, looked over the letter once more and let out a deep contented sigh. If all things went according to plan, and there was no reason for them not to, then by this time on the Friday Daniel would really be their son, in the eyes of the law, the whole world, as well as in their hearts. Steve reached his hand out across the table and took his son's slightly smaller one into his own. "There is nowhere else in the world I would want to be than with you and your mom when this is all finalised, nowhere else at all."
> 
> Daniel was thrilled by what his dad said, but not really sure how to reply to him and so he was eternally grateful to whoever it was on the phone which suddenly began to ring in the hallway. For a moment everyone just sat there, and then they all realised at once that Michael was away and they needed to answer it themselves. Daniel jumped to his feet and rushed towards it, and then yelled out, "Dad, it's Rae, she says to tell you that Ron is at Oak Place and they are ready when you are."
> 
> "Tell her I'll be about ten minutes, maybe a little longer." Steve tried to drag his mind away from pleasant family activities and back to brutal murders and the personalities of the people who perpetrated them, it wasn't easy, but he knew he had to do it. Just as he owed it to Daniel to be with him on the Friday, so he owed it to Nadine to get back to work right now.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had given Ron a copy of all the files that they had on their red rose killer and then she had made him a cup of coffee. After that she had left him to work quietly one end of the dining table while she began to go through the papers from Elizabeth Kagan Masters' lawyer at the other.
> 
> Rae knew that if Ron had any questions he would ask her, if not he wouldn't want to hear any of their theories until he had gone through everything himself. She had read a couple of books on FBI profiling and it was an area that she found fascinating. There was no way that she would consider herself half way to being an expert, but she did have an idea how to begin to put a profile together, and was looking forward to seeing if Ron agreed with some of the things she had worked out for herself.
> 
> The papers from Holen, Holen and Mayer were typical of the type she would expect to get from a lawyer, and they didn't make for easy reading. Rae had found in the past that the best way for her to deal with anything containing legalese was to write notes in her own words for each paragraph and then re-read what she had written. The first thing that she had looked for had been the will, and there had been three of them, the most current one being dated three years ago, which Rae presumed Elizabeth had changed because of the presence of John Masters in her life once more.
> 
> Straight away Rae had realised that she was onto something, and her gasp had caused Ron to look up. "Rae?"
> 
> "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, but I just found out a very interesting fact, very interesting indeed." Rae's face was alive with her discovery, she knew that what she had was important; she wasn't sure quite how important, but it was definitely interesting.
> 
> The room descended back into silence and the two friends began working again. Ron was impressed by the detail in all the notes he had been given and the beginnings of a profile were already coming together. He heard the doorbell and saw Rae move out into the hallway to let her partner in, but he returned to his work almost immediately.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> It was a nice night, the air in Santa Monica was clean and fresh, the smell of the ocean pleasantly wafting over him in the breeze. Just being here, sitting on the grass, where, if you looked closely, you could still see the blood, made him feel … powerful, strong again. She had been so lovely, so friendly and talkative. They had enjoyed each other's company. As he sat there, their conversation played over in his mind.
> 
> _"Are you always gonna work in a drug store?"_
> 
> _"No, I hope not." She had shaken her head. "My mom runs the fitness centre at the hotel, but we want to open one together. She is just so good, her clients love her. I'm going to save my money for a year or two and then go to college and get a degree in management. I'll work too, that way we can have the money together for our own place much sooner. What about you, what do you do?" She had moved a little closer as she spoke to him and he had put his arm around her._
> 
> _"I'm a hairdresser, I'd love to have my own place, but right now I just like working and enjoying being in LA." He had pressed the knife to her throat as he spoke, and pushing it hard against the skin had felt the warm blood as it spurted out onto his hand, heard her gasp and panic as she tried to move away, but he had her tight in his grasp, and soon she stopped struggling, stopped moving away from him and he was able to carry on with his task. _
> 
> The area he had chosen to kill her in was quiet, but not deserted, and that had added to the excitement, to the danger, he had known he wouldn't be found, known that he would be able to proceed just as always. He liked that he could alter things, could kill them in different ways but still end up with the same corpse. She was always dead, he should never have let her get away from him, and one day he would find her and she would die again.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Jesse had got out of bed and made his way towards the living room of the beach house. The smell of coffee from the kitchen had made him change direction and now he was sitting on the deck cupping the mug between his hands trying to work out how to get his life back in line. Rae's beautiful face came up in his mind, but he pushed it away. If he thought about her too much his resolve to stay away from her crumbled, but he knew that for his own sanity they had to be apart, even though he loved her, everything that had happened which was bad could be laid at her door, and he couldn't cope with that any longer. He wished that there was a way that he could get everything together and still be able to be married to her, but he couldn't see a way for that to be, not with what he knew, not with what had happened, and he sighed deeply. Jesse knew that he had problems coping with life, he also knew that he had people who loved him enough to want to help him, but before he could let them do that he had to get himself to a stage where he could talk, coherently without panicking, fading out or just closing down all together. He looked out of the window at the sand, he would go there, he could sit and contemplate all that had happened, and know that he was safe, that no one could hurt him there.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Steve and Rae had talked quietly in the kitchen for a little over an hour before Ron called out to them. He had been grateful for their thoughtfulness, and now he knew that he could at least begin to help them find their killer.
> 
> Rae had been delighted at Steve's news and, as he had expected, she had told him that under no circumstances did she expect to see him on Friday. Ron had called them just after Rae had told him about the details of Elizabeth's will and they had put both other business and pleasure to the back of their minds and begun to concentrate on the matter in hand.
> 
> "Ok. So far as I can ascertain from the notes you gave me, you have a serious problem here, but I guess you already know that." Ron looked at the two solemn faces in front of him. Rae had obviously been designated the note taker because she had a tablet of paper in front of her and was holding a pen in her left hand ready to begin writing as soon as he said anything relevant.
> 
> "Usually we would go through a profile calling the guy an UNSUB, but we have a name, so in a way he isn't an unknown subject, it doesn't help us much but it personalises him, and somehow that makes him more real, more dangerous, to me at any rate."
> 
> "Sort of like naming a lamb or a piglet and then you can't kill them for meat because they have an identity?" Rae was looking intently at Ron, wondering if she dare share what she thought about the case.
> 
> "In a way, yes, but I guess that didn't bother Hannibal Lecter or Jeffery Dahmer!"
> 
> For a moment Rae just looked at him and then realisation crossed her face and she grimaced, "At least one of those was fictional!"
> 
> Ron decided that it was probably best not to proceed with that train of thought at the moment and carried on talking. "So, our UNSUB, Dominic, I would say you have a white male, late twenties, possibly early thirties, and he is confident, very confident, outwardly at least."
> 
> "What makes you say that? I thought that most sexual killers were inadequate, loners maybe, not successful with women." Steve could see Rae taking note of all that Ron was saying and so he knew he could speak freely and still have the whole meeting recorded at the end.
> 
> "A lot of them are, but this guy dates his victims. He doesn't just attack and kill, he goes out of his way to make himself known to them, he takes them out. If Amanda is to be believed, and I wouldn't dare do anything else!" Ron paused for a moment, a smile playing across his lips. This was serious, deadly serious, but the chance to profile with two of the closest friends he had was a welcome change. "If Amanda is to be believed, then he took Nadine Browton out for a meal."
> 
> "It could have been takeout couldn't it?" Steve looked up; he had to admit to not having thought of that before.
> 
> "It could, but let's think positive. Like I said, he's confident, he wants to put his victims at their ease, these are, from what we can gather, first dates, or in the case of Jenna not really a date, just someone it appears she met on a night out. I don't think there are many women in this day and age who would agree to take out at a guy's apartment for a first meeting unless they knew him already." Ron was sure that this UNSUB was showing off his women before killing them, but he would get to that in a moment.
> 
> "He killed Jenna and Samantha at the places they were found, Nadine too, but with her the MO is different. Is that a bad thing?" Rae was glad to be able to ask her question, she was very concerned about the differences this time around.
> 
> "No, not necessarily. The way a victim is killed can be split into two parts. There is the MO and the signature. This guy's MO is that he kills with a knife; he likes young women, preferably blonde. He knocked his third victim unconscious before killing her, which shows me that if things don't go quite according to plan he is prepared to compensate, to change things a little. I don't know that he could shoot his victim, or strangle her, but if necessary he can incapacitate her before he uses his knife."
> 
> "…incapacitate before using knife." Rae looked up and smiled. "But that's not his signature is it; would the knife be part of his signature or just what he does with it?"
> 
> "Signature?" Steve was lost, and he wasn't sure why. He didn't profile very much, in fact he wasn't certain that he knew enough about it to even try, but he knew that Rae maybe, and Ron obviously, did.
> 
> "A signature is the part of the ritual of killing that the murderer can't change. So yes, the knife comes under both headings, but in this case I would say that it is the way he uses the weapon that is the signature. He takes them out, shows the world that here is a beautiful woman and she is with him, no one else, him. Then he takes them home, or tells them he is taking them home, I don't know, but instead he slits their throats, he slashes their feet, he stabs them over and over, there is the appearance of frenzy but I think that all of it is very controlled, I think **_he_** is very controlled."
> 
> "We thought that too." Steve remembered back to one of the first conversations he and Rae had had about the killings. "The first victim, although she was stabbed many times there was a definite pattern to it, we felt he was trying to portray someone out of control when he was actually totally in command of the entire situation." Maybe he knew more about this than he realised, he just didn't give it fancy names, to him it was police work, pure and simple.
> 
> "Oh yeah, I would agree with that completely." Ron nodded as he listened to Steve's words. "And there was me thinking you weren't convinced as to the use of profiling." Ron smiled as he spoke, and was amused to see Steve look confused for a moment.
> 
> "So, can you describe him to us? We need some place to start as we go through all the known sex offenders in LA, otherwise we will be here until doomsday." Rae looked up, she had read through what she had so far, and although interesting it wasn't what she wanted.
> 
> "If you are ready, yeah, I can list his personality and criminal traits as I see them, then any questions you have, or I have, we can go through that too."
> 
> For a moment the room was silent and then Ron began to speak. There was a new tone in his voice, and both Steve and Rae knew that he was speaking with the authority of someone confident in the job he was performing.
> 
> "Ok, Dominic, which may not be his real name, but that is a given I guess, he is a white male, late twenties, early thirties, charming, confident, or giving the appearance of confidence. In the end with all these guys there is an inadequacy, something that makes them kill. I would say he was well educated, maybe even right through college, he works, white collar work, maybe in an office, but I think he would want to be more on show than that. Somewhere he can meet young women that fit his criteria."
> 
> "Like a store, or maybe a cab driver something like that?" Steve looked a little thoughtful as he tried to work out what sort of jobs would fit that description.
> 
> "Maybe, he may have something to do with authority or authority figures; he could possibly be a cop, or a civilian worker, maybe even a crime scene guy."
> 
> "You're kidding." Rae looked up; she hadn't considered the likelihood of that.
> 
> "No, I'm not kidding at all. This guy wants to dominate, he wants to be in control, ultimately he wants to humiliate his victims, which is why he cuts off their hair. But he needs to be able to get to them first, get them to let their guard down. I'm not saying that he is a cop, but somehow he will have a connection to what is going on with these cases, even if it is just listening in on the police frequency, he will have to, he won't be able to help himself."
> 
> "Is there anybody in the department actually working for the good guy?" Steve picked up the cup of coffee he had brought in from the kitchen with him and took a drink. It was stone cold and he shuddered.
> 
> "I don't think he's a cop, but I want you to consider that he might be. He will need to know that you are taking his case seriously; he will want to know that he is beating you, and the system, and he will revel in the attention he is getting. He will take great care over his appearance, and he will drive a very flashy car, red probably, and quite new or, conversely, old and classic, but it will be a head turner, which is what he considers himself to be. Oh, and he will have a record, someplace he is already on file."
> 
> "How can you tell all of that from what we gave you?" The mistrust and disbelief was evident in Steve's voice, and his question came out sharply. "We have three victims, who were stabbed, mutilated and dumped, how can you possibly know what type of car he drives from that?"
> 
> "Because there is always a pattern; always." Ron didn't seem at all bothered by Steve's outburst and continued speaking calmly. "He will have most of the traits that I have mentioned, I am certain of that."
> 
> "Steve, you work to a pattern, so do I. Why should he be any different? I could profile you from your record, and if you tried you could do the same for me. Being good or bad doesn't change that, it just changes the results." Rae spoke quietly and saw the confusion on her partner's face again.
> 
> "I guess so, it just amazes me that so much can be taken from the information we have, which I thought was precious little."
> 
> Ron sat quietly for a moment or two as Steve and Rae talked between themselves. He hadn't been profiling very long but he knew that their reactions were pretty common place. He had worked at Quantico where the main profiling centre was, and had attended courses both while he had been assigned there, and since he moved to Los Angeles.
> 
> "How do we catch this guy?" Rae shifted her attention from Steve and asked the question at the forefront of her mind.
> 
> "You play to his vanity, but you scare him too." Ron smiled, in a way this was the easy bit. "You make sure that the cases get wide publicity, that there are pictures of the victims in the papers, but you or Steve give a press conference saying how close you are to getting this guy, that you have no doubt that he will be caught."
> 
> "And then what?" Steve looked doubtful again. He felt the press coverage was adding fuel to this guy's fire, and now Ron was saying that was a good thing.
> 
> "You can wait, or you can see if you can personalise it, maybe get one of the families to agree to a magazine article about what has happened to their lives since their child was killed, put the address of where she is buried in it that sort of thing."
> 
> "Why on earth would they want to do that? Their lives have been torn asunder and they are going to put themselves on show?" Steve stood up and moved over to the patio doors leading out into the garden. For a moment he was a victim again, he was waiting for word on Jo and Jesse when they had been taken and he knew with absolute certainty that he wouldn't have been able to go public in his distress.
> 
> "Steve, sit down, there is a reason for this and it's not voyeurism, at least not for us. These guys, they need the power their crimes give them. They will go to the grave or to the place where the killing took place and relive the deeds in their minds, get off on it again, get their kicks from it over and over, and sometimes that is where we step in and get them." Ron tried to reach his friend; he could see that there was inner conflict, although he wasn't sure where it was coming from or why. "Do you remember the cases in Chicago when bottles of Tylenol were laced?"
> 
> "Yeah, in the eighties, so?" Steve wasn't sure where the conversation was going, but at least they had strayed away from things that made memories he wanted to suppress rear their heads.
> 
> "So the profile on that was right, they even caught the guy they figured for a letter writing campaign at the same time, in the place the profiler suggested looking. The guy was out of town and so they said he would go to the nearest library to check the papers local to his home. They were right, and he was caught there."
> 
> "Ron, I'm not trying to disprove profiling as a science, I don't fully understand it, but I'm willing to give it a go. I know just from looking at her that Rae is convinced by what you say, and if you're right then we have way more now than we had a couple of hours ago, but …" he trailed off, not sure how to continue.
> 
> "But, you and I both know that I've got things wrong in the past, and been corrected by your dad, yeah, that's true, and in part he's why I took these courses. There has to be a pattern, to everything in life, and if we can keep that in mind then however long it takes us to solve these crimes, one day we will do just that. No one will get away with murder, not if I can help it." Ron's voice was taut with emotion, and both Rae and Steve got a little insight into what made him tick.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The sand was soft and warm under his fingers, probably because the sun, even though it was a winter one, had been on it all day. Jesse felt safe here, safer than in the house, even though only good things happened at Mark's place. He needed to know how he could explain to everyone what it was he wanted. He knew that he had the power to hurt people, badly, and that scared him, but if he didn't do it then he would be the one who was hurt, and he was ashamed to admit that that scared him even more.
> 
> Jesse forced himself to think back, he could do it here, where no one could get to him, he could keep his eyes open and still have the sight of the sand and sea, the smell of the ocean and the sound of the gulls, but he could also work through his feelings, and maybe he would find a way to sort his life out without having to tell everyone his deepest and darkest thoughts.
> 
> The place they had kept him had been barren, dusty and dirty, and he had been scared almost all the time. He knew now that he had been given drugs, hallucinogenic drugs, but at the time it had all been so real. He didn't need to close his eyes to see her, or to feel the shame of the reactions he had felt, or the embarrassment when he had written that newspaper article, now though, it was impossible to rid his mind of the memories and they came pouring forth.
> 
> "_Don't you like me, Jesse? You have been chosen specially, especially for me."_
> 
> "_Who are you?" He tried to turn but he was tied down and couldn't move his head to get a better view of who was speaking._
> 
> _"My name is Ayshanta and I have been chosen for you."_
> 
> _"For me, why?__ And why can't I see you?" He felt hands then, fingers as they began to run through his hair, but still he couldn't see her. He had never had his head massaged in such a way; it was wonderful, as if she had fifteen or twenty fingers instead of ten. They made their way down around his ears, back up into his hair again and even though he didn't want to respond in any way he couldn't help himself and he called out. "Ooooh, that's great." _
> 
> _"I am glad you like it, on my planet it is a mating ritual." Ayshanta's voice was deep and very sexy._
> 
> _"Your … your planet? I … I don't understand." But he did, suddenly he did, he had seen them come and get him, strange people, not that tall, but their heads were wide, they had come to the cabin… Steve, where was Steve? "My friend, what did you do to my friend?"_
> 
> _"You were alone, we made sure of that, nobody must know, we are in danger from your law enforcers, but we need you, Jesse, we need you to help us survive." He was sure he could hear tears in her voice, and for a moment the massage got a little firmer and he moved under her touch. "Oh, I am sorry, that is right, is it not, sorry?"_
> 
> _"Yeah, that's right, but I can understand you, I guess it's just like Star Trek, you have a universal translator, huh?"_
> 
> _"If I touch you, I can understand you, and you can understand me, if I move away," the air was filled with strange guttural sounds and Jesse shuddered. Suddenly he was very frightened. "No, please, come back, touch me again."_
> 
> _The sounds changed and Jesse relaxed. "Don't worry … my darling; is that right, my darling?"_
> 
> _For a moment the hesitancy was back, but what she was doing, the aroma that he suddenly noticed, they relaxed him, made him feel unthreatened and he spoke again. "Yeah, I guess so … what's that smell?" he was even more aware of the soothing and calming scent as it wafted over him, and then he felt the fingers as they moved down onto his shoulders, and began to undo his shirt. _
> 
> _"Hey, no, what are you doing?" His fear rose up again, but the smell increased, and he felt himself melt under her touch._
> 
> _"I can take this part of you off … it is not attached?"_
> 
> _"No, it isn't attached." Jesse laughed, and then moaned as he felt the touch of her on his skin. "Oh, God, that's good …" _
> 
> Jesse shut his mind to the thoughts, he had told Rae all about it, he should never have told. They had given him instructions, he hadn't followed them, and now everything was wrong again. But she had wanted to know, if she hadn't asked, hadn't probed, then everything would have been ok. Almost straight after she asked he had been hurt again, shot and left to die, had almost died, and then it had happened again, but the last time had been worse. He'd known, somehow Werner had known what happened that first time, had told him the same things, said that the same things would happen if he told, and he knew that he had to go back to a time when he had told no one, that way all of the bad things would disappear, and he would be just like he used to be, life would be like it used to be, and he wouldn't be scared any more.


	18. A Mother's Worst Nightmare

> **Chapter Eighteen A Mother's Worst Nightmare**
> 
> Rae had washed up the coffee cups after Ron and Steve left and then, her mind still full of the details of the day, she sat down on the sofa in the breakfast room with the profile notes and the pages she had written on Elizabeth Masters. Even when her life was rolling along at half speed it was complicated and full of problems, and now she had so much information that needed to be processed, typed up, noted down, whatever, that she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she at least got it straight in her brain.
> 
> Rae let her thoughts wander for a moment to a subject constantly on her mind; she missed Jesse all the time, but now, right now, she knew that if he had been here he would have been full of both cases, wanting to know about them, help out, tell her what he thought, or the old Jesse would. The new one, well she wasn't so sure.
> 
> With a deep sigh she got to her feet and moved across to the fireplace. On the mantle above it was a photo of Jesse, and she picked it up and looked at it. The smiling face and twinkling blue eyes that looked back at her made her catch her breath and the pain in her heart hurt her even more. Blinded by the tears that she had managed to keep at bay since her husband had driven away on the Saturday evening, she stumbled back to the sofa and collapsed onto it; sobbing loudly and taking in deep gulps of air as she let the pain and anguish of her loneliness overwhelm her.
> 
> Rae wasn't sure how long she had been crying before she heard a small tremulous voice, and felt a soft hand on her own. "Mommy, don't cwy, pease." Eliana's voice was full of tears, and Rae turned towards her daughter.
> 
> "Oh, Baby … I'm so sorry … It's all right … Mummy's just a little sad." Rae sat up and brushed at her little girl's tears then she scooped her up and held her close. "Shhh, it's ok, baby, hush." Rae rocked back and forth, the feeling of the soft pudgy arms as they wrapped themselves around her neck warming her through. "Come on, let's both go up to bed, huh? I can look at all this tomorrow." Rae carefully stood up, keeping Eliana close against her, and they left the room together. One handed she set the alarm and then climbed the stairs, by the time they were at the top the little girl was asleep in her mother's arms and Rae laid her back into her own small bed and kissed her gently on the forehead. Eliana stirred slightly, but didn't open her eyes, and relieved Rae moved over to the crib on the other side of the room. Anneya still looked a bit flushed, and had kicked all her covers off. Rae slid her hand through one of the bars and placed the back of it on her youngest child's forehead. She didn't think that Anneya was any warmer than she had been at bedtime, but she left the covers where they were, knowing that if the little girl became chilled she would either pull them up herself, or call out for someone to do it for her.
> 
> The sheets on Rae's bed were cold and creased, she needed to change them, but she didn't have the time to even tidy the covers when she woke in the mornings. Although she hated to admit it, Rae had a feeling that she may have to get herself a cleaner, or even a housekeeper, but she wasn't in the right frame of mind to begin thinking about that right now. Rae stripped off her clothes, pulled on a t-shirt that Jesse had left behind and climbed into bed. She closed her eyes, and let her mind run back to the scene behind Neil Crosier's house when she had seen the glint of metal, pulled at the burning wreckage of the garage and found her husband, only just alive, beneath it all. He had known she would find him, had told her so, but now he couldn't bear to be with her, not even in the same house, and she didn't have a clue as to why. Gradually her thoughts began to run into each other and, as the clock beside her clicked onto eleven o'clock, she let the day go and fell asleep.
> 
> Rae worked at home for the Tuesday and the Wednesday, not wanting to leave her youngest daughter with Sally when she was under the weather and feeling weepy. She had been to see Alex first thing on the Tuesday and he had diagnosed a cold and recommended a few days at home with plenty of fluids and some infant Tylenol to keep any fever at bay. Eliana had been bouncy and cheerful though, and so each day Rae had taken her to pre-school waving her off at the door so that she didn't take any more germs than necessary in with her.
> 
> Steve had come to see Rae just after ten on the Tuesday morning, which was an hour before they were both due to start work, and they had sat and discussed the new developments in the Masters case, and how to deal with them.
> 
> _"You know, there's no reason to think that he is the father." Steve had taken a mouthful of hot coffee as he finished speaking, and then he looked back across at his partner._
> 
> _"No, I know that, but there is no reason to think he isn't either. I guess __Elizabeth__ could have had an affair before they left __London__, but he didn't say anything about it to me, and I got the feeling that he told me everything, or everything that he could." Rae remembered the day very clearly when John Masters had finally admitted that Elizabeth was his wife, not his sister, and how their life together had crumbled upon the death of their two young children. She was sure that if there had been a third party involved he would have mentioned it and she was absolutely certain that if he had known about another child she would know too. "And she was, according to the nosey neighbour, alone until the Chief came back into her life."_
> 
> _"So, what do we do about it? I can get an education record, social security number, that sort of thing, we can find this guy, but what if he has no idea that he is adopted?"_
> 
> _"I don't buy that. I think __Elizabeth__ knew not only who he was but where he was, she left him $100,000.00 in the will we just found, which is a lot of money to have sitting in a bank vault because no one knows where to send it." Rae felt the despondency which had been her constant companion overnight leave her as she and her partner got down to business._
> 
> _"So why wasn't there a name and address for him in with all her private papers then?" Steve had leafed through the paperwork on the table in Rae's breakfast room until he found the current will. "There is nothing here to show that she knew anything about him other than she called him John Masters Junior."_
> 
> _"And that is the final evidence, as far as I'm concerned to prove he was the Chief's son." Rae flicked through the notes she had made until she found what she wanted. "There's a safety deposit box at the National Provident branch in Bel Air, I'm betting that all the information we need is there."_
> 
> _"So why didn't you tell me that right away? We need to move on this, I want it out of the way." Steve's voice showed the frustration he felt._
> 
> _"Steve, I'm sorry, I have so much in my mind right now, that I forgot all about it until you said no name and address."_
> 
> Anneya had begun to cry then, and Rae had left the room, hoping to get to her before the cries became too insistent to stop, but she hadn't done so, and the rest of their discussion had been done with the little girl clinging to her mommy, and occasionally rubbing her fist against her ear. Rae had known it would take a while to calm her daughter down and so Steve had gone to find himself a friendly judge and the quickest route to Bel Air.
> 
> Now it was Thursday, and Rae had had no choice but leave her daughter with Sally so that she could attend morning roll call and then she and Steve had an appointment with the Chief of Police that she would much prefer to miss.
> 
> Steve preceded her into the room, which was already filled with the patrol officers who would soon be taking to their cars and bikes to protect the people of Los Angeles, or those in their little part of it.
> 
> The roll call had been underway for a while, and Rae and Steve were the last two officers to give out information. They had managed, so far, to keep the murder of Elizabeth Masters to themselves, but after their discussion with Ron they were going far more public with the red rose killings than they had until now.
> 
> "Good morning ladies and gentlemen," Steve stepped up to the small podium and placed his folder down on it. Rae put a map up on the board behind him which they had marked out with all the relevant information. "Our killer struck again late Saturday night, early Sunday morning and, as you know, it was his third strike, so we have a serial killer on our hands." Steve paused for a moment; no one liked serial killers, and the difference between having two victims and three was huge, not only in the amount of work it created, but psychologically. Everyone would want to get this guy, and until they did the atmosphere would be grim. "There will be increased publicity on this case, newspaper articles, press conferences, so expect to be approached by members of the public, and if you are it is imperative that you get across to them that we're closing in on our killer, and have every confidence that we will catch him." Steve turned to Rae as he finished speaking, indicating that she could take over if she wished.
> 
> "There'll be details of a profile that we have made up with the help of the FBI on the computer, and notice boards in all squad rooms. You need to be aware that this guy may well make contact with you himself. He will need to know, desperately, what we have on him, and just how close we are. So, anyone who fits the general description that was gained from the video film from the drug store after the second killing, who asks about this case, we need to hear about it as soon as it happens. This guy, Dominic, is dangerous, and his last kill didn't go according to plan; that worries me, I mean really worries me, we need to be on our guard, and if any of you see anything, however small, that rings alarm bells, well you know what to do… Yes?"
> 
> A young policewoman sitting in the front row put her hand up. She was tall, slim and blonde, just the sort of woman that Dominic would like, if his MO and signature were to be believed, and Rae did believe them, implicitly. "When you say it didn't go according to plan what do you mean?"
> 
> "If you look at the available paperwork on this, the first two cases were very similar, but the third young woman had blunt force trauma injuries as well as stab wounds. We have no evidence of that apart from this last time. Also, it appears that the killer went back to her place, and we know he definitely didn't do that before either."
> 
> "Ok, thanks." The officer smiled and Rae smiled back, she couldn't help but look at every young blonde woman she saw and wonder whether they would be the next victim. Another cop put his hand up and Rae nodded at him.
> 
> "When you say that you're worried about the fact that he changed his MO, do you mean that you think he'll change it every time and we won't know it's still him or something else?"
> 
> "No, I don't think he'll change it completely, it shows he can alter things on the spur of the moment and still kill, which means that he is organised and in charge of the situation. However, I think that he wants to have the same, or a very similar routine each time, and the deviations this time may mean that he kills again really soon."
> 
> "And how do you know that he was at the victim's apartment?" Another voice rang out and Rae was heartened by the interest they were taking.
> 
> "She had a cat, well, a kitten really, not very old, and it had been slaughtered. Also, and I guess this is just instinct, but there is something about the apartment that is wrong, it's too tidy, like a holiday let. I think he did that, but I have no proof." Rae waited, but this time the room remained quiet until Steve began to speak again.
> 
> "We're going back to the nightclub tonight that we believe the first victim was picked up from on a Thursday evening two weeks ago. It might lead to nothing, but it might give us more to go on, right now anything that anyone has on the guys they see on their beat, anyone who they know to be acting out of character, well, if we're honest, unless he makes a mistake, personal knowledge could be the only way we are going to get him."
> 
> Steve and Rae answered some general questions from a few patrol officers and pointed out the murder sites on the map before returning to their own desks to pick up the information that they had to give to Chief Masters. They discussed the best way to handle the sensitive meeting and then Rae made her way, alone, to see her boss, knowing that Steve would follow ten minutes later.
> 
> "Good morning, Detective Yeager, how are you today?" Chief Masters stood as his officer entered the room and smiled one of his rare smiles.
> 
> "I'm good, thank you, Sir, and you?"
> 
> "I'm fine, Rae, and I appreciate you taking the time to see me, although you do appear to be missing someone." The Chief sat back down as soon as Rae had made herself comfortable in the indicated chair.
> 
> "Lieutenant Sloan will be along shortly, Sir, but we have personal information, and we both felt that you may be a little more at ease talking with just me."
> 
> "I see," the room seemed to take on a distinctly chilly air, "you had better carry on then, Detective." And Rae didn't miss the way her boss had returned to using her rank.
> 
> "Sir, when you and your wife separated in 1967 she was pregnant." Rae knew that the man in front of her wouldn't appreciate her prevaricating, and she was relieved to get the information out into the open.
> 
> "And you obviously have concrete evidence of this?"
> 
> "Yes, Sir, I have the original birth certificate, along with letters written through the years showing that your wife, although not involved in the upbringing of your son, either financially or personally, never forgot about him." The information from the bank deposit box had proved interesting but hadn't helped them solve the case.
> 
> "Detective I would appreciate it if you could leave me all you have discovered and I will request your return in thirty minutes." It was apparent to Rae that although the words were politely spoken they were in fact an order.
> 
> "Very good, Sir." Rae left the room and almost collided with Steve in the secretary's office in the process. "Half an hour, then we come back."
> 
> "Coffee and a Danish?"
> 
> "Sounds good to me." Rae smiled, she needed the friendly banter, the relaxed way in which she and Steve could act together, right now she needed it more than ever.
> 
> The address for John Masters Junior was in Santa Barbara, about ten minutes from where Elizabeth Masters had lived. Knowing that it was a four hour round trip Steve put a call through to the local police department while they ate their mid morning snack and asked them to run surveillance and send back any relevant information before they made the journey out to see him.
> 
> It appeared that John Masters Junior had a few traffic violations outstanding, and so, understanding that he could be considered a prime suspect in the murder of his birth mother, it was decided that contact would be made that way.
> 
> The rest of the day had been spent speaking with friends of Nadine Browton on the telephone, before finally, a little after two in the afternoon, returning to see the Chief to continue the discussion Rae had begun earlier in the day.
> 
> The Chief had been reluctant to speak with Steve, and although he understood, he still felt more than a little annoyed that he had been summarily dismissed almost before he had sat down.
> 
> "Lieutenant, I would be grateful if you could find me the up to date information on the killings you have called the Red Rose murders, it is a very disturbing case and I would like to update myself."
> 
> "Yes, Sir. Would you like me to bring them back to you right away, or wait until Detective Yeager returns to the squad room?"
> 
> "Yes, yes, that would be preferable; I will read them through later in the day."
> 
> Rae had watched the retreating form of her partner and she could tell from his body language that he was not happy. However, she wasn't happy either, and wished that he had been able to stay.
> 
> "Detective, I appreciate your leaving me alone this morning, and I have to apologise for the delay. I have read through all the information, as well as making certain enquiries myself. It would appear that for the past thirty-three years I have had a child I knew nothing about. I also know that you will consider him to be the main suspect in the murder of my wife, so it would also appear that I will have little or no chance to become acquainted with him."
> 
> Rae felt a deep compassion for the man sitting across the desk from her. She had been blessed with two families, five children, all of whom she loved dearly. The memory of Eliana's abduction was one she couldn't visit, and the prospect of losing any of them again, even for a moment was unthinkable, to face the prospect of losing all of them, unimaginable.
> 
> "We've been onto the Santa Barbara Police Department and they're going to make enquiries and speak with your son. Sir, at this time we have no reason to believe that he killed your wife." Rae tried a smile but she could tell that although appreciative her boss was not convinced.
> 
> "Statistically he is the most likely suspect, and I will have to come to terms with that at the same time as I try to accept that he exists at all… I have been thinking back, back to when we were getting ready to leave London. We knew that once we arrived here we would go our separate ways and, well, we spent one last night together as man and wife before flying to Los Angeles. I don't think I had given it any further consideration since then, and certainly not in the way that it warranted … Why didn't she tell me?"
> 
> Rae didn't have an answer to that, although she appreciated his frankness. She had wondered about it, tried to put herself in the same position as Elizabeth Masters, and she knew that if she found herself pregnant even now, when she was so unsure of Jesse and his responses to her, she would have to tell him as soon as she knew herself.
> 
> "Detective, I know that you have an assignment tonight, so I will dismiss you now. Please be assured that I too will be in contact with the SBPD to find out all the relevant information."
> 
> "With all due respect, Sir, I would rather that you didn't do that." Rae looked directly into the face of her superior officer as she spoke.
> 
> "I beg your pardon, are you implying that I may have something to do with this case, Detective?"
> 
> "No, Sir … we verified your alibi when we found out who the victim was," Rae knew that her boss would know they would have to do that, but it was still quite an admission for her to make, "if you weren't in the position you are, you wouldn't be able to check on our progress. Sir, we have worked with you before, you know you can trust us to bring everything necessary to your attention at the earliest possible opportunity. But we should be the ones doing the digging, not you."
> 
> "Detective Yeager, I have the highest regard for you and Lieutenant Sloan, but you are overstepping your bounds here."
> 
> "No, Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm not, and if you try, however difficult it may be, to look at this rationally, you will realise that you need to step back and let Steve and me do our jobs."
> 
> "Detective …" The Chief's tone got even sterner, but Rae stood her ground.
> 
> "Sir, if your son did indeed murder his mother then you need to keep well away from him and any information pertaining to him. If he didn't, you will have plenty of time to get to know him when we have cleared his name, but not before."
> 
> The Chief of Police lowered his eyes, and Rae felt her heart begin to beat again. "Detective, I apologise, I was out of order, but I will give you a week, after that expect me to be breathing heavily down your neck, is that understood?"
> 
> "Yes, Sir, definitely."
> 
> "Good, you are dismissed."
> 
> Rae beat a hasty exit back to the safety of her desk, and suggested to Steve that he get a patrolman to take the red rose information up to their boss.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Jesse had been unable to unburden himself with Mark although over the course of the week both of them had tried numerous times to get a conversation started. The news about Nadine had shocked Jesse, and he could feel his fear and anxiety rising each time he thought about the personable young woman who had helped so well in his restaurant.
> 
> After Mark told him what had happened Jesse had retreated to the beach, needing to try to put his thoughts in some kind of order. He had been there for an indeterminate amount of time when he had been aware of someone standing just behind him and he had turned to find Steve smiling down at him.
> 
> _"Hey, Jess, I didn't want to disturb you, but I need to ask you some questions." Steve had indicated the sand with his hand and Jesse had nodded agreement to his friend sitting down._
> 
> _"What about?"__ He had felt his heart beat a little faster, but the fear he had felt when thinking about his best friend didn't seem to be present._
> 
> _"You know about Nadine, right?"_
> 
> _"Yeah, your dad told me. What happened, Steve, do you have any idea who killed her?" Jesse clenched his fists around handfuls of sand, sometimes he wished he wasn't so close to all the violent things that happened in LA._
> 
> _"In a way.__ We have a serial killer, he leaves red roses under the hand of his victims, at least he has the last two. He stabs them to death, Jesse, he is a very dangerous man, and he targets young blonde women, I'm sorry."_
> 
> _"Me too."__ Jesse paused, he needed to speak first, before Steve started giving him information about the case. "Steve, I know we need to talk about that some more but can I say something?"_
> 
> _Steve, Jesse could see, was a little unsure about what was coming, and so, taking all his courage literally between both hands, he reached out and touched him._
> 
> _"Jess?"_
> 
> _"Steve, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk, for … for almost killing you, for everything. I don't know what else to say. I don't even know if tomorrow I'll be able to talk to you at all, I'm sorry."_
> 
> _"Jesse, don't, you have no need to apologise to me, I know you're suffering right now, I wish I could help, you were scared, your aim was lousy and it's ok."_
> 
> _Jesse smiled, the friendship between them was so strong that he had known, almost certainly, that it would survive what had happened, but to hear it filled his heart with such a glad feeling that his whole being seemed to blossom._
> 
> They had talked for a long time, Jesse still hadn't been able to bring himself to let Steve into his problems, but apart from that it had been almost like old times.
> 
> Jesse knew that his condition had improved, at little at least, but he also knew that unless he could open up to Lauren, let her discover what it was that was driving him on a course that was shutting out his family, he wouldn't get any better than he was now. He hadn't spoken with his wife or seen his children since the day he had told Rae he wanted a divorce, but today they were coming over to see him, to stay the night because Rae and Steve were working late, going to a club where the first of the victims of the killer who had taken Nadine's life had spent her last evening hoping to find clues or witnesses to help them on their way.
> 
> He had been for a walk to the gas station across the street when he got home from work and bought some crayons and paper so that the girls had things to do. Mark had plenty of children's stuff that he used when CJ and Dion came over and Jesse knew that they wouldn't get bored. He would spend the evening with them and then drop Eliana at pre-school in the morning and Anneya at Sally's. Rae had told him that she was under the weather with a cold, but he was a doctor so he knew she wasn't worried about their daughter being poorly while she was away from her mom.
> 
> The bell rang as he contemplated how the evening would go and he moved out into the hallway and saw two beautiful faces shining at him through the glass of the door.
> 
> "Daddy, Daddy!" Eliana was almost beside herself, she waved a picture in her hand back and forwards as she called out, and suddenly the door was open and she was in his arms.
> 
> "Oh, Sweetie, hi, how are you?" Jesse felt his throat constrict as he held her, felt the love inside of him well up and almost overwhelm him and he closed his eyes for a moment as he gathered himself together.
> 
> "Aii, Dada, aii." The second little voice was there too, and he felt the softness of Anneya's skin against his hand as he stroked her cheek and then hugged her too.
> 
> "Mommy, Mommy, it's your turn, Daddy kiss you now." Eliana was tugging at her mom's sleeve, and Rae, who had stayed just outside the door, felt herself being pulled inside.
> 
> "Honey, Mummy has to go, I'll talk to Daddy again, ok?" Rae would have loved a hug and a kiss, or either of them would have been nice, but she had seen the panic flare as her daughter spoke, and she knew that she wouldn't be lucky, not this time.
> 
> "Jess, Anneya has medication in the bag, they haven't had any tea, but I gave them a quick sandwich before I left Oak Place. Honey, I really have to go, I'll call the hospital in the morning, see how much fun you had."
> 
> "Sure, bye, Rae." Jesse dismissed her without looking in her direction once. He had his daughters with him and felt totally at peace, but if he saw her, knew that she was in the house with him then that would be destroyed, and he couldn't allow that to happen.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The nightclub was loud, busy and made Rae and Steve feel old. They hadn't tried to look young and trendy, and agreed that it was just as well. Steve had a dark silver grey suit on, with a lighter grey shirt and black tie, while Rae was wearing a short black dress with no sleeves and a square neckline. They stood together at the bar and tried not to look like cops.
> 
> One query had already been answered, on the back of Rae and Steve's left hands' were red stamps in the shape of a rose. Jenna had been the only victim without a flower, but now Rae knew that part of the MO had been picked up by what had happened first time around.
> 
> He saw them as they came in through the door, and he smiled to himself. They thought they were so clever, leaving it a little while before coming to the club, hoping to find out information that might lead to his capture, well there was no chance of that. In fact, he might even ask her to dance, that could be interesting, and he knew she wouldn't recognise him, wouldn't know that she was in the arms of a notorious killer, not until it was too late.
> 
> She wasn't his type, but it would be fun, fun to touch her, hold her, take her picture, he might even send it to her, yes, he would send it to her or him, that would be even better. It was all that Dominic could do to stop himself from laughing out loud, and then, the decision made, he stood up, ran his fingers through his, for tonight at least, short black hair and made his way towards the bar.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> "Daddy, Miss Amy says germs are on apps if you don't wass them."
> 
> Jesse had to admit to being a little bit fed up with Miss Amy; so far she had been responsible for him taking their shoes off and leaving them by the door. For washing the table down before putting the mats out for dinner, he'd had to make a second set of sandwiches because crusts were good for your teeth, and now an apple which he had washed only about an hour before when he put it on the dish needed to be done again.
> 
> "I will go run it under the faucet then, can you keep an eye on Anneya for a minute?"
> 
> "Ess, Daddy." Eliana smiled and moved a little closer to her sister. She sat and watched as the little girl drew a large continuous circle with a red crayon and then when it was certain that Anneya was finished Eliana picked up the piece of paper and began to talk.
> 
> "This a vewy nice one, I fink I put it ton the wall. Well done." Eliana then beamed at her sister and Jesse, watching from the kitchen, had to turn away for a minute and compose himself.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Rae had just finished her mineral water when she felt herself being nudged from behind and turned to find a slim, good looking, dark haired man looking apologetic next to her.
> 
> "I am so sorry, did I hurt you?"
> 
> "No, not at all, don't worry about it." Rae smiled to show that she wasn't bothered by what had happened.
> 
> "I know this sounds real corny, but I come in here a lot, and I don't think I've seen you here before." Daniel flashed a smile in the cop's direction and noticed that her male companion had backed off a little bit.
> 
> "No, I don't, is it a good place? It sure seems popular." Rae looked around, and could see that what she said was true, there were a lot of people in the place now, and she imagined that it would have been as busy the night Jenna came.
> 
> "Yeah, it is. I come mostly Friday or Thursday nights, and it's always busy. But I can normally get a table and people watch."
> 
> "I like to do that too. Curiosity, I know what it did to the cat, but I just love to watch how people behave, not just in a place like this, but anywhere." Rae wondered whether she had gone too far; she didn't want to scare this guy off, but maybe she could get some information without sounding too much like a cop.
> 
> "You know there are some wonderful sights out on the floor, could I interest you in a brief visit?"
> 
> "Are you asking me to dance? I don't even know your name."
> 
> "I am." He flashed a dazzling smile, "Nic, my name is Nic, and yours?"
> 
> "Rae, and yes, I'd love to dance." Rae glanced back at her partner as she followed the young man towards the middle of the club and saw that he was talking with one of the barmen. Smiling, she decided that while she was here she may as well enjoy herself. Nick seemed ok and one dance certainly couldn't hurt.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> Friday morning dawned clear and bright if a little cold. It was due to warm up as the day progressed but as three very nervous people waited for their breakfast to be served the chill of the air seemed to seep through to their hearts and settle there.
> 
> Michael had returned to the Sloan household the evening before, and the crates from the attic in Texas were due to arrive that evening and be placed into semi permanent storage while Jo decided what to do with them all. The boxes which had been locked away in the far end of the attic were now in one of the unused rooms in the roof of her house and once the day was over Jo knew that she would be able to concentrate on what had been locked away for so long.
> 
> The caseworker for Daniel had been changed after the debacle while Jo was being held by Don Werner and was now a young woman called Marjory Deco who they all found very personable and extremely knowledgeable.
> 
> Although Steve, Jo and Daniel knew that the court case was just a formality they had to present their case to the judge and that was a scary thought. Steve went to court regularly, but not to the family court, and so he knew that he would not have dealt with the officials he would meet today before.
> 
> By ten o'clock though the waiting was over, and nervous or not the three of them sat with Mark, Michael, Amanda, Jesse, Alex and Shannon in the public seats behind them. Judge Ameco was in her early sixties and although her face was set almost as rigidly as her hair her eyes twinkled and she somehow seemed human.
> 
> There had been no objections to the adoption from social services, and as all parental rights had already been removed the formalities were almost over when Judge Ameco looked at Daniel and finally smiled. "Young man, you have the right to speak, do you wish to say anything?"
> 
> "Yes, please, Ma'am, Your Honour." Daniel knew that he would be able to state his case, and even though he had been confident of the outcome he had still come prepared. Carefully taking a piece of paper, that neither his mom nor dad had seen before, out of his pocket he began to speak.
> 
> "When I was fourteen years old I robbed a grocery store. It's not something I'm proud of, and I have never done anything like it ever again, but I was on a fast track to trouble, and probably jail. Now though I'm getting good grades in school, I've been recommended for a class trip in the spring because I work hard and … and I would like to be a doctor." Daniel watched his grandfather turn to Jesse as the two men smiled at him and saw the look of delight on Alex's face. "None of that would have happened if it hadn't been for three people; my friend Alex and my new mom and dad. Alex came and saw me in juvie, even though he was in the store when I robbed it, even though my cousin attacked his girlfriend, even though he didn't have to and then he asked Steve and Jo to foster me."
> 
> Daniel stopped talking for a moment and looked at the three people he had mentioned by name. "Once that happened and I got a real family I had others who were looking out for me, my Grandpa Mark, my mom's butler, Michael, Dad's best friend, Jesse. Ma'am, I've had my life turned around for me, I want everyone to know how grateful I am, and that I will never ever be able to express fully what they've done for me, but I love them all, but better than that, I know they love me." Daniel wasn't sure what else to say and so, a little embarrassed, he sat down and carefully and meticulously folded up his piece of paper, again and again and again.
> 
> **. . . . . . . . . .**
> 
> The papers, which had been in the safety deposit box at National Provident in Bel Air, were once again on the desk in front of her, and Rae was silently reading through the letters Elizabeth Kagan-Masters had written and kept hidden, some of them for thirty-three years, for about the third time when the phone rang and her hand reached out instinctively to answer it. "Detective Yeager… Hi, Sally, what's wrong?" She didn't know why but Rae was convinced that the call wasn't social. "Oh bless, I'll come get her … and I'll take Eliana too, it's not a problem … yeah, about an hour I would guess … thank you, Sally, bye."
> 
> As Steve wasn't working at all that day Rae made her way towards Captain Newman's door and knocked quietly. "Yes, Detective, what can I do for you?"
> 
> "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but my child carer just called, my youngest daughter is being sick over and over, I need to go get her and take her home."
> 
> "I see, I guess that means that you won't be in tomorrow, either?" The look on the Captain's face was one of concern and Rae was relieved that he wasn't angry with her.
> 
> "Probably not, but I'll take home the copies of the letters, and everything else we have on the Masters case, that way I can go over it all tomorrow. Anneya is bound to sleep for some of the time, and I can work then. She's had a cold all week, so I'm sure it's just something to do with that."
> 
> Newman nodded and Rae left his office, collected up her things, put them in a folder, grabbed her jacket and purse and, with a wave of her hand, hurried out to collect her children.
> 
> Rae had called Alex from her car and as he had been on his way back to work from the courthouse he had said he would come to the house and check Anneya over. He prescribed antibiotics for an ear infection, which, he said, he would have sent over later in the day. He had kissed the little girl gently on the forehead and suggested to Rae that she keep her in her room with her at night, and dose her up with infant Tylenol and plenty of fluids.
> 
> Anneya had slept on and off all afternoon and Rae had read through over half her paperwork and made copious notes. By seven in the evening Eliana was in bed and by ten Rae was ready to go too. She made her daughter comfortable beside her in the double bed and for a while she just watched her as she thought sadly about all that Jesse was missing.
> 
> The Saturday had dawned with the promise of a fine sunny day and Rae had been surprised to find that both she and Anneya had slept quite well together. Rae tried to rid herself of the black cloud which seemed to follow her about constantly as she tried to organise children, laundry, grocery shopping as well as listening intently for the phone, hoping that Jesse would call.
> 
> Breakfast had been a difficult affair, Eliana was full of chat about nothing in particular, and Anneya, even with a full night's sleep had been fractious and tearful. Rae gave her the medicine Alex had sent over and settled her in the playroom with a few favourite toys and a cartoon channel on the TV. At a little after ten in the morning, when her arms were full of clean but wet clothes Rae heard a sound which made her drop everything and rush into the hallway.
> 
> The sound had been a succession of bumps, which were followed by a second of deadly silence and then the sound of a child crying uncontrollably.
> 
> The child was Eliana, but she wasn't hurt in any way, she was however, scared and shocked. It was Anneya who was hurt, but worryingly she made no sound at all. There was blood underneath her head where she had landed, and halfway up the staircase was a large rag doll which she had presumably dropped as she fell down at least ten stairs.
> 
> For a moment Rae was totally stunned, she stood and looked at the scene before her, but then she shook herself and moved to the phone, picking up the receiver and pressing the buttons for 911 in almost a single action.
> 
> "I … I need an ambulance … Oak Place, North Crescent Drive, Beverly Hills … my little girl, she's fallen down the stairs. No … no I didn't, no … she's not … yes, I know how to do that … thank you … No, I need to be with her, I have to go." Rae put the phone down, the operator had wanted her to stay on the line, but if she did that she couldn't be with Anneya or Eliana, and they both needed her.
> 
> "Momma, hug Neya, Neya hurt." Eliana moved towards her sister, galvanised by her mother's words on the phone.
> 
> "No, Honey, we have to leave her, we mustn't touch." Rae took Eliana in her arms and then together they crouched down by the side of the small, unconscious child and, after Rae felt for and found a faint pulse, they waited together for the paramedics.
> 
> The next few hours raced by at a crawl for Rae, she knew that she kept up with everything that was going on, but she couldn't have dealt with anything other than one thing at a time.
> 
> Rae had suddenly realised, as she sat comforting one child and speaking softly to the other, that her cell phone was in her pocket and she had called through to make sure that Alex was on duty. She had also tried Jesse without success.
> 
> Alex, who had been at home, told Rae that he would meet her at Community General, and then he rushed upstairs, told Mark and the two of them had raced to the hospital together. The ambulance arrived at the same time as they did, and Rae, almost dragging Eliana by the hand, had run alongside the gurney as it was taken into the ER. Mark took one look at the elder child and put a call through to Steve and Jo who instantly agreed to come and get Eliana and take her home with them. He desperately wanted to be with his Goddaughter, but he knew that Alex would give her the finest care, and so, gently taking Rae's hand from her daughter's, he directed her into the trauma suite with Anneya and then made a dime appear from Eliana's ear.
> 
> Rae looked at her little girl, who looked even smaller than usual on the adult sized bed. X-rays had been taken to make sure that there was no spinal injury, and Rae was relieved to see that the neck support and backboard had been removed. She could see one nurse taking Anneya's temperature while another was dealing with her pulse and breathing. "The patient has an elevated temperature, Doctor."
> 
> There was an oxygen clip on her finger and Rae could see the figures as they flashed up on the screen above her daughter's head.
> 
> "She has been suffering with an ear infection, and is on medication." Alex didn't turn away from the light box where he was looking at a picture of the skull. With a deep sigh he finally moved towards the gurney and bent over his patient. "Anneya, Honey, can you hear me? Sweetie it's Uncle Alex, come on, look at me, Anneya, ANNEYA!" Alex took her hand and pinched the fingertip, but apart from a slight movement of the hand his little patient lay totally unresponsive.
> 
> "Ok, given her recent history, I'm happy with her temperature; I want a CAT scan STAT, get on to PICU and tell them that they have a patient coming up with severe head trauma. Rae, do you know what happened?"
> 
> "What … sorry?" Rae had been watching the face of her youngest child; she seemed so at peace that she was even more worried than she had been.
> 
> "What happened to her?" Alex moved across, instantly concerned about his friend.
> 
> "She fell down the stairs, Alex, onto the tiles at the bottom … there was blood on the floor … I didn't see it … she was alone." Rae looked up, the guilt which had been under the surface since the accident rushing up to try to overwhelm her.
> 
> "And she didn't regain consciousness at all while you waited for the ambulance?"
> 
> "No, there was nothing, she didn't move, or make any sound." Rae's eyes filled with tears, and for a moment she looked away. One of the nurses, receiving a nod from Alex, gently led her to a chair.
> 
> "Right, Nurse, find out if Doctor Lee is working today, if not page him, I want him to be prepared to operate on Anneya if necessary."
> 
> "No, Alex, it's just a bump … I … I'm sorry." Rae couldn't help but interrupt, and her face showed her horror. Alex stopped speaking and looked to the nurse assisting him then, happy that she would carry out his instructions in his absence; he moved over to the chair that Rae was sitting on in the corner of the trauma suite, indicated to the nurse by her side that she should return to Anneya and crouched down and took her hand.
> 
> "Rae, she is very ill, very suddenly. The trauma is to the brain, the x-rays show that she has bleeding and swelling and it will need to be dealt with. I can't do that, Doctor Lee can, but if he decides that she needs an op, we can't waste time, so I need the permission now." Rae had turned her head, and Alex found he was waiting for her to look at him again.
> 
> "But she is so young and it is so dangerous, when I was attacked, I didn't have an operation, I don't understand why you think you need to do it."
> 
> "Rae, do you trust me?" Alex gently turned Rae's face so that they were looking into each other's eyes.
> 
> "Yes, you know I do."
> 
> "Then let me do this. I wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't necessary. The scans won't hurt her, but I need to get them done right now so that I can get her admitted to the PICU and we can begin monitoring her condition. Speed is of the essence here, just as it was with you, but, Honey, you were very lucky, I want Anneya to share in that luck, ok?"
> 
> "Ok." Rae didn't have the energy to say anything else.
> 
> Alex returned to his patient and checked the monitors, as he did so the door to the trauma suite opened.
> 
> "The imaging suite won't be free for another hour, Doctor."
> 
> "Dammit, let me speak to them." Alex picked up the phone in the room and punched a couple of buttons. "This is Doctor Alex Martin in Trauma Three … Yes, she told me that, but I have a child of fourteen months, she has a serious head trauma, a very low GSC, there is no response to stimuli and I want her scanned now … that's better, we'll be right up." Alex put the phone down and looked back at his nurses. "Let's move. Rae, I'll find you, ok?"
> 
> Rae had risen to her feet when Alex had raised his voice, but now she was unable to move, his words reverberating around in her mind.
> 
> "Mrs Travis, you can go to the waiting room, or you can go to the doctor's lounge." Rae just nodded; she didn't really know where she wanted to be.
> 
> The young woman, who Rae saw was called Nurse Parc, steered Rae towards the hallway. As they got there they heard the ping of the elevator and saw the doors close around the small figure of Anneya, being talked to all the time by Alex, and suddenly Rae realised that the one place she did want to be she was unable to go and so instead she watched the numbers change on the elevator display as it took her daughter away from her.


	19. The Day the World Stopped

**Chapter Nineteen – The Day the World Stopped**

The pictures he had taken were spread out before him, sixteen of them that were actually useable and eight that he would have the pleasure of setting light to in a few moments.

"Lieutenant Steve Sloan," the name fell from his tongue with such hatred, such vehemence that he surprised even himself, "supposed to be one of LA's finest, you didn't even know how much danger your partner was in did you?"  He picked up a photo and looked at it. The tall dark haired cop was talking to a young blonde woman, short hair, a bit on the plump side, _hah,__ she had never been in any danger!_ "You play me for a fool, Lieutenant Sloan, and that is a very dangerous thing to do." Suddenly he ripped the picture in half, and then in half again and again before throwing the resulting confetti up into the air and watching as it fell to earth.

He wished he had a picture of him dancing with the British woman, not to show anyone, but just for him. He didn't think he had ever danced with a cop before, her hair had been really pretty, he had wanted to reach out, to touch it, but that would have been too dangerous. Shame it was brown, lucky for her, but a shame nonetheless. He picked up a photo that he was really pleased with; the two cops, conferring together, their heads almost touching, completely unaware that the watchers were being watched. That was the one, he would send that. Nothing else, just the photo, he knew it would freak them out, and if he was lucky he might even get to know the results.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Rae had watched her daughter disappear and cursed her inactivity. She wanted to be in the elevator not standing doing nothing. She had known that Anneya's injury could be serious, but when Alex had shouted, and then insisted he be able to use the Imaging Suite immediately the reality of the situation had hit her, hard, and she had been unable to function for a little while.

Rae had always left the medical side of things to Jesse, but she knew that a serious head injury could result in all sorts of problems. The trauma could cause blindness, deafness, epilepsy, death. _Stop it! Don't think like that!_ Children were resilient, her daughter would be fine, she had to be.

"Ma'am, where do you want to be?" Nurse Parc's question broke into her thoughts and Rae pushed them away.

"The doctors' lounge, I'll go there. Thank you." Without another word Rae turned and made her way to the familiar security of the small room, knowing that even if it were occupied most staff knew who she was and wouldn't mind her being there. Jesse didn't answer his cell phone and so she left a message, trying not to sound as panicked as she felt, but letting him know that his place was with her right now, however much he may dislike her. Then she called Steve, let him know all that she knew and she tried Jesse once more before putting her phone away again. After that Rae had no idea what else to do and so she sat, exhausted but totally wired, and waited for someone to come and get her.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Jesse sat in his car, the wind blowing through his hair as he watched the sun come up and he sighed a deeply contented sigh. He had been meaning to just drive along PCH for the longest time, and when he realised that he had Friday afternoon and all day Saturday to himself he had decided to throw a couple of pairs of jeans and tops into a bag and head out of the city. He had left a note for Mark on the dining table, he knew it wasn't very detailed, but as he had no idea where he was going or what he was going to do he had just assured him that he was fine and would be back on the Saturday evening in time for his shift on Sunday.

The motel he had stayed in overnight had been pleasant, and the pre-packed breakfast he ate as he sat in his car was just right for the situation. Jesse felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out; the name Rae seemed to shout out at him and threw it down onto the seat beside him and put his jacket over it. He couldn't have her invade his space, not this weekend, not here or now. Jesse thought for a moment, he guessed that she was calling to find out how the girls had got on with him Thursday night. He knew that she was off today, that her shifts had been altered a little so that she could spend the weekends at home, even if she was working, so that Sally didn't have to be imposed upon.

As a gull swooped nearby Jesse realised that as long as he didn't have to actually face her, or talk to her, he could think about Rae quite rationally. The smile that crossed his face, although he didn't realise it, was the beginning of a process, a process that would be hard and long, but would eventually take him back to all the places he wished he'd never left.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Mark had watched Eliana go off with her 'Unki Teve' and then made his way back to the ER with every intention of keeping an eye on Rae and taking her to his office where she could wait in some privacy for whatever news Alex brought back. Things hadn't worked that way though, and he had been waylaid as he entered the hallway to deal with a three year old boy who had fallen out of his bunk bed and not only broken his wrist but his ankle too.

Once again he had made pennies appear from ears, from Mitchell's mom's hand, even from the roll of plaster which he had been soaking ready to put on the little pale ankle. The child's mother was a nurse at Mercy Hospital, and so Mark was happy to discharge the little boy into her care. Once he had done that Mark discovered that it had been over ninety minutes since Eliana had left the hospital and, leaving a message at the nurses' station that he wasn't to be called except in a dire emergency, he went in search of Rae.

Rae had left two more messages on Jesse's phone, and one on the answer service at the beach house. She had called Sally to tell her what had happened, and she had refused her offer to come and sit with her. Right now she wasn't sure if she could deal with it. Rae thought of her own mother, Tony, her other children, Jesse's parents, she couldn't believe that there were so many people who would need to be contacted, but as she had so little information she decided it would be better to wait a while. There was nothing else to do except pace the floor, and so she did that instead.

"Rae?" Mark spoke quietly, not wanting to scare her, and he was shocked at the haunted look she gave him as she raised her head.

"Mark, have you heard anything? Alex said he would come get me, but it's been ages, and I can't get Jesse … and …" Rae was suddenly aware of the two other people in the room with her; doctors who she knew by sight but not name.

"Rae, come with me, we can go to my office, and I'll page Alex to let him know you're there, ok?" Mark watched as she nodded her head and then he slipped an arm around her as she left the room. They had just got to the door of Mark's office, stopping only to let the nurse on duty in ER know where they were going, when Rae heard her name and turned to see Alex coming towards her. Suddenly she didn't want to see him, didn't want to hear what he had to say, the not knowing was almost preferable to the facts, but then as he reached out and placed a hand on her arm she was, once again, desperate for information.

"Alex? Is she…? You were so long … Oh, Alex …" Rae couldn't speak; she knew that she was shaking and Mark's grasp of her got a little firmer.

"Shhh, Sweetie, let's go in my office, we can talk there." Mark didn't wait for an answer; he pushed open the door and guided Rae inside. The room was so much an extension of who and what Mark was, that even in her tormented state Rae smiled a small smile and felt somehow reassured though no words had been spoken.

Rae sat down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk and tried to keep herself under control. For a moment the room was totally silent, and she felt that she could bear anything but that. "Alex?"

"I have her in the paediatric intensive care unit, and … Rae, she had a seizure, which is why I was longer than I had intended." Alex stopped talking, his patient was very dear to him, and she had seemed so helpless, so vulnerable, but all he could do was treat her to the best of his ability and keep a close eye on her vital signs.

"Are you going to operate?"

"No, not at the moment, Doctor Lee, who got here real fast, Rae, thinks that she should be monitored for the next twenty-four hours, if her condition deteriorates then he will, but if not then he thinks that the edema, serious though it is, isn't cause enough on its own."

"Oh, thank God." Rae let out a deep sigh, "Did she come round?"

"No … Rae, she's in a coma, she's non-responsive, I'm sorry."

"I have to go to her, Alex, and Jesse should be here, Mark, where is he?" Rae got to her feet, but at the look on her friend's face she sat straight back down again.

"Honey, he wasn't home when I got in from work last night, and when you called Alex and we both came in he wasn't there then either. I don't know where he is." Mark shook his head, however stressed out Jesse was he loved his children, and he knew that when the young man found out how needed he had been his guilt would increase even more.

"Can you keep trying him for me? His number is on my phone, here, I can't have it with me anyway." Rae handed it over to Mark and then, remembering something else, began to talk again. "Everyone will need to be told. Mark, I told Steve and Sally, I didn't know what else to do." Her voice tailed away, she wasn't sure what to say.

"You sit with your daughter; I will do any phone work you want me to. Just work out a list and I'll call them." Mark put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a hug before she left the room with Alex.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Eliana had been delighted to see her 'Unki Teve', and once he had explained to her that Rae was staying in the hospital with Anneya she had happily gone home with him. Although it was coming up to lunchtime by the time Steve arrived at his house Eliana had been tired and so he had put her gently to sleep in the nursery, staying to watch her for a while, wondering the whole time how her little sister was faring.

By two Eliana was awake and ready to take on the world. She had eaten a meal of pancakes and syrup lovingly prepared by Michael, told him all about pre-school as she ate and then made herself comfortable with Daniel to watch cartoons.

Steve had joined Jo out in the garden, a mug of steaming coffee in each hand, and as they sat together drinking it they heard the combined laughter of the two children in the house.

"You know, I can't believe he is really ours, oh, I don't mean that we own him, but he is our son, legally an' morally an' every little thin' you can think of, he is ours." Jo smiled, but then a shadow passed across her face. "It could all be taken away so quickly though couldn't it? That little mite, she was fine yesterday, but now, now she could be dyin' couldn't she?" Jo moved closer to Steve, and was comforted by the feel of his arm around her waist.

"We can't think that way, she'll fight this just like her mom or dad would do, but yeah, it could be, and that's why we have to enjoy every day, live every moment… and I sound like a Hallmark card!" Steve looked down at his beautiful wife and he knew that almost losing her once was once too often, but if he was to lose his child, no, he couldn't think that way. He lifted his cup and drank until he had drained it, not knowing what else to do or say.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Anneya was lying in a small bed, there were IV's and monitors next to her, and for a moment Rae couldn't enter the room. Alex had warned her how her little girl would look, but the actual sight was almost too much and it took a gentle push from the young doctor to carry her over the threshold.

"Rae, sit down on the chair, then I can explain everything that's here, so that you know what's going on."

Alex pulled a second seat over from by the door of the small, but private, room and made himself comfortable on it. He placed his hand on Rae's arm and she reached up and trapped it under her own. "All these things, they don't matter, not if she's going to die, is she going to die, Alex?"

"Oh, Honey, I wish I could tell you definitely no, but the truth is, right now I don't know. The GSC, which is the Glasgow Coma Scale, shows her to have severe brain injury and coma, it's more use in adults, but even so her score's not good, she has severe brain edema, I don't need to explain that to you, I know you understand how dangerous it can be."

Rae had tears in her eyes now, but she wouldn't let them fall. Somehow she felt that if she fell apart then her daughter's prognosis would be worse.

"Can she hear me, Alex?" Rae reached out to touch her child, but moved back as if burned. "She's still warm; I thought that would have gone."

"She's cooler than she was, and her temperature is coming down all the time. Rae, she's still getting antibiotics for the ear infection, which will ward off any other infections. Her prostaglandin levels are high, they'll be monitored because that isn't good, she's also being given magnesium and this here," Alex pointed to a figure on a chart by the bed, "is a reading of her serum sodium levels, they can fluctuate so we need to keep an eye on them, her waste will be monitored for that too." Alex wished that he had some better news for his friend, but he also knew that she wouldn't thank him for being conservative with the truth.

"Stop, I … I can't take anything else in right now." She felt guilty, but her brain was on overload. "Can I hold her hand? I want her to know that she isn't alone … that her mommy is here…" the tears threatened her again but, as before, she swallowed them down. "Alex, I know you're busy, you can go, I … I'll be ok."

"You're sure? I can stay a little longer if you would like." Alex regarded her critically; he knew that she was already under a great deal of pressure, and he had no idea why Jesse wasn't with her. "I'll go see Mark on my way down to the ER, my shift started an hour ago, so I'll just work right through, I'm sure he'll come sit with you for a while."

Rae smiled; the concern in her friend's eyes although worrying also warmed her, she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he had her daughter's best interests at heart, and that was a help to her right now.

"Could you get in touch with Amanda and Ron? Only Anneya is their goddaughter, they should know."

"Of course. I'll get someone to bring you up an herbal tea as well." Alex was gratified by the smile he received and then, still with a heavy heart, he turned and made his way back toward the ER department.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Jesse had driven until three in the afternoon, stopping whenever the scenery was breathtaking, which was often. He had found a small fish restaurant just off a beach to have his lunch, and the feeling of total freedom from responsibility as he sat enjoying a cup of very nice coffee had been just what the doctor ordered.

Rae called him three times on his cell phone in the space of just over a half hour and in the end he had switched it off and put it in the trunk of the car. He felt better able to face her now he had been away, but he wondered whether that was just because he had put some serious miles between them.

Turning round in a conveniently placed coastal parking lot Jesse had begun the reverse journey with his spirits higher than they had been in a while. He found a CD in the glove box, and slid it into the player. It was one that his daughters' listened to, nursery rhymes and repetitive songs but it suited his mood and before long he was singing heartily about the wheels on the bus and how they went round and round.

To his surprise the journey home was totally different to the outward one. Even though he was travelling the same road he was seeing everything from the other perspective and so, once again, he found himself stopping and looking out at the ocean or watching the lights of the cities in the distance as they twinkled and flickered.

It was almost midnight before he drew into the driveway of the beach house and a wave of fatigue washed over him which resulted in him heading along the hallway and into his room without even stopping for a bedtime cup of coffee.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

The night had seemed eternally long for Rae, she had only left her daughter's side twice, and on both occasions it had been because readings needed to be taken, and IV bags changed, although the room was a reasonable size and she could have stayed, somehow it seemed to her that there wasn't enough room for the nurse and mother in the room at the same time. Rae had tried to melt into the wall, but wherever she had stood she felt as if she was in the way and so finally, with a smile in the nurse's direction, Rae had used both opportunities as toilet breaks, and to try her husband's phone again.

At nine o'clock on the Sunday morning Steve and Jo arrived at the hospital, unable to stay away any longer. Daniel had homework to do, and so Eliana had settled herself happily in the kitchen to draw a picture for Miss Amy to take to school the next day.

Steve had just handed Jo a cup of coffee when he heard his name being called and looked up to see Amanda, her face strained and worried, walking into the lounge. "Steve, did you hear anything? I … I left the boys with Ron; I needed to come and find out for myself. Rae and Jesse must be beside themselves with worry."

"Jesse isn't here." Mark's voice cut into the conversation, "I slept here last night, just in case Rae needed me, but I've been trying and trying to reach him. I'm about to go call home again, but he's due on duty in two hours." Mark shook his head as he moved into the room and took first Jo and then Amanda into a hug before clapping his son on the arm as he shook his hand.

"Is there any news yet this morning?" Steve's voice showed the worry he felt for Rae and Jesse.

"It's a waiting game. She has severe head trauma, and is in a coma. There's no guarantee that she'll recover. I'm sorry, Son, I wish I had better news to impart." Mark knew he was talking with very little emotion in his voice, but he needed to keep his feelings under control and that was the best way to do it.

"Yeah, me too, but thanks, Dad." Steve watched as his father left the room, and then he sank down onto the saggy sofa next to Jo needing her comfort and companionship more than ever.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

The ringing of a telephone bell began to filter through into Jesse's subconscious, but it was ok, Rae would get it. He turned over and half opened an eye, and realised that he wasn't at home, that Rae wouldn't get anything for him because he had frozen her out of his life. The sights and smells of the previous day came into his mind, and he found that he could bring forth a feeling of peace and contentment with them. The ringing had stopped, but he knew that he needed to get up take a shower and head in to the hospital.

As the water began to pound down on his back Jesse heard the phone again; he guessed he just wasn't meant to answer it. Ten minutes later he was pulling out of the driveway and didn't hear the answer phone cut in, or the message that Mark left for him.

Alex had been grateful for a morning of mundane and ordinary cases. His mind was so full of head injuries, of Rae and all that she had been through in the past, that he didn't think that he could handle anything more than a skinned knee or a broken nose right now. As he left the trauma room to go and grab a cup of coffee before going back up to check on Anneya he saw, to his delight and relief, Jesse come out of  the elevator.

"Jess, thank goodness you're here. I guess Mark got through in the end, huh? I'm just going to see her, we can go up together." Alex was walking and talking at the same time and so didn't see the look of confusion on the face of his friend.

"Alex, slow down. See who? I'm due to start work in a little while, that's why I'm here."

"You mean you don't know?" Alex turned to his friend, a look of horror on his face. "Jesse, Anneya is in the PICU, she had a fall at home, she's in a coma."

"Oh my God, I had no idea, Alex, I need to go to her, where did you say she was?" Jesse threw the words over his shoulder as he raced for the elevator, punching the display hard, hoping that it would make the doors open quicker.

"The paediatric intensive care unit, Rae is with her." Alex wasn't sure, but he thought he saw Jesse take a deep breath in, and he knew that something had changed. "Jess?" There was no reply and then the doors did open and the two doctors hurried inside.

Rae had walked around the bed and back three times, she had then stretched her hands up to the ceiling and down to the floor. It didn't make a lot of difference, but at least her muscles were doing some work. She had never realised just how tiring sitting doing nothing was. She knew she was worrying, watching for any sign of movement, or change in her daughter, but this wasn't a mental tiredness, that she knew would come later, she felt as if she had run about ten miles along the beach.

As she sat down in the chair once more Rae heard the sound of the elevator opening. Anneya's room was five doors down from the nurses' station, and as she sat there she heard Alex's voice, and rose to her feet again to go and greet him. What she saw rooted her to the spot; Jesse was behind him, not exactly dragging his feet, but not hurrying either. He stopped just before the end of the fourth room and began to speak.

"Rae, Alex told me what the matter is. If you want to go get something to eat or have a sleep, I'll take over here."

Alex sensed that it would probably be best if he left and came to check on Anneya in a few minutes, so he kept on walking, touching Rae gently on the arm as he passed, and took the stairs back to where he had come from.

"No, Jesse, I can't leave her, she needs me here, needs you here too. She doesn't care if we are having problems; she just wants her mummy and daddy together helping her to get well." Rae moved back into the room and sat down; she needed to be with Anneya, not arguing in the doorway.

"Rae, you have to go, so that I can sit with her." Jesse felt a deep sense of disappointment in the pit of his stomach. He had been hopeful that after the journey of the previous two days he would have at least been able to be in the same room as Rae, but the banging of his heart, and the cold, awfulness that came with it was almost overpowering, and he turned and headed back towards the elevator without another word.

Rae watched Jesse turn and leave the PICU in disbelief; just because she was in the room he was unable to stay and the despair which had been bubbling below the surface turned to anger and resulted in her leaping to her feet and following him out into the hallway.

Jesse must have broken into a run as soon as he was out of sight because he was nowhere to be seen. She knew where he would make for though, and so she headed for the first elevator and hit the floor button for the ER doctor's lounge.

Jesse had wanted to sit with Rae and watch over Anneya but the fear for his sanity was stronger than that for his daughter's safety and he had been able to do nothing but go back the way he had come. He couldn't leave the hospital; he would be in the building, he could do his shift and that way when there was any news of his little girl he would know right away.

He saw Amanda, Mark, Jo and Steve waiting in the doctor's lounge and thought that Alex was back working in ER. He knew that two people at a time were allowed in the room with Anneya, but everyone would expect him to be the second person.

The door to the lounge opened and Amanda stood there. "Jess? Thank goodness you're here." Amanda realised that the doctor's lounge was the last place that Jesse should actually be. "Is there some news, has something happened?" Her beautiful face was creased with worry and he hurried to reassure her.

"No, no, I … I just had to come away." Jesse looked down, he couldn't meet her gaze.

"Tell her why, Jesse. Tell her why you can't sit with your wife and watch as your daughter fights for her life, and while you're at it, maybe you can explain it to me too, because right now I can't think of any reason good enough." Rae had arrived unnoticed, and her voice, loud and hard broke into the conversation.

"Rae?" Jesse spun round, moving backwards as he did so. "I … I tried, I really did, but I can't, I just can't." His hand found the handle of the door to the lounge and he pushed against it and disappeared inside.

Rae watched him, knowing that there was nothing she could do to reach him and, for the first time since she had found him in the shell of Crosier's garage, she wondered whether she wanted to.

Suddenly Rae knew that she had to get back to Anneya, it had been twenty-four hours since she had been brought in, and Rae hadn't left her for a moment apart from when she went to the toilet, now though the little girl was by herself, and panic began to set in. "I … I have to go, she may … she may need …" Rae's words ran out, she felt totally alone, even though the faces of her friends were visible through the glass of the room they were in. All the fears and mixed emotions seemed to crowd around her and for a moment she didn't know which way to turn to get back to the elevator and start the return journey to PICU.

"Rae, come and sit with me in my office, just for a minute, I'll get you a drink and you can relax, Anneya will be ok, Steve and Jo can go sit with her." Mark took Rae by the hand and he could feel her shaking. She was as close to exhaustion as it was possible to get without keeling over, and he was very concerned about her.

"No, no, I can't, I have to go back, she needs me, Mark, she could die … I can't leave her." The tears sprang into her eyes but she no longer had the strength to wipe them away. So far she hadn't cried, hadn't let anyone see the anguish she was feeling inside, the helplessness that her daughter was dying and she could do nothing to save her.

"Honey, you're tired out, Anneya is gonna need you so much when she comes round, but right now just having someone with her who loves her will be enough. Let Jo and Steve do that for you, just for a few minutes." The warmth of Mark's voice was too much for Rae to handle; cold facts and silent nurses were things she could deal with, but this was a step too far and she felt herself crumble, and Mark's arms go around her. "Come on, Sweetie, I have some camomile tea in my office with your name on it."

Rae was aware of being gently directed towards the cluttered but friendly rooms of the head of internal medicine, and as she got to the door she turned and reached out to Steve who had moved out of the lounge and come up behind her. "Talk to her, tell her I'll be back, she might hear you, Steve … tell her …"

"Shhh, it's alright, we know what to say, you stay with Dad for a while, if I have to leave Jo will stay, and she won't be alone, ok?" Steve held on to the hand she had given him for just a moment longer and then, looking to his wife for confirmation, they both moved away.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Amanda had gone back into the doctor's lounge where Jesse had sat down on the saggy sofa and put his head in his hands. Now she crouched down in front of him and tried to keep her voice calm and kind, although she was finding it hard to do so.

"Jesse, I think you and I need to talk, or maybe I could get Lauren, it's up to you."

"What's the matter with me, Amanda? She's my daughter, but all I could think of was myself, and I couldn't stay." Jesse looked up, and the haunted expression in his eyes melted away all of Amanda's anger, and she took his hands into her own.

"I don't know what the matter is, not fully, but I know that before it was Steve and Rae that scared you, but now it seems to be just Rae. What has she done? She loves you; all she wants is for the four of you to be a family once again."

"But don't you see, if I stay bad things will happen? They told me not to tell, and I didn't, for a long time I didn't, but then, I did … and right away things got bad, real bad, I didn't get the connection not then, but now, now I know I told and things …" Jesse trailed away, he didn't know how to explain it. It was perfectly logical to him, he knew why he had told Rae, he knew what had happened since, and he knew they were all linked together. If she hadn't come into his life he would never have told anyone, and things would be just as they used to be.

"Jess, you aren't making any sense, who told you, and what was it that you weren't supposed to tell?" Amanda was trying to remember anyone that they'd had dealings with in the past warning Jesse off, but no one sprang to mind.

"He took me, he took me inside, and he sat me down, it was quite comfortable. I'd been there before, with Rae, but he didn't know that. He told me, he told me what would happen, and it was the same, how did he know? He had to know because they told him, but they weren't real, were they?" The confusion came up in Jesse's voice, and he stopped talking again. This time Amanda just slightly shifted her position so that she could sit on the floor in front of him, but still keep a hold on his hands. She didn't want to move too much and break whatever spell he was under.

"What do I do? Now, when I'm here, with you I want to be with Anneya, but when I go up there, and Rae is there, and she knows, she knows everything, how can I stay?"

"Jesse," Amanda's voice was very soft, and she carefully sat down on the sofa next to him, without letting go of his grasp, "if it's something that Rae already knows, and she's still here, I guess it doesn't matter to her, so why does it matter to you?"

"Because they told me, they said, if I told then things would happen, bad things, and they have, every time I've said anything something bad happens. If I hadn't told her, then none of this would have happened, if she had stayed away, if she hadn't come, we would be like we used to be, it's her fault, and I know if I see her they'll be angry and more bad things will happen. Like, like what's happening to Anneya right now, that's her fault too."

"Jesse!" Amanda was scandalised, "how can you say that, your little girl is seriously ill, but it's no one's fault. These things happen, and we all just have to hope and pray that the doctors will be able to make her better again, but it certainly has nothing to do with Rae, or whatever it was that you told her."

Jesse shook his head, he didn't know how to make her understand, how to show her that what he was saying, even though it sounded crazy, even to him now, he couldn't back away from it.

"When he took me into the house he told me I could go, that I could just leave, through the front door right there and then. But that Jo had to stay, she had to die. I said that I couldn't do that, but that neither of us were going to die because Rae and Steve would find us and save us both." Jesse paused for a moment, and in his mind he was back in the house where he had been held captive. "He just laughed, he said that he didn't believe me, no one would find us in time, and even if they did find us our destruction would be down to them anyway… and then he said that if they found me alive, and I told them that I stayed when I could have left and led you to him, when I could have maybe saved Jo from going through everything, that no one would believe me, so it would be better to say nothing, because if I told what I knew, bad things would happen … if I told then those I loved would get hurt, just like they had gotten hurt in the past … how could he know that? How could he know that had happened before?"

Although Jesse had spoken fluently he had begun to shake, and now he sat leaning against Amanda, she could feel him trembling and so carefully she let go of his hand and put her arm around him.

"Jesse, what happened before? I know that you're talking about Don Werner and what he did to you and Jo, but you keep saying that things happened before, what happened before?" Amanda hoped that by asking a question she wouldn't put him off, but at the moment he was talking round and round in circles, and they weren't really getting anywhere.

"Don't you see? If I tell you, if I tell you what they said then bad things will happen to you too?"

"Phooey!" Amanda bristled slightly. "Don't give me that! Jesse, you know that empty threats are just that, empty. Don't tell or something bad will happen, it could be anything from a flat tire on the way to work to … I don't know, something worse, and it's like a horoscope, you can make it fit what you want it to fit. Honey," Her voice softened again, "Werner knew you were vulnerable, he could have made you believe anything he wanted to, and I'm sure that whoever they are from before, it was the same then too, so please, tell me, tell me and then maybe you will feel better, and you can watch over your child with Rae, like you should."

Jesse nodded his head, maybe if more than one person knew, it would weaken the power it had over him, not increase it. Maybe if he told everyone, then it would go away. He knew, in his clear and rational moments that someone else's words were screwing up his life, but they were so powerful, so omnipresent, that he had been unable to dismiss them, and gradually, insidiously they had taken over his thoughts and his life to the point where everything he did was arranged around them. _For goodness sakes, Jesse, you are a grown man, a licensed physician and a father, wake up and smell the roses; only you can banish this, so talk and get it done with._ He didn't know where the thought came from, but suddenly he was filled with a resolve to finally end his torment and so, taking a deep breath he began to speak once more.

"Do you remember when I went to the cabin in the hills with Steve?"

If Amanda was surprised at what he said she managed to cover it well, he saw her nod her head and so he continued speaking.

"He had to go back to town, and I was left on my own … you know that I was taken away, and I thought, at the time, I really did think that aliens had me. That there was a cover up, that no one wanted to admit that we were being invaded by beings from another planet. I know that Mark and you found out what was happening, and showed me how I was being drugged, and that none of it was real, but they said that would happen, they said that you would have a logical explanation for all of it, and they said that you would be lying."

Amanda was quiet, what Jesse had suffered was impossible for them to really understand because he had, as he said, been drugged, and his recollections were hazy to say the least, or that was what he had always said, but now she wasn't so sure, now she wondered whether he did actually remember it, all of it, but he had thought that by keeping quiet he was making sure all his friends would remain safe.

"When they took me from the cabin they had big heads, everywhere was light, green and light, and I was so scared." The shaking returned, and Jesse leant closer into Amanda, glad that she was there and he realised he was already feeling a little better for being able to finally talk.

"Go on, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." She had already waved two doctors away from the door as they tried to enter and get coffee, but Jesse hadn't been aware of either of them, and as she spoke she felt him lean a little closer into her and she smiled slightly.

"I don't know where I was, I've never known where they took me, but sometimes I would wake up and I was in bed, others I was tied to a chair. One guy would hit me and make me repeat things after him, they were all the same, they had big heads, wide, they were aliens, they really were, or I thought they were, and they said that no one would believe me, that my friends would prove to me one way or another that I had been kidnapped for a few days and then released, but I would know different, I would know the truth."

Amanda didn't know what to say, she could see where there could be a convoluted logic in what Jesse was saying. The same as a bullying father telling a small child that no one would believe him if he said he was being beaten up at home, and she wasn't sure how to counter it.

"They said that they needed me to save their planet, I wanted to laugh, to say they were nuts, but they were right there in front of me, green aliens, and then the last thing that I remember, was one of them he stood behind me with his arm around my throat, and he said if I told anyone what had happened, if I contacted anyone other than those I was instructed to contact, then those I loved the most would be hurt, that bad things would happen to them. And he knew, how could he have known that unless it was true?" The anguish as he finished talking caused Jesse's voice to rise into a shout and then he was quiet and still, and the room was the same.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Rae had sat down on one of the chairs by Mark's desk and rested her head in her hands. She felt such a failure, not only had her little girl been badly injured and she hadn't been able to prevent it, but she couldn't even sit with her until she was well without falling to pieces.

"I have to get back, Mark, she'll know I'm not there … I … I don't know what to do, Mark, please, help me." The plea tore at his heart and Mark poured the water over the tea bag in the cup and then moved over and sat next to her.

"Honey, she may know that you aren't there, but if she does she will also know that people who love her are by her side. You're gonna make yourself ill if you don't rest for just a little while. Now I have a very comfy sofa in here, and I would suggest that you sit at one end of it, put your feet up, drink your tea and close your eyes … ah ah, let me finish." Mark could see Rae desperately trying to break into the conversation. "If anything happens, anything at all, I'll tell PICU to page me, and I will be in here doing some of my ever increasing paperwork, so that I can keep you company.  Rae, you can't keep on going and going without a break, no one can. Just stay for a couple of hours and then go back, ok?"

"I don't know, Mark, she's so young, she looks tiny and helpless, I should be there, with her, not sleeping on a comfortable sofa in a friendly office while she's suffering so."****

"I know that's how you feel, and I always feel that way too, when Steve is in the hospital, but in the end you can only do so much before you make yourself ill too. I don't think that you want that to happen do you?"

Rae shook her head; she knew what Mark was saying made sense, and she was so tired that she wasn't actually sure if she could make it unaided back to the ICU anyway. "But just one hour, sixty minutes, and then you wake me up and I go back."

Mark nodded his head; he hadn't expected her to agree to it at all, so this was definitely better than nothing. He stood up, handed her the cup of tea and then watched as she placed it carefully on the table next to the sofa before making herself comfortable as instructed. Five minutes later the tea was still largely undrunk, but Rae was fast asleep.

**. . . . . . . . . .**

Amanda had sat quietly for quite a while after Jesse had finished talking. She wasn't sure if there was more to come or not, and also she needed to get her thoughts into some sort of order before she spoke. She was angry, angry at how her kind, loving, and slightly naïve friend had been made to suffer because of his innate good nature, but she was angry at him too, angry because he had been silly enough to let it rule his life so easily.

"Do you hate me?" the words came out as a plea for reassurance, and Amanda was shocked that he would think such a thing.

"No, of course not, Jesse, why would I?" There was no reply and she realised that he needed more than just her banal reassurances. "Jesse, you were brainwashed, you were told something that they knew, all of them, that Trask guy and his cronies, as well as Werner, would horrify and scare you. You have always, as long as I have known you, been a loyal and trustworthy friend. I've always known that if I have a problem I can come to you and you'll do everything in your power to help me out. They played on that, they played on it so much that in the end your only desire was to keep your friends and family safe and sound, and if that meant alienating those very people, then that was a risk you were willing to take to ensure that their security was guaranteed."

"But bad things did happen; I told Rae about the article in the paper, you know the one, about an alien seducing me." Jesse blushed a deep red and Amanda smiled, "and straight away Levington came and took her and almost killed me. You tell me that isn't something bad happening because I told her."

"Jesse, what happened to you and Rae was bad, it was awful, but it had absolutely nothing to do with you telling her about the article in the paper." Amanda saw with sudden clarity how Jesse could see his whole life going from bad to worse since that awful day when Rae had been kidnapped, raped and finally married to a monster who had been fixated with her from the first day he had laid eyes on her.

"If she hadn't come, I wouldn't have loved her, she wouldn't have known about the newspaper article and all the things that have happened wouldn't have … happened." Even as he said it Jesse found that he no longer believed it quite as much as he had before.

Amanda could see the uncertainty in Jesse's eyes, and she realised that something had changed. "Ok, if Rae hadn't come, I will grant you, some things that were awful wouldn't have happened at all, but neither would far more good things. You have a beautiful wife who loves you, two wonderful daughters, Jesse, how can you not want those things to have happened?"

"I … I don't… and it's not her fault is it? I never blamed her before, not like this, sometimes I've wished she did things differently, but I couldn't even look at her, couldn't let her touch me because if I did I saw Werner looking at me, telling me that my friends would get hurt, and if I saw Werner then I saw aliens."

"Jesse, why did you see Werner when you looked at Rae?" Amanda was confused again, and she had a feeling that there was still something left to be disclosed.

"I wanted to leave, when Werner said I could go, I wanted to, but he would have killed Jo, and I knew she would be dead before I could get anyone to the house to rescue her. I thought if I stayed I could help protect her, but I couldn't, he cut her finger off, he pulled her hair out, and I couldn't do anything. I thought for sure that Steve and Rae would hate me, would see me as the failure I was because I didn't protect their wife and best friend, but they didn't, and first of all I was just so glad to be alive, but gradually it changed, I was so ashamed, and when I would see them I would feel the shame all over again, but they were so nice, and that made it worse. Jo didn't blame me, she told me and I believed her, but I would see pity in Rae's eyes, and I just knew she would tell Steve how she felt, and he would know I had failed too. Werner told me I would fail and that bad things would happen, and somehow when I saw Rae I heard him say that, and everything kept going round and round and I couldn't get free of it. But I wasn't able to tell her that, because if I did then the bad things would happen again… so I didn't, but bad things happened anyway didn't they? Nadine got killed, and Anneya got hurt … I didn't tell, I didn't tell and they still happened …"

Jesse had spoken for a long time, and Amanda had listened intently, but she had felt her heart surge, and felt instantly guilty for it, when she saw Jesse realise that two terrible things had happened, and he hadn't said anything. Fate was just that, fate, no one controlled it or caused it to happen, and if he could keep that in the forefront of his mind, then she had no doubt he would slowly become the Jesse they all loved and missed.


	20. Fine, Everything's just Fine!

**A/N** After a short break I am now posting this again. Thank you to all of you who are sticking with me. I hope you enjoy. I can't get the scene breaks to be accepted by the site. I apologise if it makes it a little muddled. Tracy

**Chapter Twenty – Fine – Everything's just Fine!**

Amanda had watched as Jesse had finally fallen asleep on the sofa in the doctors' lounge, and she could already see a difference in him, there was a peace about him that hadn't been there before.

She didn't plan to let him sleep for too long, but she knew that the revelations he had made would have exhausted anyone. It was just over an hour after Mark had left and about twenty minutes since Jesse had nodded off that the door opened and Amanda looked up to see Rae standing in the doorway.

"Hi." The one word came out as a whisper.

"Hi, Rae, are you ok?" Amanda put down the magazine that she had been scanning and smiled up at her friend.

"Yeah, I actually went to sleep, I didn't think I would be able to but I did. Amanda, I'm going back to sit with Anneya, but … but if Jesse wants to come up I'll go, I don't understand why he can't stay with me, but he shouldn't be separated from his child, she needs him right now." Rae turned and left the room, she didn't know what else to say, she could see pity in Amanda's eyes and there was no way she could deal with that.

Steve and Jo were sitting to the side of Anneya's small bed, the little girl's hand lying gently in the much larger hand of her uncle. Although there was no blood relationship between them Steve thought of himself as the child's uncle, just as he did with her sister. The only noise in the room came from the machines banked over on the other side of the bed. Somehow it had seemed inappropriate for them to carry on a conversation and so they had sat, as close to each other as was possible, and just watched Anneya as she lay, unresponsive, unaware of the heavy feeling everyone was carrying in their hearts right now.

Rae stood outside the room looking in through the glass for a while; she watched her two best friends as they sat, their love for each other, as well as her child, obvious to anyone who cared to look. She was transfixed for a moment by the size of Anneya's hand as it rested inside Steve's, the strength and security it represented taking her breath away. Gradually Rae became aware that she wasn't alone, and she turned slightly to see her husband standing just about ten feet away from her.

"Jesse?" Rae smiled; the feeling of hurt that had been caused when he had left her with Anneya was still very close to the surface, but she knew that now was neither the time nor the place to let it loose.

Jesse looked at Rae, he'd been standing just behind her for a minute or two before she realised that he was there. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he was sure that he would be disturbing patients. "I don't know if I can do this, but I'll try to sit with you."

Rae nodded, "Ok, for as long as you want, Jesse, then I can go check on Eliana, just tell me when you need me to go." Rae felt uncomfortable and not sure what to say. She couldn't believe that the man she loved so totally could make her feel that way, but once again she knew that it was something that would have to wait to be dealt with.

Jo had looked up and, seeing both Rae and Jesse out in the hallway, had whispered quietly to her husband and now she and Steve were getting up to leave Anneya's room.

"Rae, she hasn't stirred, I wish I could tell you that she has." Jo laid a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Thank you, Texas, I wish you could tell me that too, but in a way I'm not surprised. Did Alex come up at all while I was asleep?"

"You slept? Good, you needed to do that." Jo hadn't removed her hand and now she squeezed Rae's arm. "No, he didn't, just a nurse checkin' the tubes an' things, she was in an' out in a shake of a puppy dog's tail."

Steve had moved quietly over to where Jesse was standing and he had seen right away that Jesse looked calmer somehow than he had before. "Are you alright with this? I can stay if you can't handle it."

"No, thanks, but no. I have to do this, she's my daughter, Steve, she is fourteen months old, and … and she may be dying, I can't let Rae face that alone, whatever problems and issues I have." Jesse smiled, he could do this, there were a lot of things that he couldn't do at the moment, but this, well, he wouldn't let anyone down, least of all himself.

"Jesse, I'm going to go and sit down, when you're ready come in and we'll take it from there, ok?" Rae looked across at him just for a moment and then she went in and sat in the chair furthest from the door and hoped she wouldn't be alone for very long.

By the time that Jo and Steve got home it was almost three in the afternoon. They had stayed in case Jesse had needed to go, not wanting Rae to be alone any longer than was necessary. Amanda had returned home just before lunch, but she had called to say that Ron and she would come and sit with Anneya through the night so that both Rae and Jesse could get some sleep.

Daniel had called Maddie, the friend that had taught him to box, and between the two of them they had kept Eliana occupied for most of the day. Eliana had been fascinated by her new friend's long blonde hair, and for a little while the two girls had played hairdresser while Daniel had watched in bemused silence.

Sounds of laughter were coming from the morning room as Steve and Jo arrived home and were let into the house by Michael. "Honey, you need to put a hand on a red counter, do you know which one is red?" It was Maddie's voice which reached them first, and then Eliana joined in.

"Es, Miss Amy says good aps are wed, it's … um, that one." Her talking was followed by the sound of a little person slipping and sliding on the plastic mat of the game, and then laughter filled the air once again.

"Ana, hurry up!" Daniel's voice wasn't quite as relaxed as the other two.

Looking at each other Steve and Jo moved towards the door of the most used room in the house, anticipating with a smile what they would find. Daniel was stretched across the floor, with his feet on blue and green circles and both hands on red although very far apart. Maddie was sitting, cross legged next to his head, in charge of the spinner. After the strained day that they'd had they both knew it would be a welcome distraction to be able to join in, or at least watch, the game of Twister that was being played by Daniel, Maddie and Eliana.

By eight that evening Eliana had been fed, bathed and put to bed, tired out but happy. She had asked for her daddy and Steve had put a call through to the hospital so that the little girl could say goodnight before making her way to the nursery.

Finally Steve, Jo, Daniel, Maddie and Michael were alone downstairs, and the Englishman left the room, returning a few moments later carrying a tray with the bottle of champagne he had placed in the refrigerator at Steve's bidding a little earlier on it. Standing up Steve began to talk. "Daniel, I know it seems strange to bring a celebratory drink out, even if it is non-alcoholic, while we are so worried about Anneya, but you joined our family on Friday, and we are so pleased about that. Maddie, I know you understand the importance of this, and we're glad you are here to help us celebrate."

While Steve had been talking Michael had carefully filled five flutes with the non-alcoholic champagne and now the rest of them stood, their glasses raised.

"Daniel, you have come into our lives and made them so much more than they ever were. You have made your mom and me grow and learn a whole lot of things we never even knew we didn't know! Son, we're proud of you, what you are and what you have the potential to become. Daniel Sloan, we love you, welcome to the family."

Steve couldn't say anything else, and so he took a mouthful of his drink. Jo looked at him for an instant, her eyes bright with unshed tears and then she turned to face her son. "Honey, you have made my life complete, I love you too." She leant over and kissed the boy on the cheek, and she knew that he was struggling a little with his emotions as well.

"Thank you, Dad, Mom, I used to dream about what I wanted in my life, but it ended with just having two people who wouldn't leave me, all the love, well I never really thought about that… but …" Daniel paused for a minute and took a mouthful of his drink to cover his confusion and shuddered, "eww, why do people celebrate with this stuff? And it's not even real!" Although not really funny the action and words broke into the tension and the five of them burst into joyous laughter.

Monday morning saw Rae taking over from Ron and Amanda to sit again with her daughter. Jesse had managed to stay with Rae for just over an hour on the Sunday afternoon before they had parted company and she had headed for the station, unable to stay in the hospital and not be with her child. The profile of their red rose killer had been sitting on her desk and she had worked until late in the evening trying to find a match to the characteristics that Ron had identified.

Alex had called her at seven in the morning to tell her that there was no change; as she spoke to him she had already been in to see Eliana as she slept and was on her way to Community General. The morning traffic had been busy and it was almost nine before she found a parking space in the doctors' lot and rushed up in the elevator to get to her daughter.

Ron saw her first and stood up, leaving Amanda to stay with their godchild. "Rae, how are you this morning?"

"I've been better, Ron, thank you for staying with her, I … I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you and Amanda came in … I … I just couldn't stay, not after Jesse asked me to go."

Ron had put a hand on her arm and she smiled up at him, "Don't think anything about it. Amanda has explained a little of what is going on, it's an added stress that you really don't need; if the two of you were together right now we wouldn't have been needed, but we were, and I'm glad we could help."

"Me too, Rae, you know we'll come and sit for as long as you need us, whenever you need us, you just have to ask." Amanda had moved to the doorway of the small ICU room and Rae took her into a hug.

"Thank you, thank you so much. Now, go, get some sleep, and Ron, when I get the chance, I have some files to show you." Rae blushed, suddenly guilty for thinking of work, but it had restored some sanity to her to be able to do what she had the previous evening.

Rae stood and watched as Ron and Amanda headed for the elevator and then she turned and made her way into the now overly familiar room. Her daughter looked so tiny, so frail, and she winced at the sight of the tubes giving Anneya the nutrients and medications that she needed. Rae knew that the first twenty-four hours would have been the most critical, it had been almost forty-eight now and despite the seriousness of the situation Rae felt a little heartened.

"Rae?" She jumped at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Mark standing in the doorway. "Sweetie, how is she this morning?" He came into the room and gently ran his finger down the face of his goddaughter.

"I don't know, Alex hasn't been up yet, I asked a nurse to let him know I was here, I don't like to look at the charts, so I just know that she is still alive, and she hasn't been operated on. That's good, right?" The desperation in Rae's voice tore at Mark's heart and he was glad he could nod his agreement.

"Yes, it is, a very good sign, but I won't lie to you, Rae, she needs to come round, the longer she is unconscious the more worried we will get." Mark felt like a bad guy as he saw his friend deflate.

"I … I know that, I guess I was trying not to think about it." Rae took her child's hand in hers. "I wish she wasn't hooked up to all this stuff, I just want to pick her up and hug her or lie down with her, to hold her, let her know I'm here."

"Honey, she will know, talk to her, tell her all the things you usually do, read her stories, play her music, anything that can start tapping away at her mind; as long as it is quiet no one will bother you."

Rae nodded her head, she had been so wound up in worry that stories or music hadn't occurred to her. "Can you stay? I can go to a book store, I won't be long."

"I can do better than that. You sit here and I will take a visit to the childrens' ward, we have all sorts of books there, I'll bring you up a selection, ok?"

"I don't know what I would do without all of you, thank you, Mark." Rae watched as Mark headed off down the hallway and then she turned back towards her daughter. "Sweetheart, we're just so lucky, you are lucky too, I know you're poorly right now, but we have such good friends, you have Grandpa Mark, who loves you so much, and Aunty Amanda and Uncle Ron, they sat with you all night, Uncle Steve and Aunty Jo, Honey, you have to get better, then we can have a big party, we can thank everyone for helping you and Eliana. Uncle Steve told me that Daniel and Maddie played with her all day yesterday, on second thoughts maybe a party isn't enough, those two deserve a medal, but it would be such fun wouldn't it? You know it won't be long until Christmas, maybe, because you have been such a good girl this year, Santa would come to your party too."

Rae wiped a tear from the corner of her eye; there were other people she could have mentioned, Alex, who, she knew, was doing everything in his power to help her child, Shannon, who had come up to see her and Jesse, bringing hot drinks and snacks in the hour they had been together. Michael, who was also keeping Eliana amused, not an easy task, especially with no Mommy or sister there for her to play with. As Rae finished the list in her mind she froze; the tiny hand held inside hers had moved, she was sure it had, Rae held her breath, almost too scared to move herself and waited, willing and praying her daughter to flex her fingers one more time.

"I beg your pardon?" Steve was trying very hard to be cool, calm and collected, although he felt anything but. His night had been full of dreams where Anneya was crying out but none of them could get to her. Eliana had been calling out colours, telling them where to put their feet, but no matter how hard they tried the part of the game board where Anneya was kept moving away from them. Finally after jolting awake for the third time he had got up, pounding the early morning streets of Beverly Hills for an hour before heading into the station to start work.

Amanda had left a message with the desk to say that they were waiting for Rae to come and relieve them and that she would be in touch again later in the day. She also said that although Anneya was still unconscious she was holding her own. Steve had been considerably cheered by that news, but now, speaking with a detective from the Santa Barbara PD, his mood was deteriorating once again.

"Lieutenant, he seems like a really nice guy. We contacted him about his outstanding parking fines, he apologised profusely and came in and paid all of them off." The officer on the other end of the phone line was called Jed Dubrovski and he spoke as if he needed his adenoids removed.

"Officer Dubrovski, if you had killed someone in an elevator and the cops came round about a couple of parking tickets what would you do?" Steve tried not to growl, but he knew he wasn't succeeding.

"I … I uh, guess I would come in and pay them right away. Sorry, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, me too. Look, I need you to keep an eye on this guy for me for a while, watch what he does, how he behaves. Can you do that?"

"I can, for a while, but unless we have a good reason for watching him my Captain is gonna pull us off in a few days." Dubrovski did indeed sound regretful and Steve took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm hoping that by the end of the week my partner and I will be able to get up and see the guy ourselves. What about where he works, can you do anything there?" Steve knew that John Masters Junior, or Callum Edwards as he had become on adoption, was the founder of a very successful computer software company which specialised in making programmes to learn musical instruments at home with the aid of your laptop or PC. "Does he travel a lot? I don't want to lose sight of him."

"Lieutenant, you seem awful keen to get this guy without putting in a lot of effort yourself. I will keep an eye on him this week, but then no more, not without extra information at any rate."

The phone was slammed down then and Steve stared at the receiver for a few seconds before replacing it. He knew he was being reticent, but he liked his job, and he had a feeling that he could be walking a beat real soon if too many details reached the obviously eager ears of Officer Dubrovski and his captain.

"Hey, Steve, where's Rae? I have a message for her from Martin." Cheryl came happily into the squad room and Steve realised that she had no idea just what a traumatic weekend their friend had spent.

Over a cup of hot coffee Steve told Cheryl everything that had happened, and then listened as she told him her news too.

"The doctors have said that starting next weekend Martin can come home on Friday and not go back until Monday, which is great, but both of us know that it is going to put a real strain on our relationship until we get things worked out. Martin wanted to know if maybe he could visit with Rae and Jesse for a little while to give me a break. I'll explain to him that we will wait a few weeks before we try that."

Martin had been the most seriously injured person in the Werner case to actually survive. The FBI had lost one agent, but although it had been touch and go for a while Martin had pulled through. His career in the police force was over though, and he had suffered serious brain damage. He now not only moved slowly but spoke that way too; Cheryl had described it as watching Martin living in permanent slow motion. She found it very hard to accept his limitations, but they loved each other and that had, in the end, been enough.

Steve's phone had begun to ring then and he had picked it up almost absentmindedly. "Sloan here, oh hi, Honey … about six I would guess, why …? Oh, no I'll wait and find out, yeah, you too, bye." He replaced the handset with a puzzled look, "that was Jo, she had some stuff sent up from Texas, well, it seems as if she has found something, she said she hoped I wasn't going to be late home because there was lots to look at."

"Really, wow, how exciting." Cheryl's eyes were shining with anticipation, "I wonder what she has found, maybe you own another oil well or something, that would be cool."

Steve shook his head, he didn't think that Cheryl, or anyone else for that matter, would understand that a suggestion like that only filled him with dread. As far as he was concerned they had way too much money as it was, and something that took it away would be more welcome than something that increased it. It wasn't his money though, and he knew that however much she tried to persuade herself otherwise, Jo would be unable to live without the relatively few trappings of wealth that she allowed herself, and that the money behind her went a long way towards making her the person that she was.

Jo put the phone down and went back into the morning room and looked once again at the black box on the table. It was, she guessed, about the same size as her laptop, in depth as well as length and width. She had known instantly that it was a jeweller's box, but she had never seen one so big before. The leather had been dulled by age, but the smell was wonderful, and there were no mildew or other marks on its surface. The gold coloured clasp had swung free effortlessly and Jo had opened it with a feeling of great anticipation. The lining had been of a ruby red satin, at least the part that she could see had been ruby red, and she had slammed it shut almost immediately she realised what it contained, and tried to catch her breath.

Eliana had slept until almost nine in the morning, and now she was with Michael in the kitchen having a late breakfast, the decision having been made to keep her home from pre-school for the day. Daniel had gone to school with a note in his bag explaining the changes in his family details, it had been a letter that Jo had waited a long time to write, and it had given her great pleasure to hand it to her son as he left the house.

Now though, having called her husband, checked on Eliana and Michael, rung through to the hospital to see how Anneya was getting on, as well as a few generally pointless chores, Jo knew that she really had no excuse, she had to re-open the box on the table in front of her and so, taking a deep breath, she did just that.

"Grandmamma, what in the world am I supposed to do with all this?" The contents of the box hadn't changed in the time Jo had been away from it, and now hesitantly she slid a hand into the box and felt the different gem stones as they ran over and through her fingers. The box was full of cut emeralds, diamonds, sapphires, rubies and other precious and semi precious stones. The colours caught the sunlight streaming in through the windows and made the gems sparkle even more. Carefully Jo raised her hand and watched as the stones near the edge of her palm and on her fingers ran away from her and back down into the pile below. She was left with green, red, blue and white stones all of them beautiful individually, but almost commonplace when put together.

Jo knew that she was an exceptionally rich woman; she had access to more money than anyone in their right minds would know what to do with. She had at one time been one of the wealthiest women in America, but those days were past. Not because she had squandered her assets, they were still growing daily, even hourly, but because there were people who, on paper, were worth huge fortunes, or who had been in the right place at the right time to turn small fortunes into large ones.

The fact that Jo no longer saw her name in the top ten wealthiest Americans hadn't caused her to lose any sleep, but David had been concerned, although Jo knew it would only be because Miss Prissy Knickers was worrying about her inheritance. Her brother was used to being rich, just as she was, there was nothing she could do about it, and all the money she, and everyone else on the list, had couldn't stop their details being published for everyone to see. At least she had made her money with something respectable like oil and cattle, although the mad cow disease crisis had hit that hard, and not those funny little beanie things or stories about superheroes who save mankind over and over again. The image of David's future wife came up in her mind and she began to think again, _Miss Prissy Knickers,_ Jo wondered what she would do if she could see the box on the breakfast table right now. _Well these were hers, all hers, and she wasn't sharing them with anyone!_ Suddenly Jo slammed the lid back down on the box, if they were going to make her think that way then she would give them away on street corners. She shuddered and then moved the picture on the wall over to one side of her, opened the safe hidden behind it and placed the box inside. Once that was done she picked up the phone again and put a call through to Gilbert her lawyer, because she had a feeling that even her contents insurance wouldn't cover this.

Rae had pressed the buzzer by the bed over and over until a nurse had come hurrying towards her. "Yes, Mrs Travis, is there something wrong?" The nurse knew that none of the machines were going off, nor were they due to be cleaned.

"Can you get Alex, Doctor Martin, up here please, she moved her hand, she moved her fingers, I felt her, I really did feel her." Rae could also feel the tears as they welled up in her eyes and she blinked them back; now wasn't the time to lose control.

Five minutes later Alex was standing next to her taking Anneya's vital signs, making notes on her charts, and talking to her the entire time.

"Anneya, Sweetie, it's Uncle Alex, can you hear me?" He carefully picked up her hand and let it fall back into Rae's own. There was no response, but Rae could tell that he was pleased with how things were going now. "Rae, it may be a little while before she moves again, she will be very weak, and moving her hand could wear her out. But it is a good sign, a very good sign … Did you tell Jesse?"

Rae had shaken his head. "No, he had an appointment with Doctor Yung this morning, I didn't want to interrupt at the wrong moment, so I left a message with her secretary, and she promised she would get it to him as soon as she could."

"Well, hopefully by the time he gets here she will be moving her hand again, or even opening her eyes, but it will still be a very long road, you know that don't you?" Alex had sat down next to Rae, wanting to get across that even when Anneya came to, she would still be very ill, and not only that but any permanent damage that she had sustained would begin to become obvious.

"I know, Alex, but thank you for telling me. I have to be positive, because … well, because the alternative is just too awful to even contemplate." Rae swallowed hard as she finished speaking, they both knew what she meant, and neither of them was willing to think about that, not yet.

"I know, but I just had to mention it…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Rae, Alex, I'll come back in a little while." The two friends turned as they heard Mark's voice in the doorway and saw him standing there, a little awkwardly with a pile of children's books in his arms.

"Mark, she moved her hand, I felt her, isn't that wonderful?" Rae smiled and Mark carefully put his books down so that he could take her into a hug.

"Rae, I am so glad … do you want me to find Jesse for you?" Mark saw her shake her head and listened as she told him where her husband was. Mark then looked across at the small child on the bed, and although his heart sang at the improved prognosis, its song was sad because he knew that nothing yet guaranteed a happy ending.

Jesse had caught Amanda before she left the hospital and asked her to go with him to see Lauren so that between them they could explain what had happened on the Sunday. For the first half an hour the two of them had gradually gone over the whole conversation that had taken place in the doctors' lounge, and then a tired but relieved Amanda had made her excuses and left. For a minute or two the room had been silent and then Lauren had begun to speak.

"Jesse, I am so very sorry about what has happened to Anneya, do you know how she is this morning?"

"Yeah, there has been no real change." Jesse had found himself going over various treatments and problem in his mind as he had waited for Lauren to see him. It had been a strange sensation, but he had realised that before the abduction it would have been what he would have done without even thinking about it. For him to be doing it again, even though he was thinking about it had to be a good sign.

"Jesse, you know I would have rearranged this appointment today so that you and Rae could be at your little girl's bedside." Lauren had smiled but inwardly she was thinking of her own child, older than Anneya, but about the same age as Eliana and she resolved to take a couple of days vacation time and spend it with him before the week was out.

"I know, and maybe if I hadn't talked with Amanda I would have cancelled it, but I need you to help me work through what I said, help me to understand what it all means, and what I have to do to stop myself from feeling this way." Jesse was turning his hands over and over in his lap, although he didn't realise it, and Lauren knew that for possibly the first time since he had been released at the end of the Don Werner case Jesse was opening up to her.

"Jesse, what you told Amanda was a huge step forward for you, but on its own it isn't enough, by coming here today you are showing me that you know it isn't enough. But I need to know what you want to achieve." Lauren had taped all of Jesse's appointments with her, and as she put a new tape into the machine she realised that it was the first time since his capture and release that she had needed to do so.

"I want my life back, I want to be trusted enough that I can practice medicine again, I … I don't want to be scared any more." Jesse looked down and seeing his hands moving placed one on top of the other.

"What are you scared of, Jesse?"

"Everything." Jesse said the word so quickly that even he knew it was a lie, an excuse, something to hide behind, because if he was scared of everything he wouldn't have to list those things that caused him the greatest fear.

"Ok, well, I have an hour or so, which bit of everything to you want to start with?" Lauren smiled as she spoke, and saw Jesse smile too, although in an embarrassed way.

"I guess you've heard that one before, huh?"

"Oh yeah, so shall we start again?" She waited for an accepting nod and then when she got it carried on talking, "What are you scared of, Jesse?"

This time there wasn't a quick all-encompassing answer but a pause that seemed to carry the weight of the world with it. "I'm afraid that if I let the thoughts take a hold they will overwhelm me, that bad things will happen, but if I ignore them, then … well, then they will stay hidden."

"Jesse, if I told you I keep getting a pain in my side, that it started underneath my navel, but now it is further down in my abdomen on the right hand side, I've had it for a while now, but after about four hours it stops and I can forget all about it."

At first Jesse had been worried, thinking that Lauren was telling the truth, but now he had a feeling that she was just using this as an example. "I would say that you need to get yourself to the ER because you could have appendicitis."

"But it goes away, and if I don't think about it while it isn't hurting, well, everything is ok, so I just take a couple of strong painkillers, grab me a hot water bottle and wait for it to stop."

"But you if you keep doing that it could change to peritonitis and that can kill you." Jesse looked at her, she seemed worried, there was uncertainty around her eyes and he became concerned once more.

"You can't die from just a little pain, and the tablets make it stop."

"Lauren, is this real? Do you really get this pain, because if you do, I mean it, you really need to get it treated."

"Well, I guess that each time I get the pain it is a little worse than the time before, but in between there is no problem, and life is fine."

"Lauren!" Jesse was on his feet now and moving around the desk, even if he couldn't work in the ER at the moment, he was still a practicing doctor, he needed to check her out.

"Jesse, sit down, just sit down and listen to me." There was no room for argument in her tone and so Jesse did as he was told.

"I am fine, ok, you don't need to worry, just listen," Lauren smiled before continuing, "when your keep your fears hidden does it make them go away?" Lauren watched him shake his head, "and when something brings them to the surface are they worse than the last time, or can you control them?"

"I could … first of all it was just dreams, and I slept downstairs, away from Rae, she never knew how bad they got, she asked if I was sleeping ok, and I said that I was fine as long as I had the bed to myself."

"What changed it?" Lauren knew that she could drop small questions into the conversation, it had always worked before, in fact Jesse seemed to be aided by her doing so.

"I found a box, it used to have gauze wraps in it, and Eliana had taken them out. It must have gotten kicked under the table in the hallway and missed when we cleaned, and … and when I saw it there I was in Werner's garage." For a moment Jesse was silent, as if reliving the flashback again, and then he began to speak, very softly, and Lauren leant forward in her seat to hear him better.

"I didn't know where it was, not right off, I just knew it was a real scary place, and that something bad happened there. But each time that it happened I remembered more and more, I knew what had gone on, I could see it all, the … the cages, and the smell, I still don't know what it was, but it just smelt different …" He paused for a moment as if realising something for the first time. "Fear, maybe what I could smell was fear, I was just so scared, and I felt so bad about that, Jo was so brave, and I couldn't help her, he … he mutilated her, he made her put her finger into a guillotine and he pushed the blade down through her finger … and I couldn't help, I'm a man, I'm a doctor and I did nothing." The admission, some of which was being made for the second time in two days, was as far as Jesse got; he looked around him as if expecting something to fall on him too and then gradually, as if he was letting out a deeply held breath, began to relax.

"Jesse?" Lauren wasn't sure what was going on in her client's head, but something was, something more than just the relief of talking, more than an admission of sorts, and she waited, hoping that he would be able to tell her what it was.

"Sometimes, sometimes in the middle of the night when I was wide awake and unable to get back to sleep I would imagine myself in that garage, I thought that if I could think through the whole thing without feeling scared that I would be able to get on with my life, and I could do that you know, I really could."

"Do what?" Lauren was a little confused now, because she knew that the one thing that Jesse hadn't been able to do was get on with his life.

"I could think it all through without feeling scared. That bit didn't scare me, but now it does, when I told you now how I felt about Jo and what happened to her, I could feel the shame, the fear just like when I was there, so why does it feel … I don't know, better than not feeling at all?" Jesse looked at her, his face for once an open book showing his longing to understand.

"Jesse, you know that I think you are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, don't you?" Lauren knew she had told him, but he had, as he was now realising, been shutting out the thoughts he couldn't handle.

"Yeah, I know that."

"Well, what you are doing now is taking the first steps on the road to recovery. If you follow it all the way to the end you will be able to function like you did before all of this happened, and I think that is what you want isn't it?"

"Oh yes, but …" Jesse stopped talking and once again his feelings were etched on his face.

"But what?"

"How can I be like I was before? If I am then all I will be doing is denying that any of this happened, and that's what I've been doing all along."

Lauren smiled, "No, what you were doing before was detaching yourself from your feelings, but if you face them and move on then they take their place in your memory along with all your other memories and you can, to a certain extent, choose when to visit with them. Up until now you have cut yourself off from them so that you didn't have to accept them."

For a minute Jesse thought through what he had heard, said and done. "But today, today I told you things voluntarily, like I did with Amanda, and … I survived." His face broke into a happy smile, one which, for the first time in a very long while, reached all the way to his eyes.


	21. What are Little Girls Made of?

**A/n. **Once again my scene breaks are being stripped from the chapters. If anyone has any idea how I can stop this happening I would be very grateful if they could contact me. Thank you. Tracy

**Chapter Twenty One – What Are Little Girls Made Of?**

The moment Jesse stepped out of Lauren's office reality hit him. What was he doing standing in a hospital hallway when his daughter was lying in intensive care? He broke into a run and made his way towards the bank of elevators in front of him, two minutes later he was standing just out of sight of Anneya's room.

It had all seemed so simple when he had been in the elevator, he would walk into the room, smile at Rae and sit down, but now, now that he was here, it was different. His consultation with Lauren had been exhausting, and usually he would have the luxury of sleeping after something like that, but today, instead, he had to face his greatest fears, both of them together, and he wasn't sure if he could do that.

Rae, she was the number one fear, everything that he was trying to hide away from came rushing to the surface if he saw her, thought of her, even if he just saw an object that reminded him of her. It wasn't something he could deal with right now, but neither was his second fear, which was being unable to protect his children from danger. Eliana had been taken, she had been kidnapped from this very hospital, and he hadn't done anything to stop it. And now his youngest daughter was dangerously ill, and he couldn't do anything about that either. "Dammit, this just isn't fair!"

"Jesse?" Rae's voice was quiet but strong, and she came to the doorway of the room she was in and smiled at him. "Hi, Honey, do you want me to go?"

"Yes … no, yes, I don't know, Rae, I just don't know." He moved a little closer to her, he could do this, he had to do it, for himself, for his child, especially for his child. "Can we try, like we did before?"

"Of course. If you go and sit closest to Anneya, I'll use the chair by the door, that way I won't disturb you any more than I have to when I leave." Rae wanted desperately to reach out, to just touch him, but she didn't dare.

"I … I need to talk to you, I don't know if I can, but I want to try."

"Ok, what is it that you want to say?" Rae could feel her heart beating loudly, and she clenched her fists behind her so that Jesse wouldn't see how keyed up she was.

Jesse looked at her, now she had asked him, he had no idea what he did want to say. The silence stretched out in front of him, and he longed to fill it, but he had no words to put his feelings into and so he sat, watching his daughter, not daring to look at his wife and wishing with all his heart that she would leave.

Steve looked at his watch, ever since Jo had called him he'd been wondering what it was she'd found. It was only eleven-thirty in the morning, and he wasn't sure if his curiosity could wait until six o clock to be satisfied. Cheryl had been right, it could be another oil well, with his wife and her background it could be almost anything he could think of and probably quite a few things he couldn't.

With a sigh he pulled himself back to the moment and looked at the computer screen in front of him. He was trying to work out a release to send to the newspapers and then he was going to write another one to send to all the California police departments to see whether they had any similar cases, solved or unsolved, to their red rose killer, on their books.

The profile that Ron had worked out for Rae and himself was printed out beside him and he cast his eyes over it once more. The description was quite specific and he wasn't sure that he was as totally convinced of its accuracy as Rae was, but he could definitely see the merits of having the benefit of its information. Steve smiled, he hated computers too, but they were invaluable to his job and he had a feeling that to discard what Ron had come up with would be just as big a mistake as not joining the technological age.

Slowly the press release took shape before his eyes, and he had to admit to being pleased with it. Nadine's photo would be on the release, as would details of Jenna and where she had been buried. The conversation that Steve had with the parents of the dead girl had been traumatic but, in the end, they'd been anxious to do anything to expedite the capture of their child's killer.

_"Lieutenant, we realise that you want to close this case as soon as possible, but the details that you are asking for, they … well they seem like just one more injustice being done to our little girl." Mrs Palmerton had spoken quietly, but the concern and desperation had been evident in her words._

_"Yes, Ma'am, I realise that, but my partner and I have liaised with the FBI on this, and one of their profiling experts feels that if we can give the killer some more personal information about one, at least, of his victims, help him to get closer to her, we might get him to come out into the open and we can apprehend him before he kills again." Steve wished that Rae was with him, but Anneya was unwell, and so she had stayed home with her child._

_"He already killed her, how much closer do you think he can get?" Mr. Palmerton was a large man, probably 6'3" or 4" and his voice was deep and once again full of emotion. "What do you think he will do with any information we release?"_

_Steve tried to keep the shudder he felt inside of him. He knew what the killer would probably do at the graveside of their daughter, but he thought that it would be better to keep the information as sketchy as possible._

_"Sir, Ma'am, this man will still feel a link to your daughter, I know this is something that you will find hard to deal with, but I am trying to explain it from his point of view." Steve had stopped talking for a moment and paused in case either parent wished to speak. _

_Mr Palmerton had shaken his head and insisted. "Please go on, Lieutenant Sloan."_

_"Sometimes he will go out to kill and be unable to do so, or it may be an anniversary of your daughter's death, not necessarily a year, it maybe a month or two months, or even an anniversary that you or I wouldn't think to include, and he will feel compelled to return either to the scene of the crime, or if that isn't possible, to another place that makes him feel close to his victim. We don't have the manpower to keep an eye on these locations all the time, but in the case of where your daughter … where your daughter was found, it is a reasonably open piece of land and I can make sure that patrols take it in regularly."_

_"And her grave?__ That isn't somewhere easily accessible, and to be perfectly frank about this, I'm not sure that I want any Tom, Dick or Harry being able to go and see where … where my baby … where my little girl … is buried. I'm sorry." Mr. Palmerton had stood up then and made his way out into the back yard, and Steve had felt so for him._

_"Ma'am, it isn't our intention to upset you in any way, but we need your help, we can't move this investigation on in the direction we want it to go without your permission."_

_"Lieutenant, do you have children of your own?"_

_"Yes, Ma'am, I have a fifteen-year-old son." Steve had managed to keep back the grin that usually accompanied his thinking of Daniel._

_"Well then, maybe you can understand a little of what we are feeling." Mrs Palmerton was obviously in tight control of her emotions, but Steve knew that like her husband it wouldn't take much for her to fall apart._

_"Will you just talk it through when I've gone? I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think it was important."_

_Mrs Palmerton had smiled slightly then and nodded her head, "Yes, Lieutenant, we will do that."_

Steve had received a call from Mr. Palmerton that morning giving his permission for all the information Steve had requested to be made public. Steve had thanked him, and hung up, not wanting to embarrass or distress the man any further, but he was impressed by the quiet bravery that the couple were showing and he hoped that the sacrifice of their privacy wouldn't be in vain. He began to check over what he had written when he heard his name being spoken and looked up in surprise.

"Steve, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Rae? What are you doing here?" Steve shot out of his seat and moved over to her side in an instant. "Anneya, is she … Rae, why are you here?" He didn't know how to word his fears and so Steve fell back on asking the obvious.

"She's still unconscious, but closer to the surface than she was." Rae closed her eyes for a moment, she had wanted to be where she felt safe, where she could be of some use, but now she wondered whether she should have come. "Steve, Jesse couldn't even speak to me, and I didn't want to make him feel worse than he does, so I said I would work for a couple of hours and then go back … He hates me, Steve, he hates me so much that he can't even bear to be in the same room with me when our daughter is dangerously ill." Rae could feel the tears trying to break free but she had no intention of letting them succeed.

Steve wasn't sure what to do but he could see his partner battling with her emotions and knew that he had to say something. "No, Rae, I don't think it's as simple as that." He didn't want to betray Jesse's confidence, but he didn't really understand himself why Jesse couldn't just talk things through with his wife.

"He told me … before … before Anneya was ill … he told me that he wished he'd never met me, that things were way better before I came along …" Again she closed her eyes, and this time she fought all her feelings back and when she opened them there was a resolution about her, a strength that hadn't been there before. "I don't want to talk about it any more. I want to work for two hours and then go back to my baby."

"What about Ana? Shouldn't you go and spend time with her?" Steve was surprised and not a little worried that Rae didn't want to go and see her other daughter.

"I … I can't, right now I can't deal with her, she will be cheerful and happy, I … I know I should, but I can't." Rae turned away and wiped at her eyes, she then moved round so that she could see what Steve had been typing. "Hey, this looks great." Rae sat in Steve's chair and he knew not to say or do anything that would take her out of work mode until it was time for her to return to the hospital.

Jo had called the company where she had all her boxes stored and, to speed herself along a little, had arranged to have five of them delivered every three days. Even then it was going to take her forever to go through them all. The box with the gems in was now in the safe and Gilbert was arranging to have her insurance increased to unlimited coverage. Suddenly she needed to see the jewels again; she hurried over to the painting on the wall, moved it to one side, opened the mechanised door, took them back out and put the box onto the table.

Some of the jewels, she knew, would be described as semi precious, and Jo thought that she might have something made with them. She wished that Steve wore jewellery, but she knew that to have anything other than a tie-tack for when he wore his best suit or cufflinks for his tuxedo shirt commissioned for him would be a waste and it would just sit in the drawer.

As Jo ran her fingers through the different stones, enjoying the feel of them once again she caught sight of something white in the bottom of the box and so she tipped it up and watched as the contents slid out with a very satisfying noise onto the table. It was a folded piece of paper, and Jo knew it would be for her before she even opened it.

My dear Josephine,

So, you have finally made your way through the attic at the ranch. I wonder how long it has taken you, and whether you have opened the boxes as you found them or done as I would do and gone straight for the locked room.

Whatever way you have gone about it, you have, quite literally, found the jewel in the Walter's crown. As I am sure that you will have realised by now, there is a whole lot of money in this box. I don't really know why we did it this way, but over the decades all the Walters' women bought gem stones to put in here. It was kind of a nest egg in case the oil or cattle businesses failed, and was only to be used in an emergency.

I guess you can probably tell that the emergency never happened, but I still put a new stone in the box every year on the anniversary of your daddy's birth and I will continue to do so. Something tells me that the emergency will never go away, and we may one day be mighty glad we have this to fall back on. Sweetie, if you have another child, or if you are married now, choose a date and buy a stone every year that you can afford it.

You can, of course, dip into it if times are hard, but you need to keep a list of the value of the stones you take.

My darling child, before you put the box somewhere safe (and by that I mean some place close at hand), have fun with it. Run your fingers through the stones, watch the light through them, they are a beautiful gift of God that has been turned into something entirely different through the greed of man, I guess sometimes we need to remember that.

Josephine, just thinking of a time when we won't be together makes me feel very sad, I pray that by the time you read this you will be happy and content and that I was a very old woman when I passed on.

You have all my love as always

Florence Walters

Jo read through the letter again and then wiped her eyes. The notes that she found from her grandmother never failed to reduce her to tears, and she wished with all her heart that the woman had felt able to share these things with her while she had still been alive.

Jo wondered what had made the Walters' clan begin to hide away a priceless provision for the future. Her interest suddenly piqued she pulled her laptop around the pile of sparkling gems in the middle of the table and logged onto the internet.

It didn't take her long to find the site that she wanted, and very soon her eyes were almost popping out of her head. Jo had been surrounded by wealth her whole life, and she knew that she was sometimes guilty of taking the trappings for granted, but the type of diamonds that she had recognised from her box were, by themselves, worth just over $800,000.00 and she didn't dare look at the pages with the rubies, emeralds or sapphires on them. One diamond on the page caught her eye, and she searched through the stones on the table for a moment before returning to the screen. The stone was black, but it was still a diamond. There was no black diamond in the collection before her, and so she put it into the shopping cart on the page, then, not really believing what she was doing Jo went through the payment details, and five minutes later she had bought her first jewel for the box and her credit card was $5,250.00 lighter than it had been. She would, in future, make sure that each year on, or as near as possible to, the day that Daniel was formally adopted, purchase a stone in his name.

As she closed down the computer Jo heard the familiar sound of her son returning from his first day at school as Daniel Sloan, and so she went out to greet him.

"Hi, Honey, how was your day?" Jo couldn't stop the beam which crossed her face as she looked at the tall, no longer neat and tidy, boy before her.

"It was good, I gave the letter in at the principal's office and his secretary said she would make sure that Mr Wallis got it. I changed the name on all my stuff, and the other kids were real nice about it, y'know, I thought they might be a bit funny, but they weren't. How about you, did you have an interesting day? And Anneya, how is Anneya?"

"She moved her hand this mornin' but I haven't heard anythin' since then, so I'm guessin' there has been no change, an' yeah, you could say I've had an interestin' day, come an' look at what my grandmamma left me."

Daniel couldn't believe what he was seeing, on the table there must be over a hundred jewels. He guessed that the white ones were diamonds, green, emeralds, red, rubies, but there were blue ones, yellow, even pink ones. "Wow!" He shook his head in amazement, "you know, life sure is different living here."

Rae had received a call on her cell phone just over an hour after she arrived at the station; it had been Alex telling her that Anneya had opened her eyes. Steve, seeing the state the call had put her in insisted on driving her over in her car, saying that he could get a lift home from his dad.

Rae had only just managed to wait until the car was stationary before leaping out of it and racing into the hospital. Steve had followed at only a slightly more sedate pace, and because he was so much taller than she, had arrived at the elevator just as Rae did.

The doors opened almost immediately, but still it seemed to take forever to get to the PICU and Rae was almost too scared to leave the elevator when it finally did arrive. As the doors opened though and both Steve and Rae heard Anneya cry out she ran into the room, stopping only when she had no place else to go.

"Alex, Jesse, what happened, is she gonna be ok now?" Rae looked at the two anxious faces in front of her, and the fear rushed up in her once more.

"Rae, sit a minute and let me explain." Alex put his hand on her arm and guided her to the nearest chair; out of the corner of her eye she saw Mark come and direct Steve off towards the elevator once again, and as she lost sight of him she forgot him too.

"Can I hold her? I just want to hold my baby." Rae looked up into the kind eyes of her doctor and realised that she was too scared to read him.

"In a minute, listen to me first. She came round about ten minutes before I called you, Jesse was with her, and she just slowly woke up. I need to run some tests on her, to see what follow up treatment she will need, but she's gonna be in the hospital for another ten days at least."

"Ten days, Alex, no." Rae's face mirrored the horror she felt.

"Rae, listen," Alex gently shushed her and then continued to talk, "I told you when she arrived that she would need to finish a course of antibiotics for the ear infection she had, and that she would need to be monitored very carefully, she still does. The main danger is over, but she is still very ill, and has to be treated that way."

"I … I'm sorry." Rae looked down at her feet, she was still so scared for her daughter, but somehow she had thought that when Anneya came round that all the main problems would be over.

"Rae." Alex spoke again.

"Yes?"

"Now, you can hold her." He smiled at her, and then carefully turned, picked up his small patient, who opened her eyes at the unexpected movement, and gently wrapped a blanket around her before handing her to her mom. Anneya was obviously still unaware of her surroundings and she just leant into Rae's body, closed her eyes and was still again.

"Oh, Honey, Mummy has been so worried about you, Daddy too, but it will all be ok now, everything will be fine." There was no reaction from the little girl, and Rae gently ran her finger down the soft cheek of her child and then brushed the pale blonde hair away from her face. Anneya opened her eyes again, just for a moment, smiled a half smile and then gave a sigh and snuggled a little tighter against her mom.

Mark had filled Steve in on the condition of Anneya and then driven his son to the station to get his car. The mood was considerably lighter than it had been the last time the two Sloans had been together, and they had chatted happily all the way to North Hollywood. Steve mentioned that Jo had called him about a discovery she had made, and when he saw how his dad's eyes lit up had invited him for dinner, knowing that Michael would always have enough for one more person.

Michael had been crossing the hallway when he had seen the beam from Steve's car light up the front of the property and then another vehicle drive in behind the first. He stood in the open doorway as the two men walked towards him.

"Lieutenant, welcome home, Sir, Madam is in the breakfast room and asked me to direct you straight there. Doctor Sloan, how nice to see you again, will you be staying for dinner?"

"Grandpa! Grandpa, come see what Mom has!" Daniel's voice came rushing out of the breakfast room just before he did, and then another voice joined in.

"Unki Teve, Unki Teve, pwetty, look at v pwetty fings." Eliana was soon pulling on her favourite uncle's hand, totally ignorant of what she was taking him to, but knowing that both Aunty Jo and 'Danl' liked them.

"Hi, Honey, look what I found." Jo was suddenly embarrassed by the riches in front of her, and when she saw the look on her husband's face she knew she had good reason to be.

Steve couldn't actually believe what he was seeing and shook his head as he spoke. "I think I would have preferred an oil well."

"I beg your pardon? What did you just say?" Jo stared at him.

"Nothing, my God, Jo, there's a small fortune sitting on our dining table."

"Not so small, actually," Jo said sheepishly. "I have to have everythin' appraised, but I'm sure it's well over two million dollars."

Eliana had climbed up onto chair and now she reached over and picked up a handful of the stones and then let them fall to the table. The feeling and the noise made her giggle and as they bounced and pinged all over the place Steve shook his head again and, trying to ignore the heaviness he was feeling inside, he picked her up and left the room.

Mark watched him go, listening as his son promised the little girl a glass of milk and one of Michael's sugar cookies, and then he turned and placed an understanding hand on Jo's shoulder.

"I knew he wouldn't really like them, but I couldn't not show him could I?" Jo felt hot tears sting her eyes. She couldn't help being as rich as she was, and she had always known that Steve had a problem with it, the scene right back at the beginning of their relationship when he had accused her of using him until someone richer came along was still painfully vivid in her mind.

"No, Honey, I guess not, but maybe a little warning might have helped. Something along the lines of, before you come in there's a couple of million dollars worth of jewels on the table, that sort of thing." Mark smiled as he spoke and then pulled his daughter-in-law into a hug.

"I'll put them away in the safe, an' then we can have dinner, Mark, you will stay won't you?" Jo's voice was a little muffled as she spoke into her father-in-law's chest.

"Yes I will, and ,Sweetie, Anneya came round."

"Oh, Mark, that's just wonderful …" The room was suddenly silent as Jo felt the guilt which had been tapping away at her all day suddenly overwhelm her. "I … I was so caught up in my own little world that I never even asked … Does that mean that the danger is over?"

"No, not quite, she is still gonna be in PICU for a while, but things are a lot more positive than they were. Now, let's go get some of those sugar cookies before Eliana eats them all up!"

Mark watched as carefully Jo put all the stones back into their box, including a few which were sparkling on the floor, and then she fastened the lid of what was obviously an everything-proof box. He had a feeling that fire nor flood would even make a dent in it, even so he still had to ask. "Wouldn't it be better if you kept that in a bank vault?"

"No, I don't think so, Mark, there was a letter with it, an' I got the feelin' that the bank was the last place that these stones should be." Jo handed over the piece of paper which she had purposely left out of the box before returning it to its new home.

Mark read through what Florence Walters had written and then handed the note back to Jo. "I see what you mean; I guess then that your safe is as safe a place as any. Sorry." Mark chuckled as he realised what he had said and then wanting to change the subject and knowing that he had a very easy way of doing it he turned to his grandson. "And so young man, how does it feel to be a Sloan?"

Jesse had stayed with Anneya for as long as he could after Rae returned from the station, but by eleven in the evening he was so tightly wound that he knew he had to leave. Not wanting to actually go anywhere other than the hospital he had found his way to the sleep room in the ER doctors' lounge and slept there, his body and his mind finally getting the rest it had craved since he had begun to unburden himself to Lauren in a session that now seemed a lifetime away.

Rae had watched over Anneya almost all night. She had stolen away between the hours of two and four in the morning to stretch her legs and get some cool air, and her wanderings had taken her to the hospital chapel. It had been so peaceful and free from worry and concern there that she had sat in one of the pews at the back and prayed for the health of her children and for her husband, asking that he might find strength and peace, because Rae knew that whatever his problems were, he was going to need one to reach the other.

Her daughter didn't appear to have stirred while she had been away, and so Rae had settled down in the chair again and watched over her as she slept, hoping that the little girl would realise just how much she loved her.

It was just after nine the following morning when Anneya opened her eyes again and stared at her mother. Rae was almost too scared to move, the brief time the little girl had been awake the day before had become almost dreamlike in Rae's memory, but now she had done it twice. Rae knew that speaking would break the spell that both of them were under, and so for a minute she kept still and mother and child watched each other, and then, knowing that Jesse and Alex would need to be told, Rae pressed the buzzer before leaning over to kiss her daughter and welcome her to a new day.


	22. A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

**A/N **Even though the scene breaks problem is apparently solved it's still not working for me, so once again I apologise. Tracy

**Chapter Twenty-Two – A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words**

The newspaper lay on the breakfast table and Matthew tried not to look at it. The article had photos of two of Dominic's beautiful girls in it, and it told him more things about Jenna than he had known before. Two of those things were that she was clever, real clever, and she liked to surf.

The beach, he hadn't been there in a long time, maybe he should go, it was a little cold for sure, but there was something enervating about it, maybe he would meet someone nice, it was a long time since he had found a friend of his own. He decided then and there to head for Venice when he had finished Dominic's business at the police station. Before that though he needed to clip the article out of the paper and put it with Jenna's things just as Dominic would do. Nadine, Nadine was there in the article too, which was a worry, but he would just buy another copy of the paper, worry solved. With a smile Matthew got the scissors out of the kitchen drawer and began to cut carefully around the article, the look on his face one of contented concentration.

Steve read through the article, headlined under '**_Red Rose Killer Victim not at Peace.'_**

****

_Jenna Palmerton was a straight 'A' student, valedictorian at the high school she'd attended in __Santa Monica__. She wanted to work with kids who were less advantaged than she was, and her dream was well on the way to coming true as she had recently started work for an international children's charity._

_Her dreams and those of her parents, friends and family were shattered though, when she became the first victim of the man police have called The Red Rose Killer, a reference to the flower left in the hand of his victim._

_Jenna lived her life to the full, sharing a house with her cousin and indulging in her hobbies of surfing and running. She was remembered in a service which endeavoured to be a cheerful celebration of a life cut tragically short. Her body now lies in St Katherine's Cemetery, __Santa Monica__, but her parents and the detective leading the case know that until her killer is caught she will never be truly at peace._

_Lieutenant Steve Sloan, an experienced police officer, who has worked homicide for over twenty years, but says you never get used to the job, is in charge of Jenna's murder enquiry and the subsequent cases involving the killings of Samantha Morrison and Nadine Browton, he spoke briefly to our reporter._

_"No one deserves to have their life cut short, and Jenna, Samantha and Nadine all had a right to expect to live their lives in safety. That didn't happen, and the least we can do is catch the person responsible. We have a good idea of who we are looking for in relation to these killings and we are confident of making an arrest in the not too distant future."_

_If anyone has any information on the murders of Jenna Palmerton, Samantha Morrison or Nadine Browton they should contact their local police station or alternatively call Lieutenant Sloan or Detective Yeager at North Hollywood, Homicide Division._

Steve wasn't sure if he actually spoke like the article was written, but if it got the job done he didn't care. The reporter that he had discussed the article with had taken a few notes and assured him that she would add just a couple of lines to get his point across. She had done that, and now he had to hope that Ron was right and it would make their killer become a little less elusive.

Dominic had watched the station in North Hollywood for a couple of days and he now knew when the mail was delivered to the station, and when the desk sergeant took it round to the various departments.

He timed his entrance so that he arrived just before the woman working the desk should be ready to take the post upstairs. He shuddered slightly and moved quickly across to where he could see there was no queue and smiled nervously.

"Hi, I … I think I need to speak with someone who handles robbery." Matthew didn't have to try to sound anxious, he was almost totally terrified, and wished he was any place than where he was. Dominic couldn't do this, he'd been seen by both cops, and if one of them happened to speak with him, well it would be all over, but they hadn't seen him, hadn't spoken to him and so there had been no arguing, he had to do it.

"I'm about to head up to homicide and robbery; I can get an officer to come speak with you if you'll give me some details first." Alison was on duty, and she put the pile of mail underneath the counter so no prying eyes could see it, and then pulled an incident report form towards her. Five minutes later she looked up and smiled.

"Ok, Mr. Little, like I said I'm going upstairs right now, so if you would just wait a minute I'll see what I can do." Alison looked at the young man in front of her, he seemed so scared that she had been slightly concerned that he might pass out cold right there in the lobby.

Matthew smiled, he knew that the next part was the bit he hated the most, but he also knew that Dominic would get real mad if he didn't do it correctly.

Steve put the newspaper into his in tray and then he headed over to the coffee machine to get himself a hot drink. Cheryl was standing there, a far away look in her eyes and he blew just in front of her face, making her jump.

"Sloan, don't!"

"Sorry, but you were miles away." Steve smiled; he had known exactly what she was going to say.

Cheryl looked a little sheepish, "Yeah, I guess I was. It's just that Martin is being assessed today, you know ready for the long weekend ventures into real life?"

"And you would have liked to be there with him, but you came in because Rae is out, and now the room is half dead and you wish you'd mentioned it."

"Yeah, something like that, you know you're good, Sloan, ever think about being a cop?" Cheryl smiled as she spoke, and then raised her hand in acknowledgement as Alison entered the room.

"Nah, the hours are lousy. Hi, Alison, got anything for me?" Steve moved away from Cheryl, and then a frown crossed his face. "Um, you seem to have attracted a crowd."

"What?" Alison looked around, "Oh, for goodness sake." She moved back over to where her follower stood. "Mr. Little, I told you I would find someone, that doesn't mean you come up the stairs with me."

"I … I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything wrong, I've never been robbed before, I am finding it a little … little traumatic." Matthew looked around, his eyes darting back and forth as he did so.

Cheryl shook her head and moved across the room. "Alison, don't give it another thought, I'm free right now, I'm sure I can help Mr … Little was it?" She watched as the man, who, although not small, looked very little, nodded his head and then she indicated that he should sit in front of her desk and, picking up a fresh cup of coffee, Cheryl went to join him.

Steve smiled to himself, the guy looked like he would take all morning to tell his ex-partner what he knew, which would at least keep Cheryl's mind off of Martin. "What do you have for me, Alison? Oh, and I'll take Rae's again too."

"Not much, couple of letters. How's her little girl?" Alison smiled; she liked Rae Yeager, and was worried about her daughter, just as most of the cops in the precinct who had children were.

"Better, she regained consciousness yesterday, and so things are improving." Steve found that he couldn't control the smile that crossed his face.

"Oh, I am so glad. Give her my best when you see her. Here you go your mail and Rae's." Alison put the two small piles down, one on top of the other and then turned and made her way towards the other end of the room to deliver the rest of the post.

Steve decided that a cup of coffee was still his top priority and so he headed back towards the refreshment area, eavesdropping on Cheryl's conversation as he did so.

"I just left them outside for a minute, but when I came back, well, they weren't there any longer." The man was sitting looking at Cheryl and didn't even glance up when Steve walked by, his hands were held primly in his lap, and he was obviously very nervous.

"I see, well, I've taken down the details and I'm sure we can have our patrols keep a look out." Cheryl tried to seem interested and efficient, but she knew that a couple of suitcases left on a front step were never going to be seen again.

"What the …?"

Cheryl looked up from her note taking as she heard Steve call out from his desk. He looked … well, furious, and she excused herself for a moment and moved across to him. "Steve, are you ok?"

"What? Oh, yeah, but look, Cheryl, look at this." Steve carefully turned a photograph around by its corner so that she could see what had made him so jumpy. "That's Rae and me at Red's, the nightclub where Jenna Palmerton was last seen before she was killed. And we sure didn't ask anyone to take our picture." Steve ran his hand through his hair, he didn't like the implications of this one little bit. "He was there, watching us, taking pictures, and we had no idea… Dammit!" Steve slammed his fist down onto the table and only just resisted the temptation to clear his desk of its contents with one sweep of his arm.

"Let me get rid of Mr Little and then I'll come back, ok?" She was answered only with a curt nod, and so Cheryl went back to her own desk and began to talk. "Sir, I have all the details of what happened to you, as well as a telephone number, we'll stay in touch."

"Yes, and thank you, Detective, for your time. I … I won't keep you any longer." Matthew held his hand out and then shook Cheryl's before glancing nervously around him and leaving the squad room.

Rae had watched as Alex took bloods from her daughter, as well as checking the catheter that was draining her waste. He said very little to her while he was working but he kept up a quiet conversation with Anneya the entire time. It was difficult for her to gauge his reactions as he had his back to her, and so Rae just listened hoping that things were still getting better.

"Ok, Honey. I am gonna just change this bag over, this is the stuff that's making you all better, and you know, if you keep on like this I think we might move you to intermediate care by, ooh, maybe the end of the week."

Anneya didn't seem to be at all interested in life, but Rae knew that her daughter was still critically ill. She took no notice of anything or anyone, not what Alex was doing or saying, not even giving him her attention when he crossed her eye line, but the young man carried on with his tasks, touching her gently and still chatting to her. She occasionally opened her eyes and just stared at her mother, and Rae, not wanting to break Alex's concentration, smiled and waited in the doorway until he had finished.

Finally after about fifteen minutes the young man ran his gloved finger down the cheek of his patient and then turned to Rae. "Ok, she's all yours again. There is slow but steady progress. She is a little more alert than she was, a little more responsive too, I am happy with how it is going." Alex saw the tears rush to Rae's eyes and she moved closer to him.

"Really?"

"Rae, I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it, you know that. I can't say for definite that there won't be setbacks, but if she carries on like this for the next few days then she will be well on the road to recovery." Alex smiled and then looked back down at his little charge.

"She is so quiet, so unresponsive; I guess that's to be expected though, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I would say so. She really was very close to death, Rae, we'll just have to keep an eagle eye on her, but I would do that anyway."

"I know, and she has a doctor for a daddy, so she can't escape it." Rae smiled, she had to smile when she thought of Jesse, otherwise the emotions became too negative and she didn't think she could handle negative right now.

Captain Newman looked at the picture and then back at his Lieutenant. "Well, apart from saying that you make a cute couple, what do you want me to do?"

Steve looked at him in disgust for a moment and then began to speak. "I want you to … to …" He stopped, what did he want him to do? "I guess I should let Rae know; this has to be our guy, doesn't it?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, I would think that Detective Yeager should be alerted and yes I think he is your guy." The Captain picked up a piece of paper from the desk in front of him and Steve knew that there would be no further conversation and so he turned to leave the office.

"I can't believe that this happened, we were so careful, and Newman doesn't even want to discuss it." Steve had made sure he was out of earshot before he began to speak, but part of him wished his boss could hear him.

"Steve, even you didn't know what you wanted him to do, he doesn't have the time to be involved in every case, and let's face it, we wouldn't want him snooping around all the time would we?" Cheryl stopped walking and faced her friend.

"No, I guess not, but that doesn't make it right."

Cheryl decided that it would be a good idea to try and get back to the actual matter at hand. "I can't see anyone else sending this to you, it must be him." Cheryl had come into the Captain's office with Steve and picked up the copy of the picture which had been sitting on the desk as they'd left the room, the original, which was now filed away for safe keeping had been dusted for prints, but none had been found. "I don't suppose you saw anyone taking your photo."

"Cheryl, it was a club, people were snapping away all the time, but no one offered to take our picture, and no one made us as cops."

"Yeah, right." Cheryl laughed.

"What?" Steve turned his voice and stance both instantly defensive.

"Sloan, I hate to disillusion you, but even in a bath towel you'd look like a cop!" Cheryl winked at him as she headed back towards her desk and almost jumped out of her skin as he followed her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Don't do that!"

"Cheryl, when have you ever seen me in a bath towel?"

"Now, that would be telling." Cheryl sat down, and picked up her now cold cup of coffee, pulled a face at it and tried to head for the coffee machine, but found her way barred by the unmovable presence of her ex-partner.

"So tell then, or I stand here all day." Steve put his hands on his hips and stared down at her.

"Works for me, I don't want to do anything anyway." For a few seconds there was impasse, but then Cheryl laughed. "Ok, there was this one time, when you were still living at the beach and, well I knocked, but got no reply and I had to see you, and boy, did I see you! Just out of the hot tub and …"

"You saw me …" Steve tried to remember back to when Cheryl had done as she said, and felt, to his horror, a blush rush up his face. If Cheryl had seen him in a towel he'd been lucky, he usually wore less than that by the hot tub.

Cheryl watched her partner as he turned a delicate shade of red and took pity on him. "Steve, I've never seen you in a bath towel, but you're so obviously a cop that I just know you would still look like one."

"What? Why you…"

"Mind you, Rae looks like a cop too." Cheryl had a feeling she should start talking again pretty quickly.

"Oh, she does not." Steve was amazed now, he thought one of Rae's attributes was that she was small, a little vulnerable looking, and definitely not cop-like.

"Steve, she is supremely confident when she's working. She is always well prepared, and when her personal life doesn't intrude on her working one, or vice versa, she is in control of the situations she finds or puts herself in, and she just … looks like a cop."

Steve shook his head, he had never thought of himself as looking like a cop, and without her shoulder holster he didn't think Cheryl looked like one either, but he was beginning to realise that maybe he wasn't so good at deciding who did and didn't look that way.

"What about Ron?" Cheryl could see Steve was looking a little uncomfortable, but as soon as she spoke he grinned.

"Oh, definitely a Fed, no doubt about it!"

With a laugh Cheryl moved around him to get her coffee, speaking again and walking a little faster as she did so. "Mind you the captain was right about one thing, you did make a cute couple!"

The week passed slowly for everyone; Jo emptied five crates and then filled them back up again. She realised that without a plan there was no point in emptying or even looking at the contents of the attic. Instead of taking everything out and deciding right away what to do with it, she began to make a list of the different type of items she had inherited, hoping that somehow inspiration would strike and she would know what to do with it all.

Jesse had returned to work in the ER on a full time basis on the Wednesday, only to be instantly put on compassionate leave by Mark so that he could spend time with his child. Alex had asked him to make the regular checks that Anneya needed, and gradually he had found that this way he was able to stay in the room with Rae without the overwhelming panic that usually accompanied him on such visits.

Rae had said very little to her husband, she needed his presence in her life, but even more so she needed him to be with their little girl, and so she watched in silence as he went about his duties, and then kept her eyes averted from him as he sat, Anneya's hand in his, and tried to forget how loving and kind he had been on the other occasions when either their children or she had been ill.

Anneya had remained conscious but still for the entire week, sleeping soundly for most of the time and silently taking in the world around her for the remainder. She was getting some of her nutrients from an IV, and Rae knew that one of the things that Jesse was checking was the level of waste that the little girl was producing. She had made no move to eat or drink, and the head injury alone was bad enough, but if she became dehydrated then other problems could occur.

Finally on the Saturday, just after lunch, when Anneya had been in the same bed, in the same room for over a week, Rae could stand it no longer and as Jesse finished his checks she began to speak.

_"Jesse, please, tell me what you think. How is she doing? You've been in here with me for three to four hours almost every day this week and you haven't spoken to me at all, how can you do that?"_

_Rae ran her hands through her hair. The need to escape the room which had become her daughter's only hope had receded as the week progressed. Now, as she looked back, Rae couldn't believe that on the Monday she had gone to the station, that she had actually sat and worked for over an hour, before Alex had called her back. Her nightly visits to the chapel had continued though and Rae had found strength and solace there._

_Jesse had sat back down in his chair, leaving the chart on the bed and Rae realised that he expected her to pick it up and read it._

_"Jesse, just tell me, is she getting better? Alex hasn't been up yet today, the three lots of tests have all be done by you and I don't know anything, for goodness sake, just talk to me!"_

_Jesse had stood up after carefully laying the little hand of his child back on the bed. "She is doing as well as can be expected, Rae. Now, if you will excuse me."_

Rae had been speechless after Jesse left, and then unable to hide her grief any longer, she had pulled the blinds on the tiny room and kneeling down on the floor placed her head on the end of Anneya's bed and cried until she had no strength left to continue.

Steve had found her there at the end of his shift, fast asleep, the sheets damp underneath her and had called down for his dad to come up and sit with Anneya while Alex tried to persuade Rae to continue her sleep somewhere else.

The photo that had been received by Steve had been processed at an all night drug store just down the street from the station, and no one there could remember anything about the roll of film, or who had handed it in. The collection slip showed that cash had been paid for the pictures, and there were no discernable prints to be taken from it. Steve had decided that with everything else Rae was going through he wouldn't mention the photograph until she returned to work.

Steve had been working extra hours all week, not only because Rae wasn't around but also because the Night Owl burglary case that they'd been covering had become active again with three houses in the Beverly Hills area being targeted in four days. Jo had increased the security at her own home as well as Rae and Jesse's, even going so far as to have two dogs housed in Rae's garden, until they returned, to put off any would be thieves.

Cheryl had accompanied him to the café that Sam Morrison had visited for her lunch date with Dominic in the hope that maybe someone would remember something, and they had finally found the Moroccan restaurant that Nadine, and presumably Dominic, had eaten at.

None of this activity had been able to remove the nagging worry about not only Anneya but Rae and Jesse as well, from eating away at him, and when he had found Rae so exhausted that she could sleep kneeling up he knew that something had to give with Jesse before they moved so far away from each other that no one could save their marriage.

All this fled his mind on the Sunday morning though, when he finally had the chance to sleep in.

Jo had woken before him, and not wanting to disturb him in any way she had for a while lain where she was and watched him sleep. It was an activity that she thought she would never tire of, and as his chest rose and fell she smiled and snuggled a little deeper into the warmth that surrounded him.

Gradually though Jo began to realise that she wasn't feeling all that well, and that she really didn't want to be with him any longer. Quietly she slid out of bed and plucked her satin wrap from over the foot of the bed, slipping her feet into her slippers as she did so.

The house was quiet and still, and as Jo checked the clock in the hallway she realised why. It was just after five in the morning, so she must have been awake since a little before four. Now that she was downstairs Jo wasn't really sure what to do with herself. She could go and inventory another box, she could find some really naff film on TV, or she could wrap herself up in the soft throw from the back of the sofa in the living room and forget everything and everyone for a little while.

She must have fallen fast asleep because the sun was shining in through the window and birds were singing when she felt a hand on her shoulder and a familiar voice talking to her.

"Jo, Honey, why are you asleep down here?" Steve was crouched down in front of her, a look of amused concern on his face.

"Aunty Jo, Aunty Jo, cuddle." Eliana was with Steve and she pulled at the throw, moving it from Jo's shoulders.

"What? Where, oh, sorry." As Jo tried to sit up, the light from the window hit her eyes, she winced and tried to move away from it. As she did so she realised once again that she really didn't feel at all well. "I … I felt ill, an' I didn't want to worry you none, so I came down here."

The amusement fled Steve's face and he took her hand in his. "Do you want me to get Dad? Or call 911, Jo, what's the matter?" He put his arm around her shoulder and was concerned to feel her shiver a little.

"I … I don't know, I just feel, well ill I guess. It'll pass." Jo leant into the body of her husband, suddenly very glad that he was there.

"No, Jo, I'm gonna take you in to Community General, get Dad to look you over." Steve was helping her up as he spoke, but she dragged her heels.

"Steve, I can't go in my pyjamas, an' Honey, there is no way you can go wearin' what you are wearin'." As she stood Jo felt the room swim a little around her and she collapsed back onto the sofa.

"Jo!" The panic rose up in him, there was something wrong with his wife and instantly nothing else mattered. "Stay right there, I don't care what you're wearing, just stay there." Steve rushed from the room pulling Eliana with him and calling out as he did so. "Michael, Michael, come here, please." The fear he felt was probably unrealistic, but Anneya had been fine one minute and on life-support the next, he couldn't risk that happening to Jo.

"Yes, Sir, how may I be of assistance?"

"Jo isn't feeling well, I'm gonna take her to see Dad, could you call the beach house, make sure he will be at the hospital? And … and look after Ana too."

"Of course, Sir. May I suggest that you inform Master Daniel before you leave?"

"Michael, thank you." Steve was half way up the stairs before he had finished talking.

Rae had slept in Mark's office on the Saturday for the entire afternoon and evening, and Jesse had sat with Anneya, relieved that he was on his own and guilty that he felt that way. He couldn't believe that he had told his wife that their daughter was doing as well as could be expected, but he also couldn't help feeling a little pleased that he had been able to speak to her without falling apart.

Jesse knew that ordinarily the meeting he'd had with Lauren on the Monday should have been followed up with discussions about how things would carry on from there, but Anneya had to come first, he had to be with her, unfortunately that meant he had to be with Rae too, and he had a feeling that the two things together may have put paid to any chance of his explaining himself to his wife.

Rae had come back to the small PICU suite on the Saturday evening and Jesse had gone for a sleep himself. The short nap that he had planned had turned into a deep, healing sleep and it was half past four the next morning before he made his way back to the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit. Rae had been dozing in the chair when Jesse returned and for a little while they had sat in silence, not looking at each other, or even acknowledging that the other person was in the room, but suddenly Jesse had realised that he had to speak.

"Rae, please, help me." His words came out as the plea that they were, and he saw Rae look up sharply from where she had been gently stroking a finger over the back of Anneya's hand.

"Oh, Jesse, of course, I'll help you, I … I just don't know what you want me to do." Rae looked at him, the pain in her eyes a mirror of that in his own, and suddenly he wanted more than anything in the world to just reach out and touch her, but it scared him more than anything else in the world too.

"I don't know either, but I don't want you to hate me any more."

Rae swallowed hard and then slightly turned her chair so that she was facing Jesse. "I have never ever hated you, not since the day that you first introduced yourself to me. Jesse, I love you, but I don't know how to reach you… You told me you wish I'd never come here, how do I help you when you feel that way?"

Jesse closed his eyes, it was still true, but he knew it was the coward in him which was still holding on to those feelings, and he needed to get the things he had said that day, the things that had made him feel better about leaving, out of the way so he could get his life back to some sort of normality. If he'd blown his marriage then he would deal with that later, but now he just wanted to be able to talk to Rae, to hold her hand without needing to run and hide.

"Jesse?" Rae watched the face of the man she loved and she could see so much conflict, so much hurt, that in spite of herself she reached out and gently touched his hand.

"Oh, God, Rae, I'm sorry, I want to do this so much, but it is just too hard." Jesse stood up, slipping his hand out from under hers as he did so, but he didn't run, he didn't even leave the room he just moved over into the only empty corner and carefully lowered himself into it.

Steve had pulled on the first pair of jeans and top he found, spoken to Daniel, grabbed a skirt and blouse for Jo and been back downstairs just in time to see his wife making her way, a little shakily, towards him.

"Honey, put this on, and then we can go." He hadn't been at all worried about taking her in her nightwear, but he knew that she would want to be a little more properly attired, and his worry level increased even more when she shook her head.

"No, you're right, let's just go, I don't like feeling like this, Steve, I'm scared." There were tears on her cheeks, and Jo's shoulders heaved as she spoke, and then she hugged her husband tightly and Steve could feel her terror as she passed it on to him and a feeling that maybe she knew what was wrong but couldn't tell him chilled him to the bone.

"No problem, we'll just get in the car and drive." Steve tried to keep his voice positive and worry free, even though his heart was racing and he wasn't sure that he could even remember how to unlock the car let alone use it.

"Sir, Doctor Sloan left for the hospital about five minutes ago, he will meet you in the ER." Michael's face was lined with worry too, but his voice gave nothing away. "I will keep a very close eye on Master Daniel and Miss Eliana while you are away, you need not worry about them." Michael was carrying the little girl and he could see the young man standing, unsure of himself, at the top of the stairs, and suddenly Jo was aware of him too.

"Daniel, Son, I'll be fine, I promise you that."

He came rushing down the stairs then and almost knocked his parents over as he hugged them. "I … I love you, I love you both so much."

"I'll be home real soon, go on, let me take her." Steve's voice was soft and husky with emotion but it had the desired effect, the boy stepped back, and Michael placed an arm around his shoulders.

The journey to the hospital was made in silence, Steve had his blue light on his lap, and planned to use it should he hit any type of traffic, but the roads were almost deserted and they made very good time on a journey both of them knew off by heart. Steve pulled in to his regular parking space in the Doctors' lot, killed the engine, got out and rushed round to the passenger side to let Jo out. Her face was white, and he could tell that none of her fear had abated during the journey.

The throw from the back of the sofa was still around her shoulders, and Steve moved it slightly so that it continued to keep her warm, and then he guided her towards the ER department and the friendly face of his father.


	23. Journeys

**Chapter 23 – Journeys**

Rae looked at her daughter for a moment, taking in how she was lying, the fact that her eyes were closed and she seemed to be fast asleep, then she moved around the small bed and crouched down in front of Jesse and steadied herself by putting her hands on the floor where he could see them. "Jesse, does it make it harder if I'm this close?" Rae wasn't sure what the best thing to do was and she didn't want to make things worse.

"No, no, that's ok. I … I want to be able to be with you, I'm sorry." Jesse put his head in his hands and then ran his fingers through his hair; when he looked up again he tried a smile but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Ok, well, that's a start, isn't it? I mean, this time last week you didn't want to be in the same room with me, and now, well now look, we're sharing the same corner!" This time the smile that Rae got was a real one and she shifted position so that she was actually sitting on the floor. "Sorry, but I'm too old for crouching." Again she didn't want to scare him, and so every movement she made was being explained, as if, she realised, she was talking to a frightened child.

"Is … Is Anneya all right?" Jesse looked up and he could see his daughter, so small and still on the bed.

"Yes, she's sleeping, and I don't think either of us will be able to stay down on the floor for too long."

"No, you're probably right … Rae," He paused, not sure how to continue, but knowing he had to. "I'm having trouble sorting out my feelings, not just for you, but about me, about what happened, and I'm sure it's gonna take a good while yet before I'm ready to go back to how things were." Jesse stopped talking, he knew that however he worded this he was going to hurt her, but he also knew that if he stopped now, if he closed back down, then he may never be in a position to free himself of his problems with her again.

Daniel had wandered around the house like a lost soul for about an hour before Michael heard something smash and made his way speedily into the living room. A large clear glass dish was now a thousand pieces on the floor and Daniel was sitting in a chair, blood dripping from one of his hands and tears pouring down his face.

"Master Daniel, have your hurt yourself badly, Sir?" Michael silently cursed himself for letting the boy alone for too long. He had known that there would be myriad conflicting emotions in Daniel's head, but he had thought to leave him to sort things out for himself, at least for a while. Miss Eliana had needed care too, and he had ended up showing her how to make sugar cookies ready for lunch. She was now eating the results whilst sitting on the bottom stair where he had told her to stay. He knew from experience that she would do just as he told her, although he also knew that her obedience wouldn't last for long.

"No … M, I'm … ok." Daniel scrubbed at the tears with his uninjured hand and then took a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry about the glass, I'll clean it up in a minute, and I'll tell Mom what happened."

"Maybe you would like to tell me first, while we are cleaning up your hand and making sure that there is no crystal in it."

"Crystal? Oh, man, I broke an expensive one, huh?" He paused for a moment before speaking again. "Look around, how could it not be expensive?" The tone of the boy's voice was one that Michael couldn't place, and so he just indicated that Daniel should leave the room and then he closed the door on it so that Eliana couldn't hurt herself as well.

"Oh, poor, Danl, let Yana see." Eliana saw the way that Daniel was holding his hand and rushed to his side, her cookie forgotten. "Miss Amy says water good for bud."

Daniel had to smile; Miss Amy had become Eliana's constant companion since the little girl had started pre-school. He'd never had the chance to go to any type of kindergarten, in fact school had been a luxury, his birth mom had loved him, he knew that, but she hadn't seen the point in education and so some days he went, but most days he didn't. He'd certainly never hero-worshiped a teacher like Eliana did, and not for the first time he wondered what Miss Amy looked like.

Daniel's thoughts had taken him to the kitchen and Michael began to tend to his hand. Eliana pushed a cookie into the other one and smiled a big biscuit-crumby smile at him. "You eat, you poorly boy, you eat."

"Yes, Ma'am, whatever you say." Daniel nodded his head, but he felt a little sick and didn't really think he could face the gift he had just been given. Suddenly he winced as he felt Michael carefully work on the glass shards in his palm, but then smiled again at the little child now resting her hand on his leg and stroking it gently.

"Steve, Honey, please, sit down." Jo was sitting on the bed in the same private suite that she had been in when everyone had been infected by a secret pathogen that she had inadvertently spread amongst her friends. She felt incredibly tired, and wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and rest, but Steve was pacing up and down and she felt obliged to stay awake.

"I … I can't, I just need to know, Jo, how can it take so long? Dad knows how worried we are."

"Steve, he hasn't been gone long, now please, I just feel ill an' I want to know what is wrong so I can go home to bed." Jo lay back down and put her head on the cool pillow. She wasn't hot or feverish, but she was anxious, and still very tired.

Steve stood and watched as Jo's eyes finally closed, and he wondered if his constant movement had been what was keeping her awake. He sat back down on the sofa in the living area part of the room and tried not to think about the fact that his wife was in the hospital, he was supposed to be a big tough cop, and right now he was scared to death.

Jo's breathing quietened and evened out and Steve got to his feet once more, but he moved into the hallway before he recommenced his pacing, knowing that he would disturb her otherwise. The room next to Jo's was, he remembered, where he had slept just the one night while they waited to see whether anyone else was infected with whatever it was Jo had been carrying. He recalled going to bed, and then nothing, not until he woke up feeling as though he'd had an exceptionally good night's sleep and finding instead that he had been at death's door. _Death's door_ he had to stop thinking that way, she felt ill and hadn't slept well and here he was pacing a corridor and definitely over-reacting.

Looking back the trip to the beach had been futile, it had been cold, and windy, once he'd gotten on the sand and Dominic hadn't enjoyed himself at all, he guessed sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. He had decided instead to go back to Santa Monica Place, sitting there calmed and refocused him. The time hadn't been totally wasted, Matthew had done as he had been told to at the police station, but Dominic wanted some more action, life had been too quiet since Nadine, and he knew that he had to find someone else to love, someone else to hold and touch and … and he needed to do it now. The memory of his thoughts and the cold wind made Dominic shiver, and he sat at the kitchen table looking through the Sunday paper trying to work out what to do with his day. As he flicked through the international headlines his cell phone began to ring and checking the number first he answered it. "This is Dominic … well, hi, Thomas … no, I can do that, it's a long time since I was up that way … no, no, I understand that … yeah, I'll pack a bag and come see you this afternoon … bye … yeah, bye."

Dominic put the cell phone down on the table and ran a hand around his chin, San Francisco, it was a long time, like he'd said, since he'd been there, but maybe now was a good time to go back, stir things up in that town again and get paid for doing it. Dominic stood up and headed for his bedroom, he would need to be smart, not only while he was out of town, taking part in a hairdressing competition, but today, his boss wouldn't want him looking like a tramp even if he was only going to be driving to the airport and sitting on a plane.

The clothes in the closet were all smart, but they were also all designated different uses. The suit and the perfectly pressed white shirts, all back from the cleaners, were hanging carefully to one end of the rail and only used for dates, as were the black jeans and shirt next to them, the blue jeans and slightly more casual white shirts were what he wore for work, and so he took out two of each and hung them into a suit carrier. He then changed into a pair of olive green cords and a slightly darker t-shirt and slid his feet into a pair of black loafers. Ten minutes and he was good to go.

In the end it had been about an hour before Mark came out of the elevator on the private floor of Community General, only to be almost flung back in again by the desperate words of his son.

"Dad, where've you been? Tell me; tell me what's wrong, please." Steve saw his dad take a step back, and he realised that he was shouting. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that, but you have been so long."

"I got a little caught up but, Steve, it just feels as if I've been a while because for some reason you're getting yourself into a state."

"So tell me what the matter is and I'll calm down." Steve was having to hold himself almost totally still so that he didn't grab his father's arm and pull him into the private suite behind him.

"I think that we ought to go in and I can discuss it with you and Jo together." Mark looked down at the chart in front of him, running his finger along some words as he did so, and Steve could see that there were all sorts of different emotions crossing his face.

"Ok, if that's what you want to do, you're the doctor." Steve moved into the room and, with his back turned, didn't see the look of disbelief on Mark's face as he realised what his son had just said.

Jo looked beautiful, relaxed and at peace, as she slept. Her hair, longer than she usually let it get, was curled over one shoulder as if she had purposely put it there, and the white streak was visible only as it coiled in and around itself. Steve looked at her peaceful face for a moment before touching her gently on the shoulder. "Jo, Honey, you need to wake up." Steve looked over at his dad, who was still checking at the chart in front of him. There was no response from his wife and so he gently shook her again. "Jo, come on sleepy head, time to wake up."

"Mmm, what, Honey?" Jo turned slightly, realised that she wasn't in her own bed and opened her eyes. As she saw the anxious face of her husband looking down at her she remembered where she was, and why she was there. "Oh, my, your daddy, he knows somethin', yes?"

"Yes, Sweetie, I know something, and I thought I ought to come and share it with you as soon as I could."

"Dad, just tell us." Steve again heard his voice raise and he knew that he really needed to get his feelings under control. He hadn't thought anyone but his father could get him this anxious and worried, but now he knew different.

"I think she needs to see this chart first, and then we can discuss it." Mark handed the papers to his daughter-in-law and then put his hand over his mouth. Steve was horrified, and moved across to him, thinking that his dad might be as worried as he was.

"Dad?"

"Oh, my, Mark! An' you're sure, really sure?" Jo looked up, and the expression on her face did nothing to appease Steve's fears, she looked dumbstruck, scared and dumbstruck.

"Yes, Honey, I am, absolutely sure."

"Dad!"

Mark couldn't take it any more, he looked at Jo who nodded, and then he turned back to his son, and now Steve could see that Mark had been hiding a huge grin. "Congratulations, Son, you and Jo are gonna be parents."

Rae had listened as first of all Jesse had explained to her what had happened with Lauren, how he had spoken with Amanda, and then told the same things to his therapist. She had said very little, just asking the odd question here and there, when what she really wanted to do was to take him in her arms and tell him that now he was here, now he could talk to her, everything would be ok, but she knew, in her heart, that there was no guarantee of that.

"Jesse, do you think that if you get your fears and your feelings sorted out that you will ever be able to love me again?" Rae stood up as she spoke, she needed an answer, desperately, but she wasn't sure if she could deal with it.

"Oh, Rae." The words came out softly and with such compassion that Rae swung round to face him, and she found Jesse standing too, his face a picture of sadness.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked … excuse me." Rae couldn't take the pity that she thought she saw, the obvious feelings that were now so far from what they used to be that he could no longer even say that he would try to love her again.

"Rae, wait." Jesse moved after her, but he heard his daughter stir in the bed beside him and, not knowing who to turn to first, he decided that Anneya needed him more and that he and Rae would have time to talk when she was fully recovered.

"Parents … you mean … we're … what?" Steve's eyes darted from his father to his wife and back again, he was rooted to the spot where he had stood since his dad had given him the news, "What?"

"Son, you're babbling, Jo is pregnant, she's gonna have a baby!" The grin Mark had tried so hard to hide was now a permanent feature, and he moved across to where his daughter-in-law was sitting on the bed in the sleeping half of the room.

"Dad, you mean she's not ill, she doesn't have anything wrong with her, she's just …" Steve ran out of words as the meaning of what his dad had said finally sank in and then he too just beamed.

"Honey, how are you feeling now?" Mark automatically felt for her pulse, and then gently laid the back of his hand across her forehead.

"I still feel sick an' just generally yucky, but now I know why, well, it's all of a sudden not so bad." Jo smiled at Mark and he leant over and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Well, I will leave you two together to ponder your wonderful news, if you call down when you're ready to go home I'll come back and discharge you." Mark clapped his son on the shoulder as he passed him and laughed to himself as Steve just rode the slap without any acknowledgement of him at all. The hallway was deserted as he stood waiting for the elevator and Mark let all the feelings of delight rush to the surface, he knew that Jo would worry, and that Steve would fret, but he would just be able to stand a step or two back and enjoy it all – he was gonna be a grandpa again, this time to a little baby.

"Steve, Honey, come an' sit down on the bed with me." Jo had laughter in her voice as she spoke. Her big tough husband, a man who did so many dangerous things in the line of duty, that she couldn't even begin to think about them, was totally floored by the fact that she was pregnant. "Steve." She stood up and moved over to him, and as she did so she saw the pleasure, the wonderment on his face, and she knew that he was thinking ahead, months ahead, to when they would have a baby of their own, and that knowledge made her love him even more.

Rae had rushed out of the room and then frozen to the spot, the sound of her daughter's cry stopping her momentum, and she swung round, and looked back in through the door, the irony of her position not lost on her. Now she was afraid to go in the room, to be with a husband who no longer loved but only pitied her, she was scared just as he had been. But as she stood there the doctor in Jesse was so apparent, the love and expertise that he put into every moment of his working life so clearly still there, that she relaxed a little and watched as he pressed the buzzer and then began speaking to their little girl, who was crying.

"Hey, Sweet Pea, what's all this noise? It's ok, Daddy's just gonna take your temperature, and check a few things, and then we'll let Uncle Alex come and take a look at you." Anneya didn't seem to respond to his voice, but when he picked up her tiny hand she turned to look at him, and cried a little louder.

"Dada."

The tears rushed to Jesse's eyes, all his training went out of the window and he was just that, her daddy, he crouched down so he was at eye level with his child and then as she held her arms out to him he pulled her close and held her tightly, the tears sliding down his cheeks as he did so.

The flight to San Francisco had been quick and easy, Dominic had sat, an unread magazine on his lap, and let his mind wander as he flew. He thought about Juliana and the day they had met in Santa Barbara, of Sam and Jenna and the fun he'd had with them. Nadine, he tried not to think too much about her, that would have to be sorted when he got home, Mary Sue, he smiled to himself, she had been fun, the day had been fun too, and then there had been Tanisha. Tanisha had lived in San Francisco, they had done the touristy things, visited the Golden Gate Bridge, travelled on the cable cars, lunched in Golden Gate Park, it would be good to do that again.

The disembarkation announcement over the speaker broke into his thoughts and he stood up to pull his bag down from the luggage compartment above him, smiling at the woman in the seat next to him as he did so. She was young only about twenty-five or six, but she was Japanese and had jet black hair.

Dominic had arranged with the salon to stay in San Francisco for a whole week. The competition was two days of heats and then the semi finals and finals, but he figured if he was gonna cover for that wimp George who had cried off at the last minute he deserved to get something out of it, and a little R & R in a familiar city sounded good to him.

He made his way down the aisle of the plane and into the airport buildings, the sky was a deep azure blue through the windows and Dominic smiled to himself, he knew that this was going to be a very productive stay.

The journey home had been made in almost total silence. Steve had tried his hardest not to fuss and let Jo get into the car without him manhandling her, but it hadn't been easy and he'd had to bite his tongue not to keep asking if she was ok all the way back to Beverly Hills. By the time he drew up in front of the garage though she was looking a little grey again and he rushed round, opened the door and helped her out, his face showing his concern as he did so.

"Thank you. Think I'll be usin' Shank's Pony for a little while, my body doesn't seem to like the sensation of travellin' in a car." Jo leant in to him, grateful not only for his help but the feel of his strong arms around her and the sound of his heart in her ear.

"But it won't last for long, just the first trimester, right?" Steve pressed the button on his remote control and listened as his car locked itself. "Which is what, about another two months?"

"Yeah, somethin' like that. But it could last the whole nine months!" Jo smiled wanly up at him.

"You're kidding!" Steve looked horrified, and he could tell by her face that she most definitely wasn't kidding.

"I had a friend in Texas, she was so ill with mornin' sickness they kept her in the hospital for a month because she was dehydrated from bein' sick all the time."

"Thank you, you will be fine, I refuse to think like that, you are gonna be just great, ok?"

"But what if I'm not, what if the pre-eclampsia comes back?" The look on Jo's face almost broke Steve's heart, and he pulled her a little closer to him. "Now isn't the time to think about that, we have two people in the house who are worried sick about you, let's go and cheer them up shall we?" Steve could see Michael waiting just inside the front door, he hadn't opened it and was trying to be unobtrusive, but now that he knew the two of them were in the front yard he would wait to let them in.

"I'm sorry, I was tryin' all the way home not to think like that, yes, let's go tell Daniel he is gonna have a brother or sister." The smile on Jo's face, although still a little shaky, showed Steve that she was excited about the new baby just as he was.

Alex had spent, it seemed to Rae, almost all afternoon with Anneya. She hadn't known what time he arrived, but it was after five before he left. Now that the little girl was more aware of her surroundings he started some of the tests that would need to be done to ascertain what lasting damage, if any, she had sustained.

Before taking her back to have another CAT scan Alex explained to Rae that the seizures had been caused by a swelling of the brain. The machines that she had been hooked up to had shown three other seizures all of which Rae had witnessed, her horror and dread increasing with each of them. The list of conditions that could either linger or be caused by the accident shocked Rae, and she had been overwhelmed by the thought of the struggle her little girl would have to go through before she got back to anything like a normal life again.

Anneya had taken a drink of juice and eaten a few pieces of cut up fruit while they had been talking, not showing much interest in what was going on around her, and then she had snuggled up against Jesse's chest and fallen fast asleep.

"You will probably find that for at least a month she is sleeping way more than she used to. In a way when she goes home it'll be just the start of her recovery; real life will throw up all sorts of obstacles and many of them, that wouldn't have caused any type of problem before, will do so now." Alex was watching the little girl almost continually, making sure that he didn't miss any behavioural differences in her.

"I … I don't understand what you mean." Rae's voice was a little hushed so that she didn't wake her sleeping child.

"Rae, things that she could do just fine before she had her accident may be beyond her when she gets home, she will have to learn them all over again. Some things she may never regain, it depends on whether she suffered brain damage or not." Jesse was stroking Anneya's hair as he spoke, not wanting to meet Rae's eyes with news he realised could devastate her, but gradually he slowed his hand to a stop and the little girl reached up and gave it a push.

"Because … because of the seizures or the fall or both, right?" Rae could feel the knot in her stomach getting larger by the minute. She had so wanted Anneya to just wake up and everything be fine again. Now she knew that hadn't happened.

"Yes, that's right." Alex nodded his head and then smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "We'll keep a close eye on her; she'll need to come in to be checked over regularly to start with. But she is a little better, Rae, and if her scans come back showing improvement we can start thinking about her future.

"I want her to get her appetite back, but if all her readings and results are good, I see no reason to keep her here, she will get better quicker if she's home with all her fami … familiar things around her." Alex paused, he'd been going to say 'family', but realised that Jesse was still living at the beach, and he had no idea when, if ever, he would be going back to Beverly Hills.

Jo had let herself be cosseted by all the men in her life, and about ten minutes after she arrived home she was on the sofa in the living room, the throw, which had spent most of the day being driven around LA, over her. She was propped up against the arm at one end with cushions behind her back, there was a cup of herbal tea on the occasional table next to her and a slightly screwed up cookie on a plate beside it.

"What did Grandpa Mark say?" Daniel had made himself comfortable as close to his mother as he could get, and the anxiety was shining alongside the love in his eyes. He had explained to his mom about his hand, which now had a large band-aid across the palm. She had realised that the dish he had broken had been worth about $600 and although she had it on a table to hold small pieces of fruit it was in fact a caviar bowl with a beautiful long stem lifting it up off its base, at least it had been, now it was gone. Once Daniel had realised that his mom forgave him for his accident he had kissed her and put the incident to the back of his mind, and he was listening intently to every word she said.

"Well, you know that your dad tends to over-react just a little." Jo looked at her husband as she spoke and saw him smile at her. She had a feeling that right now she could say almost anything and get the same smile.

Steve looked down at the little child playing with a jigsaw on the carpet a feeling of anticipation surrounding him as he did so.

"But then Moms do that too."

The dark head was raised and Eliana's chin wobbled a bit. "Mommy wiv Neya at v hops tiple. I want … I want Mommy." A large tear stole down her cheek as Steve moved across, picked the little girl up and held her on his lap.

"Honey, Mommy will be back real soon, but you can stay with Aunty Jo and me until then, ok?" Steve planted a kiss on the soft smooth cheek and was pleased when Eliana smiled and nodded her head. "You wanna play some more?" His goddaughter shook her head and moved a little in his arms, she had been awake all day and now that she had her Unki Teve back the sleeplessness was turning into tiredness and, with a small, dainty yawn, she closed her eyes and took hold of his hand.

"I'll just drink my tea an' eat this wonderful cookie, then when that little lamb is fast asleep we can carry on talkin' ok?" Jo leant over and picked up her cup, she blew on the pale liquid before drinking some of it down.

"It is lemon tea, Madam, I know you prefer it and it seems to cheer you up." Michael was concerned, Miss Josephine still seemed pale and anxious to him.

Steve carefully got to his feet and laid the now sleeping child in one of the large burgundy arm chairs both of which were empty. He took the throw from the back of it and covered her over, as he had done with his wife just a few minutes earlier. Then with a smile at what was about to happen he turned and nodded at Jo.

"Like I just said Mom's tend to overreact as well. Daniel, Michael, we have somethin' to tell you both, no one else, but your Grandpa Mark knows. You are the two most important people in our lives, but there is gonna be a third important person. I am gonna be a mom again." Jo paused and saw the realisation dawn on Michael's face. He began to smile broadly, but Daniel sat there still waiting for more information.

"I don't understand, how can there be another important person, is Eliana gonna stay here?" Daniel looked across at the sleeping child; he loved her dearly, but knew that what he said couldn't be correct.

"No, Honey, she will go home the moment her sister comes home from the hospital. Daniel … I'm gonna be a mom again because I'm gonna have a baby." Jo had taken her son's hand in her own as she spoke, and for a moment they sat in silence, but then he pulled back from her.

"A baby? You're gonna have a baby?" He didn't know what else to say, his feelings were suddenly upside down, turned around and totally mixed up. He'd just been taken into this family, was legally one of them and it wasn't enough any longer, now they were gonna have a real son or daughter, and it wasn't going to be him. With his feelings totally out of control Daniel stood up, turned and left the room without another word, leaving his shocked mom and dad to look on in stunned silence.


	24. Decisions and Discoveries

**A/N**

In the previous chapter I had Jo drink a cup of herbal tea – chamomile and lime flower - when she got home from the hospital.

I got a review for chapter 23 from 'Patscats' who was very concerned about this fact. Taking her review to heart, I did some research and found so much contradicting information that all I can advise is this. If you are expecting, or planning a family, you should discuss with your healthcare practitioner any herbal remedies you might consider taking just as if they were commercial medications. Anything you put into your body that affects your health also affects your baby.

**Chapter 24 – Decisions and Discoveries**

The rest of the week passed in a blur for Rae and Jesse as well as Steve and Jo. The cops in Santa Barbara called on the Tuesday to say that they had lost sight of Callum Edwards and for a while Steve hadn't known who they were talking about, but then he realised that it was John Masters Junior who had gone AWOL and he was not impressed.

After three days of searching Steve finally caught up with the Edwards family, in spirit at least, when he found their plane and hotel reservations for a vacation in Barbados. A quick phone call confirmed that the family were indeed where they said they were, and Steve had to be content with that, not wanting another police department wondering why he was getting hysterical over a couple of, now paid, parking violations.

Daniel had apologised for his outburst, but the following days had been strained and Steve knew that Jo, struggling with morning sickness and weariness, was finding the whole matter a drain. Daniel had avoided any more temper tantrums, but Steve could see that the boy was hurting, and he desperately wanted some time with him to get things back to how they had been. Work though had seemed to come first all week, and so far they hadn't had more than five minutes together at a time, and that wasn't long enough for the discussion Steve knew they needed.

Anneya stayed in the hospital the entire week and was released on the Saturday morning, fifteen days after she had been admitted. Although she was still almost totally silent, and slept for at least a little of each hour of the day, there was no doubting that she was getting better.

She had seemed almost completely bewildered by the outside world when they had left the hospital, grasping her daddy tightly round the neck and burying her face into his shoulder. Jesse had whispered words of, he hoped, comfort all the way to the car and then carefully strapped her into her seat.

"Jesse, please, come home with us, let Eliana spend some time with you." Rae had stood the other side of the vehicle, not wanting to cause her husband any more pain than she knew she was already doing. They hadn't spoken again, not in the way that they had begun to earlier in the week, and Rae knew that any feelings he had for her must have totally disappeared.

"Rae, don't. I have to do this at my speed, not yours." He looked away, he owed her an explanation, at least to tell her that he still loved her, still wanted to be with her, but he couldn't.

"Jesse, your home will always be with us if you want it to be, but I have to go now, I have to get to Eliana, and I need to work out some sort of plan with Sally. Will you have Anneya next week?" Rae had already asked him and Jesse just nodded.

"I'll send you my schedule when I get home tonight, ok." Rae was the one who nodded this time and then she climbed into her car and drove away. Jesse walked back towards the main entrance to the ER, and felt a hand on his arm as he did so.

"Hey, stranger, are you ok? How's your daughter today?" Jesse turned as he heard Susan's voice and smiled at her.

"Hey, yourself, she's fine, Rae just took her home." He paused for a moment and then smiled again. "Wanna go get a coffee?"

ooo

Eliana had been almost beside herself when Rae and Anneya arrived at the door to Steve and Jo's house. She rushed at her mother, and Rae, totally delighted as well, handed her younger daughter over to Michael before bending down to sweep her up into her arms and hug her tight.

"Oh, Sweetie, Mummy has missed you so much." Rae carefully put the little girl down and then just looked at her. "I do believe you've grown while I've been away."

Steve had just been arriving home from work, and when he saw Rae's car in the driveway, he fairly sprinted into the house coming through the door before Michael, his arms full with Anneya, could open it for him.

"Hi, Unki Teve! Neya home!" Eliana squealed as he stood in the doorway behind her mother, Michael, and Anneya. Eliana adored her Unki Teve, and, as excited as she was to have her sister home, she was still as pleased as ever to see him.

"I see," Steve replied, sharing a joyous smile with his goddaughter before he leaned over Rae's shoulder to peek at Anneya, who still sat securely in Michael's arms, "and we're all so glad to have her back. How are you feeling, Sweetie?"

"I fine," Eliana replied, and though Steve shared an amused chuckle with the other adults over the fact that Eliana hadn't realized the question wasn't meant for her, he couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Anneya hadn't even looked at him when he'd spoken. She certainly seemed better than she had in the hospital and he knew that Alex wouldn't have let her home if he wasn't happy about her, but still, he was concerned, not just because he loved her, but because of Jo and their own baby.

Though she didn't understand what was funny, Eliana laughed with the grown ups and as she moved over and pulled at her sister's hand, Rae and Michael saw and felt Anneya jump almost out of her skin and begin to cry.

"Sowee Mommy, sowee." Eliana's eyes filled with tears too, and her chin began to wobble.

"Honey, it's alright, Neya just feels a little poorly still, and I guess you made her jump." Rae had her arm around her elder daughter, and she gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking her now screaming child from Michael and trying to calm her down.

Jo had been out in the garden, but she came in at the sound of crying, although she stood a little out of reach of Rae and Anneya and watched as Steve made his way across the hallway towards her. He knew that Rae had no idea that Jo was pregnant, she had sent a letter via Alex to both Jo and himself and Amanda and Ron saying that now that Jesse was with her she would be able to sit with Anneya without imposing on them and taking them away from their own families. The note had been so formal, so impersonal that they had known how much she was suffering and had all gone along with her wishes. It meant though that Rae had missed out on one of the most important things that had happened to him his whole life, and now he was anxious to share it with her.

ooo

"Hi, Jo, I just can't thank you enough for what you, Steve, and Michael have done for me … what, what's the matter?" Rae had moved towards her friends, but stopped as she saw Jo's pale face.

Steve, suddenly feeling guilty for not ignoring the letter and passing on their wonderful news shifted uncomfortably before concentrating on Anneya so that his wife could tell her best friend their news. "Rae, how are you, and more to the point how is Anneya? Is she really better?"

"She … she's fine, thanks for asking. Texas, what's the matter?" Rae's voice was anxious and she moved closer to her friend. Something had happened while she had been in the hospital, something which seemed to scare Jo.

Jo realised just how much she had missed her friend and suddenly the excitement of telling outweighed the worry she was trying to fight and the nausea she was suffering from. With tears shining in her eyes she spoke, "Rae, I'm gonna have a baby."

"Oh, Texas, that's just wonderful." Rae started to move towards her friend again but then stopped, she knew how scared she would be, and instead of rushing into a hug she gently pulled her close. Rae could still remember the day she and her best friend had sat in the sun and Jo had told her the most horrific story of how she had been pregnant and lost a baby in the past. "And you know you will be fine, Mark won't have it any other way, Jesse either."

The kind words of understanding rocked Jo's already unsteady hormones just a little too much and the tears started. She appreciated the tender cuddle Rae had given her but she wanted more and so she moved over and enveloped both Rae and Anneya in a big hug.

ooo

The cafeteria was reasonably busy but Jesse and Susan were able to find a deserted table over by the window and they took their cups of coffee and a Danish pastry each and sat in comfortable silence.

"I'm glad that Anneya is well enough to go home. It was touch and go there for a while." Susan put her hand over Jesse's and he felt his confusion level rise.

"Yeah, I know." For a moment Jesse was quiet, but then he smiled and spoke again, "she'll be fine once she has Eliana to play with again, and all the things that she recognises around her." Jesse knew that he should remove his hand, that he was betraying the trust that Rae still had in him, but it was nice to be touched, to feel the warmth of another person and not want to run from it. The picture of Rae's face came up in his mind, and the memory that accompanied it was one of hurt, anger and pain, all of which had been caused by a situation that Jesse had to admit must have caused all of those emotions to affect his wife as well as him. As he sat, his hand still enveloped in the softness of Susan's, he went back to the earlier part of the week when Anneya had been transferred to the Paediatric Intermediate Care unit.

_The room had been almost identical to the previous one, and Jesse looked around at the décor and realised that it didn't really matter what age you were, apparently you had the same taste in art. There were two chairs for visitors in the room, the same bed that Anneya had had before but, thankfully, no invasive machinery of any kind. The antibiotics that his daughter still needed were being given by IV but that had been wheeled down with the gurney and the other paraphernalia that had accompanied the little girl to her new room._

_Rae was sitting one side of the bed quietly reading to Anneya, she had her finger under the words, showing them to her daughter as she spoke, and Jesse was only half listening to the story of the Hungry Caterpillar which he had read himself about a hundred times. Anneya didn't seem to be taking the words in, but she must have heard it at least as many times as he had, she was watching her mom's finger though and poking her own little finger through the holes in the pages as the various foods were eaten._

_The scene was happy and relaxed, and Jesse had found himself feeling much more in control of his emotions. He was just about to go and sit next to Rae when he saw her touch her pocket and then pull her cell phone out. "Detective Yeager … Good morning, Sir … No, could you hold on a minute…?" Rae gave the book to Anneya and then stood up. "Jesse, it's the Captain on the phone, I need to speak with him, can you take over?" He had just nodded and prepared to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar for the hundred and first time._

_Rae had been gone for just over ten minutes and Jesse had found out later that apart from checking on her situation Captain Newman had also been asking what shift patterns she would prefer when Anneya was home, and reminding her that he would be away for the whole of the next week and Steve would be in charge. The course he was giving had been cancelled twice so far, but this time seemed to be going ahead._

_While Rae had been away Susan had come into the room to change the IV and check Anneya's vital signs. Rae had come back into the room just as Jesse, laughing at something he could no longer remember, had placed his hand on Susan's arm._

_"So, Sweetheart, if you just give your book to Daddy I can do all the things I have to do. Is that ok? And then, once we're done, if you would like, I could read it to you. I just love this story."_

_Anneya had held tightly to the book, and eyed the strange lady anxiously. It had been obvious that she didn't want to let go. "No! Momma, no!" She had screamed out, and then seen Rae coming in through the door._

_"What the hell do you think you're doing to my child?" Rae hadn't taken in who was in the room, just the fact that Anneya was almost hysterically upset, but as she moved closer to the action she looked up and gasped. "You! Get out of here, now! Get out … just get out, now!" Rae had then swept her daughter up into her arms and begun cooing and speaking softly and gently to her. Gradually the movements and the sounds got through and the room returned to a very uneasy silence. As Rae had laid the now almost sleeping little girl back into the bed Jesse had realised that Susan still hadn't left and he saw Rae notice the same thing._

_"I thought I told you to get out! I don't want you anywhere near my child, or my husband for that matter, but I guess I don't have any say in that." Rae had moved threateningly close to the young nurse and Jesse had felt compelled to step between them. Susan had been looking almost shell shocked, and he'd turned to her first._

_"Susan, go and do something else for a little while, I'll sort this out." Jesse had put his hand on her back and guided her out into the hallway. "I'm so sorry, I really am. I guess we've all been under strain."_

_"Jesse." Rae's voice told him that he was in trouble and his fear of her began to well up in his chest until he wanted to run away not turn and face her. He watched as Susan made her way back to the nurses' station and it was all he could to do stop himself from following her._

_"Jesse, I would appreciate it if you would come back in here." Again the stern voice of his wife assaulted his ears, but this time they spurred him into action and he let his fear turn to anger._

_"What, what do you want me to say, Rae?" Jesse knew that his eyes were blazing and that his words were flung loudly at her, and he saw her look at their daughter who was sleeping peacefully now._

_Rae had moved out into the hallway and looked her husband square in the eye. Jesse had wanted to turn tail and run more than he had ever done in her presence, but he stood his ground. "I want you to promise me that woman won't be allowed near my daughter again and then I want you to go and make sure that everyone else knows too, because, trust me, Jesse, I won't be responsible for my actions if I ever see her within a hundred yards of Anneya!"_

_Rae had gone back into the room and closed the door behind her leaving Jesse standing not really knowing what to do next and wishing that he was anywhere than where he actually was._

"I said, if I can get tickets for both of us would you like to go?" Susan shook his arm and Jesse came out of his dream.

"I'm sorry, I was … what … would I like to go where?" Jesse knew he had missed something.

"There was a Jack Blood premiere on Thursday and now the movie is open to the public, if I can get tickets would you like to go tonight?" Susan looked at Jesse with an expectant expression on her face. She had seen the state of his marriage, and knew that if she played her cards right they could easily end up back together.

"I … I don't know, maybe." Jesse was aware of a feeling in the back of his mind that he should be visiting with Rae, trying to get back to a place where they could talk, but the offer of a movie was tempting, and the offer of an evening with no pressure or expectations, even more so. Making a sudden decision Jesse nodded his head, "Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been to the movies, that would be great." Jesse checked his watch then and realised Rae would be home, and that he should go back to work. "I'll see you outside here at, seven, six-thirty, what do you think?"

"Yeah, six-thirty would be good." Susan leant over and kissed him gently on the cheek before walking out of the canteen, and Jesse sat there trying to get his feelings sorted out.

ooo

The hotel in San Francisco had been very nice; Dominic had been happy with his room and had tipped the bus boy well. Now he sat on the balcony of the cocktail bar looking out over the swimming pool and enjoying the view. As he sat his vision became slightly blurred, and then fragmented, as if he was looking through a prism. He scanned the area, his eyes passing over all the women just below him. For a while they were all slightly out of focus but then gradually it began to clear and one person remained in his view.

A young woman of about twenty-five, wearing a white two-piece swimsuit over a deeply tanned body was standing just beneath him. Her dark blonde hair was held up in a barrette and Dominic stared in appreciation as she took a two-step run up and then dived expertly into the water. When she broke the surface of the pool the barrette had disappeared and her hair hung in a wet, perfectly neat curtain across her back. Dominic was now held spellbound and as he watched she swam strongly towards the side and, placing her hands on the edge, pushed herself effortlessly out onto the paved patio area.

Dominic knew that he had to speak with her, find out who she was, and what she was doing at the hotel. She didn't seem to be with anyone, and as he kept his eyes on her she picked up her robe, put it around her shoulders, and began drying her hair with a towel. Dominic quickly called a waiter over and ordered a mineral water with ice and asked for it to be taken down to his mystery lady.

ooo

Steve had gone into the station just after lunch to work an afternoon shift. He planned to speak to Cheryl on the phone, before doing anything else, because he had been concerned about how she and Martin were getting on. He knew that with all the things going on in his life he had neglected his old friend and he resolved to spend more time with her in the future. Her voice had made him smile and as he was already in the privacy of the Captain's office he pressed the button on the speaker phone and listened to her as he worked.

"Detective Banks." Her tone had been one of resignation as she answered the phone.

"Relax, Detective, I'm not calling you in."

"Oh, hi, Steve, or should I say, Acting Captain Sloan?" There was laughter in her voice now and it was evident that she was pleased to hear from him.

"No, not unless you want to work this afternoon." Steve was glad he'd called, and was even more so when he moved the top file and saw one of hers underneath. "I see you have been busy this week."

"You mean my internet killer, yeah, I got him," Cheryl paused for a moment, as if thinking what to say next, "actually, it was pure luck, but hey, I'll take 'em any way I can."

"Yeah, me too, so what luck was it?" Cheryl had been working on a case where a cleaner, two shop assistants and a nanny had all been found by their new employers, dead.

"I applied to about three or four agencies, including the two that our killer had obviously had some ties to, and when I got the contract in the post to sign last week I got a print match on the knife stuck into one of the victims and the part of the letter which had been signed by the office manager. I went and interviewed him and he just caved in."

"Banks, you're just a big bully! What job did you apply for?" Steve was enjoying the conversation enormously.

"I am not! I threatened him with you and that was it, game over!" She was silent for a moment. "I went for shop assistant; I always wanted to be the lady on the till when I was a little girl." She laughed but felt no embarrassment in telling her old friend her reasoning.

The satisfaction that Cheryl felt was very apparent to Steve and he felt pleased for her, but then her next few words took the enjoyment out of it. "I would have told you, but, well, somehow we don't talk as much as we used to."

"Cheryl, I am so sorry, life just seems to whiz past at an alarming rate these days. But soon, I promise you, we'll have you and Martin over for dinner."

"Steve, don't worry, you have a wife and a family now, things change and move on, we don't even work together any more. But you're still my friend, and, well, I do miss you." Cheryl voice held a note of regret in it, and Steve felt even worse.

"I'll check our shift patterns and then speak to Michael and before you know it you and Martin will be sitting at our dining table surrounded by cutlery!"

"Well, if you can fit it in I know we would both love to come. Steve, I have to go, I … well, I can't leave Martin on his own for too long."

"Ok, Partner, I'll see you Monday." To Steve it still felt perfectly natural to call his friend by the now incorrect term.

"Yeah, you too, don't forget to have your suit pressed."

"Oh, ha ha. Bye, Cheryl."

"Bye."

Steve broke the connection and began to read through the file that Cheryl had left for him. Their Red Rose serial killer was a weird and depraved human being, but this guy had killed because the victims had all gotten jobs he had put his girlfriend up for. In a way it was the age-old story, jealousy and money. If it wasn't one, it was likely to be the other. With a sigh Steve signed the papers at the back of the file and put it in the out tray. He had a feeling that the rest of the week wasn't going to be that easy.

ooo

By the evening of Saturday Eliana was more than happy to sit at the kitchen table and do drawing and colouring while Rae caught up on her housework. There was a pile of ironing that needed doing, especially if the three of them wanted to actually be dressed the following week. Anneya had fallen soundly asleep on the sofa in the playroom after lunch, while Eliana had been watching a video and when the elder of her two girls had come to join her Rae had made sure that the doors to the kitchen and playroom were both open so that Anneya would hear them and find her when she woke up. Normally Rae would have worried that her daughter wouldn't sleep through the night because she had slept the afternoon away, but she knew that the amount of sleep that the little girl needed right now would mean that about an hour or so of story telling and play after dinner plus a nice hot bath would solve that problem.

The pile of ironing had turned into three slightly smaller piles of neatly pressed laundry when Rae heard a sound behind her as she carefully ironed a skirt that needed all its pleats steamed.

"Hey, Sweetie, did you have a nice nap?" Anneya was obviously still half asleep as there was no reaction at all to her mother's words, and she walked, slightly unsteadily, into the kitchen clutching the toy giraffe that Rae had bought for her to have in bed with her at the hospital.

As Anneya made her way towards Rae the soft toy caught the flex of the iron and it teetered on the edge of the board before beginning to fall.

"ANNEYA, LOOK OUT!" Rae shouted at her child, but she just kept walking, seemingly unperturbed by the sounds. The hot iron hit the tiled floor directly behind her with a sound like a bullet from a gun, scaring the life out of Eliana, even though she had looked up at the sound of Rae's voice. Still Anneya said nothing, and neither did she react in any way. She carried on walking towards her mother, holding up her arms for a hug as she reached her.

Rae felt herself go totally cold inside, and she remembered the conversation she'd had with Alex when he'd gone through all the different residual effects her accident could cause. Quietly she spoke to her daughter as she held her in her arms, but there was still no response, and Rae remembered how she had shouted at Susan and Jesse, and Anneya had carried on sleeping; how there had been no reaction to Eliana's chattering, excited presence at Steve and Jo's house until the child had pulled at Anneya's hand and then it had only been shock and fear. She also realised that the video that Eliana had been watching had been loud enough to be heard in the kitchen and yet, once again, Anneya had been able to sleep soundly in the same room as the television.

With a very heavy heart Rae made her way, Anneya still clutched tightly to her, to the phone and put a call through to Alex. Ten minutes later Eliana and Anneya were strapped in the back of her car and Rae was on her way to Community General Hospital, knowing in her heart already that her daughter was no longer able to hear.

ooo

Jesse had showered and changed after a shift that both Mark and Alex had tried to talk him out of working. Neither of them had seriously considered that he would let Rae take their daughter home alone, but both had seen the determination in his eyes, and knew that they wouldn't get him to change his mind.

The day had been reasonably quiet, it was a week before Thanksgiving and most people appeared to be shopping, cooking or just staying out of trouble. There had been a rush of sorts when a small child of about six had been brought in after being knocked down in a local parking lot. He hadn't been badly hurt, but he had come in with his almost hysterical mother and four sisters.

The girls had all been crying, and no amount of magic tricks or offers of trips up and down the hallways in wheelchairs had calmed them down. Once the boy whose name was Leo had been checked over by Alex, and declared bruised but otherwise fine, the whole clan had left the area en-masse and it had seemed unnaturally silent although Alex had a feeling that the children's ward was anything but quiet.

By six-thirty Jesse had been standing outside the entrance to the ER and he saw Susan coming across the parking lot towards him. Feeling just a little guilty about what he was doing, but also looking forward to an evening where he could just relax and enjoy the company of a friend who had missed all the trauma of the last few years, he made his way to where she was, and then together they climbed into his car and left by a back exit.

Rae drew into a space as close to the entrance as she could just after seven, and carefully lifted Anneya, who was once again fast asleep, out of the car. Eliana had undone her belt, climbed out of the car and was now waiting to tell her mother that the car was locked. Rae pressed the button and grabbed her daughter by the hand.

"No, Mommy, I check car," Eliana dragged her heels and Rae turned on her.

"For goodness sake this is far more important, just come along."

"My job … I check car." The tears had started, but Rae kept on walking and Eliana sensing that she wasn't going to get anywhere followed her, but the crying continued.

Alex had paged Jesse when he finished speaking with Rae, but he hadn't answered, and then he had seen that his friend had signed himself out about two minutes after Rae had called. With a heavy sigh Alex realised that, once again, Rae was going to have to deal with whatever problems Anneya now had alone.

ooo

The movie theatre was very busy and, as Jesse queued up for their popcorn and soda, he had been glad that they weren't in the line for tickets. Once Jesse had his purchases he and Susan had just walked into the large auditorium, found their seats and waited for the lights to go out.

Their conversation had been about general things, what was happening at work, Susan wanted to know about Steve and his situation, she had been amazed to hear that not only was he married, but he had a fifteen-year-old son. They had talked about how Alex was living at the beach house, which had led on to Jesse telling her that he was there too, and he hadn't argued with her when she asked if he was separated from Rae.

Susan had also been pleased to hear about Amanda and Ron's plans to get married in the spring, and although she had never been close to either of them she had asked Jesse to pass on her congratulations. Their conversation had just begun to drift into silence when the lights began to dim and the advertisements came up on the screen.

For a moment the darkness seemed to envelope Jesse and his heart began to race. He hadn't been in the dark since the days in the garage unless he had been in bed. This wasn't bed, he couldn't see what the others around him were doing, and he didn't like it. Susan must have sensed his discomfort because as the light from an ad for a forthcoming film lit up the rows of seats in front of him Jesse felt her take his hand in hers and hold it tight.

ooo

Although Alex had been unable to find Jesse he had managed to get Mark to stay on a little longer after his shift to look after Eliana. He didn't know why Rae needed to see him so urgently, but he had heard the worry and desperation in her voice, and knew that whatever it was, it needed his, and her, undivided attention.

Rae had arrived looking as if she was just about holding on to her sanity. She searched anxiously for anyone that she recognised, and saw Shannon coming towards her. The young woman who had so obviously stolen Alex's heart smiled at her and then crouched down to speak with Eliana. The little girl now knew who the lady was, and so always spoke with her and told her all of her news. This time though Eliana was holding a grudge and she saw an opportunity to let rip.

"Yana check car. Yana's job to check car. Mommy naughty yady!"

Shannon smiled, and put her finger on her lips. "Shhh, Mommy has to see Uncle Alex," Shannon looked up, unsure if she had said the right thing and saw Rae nod. "How about you and I go and find a cookie and a soda in the canteen? Then you can tell me what you do to check the car, ok?" Shannon took Eliana's hand in hers and straightened up. As she did so Alex came out of a trauma suite and headed towards them.

"Rae, why don't you go into trauma three? I'll take Eliana to see Mark and come back and join you."

"No, Yana go haf cookies wiv Shannon." Eliana pouted at her Uncle Alex, and took an even firmer grip on his girlfriend's hand.

Mark had come out into the hallway when he heard Eliana's voice and now came up to help defuse the situation. "Does that mean I can't have a cookie too?"

"Hi, Gwanpee Mok." Eliana was instantly sweetness and light and both Shannon and Alex had to laugh.

"I'll leave you two to it. When we're done I'll get someone to find you, ok?" Alex received a nod in reply from both Mark and Shannon and so turned and went into the trauma suite where Rae was waiting for him.

ooo

Jesse had lost count of the number of Action Fist movies he'd seen; in fact if they didn't have figures in the title he wasn't sure he would be able to tell them apart. As the first five minutes of the film passed in practically the same way as the previous one Jesse tried to get himself under control properly.

He had been to the movies loads of times, with Susan, Steve, not so often with Rae, she didn't like going to see films, she preferred to wait until they came out on DVD, he'd been a few times with CJ and Dion and, normally, he just got on with it, but this time something wasn't right, he didn't know what it was, but it wasn't right.

Two latecomers made their way along the row and both Jesse and Susan had to stand up to let them pass. The embarrassed couple smiled as they inched their way towards their seats, and Jesse tried to smile back, but it wasn't an easy task, and he knew that he had failed miserably.

Sitting back down Jesse found that Susan had moved a little closer to him, even though they were separated by the padded rest. She looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. Tentatively Jesse leant his head against hers, not sure what he was doing or feeling. The movie was progressing noisily and, as the scene became dark, Jesse felt Susan's hand as she gently turned his face towards hers and then her lips as they touched his.

For a moment he froze, not knowing what to do, but suddenly he knew with every part of him that it was wrong, he shouldn't be here, shouldn't even be touching her, and he shot to his feet, not able to form a coherent goodbye before rushing out of the row, up the aisle and out into the light.


	25. Testing Times

**Chapter 25 – Testing Times**

"Rae, I know you're scared and upset, but there's nothing I can do tonight. Take her home and come back on Monday morning. I'll set up an appointment with Doctor Knoll for as early in the day as I can, until then just look after her like you normally would, ok?" Alex had kept his hand on Rae's shoulder the entire time he spoke, ensuring that she didn't interrupt him, but as soon as she knew he was finished her words began to fly.

"Alex, I can't wait until then, she can't hear anything, how am I supposed to treat her just like I normally would when she can't hear anything?"

"Rae, stop it! Do you want me to admit her again? Take her away from you and put her back in a foreign environment, when we've established that her hearing has been damaged?" Alex's voice had risen as he spoke, and Rae knew that she had caused him to lose his temper with her.

"No, no, I'm sorry, Alex, it's just, what do I do? I can't sing to her, read her a story, watch a video with her, all the things that we do when we spend time together need her to be able to hear, and she can't do that any more!" Rae willed back the tears, knowing that if they started to fall she would never be able to stop them.

"I don't know what else to suggest, you could call Jesse, or Steve. You know that Mark or Jo or Amanda will come stay with you, and Monday we'll get her tested properly, ok? But you don't have to do this alone, you're surrounded by friends and family who love you, and we'll do all we can for you and Anneya." Alex had run some simple hearing tests on the little girl and he knew that she was no longer hearing him. He wasn't sure, however, how severe the loss was and he began writing a note to himself to contact Doctor Knoll as he finished speaking. He had moved away from his friend to give her the chance to get herself back under control. Finally, he looked back up again to see her sitting on the gurney, her daughter on her lap, rocking her back and forth as her own tears flowed.

ooo

Jesse stopped when he got out into the lobby of the movie theatre; he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He didn't know what to do next, but knew that what he had done so far was not only wrong but stupid. As he stood there Susan came out of the same door he had and walked up to him.

"Jesse, Honey, why did you walk out on me?" Susan laid her hand on his arm and watched him move away from her.

"I shouldn't have come." _You shouldn't have come_. That's what he'd said to Rae, but this time it was true.

"Why not? Jesse, your marriage is over, so's mine, we were always meant to be together, can't you see that?" Susan was not going to be deterred, and so she moved closer to him again.

"Susan, stop. You're wrong, we … we weren't meant to be together, if we were then you wouldn't have left, and I wouldn't have found Rae." Jesse reminisced for a moment as he remembered seeing Rae in Bob's all those years ago, before the pain and hurt had invaded their lives and, as always happened when he thought of his wife, the memories threatened him once again.

"I lost you once, Jess, I'm not gonna to let that happen again, from what I've heard your wife finds trouble irresistible, and doesn't care who else she pulls in with her. We had fun together, Jesse, why can't we do that again?" Susan lowered her voice and tried to pull him towards her.

Fun, it had been a long time since he'd had fun, fun was playing with his kids, rolling around the grass, laughing and joking, building sandcastles and then knocking them down. Fun was sitting with Rae in the evenings, talking about something or other that had happened during the day, or just sitting on the sofa with his wife curled up next to him.

"I … I have to go, I'm sorry, Susan." He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Get a cab home, and I'll see you at work next week… Bye, and I'm sorry." He handed her a twenty dollar bill and turned away.

"Don't you walk out on me, Jesse Travis; if you do you'll be sorry! I came half way round the world to win you back, and that's what I intend to do." Susan's voice cut through Jesse like a knife and he felt his heart begin to beat harder and louder. He just knew he had to get away and so he broke into a run, pushing through the revolving doors and out into the night air.

ooo

The house had seemed very quiet and empty when Eliana left. Steve had felt guilty going in to the station to work all afternoon, and so when he had arrived home just after five he had already decided to spend the evening with his wife and son.

Daniel had been busy, but Jo was resting in the morning room, and had been delighted to see her husband, knowing that he wasn't going back to work until Monday morning. Steve and Jo had sat talking of the future, of the time when there would be another little person living with them, laughing and enjoying life to the full, and they had begun to make plans, the type of plans that every couple, if they're lucky, get to make.

Daniel had spent the day with Maddie, and they had found an empty bench in a park near the Never Say Die Gym and Daniel had told her his news.

_"You're quiet, what's up?" He'd seen Maddie watching him the entire time they'd been working out and Daniel had known he wouldn't get away without telling her all about it._

_"Nothing."__ He tried to appear unconcerned, but he could hear the despondency in his voice._

_"Yeah, right, and I'm about to go head to head with Mike Tyson. What's up?"_

_Daniel had taken a deep breath. "My mom's gonna have a baby."_

_"Wow, Jo is, really? That's wonderful … that's not wonderful. Why don't you think that's wonderful? I thought you loved having Eliana and Anneya to stay."_

_"Well, yeah, I do, but … but they go home, they don't stay and have the same Mom and Dad that I do." Daniel stopped talking; he wasn't sure what else to say._

_"So, if you were their natural son they wouldn't be allowed to have any more kids? Daniel, they chose you, they went to court to fight for you and you went to court to fight for them. How can you be jealous of a tiny baby coming into the house?"_

_"I'm not jealous, it's not that, it's just … it's just …" Daniel stopped talking, he wasn't really sure how to explain his feelings, but he was sure he wasn't jealous._

_"It's just that you have gotten so used to being the only child, and having Jo, Steve and Michael running after you, and all of a sudden there's gonna be someone else too." Maddie had taken Daniel's hand in her own, and he decided that he liked that feeling._

_"I still don't think I'm jealous, it's just that … what if they don't love me as much any more, what if everything changes? I like it the way it is right now."_

_"If things change then you'll change with them. Do you think that this little baby isn't gonna love his or her big brother just like you are gonna love them?"_

_Daniel looked at her with his eyes wide. He hadn't thought of that, it had gone through his mind that he would have to share his mom and dad, but he would become a brother, a big brother, which would be really neat._

Daniel came down the stairs ready for dinner and heard Steve and Jo laughing and talking in the morning room. He opened the door and went in, an uncertain smile on his face.

"Hi."

"Hi, Son, come and sit down." Steve smiled up at the young boy and indicated that he should sit on the sofa next to him.

Daniel did as he was told and then he squirmed around in the seat until he was facing his parents. "I know I said sorry already, but I really am glad about this baby, I talked about it with Maddie, and well, I'm gonna be a big brother!" Daniel beamed and Jo moved so she could take him into her arms.

"Oh, Honey, I'm so glad that you feel that way. We've been talkin' about what is gonna happen, how this little one will change things, an' we don't want you to think that any of the feelin's that we have for you right now are gonna alter. You are our eldest child; nothin' can ever change that, nothin', ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am, but I'm still sorry. I was a jerk; I should have thought a bit more before rushing off like that." Daniel found that he needed to keep on apologising, but then he felt his dad's hand on his arm.

"Daniel, your mom and I have been trying for a baby for a while, but we always wanted it to have an older brother to love and be there for him or her. That was you, it still is you. This little person will be real lucky to have you, real lucky." Steve had put his hand on Jo's still flat stomach as he spoke, and Daniel couldn't take his eyes off it.

"Can you feel it yet? You should be able to feel it move shouldn't you?" Daniel wanted to reach out and touch as well, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"No, I don't think so. I don't know when you should be able to feel it, but I bought myself a manual!" Jo leant over and picked up a baby care book from the coffee table. "This takes you through all nine months of the process, an' then the first couple of months of the baby's life. There's another one over there," Jo pointed to the other side of the coffee table, "that's for dads, you can read it if you would like."

"It's not ucky is it? Because I've done sex education at school and some of it is real ucky!" Daniel pulled a face and both Jo and Steve laughed.

"No, Son, it's not, I've only flicked through, but it seems pretty user friendly!"

"Excuse me, Madam, Sir, Master Daniel, but dinner is served." Michael had come silently into the room and they all decided that perhaps actually looking in the books would be better left until another time.

ooo

Rae had taken Anneya out of the trauma suite and then headed up to the cafeteria to get Eliana. The little girl was sitting, half a cookie and an almost empty glass of milk in front of her, drawing pictures for Mark and Shannon on a large white piece of paper. She looked up when she heard her mom's voice and smiled.

"Hi, Mommy, hi, Neya." Then she returned to her drawing.

"Hey, Sweetie, Shannon, Mark, thank you so much for looking after her for me. I can take her home now." Rae stood behind her elder daughter, but she didn't make any move to actually get her to stop drawing.

"Rae, is there anything we can do?" Mark looked anxiously at his friend and his goddaughter, who was held in Rae's arms. He had an idea that he knew what was wrong with the little girl, he had seen the slightly vacant look in patients' eyes many times before, but unless Rae asked him, he would stay quiet.

"No, Mark, thank you, but no, not yet at any rate. Ana, we have to go home, Honey."

For a moment Eliana thought about ignoring her mother, but then she smiled and carefully got down from the chair. Anneya reached out as she saw the cookie on the table and Rae picked it up and gave it to her. "Aah." She smiled and then took a small bite.

"Guys I'm gonna have to run, but I will see you both soon, ok?" Rae turned and made her way towards the exit. Everything that the little girl did or said made her want to cry. She knew that so many things were going to change, she wasn't sure how much of it she would be able to cope by herself and however much Alex told her that she had friends and family to help her, in the end it would be her and her daughters, and she would be alone.

ooo

Sunday morning found Rae still sitting in one of the armchairs in the breakfast room that she had made herself comfortable in the night before. She had put both children to bed not long after she had got home from the hospital, and although Eliana had chattered away to her toys for a while Anneya had closed her eyes and gone straight to sleep. Rae knew that she was still recuperating from her accident, and that she could have probably slept standing up, but she also knew that once the little girl closed her eyes her world was totally dark and silent and that sleep would probably come quite quickly.

She had wanted desperately to call Jesse, to get him to come over, but she wasn't sure if it was because she needed him or if she wanted him to look at Anneya and tell her that everything would be all right. Either way she didn't think she could face him, not with all the different emotions going through her. The look of pity that he had given her in the hospital when she had finally realised, and accepted, that he no longer loved her was still fresh in her mind and she was absolutely certain that she couldn't cope with living through that again.

Rae knew that she must have slept a little during Saturday night, but as the sun came up on the Sunday morning it didn't feel as if it had been anywhere near enough. She made her way into the kitchen, plugged in the baby alarm where she could easily hear any sounds and then made herself a cup of tea and put two pieces of bread in the toaster. Rae had received quite a few e-mails from Steve while she had been in the hospital, all of them keeping her abreast of the situation in both the case involving the Chief's wife, and their Red Rose killer. The Night Owl burglaries that they went back to whenever they struck again had also got a few mentions, and Rae was glad that Jo had updated their security systems while she had been in the hospital but she was also relieved that the guard dogs had gone. Rae didn't know when she would get a chance to go through it all, but she downloaded everything ready for when she had a spare moment.

It was just after eight when Rae heard Eliana beginning to chat to her dolly. She was obviously talking to her toy as if she was in class, and Rae realised how much the child must have missed being in pre-school the previous two weeks. She would be returning to the loving care of Miss Amy on Monday and Rae knew that her daughter would be unable to contain her excitement when she got there.

With a heavy heart Rae climbed the stairs and headed towards the nursery. Her emotions were in a turmoil, she was delighted to be back with both her girls, and was looking forward to the wonderful experience of her daughters spotting her for the first time that day, but also she was desperately worried about Anneya, and knew that if she was still asleep then no amount of shouting or screaming would wake her up.

Rae had just realised that she would have to explain to Eliana why Anneya no longer answered when she spoke to her when she got to the bedroom door, stopped and watched silently for a minute.

Eliana had her back to her mother and was oblivious to her presence. She had her dolly sitting on the bed and, as Rae had surmised, she was 'teaching' her. Anneya was awake, and standing at the bars of her crib looking at her sister. The expression on her face was one of bemusement, and once again Rae's heart broke for her.

Finally, just after ten o'clock, Rae could stand it no longer and she picked up the phone and put a call through to the beach house. Mark answered and Rae asked for Jesse.

"Honey, I'm sorry, he's working today. Now he's back on the official rota again he has to do Sunday's. Is there anything I can do…? Oh, yeah, I think he's working then too, but if you're coming in I'll make sure he gets to see you… No, he'll finish at one tomorrow … of course I don't mind, he can bring my goddaughter here any time he likes… Ok, bye." Mark put the phone down and stood deep in thought for a moment. He knew that there was something seriously wrong with Anneya, something that Alex couldn't share, and Jesse didn't know.

The younger man was fast asleep in his apartment downstairs, having gotten in from his date with Shannon a little after one. Mark had still been up; he had found a Laurel and Hardy marathon on an obscure TV channel and been unable to drag himself away. Thankfully he wasn't scheduled to work at all on the Sunday and was going to dinner at Steve's, so a day of slothful living was all he had planned. He grabbed himself a fresh mug of coffee and went out onto the deck, it would be good to have Anneya come for a visit the next day, and hopefully she would still be enjoying herself when he got home from work at around five.

Mark sat down on one of the loungers and put his drink on a small occasional table. He thought about Anneya and the problems he knew she would have if his personal diagnosis was correct. Head trauma could produce awful injuries and although he knew that Rae wouldn't agree with him, if his goddaughter only suffered hearing loss she would be considered one of the luckier ones. With a shake of his head be began to concentrate on more pleasant memories and he let his mind run back over the moment he had learnt that he was going to become a grandpa again. Daniel was his grandchild, just as surely as if Steve was the boy's natural father, but a baby, that would be wonderful. Mark closed his eyes and a vision of his wife came up in his mind, Katherine, he missed her so much, and she would have made such a great grandma. It hadn't been meant to be, but, just as he always did, he would tell her of all the major things that happened with the new member of the Sloan clan and how much he was enjoying it.

ooo

Rae didn't want to live through another Sunday alone ever again. She had taken the girls downstairs for breakfast and it was clear to her, whatever Alex might say, that Anneya couldn't hear anything that was going on around her. Although she hadn't meant to, Rae knew that she was testing her daughter's hearing every chance she got, speaking her name behind her, or to the side of her; making noises and then watching for a reaction and feeling more and more despondent when there was none.

She had been relieved when her daughter slept, but then she felt guilty because she didn't want her to be awake, and Rae kept reminding herself how, just a week earlier, she would have given anything to have her child returned to her. As the day went on she became short tempered, shouting at Eliana and then feeling guilty about that too.

By the time that she had given the girls their evening meal, they'd had their baths and their hair washed Rae was so tired she could hardly stand up. With a heart so heavy that she wasn't sure she would ever smile again Rae had gathered Eliana and Anneya up in her arms and hugged them before making herself comfortable on the elder child's bed to read a story.

Rae had chosen a book that she knew Anneya loved, it told the story of a small red tractor who made his way around the farm looking for his mommy. Everything he came across had a portion of its surface contained in a square and the idea was to feel it and decide whether the big tractor had been found or not. All the different things that you would find in a farmyard had a page of their own and they could usually make the book last for ages. Although Anneya had looked at her mother as if trying to understand why she couldn't hear the story she had still rubbed her fingers over each furry, smooth or rough square and laughed as she did so.

Once the story had been completed and prayers said Rae kissed each little girl goodnight, made sure that they both had their night-time companions and then she had made her way back downstairs.

Although it was only eight o'clock in the evening Rae felt as if she could sleep for a week, and once she had locked up the house and set the alarm she got her laptop and went up to the bedroom that she used to share with Jesse. Each time she entered the room to go to sleep she would think of the time they had spent there together. It had been happy, they had both loved the house and they would lie together and talk, or make love to each other gently, but with a passion that Rae had thought would never die. Now she feared that she would spend the rest of her life alone.

Once Rae had gone through her own nightly routine she made herself comfortable in the bed and began to read the e-mails and attachments from Steve. She knew that once again she would be away from the station in the morning, and although she felt guilty about it her family had to come first. After about an hour Rae felt her eyelids begin to droop and she switched off her machine and carefully slid it under the bed, then she made herself comfortable and turned off the light.

Two hours later she was in the kitchen making herself a drink of chamomile and lime tea to try and switch her mind off when she heard Anneya begin to cry. Leaving the drink she rushed up to the nursery hoping to get there before Eliana woke up too.

Anneya was standing up in her crib, the tears streaming down her face, one hand was holding the bars and the other her giraffe. With a deep sigh Rae picked her up, and took her back into her own bedroom.

ooo

The phone rang in the Sloan household just as Jo and Steve were making their way down to breakfast. Michael walked sedately across the hallway and picked up the receiver.

"The Sloan residence, how may I help you …? Good morning, Madam, if you would like to hold the line I will see if she is available yet." Michael carefully placed the handset on the telephone table and turned to his employer. "Madam," his voice was slightly hushed as he spoke, "Miss Gardiner is on the telephone from Texas."

Jo rolled her eyes to the heavens and fought down the urge to pretend she was still in bed. "Well, I guess if I don't speak to her now she will be callin' all day." Jo put her hand out and Michael placed the receiver in her palm. "Deb's, how nice to hear from you." Both Steve and Michael knew that she didn't mean a word of it. "Well, thank you, I know that Steve will be glad to hear that… No, no, this week he's standin' in for his captain, an' so he will be on desk duty most of the time… I guess so, but I don't think that is likely for a good while … No, Anneya is home from the hospital now, so things are improvin'… Deb's, you don't have to do that … No, really, you don't have to … Next Friday? I think that we have plans, maybe the Sunday would be better … yeah, ok then, give my love to David … bye now." Jo put the phone down, stuck her tongue out at it and then turned to see the expectant faces of her husband and butler.

"Well, y'all are gonna be just delighted to know that Miss Prissy Knickers is comin' for a little visit … she is concerned about me _spendin'_ _too much time alone in my condition_ an' she thought that I might like to spend some time with her, as she understands how I am feelin'! Urghhh!" Jo shuddered, "I managed to put her off until next Sunday, but then she is comin' for a week, a whole, entire week!"

"Honey, I think that's a wonderful idea, she's just being sociable, and you are always so hard on her. It'll be nice for you two to become friendlier before the babies are born."

"Yeah, right! Michael, I take it breakfast is ready."

"Yes, Madam, if you would like to come this way." Michael indicated with his hand that they should go into the morning room and hoped that he had hidden his own reaction to the forthcoming visit from Debbie Gardiner. He knew that seven days with her in the house would try even his patience.

ooo

The call from room service came just after eight and Matthew thanked the young woman politely and then climbed out of bed. The room was very nice, functional, clean, almost obsessively so, but he was enjoying staying in it. Today was the first day of competition for Dominic and Matthew knew that he wouldn't see him at all until maybe bedtime. He had begun to be aware far more of what his friend was doing and it scared him. He knew that they were the same person, that they shared the same body, but he had never felt quite so much a part of him. Before when terrible things had happened they had been apparent to him just as vague memories, but now he was there when they happened, he felt the thrill of the chase, of the kill, and that both excited and sickened him. The cat, that had been the worst moment of his life, the poor little thing hadn't stood a chance, and he had tried, really tried to assert himself and get Dominic to stop, but he hadn't been able to. But afterwards, after Nadine was dead, he'd been able to break through and he went back to the apartment and he cleaned everything in the kitchen and the living room. He had left the bedroom, because he wasn't allowed in other people's bedrooms, and the bathroom, well there was no force on earth that would have made him go back in there.

Matthew felt Dominic becoming more dominant and he surrendered himself to the inevitable, and with a shudder he was gone, wondering fleetingly as he disappeared whether he would ever come back.

ooo

The classroom at Millbrook Elementary School in Malibu was abuzz with excitement and Mrs Milner knew that she was going to have her work cut out for her keeping the twenty-three children down to a dull roar for most of the day.

They had been doing a project on the major habitats of Southern California, and were getting ready for their field trip to Topanga State Park, which all the children now knew was the largest city park in the United States.

"Ms Milner, Ms Milner, the bus is here, the bus is here!" the excited voice belonged to Jayden Brent, who had been assigned the task of watching out of the window, if only to keep him from getting a detention for over-excitement.

"Ok, everybody, gather up your lunches, make sure that you have your hiking shoes on, I don't want anyone in their sneakers." Mrs Milner paused and looked around; everyone was nodding their heads or holding up a foot so that she could see what they were wearing. The school was in a prosperous area on the outskirts of Malibu and so the request for adequate footwear hadn't been made to families unable to provide their children with what was needed.

"Ms Milner, can we go, please?" The excited voices all began to speak at once after Jayden broke the silence, and the teacher looked around at the beautiful work already on the walls, which had resulted in them getting their field trip in the first place, and then at the faces in front of her, for a moment she put her finger to her lips, held her other hand up in the air and gradually the room descended into silence.

After holding the quiet for a minute Ella Milner smiled, "You may get into your line." The class immediately moved over towards the door and, in the way that they did every morning for recess, stood in alphabetical order waiting for the next instruction. "Now, quietly, because the rest of the school is still working … shhh." She put her finger to her lips again as a few muffled cheers and cries of 'unlucky' rang out, "Quietly, because the rest of the school is still working, you may walk, in an orderly fashion, out of the building …" she paused for effect, "and get on the bus."

ooo

Rae had taken Eliana to pre-school and, as she had predicted, the little girl had been almost beside herself. She had dragged Rae and Anneya into Miss Amy's classroom so that she could show her teacher that her sister was home, and once again the teacher had been kind and considerate in her dealings with the over excited little girl.

"See, Miss Amy, see, Neya home, Neya home, so I come back." Eliana had grinned and Rae, despite her anxiousness over what would be happening that day, had to smile.

"She has missed you dreadfully, Miss Amy, and as you can see you have a very willing pupil here. Any longer away from you and I think she would have left home to find you."

"She is a lovely little girl, and doing so very well here. We missed her over the last two weeks."

Eliana had been following the conversation and now she grasped Miss Amy firmly around the thighs and hugged her tightly. "I wuff you, Miss Amy."

"I think I'd better go, it will be Sally picking up today. Honey, I'll see you later, ok?" Rae crouched down, still holding Anneya tightly by the hand. The little girl hadn't made a sound or a movement since she had entered the classroom.

"K, Mommy, I wuff you too… Bye." The last word was thrown over the little girl's shoulder as she spotted a friend the other side of the room and rushed off towards her. Rae smiled as she watched her confident and happy child, and then she picked up Anneya and promised her silently that she would do everything in her power to ensure that she had a chance to be that way too.

ooo

Mrs Milner's class had spent a very enjoyable morning on the slightly higher trails of Topanga State Park, looking for signs of wildlife and cataloguing the different types of flora and fauna that they found. Although she had tried to get different groups of children together, after about half an hour they had gravitated towards their best friends, and all the groups had changed. She wasn't about to make an issue of it though, they were working extremely well and, as they made their way towards the area where she would count heads and they would work until lunch time, Mrs Milner took the digital camera out once more and began to take a few pictures.

ooo

The Macmillan Conference Centre, in San Francisco, was a large and impressive building and, as Dominic registered at the front desk, he felt a few stirrings of nervousness inside of him. The organisation of the competition was obviously very good, because his name had replaced that of the other employee who had cried off at the last minute, and so, pinning his name badge to his shirt as he walked along, Dominic made his way into the main hall.

The atmosphere was already buzzing, and the nervousness and anticipation rose in him a little more. The entire room was filled with individual work stations, and he checked his number once again and then made his way towards number 107.

The area assigned to him was exactly the same as all the others. He had a small sink with a shower attachment on the taps, a large mirror and a stand containing a hair dryer, a set of curling tongs, straighteners, a hot brush and a variety of different combs. There was also a pile of white fluffy towels and various shampoos and conditioners. On the end of one side of the counter there were two hooks and on the hooks was a wire basket. Dominic opened his backpack and took out his own personal pieces of equipment, which included hair dyes, different coloured hairpieces, clips and barrettes as well as hair sprays, both ordinary and glittered and an advertising card for his home salon.

He had just finished setting all of his things out to their best advantage in the basket when one of the official judges came up to go through them. Dominic could see that her name was Glenda Sloat. She was about fifty to fifty-five, if he was any good at guessing a woman's age, and he thought he probably was. She had on a brown dogtooth check suit with a peach coloured shirt underneath. Her hair, which Dominic though must have been styled by a monumental mason, was steel grey and looked absolutely solid on her head in heavily set waves and curls. Ms Sloat picked up the pair of half moon shaped glasses that hung round her neck on a chain and then peered into the basket.

"Good morning, young man, let us see what you have decided to bring with you." The voice was in total contrast to the person, it was lively, energetic, and despite himself Dominic smiled.

He knew that he had exactly the amount of things he was allowed, he also knew that none of them contravened any of the rules of the competition, and five minutes after arriving Ms Sloat was moving on to contestant 108, who Dominic noticed a few moments later hadn't been so careful as two large cans of spray and a box of Velcro hair curlers were taken away.

Dominic had smiled over at the slightly contrite looking guy next to him, "Tough break, man."

"Yeah, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But, hey, they'll remember me!"

Dominic nodded his head, there was one thing he had no intention of being, and that was remembered, not for hairdressing at any rate.

ooo

The appointment with Doctor Knoll had been arranged for eleven o'clock, and so Rae had taken Anneya out into the garden by the children's ward for her to play with some of the push-along toys and to wear her out a little. Alex had explained to her that the test she was going to have could be done while she was asleep and so, not wanting her daughter to be distressed any more than was necessary, Rae was trying to tire her out, it wasn't a difficult task at the moment, but she still did it, almost pretending that her little girl was as she had always been. She had called the beach house but there had been no reply and Rae had left a message on the answering machine before she remembered that Jesse was working. She left a message at the nurses' station in the ER because Jesse was treating a patient, and then she tried to put her husband out of her mind and concentrate on her little girl.

There was a furry horse toy which you sat on and pushed with your legs, and Anneya went over to it and hugged it around the neck. Then she carefully got onto it, staggering slightly until Rae gently placed her hands on her waist and picked her up.

"Aaa." Rae had felt her daughter jump as she touched her, but once she realised who it was she had smiled at her mother and spoken to her. Rae knew enough about deaf children to realise that she would lose the power of speech, there would be nothing in her life to encourage her to vocalise and so the ability would be lost. There and then she decided that she would get Anneya to talk while she had a tape recorder on so that she would always have a tangible record of her daughter's voice.

"Rae, Doctor Knoll is ready for you now." It was Shannon who had come to find them, and as they rode together in the lift she explained that Alex had arranged for her to stay with Rae so that there was a friendly face with her and Anneya during the test.

Doctor Knoll was very tall, probably about six foot four or five high, and Rae felt extremely intimidated. It wasn't a feeling she was used to, and she knew that she was experiencing it on behalf of her child and she pushed it to the far reaches of her mind before shaking the doctor by the hand and introducing herself.

"Hi, I'm Reagan Travis, and this is my daughter, Anneya. Do you have all her details, or would you like me to tell you about her?"

Doctor Knoll had smiled as Rae spoke and now he shook his head. "No, thank you, that won't be necessary, I have had some excellent notes from Doctor Martin, and all I need to do is wire your daughter up for her test and then the machine will do the work for us. Nurse, I understand that you know Anneya, would you like to help to get her ready?"

"Yes, Doctor." Shannon smiled at her little patient, and Anneya smiled back. Rae had begun to get used to the slightly bewildered look on her daughter's face, but she hoped that it would gradually disappear as she got used to her world of silence.

Gradually, Shannon placed the little headband around Anneya's head, carefully smoothing down her hair before she did so. Then she put small ear pieces into each ear, gently soothing her but holding her still, and even though there were a few tears Rae could see that Shannon was totally in control of the situation and she felt no need to intervene. Once everything was connected up to the main piece of machinery Shannon kissed the little girl on the forehead, straightened up and smiled over at Rae. Although she was being tested for deafness Shannon had spoken softly to the child the entire time she was working with her, and Rae had seen the way Anneya relaxed, the way she watched Shannon's face and more especially her lips as if knowing that she was missing something, but for the first time Rae had a feeling that it didn't matter to her daughter, Shannon's presence had been enough.

"Ok, I think we're ready to begin." Doctor Knoll had kept out of Anneya's way while she had been prepared, and he still did so. The bed that she was laying on made her look so small that Rae wanted to join her and hold her tight, but she resisted the temptation and took a seat in the chair next to her daughter's head and held her hand.

As Anneya's eyes slowly closed and her breathing became deep and even, Rae looked round for Shannon and thanked her for her assistance. After that she sat staring at her daughter and drinking in every part of her as she slept promising her again that she would do everything in her power to give her the life she deserved.


	26. Decisions and Detection

**Chapter 26 – Discussions and Detection**

The ER department had been busier than normal, even for a Monday, and Jesse, who had started work just after seven, hadn't had time to draw breath until lunch time. He knew that Alex was working somewhere close by, Mark too, but he hadn't seen them. His first patient had been wheeled into trauma three at 7.10 and he hadn't actually taken two steps outside the room since. Now though, everything seemed quiet and, looking carefully out of the door, as if expecting patients to start raining down on him, Jesse made his way towards the doctors' lounge and the coffee machine.

"Doctor Travis, your wife called about an hour ago." The voice of one of the young nurses on duty stopped Jesse in his tracks and he turned and moved towards her.

"Did she say what it was about?" Jesse was aware of his heart beating faster, of the feeling of clamminess on his palms, but he could also feel the beginnings of other feelings, he missed her, he wondered why she had contacted him and, for the first time in a long while, he wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

"She said to tell you that Anneya had an appointment with Doctor Knoll at ten and could you please meet her at his office?" The nurse read the message carefully from the piece of paper it had been noted down on.

"Why didn't someone come and get me?" Jesse looked at the young woman in front of him as he tried to remember what it was that Doctor Knoll actually did.

"You were in with your cardiac arrest patient, Doctor, and then you had three from the RTA, we just didn't have a chance. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, it was kind of hectic. I'll go right on over … um, where is Doctor Knoll, exactly?"

"In Audiology, Doctor." The nurse's words caused Jesse's heart to fall, but he just nodded his head and made his way towards the elevator. Once he was inside and out of sight of everyone he leant against the back wall and closed his eyes. He tried to tell himself that Anneya was just having routine tests, that any child would have to have them after a head injury, but it didn't work and he wasn't able to lift his spirits at all. The jolting of the lift and the sound of air being released as the doors opened told Jesse that he was at his desired destination, so he pulled himself together and walked out into the hallway.

Jesse recognised the nurse outside the offices of Doctor Knoll as Shannon and he smiled at her. "Jesse, Rae's inside, Anneya's being tested, but you can go in, I'm sure they won't mind." She smiled back at one of her boyfriend's best friends and was delighted for Rae that he had arrived. Then she watched silently as he took a deep breath, opened the door and went inside.

ooo

Steve sat in Newman's office and looked at the desk in front of him. For a start it was set out for a right-handed person, and so he'd had to switch everything around. He hadn't worked out why everything had seemed wrong on the Saturday but on the Monday morning it had been instantly obvious and now he had moved it all so that he could put his hand on the different things he would need. The only problem was he couldn't actually remember where they had been before he moved them, which was a worry, but not one he would have to deal with until Friday or Saturday when he would also have to take the picture of Jo and Daniel off the desk and replace the one of Mrs Newman, which was currently lying face down in the bottom drawer.

He had often grumbled about the amount of mail he received, but it was nothing compared to what the Captain got. There was a pile of letters in the in-box which looked as if it was about to burst out of the elastic band holding it all together. In the middle of the desk was a list of the things that he hoped to get done during the day, but as he had spent most of the morning on the phone he was now having serious doubts about his ability to even work his way through half of it.

The top item was to speak to Rae about the pictures they'd received earlier the previous week. While Anneya had been in the hospital he'd decided that it would be better not to tell her that they had been under scrutiny the entire time that they were in the club. He'd hoped to get it out of the way first thing that morning, but there had been a message on his desk informing him that she was taking Anneya back to the hospital and would be in as soon as she could after one in the afternoon. It was now twelve-thirty and he was counting on her arriving in the next hour.

The squad room was half empty; Cheryl was out on a call following up a murder that happened three weeks earlier and had stalled ever since. Now though, she felt that she had a lead and Steve didn't expect to see her again for a little while yet. Ben Chapman and Sam Yip were both testifying in court and so they weren't planning on coming in to the station at all. The other detectives in the department were working quietly, but somehow the friendly air that the room usually produced seemed to be missing, and Steve knew that it had a lot to do with not only who wasn't there, but the fact that he wasn't where he felt most at home, and he needed to accept that, for the next seven days, his place was elsewhere.

ooo

By one in the afternoon the conference centre was buzzing. Each work station had one model and one hairdresser working at it, and the judges, including Ms Sloat, were continually walking up and down the rows, speaking to different contestants each time, and making copious notes.

Dominic had been spoken to just after he had finished washing his model's hair. The male judge who had stopped had been fidgety and nervous, repeating his questions, and taking down the answers in a bird-like scrawl. About thirty minutes or so later, when he was blow-drying the longest sections of hair into a neat and tidy bob, he got his second visit from the judges. He had turned the hair dryer off and waited patiently while Ms Sloat asked the model how she was being treated, whether her stylist was considerate and competent. Once she had answered in the affirmative Dominic had been smiled at and he had begun drying once again.

Dominic's model was called Jenny, she was, she told him, twenty-three years old, and wanted to work in retail. Her hair was a beautiful shade of red, naturally so, and came halfway down her back. It was thick, shiny, completely straight and Dominic was delighted with it. The competition was slightly different on each day, and he knew that if he progressed into the next round tomorrow his model would have curly hair. Today though he was standing before a blank canvas and as he dried the last section of hair he began to see his finished design in his head.

ooo

Jesse stood just inside Doctor Knoll's office and watched the scene in front of him. Rae had her back to the door, her hand was holding that of their daughter and she was staring intently at Anneya as she slept. Doctor Knoll was at his desk, a tablet of lined paper in front of him and he was filling it with notes. After a minute or two Jesse cleared his throat and tapped lightly on the doorframe.

"Yes, may I help you, Doctor?" Julian Knoll stood up and Jesse felt very small.

"Yeah, um, hi, that's my daughter on the bed." Jesse could hear the confusion in his voice and he waited for Rae to step in and save him.

"Mrs Travis?" Julian had realised who the child was, had known that her father worked in the hospital and had split from his wife. The Community General gossip-mill churned out tales, true and false, at a steady rate and although he didn't like to think of himself as a participant he was always interested to hear what was happening around the hospital.

Rae had stood up when she realised who had come in, she carefully laid her daughter's hand back on the bed and then moved to one side. "Would you like to sit with her for a while? I can wait outside."

"No, no, we can do this together." Jesse wasn't sure if he could do as he had said, but he knew that he had to try, there had to be a point where he grabbed his fear, pushed it to one side and tried to live with it instead of shutting it out. There was nothing threatening in this room not to him at any rate, so maybe, just maybe, now was the time to start trying. The smile on his wife's face told him that he had made the right decision.

ooo

The picnic lunches had disappeared extremely quickly. Mrs Milner had been amazed at the different types of food that had been carried in the backpacks of her pupils. The ordinary fare of sandwiches, chips, fresh fruit or a cupcake and drink seemed to have been replaced in many cases by all sorts of fancy things. She had seen burritos, which she knew must be cold, packs of cheese with small savoury crackers, one child had little pizza bases which he put meat and cheese on before popping the whole lot in his mouth in one go. There had been chocolate rolls, even though the letter home had said specifically no chocolate, candy or soda, and her experienced eye and brain had taken a note of the children to concentrate on during the bus ride home and she hoped she would remember to ask the driver to open a few of the roof windows before they set off.

Once everything had been eaten all the rubbish was properly disposed of in the various trash receptacles placed around the picnic area and for a while a quiet calm descended over the twenty-three children. One or two of the smaller ones had fallen asleep, and even Jayden and his friend Emmanuel were sitting quietly together, their Gameboys linked with a cable as they challenged each other to one of the more popular games.

Mrs Milner moved carefully around her little group, enjoying the peace, and the different type of company they provided her with in an outdoor environment. She bent down and picked up one of the silver pouches that had contained orange drink and smiled; she had seen it fall from the hand of Millie Jones as she struggled to get all her rubbish in the bin and, knowing that the child was likely to burst into tears if she thought she had unintentionally dropped litter, she'd said nothing.

Twenty minutes later, as if on cue, the children began to get noisy and active again, and Ella Milner got her lesson plan out of her bag and cleared her throat. "Right, children, we have done marvellously so far, but unfortunately this is our last activity." She paused as the disappointed cries of the class went up, after a moment she held up her hand and silence returned. "What I want you to do is make your way down the trail and then one of you will remain on the path and the other will go into the trees. You will look around you and then swap places. Don't all choose the same place to stop; there is plenty of forest for everyone. Now, when I say into the trees I don't mean a three mile hike!" she looked purposefully at Jayden and Emmanuel as she spoke, and both boys just grinned back at her. "Once you have each looked at the area you will confer, write down all the things you have seen and then join me ready to make your way back to the bus. Now, does any one have any questions?"

"Please, Miss Milner, can we go to the bathroom first?" The cry came from Emma Bright, a tiny little blonde haired child, one of the youngest and smallest in the class, and probably the only one willing to call out such a question. Once she had done so though the floodgates were open, Mrs Milner shuddered as she realised how she had phrased her thoughts, and soon there was a queue outside both restrooms as each child made him or herself comfortable for the afternoon's activities.

ooo

Rae made her way into the squad room and plonked herself down in the chair behind her desk and realised immediately that it had been swapped while she was away. Her chair had been replaced a little while ago, and was obviously the most comfortable one in the department. She cast her eyes around the room and found it almost immediately, behind Steve's desk, she wheeled the slightly rickety one back to its normal place, retrieved her own chair and then sat and let her mind wander for a few minutes before remembering that Steve would be in Newman's office.

Steve looked up from his paperwork as he heard a knock on the door and smiled with relief as he saw Rae standing waiting to enter. "Come in, Rae." He stood as she did just that and indicated one of the chairs in front of the desk for her to sit in.

"Hi, Steve, I'm sorry I'm late, but the tests took longer than I thought." Rae swallowed the lump that she could feel in her throat and looked at her partner, determined not to let the emotion she was feeling envelope her.

"Don't worry, I know you wouldn't stay away if it wasn't necessary, but what tests did Anneya have to have done?" Steve could see that Rae was struggling with herself, that she was just about keeping her feelings under control.

"She had to have an ABR test, an Auditory Brainstem Response test." Rae paused for a moment before continuing. "She's Deaf, Steve, Anneya is almost totally Deaf." Rae looked down; the pity she knew she would see in her friend's eyes would be too much.

"Oh, God, Rae, I am so sorry, I … I don't know what to say." Steve looked away, he could hear the emotion in his voice, and just as Rae had done he fought for control. As he sat, trying desperately to think of something reassuring to say, and coming up with nothing, things he had been concerned about came back to him. Steve remembered how, when Rae had come to pick up Eliana after Anneya came home, the little girl had totally ignored him, hadn't turned to him as he spoke, and had literally jumped out of her skin when her sister touched her. Now he understood, she had done both those things because she'd had no idea that either of them were anywhere near her.

"Steve?" Rae had watched her partner and seen not pity as she had expected but something else. She saw him wrestle his emotions back under control and then she saw understanding in his features, he was sad, she had no doubt about that, but she realised that he had seen signs of it, as she had, but he too had misread them.

"Rae, I'm sorry, look, do you want to go home? Who has her, is she with Sally?" Steve stood up and moved over to Rae, taking her into his arms to hug her, needing the reassurance from her as much as he knew she needed it from him.

"No, no, I don't. She's with Jesse." Rae pulled back from the welcome embrace, but kept a hand on Steve's arm. "He came in about halfway through the test, and he stayed, he stayed until the end, and then he took her home with him. Whatever his problems, he is her daddy, it's where she should be."

"Well then, we have other things to talk about and deal with, but if anything changes, just let me know and go home, ok?" Steve could see that Rae was tired, he wasn't surprised, but he needed her, they had a horrendous caseload right now, and his being out of action behind a desk was not helping it any.

Rae nodded, ran her fingers through her hair and then began to listen to what Steve had to say.

ooo

The judges had been past Dominic's workstation so many times he had lost count. He knew that he had been so deep in concentration that they could have sat and eaten their lunch right next to him and he wouldn't have noticed, but he did know that they had been over to him many more times than the guy next door. Finally, just after four o'clock a gong sounded and all the contestants put down whatever it was they were using on their model's hair, removed the cape from around the girl's shoulders and swung the chair round so that it faced out into the auditorium.

The next forty-five minutes were spent in almost total silence as the judges made their way up and down the aisles for the last time. Dominic knew that they had probably already made their decisions but were just double-checking. There were four judges and gradually they all met together on the stage at one end of the hall.

"Ladies an' Gentlemen, the quality of work that we have seen this afternoon has been exceptional. We have had an extremely hard time decidin' who will go through to the second round tomorrow, an' would encourage all of you not lucky enough to make it to enter again next year." The head of judges was a middle-aged man, around five ten in height who spoke with a deep Texas accent. "We will call your number out only if you are progressin' to the next stage, an' they will be in numerical order. If you are called please pick up your entry card for tomorrow on the way out, no one will be allowed in here without one."

Ten minutes later Dominic had packed up his personal belongings, including the card for the next day and headed back towards his hotel room. He had a date that evening, and he wanted to sleep for an hour or two before he got ready, and tomorrow he would be busy again.

ooo

Cheryl had a feeling that Steve wasn't going to be very impressed with what she had to report, and she hoped that he was in a good mood. She doubted it, because he wasn't a great lover of desk duty, although she had a feeling that would change when the baby she had heard about the previous week arrived. As she walked into the squad room Cheryl heard raised voices, and wished that she was still on the road.

"And you didn't think to tell me? And don't give me that about Anneya again, Steve, do you have any idea how this makes me feel? To have someone take pictures of me, someone I don't know and then they send it here, where I work? Just … just like before." Rae's voice had been loud and insistent, but as she finished her sentence it trailed away, to be replaced by Steve, who Cheryl could tell was trying to appease his partner but was still easy to hear.

"Rae, that is exactly why I didn't tell you. After what Phillip Levington did to you and Jesse, there was no way I was gonna let you know about this while Anneya was so badly hurt and Jesse so … vulnerable. You were far safer not knowing, and you were in the hospital where … I … I just thought I was doing the right thing." Steve stopped talking; now that they were together he wondered whether he had made the wrong call, but at the time he had been certain that not telling Rae was the right way to go.

"Steve, I have to tell you that I disagree totally with what you said, if I had been looking after Anneya at the hospital when Levington was around he would have found out no problem and come and shot up the place, or taken my child or something, just like Willis did. This guy, who kills people, Steve, sends in a picture and you think it's safer that I don't know? Words fail me!"

"Yeah, I wish they would." Steve realised with horror that he had spoken aloud as he saw Rae's face.

"What did you say?" Rae stared at him, she couldn't believe what she had just heard and was about to launch at him again when she felt herself begin to smile and then she laughed out loud. "There are days, Sloan, when you seriously push your luck."

Steve, not sure why Rae had suddenly found his gaff funny, smiled too. He knew he had been let off the hook and he had no intention of irritating her any more, not for the foreseeable future. As the tension in the room receded there was a knock at the door and both Rae and Steve looked around to see Cheryl standing there, a slightly bemused look on her face.

"Hi, Cheryl, come on in." Steve stood up as his old friend came into the room and once again indicated for her to sit down.

"Hi, Rae, Steve, I guess it's safe to come in without the aid of a tin hat and a safety net then?"

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that, there is still the matter of my chair, Lieutenant-acting-Captain Sloan!" Rae tried to get her angry voice back, but the relief at having a light hearted conversation with someone was so total that she failed miserably.

The banter carried on a little longer, and then they began to get back to business. Rae would be working with Cheryl for the week while Steve was otherwise engaged and so the three of them went over various cases and brought each other up to date on things. Once everything that both Steve and Rae had wanted discussed had been covered Cheryl began to speak.

"I uh, I went past our guy Matthew Little's address on the way back from my witness interview." Cheryl had told Rae about the details she had found out that afternoon and so she carried on talking. "There's a problem."

"Why did I just know you were gonna say that?" Steve shook his head; he had to admit he hadn't given the man a second thought since he had left the squad room the day the pictures arrived. "So, what is the problem?"

"You mean apart from the fact that the address doesn't exist?" Cheryl grimaced as she finished imparting her bad news.

"What? How can it not exist? He was reporting a crime, not trying to cover his tracks." Steve's voice had risen as he spoke, but he lowered it as he noticed two or three heads raise in the room beyond his office. "How can it not exist?"

"Steve, there is no road called Meridian Way in Los Angeles. There is a Meridian Terrace and a Meridian Street they are both a little ways off the Pasadena Freeway, but no Meridian Way. I checked and double checked." Cheryl shook her head, knowing that she hadn't finished yet.

"I have no idea who Matthew Little is, but didn't he leave a home number or a cell number?" Rae looked at Cheryl as she spoke, and saw her shake her head.

"Nope, the phone number is a phoney, well, it's not, it exists, it's a pizza place in Pasadena. He had the area right, and the cell phone number he gave me belonged to an elderly lady who was so worried when I called her that I had to go and see her to make sure I hadn't given her a fatal coronary!"

"And had you?" Rae smiled as she asked the question.

"No, but I should think it was a pretty close run thing. She keeps her phone in a plastic bag in the bottom of her purse. She only had it switched on because she needed to call her sister and so she had gotten her daughter to get it all ready for her before she left home. It was so old I'm surprised she could lift it, I hadn't realised how small these things have got…" Cheryl saw the look on Steve's face and decided it was time to wrap things up. She had a feeling that the fruit cake she had in her car should remain her little secret. "Anyhow, I don't think she has anything to do with the missing suitcases."

"Thank you, Detective." Steve was annoyed at what had happened, and the fact that Cheryl had spent precious time chasing something that didn't exist. "It still doesn't explain why someone would come into the station and pretend that he had his suitcases stolen. I guess we just file him away and get back to more pressing matters."

"Funny little guy, I don't think I would know him again if he walked in right now, but at least he was happy to leave when you had your hissy fit about those photos."

Rae felt herself go very cold. "He was here when you got the pictures through the post?"

Steve nodded his head. He had been furious when he had found the picture of himself and Rae, talking together at Red's Nightclub, in his mail. When another identical one had been in her pile of letters too he had felt very uneasy. Now as Rae spoke he felt that feeling coming back again.

"Right here, in the squad room, when you did what?"

"I … what did I do?" For a minute Steve thought back. He had been joking around with Cheryl, Alison had come up with the mail, and that strange little man had followed her up. Cheryl, who hadn't wanted to be at work and had nothing to do, had rescued the desk sergeant by dealing with him and he had gone back to his own desk. "I opened my mail and when I got to that one I yelled out and you … you came over and then he left." Steve looked at Cheryl for confirmation of what he had just said.

"Yeah, that's right, I'd finished taking the details anyway and so I got rid of Mr Little, we got the picture dusted, showed the Captain, and then, well then I guess we just got on with our day."

"It was him." Rae stopped talking, she just sat, totally sure of what she had said.

"What do you mean it was him?" Steve knew exactly what she meant, but he really hoped that he was wrong.

"The guy who Cheryl interviewed, the guy who came up into our squad room and watched you open your mail. It was him, our Red Rose Killer."


	27. A Bone to Pick

**Chapter 27 – A Bone to Pick**

The sun was shining on the beach at Malibu and Jesse sat on a blanket, his two daughters just beside him. Anneya had slept a little less than he had expected, which meant that he had enjoyed her company for longer than usual. He had picked Eliana up early from Sally, wanting to spend as much time with the two of them as possible.

Jesse had stayed for just over an hour and a half with Sally explaining the situation to her, and had been relieved and delighted that she still wanted to look after his daughter. In fact the whole meeting had gone better than he'd dared hope, and he knew that when he told Rae what had happened she would be delighted too. _Told Rae_, Jesse realised that he was actually making plans to speak to his wife without feeling that his world might fall apart and, as he watched his daughters play together, he went back over his successful trip.

_"Jesse, what a lovely surprise, how are you?" Sally had seemed genuinely pleased to see him and Anneya at her front door and they had both beamed at her._

_"I'm good, well, not as good as I used to be, but getting better all the time, thanks."_

_"I'm gla…" _

_"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" The voice of his eldest daughter split the air and Sally turned, trying to be stern and, in Jesse's view, only partially succeeding._

_"Eliana, what do we do when someone rings the doorbell?"_

_"We waitin pyawoom. __Yana__, sowee."__ Eliana looked at the floor and Jesse wasn't sure whether she was actually sorry or putting on an act and he realised that he had missed a lot of growing time with his children._

_"Well, I suggest that you go back, Daddy will come to you … go on!"_

_Eliana turned without another word and traipsed back the way she had come, as she got closer to the door Jesse could hear her mumbling to herself, and he was sure that Miss Amy got a mention there someplace._

_Sally had placed a hand on Anneya's arm and the little girl had smiled at her. "Aii, eee."_

_"How did everything go this morning?" Sally held out her arms as Anneya leant towards her and she carefully took her from Jesse. "You don't mind do you? I have missed her so much."_

_"No, I don't mind at all, in fact we need to talk, could I come in?"_

_"I'm sorry, of course, but maybe we should go down the hall, I think we have left Eliana alone for long enough."_

Jesse looked at his eldest daughter who was carefully filling a bucket with sand and shook his head. She had been sitting just inside the door to the playroom when they arrived there and had looked up, her dark brown eyes full of tears, and he'd felt his heart melt. After a nod from Sally, he had crouched down and been almost flattened by the hug he received, and then, once she had been appeased, both Eliana and Anneya had gone to play with the toys and he and Sally had begun to talk again.

_"How did you get on this morning? Did Rae go with you?"_

_"Rae took her, I was on duty, but I got there about halfway through the test." He had paused, he was about to tell someone for the first time what was wrong with his daughter, and for a moment he wasn't sure if he could do it. He looked up as he felt Sally's hand on his arm and blurted out the truth. "Sally, Anneya is Deaf, she can't hear anything. The test came back with a result of profoundly Deaf."_

_Sally had been obviously upset and for a while the room had been silent except for Eliana's happy chatter as she played, and Jesse had known that she was content; she was back at pre-school, back with Sally, and her daddy and her sister were here too, for a three-year-old that was almost perfect._

"Neya! Daddy, yook!" Eliana's offended voice broke into his thoughts and he did as he was told and looked. The sandcastle in front of him was now a batted down pile of sand, and Anneya had a grin on her face.

"Honey, when you were little, you used to do that too. I tell you what, why don't I make a row of castles for you and your sister to knock down?"

"Es peeze." The offer was immediately taken, there was, Jesse knew, something very therapeutic about knocking down someone else's sandcastles and as he lined them up he let his mind drift off again.

_"Jesse?" Sally's voice was charged with emotion, and he had looked across to see her sitting, with tears in her eyes, staring at his youngest child._

_"Yes? Oh, Sally, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."_

_"Jesse, I have never looked after a child longer than about a year before, your two daughters are so much a part of my life that when they hurt, I hurt too, and they have been through so much in their short lives, it is so unfair. But … but if you want Anneya to go to a specialised carer I will understand."_

_"Sally, no! I certainly don't, and I'm pretty sure that Rae hasn't even had time to think things through yet, but she has said before that you provide one of the few rocks in her life, she won't want you to stop having the girls."_

_"I've done a course on working with Deaf children, and I'll contact the local college to see what else is available. I'm sure that you're totally overwhelmed by this, but I'll help in any way I can with whatever you want me to do."_

Jesse looked at the battered and flattened row of sandcastles, which now resembled sand-hovels and pretended to be upset, both children rushed at him and he took them into his arms and hugged them. They would be alright, both of them, Eliana would carry on in her happy, sunny, and occasionally stubborn, way, and Anneya would get all the help she needed to do the same, he and Rae would make sure of that.

ooo

The day had seemed almost never-ending to Rae; she had spoken to Ron about her assertion that Matthew or Dominic Little was their Red Rose Killer and he had agreed with her. She had then called Sally and found out that Jesse had the children with him at the beach house.

By six o'clock she was so tired that she wasn't sure if she could actually drive to both Malibu and Beverly Hills. Jesse had answered the phone when she called him and offered to keep the children until the morning and, with the prospect of finally getting a full night's sleep stretching out in front of her, Rae had left the station and headed for home.

Dinner had been a frozen meal defrosted and cooked in the microwave, not very palatable, but it had filled her up and was quick and easy. Rae had planned in the car to eat, sleep and nothing more, but she found her footsteps taking her towards the computer in the small office she had set up down the hallway and soon she was surfing the net for anything and everything on deafness in children.

ooo

Detective Jemimah Monroe, known to all the other officers in the Santa Monica Police Department as Marilyn, looked down at the body at her feet and shuddered. It had obviously been where it was for a long time, and she knew that they would have a difficult job just working out who it was, let alone who was responsible for what had happened. Of course, nothing could be all that had happened, with just a partial skeleton left it was difficult to decide whether this was accidental death or murder, but Doctor Saperstein was a good ME, and he would work it out. That was if he ever got here, the weather was awful, the rain was coming down in sheets, and the beautiful clear blue skies of the day were just a memory. Snuggling into her waterproofs a little more the young cop waited for someone to come and join her and her bony friend.

ooo

"Walter, this is not a problem, we've had a wonderful dinner, and I don't mind at all accompanying you on this call." Amanda smiled across at the elderly gentleman driving the car slowly through the rain. She was a little concerned about her friend actually working at all in the torrential downpour Los Angeles was experiencing, and if she could get him to stay in his vehicle she would do just that.

"Amanda, this is kind of a busman's holiday for you. We were supposed to have a nice dinner to keep in touch, and for me to meet your intended. He had to leave early because of a call from his office, and now I have had to do the same, but you didn't have to come with me."

"Are you trying to say that you would rather work without me?" Amanda asked the question in as serious a voice as she could muster, knowing that her companion would instantly apologise.

"No, no, of course not, I'm sorry if you got that impression … Amanda, stop it, you are kidding me now." The gentleman, who, Amanda knew, was about ten years younger than Mark, and not nearly as spry, took his eyes of the road for a second to smile at her.

"Yes I am, and here, you need to turn right here." Amanda saw the sign for Topanga State Park just as Walter did and indicated where he should go. She then watched as the world about her got darker and a little claustrophobic from all the trees and knew that by accompanying him she could be in for a long night.

The actual crime scene, or supposed crime scene, was lit up with arc lights, but the trees were a definite hazard and Amanda was glad that she had worn a trouser suit and flat pumps for her dinner date. To her amazement Walter handed her a spare pair of rubber boots which, as they were a couple of sizes too large, she slid on over her shoes. "I always come prepared."

"Doctor Saperstein, thank you for coming." A young woman's voice cut through the darkness, and a face was suddenly visible in the lit up section of the forest. "We're over here, Sir."

"Thank you, Jem, thank you, it is you isn't it?"

"Yes, Doctor, it's me, you know I get all the goodies. Oh, hi, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you had company, I'm Detective Jemimah Monroe, but most people call me Marilyn."

"I hope you don't mind me tagging along with Doctor Saperstein, but we were having dinner together. Doctor Amanda Bentley; I'm Adjunct County Medical Examiner for Los Angeles." Amanda saw the young officer smile, obviously relieved that she wasn't going to have to send her back to the car.

"Well, if you would both like to come with me, I'll show you what we have."

The journey into the trees was squelchy and slippery and Amanda kept a hand on Walter's arm, not only to keep herself upright, but him as well. After a few minutes they stopped and looked down at the skeletal remains of someone.

"Hmm, he or she's been here a little while. Some bits are missing by the look of it, probably taken by small animals, but we have the skull, and the lower extremities seem to be intact. Difficult to tell whether the bones still smell, which would give us a time indication, but if we move them to look at back at the lab they are likely to fall apart, so I guess we are in for a long and very wet evening, my dear." Walter had been playing a flashlight over the scene as he spoke, and Amanda could see him taking in the minutia of their job as he did so.

"Who found the body?" Amanda directed her question at Jemimah, who appeared to be the only plain clothes officer at the scene.

"There was a group of school kids out on a day excursion. They were told to keep close to the path, one group of two boys didn't do as they were told, and hey presto, one late wet night in the forest!" The artificial brightness was lit up even more as a camera flash went off, and Amanda turned to see a young man taking pictures. "That's Richard Jamieson, my partner and picture-taker extraordinaire. I'm guessing that you work mostly with a different division, so you won't have seen us before."

"No, I haven't. I don't get to all parts of the city, which is a shame. I would imagine that in the daylight, and without the rain, this is a lovely place." The flash went off again and Amanda and Jemimah returned to the matter at hand.

ooo

The bay area of San Francisco was lit up beautifully and Dominic looked out across the water and took in a deep breath. He hadn't realised, until he returned, just how much he had missed being here.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" the voice that spoke to him was as golden as its owner's hair and he turned and smiled.

"Yeah, I used to live here, a few years ago now, I hadn't realised that it had made such an impression on me." Dominic pulled her a little closer to him as he spoke. "Just like you have."

"So, would you like to go down and walk on the sand? It seems a shame to end such a lovely night quite yet, and it's almost deserted."

"Lucy, you have some wonderful ideas, I am so glad I met you." Dominic took her hand in his and they made their way towards the steps and down onto the beach.

ooo

The beach house was finally quiet and Mark, Alex and Jesse sat, as they had done for over an hour, exhausted, in the living room listening to the rain pound down on the deck. "Jesse, I love your daughters dearly, but I am getting too old for this." Mark laughed as he eased himself out of the chair he was sitting in and began to put the Twister game away.

"Hey, blame your grandson and Maddie; they're the ones who introduced her to it, not me." Jesse laughed as well, the game they had played had been lively and entertaining, Eliana had been given the responsibility of explaining the game to her daddy and Alex while Anneya had sat on her Grandpa Mark's lap and helped him turn the spinner. She had also eaten a plate of jelly sandwiches, drunk a carton of juice and then fallen asleep in Mark's lap.

"Guys, thank you, thank you for taking me in, for letting me start to find myself again at my own pace. Mark, please, can I stay a little longer?" Jesse was suddenly afraid that his old friend might want him to move out, would think that because they had spent an evening laughing and joking together like old times he was ready to return to his previous life, and he wasn't, not yet.

"Jesse, you know that you can stay here as long as you want, and the girls can come over whenever you want them too, as long as we hide that game! But, and it is a big but, you have a wife who loves and needs you, she thinks that you don't love her any more, you have to sort that, one way or the other, it's not fair on you and it's not fair on her either."

Jesse's eyes had grown wide as he heard Mark speak and now as he answered him he realised some of what he had done. "No, Mark, no, it's not that I don't love her, I didn't ever tell her I didn't love her did I? Oh God, Rae, I am so sorry."

"Jesse, I don't know if you actually said those words, but you didn't tell her that you do love her either did you? And telling someone that you wished you had never met them isn't exactly declaring undying devotion." Mark's expression was full of compassion and he felt his young friend's pain.

"Jesse," Alex wasn't sure he should intervene but he'd had more contact with Rae than either of his friends recently, "all she wants is her life back the way it was. She knows it can't be, but that is what she wants. And she loves you, just as she has always done."

"That was all I wanted too." Jesse stood up; the pleasure of the evening was gone. He moved across the room and reached for the phone, but saw that it was coming up to ten o'clock and he knew that Rae had been planning an early night; she would probably be fast asleep already.

"Jess, what you have to tell her can't be done on the phone, you need to sit down and talk with her, get everything out into the open, let her fight your demons alongside you, because that's the only place she has ever wanted to be." Mark had followed as he realised that Jesse was heading for the phone, and now he placed a hand on Jesse's shoulder.

"I … I do love her, Mark, it's just … it's just so hard to be with her right now." Jesse couldn't say anything more, he knew that the person he had to talk to was Rae, however hard, however painful; she was the one who would ultimately help him.

ooo

Rae finally closed down her computer and stretched herself. The amount of information on the internet had been staggering. Not all of it had been of use, but she had at least been heartened to know that she wasn't alone, that her child wasn't alone either. The task that lay before them though was, as she had thought, immense, and Rae knew that to make any type of success of it would mean dedicating herself to it for the rest of her daughter's life, or at least until she could take control herself. It was a task that Rae was more than happy to take on, although she would be far happier if she didn't have to do it at all. With a yawn and a shake of her head Rae looked at her watch, saw with dismay that it was after nine-thirty which wasn't anywhere near as early as she had planned to go to bed, and made her way out into the hallway, she set the building alarm and then went up the stairs and towards her room.

The house had a totally different feel to it when it was empty, Rae felt as if she was an interloper, as if she was tippy-toeing around someone else's home, and she was glad to close the bedroom door and enjoy her own suite. The wedding picture of her and Jesse was sitting in its place of honour on her dressing table. For a long time anything to do with photos or photography had taken her back, in her mind at least, into Levington's clutches. She'd just begun to come to terms with it and enjoy the pictures of herself with Jesse and her new family when she had lost everything in a house fire and to her surprise Rae had felt the loss of all the photographic reminders more than anything, but thanks to her mother and her friends she now had a complete new set and, as she no longer had a husband, it was one of her few reminders of one of the happiest days of her life.

Rae sat at the dressing table and ran the brush through her hair; it was in need of a cut, and she couldn't decide whether to keep it long or go back to her short spiky look. There was a bit of grey showing through too, and although she didn't think she would contemplate it seriously, the idea of colouring it came into her mind.

"You are supposed to be winding down for an undisturbed night's sleep, not fiddle-arsing about in front of the mirror, get yourself a shower and go to bed!" Rae stood up as she spoke, stuck her tongue out at herself, and made her way into the shower, stifling a yawn as she did so.

ooo

"You know, if we had both decided to specialise in something ordinary, like brain surgery, we would be in our own warm little houses right now, I would probably be retired, and we would both be fast asleep." Walter dried his glasses on the towel he kept in his pocket, for about the hundredth time, and then continued his painstaking evaluation of the remains before him.

"But think of all the fun times we would have missed. All the clues that might have slipped past someone else, the exciting places we have visited that other doctors fear to go, sewers, storage lockers, forests at midnight, or eleven-thirty at least ... No, I see what you mean; a nice warm bed seems real enticing right now. But I disagree on one thing."

"Oh, what's that?" Walter's voice was a little distant as he carefully probed underneath a limb.

"You wouldn't have retired; you would still be there, doing your brain surgery or whatever it was." She smiled and watched as Doctor Saperstein carried on his work.

"You may be right, you may be … well now, what do we have here? Amanda, my dear, could you shine the flashlight for me, I think I may have found something rather interesting."

Walter had worked quietly and with almost total concentration for a long while. Pictures had been taken; he had also made a sketch of how he saw his find. Once that had been done he spoke intently with Amanda, asking her opinion and giving her his. As soon as she realised what information the body was giving up Amanda moved outside the shelter of the trees, where the signal wasn't good, and punched in the telephone number of one of her closest friends.

ooo

The warm water of the shower had relaxed Rae wonderfully, and she had rubbed in some lavender scented body lotion for good measure. The bed had finally been changed once Anneya came home, and so she slipped in between the clean cool sheets and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The ringing was getting more and more insistent and Rae put her arm out, her hand patting the nightstand until it found the phone. She put the receiver to her ear and hoped upon hope that it was a wrong number. "Detective Yeager." The voice of her friend reached her ears, and Rae woke up quickly noticing that her full night's sleep had lasted just over three hours.

ooo

Steve stood up and switched off the television set, picked up the empty beer can from the table and moved back out into the kitchen to put it in the recycling. Once he had done that, and double-checked that everything was locked up tight for the night he began the climb to his bedroom. Michael had offered to stay up until his movie had finished, but Steve had told him to go to bed. The film was three hours long, and it may have taken him seven years, but he had finally seen that boat sink, and now he was definitely ready for some sleep.

As he let the water from the shower beat down on his back Steve tried to work out why sitting at a desk all day was more tiring than being both on the street and fitting in desk work when he could. He hadn't decided by the time he was ready to dry himself off, and so decided that it was too late to try.

As he carefully climbed into bed next to his sleeping wife he looked over at her, she was by far the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, and he still had to pinch himself to realise that her loving him wasn't a fantasy, and that he wouldn't wake up and find himself alone again. He slid down into the warmth of the bed, letting her scent waft over him and accompany him into his dreams.

"No, please, no!" The face of the person in front of her was indistinct, and Jo didn't think she wanted to try to make it out anyway. The hands though, the ones trying to touch her stomach, to take her child from her, were black, and she knew, through her dream, just who it was. "You can't do this, not now, please." She tried to back away from him, but someone took her arms and held her tight, Jo began to struggle, to turn this way and that, to loosen the hold the person had on her, but the voice stopped her dead. "Don't fight me, Jo. It's no good; no good." She knew it was her husband's voice, but she couldn't hear everything he was saying, and she had no idea why he was holding her, keeping her where Werner could get her, she had to get away, escape from wherever she was. For a second she felt herself falling and then, feeling pressure again, Jo looked wildly around her, she had no idea where she was, but in the distance she could see the hedge that hid her private glade, she would go there, there she was safe and no one could harm her. "Let me go … LET ME GO!" She screamed, but still she could hear him. "Jo, Honey, shhh, it's ok." His voice had changed, he didn't mean her harm now, if only she could reach him.

Steve didn't know what it was that woke him, but as soon as he opened his eyes it became abundantly clear. Jo was obviously held in the grip of a bad dream and, if the sweat on her skin and the tangles in her hair were any indication, it had been going on for a while before it disturbed him.

"You can't do this," Jo was trying to move up the bed, but her head was pressed against the headboard, and she was becoming more and more agitated.

Steve was worried about the baby, he knew it was well protected, but she was almost in danger of falling out of the bed, and he leant over and placed a hand on each of her arms, wanting to pull her towards the middle of the mattress. "Honey, please, don't fight me, it's doing you no good, no good at all." The desperation in his voice was obvious to him, he felt totally helpless, and she was still trying to get away from him. Her legs were thrashing about, the covers almost totally kicked off, and suddenly her foot disappeared over the side of the bed, unbalancing her and causing Steve to hold her more tightly.

She screamed at him, her voice high and edged with hysteria and Steve closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the tears behind them as they threatened him.

"Jo, Honey, shhh, it's ok, Baby, it's me, it's Steve, you're safe here, it's alright." Somehow he knew that he was finally getting through, her demeanour, even in sleep had changed, and she was trying to calm herself. "Jo, open your eyes, Sweetie, please, for me, open your eyes."

Gradually, to his relief she began to do just that, and as she did so, Steve heard Michael's voice the other side of the bedroom door, and that of his son too.

"Sir, is there anything I can do to assist you or Madam?"

"Dad, is Mom alright?"

"Yes, Son, she just had a bad dream, Michael, no, we're fine, thank you."

He forgot them almost the instant he finished speaking, his attention reverting to his wife immediately. She was lying on the bed, her face ashen, and her breathing heavy. "Steve? Oh, God, Steve, help me, please, help me."

ooo

The dark blue sweat suit that Rae had pulled from her closet was at least warm, whether it would stay dry was another thing altogether. She grabbed a set of waterproofs from the coat cupboard in the hall on her way out, and was dismayed to find out how wet she had got in just the short distance from the house to the car.

The traffic should be light at least, which was more than could be said for the rain and Rae was sure it was coming down even heavier now. LA didn't get much rain each month, and she had a feeling that the entire thirty-day's worth was falling in one night.

Amanda's phone call hadn't told her very much, just that, even though it was out of her jurisdiction, she needed to come to Topanga State Park as quickly as she could. Rae had been very tempted to call Steve, at least that way she could have grabbed another however-long-it-took-to-get-there's worth of sleep, but Cheryl was her partner this week, and as she lived in a different part of the city, she was making her way to the park alone.

Rae cast her eyes towards the house of Texas and Steve as she passed it, all the lights were off, and she was glad that she hadn't had to interrupt her friend and partner. She knew he didn't like the enforced deskwork that being the senior detective sometimes required him to do, but at least he could enjoy the perk of having an uninterrupted night's sleep.

ooo

The beach was red, somehow blood and sand didn't mix very well and Dominic tried to wipe himself down without getting all the little grains on his shirt. Lucy had been almost too easy, wanting to find a secluded spot, encouraging him to kiss her tenderly, he had found her melting under his touch until the actual killing had happened, there had been no struggle until the last moment, no screaming except with passion, and the betrayal in her eyes had been almost non-existent.

Now though, she lay at his feet, her hair inviting him to play with it, to style it and ultimately to cut it. The blood was pooling on the surface of the sand and he knew that before he did anything else he would need to move her a little. He hadn't killed anyone on sand before, but he had imagined that it would have all just drained away.

The part of the beach that he was on had a set of steps just behind where he was standing and Dominic pulled at Lucy's shoulders, dragging her a little further up the sand so that he could sit on the cold, hard concrete as he looked at her now naked body. She had been beautiful, sensuous, but just the same as all the others, they all let him down in the end, would desert him, leave him to face life on his own again. Well, not this time, never again would he be the one left to suffer the pain, he would get in first.

The blood from her feet had left a trail across the sand so Dominic stood up and brushed some of the annoying little grains across it, he then double checked and made sure there was, as he had already guessed, no-one about. Finally, he took the scissors and combs he always kept with him out of his pocket and prepared himself for his next step.

ooo

The wipers on Rae's car were working on double speed and still her vision was blurred by the water on her windshield. She peered out of the glass watching the road signs and names hoping that she hadn't gotten herself lost. At last, after what seemed like forever, she saw the name of the park she was aiming for, and turned gratefully into a smaller road and made her way towards a mantle of trees.

Her headlights lit up the parking lot and Rae cast her eyes over the scene looking for any vehicles that she recognised. Not finding any she got out of her car, pulled up the hood on her waterproof top and, keeping a firm hold on her ID, she walked in what she hoped was the general direction of the lights.

"Rae." Amanda's voice came out of the gloom and then she was there, waiting to show her friend where the action was.

"Hi, I didn't see your car, I wondered if maybe I was in the wrong place."

"No, I came with Doctor Saperstein, he and I were having dinner, otherwise I wouldn't have been here, and I wouldn't have been able to help with what he's found." Amanda carefully moved back over to where her colleague was working. "Walter, this is Detective Reagan Yeager, LAPD, Rae, Walter Saperstein, who is the Chief ME for the West LA Precinct."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Sir, Amanda is being very mysterious, so can you tell me what you've found?"

"Yes, of course, Detective Yeager, if you would be so kind as to direct the flashlight this way." Walter handed the torch to Rae and waited as she did as she was bid.

"What exactly am I looking at?" Rae crouched down and played the beam of light over Walter's gloved hand as he pointed with what looked suspiciously like a chopstick towards a section of bone.

"This is the Calcaneus which is a Metatarsal, or sole bone. It is the one which is furthest away from the toes." Walter stopped talking and looked up to see Rae listening intently to every word he said.

"Ok, so you have a foot, the only reason I would be … oh my." Rae looked up, she suddenly knew why Amanda had called her, and she saw her friend nodding her head. "But this isn't a body, it's a set of bones, how can you tell that this is our Red Rose Killer? There isn't any way of telling that she was stabbed, or tortured is there?"

"Well sometimes there is, especially if the first thrust is made with such force as to break the tip of the blade off and leave it resting in a groove in the bone." Walter shook his head as he spoke, Amanda had been telling him a little of the case that she feared this body related to, and the unnecessary violence and suffering that had been caused shocked him.

"So we have victim number four, who was probably victim number one in the timeline, and no idea who she is. Great." Rae tried to stifle a yawn but wasn't very successful.

"I'm going to work here for a little longer, Detective Monroe who is the Detective in charge is over there if you would like to go and find out what information she has, as soon as I'm ready to move the body I'll let you know."

"Thank you, Doctor, I'll do just that, and sooner or later I'm gonna have to call our acting captain." Rae smiled at him once more, and then as she realised that there would be no more sleep for her tonight Rae made her way further into the trees where she could see a very wet and despondent young woman.

ooo

Jo had taken a long time to calm down, but Steve had let her take it at her own pace. She cried in his arms, her body shaking, and her tears wetting his skin and running down his chest. Gradually though she had looked up and smiled a half-hearted smile. "Thank you, Darlin', I'm so sorry that I disturbed you."

"Honey, any time, if you are having trouble sleeping, or if your dreams are upsetting you, disturb me all you want. I'm just sorry that you're having nightmares again." Steve nuzzled his face into her hair, the smell and silkiness of it easing his own pounding heart. "We've had a traumatic evening one way and another, I guess I should have realised that you might have a disturbed night and come to bed when you did."

His words brought back the terrible news she had found out that evening and she began to speak again. "Oh, Steve, that poor chil', however is she gonna survive in this world without being able to hear anythin'?" The tears were back and flooded her eyes, the discussion over dinner had been upsetting for all of them, and as she snuggled closer to her husband's body she relived the conversation.

_The table in the morning room had been set, immaculately as usual, and Steve, working the more regular hours of a police captain had arrived home with plenty of time to spare. Jo had been cataloguing a small box, from her home in Texas, in the library when he arrived, and she hadn't heard him until he had crept right up behind her._

_"Good evening, Madam, I understand dinner will be served in thirty minutes." She had let out a little scream and jumped out of her skin._

_"Oh, I just hate it when you do that … don't do that!" Jo had swung round in the dark brown leather reading chair and leapt to her feet._

_"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. What are you doing in here anyway? I thought this was just for visitors you don't like!" Steve finished his question with a long lingering kiss, and by the time they separated Jo had totally forgotten what he had asked her._

_"I … I … what?"__ She had slotted her arms underneath his and then clasped her hands behind his back, revelling in the feeling of his muscular chest beneath her cheek and the steady rhythmic beating of his heart._

_"Why are you in the library?"_

_"Oh, because the box I am lookin' at is full of books. I figured that I might as well catalogue them an' then put them straight onto the shelves."_

_"Find anything interesting yet?" Steve had moved closer to the desk that his wife had been working at and picked up the first book he came to. "'Austin, a History' Oh, fascinating, remind me it's here when I have insomnia next."_

_"Darlin', I'm sure I can find somethin' far more excitin' an' tirin' if you are havin' trouble sleepin'!" She had kissed him once more and then picked up the four books from her workstation and slotted them into a half empty shelf. "There, now I am all finished for the day, an' I can spend a nice relaxin' evenin' with my man." _

_"Where, who, did someone come in?" She had rewarded his sarcasm by sticking out her tongue, and then together they had gone into the living room where Daniel was sitting reading a rather battered copy of_ _The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane._

_"Hi, Honey, how's the readin' comin' along?" Jo had moved across and sat next to her son. "Daniel, you were on page fifty-six when I was in here last, an' now you are only on page fifty-eight, that's not a great deal of readin' now is it?"_

_"But, Mom!"__ Daniel had wailed and both Jo and Steve had laughed._

_"Son, I read this book at school, I'm betting Grandpa did too, so if I were you I would just get through it, you might even find that you enjoy it?" Steve had sat down as well and he scanned the page that Daniel was on._

_"And you did you like it? Or did Grandpa Mark have to watch over you and each page you read too?"_

_"I think we can let the boy off for a little while, at least until after dinner." Steve had stood up again, hoping to avoid the question._

_"See, Dad didn't like it, did you finish it?"_

_Steve had been saved from answering by a knock on the door and Jo had seen him breathe a sigh of relief. _

_"Madam, Sir, Master Daniel, dinner is served."_

Jo had been smiling, and Steve, not wanting to interrupt the happier thoughts she was obviously having had just held her close and enjoyed the feel of her next to him. Finally though, she had looked up and the sadness was still obvious in her eyes.

"You didn't answer my question, how is Anneya gonna survive in a world where any disability is indiscriminately discriminated against?"

"Honey, I don't know, but she has everyone that you do behind her, how can she fail?"

Jo knew that she couldn't argue against his logic, already she had seen that her pregnancy was a source of joy to so many people, and all of them had, either immediately they heard, or privately later, offered their support in any way it was needed.

"Come on, you can go to sleep right here, let's just move under the covers a little more, I like it when you are so close to me."

"Mmm, that sounds nice." The room descended back into silence and Jo made herself a little more comfortable on her husband's broad, firm chest. Once she had done so though, her mind began to return to scene at the dinner table earlier in the evening.

_"Honey, do you know how Rae an' Anneya got on this mornin'? I called her a coupla times, but I guess she was either still at the hospital, or that new captain of hers was workin' her mighty hard." Jo had smiled as she spoke, not realising how her world was going to crash any second._

_"Yeah, I know. Guys, Michael!" Steve had called out the name of the butler, and as Jo had known he would he was almost instantly at his employer's side._

_"Yes, Sir, was there something that you required?"_

_"No, no, I have … information that I need to tell all of you."_

_Jo had known then that whatever tests the little girl had been having hadn't gone well, and she found she was holding her breath as her husband began to speak, but it had been worse, far worse, that she could have imagined._

_"I can't remember the name of the test that Anneya had, but the results came back real quick. Honey, she's Deaf, profoundly Deaf."_

Jo tried to rub the tears away from her face before Steve realised that she was crying. There was no movement from him so she knew she had succeeded. There was nothing that she could do tonight, maybe nothing she could do for a while, but Jo was absolutely certain that sooner or later there would be things that could be done for that sweet child, and she would make sure that they happened.


	28. Exhaustive Enquiries

**Chapter 28 Exhaustive Enquiries**

The rain hadn't let up all night, and Rae could vouch for that having spent most of it getting soaked. Doctor Saperstein had been charming company though, and Rae had declined his offer to return to the car wanting to hear everything he said, not only because she knew it was relevant to her main case right now, but also because she was interested to see how a different pathologist worked.

Amanda had stood with her for a little while before the temptation to help became too strong and she had knelt down on the surprisingly dry ground around the body and taken directions so that she could assist her colleague.

Doctor Saperstein was, Rae found out as she shivered under the trees, extremely conscientious, and as the night made its way into morning the body still remained where it was on a bed of Oak and Sycamore leaves which had been shed from the trees slightly earlier in the year. The rain had disturbed the ground on the edges of the path that Rae had crossed to get to her vantage point and, as the area became lighter, she could see that the torrent which had been rushing down towards the parking lot had slowed to a trickle as the rain faded away with the darkness. Normally Rae would be checking the rivulets to look at what was being washed away, but although she cast a cursory eye over it she knew that any evidence here would have long been dispersed, either by the elements or the animals indigenous to this area of Los Angeles.

"Detective Yeager, I think that I'm ready to move the body now. I'll put a call through to my assistant at the lab and have the van sent over." Doctor Saperstein stood up, carefully eased his tightened muscles and then walked away from the crime scene before performing a few stretching exercises and coughing heartily.

"Walter, for a doctor you are a lousy patient, how long have you had that cough?"

"Amanda, I'm fine, however, I am slightly allergic to Scots pine needles, and I guess there must have been some in that area of the forest." He finished speaking just in time to sneeze three times, then he blew his nose on his hanky and looked a little embarrassed. "I apologise, allergies and rain don't work well together, not for me at any rate."

"It's no problem, but you will go home and get something warm to eat and drink and change into some dry clothes before you do the autopsy, won't you?" Rae was concerned to see the elderly doctor was shivering almost as much as she was.

"Yes, yes, my dear, I will, but only if you two ladies promise to do the same thing. Jem, you must be off duty by now, I assure you I won't be much longer."

The young detective moved over to where the other three people were standing and nodded her head. "Walter, I wasn't on duty, not that it ever seems to stop people calling me out. I am however, supposed to be at the station in, ooh, about thirty minutes, so I guess I'd better go make myself presentable and then see if I can't catch me a nap in the locker room." Jemimah turned and smiled at Rae and Amanda. "Doctor Bentley, Detective Yeager, it was a real pleasure to meet you both. I'm guessing that we'll be getting together again over this."

"Yeah, I would say so, it was a pleasure to meet you too, and it's Rae."

"Amanda; and I'll be in touch as well." Amanda turned to Walter as she finished speaking to Jemimah. "Walter, do you think that you could run me into town? Ron took the car, and I need to get home to my boys."

"There is no need; I can drop you home on my way." Rae cut into the conversation as it was obvious that this was the more acceptable plan and so, as soon as the coroner's wagon had taken the extremely fragile body out of the park, Rae and Amanda made their way to the parking lot, Rae started up her car, switched on the heater and drove back into the city.

ooo

Steve had been surprised to find that he had dropped off to sleep, but the alarm clock woke him at seven and he slowly came too letting the beeping noise go on longer than normal. Jo was still lying close to him, but she had moved during the night and her head was no longer on his shoulder, now she was stirring slightly, woken by the incessant ringing he had struggled to cease.

"Steve?" Jo snuggled closer to him as she gradually opened her eyes and smiled a sleepy smile. "Don't get up, not for a minute or two."

"Well, if you insist!" Steve found he had no difficulty doing as she said and he pulled her towards him and took her gently into his arms. "Honey, did you sleep alright in the end?" He was concerned, but relieved to see that she didn't look as if she had spent the rest of the night awake.

"Yeah, I had … uncomfortable dreams, but I don't really remember them now. I'm guessin' that my brain just took in too much information yesterday. Today I'll try to concentrate on just one or two hundred things at a time!"

Steve smiled at her and then kissed her lightly on the lips, Jo had other ideas, however, and slipping her fingers through his hair and then down towards his back she held him tight and refused to let go.

ooo

Rae had driven to Amanda's house, dropped her off and then made her way to Beverly Hills. She'd had a shower, changed into warm dry clothes, grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and then headed into the station. By the time that Steve walked into the squad room a little after nine she had called Miss Amy and told her that Eliana would be coming to school with her father, and that she hoped it would be the first time of many. That hadn't been the only job accomplished, she had worked constantly since she arrived and was almost finished with her report on the night's activities. The fact that the body had been found in a different jurisdiction was making everything far more long-winded than normal, but she was getting there.

So far she had written everything out in rough, going through it twice to make sure that she had left nothing out. Then she had typed it up on the computer, filed it there, sent a copy through to Jemimah Monroe, printed two out and left one on Steve's desk and was now going through the other Red Rose Killer files to try to find consistencies. The fact that they had no idea who the victim, if indeed she was a victim, actually was hindered her progress, but she knew in her heart that the Jane Doe was their fourth fatality.

"Hi, Rae, how are you this morning?" Steve's voice cut into her thoughts and comparisons and she looked up.

"I'm fine, thank you, how about you?"

Steve thought she looked tired, but she had said she was fine and he was happy to go along with that. "Good, I'm good."

"I need to speak to you though; we had another body turn up last night, which I think is Dominic's handiwork." Rae was about to continue talking when her phone began to ring and she leant over and picked up the receiver. "Detective Yeager … Yes, Sir … no, Sir, I haven't forgotten … now, Sir. …? No, I realise that … Yes, Sir, I'll be right along … Goodbye, Sir."

"You said 'Sir' five times so I guess that was the Chief." Steve smiled, he could see the tension and tiredness around Rae's eyes and he wanted to lighten the moment a little.

"Oh yeah, and I have to go see him, now, and tell him what we are doing on the Masters' case. I guess 'nothing' isn't gonna cut it." Rae was pulling files out of a tray on her desk as she spoke and looking through them quickly.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Rae raised her eyebrows at his remark and carried on with her preparation. "That would just about put the tin lid on it. He wouldn't talk to me with you in the room before, he's not about to start now. But you could put a call through to that hotel in Barbados while I get these files together, just to make sure that the party in question is still there."

"Yes, Ma'am, I'll get right on it." Steve was rewarded with Rae pulling a face and then sticking her tongue out at him. "I get no respect around here!" He laughed to himself as he made his way back into his office knowing that the details of the murder Rae had briefly mentioned would be on his desk.

ooo

Jo had spent a quiet morning cataloguing more books and reading through a box of letters in which she could decipher everything except the signature. In the end she decided not to let her frustration spoil the fascinating insight she was getting into her past. The nameless author was a close friend of one of the Walters ancestors called Elle who had obviously been a lady of means, she'd had an army of slaves and her butler had been called Charles, but Jo knew that all slaves lost their identities when they arrived in America so she was sure that had been forced upon him rather than chosen by him.

Elle had been promised to a man she had no feelings for. His name had been Robert Winchester. It appeared that Elle had given her heart to someone who was called James; her forbidden love was also known as JJ, his name being James Jardinero. Some of the letters which the un-named writer had sent to Elle had obviously been in reply to pleas for advice on what Elle should do about the two men in her life. One had caused Jo to laugh out loud as she read the suggestions that Elle had to deal with.

_My dear Elle,_ it said;

_As a lady of such high standing I am vexed at your indecision in this matter. Surely the reasoning of your dear father must take precedence over all other suggestions and opinions._

_Robert, I agree, is a handsome, undeniably brave, man, although as you say, he is regrettably devoid of any spark of humour. Married life however, is not designed for us to have fun, but to serve the interests of our husbands, provide them with children and to honor our parents. _

_I really do feel that it would be most wise if you forgot James, the sweet interlude you have spent with him will remain as memories, but your future and that of your family are in yours and Robert's hands now._

_I will write again soon, as I hope you will,_

Jo tried once again to see what the signature said, but as before she gave up. There was a photo of herself and Steve, both on horseback just in front of her on the desk in her office and she picked it up as she wondered what Steve would make of a marriage which was just for producing offspring, honouring their parents and not a lot else. As she looked at his wonderfully handsome face, flushed by the work-out they had just taken exercising their horses she again thanked her lucky stars that she had married such a caring and gentle man. She realised that Steve did indeed honour his parents, but he certainly didn't expect her to serve his interests and bear his children to the exclusion of all else. She ran her hands over her stomach, still flat, and she wished that it would suddenly balloon so that she could shout to the world that she was having a baby, that she and Steve were gonna be parents. The fear was still there, the nagging doubts about pre-eclampsia teased at her from the recesses of her mind, but this time there was something else, something that she had never imagined, and that was the pure unadulterated delight that she felt at carrying her husband's child. Once again she ran her hands across her flat belly, a wide smile on her face and she enjoyed the moment.

ooo

The journey to Chief Masters' office seemed to Rae to be far shorter when she was in trouble than at any other time. She had no sooner left the peace and safety of the squad room when the grim and officious looking door to the 'inner sanctum' came into view. In Rae's mind the door took on monumental proportions and she felt like a small child going to see the head teacher.

Rae liked and admired John Masters, but she knew from the tone of his telephone conversation that she was not going to be getting smiles and general conversation. He had assigned her to the case of his wife's murder, she had been given the role of lead detective, and so far she had produced, well, not very much. She stopped for a moment and pulled up her jeans and smoothed down the sweater she was wearing; all her clothes seemed too big for her at the moment, and she felt uncomfortable in them.

"Detective Yeager, you can go right on in." Margaret, the Chief's secretary, who had replaced Rae at the end of her one-month temporary assignment in the job just over a year ago, indicated with her hand, but made no other conversation and avoided eye contact. Rae tapped on the glass, listened for the barked instruction then, deciding not to let him intimidate her too much, and hoping she wouldn't yawn, she entered.

"Ah, Detective, please sit down." The use of her rank wasn't lost on Rae. The Chief almost always used her Christian name, and so she knew this wasn't a good start.

"Thank you, Sir." Rae put her folder down on the desk and then waited as her boss picked it up and read through it from cover to cover in total silence.

Finally after what seemed like hours he looked up, took his glasses off and began to speak. "Yes, well, there doesn't seem to be an awful lot more information here than I read through before. My son has paid his outstanding fines, his wife is a dentist and they are currently in the Caribbean. I expect more than this, Detective, much more. Have you interviewed him yet? No. Have you even checked on any alibi for the time that Elizabeth was killed? No. Have you any intention of doing either thing? It would appear that the answer to that too is no!" The voice of the man sitting in front of her had got louder and louder but Rae had been determined not to break gaze with him.

"With all due respect, Sir, there have been other things going on, which prevented me from doing my job to the best of my ability. Those things are now no longer as serious or life threatening as they were. I have this case and the Red Rose Killings which are receiving the majority of my time, along with the Night Owl burglaries which now seem to be taking place in my own neighbourhood, but, if you wish Lieutenant Sloan or myself to fly to Barbados to interview your son then we will do so. We felt that the adverse media comment that such action would cause was a very good reason to stay here in LA. Once they return we'll go to Santa Barbara and interview him there. I'm sorry if you feel that I haven't given this case my undivided attention, I still can't do that, but I will continue to work on it until you tell me otherwise." Rae had said far more than she had intended, and spoken far more intensely, her voice had risen but she had been unable to prevent it; realising that there was nothing more to be gained she folded her hands in her lap and sat quietly.

"Rae, I know that your daughter was dangerously ill, but even before that this case wasn't moving. I realise that you are trying to solve this without causing me any undue publicity or extra upset and I appreciate that, but, I … I need to know, one way or the other, whether I can contact my son as well as trying to come to terms with the death of my wife."

"Sir, Lieutenant Sloan called Barbados this morning and the family were still there; do you want us to go and interview at the hotel?" Rae desperately hoped that he would say no. As much as she could cope with a few days in the sun on a beautiful beach, she didn't think that she could cope with actually leaving the country to get it.

"No, Detective, no, you are correct, it will be better to wait until he comes back of his own accord. I will give you another week, which, if I remember rightly, was the amount of time I gave you the last time we spoke, by then I expect results or the credit card bill for two airline tickets. That is all."

Rae knew that she had been dismissed and so she nodded and got to her feet. "Very good, Sir, thank you, Sir." Rae left the room without John Masters looking at her and, feeling that she had probably gotten off lightly, she made her way back to the squad room, hoping that she could stay awake until the end of her shift.

ooo

Jesse had gained great pleasure from dropping his daughter off at pre-school and it was apparent to everyone who saw her that Eliana had too. Because Jesse was going straight into the hospital afterwards they had dropped Anneya off with Sally first. The little girl had waved happily to her daddy, but all the time he was conscious of a slightly puzzled look in her eyes, as if she couldn't understand what was different with her life, but knowing that something was. Sally had told Jesse that she would treat the child just as she had always done, the TV would come on for certain programmes, there would be the everyday noises that had always been there, even though they knew that Anneya couldn't hear them. But there would be subtle changes, the games that they played together wouldn't rely on sound for either enjoyment or results, Sally would make sure that every time she wanted a response from Anneya or wanted her to do something for her that she would be in her eye line, and gradually between them they would begin to introduce the basic words in sign language. Eliana knew that Sally and Anneya would come and get her from pre-school but that wasn't important to her right now, what was important was that her daddy was taking her to Miss Amy.

The short journey from Sally's house to the school had been filled with Eliana, her voice full of life and laughter, telling her daddy all the things he would see when they arrived. Jesse had been looking forward to taking his daughter and by the time he opened the door and watched her independently climb out he was almost as excited as she was. Once the car was locked Eliana took her daddy by the hand and pulled him across the parking lot towards a red painted door with a bell above it.

"Vere, vere, you wing v bell an' Miss Yena wi yanster it." Eliana was bouncing up and down now, her curls doing their own little dance.

"Can't we open the door and go in?" Jesse had been going to do just that until Eliana had spoken.

"No, Miss Amy says …" she paused for a moment as she tried to think why they couldn't go right on in, "it's dan … danger." Satisfied that she had it right she smiled a great big smile and with a laugh Jesse reached over and did as he was told.

The door opened just a minute or two later and the lady smiled down at the face that she recognised. "Good morning, Eliana, and how are you today?"

"I fine, fank yew, Miss Yena. Miss Yena, my daddy, vis my daddy." She pulled on his arm and Jesse and Miss 'Yena' both smiled.

"Hi, I'm Jesse Travis; I'm pleased to meet you."

"I'm Miss Helena; I think you had better both come in, although Eliana is a wonderful advertisement for happy schooling right now."

"Oh yeah, she is that. The happiest schoolgirl in LA." Jesse tousled his daughter's hair affectionately and once again she beamed at him.

"Vis my peg. I put my cayigan here." She unbuttoned her cardigan and carefully hung it on the little hook. "Ven I take my soos off an' wear my sips." Eliana did everything as she described it to her father, carefully pulling up her white socks before putting her feet into her slippers. The clothes that Eliana had on were her spare set he had picked up the previous day from Sally's and Jesse made a mental note to get a message to Rae so she could send another outfit with their daughters the next day.

There was a small full-length mirror on the wall just before the entrance to Miss Amy's classroom and Eliana stopped there and looked at herself. Satisfied that she was ready for a morning's work she turned to her daddy and smiled. "Miss Amy yives in here."

This time Jesse did laugh out loud, he'd thought his teachers lived at school too, and he remembered the surprise he'd felt when he saw his kindergarten teacher waiting in line at the grocery store one Friday evening.

Eliana pushed at the door and it swung easily open; Miss Amy's room, it seemed, didn't have a bell. A young woman dressed casually in blue jeans and a white polo shirt moved across towards them.

"Hi, I'm Miss Amy, you must be Eliana's daddy."

"Yes, I am, how did you know that?" Jesse knew that his brown-eyed daughter took after her mother, and was a little confused.

"The wonders of intercom, I always know who is coming before they get here, that way if someone arrives unannounced I know that the office doesn't know they're in the building. Of course, it doesn't always work, but this time, we were spot on." Miss Amy smiled and Jesse knew why his daughter was so smitten with her teacher. She may have been dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, but she was every small child's dream. She was kind, pleasant, her voice sang at you, and most importantly she had the ability to make you feel you were the most important person in the entire world.

Shaking his head mentally Jesse laughed. "In my job the intercom is more of a curse than a blessing."

"Here too, it's hard to pretend you didn't get a message when you speak to the person giving it to you, and I always feel so guilty if I ignore it when it beeps at me."

"Somehow my name is always called just as I am going off duty, or actually have a cup of coffee that I couldn't paint a wall with, or my … well, you get the picture." Jesse looked down as his daughter pulled at his arm.

"You go now, Yana go school, k?"

"Ok, Sweet Pea, I'll go to work, and Sally and Anneya will pick you up later. Honey, you have a great day, and I'll see you soon." Jesse bent down to give his daughter a hug and a kiss and then he watched as she ran over to a table containing lots of different books, which she rummaged through before choosing one and then, making herself comfortable on the brightly coloured rug which was placed close by, she began to 'read' it. With a final word to Miss Amy, Jesse left the room and went back down the hallway hoping that it wouldn't be too long before he got to bring Eliana to pre-school again.

ooo

Cheryl had been in the squad room by the time Rae got back from her visit with the Chief and to Rae's surprise Alex was sitting with her.

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I'm about to try and help one of your artists to get a likeness of the Red Rose Killer, at least I think that's what you called him isn't it?"

"You saw him, when did you have anything to do with this guy?" Rae was instantly concerned, she didn't like it when any of her friends became involved in her cases.

"I don't know for certain that I did, but I think I might have. Nadine told me she was going out with someone who picked her up at Bob's. There was a man who came in and was chatting her up the night she told me about. It could have been him." Alex knew that he had told Rae this before; she had broken the news of his friend's death, and it worried him that she didn't see to remember it.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry, I … I should have know that, shouldn't I?" Rae tried to shake the feeling of almost unbearable tiredness which kept threatening her.

"Honey, are you alright, you look real tired?" Alex had smiled when he first heard Rae's voice, but her appearance caused him to look at her with concern.

"I'm fine, I just need a good night's sleep, but the fates seem to be conspiring against that right now."

"I thought Jesse had the girls so that you got a full eight hours last night." Alex thought that Rae looked as if she hadn't slept in a week.

"Yeah, he did, but I got called out, like I said, it's a conspiracy." As Rae finished speaking her phone rang and she raised her eyes to the heavens before moving over and answering it.

"Detective Yeager … Hi, Amanda, I can come and do that now, are you going too…? Ok, I think that's better, I have a lot to get through today, I'll see you there … bye."

Rae took her jacket off the back of her chair and went back towards Cheryl's desk. "That was Amanda, the body that was found last night is on the table right now and apparently Doctor Saperstein has found some interesting things. I need to go over to his pathology lab, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Rae, I don't think …"

"Alex, drop it, ok?" Rae's voice told her friend that he had stepped over the line, and he nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too, I'll see you soon." Rae didn't wait for a reply but turned on her heel and left the room as Alex looked over at Cheryl who just shrugged her shoulders, knowing that tiredness went with the job.

ooo

Doctor Saperstein's pathology lab was a reflection of the man himself. It was a little old fashioned, spotlessly clean and even though it provided a sombre service it gave off an air of approachability and friendliness. A middle-aged secretary offered Rae a drink when she arrived, and Amanda was sitting there already, drinking a cup of wonderfully smelling coffee.

"Hi, this is nice, well, maybe the reason isn't nice, but I don't do this very often so I think it's nice." Amanda indicated with her hand that Rae should sit next to her.

"You know, I understand what you mean, I'm looking forward to going to see Jemimah and discussing this case at her station with her." Rae had just made herself comfortable when the door opened and Walter Saperstein came out. She ran her fingers through her hair and decided that it was probably just as well that he was prompt, the chair was comfy, and more than a few minutes sitting in it would have lulled her off to sleep.

"Ladies, how very nice to see you again so soon, won't you please come in?" Walter held the door open and Amanda and then Rae went into a room not unlike an operating theatre with one gurney in the middle of it. On the top were the skeletal remains that they had last seen during the torrential rain of the previous evening.

"I have to say that I hadn't planned to begin working on her quite so quickly, but she has fired my curiosity, and at my age precious little else gets fired … well, except me if I make remarks like that!" Walter blushed and hurriedly continued talking as both Rae and Amanda covered their grins with their hands.

"Detective Yeager, I don't wish to dumb things down and insult you, but if you don't understand what I'm saying please let me know."

"Thank you, I seem to spend a lot of time around hospitals one way and another but I'll stop you if you lose me." Rae smiled, tried to shrug off the feeling of exhaustion which was pressing down on her and took her notebook out of her pocket. If she was writing perhaps she would be a little more alert.

"You were right about one thing, our victim is definitely female. The pelvis is shallower and wider in women, and I would say, not definitely, but probably, that our victim has given birth, at least once, naturally."

"Which you would know because, if she'd had a caesarean you wouldn't know, right?" Rae looked up from the body as she spoke. "If we had found her before she decayed we would have known that too, wouldn't we?"

"Amanda, my dear, you have been giving this young lady lessons!" Walter beamed at both the women at once, and was gratified to hear them laugh.

"Doctor Saperstein, I'm married to a doctor. You may have heard Amanda mention him, Jesse Travis?"

"Of course, of course, I have met him, a very good doctor, and so friendly."

Rae smiled, she may be parted from her husband, but she still liked to hear him receive compliments. "I guess I should have said something."

"Not at all, but it is a pleasant change to have a police officer who doesn't either faint, throw up or look totally bemused the entire time I'm talking to them, and I have had them do all three! Now, you are correct on the details of the pelvic region, but that will only help us in confirming the sex, I think I can go further than that, I think I can help you identify your victim."

ooo

The ER department had been busy almost since the moment Jesse had arrived. Alex was coming in late because he was 'helping the police with their enquiries' and Mark was already working in Trauma one.

Doctor Wil Collins was just entering the second trauma suite when he saw Jesse and smiled at him. "Hi, Jess, there's a little girl with a broken arm, or suspected broken arm in Trauma three, a lady with a burnt hand out in the waiting area and a RTA with an ETA of five minutes."

"Oh, thank you so much! I'll do the little girl, get her sent off to x-ray and then the lady with the hand, do you think you'll be finished in five?"

"No, but I've called for reinforcements." Wil disappeared as he spoke and the doors flapped shut behind him.

Jesse hadn't stopped again for three and a half hours by which time he was so hungry he thought he would keel over. Before going to the cafeteria though he made his way up to the Audiology Department to get himself some information on living and working with Deaf children, so that he could begin to come to terms with what was happening to his youngest daughter.

Once he had all he needed, or could cope with for now, he headed for the food line and got himself a chicken salad, baked potato with coleslaw and a mug of coffee, then he looked around for a table to sit at and be unsociable. As luck would have it there was a vacant table by the window and so Jesse made himself comfortable there, his reading material and his lunch vying for position in front of him. He carefully propped up a book against the salt and pepper shakers and began to read the first page that had signs on it.

After eating a few mouthfuls Jesse put his cutlery down and began to try to spell out his daughter's name. A few minutes of total concentration later Jesse let his hands fall to the table. There was no way that Eliana and Anneya could deal with that, not yet at any rate, there had to be other ways of handling this. He looked through the pile of pamphlets that he had also picked up from Audiology and tried to think like a parent and not a doctor, something which, when his family was concerned he found surprisingly easy. He had no knowledge of American Sign Language, apart from the fact that some words were words, and others were letters. For a second Jesse felt totally overwhelmed by the task in front of him, and running his hands through his hair he tried to think of other things.

Mark had come into the cafeteria to get himself a snack and a cup of coffee that actually tasted something like it was supposed to. Once he had his doughnut and drink he looked around for someplace to sit and saw his young friend over by the window. With a big smiled he began to weave his way through the tables, but as he got closer he realised that he may not be welcome.

"Doctor Sloan, did you want a seat?" A young sounding voice made him turn slightly and deciding instantly he nodded and sat a little way behind Jesse, so that he could watch his friend and colleague, and maybe learn a little how to help him.

As he ate his doughnut Mark watched Jesse practicing sign language and his heart broke for him. He knew that it would be his natural reaction too, but he also knew that it was a premature action and he had to force himself not to move over and intervene. Mark then watched as the conflicts in Jesse's mind seemed to overwhelm him, and suddenly knowing that he could do far more good actually being with his friend than just watching him he moved across and softly said his name. "Jess."

ooo

Steve looked at his list of things to do which was still in the middle of his desk. It had gotten covered up a few times in the previous day and a half, but now it was visible once more. He had finally managed to send the updated details of the Red Rose Killings to all the major police departments in California from Palm Springs to San Francisco. The actual details had only gone out the day before, but he had wanted to get the new victim added onto the files before they began gathering dust in places that just maybe should actually look a little closer at them. As Steve made a line through the relating item on his list with a flourish his phone began to ring and he picked it up with a sigh. "Sloan here… yes, that's right." Steve quickly swapped the receiver to his right hand and began to take notes with his left.

ooo

Dominic had sailed through the second day of competition, but he knew that it would soon get harder. That suited him fine, there was no way he wanted to still be around on the final days of the contest, and he planned to fall by the wayside, quietly, the following afternoon. The ticket for entry to the hallowed ground of the hairdressing competition was tucked snugly in the rear pocket of his jeans as Dominic made his way into the lobby of his hotel. The receptionist saw him and indicated that she wished to speak with him.

"Hi, Mr Little?" The young lady waited as he nodded, "how did you get on?"

"Get on, I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean?" Dominic looked confused, which wasn't hard, he wasn't sure what the young lady meant."

"The hairdressing competition, my friend Lucy Ellis, the woman you had a drink with the other day, she told me you were in a hairdressing competition, I just wondered how you got on."

"I got on fine thanks, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you knew Miss Ellis." Dominic tried to be a little more formal than usual, in the hope that the woman wouldn't realise just how well he had got to know her friend.

"Didn't she tell you she works here? She is naughty; she likes to pretend she's a visitor when she's not on duty. She told me you and she were going out last night, I hope you had a good time."

"Yes, we did, we weren't together that long, but we had a pleasant time while we were." _Dammit she worked here!_ Dominic hadn't known that, but it didn't matter, if anything it was just a hiccup, and he could always go home a little earlier than planned.

ooo

Rae had been dumbfounded by Walter's statement and he knew it. "Maybe I should explain a little further what I have found."

"Um, yeah, I would say so, you know who she is? How can you possibly … Sorry." Rae's tiredness receded slightly as she reacted to the statement Walter Saperstein had just delivered.

"I don't know who she is, but I know that we can find out far easier than we all thought last night."

"Walter, don't tease, what have you found." Amanda could see that her friend was very tired, and not as even-tempered as she had been when she had arrived.

"I'm sorry, ok, first of all the tip of the blade which I said came off because of the force used?"

"Yes, I remember, that's what gave Amanda the clue that it was our guy." Rae nodded as she spoke, the interest sounding once again in her voice.

"Well, I would imagine from the evidence that he broke the tip off as he plunged the knife in for the first time, because there is a slightly roughened groove up the bones of both feet. Not all the way, obviously, because the bone structure wouldn't allow for that, but I would say, unless he stopped in the middle of the sole, each foot was slashed from heel to toe."

"And it would have to be heel to toe because otherwise the knife tip wouldn't have broken off, or if it did it would have gotten lost in-between the toes and then fallen to the ground when the body decayed." This time Rae looked over at Amanda and was gratified to see the look of approval in her eyes. She had worked it out as well, but it was her profession, Rae was a cop, but she listened to everything she was told, took it all in and had a thirst for knowledge that not all of her colleagues had.

"But that just tells us that we are probably on the right lines with our suspicions, I also have an almost complete set of teeth, which will help no end, and our lady had one leg longer than the other, enough that she would have a pronounced limp I would have thought." Walter couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, and he saw it reflected back from the two women in the room with him.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Doctor Saperstein, thank you so much. You're right, our search just got way easier." Rae was writing as she spoke, and Walter waited before replying.

"I will have the complete set of results by the end of the day, apart from DNA which will take longer, there are a few strands of hair on her head, and I know that Jemimah has sent her Crime Scene guys back into the forest today to go through the birds nests around that area, to see if they can find any more, but I'm not hopeful, it isn't really the right time of year for nests, but maybe in an abandoned one."

"That's true, and the weather hasn't been that bad of late, perhaps there will still be things to find. I guess I'd better give Jemimah a call myself and see if she wants me to go take another look." Rae glanced at her watch and realised that the morning had already slipped away and it was early afternoon. Her daughters would both be with Sally and Jesse would be at work; she fleetingly wondered how long it would be before she saw him again, but then she came back to the matter at hand.

"Walter, Amanda, I must get back to the station, I have another case that I'm getting pressure over and I really need to work on it this afternoon. Thank you so much for all of this, I look forward to getting the official file."

Walter smiled before he spoke. "It is my pleasure, my dear; I hope that we get to meet each other again before too long." The two new friends shook hands and then Rae made her way back out to where her car was parked, and her tiredness returned as she did so.

ooo

Steve had spent over an hour on the phone to San Francisco, and he felt his despondency rise as he got more proof that their murderer hadn't stuck to LA as he had hoped. A Detective Emile Consadine had spotted the flyer from the LAPD when it arrived the day before and knew he'd had three murders that fitted the same MO. He hadn't had time to check the details before his shift had ended, and then he'd been called out a couple of hours before speaking to Steve and hadn't had a chance to contact him. Part of Steve wished he had never called, in less than a day he had gained four more victims for his Red Rose Killer.

ooo

Jesse had returned to work after his chat with Mark with a slight spring in his step and a more realistic view of the difficult times to come with his daughter. Mark had gently pointed out that signing, whilst vital for her in the future, wasn't something to be dealt with right away; at least not the signing Jesse had been practicing. Mark had known the sign for hello, and thank you, and had shown them to his friend, impressing on him as he did so that they would be far more use than showing the little girl how to spell Anneya.

Jesse went up to the nurses' station to let the young lady on duty know where he was going. He had already picked up the pile of files which he needed for his rounds and so made his way along the hallway, he hadn't got very far when he heard his name being called and turned around to see Susan walking towards him.

"Doctor Travis, I wonder if I could have a word with you."

"Nurse Hilliard, I'm afraid now isn't the time, I am just about to start rounds, and unless I am mistaken you no longer work in the ER." Jesse kept his words cold and clinical. He still had the recollections of her harsh words as he left the movie theatre, and he didn't want her to think that he had either forgiven or forgotten.

"No, Doctor, that is true, but you have three of my patients on your rounds; I would accompany you if I may?"

Jesse felt too weary of the entire episode to argue. He had no intention of starting, or re-starting, a relationship with Susan, he knew that he had made it abundantly clear, and if she wanted to follow him around and be ignored then that was fine with him.

ooo

Rae had been horrified and dismayed to suddenly hear car horns behind her and realise that she had missed the green traffic signal because her eyes had finally won out and closed. She jolted herself awake and put her car into drive. Thankfully she was only two blocks from the precinct and she carefully and slowly drove the rest of the way not wanting to cause anymore danger to either herself or others.

She made her way sleepily up towards the squad room, staggering slightly on the stairs as she did so. Her tiredness was being replaced by something heavier, more total, but Rae knew that she had at least another three or four hours before she could even consider going home, and so she leant against the wall until the moment had passed and then carried on her journey.

Cheryl was on the phone as she entered and so she made her way to the kettle, wishing that she drank coffee, because a very black, very strong one wouldn't go amiss right now. Once again she had missed her lunch and so she grabbed another apple, this time from the top drawer of her desk, as she sat down.

"Rae, could you come in here a minute please?" Steve's voice floated across to her after one bite of her piece of fruit and with a deep sigh she got to her feet and walked the few yards, which seemed like miles, towards the captain's office. She never quite made it, as the doorway got just within her reach it seemed to buckle and bend in front of her before fading in and out of focus. Rae saw Steve's anxious face, heard her name being called, and then as her legs refused to carry her any longer she sank down into the welcome oblivion of darkness.


	29. Walking Towards the Light

**Chapter 29 Walking Towards the Light**

"Well, Mrs Whitlock, everything seems to be as it should, your leg is healing nicely, and I know that Doctor Sloan wants you to sweep him down the hallway in a quickstep before you leave." Jesse smiled at the old lady in the bed who was looking up at him and nodding intently. She laughed as he finished talking,

"Now, Doctor Travis, you are pulling my leg, but it'll have to be the good one, or my pretty nurse will be after you."

"Mrs Whitlock, didn't you know that all the nurses in this hospital are after Doctor Travis?" Susan joined in the gentle banter, checking the lady's pulse as she did so, and then picking up a comb off the nightstand. "Would you like me to come back in a little while and help make you beautiful for your son's visit?"

"More beautiful, Nurse, and I doubt that is possible." Jesse made a couple of notes on the chart he had in his hand and then checked his watch, "You know, don't tell anyone," he made a great show of looking around himself to make sure no one was watching, "but I have a break due in ten minutes and I may even get to take it. I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs Whitlock, Nurse." Jesse smiled at the two ladies in front of him and then turned and left the room; he had taken no more than five steps towards the elevator and his next patient when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Jesse, don't rush so, I had trouble keeping up with you." Susan smiled at him, and once again Jesse was struck by her beauty. He had done as he'd planned and not spoken to Susan at all for the first two patients he'd seen, but it wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge or be nasty to anyone, and by the time they had reached Mr. Billings, who had been one of Susan's patients, they were laughing and enjoying each other's company. Jesse was so glad to be back working a normal shift, doing his rounds and coping with life, that it was making him even more cheerful than usual.

"I meant what I said in there, I need coffee, ten minutes with my feet up and no interruptions, so I hope you can keep up with the whirlwind!" Jesse walked into the elevator as he spoke, and the doors closed behind them as Susan joined him.

ooo

"Rae, Rae, can you hear me?" Steve's voice began to probe at the corners of her mind, but she didn't want to take any notice of them. She felt suddenly very ill, a little shivery, but most of all she just felt weird.

"Steve?" Her voice sounded weak and distant even to her own ears, and she struggled to open her eyes as she tried to sit up. _Sit up, where was she?_

"Rae, stay there, I'll help you." She felt his strong, firm hands carefully go around her and then she was gently moved so that she was leaning against something, _or_ _someone_, she suspected, hazily, that it was Steve she was leaning against. "There, how do you feel now?"

"Steve, I called 911, they'll be about five minutes." Cheryl's voice was full of concern but Rae was horrified.

"No, Steve … I'm … I'm ok, I have so much to do." She tried to get up, but as she got to her knees the feelings of lightheadedness, as well as the beginnings of nausea, returned with a vengeance and she slumped back against her partner. "No … no."

"Oh, yes, I'm not having you in this squad room a minute longer today, Detective. You passed out, which means a trip to the Emergency Room and no arguing, I'm a doctor's son, remember?" Steve tried to be stern but he was really just very concerned; Rae had had so much to deal with lately, he guessed that it wasn't surprising that she had finally hit a brick wall. "Honey, can you stand up? If you can I'll move you to my office, which will be more private for you." Steve carefully put his arm around her again and began to help her into a standing position. She swayed once more and, not wanting her on show any longer than was necessary, he made the instant decision to pick her up and carry her to the row of soft chairs in his room. His other hand went under her legs and in one movement she was up in his arms, and he was worried all over again as he realized how light she was to carry.

"Ohh." Rae's only reaction was to moan as her feet left the floor, but she felt suddenly safe in his arms, even if she didn't have the energy to tell him so.

ooo

Matthew had been scared, too scared to really think straight. He'd tried to assert himself, tried to come to the surface, so that he could check out of the hotel immediately after Dominic had finished talking to the receptionist in the lobby. He had succeeded in dominating for long enough to pack his bag but Dominic had re-emerged and unpacked it again. Matthew knew rationally that he was over-reacting; Dominic was, after all, just a guy who'd had a drink with a woman who managed to get herself killed. _A woman who worked at the hotel and managed to get herself killed._ He'd sent her a mineral water, knowing full well that the waiter would remember which was probably why Dominic had done it that way, the thrill of the chase, the chance to outwit those he thought less intelligent than he. Matthew realized with a feeling of horror that the entire thing was just a game to Dominic, that the reason they'd started this had been forgotten, not by him, but definitely by Dominic, and he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that things were going to get a lot worse before they got better again.

ooo

"Doctor Martin to the ER STAT, Doctor Alex Martin to the ER STAT." The voice of the young woman on duty at the nurses' station penetrated Alex's concentration and he let out a deep sigh. He'd just installed a new financial package on his computer at the beach house and he was trying his hardest to understand what it all meant. He put the booklet into his back pocket and broke into a run as he heard his name being called again.

"Doctor Martin, the paramedic called ahead, he said to tell you that it's Detective Yeager on the ambulance coming in."

Alex felt his heart sink, Rae had managed to keep herself out of the hospital for a while but it appeared that was about to change. He heard the wheels of a gurney as it came along the hallway and then round the corner into the ER and he saw his friend laying, eyes closed and unresponsive before him.

"Ok, what've you got?"

"The patient is a thirty-nine-year-old female. Detective … Oh, sorry, I guess you know that." The medic looked up at Alex and down at Rae and then carried on. "She passed out at work; she came round, but complained of dizziness and nausea. To be honest, Doctor Martin, I think she's asleep."

Alex felt a great deal of relief mingle in with his concern and he indicated that Rae should be taken into trauma one. As he did so he saw Mark walking towards him and waved him over. "Mark, d'you know where Jesse is? Rae was just brought in, it doesn't look too serious, but he should know, shouldn't he?"

"Yes, yes he should, um…" Mark thought for a moment and then looked over at the young nurse. "Is Doctor Travis still on rounds?"

"Yes, Doctor, and he told me that he was planning to take his break right after. Would you like me to have him paged?"

"No, I'll go find him, thank you." Mark wasn't sure what his friend's reaction would be if he came rushing to the ER and found that it was because Rae had been brought in and he knew that telling him face to face would definitely be better.

Alex watched Mark leave and then moved into the trauma suite. Rae was lying just as she had been, but she was now awake, her skin was paler than usual and, as he had seen earlier in the day, she looked awful.

"Don't say anything; you were right, I was wrong, now please can I go home?" Rae went to sit up and Alex moved closer to her.

"Oh, no you don't, you passed out, for no apparent reason, and I want to know why. So, I will start by taking your vital signs, while you tell me what happened?"

For a moment Rae said nothing, the heavy weight of tiredness that she had been carrying for far too long was still with her, and the temptation to just close her eyes and fade away was enormous. In the end though she knew that Alex wouldn't let her do that, not yet at any rate, and so she began to speak. "You saw me leave, right? How did that go by the way, did you get a picture drawn up?" Rae knew that it was a long shot that Alex had even seen the guy, but Nadine had to have been spotted someplace, and Bob's seemed logical. She had talked about dating a guy she'd served and long shots were all they had right now. Alex though wasn't going to be diverted.

"Yes, I saw you leave, and none of your business, you're on my turf now, Detective!" Alex smiled, and Rae felt herself blush, and to her horror tears rushed to her eyes. "Hey, it's ok." Alex's voice was soft and kind, which made her feel even worse and she rubbed the tears off her cheeks as quickly as she could, took a deep breath and carried on talking.

"I went and saw the autopsy. I got a lot of information from it and wanted to get straight back to write it up. I felt a bit dizzy on the stairs, and I'd …" She trailed off, embarrassed by what she had to admit.

"And you'd what?" Alex had made a note of her blood pressure, which was, unsurprisingly, low, her temperature was raised, but pulse rate was ok.

"I fell asleep at the wheel."

"Rae!" Alex's voice told her what she'd known already, that he was scandalized by what she said. "Did you have an accident? Is that why you passed out?"

Rae moved slightly so that she could sit up and put her hand over his, "No, I didn't, I was stopped at some lights, and I guess I just dozed off … I'm sorry." Rae felt the tears threaten her again and she looked away from her friend for a moment as she tried to compose herself.

"I drove the rest of the way to the station, I felt kind of dizzy on the stairs again, but it passed off, and I got myself a drink and grabbed an apple. I was starting to eat it when Steve called me; I guess I passed out just after that."

Alex could see Steve's broad outline through the window of the trauma suite and he smiled. "He's waiting outside, I'll go see him in a minute. Rae, I need to ask you some questions, take your time and I'll try not to tire you too much more than you are already, ok?"

"Yeah, ok." Rae scrubbed away the last of the tears from her eyes and took a breath in; she hoped the questions weren't going to be too hard.

"First of all, from what I've seen so far I think you're suffering from exhaustion, or fatigue, so the questions are gonna be related to that diagnosis." He watched her nod her head and began. "When you go to sleep do you sleep well, or is it disturbed?"

"Alex, I can't remember the last uninterrupted night's sleep I had. I was in the hospital with Anneya for over two weeks, she hasn't slept properly since we got home, and last night I had to spend the night in the pouring rain while a body was recovered." Her voice had edged up in volume as she spoke and she lowered it suddenly as she finished talking.

"And when you do get a good night's sleep do you sleep for a couple of hours, or more like seven or eight?" Alex didn't respond to her outburst, but carried on writing notes and talking.

"I sleep all I can get, when I'm tired, if the girls are already asleep I would go to bed too, but it just hasn't worked out like that for a long time." Rae tried to resist the temptation to yawn, but already she was wishing she was asleep again.

"When you wake up in the morning do you feel rested?"

"No, not at the moment."

"Rae, it's currently that I want to know about, but from the way you are speaking this has all changed recently, yes?"

"Yes, Alex, it has all changed recently! Just like my life has. My husband left me, my daughter ended up in ICU and then was found to be profoundly Deaf, or don't any of those things count as change?" Rae felt her temper suddenly well up within her, and she launched at her friend.

"Rae, I'm sorry, that wasn't a very tactful way of putting things." Alex made a couple of unnecessary notes on her chart to cover his embarrassment and then he continued with his exam.

"Ok, we'll skip the questions on stress, I think you've answered those, what about diet? Can you get up so I can weigh you?"

Rae nodded, she knew she shouldn't have shouted but she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Carefully she swung her legs off the gurney, placed her feet on the floor and waited for the world to catch her up. Alex cautiously moved her over to where there was a scale attached to the wall and she stepped on to it.

"Rae, Honey, no wonder you look thin to me, you only weigh 95 pounds, and last time I did your physical you were 112. So I guess your diet is mussed up too."

"Yeah, I guess it is. Alex, my whole life is messed up; everything is connected to everything else … could I lay back down do you think?" She was beginning to feel light headed again, but Rae didn't want to say too much. Alex watched as she moved slowly and a little bit shakily back to the gurney and made herself comfortable once more; he could see how tired she was but if he could get through his questions then he would be able to send her home to get the sleep she so desperately needed.

"Right, I have a list of symptoms I want to run through, you just need to say yes or no and then … Rae?" She had lost all the colour in her face once again after the recent exertion and flopped back onto the pillows. "That's it, I'm gonna keep you here tonight, I'll go tell Steve, then I'll sort out the paperwork, I think I'll ask you all these questions in a private room."

Rae didn't have the energy or inclination to argue, so she just nodded her head, closed her eyes and waited for the world to go away.

ooo

Mark had taken a list of Jesse's patients and begun at the end of his rounds hoping to catch him somewhere in the middle. Jesse though must have been on hyper-speed because the last person Jesse had to see, Mr. Middlemass, informed him that the young doctor had been to him a little over ten minutes before and he was glad he'd passed the message on that he needed to speak with the elder doctor. Mark had apologized but said that he needed to see his colleague as a matter of some urgency and would return, and then, remembering what the nurse had said, Mark made his way to the cafeteria where he was dismayed to see Jesse sitting with Susan sharing a coffee and obviously enjoying each other's company.

"Susan, how are you? I hope you will excuse me, but, Jesse, I need to speak with you."

"Sure, Mark, is it about Mr. Middlemass? He was asking for you." Jesse indicated for his friend to sit down and then picked up the top folder from the pile.

"No, Jesse, it's not, Susan, would you excuse us please?" Mark looked at the young nurse as he repeated his request; he'd liked her very much until she had left Jesse high and dry and hurt him deeply. At the time he had wondered whether Jesse would ever quite get over her, but then Rae had come into his life, and Mark had to admit he'd stopped thinking about his friend's previous love.

"Mark, if it's not about a patient, what is it? Is it Anneya?" Jesse stood, panic welling up inside him, Susan and their pleasant conversation was forgotten, the files on the seat beside him meant nothing at this moment, and he clutched the edge of the table as he waited for an answer.

"No, no, it's not, she's fine, it's Rae, she's with Alex."

"Oh, well, then." Susan blurted out her words and Mark glared at her.

"Nurse Hilliard, I believe it is time for you to return to duty."

"Yes, Doctor." She lowered her head as she spoke, but then looked Jesse right in the eye. "I'll speak to you later." As she heard Mark clear his throat, she stood up, turned and left the cafeteria.

"Mark, do you know why she's here?"

"No not really, Alex just said that it wasn't too serious, but she was bought in by ambulance."

"Mark, I have to go see her, can … can you cover my shift for a while, please?"

"Of course, and, Jesse, I'm glad you want to do this."

Mark stood and watched as Jesse nodded his head, turned and left the cafeteria at a run, he then picked up all the folders left on the seat and made his way back to see Mr. Middlemass.

ooo

Jo had spent a long time reading the letters and cataloguing them, but a little after four in the afternoon she'd suddenly needed to go out into the garden, to get some fresh air and space around her.

"Madam, are you alright?" Michael saw his employer as she made her way across the hallway towards the morning room.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just need some air." Jo felt herself suddenly get annoyed at what her butler was saying, she wanted to snap back at him that if she wasn't fine she'd tell him, and to stop fussing, but she managed to bite her tongue and, as she made her way through to the yard, she picked up the pregnancy book she'd left on the table that morning.

Ten minutes later, when Jo had decided that both the need for air and her snappiness could be put down to hormones, Michael came outside with the phone in his hand. "Madam, it is Mr. Gillingham … Vice Principal at Master Daniel's school." Michael supplied the extra information as he realised that Jo had no idea who the person on the other end of the line actually was.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Gillin'ham, is Daniel all right, he hasn't arrived home yet, I'm afraid, but he had soccer practice tonight."

"Yes, Mrs Sloan, I am aware of that, your son is still here because I am afraid that his behaviour today has been less than acceptable for this school, or any other I would imagine." Mr. Gillingham's voice was quite loud and Jo moved the receiver a little way from her ear.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gillin'ham, I don't understand what you mean. Daniel is never in trouble at school."

"No, I realize that, Mrs Sloan, which is why I am calling you rather than handing down an internal suspension."

"Suspension, whatever did he do?" Jo was horrified, and knew that her voice told the Vice-Principal that.

"I would rather not discuss this over the phone; do you think that you could accompany your son to school in the morning? I have arranged an eight-fifteen appointment for you to see me. Daniel informs me that his father may not be able to attend."

"No, not because he doesn't want to, you understand, but because of his job." Jo paused; she didn't want Mr. Gillingham, or anyone else for that matter, thinking that Steve didn't care about his son.

"Yes, I quite understand, he explained that as well. I will send your son home to you now, Mrs Sloan, and I will speak with you again in the morning, good day to you."

"Good day." Jo looked at the now dead phone in her hand; Daniel hadn't been in trouble since changing schools just after she had got away from Werner. She knew it wasn't a huge amount of time, but he'd worked hard, his grades had risen, and he had seemed to be enjoying his schooling again, now though she was full of doubts once more. "Michael, could you come here a moment please?" Jo didn't have to wait very long before her trusty friend and servant came out to join her.

"Yes, Madam?"

Jo knew that however much he wanted to know about Daniel, Michael would not ask.

"Could you drive over to Beverly Hills High an' pick up Daniel? Call him on his cell an' tell him to wait for you just outside the main gates."

"Of course, Madam, I will leave immediately."

"Thank you an', Michael, I don't know what's happened yet, but he's not had a good day."

"Very good, Madam, I will remember that." The Englishman returned to the house, picked up the keys to the family car and then left while Jo sat on the patio and wondered what kind of evening they would have.

ooo

Jesse had only run halfway up the hallway when he heard his name being called.

"Jesse."

He turned, not wanting to stop, but unable to ignore the shout either, and saw Susan standing just off to his left. "Susan, you know I'm in a hurry, what is it?"

"I want to know why you are going to see her when you should be with me." She stepped in front of Jesse, effectively blocking his path to where he needed to go.

"Susan, stop it, it's over, this time round it never started, she is my wife … and I love her." Jesse tried to sidestep the woman, but she countered his every move, until finally in his desperation to get where he was going he pushed her out of the way.

"I told you, Jesse, we were meant to be together, and we will be, I know that, I made a mistake but I love you, and you love me, we will be a couple again … we will." Susan had bumped into the wall as Jesse forced his way past her; she wasn't hurt, but her anger and desperation were both stronger as a result of his actions. Jesse though was unaware of that as he entered the nearest elevator and made his way to the ER.

ooo

Alex had made the arrangements for Rae to be admitted and was just completing the paperwork needed for bloods and urine samples to be taken when he heard voices out in the hall, voices that he recognized. Glancing over at his patient he was relieved to see that the colour was returning to her cheeks, although she was still way to pale for his liking. He decided to give his two friends in the hallway a few minutes before going out to see them himself.

"Steve, do you know how she is?" Jesse was frantic with worry now. He knew that Mark had told him that Rae wasn't injured, that he didn't think it was serious but that meant nothing to him, he needed to see for himself that she was ok.

"No, I don't, she passed out at the station, and seemed to have trouble coming round. I got Cheryl to call 911 and I followed her, Alex has been with her ever since we arrived, but somehow there isn't the urgency that I usually see when Rae is brought in." Steve smiled; it was an enormous relief to him that he was having this conversation with his friend, not because Rae was ill, but because Jesse wanted to know about it. As he was about to speak again he saw Alex coming out of the door to trauma one and indicated to Jesse that news was on its way.

"Alex, is she ok?" Jesse was rubbing his hands against each other, wanting to be doing something, to be moving, to be helping, to be with her.

"I think she's just plain exhausted, Jesse, but I'm gonna keep her here overnight so that I can run some tests, I need to talk with her too, and right now she just doesn't have the strength to hold a conversation." Alex paused for a moment in case Jesse wanted to say anything, but when he nodded the younger doctor carried on talking. "Steve, I'm gonna have to sign her off for the rest of the week, otherwise she'll make herself really ill. If she gets enough sleep over the next three or four days then I think she'll be fine to return on Monday."

"Ok, Alex, no problem, thanks." Steve knew that it was a problem, a huge one; the Chief would probably go ballistic when he heard that Rae was off again, the Red Rose Killings had just grown out of all proportion and he was on desk duty until Monday himself. He knew that Rae would know all of that, would realize better than most what her enforced absence would mean, but there was no way he would let her come back a minute earlier than Alex said.

"Alex, can … can I go and see her?" Jesse was suddenly very unsure of himself, what if she didn't want him anywhere near her? He could understand it, he didn't think he could cope with it, but he'd understand.

"Jesse, can you wait ten minutes? I'm about to get her moved to her room, go grab yourself a cup of coffee and then I'll let you know where she is, ok?" Alex had guided his friend over so that he could see Rae through the glass as he spoke. "By the look of things she is fast asleep anyway, so a few minutes more won't make that much difference."

Jesse had nodded, but he had waited outside the trauma suite so that he could watch her as she was wheeled away.

ooo

Chief Masters looked at the handwritten note on the blotter of his desk and shook his head, he didn't know what had made him even think of it, let alone write it, but he felt better for having done so. A letter to a son he didn't know, may never know, but to whom he felt an unexplainable link.

The black and white picture on his desk of two small children hadn't been there very long, he'd never felt able to have it there, because to look at it was to know that he'd killed his children, but when Elizabeth came back into his life they had talked, over and over, night after night, about what had happened, and gradually he had begun to realize that the pain he'd been carrying with him every day since that awful afternoon was doing no-one, least of all him, any good.

He had searched out the picture that he knew he'd kept and first of all it had sat, face down, on his desk at home. He'd lift it up and look at it periodically, until one day he had found an antique frame in a little store on a visit to New York and he'd finally been able to bring himself to look at their small innocent faces each day. His daughter had only been two days old when the picture was taken, her big brother sitting proudly with her on his lap, there were no other photos, there had been no sense of urgency, no sense of foreboding, just a feeling of satisfaction at the completion of his family, but in one horrific action that had been wiped away and it had taken him half a life time to begin to accept it, and maybe move on.

But losing Elizabeth was almost worse than what they'd gone through in 1967, then at least they had been together, unable to rebuild their shattered lives, but each understanding the feelings of the other, this time though he was alone, the one person that he could maybe share his memories with was the prime suspect in a murder, but he was also his son, a son he didn't know he had, and he was sunning himself in Barbados.

With a quickness of movement that would have surprised even those who thought they knew him best John Masters stood up, moved across to where his jacket was neatly hung on a coat hanger and removed his wallet, he took his credit card out of that and then logged on to the Internet intending to be on the first flight he could find in the morning to view his son from afar, knowing that what he was doing was crazy at best and totally wrong at worst, but also knowing that he had to see the familial stranger, had to see how he lived his life before those officers under his command took it away from him forever.

ooo

Jesse stood just inside the door to Rae's room and tried to evaluate how he felt. There was no doubt that Rae still had the ability to make him feel panic stricken, that if he let his thoughts run away with him he would be unable to do what he knew he had to, not only because Rae needed him, but because he needed her too.

Jesse sat down in the chair next to the bed and looked at his wife's face. He didn't know if she was awake or asleep, but he suspected the latter. He hadn't tried to be quiet, hadn't purposely tip toed in or made no sound, but he knew that she had no idea that he was with her, and that gave him the courage to stay where he was.

For a minute he sat, totally still, and watched her as she slept, he was now sure, by the rhythm of her breathing, that Rae was fast asleep. He'd never intended to mislead her, he had accused her unfairly but only because he'd been too scared to admit to her the true reasons for his decision to leave.

Part of it he had told her, when he was at his most scared he did wish she hadn't come, hadn't invaded his life and taken it over as surely as if she was a lethal virus, but there was more to it than that, and he knew it. His family and his friends were the most important things in the world to Jesse, and twice he'd been warned to keep quiet about what was happening to him or bad things would hurt those he kept closest to his heart.

The first time he'd only had Mark, Steve and Amanda to think about, and he'd kept his word, told them only the barest details about when he'd been spirited away and led to believe that aliens were responsible, life had been good after that, sure it had been dangerous, but when things happened he'd never felt that it was his fault, it had always been due to circumstances that none of them could control, and then Rae had come into his life.

He'd loved her from the first time they'd gone out together. The afternoon they had spent on the beach had been the first of many happy times but then Rae had attracted the attention of a stalker, a crazy man who had almost killed them both. The second time that he targeted Rae; Jesse had made the mistake of telling her about when he'd been kidnapped and dumped in Utah. He knew he shouldn't have done it, should have kept quiet, but he hadn't been able to and all the bad things had started again.

They had survived, barely, and although he had felt the stirrings of something in the back of his mind he'd never let the fears come to the surface. And then Werner had happened, the cop had known things that there was no way he could have unless all that had taken place before had been true, that he really had been taken by aliens, had been one of the last hopes for their planet. Jesse shook his head and put it in his hands. Even to his muddled brain that sounded crazy, but there was no other way around it, was there? But Werner was a cop, all he had to do was access police files and he would know things that had been reported. That was where he got his information.

He closed his eyes and tried to get his thoughts into some sort of order, and as he did so he began to realize something else, something that he should have known from the start, and as he thought it through his heart began to lighten but he also began to get angry, angry at himself, and what he had missed.

Jesse knew that he had done what he thought was best for everyone that he cared for; he'd stayed away from them. He'd kept his distance from everything that meant the most to him and let the thoughts that frightened him take charge and still things kept happening.

He'd never stopped loving Rae, but she had reminded him of what had been, how he'd let Jo be kidnapped, mutilated and attacked, he may have been able to cope with that if she'd been angry but the love he remembered seeing in her eyes when she found him, and the way he'd been even weaker then than before, had just collapsed and let her take all the strain of rescuing him, of having a gun put to the back of her head, and then a dead man fall on her all those things came to the surface when he looked at her. Every time he saw her the bad memories came flooding back, but now he knew that it wasn't because he'd told her something that had happened way before he even knew she existed, nor was it because she attracted trouble and took everyone along with her, it was because if it was him who was the one in trouble then she would always be there for him. She loved him, good and bad together, and so the memories were that way too.

Jesse felt weak from the realization, finally, that what had happened was a natural reaction to a set of terrible situations, and he knew that even though he wouldn't be able to banish the bad thoughts and feelings right away, he had begun to do so.


	30. Visiting the Past

Chapter 30 Visiting the Past 

Daniel rode in total silence for the entire journey from Beverly Hills High School back to his house. Michael had checked to make sure that the boy wasn't hurt or too upset before he began the short trip home, and once he had satisfied himself that things were, if not fine, at least ok he'd concentrated on his driving.

Jo had been waiting for her son just inside the entranceway, she had no idea what had suddenly made the boy get himself into so much trouble that he would be spending the following day in in-school suspension but she intended to find out.

Hearing the sound of the car drawing into the driveway she rushed over and opened the front door, wanting to make sure for herself that Daniel was ok. She'd called Steve to tell him what the Vice Principal had said and he'd told her about Rae. She had a feeling that any information she wanted to get out of her son had better be done pretty quickly because her husband would be bringing Eliana and Anneya home to stay the night.

It was quite obvious, however, that Daniel had no intention of talking about anything, let alone what had happened at school, for the first time since she had come home from the hospital he pushed past her, dropped his school bag in the hallway and made straight for the stairs.

"Daniel, just hold on a minute." Jo reached out to touch him but he shrugged her off.

"Mom, just leave it ok?" Daniel felt her hand on his arm, but he didn't want to talk, he just wanted to go to his room, close the door, put on some loud, unintelligible music and forget the rotten day he'd had.

"Honey, I just want to know what went wrong today. You know I'll help if I can, an' your daddy too." She heard her voice waiver and wasn't sure what to do next. Daniel had been in trouble before, she and Steve had dealt with it, but by the time it escalated into the incident which resulted in him changing schools she had been kidnapped and Steve had dealt with that too.

Daniel didn't answer, he'd moved away from her and now he completed his journey up the stairs. Jo and Michael heard his door click shut and then for a brief moment, before he plugged in his headphones, loud music filled the air.

Daniel sat at his desk and looked around his room; it was the first proper place he'd ever had to call his own. Sure he'd had a room when he lived with his birth mom and dad but he'd shared it with all the stuff, which wouldn't fit anywhere else in the house. There had been storage boxes full of newspapers, two old dog beds, and all sorts of junk he couldn't even remember any more. When he'd come out of juvie the foster homes he'd been in had provided him with a bed but that was about all. He'd never felt a part of the families he'd been with, until now, but ever since he'd left the courthouse, officially a Sloan, something had been eating away at him, and today he'd snapped. There had been no need to answer Ms Burns back, but he'd done it anyway, and he knew he was going to get punished, not just by the school but by his dad too.

ooo

The room was silent and dark; Jesse had been sitting watching Rae sleep for almost five hours. Steve had visited for a short period to see if Jesse was planning on staying, and offered to have the girls overnight. With no need to go home Jesse found that he wanted to be no place other than where he was. While the room had still been light he had found a tablet of paper and a pen and written down his thoughts and feelings. He knew that what was happening to him was important and he wanted to be able to share it with Lauren when he had his next counseling session.

Now though, with a dark sky outside the window, even though it was lit up by the lights of the city, he was unable to see to write any longer and so he sat, not really doing or thinking about anything very much, and waited.

The nursing staff had been instructed by Alex to come and check on his patient periodically, but under no circumstances to wake her. The IV's, which she was hooked up to, apart from giving her some nutrients, contained a mild sedative. Alex had explained to Jesse that he wanted her to have an undisturbed night's sleep, and as they both knew that she didn't dream intrusive dreams when she was sedated Jesse had agreed wholeheartedly with his treatment.

A new nurse came in to check the readings and IV bags and Jesse stood up and moved out of the way. He knew the young lady by sight, although he wasn't sure of her name. She had come on duty only about ten minutes beforehand and looked far more perky and awake than Jesse felt.

Once she had taken her readings and replaced one of the clear bags on the IV stand, the nurse moved across to where Jesse was standing. "Doctor Travis," her voice came out as a whisper, "can I get you anything to eat, or a coffee maybe?"

"Yeah, a coffee would be good, thank you." Jesse smiled, realizing suddenly just how thirsty he was and as he watched the young woman leave the room he hoped she would hurry back.

ooo

Dominic had made himself comfortable on a bench just off a pathway in The Presido and he was remembering. It had been two years since he'd left San Francisco, but this place had remained in his memory ever since. Tanisha had been beautiful, but then all the girls he dated were that way. Their day had been spent in and around The Presidio either on the beach or the grass just across the walkway from the sand and then later a few feet from where he now sat. There had been, he remembered, a hot dog vendor to the right of where they had laid out the picnic that he'd made before they went into the forested area. As the meal had been just salad and hard-boiled eggs, because Tanisha had been a vegetarian, and he hadn't known what else to prepare, he'd sneaked off to buy a chilidog while she had slept after lunch.

_"Dominic, if you wanted meat you only had to say, I can't dictate what you eat, and I really appreciate the meal you brought with you."_

_"It was no problem, I just don't find it fills me up, but I'm ok now. If you move over a little bit I can lie with you." Her hair was fanned out across the blanket and he had begun playing with it, running his fingers through it and then letting it fall, enjoying the sensation, as he always did, of the feeling of someone else's hair across his skin._

They had spent another couple of hours on the grass, lying together, talking, about themselves, their families, things that Dominic could only tell certain people, people who would never live to repeat them.

A little after four in the afternoon they had wandered, hand in hand, into the centre of The Presidio, away from the popular trails and bike routes stopping here and there until, by about half past five, they were in a deserted but beautiful place full of trees, small animals and bird-song.

For a while they had sat, Dominic, his back against a tree, with Tanisha sitting between his legs. He had braided her hair and then let it spring free, the brush he had brought with him slid through its silky softness and he had felt her melt back against him. Dominic knew that there was a very relaxing therapeutic reaction to having someone play with your hair, it was a feeling he enjoyed himself, but no one did it to him, not anymore.

The sun had begun to set before Dominic knew that it was time. He'd taken out the cutthroat razor that he kept in his pocket and carefully opened it before laying it on the ground just to the side of his right hand. He'd then moved his fingers up into Tanisha's hair and begun to gently massage her head. She had relaxed even more, but cried out as he pulled her hair suddenly back and wound it tightly around his hand.

He laughed as he remembered the way she had become instantly tense, how she had tried to wrestle herself out of his grip, but there was no escape, there never had been before, and this time was no different.

ooo

Rae wasn't sure what it was that woke her, she hadn't been aware of any noises, of anything disturbing her, and yet, somehow she was awake. She was also warm and comfortable in the bed, and the light she could see through her eyelids told her that it was morning, she had slept all night.

Gradually she became aware that she wasn't alone, she was lying on her side and so carefully she turned onto her back and opened her eyes, just a little bit, so that she could get her bearings. What she saw caused her to stare in disbelief, all thoughts of sleep forgotten and her heart beating so loud she was sure she could wake the entire floor.

In her dreams, when she had managed to get some sleep at home, Rae had been with Jesse, he hadn't necessarily known she was there, but they had been together. Sometimes she had been watching from a distance as a person played with children, or cleaned a car, ordinary, everyday things, and although she had never seen the face of the man in her dreams she had always known that it was her husband.

Now though, close enough to her that she could reach out and touch him, Jesse sat, in one of the slightly more comfortable chairs on offer at Community General, fast asleep. Rae was desperate to speak with him, to just say his name, but she didn't, somehow if she made a noise she knew that there was a chance he would wake up and run, and on top of everything else Rae wasn't sure she could handle that.

Deciding that if Jesse was asleep she may as well be, Rae snuggled down a little further under the covers, watched him for a few more minutes before she closed her eyes and waited for the welcome sensations of sleep to overcome her again, knowing that, for a short time at least, she was no longer alone.

ooo

Cheryl had arrived in the squad room just after eight in the morning to find that she was the senior detective there. Steve was still not in, Rae wouldn't be in, or at least she didn't think she would be, and as Ben Chapman and Sam Yip were the only other two people in the room there was no contest. There was a pile of messages on Rae's desk and Cheryl could see another pile of a similar height on Captain Newman's desk for Steve.

As she made her way to her own, relatively clear and almost tidy desk Cheryl saw a message slid underneath her phone. Carefully putting her coffee down she picked it up and read it through.

_For: Detective Banks From: Lieutenant Sloan_

_Lieutenant Sloan will be late in this morning, probably arriving about ten. Detective Yeager will be out for the next few days. If the Chief calls through for her please tell him that she will get in touch with him as soon as she is able._

Cheryl realised that it was Alison who had taken the message, she was very business-like and efficient and Cheryl knew from past experience that even if you were friendly and relaxed when you called in, it never came across that way.

As she ripped the note into pieces before dropping it into her wastebasket the phone began to ring and she lifted the receiver. "Detective Banks, Homicide… oh right, yeah for this week, it's me, can you put him through?" Cheryl picked up a pencil, slid a tablet of paper underneath it and listened with horror to the voice on the other end of the line.

ooo

The Vice Principal's office at Beverly Hills High was about the size of the entire school that Steve had attended. They sat, the three of them, in dark leather seats, which were both functional and extremely comfortable. The secretary who worked in the outer office had shown them in and explained that Mr. Gillingham would be a few minutes as there had been a problem in one of the science blocks that he'd had to deal with.

The delay had done nothing to improve the feeling of morning sickness, which was washing over Jo at regular intervals or Steve's mood. Jo knew that she looked pale, felt pale, and would have been able to handle things far better if the meeting had been in the afternoon.

Daniel sat, his hands in his lap, and tried to work out why he was where he was when other kids were twice as bad and just sailed through school and life without a mark against their names. He took a sideward glance at his dad and was relieved when he didn't catch his eye. They'd had disagreements before, but last night he had felt the full force of his father's anger, and he hadn't liked it one bit.

_The evening meal had been full of talk because Eliana was at the table. Anneya had been totally exhausted when she arrived, M had fed her separately and she was already tucked up in bed fast asleep. The meal had been a simple one, but Daniel knew it had been made with him in mind. There was a cold meatloaf, which was one of his favourites, salad and baked potatoes, to be followed by something that smelt remarkably like fruit pie._

_Eliana had chatted happily on about how her daddy had taken her to school and met her teacher, which was a subject that Daniel was rather hoping to keep away from. For a short while after the meal was over his mom had played with the little girl, read her stories and shown her some photos from the boxes she had been cataloguing. Finally, just after eight they had all kissed her goodnight and Jo had taken her up to join her sister in the nursery._

_Daniel had got up out of the chair he had been sitting in while he read the sports pages of the newspaper, but his father had looked up and spoken._

_"Stay where you are please, I need to talk with you."_

_"Not now, Dad, I'm real tired, and I have homework to do."_

_"Yes, now. If your work is late you'll have a chance to explain why to Mr. Gillingham in the morning and, as I'll be there too, I can either agree or disagree with what you say."_

_"You'll be there?" he had been horrified, and he knew he'd sounded that way, "I thought you'd be working."_

_"Oh, you did, did you? Well you were wrong. I'm covering for Captain Newman, remember? So I get to go in a little later, I'll start at ten and finish at seven, but even if I wasn't working desk duty I would still be there. Your mother shouldn't have to deal with this on her own; in fact we shouldn't have to deal with it at all. So, maybe you would like to explain why we have to."_

_He hadn't said anything, not really knowing where to begin, but his dad had misinterpreted his silence and the resulting comments had surprised him._

_"DANIEL! If you don't have the decency to at least reply to me I will make sure that anything and everything that you had planned from now until Christmas is cancelled, and your trip to San Fran will be definitely pending, is that clear?"_

_"Yes, Sir." He had answered promptly and politely, knowing that to do anything else would be foolhardy._

_"Good, now, perhaps you would be kind enough to let me know just what it was that you did to get yourself suspended." The way his father had emphasized the word 'kind' had made him realize that his dad was past being annoyed, he was furious, and only just keeping a hold on his temper._

_"I didn't do anything." Daniel looked down, he had sort of told the truth but knew it wouldn't be seen that way._

He'd been right, the conversation had gotten a little out of hand after that until finally he'd told his dad he had done nothing and he wasn't going to say anything else; it hadn't been completely true but he wasn't bothered about that. Now, the following day, he still knew that it was unfair he'd been singled out and as he went back to the math class where it all started he lived it over in his mind once more.

_"Good morning, class, I hope you had a pleasant evening, and that all homework is done and waiting to be collected. Daniel, you don't seem to have any of your supplies out on the desk." Mrs Burns, the math teacher, looked over her glasses at him and smiled. She was a lovely lady, and usually he enjoyed her lessons, but somehow today he had no enthusiasm for anything, especially school._

_"No, I don't, I'm sorry." He had leant down to get a pen, pencil and ruler out of his bag but as he did so he'd realised that they were still sitting on his desk at home so he straightened back up and just sat there._

_"Ok, I've written all the formulas for finding the volume of different shapes on the board. Now, I know you know these, you will have done them in previous years and think they're easy, however, you have a test on Friday and a little bird told me that this will be in it." Mrs Burns had smiled again, everyone knew that she wrote her own tests and always went over as much of it as she could in the week before she actually gave the papers out. "Now, Francine, would you like to come up and tell me which one of the items listed is for a square."_

_Francine Edwards was a friend of his; she had red hair that curled all over and went way down her back. As she got to her feet and made her way to the front of the class one of the boys next to Daniel let out a whistle and he'd laughed._

_"Hey, Man, you think she's hot too?"_

_"Oh yeah, red hot!" Daniel had joined in the laughter as he spoke._

_"Gentlemen, that is not suitable language for my classroom, I would ask you to refrain from using it here."_

_Francine, who he had known was trying desperately to ignore them, had written the right answer on the board and made her way back to her seat. _

_"Thank you, that is correct, now who's next?" Mrs Burns smiled and waited for another hand to be raised._

_"With Francine? Oh me, me!" Daniel hadn't meant to speak loud enough to be heard but Mrs Burns was down on him in an instant._

_"Young man, you still don't have your supplies out, and now you are making inappropriate remarks, I suggest that you get yourself organized."_

_"Yeah, whatever." Daniel knew his tone had been bordering on rude but he had been surprised at the turn of events._

_"Out! I will not have this behavior in my class, you are holding up the entire group. Go wait in the hallway and I will speak with you later."_

_Daniel had stared at her in disbelief; Mrs Burns was one of the nicest ladies in the school, shaking his head he shoved his chair back until it hit the desk behind his and stomped from the classroom, slamming the door behind him and moaning and mumbling the entire time._

"Daniel, I said do you know what you are gonna say to Mr. Gillin'ham?" His mom's voice cut into his thoughts and he jumped. "Hey, I guess you were further away than I thought."

"What? No, no, I haven't, sorry, I guess."

Jo and Steve looked at each other, they still hadn't found out what had gone wrong the day before, Steve had tried and although he had left their son in no doubt as to how they felt about the situation they still didn't know what had happened or why.

Steve was about to speak when the door opened and a young man of about thirty-five to forty entered. "Hi, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, my name is Hayden Gillingham, I'm pleased to meet you both."

Steve had stood as the man entered and he now shook his hand; Jo smiled up at the young man and realised that he was far nicer than her son had led her to believe.

Twenty minutes later, once the discussion on acceptable manners had been gone through, and Daniel had assured the adults in the room that his behavior would not be as bad again Jo and Steve found themselves back in the parking lot knowing that their son wouldn't be spending any of the day with his friends or classmates.

"I still don't understand what got into him. Even when he was in trouble at his last school he was never rude to teachers, an' he always had respect for everyone, well except for that awful boy." Jo thought for a moment about the young man who had verbally, as well as physically, abused their child. He was now serving time in juvenile hall and she hadn't thought about him for a while. "Do you think he's being bullied again?"

"I don't know, but I'll try to get home earlier than I'd planned tonight so maybe we can chat with him. But with Rae out until Monday it's gonna be hard." Steve had Jo's hand in his and he gently rubbed his thumb across the back of it. "C'mon, I'll drive you home." He opened the passenger door and watched as his wife made herself comfortable. Once that was done he went round and climbed in himself, started up the car and began the short journey home.

By the time they arrived Jo had to rush from the car and only just made it to the bathroom before her morning sickness took over. Steve, who had been going to just drop her and drive off, parked the car, followed her in and then he stood, awkwardly in the hallway, not knowing what to do or say but guessing that as her pregnancy progressed it would be a situation that he found himself in quite often.

ooo

The next time that Rae awoke she lay very still for a moment until where she was and why came rushing back at her. She was lying on her back and so she opened her eyes, almost afraid to look around her, but then she saw what she had been so desperate to see and said one word.

"Jesse." She almost dare not breathe as she watched the man she loved so much sitting just in front of her reading the newspaper, but as soon as he heard her voice he looked up, and the relief and love in his eyes almost overwhelmed her. "Oh, Jesse."

He realised that no one said his name in quite the way that she did and he felt his heart beat a little faster. "Rae, how … how are you feeling?" He didn't know what to say, so much was rushing around inside his head and so he fell back on the standard questions he would ask anyone lying in a hospital bed.

"I'm ok, I think." She had been about to say something more when there was a tap on the door and they both looked up to see Alex waiting to come in.

"Good morning, Jesse, Rae, how did you sleep?"

"Excuse me." Jesse made for the door and heard his wife call out.

"No! Jesse, please, no, don't go." Rae wanted to get out of the bed and take hold on his hand, but she knew that the IV's attached to her made that impossible. Instead she looked at him, tears up in her eyes and waited for an answer.

"I … I won't go far, I need something to eat, but I'll come back … thirty minutes, I'll come back in thirty minutes." Jesse looked at her, part of him wanted to take her hand in his, to kiss her gently before he left the room, but another part, the dominant piece of him right now, couldn't do it and so, with a small smile, he went through the door and out into the hallway.

ooo

The squad room was quiet when Steve walked in, everyone there was either working at their desks or talking on the telephone; none of the conversations were intrusive however, and as he made his way over to the coffee machine, Steve looked around and smiled.

Cheryl was writing as Steve passed her desk on the way to his office; she looked up and put her pen down. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself, how's it going this morning?" Steve put his coffee down on her blotter and pulled up a chair.

"Well, you're not gonna like it, so I guess it's a good thing you're sitting down." Cheryl had a hot drink as well and she took a mouthful from it before continuing. "We got more feedback on the details you and Rae sent out on your Red Rose Killer." She paused and waited for Steve to speak.

"And? If it's not good there are either no leads at all or … too many!" Steve wished he was back in the Vice Principal's office. At least there he could forget killings, burglaries and paperwork, and he had a feeling that what Cheryl was about to tell him would change his whole day.

"I got a call from Santa Barbara this morning; they recognized the MO and told me about two murders there. I then went over to Rae's desk to see what information I could get from her and she had a note to contact ViCAP, so I did."

"And it got worse didn't it?" Steve asked it as a question but he knew it was a statement really. The Violent Criminal Apprehension Program was a nationwide program which, amongst other things, gave cops a good idea whether their suspects had committed similar crimes in other areas. It appeared that the Red Rose Killer was a traveler.

"Oh yeah, I would say that he's a California boy, but he has killed in six cities that I could find so far, but he must like LA because we have the most!"

"Wonderful, why couldn't he have fallen in love with Fresno or San Diego or … well anyplace but here?" Steve could see the names of the cities in the notes Cheryl had taken and felt his heart sink.

"Give me five minutes and I'll finish writing up what I have, I'll come and see you in the hallowed confines of your office and we can go through it." Cheryl picked up her pen again as she spoke.

"I can wait, we can do it right here."

"Oh no, you have comfy chairs, and even though you seem to prefer our sludge, you even have your own coffee machine, I will come to you!"

"I have cookies too." Steve smiled, he'd found a tin of what he knew Rae would call biscuits in the cupboard with the coffee filters and was suddenly glad to have the chance to share.

"Oh well then, there's no contest, in fact I may well move in for the entire day! Now go, and remember, I like my coffee white with one." She handed her now empty mug to him and then went back to work, and Steve, knowing that there would be precious little joviality for the rest of the day, savored the moment just a little longer before heading for his office.

ooo

"So, I guess the first thing I should ask you is did you sleep well? But you look rested, and more relaxed than I have seen you in a while, so I'm guessing the answer is yes."

"Yes, the answer is yes, and now I just want to go home, get changed and go to work … I … what?"

"Rae, I know you feel better this morning, but there is no way I'm gonna let you go to work until Monday at the very earliest … no, Rae, don't even try to change my mind, you will feel very ill again very quickly if you go back to work today, tomorrow or probably any day this week." Alex knew that he would have trouble getting Rae to agree to more than a couple of days at home but he had to try.

"But I have so much to do, Alex, I have two cases that are just not gonna go away, Steve is being Captain Sloan this week so he can't do them, I have to try and work out how to start communicating with Anneya, how to explain it to Eliana, I cannot go home and just do nothing, the house is a mess, I have to do that too." Rae ran her hands through her hair and another problem came to mind. "And I have to get my hair cut!"

"Rae, think about what you just said, it's no wonder that you aren't sleeping, you're running yourself into the ground. You have to get yourself some help. You have a beautiful home, but there is no way that it was designed for a family to live there, and for you to work and keep it clean. I only have Steve's apartment to tidy and that's a real struggle."

Rae looked away, she could feel tears just below the surface, and knew that what Alex said was true; she was going to burn out if she didn't do something about her life outside work.

"Now, while you are quiet I am going to go through the questions I didn't ask last night, I also want you to have a CAT scan which is booked for …" Alex checked his watch as he spoke, "about twenty minutes time. Once that is done, guess what?"

"What?"

"You can go home."

"Thank you." Rae smiled and took his hand in hers to give it a little squeeze, "and I promise I will take it a little easier, but if I feel better can I go in Friday?"

"Rae, you're a sensible lady, occasionally, but you are also conscientious and always try to do a good job. Don't do anything today, but tomorrow you can do some paperwork, at home, and if you are still sleeping and feeling ok then call me Thursday and I'll come over and see you."

"Thank you, I will be as level-headed as I can be, and I'll try not to work too hard. I will send the girls to Sally as usual, so the house will be mine. Alex, the girls, what happened with the girls last night?"

It was clear to Alex from his patient's horrified and guilty expression that she hadn't given her daughters a thought. "Steve picked them up and took them home with him. He said to tell you that Michael would get to Sally's a little early so that she could take Eliana to pre-school. I meant to tell you as soon as I came in, I'm sorry." Now it was his turn to feel guilty, but Rae smiled at him.

"You're as busy as I am, don't worry about it, I should have known that everything would be sorted out for me."

"Right then, questions, and scans and then you can go home, where it will be quiet, and you can rest."

Rae nodded her head even though the thought of an empty house again wasn't really that welcome. She desperately wanted to ask Jesse to come with her, to stay, but she was scared, scared that the time she'd been asleep was all the time she would have with him.

ooo

Jo had shooed Steve off to work once she had recovered from her car trip. She knew that she could have walked home in about twenty minutes, but she also knew that her husband would never allow it, car travel was a definite problem though, and she was already counting the days to the end of the first trimester. She filled a pitcher with water, picked up a glass and made her way up the stairs to her office. The box with the letters in was calling to her, she found it almost impossible to drag herself away from them and now she had the rest of the morning in front of her she wanted to get back to them as soon as she could; maybe one of them would tell her what to do with a rebellious fifteen-year-old.

The phone rang as she got just inside the door and she hastily put down her jug and drink and picked up the receiver. "Hello… Honey, I'm fine, an' you can't possibly have gotten to the station yet… well, you are gonna just have to get used to it, 'cause I have another few weeks of this to go… Oh yeah, well you try being me, that's no barrel full of laughs either… I love you too; I'll see you for dinner… ok, bye … yeah, bye." Jo put the phone down with a smile and wondered how her husband would be when she got to the stage of false labor pains, restless nights and then sleepless ones when the baby arrived.

The first letter in the box was written by the friend whose name Jo still couldn't decipher, although she was leaning towards Victoria, and it looked as if it had been read more than once by the first recipient.

_My dearest Elle,_

_I am unsure how to advise you on the news you gave me in your most recent letter, but you can be assured that I will remain your friend and confidante. My momma has told me that I must no longer have anything to do with you, but if you send your letters to Mary, the Mary who is my maid, she will pass them on without saying anything to anyone else._

_I have to admit that your news has left me perplexed and uncertain what will happen next. I wish I could say that yes, you could come here, but I fear I cannot. I will try to find out whether there is anywhere nearby that you could stay, maybe rent a property until the problem is solved, at least that way you would be near a friend._

_I have to tell you that I met James __Jardinero while I was in town last Friday, he recognised me and we had a very nice interlude over lunch. Mary was with me, so I was not un-chaperoned. _

_Elle, you are the best friend I have in the world, and you know you can write me with all your problems and I will try to help you. I just hope that you will understand if I do not know what to say to you over the next few weeks and months._

_Please keep writing to me though; I need to know that you are well. If there is a chance of you coming into Austin I hope that you will avail yourself of it._

_Until then my friend, take care_

Jo decided that the name was most definitely maybe Victoria and that even if it wasn't; in her mind she was now called that. It appeared that Elle had a problem, and Victoria was trying to help, she was, though, annoyingly circumspect and so Jo picked up the next letter hoping for enlightenment.

ooo

Steve looked at the two maps he had set up on the wall of the Captain's office. He had begun to put red pushpins in at all the locations where murders had occurred. The first map was of the metropolitan Los Angeles area and had four pins in it; the other was of California as a whole and there were another four pins over LA, three for San Francisco, two for Santa Barbara and one each for Fresno, San Diego and Carmel. _Twelve murders, this guy has killed twelve women and no one has any idea who he is or what he looks like._ With a deep sigh Steve returned to his desk and picked up the artist's impression that Cheryl and Alex had assisted with. The picture told him nothing. He knew that if he could choose one cop to help the police artist produce a likeness of a suspect then Cheryl would be the one. She was as good as they got, but Matthew or Dominic Little had an instantly forgettable face, so they still had nothing to go on. All they knew now was that he had dark blonde hair, his eyes had been blue and his eyebrows were brown. They couldn't be certain as to what he'd looked like. Hell, Steve had seen the guy and had no idea how to describe him. He slammed the sheet of paper back down on the desk and picked up the phone, it was over an hour since he'd called Jo, and he needed to make sure she was ok.

ooo

The CAT scan had passed without incident; Rae had felt herself drifting off to sleep and had, for the first time, enjoyed the procedure. Alex had discharged her, and now she was waiting in the lobby for the cab she'd ordered.

"Did you order a car to take you to Beverly Hills?" The voice was slightly muffled and so she turned towards the sound.

"Yes, I did, oh yes." She looked up into the smiling face of her husband and grinned back at him.

"Well then, Madam, your carriage awaits.


	31. Actions Speak Louder than Words

**Chapter 31 – Actions Speak Louder than Words**

The sun was beating down through the windows of the airport as John Masters made his way out to where the taxis were waiting for fares. He had left instructions with his secretary, Margaret, that unless Rae called through to him he was unavailable for the next week. John knew that she would still pass on anything he should deal with as a matter of urgency, but he also knew that the world wouldn't stop in LA if he weren't there for seven days.

The first taxi in the rank was a deep blue Mercedes and, deciding that if he was on vacation he should enjoy himself, the chief opened the door and climbed into the back while his driver stowed the one bag he'd brought with him in the trunk. Once he had given his destination as the Palm Trees Beach Club he relaxed back into the silver- grey leather upholstery and watched a very pleasant world go by the window.

ooo

It was the middle of the day before Jesse drew into the drive of his home and carefully parked the car. Once he had done so he got out of the vehicle and walked round to let his wife out too. Rae had fallen asleep almost as soon as she had made herself comfortable in the front seat and put her belt on. Jesse felt guilty waking her, but he knew that she needed to rest properly.

"Rae, Rae, you're home." Jesse carefully shook her by the shoulder, moving his hand back quickly as she began to stir. Being with her was getting a little easier with time, but touching her, knowing that she might want to touch him back, that wasn't easy, it wasn't easy at all.

"Mmm, what?" Rae slowly opened her eyes and saw the house in front of her. She smiled and carefully stretched before she climbed out and closed the door. The keys were in her pocket and, knowing that Jesse didn't have a set, she unlocked the door and then, with her heart beating loudly, she waited to see if he would come in with her.

ooo

The Beach Club was a fantastically luxurious setting in which to indulge in a bit of sleuthing, and for a moment John Masters wondered how the bill for two homicide detectives to stay here would go down in accounts. Then, deciding to forget about work, crowded offices and smoggy sidewalks, he made his way through the lobby following a porter towards the elevators. One of the problems with his plan, he had realised as he relaxed on the plane, was that he had no idea what his son looked like. At first the chief had thought that knowing what his wife had looked like and what he himself looked like finding the young man would be easy, but he'd only been in the place for a little over ten minutes and so far everyone, including the receptionist, seemed familiar.

"This is your suite, Sir; I hope you will have a very happy stay at The Palm Trees Beach Club." The young man who had escorted him to his room opened the door and indicated that John should enter.

"Thank you, here you go." Once the chief had tipped the man he watched him leave and then looked around. The room, like the rest of the resort that he had seen so far, was beautiful, and, letting himself wallow for a little while, he thought how much he would have liked to have brought Elizabeth to a place like this where they could shut out the rest of the world and just enjoy being together after so long apart. That had been ripped away from him though, maybe by the young man he was here to find, but he didn't want to see him as a murderer, as a killer, he wanted to watch him and see his son, the man who, whether he realised it or not, carried on the Masters' family name, and, more than anything else, he wanted to see what he'd missed.

ooo

Steve put a call through to his dad after he'd eaten a very sad salad roll and asked him whether he was free for a little consulting that afternoon. Mark had arrived twenty minutes later with two boxes containing pizza and a couple of cartons of hot chocolate.

"How did you know that I was still hungry? I didn't even say I was eating." Steve shook his head in disbelief, his father never ceased to amaze him.

"I didn't, but I haven't had lunch yet, and I knew the trouble I would be in if I didn't bring enough for two … was that what you ate?" Mark looked dubiously at the remnants of a mediocre lunch in the wastebasket.

"Yep, so I am very grateful for this." Steve sat at the desk and opened his pizza box, the aroma was wonderful and he took a bite.

"So, what was it you wanted to discuss?" Mark asked his question with a gleam in his eye and watched as Steve tried to extricate himself from the cheese his teeth hadn't quite coped with.

"You," Steve swallowed, "waited until I took a bite, I saw you!"

Mark laughed and held his hands up, and then he began his own lunch. For the next ten minutes the room was full mainly of companionable silence, with just the occasional comment when one or other of them wasn't eating, but finally, with both packages neatly stacked next to the wastebasket, Steve stood up and moved across to the maps on the wall.

"I only started this today, and I'm still working on it, but this is what we have so far."

Mark put his glasses on the end of his nose and began looking at the different information now surrounding the map of his hometown. "What's this one, a Jane Doe?"

"Yeah, for now, but from what I read in Rae's notes she shouldn't be that hard to identify. Amanda didn't do the autopsy, a …" Steve glanced down at a piece of paper, "Doctor Walter Saperstein did, d'you know him?" he looked over at his dad, enjoying the sensation of being able to invite him to join an investigation while he was the commanding officer. "Didn't you win an award from him?"

"No, same name, different person. I don't know him, not personally, but by reputation, yes. Bit of an old woman, but very good at what he does. What did he find?" Mark looked down at the shelf underneath the maps and picked up the piece of paper that his son had just referred to, which he recognized as having Rae's writing on it. "Oh, I see, yes, that does narrow it down a little bit. Do you have someone in missing persons looking for her?"

"Yeah, and they're looking city wide. Saperstein thinks she'd had a baby, so somewhere there is a child who no longer has a mom …" He trailed off, the subject making him think of Jo and he wondered how she was. "Sorry, what?"

Mark had seen his son's attention wander for a moment and had put his hand on his arm. "Steve, Rae isn't the only one who isn't getting enough sleep, why don't we sit down and do this?"

"Because I want you to look at this first. I've had pictures sent to me from San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Fresno, San Diego and Carmel, I have three for here plus our latest victim, twelve girls, Dad, twelve, we have to stop him, before he kills again." Steve's eyes rested on the photo of Nadine, which had a piece of blue string joining it to one of the red pushpins, which was positioned at Toluca Lake. "This has to end."

"Steve, you must have pictures in their files, let's sit down, we can discuss this much easier that way." Mark was concerned by the worry in his son's eyes and he wondered whether there was more going on than he knew about.

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me. I … I need to ask you a question too."

"Ok, ask away, what is it?" Mark made himself comfortable once again by the side of Captain Newman's desk and checked that there weren't any greasy crumbs or bits of pizza left on the surface. Once he was sure everything was fine he looked up and waited for Steve to put down all the information he had gathered on the Red Rose Killer.

ooo

Rae had stood just inside the front door to her home and looked out at Jesse who was still standing in the front yard. "Jesse, please." She didn't know what else to say, or whether if she said anything at all he would turn tail and run.

Jesse stood there, he had planned to go in with Rae, to stay with her for a while and then pick up the girls from Sally, but now that he was here, and needing to only take three or four steps to be back home, where he knew that he really belonged, he wasn't sure if he could do it.

The tears threatened Rae, but she swallowed them back down and, not wanting to put more pressure on him, she went into the breakfast room and sat on the sofa.

_The first step of any journey is the hardest one to make_, Jesse knew that was true, and as the thought came up into his mind he realised that he had already taken many steps. He'd gradually gotten closer and closer to Rae again without actually committing himself to anything more than a taxi ride to Beverly Hills, but now this was different, this was home, and he knew, deep down, that if he went in he wouldn't be able to leave, not ever again and he was suddenly hit by the awareness of the fact that he didn't want to, not ever again. For a few moments more Jesse battled with his emotions, and then when he noticed that Rae had gone in without him he took his courage in both hands and followed her.

ooo

Jo had forced herself to put the letters away and have some lunch, and as she was sitting with her chicken noodle soup and home made bread roll she went over a short conversation that she'd had with Michael a little earlier in the day. He had taken Eliana and Anneya over to their carer and, unusually for him, had reported back what had happened.

_"Michael, did you get the girls to Sally ok?" Jo had been tidying away the things in the morning room after breakfast when her butler had returned._

_"Yes, Madam, they got safely to their destination, and I was planning to do that upon my return." Jo had known that Michael was a little put out about her clearing up and so she had let him take the dirty tablecloth out of her hands before following him into the laundry room._

_"Did Eliana stop speakin' at all durin' the journey?" She had laughed; the little girl seemed to talk constantly, almost never pausing long enough to even take a breath._

_"Yes she did, and Miss Anneya got very excited when we drove past Oak Place, she definitely recognized it as her home."_

At the time Jo had just smiled, but an idea had been wandering around in her mind all morning, and now, as she drained the last of the soup and ate the final mouthful of her bread she picked up the phone from beside her and put a call through to her attorney, Gilbert Sholte.

ooo

Rae heard the front door click shut and she closed her eyes; her hands were in tight fists, and she waited to hear whether Jesse had closed the door from outside the house or inside.

"Rae?" Jesse looked down at her, she looked so little, so scared, and he knew that he was the cause of that.

The relief that washed over Rae was incredible, her husband was home, for however long or short a time didn't matter right now, he was home.

ooo

Steve had arrived home a little later than he'd planned and Mark had come with him. A very pleasant family meal had been eaten, and Daniel had been relieved that neither his mom nor dad had mentioned his problems to his grandpa.

Steve had wanted to make sure that Rae would be up to doing a little work the following day at home. He knew that she was having trouble coping, but he also knew that without her he would be the same. Mark had called Alex from the station and without giving away any confidential information Steve had been told that yes it would be ok to speak with her, and that Alex had a feeling that come hell or high water she would be back at the station on the Friday morning.

With that information to hand Steve had brought home all they had on the four LA victims, as well as the details sent through from the other Californian locations which appeared to have been visited by their killer.

The body that had been found in Topanga State Park had been easily identified. Although the dental records had yet to be returned, it seemed likely that their victim was called Mary Sue Evett, a 24 year-old tourist from Sydney, Australia. Walter Saperstein had been correct about her disability and the fact that she had given birth, although it had been not once, but twice and the two children were living with their grandmother where Mary Sue had left them to take a three week holiday of a lifetime to a city she had always wanted to visit, Los Angeles.

ooo

The afternoon and early evening had been difficult for both Rae and Jesse, but gradually the atmosphere had eased a little. It had been very tense for a while though, Rae was scared she was going to say or do something to frighten off her husband while Jesse was fighting his own demons, delighted to be back home but terrified that Rae might ask something of him that he was unable to deliver. In the end though it was the one thing that he could always be counted on for, that had made things more relaxed.

"Jesse, thank you, the tea was delicious." Rae put the cup down on the tray that was over her knees. She had fallen asleep on the sofa after a light lunch, and had only woken when Jesse had told her that he was going out to pick up the girls. The house had descended into silence, but because Jesse had come home the silence was different and Rae had snuggled back down underneath the throw that she had pulled around her and drifted back off to sleep.

The feeling of small soft fingers on her cheek had awaked her and as she slowly opened her eyes Rae saw both Eliana and Anneya looking at her. "Hi, my darlings, how are you?"

Eliana had launched into a description of her day, which jumped from morning to afternoon and back again, and Anneya had just held tightly to her daddy's hand and looked as if she would never let go.

The girls had been put to bed a little after six and then Jesse had come back in to sit with his wife, if not on the sofa with her, at least in the same room.

"Would you like another piece of cake?" Jesse looked around for something to cut it with, but couldn't see it.

"Yes please, but I'll go get the knife, I need another drink of water too." Rae got up from where she was sitting and went out into the kitchen and Jesse sat and watched. Two minutes later he heard her cry out and rushed after her.

"Rae, Honey, what's wrong … oh, God, ok, don't worry, it's all right, just hold it up, but over the sink and I'll go get my bag." The bread knife was lying on the counter, blood over its blade, and Rae was holding her right hand up and away from herself as she watched it bleed into the sink.

Jesse wasn't gone more than a minute or two at the most; he rushed to the car, took his bag from the trunk and raced back into the house. All his worries about Rae being too close to him were forgotten as he arrived back in the kitchen to see her bent over the sink, her forehead resting on the cold stainless steel.

"Come and sit down, that's it, easy does it." Jesse, his arm around her shoulders, guided her to a kitchen chair, making sure that her hand was kept raised above her heart as he did so. He carefully positioned her so that she could sit and rest her head on her knees, giving her a gentle push in the right direction to help her on her way.

"I … I'm sorry, Jesse, I thought I was gonna pass out again. Please, don't take me back to the hospital … please." Rae was almost grey, but Jesse knew that it was a combination of the fatigue she was suffering from coupled with the shock of slicing into her finger unexpectedly.

"Shhh, it's ok, I can deal with this here, I have everything I need in my bag." As he spoke Jesse leant over and pulled open the drawer he knew Rae kept the dishtowels in and shook one out to lay on the table. He then put everything he needed on top of it and prepared an injection so that Rae wouldn't feel any more pain. "Ok, this might hurt a little bit, but it'll soon wear off."

"What … what is it?" Rae carefully raised her head and looked up into the wonderful blue eyes of her husband, but he began to blur a little around the edges and so she quickly looked back down again.

"It's just lidocaine … there it's done." Jesse put the syringe down and waited for the anesthetic to take effect.

"No, Jess, it … it makes me feel sick." Rae leant sideways a little and felt the heat from Jesse's body as she made contact with him.

Jesse had forgotten that his wife had an adverse reaction to the drug he'd just given her, but it was only very slight, and he knew that she had never suffered a toxic reaction, just the mild nausea, which, he had a feeling, was more psychological than physical. He also knew that there was no way he could stitch her finger without it, so trying to be upbeat and positive he started to talk again. "Hey, it was either that or a visit back to Community General, and Alex is on duty tonight, want to explain to him what you were doing?"

"No … no, I guess not." Rae tried again to look up and this time Jesse's handsome face stayed where it was supposed to be, and looked as it was supposed to look. Heartened by this she tried a small smile too, which became broader when Jesse smiled back at her.

"Ok, let's give it another minute or two while I clean it up. If it hurts tell me and I'll wait a little longer before I stitch it."

"I will." Rae was almost too frightened too speak, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity Jesse was sitting so close to her that they were touching, he held her hand gently with his own and now, as he began to carefully clean away the blood, she could feel him breathe, and she didn't want to move ever again.

"There, it's a nasty cut, Rae; I'll stitch it up and check it again in the morning. But if it hurts more than it did before I jabbed you, or if it's throbbing, you know the drill, we go see Alex, ok?"

Rae just nodded, her eyes were now fixed on the needle that Jesse had in his hand ready to stitch her wound, but as it moved nearer to her finger she looked away and held her breath.

Twenty minutes later the finger was stitched and dressed, the sink no longer had blood in it and Rae was back on the sofa curled up. Jesse had taken a deep breath and sat at the other end to his wife and he was watching her as she sat, her eyes closed and her now bandaged hand in her lap. He realised that she was shaking slightly and he knew what he had to do.

"Rae, come here." The words didn't come out as a command but a request and she looked at him in surprise.

"Pardon?"

"You're cold, and probably suffering a little from shock, please, come here, to me." He held his arms out, and with a strangled cry Rae moved quickly to the other end of the seat and into his embrace.

ooo

John Masters sat at his table for one in the back corner of the Italian restaurant at the beach club and looked around him, taking in all the other diners, but especially a young couple two tables over from where he sat. Callum Edwards hadn't been difficult to find, a couple of telephone calls which were put through to the young man's room and a pretence at a wrong number had meant that the Chief could make a few trips up and down the hallway outside, and his luck had been with him when, on the second journey a young man, probably a little over six foot tall, and a shorter, brown haired woman had come out of suite 3921. The newspaper that he had thought to bring with him had kept the chief out of the view of his son, but he had been able to get a good look himself at the man he had come to see.

Their son, his grandson, wasn't with his parents, but there was an excellent childrens' activity package at the beach club and he was probably partaking of that to the full. Keeping as far back as he could without losing sight of the couple John Masters had made his way along the hallway and then into the same elevator. He waited in line while they made a dinner reservation and then did the same himself. When they both signed up for parascending though he'd drawn the line and spent the rest of the afternoon on the golf course.

ooo

It had been a bit of a struggle to start with, but gradually Jesse had relaxed enough that Rae did the same. He knew that she understood, somehow, about him not wanting to touch her, but when he had offered to hold her she hadn't been able to resist and had almost flung herself into his arms. Her breathing had been erratic and Jesse had known that she was struggling to keep herself under control, and taking a deep breath himself, he had gently stroked down her hair with his hand.

The feeling of her husband's caress across her head was too much for Rae; she had tried all afternoon to keep everything together, even when she had sliced open her finger she had managed not to cry, not to fall apart, but now, now that he was holding her, was comforting her, she couldn't contain herself any longer and she began to sob, deep, heavy sobs that showed more than anything just how she had suffered while Jesse had been away.

ooo

Once the dining table had been cleared Steve had put a call through to Amanda to see if she could come over and help them with the details from the various autopsies Steve now had in his possession. He had then called Jesse's cell phone and been delighted to find that he was just down the street once again. Jesse had been reluctant to join in the discussions, knowing that Rae needed to go to bed and get a good night's sleep, and even though she had only cut her finger he was worried about that too. He was however, also anxious to get back to more normality in his life, and he knew that talking over murders with his friends, however odd it may seem to other people, was about as normal as it got for him. In the end it was decided that Michael would go to Oak Place in case either of the children awoke and Rae would go to bed and sleep. Jesse arranged to return no later than eleven and then, once he had made sure that Rae was warm and comfortable in the large double bed in the master bedroom, and that her hand wasn't hurting too much he had said goodnight and left the room, wishing that he'd had the courage to kiss her, but knowing that he had achieved a great deal already.

ooo

The discussions hadn't uncovered anything too earth shattering, Amanda had gone through all the details sent down about the autopsies carried out in San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Fresno, San Diego and Carmel as well as casting her expert eye over her own and Walter's work again.

Steve had brought home a large easel from the station; he used it for discussions and brainstorm sessions there, and saw no reason not to do the same in Beverly Hills. There was now a piece of white paper clipped to it with _Similarities_ and _Differences_ written on it.

The differences column was sparsely populated, the only items on it were the names of the towns and the fact that Jenna had had a red rose stamp whilst the others had been holding a flower and Nadine had been knocked out.

The similarities column was bulging and Steve was glad that he'd begun writing reasonably neatly. The age of the victims were all within a close enough ratio for them to be considered similar. They had all been female, of course; white, blonde and beautiful. Once the personal attributes were put aside the other similarities were either in the MO or the signature of the killer. He used a knife, he disabled his victims first, usually by slashing their feet or their throats, it was impossible to tell in which order the two most devastating wounds had been caused, and he cut their hair off.

"You know there is one other thing that they have in common, I'm not sure if it is just a fluke or if it's deliberate." Amanda looked up from the notes she had kept herself on the four victims in Los Angeles so far.

"What? Anything at all that might help us catch this guy, fluke or not; in fact, right now, I'm all up for flukes." Steve looked at Amanda and she could see the tiredness in his eyes. She knew that Rae had been signed off for a few days, that Jo had already gone to bed because she was worn out and her pregnancy was making her more so, but Steve didn't have that luxury, he was working and worrying for all the victims and would continue to do so until the case was solved.

"All these women, the LA ones at any rate, were natural blondes. I know you can tell to a certain extent by eyebrows, but they can be dyed too."

"Hmm," Steve's eyes sparked with interest. "So he has either been lucky and picked the only four natural blondes in the city or he knows how to tell if they're cheating or not."

"Or …" Jesse paused as he got his thoughts in order, "he discards the ones who he finds out aren't natural."

"And how is he gonna … ohhhh!" Steve suddenly realised what he was about to ask and stopped talking, his embarrassment rising as he did so.

Mark chuckled and picked up one of the photos on the table. "This young lady from Santa Barbara looks like she should be a natural blonde, she has beautiful blue eyes, her brows are fair and her lashes too, I would say you might be on to something, Honey." He smiled across at Amanda; one of the pleasures of his insatiable curiosity had been the involvement of his two closest friends in the investigations he undertook with his son.

"I don't know what we can do with this bit of information, warn every natural blonde in California to go brunette? Why concentrate on the hair anyway? All of these women had long hair, not just shoulder length, but long, Nadine's came half way down her back, Jenna's too. The picture of Mary Sue isn't very clear, not for hair purposes anyhow. She had it pulled back off her face, so there's enough of it to tie up, but then, Rae has enough for that now, and I wouldn't consider her to have long hair."

"Looks nice though." Jesse spoke before even thinking his words through and the look on his face made his friends smile at him. They all knew that there had been no overnight recovery, that it had cost Jesse a great deal to be with his wife, but they were also delighted that he appeared ready to do all it took to get his life back.

ooo

The discussion had broken up just before eleven when Jesse announced that he had to go home. Amanda had followed a little while later as had Mark. Steve had put away all of his information ready to take to show Rae the following day. Once that had been done he had checked his date book, found that he didn't actually need to go into the station until the afternoon, and decided that he would work from home instead.

Much to his son's disgust Steve had driven him to school himself, giving him a stern lecture about responsibility, what was acceptable and unacceptable behavior, as well as a run down on how much allowance he would lose for each further transgression. The journey was only twenty minutes in rush hour traffic and Daniel was glad to get out of the vehicle and return to the safety of the schoolyard.

Once Steve had made sure that his son was inside the school gates he had driven back home, only stopping at a florist to buy Jo a bouquet of twelve deep red roses.

"Jo, I'm gonna go next door for a while, I need to look over some of this stuff with Rae, then I'll head into work." Steve called out from the bottom of the stairs to his wife who, he knew, was in her office in the East Wing trying to ignore the letters she had been reading the past few days so that she could catalogue some more of the bulky items. She had been delighted with the flowers, and his trip to see Rae had been delayed quite a while because of them, now though they had eaten lunch, she was working and he needed to be.

"Ok, don't be late, we're havin' dinner at the beach house tonight." Her voice floated down from upstairs reminding him of the plans which had been made the evening before.

"I won't, see you later." Steve strode across the hallway, out into the front yard of his house and he took in a deep breath; the air was crisp and, amazingly for Los Angeles, clean. With a smile on his face he made the short walk to the house of his partner and his best friend. The fact that Jesse had been able to come back to Oak Place the previous day had delighted Steve; he had felt torn when they had been apart, it had been natural to him that he should try to help Jesse all he could when his friend was suffering, even though he didn't think he had done very much, but Rae was his partner, and his friend too, and she had been suffering in a different but just as devastating way, which was why she was off sick. Now though, hopefully, that phase of their lives was ending, and although Jesse was still finding things hard, it was much easier than it had been for him.

His thoughts had taken him to the front door of Oak Place and he rang the bell and waited hoping that the positive tone from yesterday still prevailed with his friends.

ooo

Jo looked at the beautiful dress which was hanging on a tailor's dummy on the other side of her study, it was an almost silver green in colour, and now that she had put all the petticoats underneath it, it was exquisite. Jo had no idea who had made the dress, but she knew that she would find out. The idea, which she hadn't told anyone yet, had taken form that she could probably open a museum back in Texas, the proceeds from which could go to one of the local charities. She would want to put as much information with each item as possible, and if she couldn't find the maker, she would at least, she hoped, be able to work out who had worn it.

With this in mind every box that she had delivered to her from the storage company that morning was being unpacked and repacked. Some things were definitely only good for dumping, some were obviously of no interest to anyone outside the immediate family, but there were many, many items which would form the basis of an examination of Texan life since it joined the Union, and now that Jo had a project to work on she was almost obsessional about it. She had to admit that it was the letters that had fired her imagination the most, and she had locked the entire collection in the safe so that she couldn't read any more of them until she began to make at least a small reduction in the amount of items she had in storage.

The dresses had been repacked at some time in the not too distant past, and for the first time Jo was grateful for the large walk in closets in the East Wing. So far there was a deep burgundy velvet and taffeta gown, an ivory silk and lace gown and now the green gown, and Jo knew that in the other boxes, which were like individual closets in themselves, there would be other clothing. She was hoping for some men's outfits so that she could pair them off, and secretly she wanted to be able to put on one of the dresses and persuade Steve to wear a suit from a bygone era.

As Jo looked at a pair of darker green elbow length gloves which had been packed with the gown she heard the doorbell ring downstairs, and the unmistakable sound of Michael's footsteps across the highly polished hallway. She knew it was highly polished because no one had been allowed on it all morning.

"Good afternoon, Sir, may I help you?" the sound of the English man's voice was muffled, but still clear enough to hear.

Sir? Jo listened a little more intently. Michael knew most people who came to their door, and it was obvious from both his words and his tone that this person was a stranger to him. Try as she might Jo couldn't hear the voice of her visitor, but Michael's next words told her that he wasn't welcome in her house.

"I see, Sir, if you would just wait a moment, I will check whether Madam is available."

Jo heard the door being firmly closed, and she moved out into her private hallway to await her butler.

"Madam, there is a _gentleman_ downstairs for you." The way that Michael said 'gentleman' left Jo in no doubt that he considered the man nothing of the sort.

"An' what is his name, Michael?" Jo wasn't sure why but her heart was beating loudly and part of her didn't want her nice afternoon amongst her history spoiled.

"His name is Wayne McCauley, Madam … Madam, are you alright, would you like me to get the Lieutenant?" Michael was alarmed to see that Jo had gone almost grey and she staggered slightly, but she shook her head. "Michael, I'm ok, it was just a surprise that's all, he is someone I didn't ever think I would be seein' or hearin' from again."

Realisation dawned on Michael's features just as the bell began to ring again, and then a banging was heard on the glass. "I will get rid of him for you, Madam." Michael hadn't been with Miss Josephine when she had known Wayne McCauley but he had been dealing with the fall-out ever since. Now she was finally pregnant again, as well as being happily married, Michael knew that there was no place for the Texas cop in any of their lives.

"No, no, Michael, I will get rid of him, once an' for all, but I would be mighty glad if you could get Steve to 'pop home' just for a minute or two."

"Of course, Madam. I will put _Sir_ in the library." Michael went back down the stairs, and Jo went into her bedroom to put the brush through her hair, and make sure that she looked what she was, a very happy successful woman, who was certainly missing nothing because Detective McCauley wasn't still involved in her life.


	32. Welcome and Unwelcome Guests

**Chapter 32 Welcome and Unwelcome Guests**

Rae and Steve had all the various folders spread out on the table, a cup of tea and coffee, respectively, and were finally making some progress.

"So, if we put Mary Sue at the beginning of the line in LA, and all the results from San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Fresno, San Diego and Carmel before that, then we need at least one folder that has everything in date order, if only because we now have an up-to-date San Fran killing." Rae shook her head as she spoke, she knew who would be making up the folder, and she had already written down just how she wanted it to be.

"Yeah, I guess so, I don't suppose?" Steve smiled at her, and Rae was reminded of the first day she had met him when he had turned on the charm and she had spent so long tidying his desk that she had ended up sleeping at the beach house because it was too late to find a room anywhere else.

"Don't give me that look, Lieutenant, yes; I'll sort it out for you, because that way I will know where everything is!"

"And you don't now?" Steve gestured to the papers all over the table as he spoke and then laughed. "I guess it is a bit of a mess, huh?"

"Oh yeah, but give me, oooh, a month or so and I'll have it sorted." Rae was feeling far more rested than she had the night before, and she knew that it was more than the fact that she had slept well, it was because Jesse was back. She had woken up that morning refreshed and relaxed and wandered out on to the upstairs hallway to find out which bedroom Jesse had slept in.

_The sight that greeted her when she opened the door to the room closest to the nursery stopped her in her tracks. Jesse had been fast asleep, the covers of the bed pushed down and off him during the night. Ever since they had first been together Rae had loved to watch her husband as he slept and now was no exception, she stood and for a minute or two just looked at him, revelling in the fact that he had, finally, come back to her._

Rae was brought back to the present as Steve's phone began to ring in his pocket. He flipped it open and answered it without looking at the display.

"Sloan here, oh, hi, Michael … what …? No, I understand, but I'm coming back right now." Steve's face was full of anger when he slammed his phone shut and Rae leant over and placed a hand on his arm.

"Steve, what's the matter?"

"Rae, I have to go, I don't know if I'll be back today, can you finish up here? I … I have to get to the station and I'm having dinner with Dad, I'll … I'll see you tomorrow."

"Steve, is Texas all right, it's not … it's not the baby is it?" Rae found that she was holding her breath.

"No, no it's not, Rae, I have to go." Steve didn't even wait for an answer but rushed out of the room, across the hallway and was gone.

ooo

Jo had come slowly and deliberately down the stairs and made her way to the library. Wayne was sitting in one of the deep golden brocade chairs with an uninterrupted view of the door and Jo realised that on the rare occasion they used the room that was where Steve sat too.

"Wayne, to what do I owe this … visit." It was clear to both of them that pleasure was the proper word for the sentence just spoken.

"Well, now, Honey, I've been thinkin' about you a lot lately, an' I thought it was time we got ourselves reacquainted." Wayne hadn't risen to his feet as Jo entered the room and she added that to her list of grievances against him.

"I haven't thought about you a lot in years, nor do I intend to do so after you leave, which should be in about two minutes. If you have somethin' to say to me I suggest you get it said in that time." Jo had to concentrate hard to resist the temptation to place her hands over her stomach; she wanted to protect her child at all costs from this man.

"Little Lady, you sure have changed since the last time I saw you. You were a timid flower, an' now look at you, all grown up an' livin' in this mighty fine mansion. You are lookin' real pretty too, an' I like what you've done with your hair."

For a moment Jo couldn't work out what he meant, but then she realised he thought the white streak in her hair was a cosmetic addition. She just glared at Wayne, but he seemed unfazed by her actions and kept on talking.

"From what I hear you are a wealthy woman, Jo Walters, so I would imagine that our chil' is not short of a few dollars itself. What did you have in the end, Honey, boy or girl?"

Light began to glimmer for Jo, she had no idea how Wayne had discovered that she was the Jo Walters who was head of Walters Oil and Ranching nor did she really care. She was just about to speak again when to her horror she heard another voice.

"Mom, hi, I'm home." Daniel had looked in the morning room where his mother usually was by two-fifty when he got back from school, but she hadn't been there, and so now he was standing in the middle of the hallway calling her. "I got an A in math today; Ms Burns said I did real well."

"Hold on, Honey, I'm in the library, I have a visitor right now." Jo turned as she felt the presence of her son behind her.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I'll go see M then."

"Hold on a minute, Son." Wayne got to his feet and advanced on Daniel, who, not liking what he saw, took a step away from the stranger.

"Wayne, leave him be, Daniel, go find Michael, now." Jo stepped between them, and saw her son shake his head.

"No, I don't think you should be left here alone … MICHAEL, M, COME HERE!" Daniel moved over and in front of his mother, and even though she didn't want him to have any more contact than was necessary with this hateful man she was immensely proud of him.

"So, Son, you're Daniel, well, you're mighty big for your age." Wayne, ignoring the fact that neither of the other occupants of the room seemed to want anything to do with him, reached out his hand towards the boy.

"Don't you touch him, Wayne, I swear, you lay a hand on my son an' I'll throw you out myself!" Jo was aware of Michael coming to the threshold of the room behind her.

"Madam?"

Wayne ignored the interruption as he spoke to Jo again. "Now is that any way to introduce your chil' to his father?"

"What?" Daniel just stared at the man in front of him, and then as the ridiculousness of the situation hit him he laughed. "He's kidding, right?"

"No … he's wrong, but he doesn't think he's kiddin'."

"Jo, Honey, it's me, I forgot a file … where are you, Sweetheart?" The sound of her husband's voice made Jo feel weak with relief and she reached for Daniel's hand and grasped it tightly.

"I'm … I'm in the library."

Steve was there in two seconds, looking for all the world as if he had in fact left something behind. "Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know you had a visitor. Hi, I'm Steve Sloan." Michael tactfully disappeared again as soon as he knew that Steve was home.

"Well, Mr Sloan, I'm an old friend of Miss Walters from way back, maybe she has mentioned me to you, my name is Wayne McCaulay."

Steve glanced at Daniel and the boy knew instantly not to say anything. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew that his dad would handle it.

"Oh yes, she's mentioned you, you didn't come across in a very flattering light. How are the wife and children?"

Wayne took a step back, for a second he wasn't so sure of his ground, but he recovered quickly. "Well, I don't rightly know, we divorced 'bout eight years ago, but she's still takin' the money, so I'm guessin' she's just fine."

"I see, and what business is it that brought you here, Detective?"

"Detective?" Daniel couldn't keep quiet at that one, but he felt his mother grasp his hand again and hushed immediately.

"Well, I guess I'm not really a cop any more. I run my own detective agency though, an' I work haulage too." Wayne reached into his pocket and Steve moved his hand to be a little closer to the gun he had rushed upstairs for after he had silently entered the house. "This here's my card, if you ever need any detectin' done, then I'm your man."

"I see, but that doesn't tell us why you're here." Steve's whole demeanour was one of polite interest, and only those who knew him very well would have realised that it was an act.

"I was in the area, in fact I brought up some more cases from Jo's place in Texas, an' I wanted to let her know that I was around, I thought maybe we could rekindle our friendship so to speak. I was always so disappointed that we lost touch."

Jo let go of Daniel's hand, and with a glance at her husband she advanced on their visitor. "Wayne, if I ever see you again it will be too soon. Now, I suggest that you get out of my house an' you never come back. Is that clear?"

"Now just hold on here. You can't keep a man from his son, no matter how much money you have. I've got rights, an' I will make sure I get to exercise them."

"Oh, for goodness sake, you stupid man, look at him, he is fifteen years old, he was four before you an' I ever laid eyes on each other! I lost the baby I was carryin' ten years ago. Now get out, before we throw you out, or worse!"

"An' you told me you was a virgin, you tramp, I always knew you was easy!"

Jo's hand lashed out and slapped Wayne hard across the face, and it was all he could do not to stagger back under the force of it.

"If you don't leave our house this instant I will have you arrested." Steve moved between his wife and Wayne and saw Jo step back and take Daniel's hand into her own once more.

"Oh yeah, an' you are gonna do what, get her to call 911, or that bastard chil'? I don't think so, she just assaulted me, an' I know so much about your lady friend an' her family it would make your hair curl!"

"My lady friend, as you call her, is my wife, and I don't need to call 911, I am 911. I'm sure you remember what one of these looks like," Steve had his ID in his hand as he spoke, "you have to the count of three. One … Two …"

"I'm goin' but trust me; you haven't heard the last of Wayne McCauley." The man shook his fist at the three shell shocked people in front of him and strode out, Michael was obviously waiting at the front door for him and they heard him speak as Wayne arrived there.

"I believe that this is Sir's hat."

ooo

Dominic had managed to produce a creditable hairstyle on the third day of competition, but not one that was considered of a high enough quality for him to advance any further. Delighted at getting his desired outcome he had made his way back to the hotel to pack up his belongings so that he could move to a slightly less expensive establishment for the rest of his stay.

The receptionist who had spoken to him about Lucy caught his eye again and with a deep sigh he had gone across to speak to her.

"Mr. Little, I am real sorry to bother you, but did you make arrangements to see Lucy again? Only she hasn't been in to work and I can't get her at home. I don't want to go to the police or anything if she just took off for a while."

"We had a good date, but I'm heading home soon, we didn't make any plans to see each other again. I'm sorry that I can't help you." He had walked away, but he was concerned, the woman would know who he was, why he had been in town, from that the steps to finding the salon address from the conference organisers would be very short ones. Dominic knew that he had left no traces, no clues as to who he was before, and he wasn't about to start now, he would need to deal with the case of the nosy receptionist, and he had a feeling that he knew just how to do it.

ooo

"Honey, come and sit down, just for a little while, you've had a nasty shock, you shouldn't just brush it off. He threatened you; maybe I should have arrested him." Steve had his arm around Jo and she was happy to lean into him, knowing that he would protect her, just as he always had.

"No, Steve, he would walk, you know that. Michael won't let him in again … but I am so glad you were here … both of you, Daniel, thank you, Son, you made me feel very protected." Jo looked at the boy, the love and devotion she had seen in his eyes had produced a special memory, even in the middle of such an awful happening.

"Who was he, Mom? And why did he think I was his son? I know my dad, he sure wasn't him." Daniel shook his head, his real dad had washed his hands of him not long after his birth mom had left home, but now he had better parents than he could have ever imagined.

"I think I need to explain a few things to you, why don't we go an' sit in the mornin' room an' I'll tell you about him." Jo had moved out of Steve's grasp and was now holding on to Daniel's hand again.

"Jo, will you be alright if I go into work? We're just so busy and with Rae out until tomorrow, at least, I need to be there." Steve still looked worried, but he knew that Jo would have both Daniel and Michael to look after her.

"Sure I will be, I am not gonna be alone now am I?" Jo put a smile on her face and hoped that her husband would be convinced. If she was honest a few minutes together on the sofa would be very welcome, but she knew that at the end of the day they would be alone, just the two of them and so she nodded.

"I'll see you about eight or nine then." Steve kissed her lovingly on the lips, winding his fingers into her hair and he felt her lean into him again. "Oh, God, Jo, I love you so much." He held her close, taking in every inch of her, feeling her hair against his hand and then with one last hug he moved away, clapped his son on the shoulder and left them alone.

ooo

Rae had spent another hour or so working on the papers on her dining table, gradually she had been able to put each one away into a folder or, if they were duplicated, she had shredded them and reduced the abundance of information they had gathered. Once that had been done she checked her watch and was surprised to find that it was already almost three in the afternoon.

She walked into the living room, kicked her shoes off and made herself comfortable on the sofa. There was an afghan on the back of it and so she pulled that around herself, enjoying its soft warmness as well as the chance to sleep when she wanted to.

ooo

The airline had changed his ticket without any problems and Dominic was now sitting enjoying a pre-flight drink as he calmed himself down. By the time he had packed and got ready to leave, the staff on the reception desk had changed and a young man had dealt with his bill. Although the salon would pay for his room Dominic had decided it would be best to pay in cash for it so as to leave no trail. Once that had been done he had hailed a cab at the kerb and headed for the airport.

Lucy's personal belongings were in his overnight bag just above his head, he knew that he had sailed a little close to the wind with her, but she had been worth it. Her hair was just beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful he had felt for a long time, and he wished that he could run his fingers through it right now, but the wait, the anticipation, would make it all the better when he got home and made up her shelf in the apartment. Dominic wasn't sure how long it would be until all the women he had killed would be discovered, but he did know that the cops had found twelve of them so far. So the next one to be found would be victim number thirteen, _unlucky for some,_ he stifled the laugh that tried to escape, it had sure been unlucky for her, whoever 'her' should turn out to be.

ooo

The afternoon had been a busy one for Steve; the discovery of another body had resulted in the station lobby swarming with journalists and TV crews from across the country. There had also been a contingent from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation and Steve had realised that he remembered the latest victim by name at least.

A search through the database had given him the information that Mary Sue Evett had been national news for a week or so after her disappearance, longer in Australia. The personal information that Steve began to gather on her would be, he had a feeling, a vital piece of the puzzle, as they got closer to their man.

There was no hope of finding any new clues, the motel room she'd stayed in had been checked when she disappeared, but Steve knew that at the time Mary Sue had just been a missing person, and although a little more effort may have been taken because of the possible fallout from losing a tourist the search wouldn't have been as thorough as if it had been known she was a murder victim.

Her belongings though were still in the evidence locker and he had pulled them all as soon as he realised they were there. Tomorrow he would go through them with Rae and hopefully Cheryl if they were in the station. The court case against her Internet killer had started two days before, and Steve knew that Cheryl would be in and out of the courthouse for a few days until she was called to give evidence. There had been two delays so far after she had arrived to testify, and her own caseload was calling her too.

At a little after four in the afternoon Steve had shrugged himself into his suit jacket and made his way down to the press room. He had prepared a statement to start the conference with but he was hoping that he could use the press in a way that both Rae and Ron would approve of to get their man to come out into the open a little. _Little_, Steve wondered whether it was the guy's real name, and if it wasn't then they had nothing to go on, even if it was they had precious little, Steve groaned, every time he thought of that word he realised that it was a very apt name and he wondered whether it was deliberate.

The room was humming as he entered, but descended into silence as he made his way to the front of the assembled crowd. He put his papers on the table and wished that he didn't have to do this alone. The public relations officer had already arrived, and he was at least company, but Steve still felt the absence of Rae keenly.

"Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming." He didn't need to introduce himself, the nameplate saying 'Lieutenant Steven M. Sloan' sat in front of him and he resisted the temptation to pick it up and turn it over and over. "As some of you are aware another body has been discovered which bears all the hallmarks of our 'Red Rose Killer.' Steve paused as he suddenly realised that he had bought Jo red roses and he had to pull himself together very quickly. "The body was found in Topanga National Park and had obviously been there for some time."

"Karen Myers, Australian Broadcasting Corporation. Do you have a formal identification yet, Lieutenant?" A young woman at the front of the room with a definite Australian accent spoke up.

Steve didn't like being interrupted, but he answered politely. "Yes, Ma'am, we do. The body has been identified as Mary Sue Evett, an Australian tourist who went missing a little over six months ago." Steve watched with fascination as pencils skimmed across paper and journalist took down his every word, there were some people who just taped the entire meeting and then transcribed it later, and others who wrote it all down, he couldn't help but think that was the proper way to do it.

"The other bodies were found almost right away, why do you think this one was different?"

"I'm sorry, you are?" Steve was glad that the guy hadn't identified himself, that way he could form an answer while he did so.

"Marvin Mattie, LA Times."

"Well, Mr. Mattie, that isn't a question I can easily answer. The body was discovered in the state park, it wasn't hidden, but it wasn't on view either, I guess it was just a part of the forest that doesn't get visited very often." Steve knew that he sounded a bit pathetic, but it was true, sometimes things just didn't get found, and this was one of those times.

"Six months though is a long time and this guy seems to have killed regularly, do you think that there are more undiscovered bodies out there?" Mr. Mattie it seemed wasn't going to be deterred.

"I can't possibly answer that with a definite yes or no. There could be many reasons why a serial killer stops killing, it could be because he has moved on, or has died, or is just not able to do it for a while."

"Like if he was in prison you mean?" A third voice joined in the conversation, "Oh, I'm sorry, Martin Johns, BBC."

"Yes, Sir, that is what I mean, but we have no evidence to support any of these theories as yet, we are, as we said before, closing in on our man, but we need the public to be vigilant, to report anything that they think relates to this case in any way."

"There is obviously a connection between the victims; do you know the reason why he is targeting blondes?" The voice came from the back of the room and Steve decided not to ask who it was.

"Everyone should be very careful before accepting dates with new people, but right now it stands to reason, if you are blonde, don't go places alone with anyone, if you are meeting someone for the first time then tell a friend or relation where you are and what time you will be back and stick to those plans, maybe take someone else with you. This guy is dangerous, we will get him, but until we do everyone needs to be on their guard."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, there is an artist's impression of our suspect for all of you to pick up on your way out, thank you." The public relations officer held up the picture of Matthew or Dominic Little and instantly flash cameras began going off, startling both men at the top table.

"Lieutenant Sloan? I'm Rachael Collins, San Francisco Chronicle, we had two murders locally which seem very much like your Red Rose Killer, do you think that he is working in more than one city?"

Steve nodded his head, his expression one of grave seriousness. "Yes, Ma'am, I do. But we have only begun getting information in from other locations over the last couple of days."

"Why is that, Lieutenant, don't you collaborate with other police forces?" Rachael Collins stood up to speak and Steve could tell that she was for some reason extremely angry.

"No, not as a rule, most crimes are committed in one location and dealt with by that division. It is only when we have this type of case that we send the details through to other forces." Steve watched her sit down and knew that his answer hadn't satisfied her at all.

Several other journalists had wanted to get more information on what type of liaison was taking place between the LAPD and the other police forces in the state, and Steve had tried to give as much detail as he could without overstepping the bounds of his remit. The meeting broke up just after that and Steve made his way down onto the floor of the room so that he could find Rachael Collins. It wasn't hard; she was sitting, her notebook on her lap and an expression that was a cross between fury and devastation on her face.

"Miss Collins, may I speak with you?

"Lieutenant, I have to get my report in to my editor in an hour an a half, I'm not likely to make the front page, but I would actually like to make the paper."

"Ma'am, would you please come up to my office, I really think we need to discuss this a little further?" He indicated with his hand and she stood with a sigh and preceded him out of the room.

"There you go, one coffee with cream and sugar, now, like I said, I think we need to talk." Steve put his own drink down on the desk and then made himself comfortable. Many other Lieutenants in the city had their own office as a matter of course, and he knew Kojak had had one in the TV series he'd watched as a boy. He had never worried about it before, but he was finding that he liked the privacy it gave him.

"I don't really know why you feel that way, Lieutenant."

"Please, Miss Collins, it's Steve, and you weren't just asking questions because you are a journalist, there was more to it than that, somehow, I don't know how exactly, but I know I am right."

"Did you ever consider becoming a cop, Lieutenant?" Rachael smiled for a moment but the sadness soon returned.

"So, maybe I can help you, or put your mind at rest, if you'll let me."

Rachael paused for a long moment and Steve wondered whether she was going to speak or not. "My sister was the first victim in San Francisco, she was a beautiful girl, younger than me, she lived at home with our parents, told them where she was going, she did all that you suggested, Steve, and still she didn't come home." Rachael turned away, her eyes filling with tears as she did so.

"What was your sister's name?"

"Tanisha, Tanisha Collins, and she was just nineteen years old. She'd graduated high school and was waiting to go to college; she wanted to be a lawyer to work in one of the legal aid association places, to help people who couldn't afford their own counsel. And all that is just gone, gone, and when we saw her … when …" She stopped talking, this time the tears had taken her over and for a few minutes Rachael Collins sat in Steve's office and sobbed.

"I'm sorry; it's been over a year, I should be past this stage by now, right?" She rubbed at her eyes, and then smiled gratefully as Steve passed her a Kleenex.

"No, not necessarily, you have no closure, the guy who did this to your sister is still out there, I don't think you will feel anywhere near at peace again until we get him, and we will, get him I mean."

"You really believe that, don't you?" Rachael looked up at him, she noticed the kind blue eyes coupled with the determined look on his face, and knew the answer before he spoke.

"Yes, yes I do, I have no doubt that we will get him, I just don't know when. Rachael, is there anything you can tell me, anything at all, that might help me get closer to this guy? You were saying something about when you saw her." Steve didn't want to upset her any further, but she had begun to open up and he needed all the help he could get.

Rachael took a deep breath in before speaking. "That is the hardest bit, she … she, first of all I didn't think it was her, y'know, she … she just looked so different."

"In what way? How did she look different?" Steve wasn't sure he understood, but whatever it was it had haunted this young woman ever since.

"Her hair, it was her hair … I'd never seen … I'd never seen her without her hair, she was so proud of her hair." Rachael rushed out the words and Steve nodded not wanting to interrupt her. "How could he do that? He killed her, took her life away and then he … he made her look …" She trailed off, even after all this time Rachael couldn't put into words what the lack of hair had done to her sister.

"The picture I received from the SFPD this morning showed her hair, she was a beautiful woman, I am so sorry."

"Yeah, I think you really are. Steve, how do you stop this happening? She did everything that you said to do. She didn't even go out with the guy in the evening, they went out in the day time when there were lots of people about, and she still got killed."

"Did she tell you the name of the man she dated?" Steve tried not to look expectant, but if he could get a link, or another link, between the two cities he would, work wise, be a lot happier. They still couldn't give out his name; the litigation it would cause if they were wrong was too horrendous to even contemplate.

"No, I guess that was an oversight, she just said that she had met him at a coffee shop and he had asked her out. They were going to go to The Palisades, do the tourist thing, and even though we have lived in San Francisco our whole lives, she was really excited about it. She took her cell phone with her, and she even called Mom while she was out, just to tell her what a great time she was having … we never heard from her again." Rachael had spoken rapidly, as if she had to get everything out before she ran out of breath, or time, or courage.

"Miss Collins, if you think of anything else, however small, please contact me, but I would hate for you to miss your deadline." Steve had glanced at his watch and seen that it was a quarter to five. "You know that you have more information than most journalists, probably all journalists, on this case, I wish the reason for that hadn't happened, but please, don't mention the hair in your article, no one except the cops, the victims' families and the killer know about it."

"Thank you, I hadn't realised the time, I haven't mentioned anything like that yet, and I won't, and, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Ma'am?" Steve had stood up as his companion had risen to her feet and he smiled at her.

"Don't ever lose your compassion, from what I've seen of cops lately, it sets you apart." Before he could reply Rachael had turned and left the room, leaving Steve to stand there, feeling both astonished and truly complimented.

ooo

Rae heard the sound of her childrens' laughter and stirred herself on the sofa, she rubbed her eyes and looked at her watch, it was after six in the evening. With an astonished gasp she extricated herself from the afghan and sat up, trying not to look as if she had slept the afternoon away.

"Well, I'm glad you're following your doctor's orders." Alex's voice made her jump slightly and she turned with a smile.

"Hi, I don't think I had much choice, I just needed to sleep, and I have, Alex, more in the last couple of days than in the last month or so, please, let me go to work tomorrow, I really am needed."

"Hmmm, you know the deal, you do as you are told, I check you over, and then we decide. Ok?"

Rae nodded, she knew that there was no way Alex would let her go back to work too soon, and however much she wanted to be there, she would do as he said.

Alex left two hours later, after he had accepted the offer to stay for dinner and to spend some time with his friends, it had been a very pleasant end to his day, and he began to realise that a wife to come home to would be very nice.

Rae had revelled in being part of a family again, and she could see that Jesse was enjoying himself too. She had been delighted when he had asked Alex to have dinner with them, knowing that it was something he would have done before. _Before_. Rae realised that she was already separating their lives into two halves, and she hoped that the half they were in now would carry on getting better and better.


	33. Starting Small

**Chapter 33 Starting Small**

For a long while, after Steve had left them, Jo and Daniel just sat, exchanging the odd word, wanting to be together rather than do anything else. The early evening world outside turned dark and still they sat; needing each other more than either of them could explain. After they had finished the hot chocolate and cookies that Michael had brought to them Jo had quietly and calmly explained the connection between herself and Wayne. Her son's anger had been genuine and his hate for the man gratifying to Jo although she was also a little worried about it.

"Honey, I know that you only want to protect me, but there is no way that you can fight, not this guy, not the system, you have to make your way the best you can in this world an' know, in your heart, that everythin' you have you got honestly. If you can't do that, well then you're not a happy person, no matter what you might think. An' at the end of the day, when everythin' we have done an' not done is added up, money doesn't mean a darn thing."

"But how could he do that to you?" Daniel shook his head, he loved his mom very much and the thought of anyone hurting her in any way made him want to punch their lights out. "And then to come back all these years later and think he can just walk back into your life, what a loser!"

"Yes, he is, he lost me, looks like he lost his job, he certainly lost his wife an' kids, but I didn't, I found your dad, an' then together we found you, I know who I would rather be." Jo smiled and took the boy's hand in her own, the warmth of it making her feel incredibly lucky all over again.

"I guess I had better go and do my homework, will you be alright on your own?" Daniel went to stand up but Jo tightened her grasp and held him back.

"How did your day go? I thought I heard you say you got an A from Ms Burns."

"Yeah, I did, it wasn't that hard, the work I mean, and I did as you said and apologized to her again at the beginning of the lesson." Daniel had received a very short but sharp lecture before leaving for school that morning and he had made sure that he didn't annoy his parents any more by doing just as they said.

"What you said to Francine, it wasn't nice, you didn't like what Wayne did to me, but he didn't become a sexist pig overnight, he would have started small, maybe with rude comments to female classmates." Jo paused, knowing that her words would take a moment to sink in.

"No, Mom, I wasn't … I didn't want to … I was, wasn't I?" Daniel was horrified to feel his eyes fill with tears. He hadn't meant any harm by what he'd said, but now he could see it in a different light.

"Yes, Honey, you were, although I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. But think for a minute, how would you have felt if Francine an' her friends had been discussin' you in that way an' loud enough for you to hear?"

Daniel didn't answer; he knew that his mom already knew what he would say.

"I still don't understand why you would act like that, you have never been in trouble at that school before, why start now?" Jo didn't know why, but Daniel's face clouded over, and he looked away. "Daniel?"

"I don't want to talk about it any more, ok? I have homework to do, and I promised Maddie I'd call her tonight … Please, may I go?"

"Yes, if you want to, but Daniel, I meant what I said earlier, you made me feel very safe an' very loved, an' I love you too, Son."

"Thanks." Daniel stood up and left the room, his emotions suddenly in turmoil and, although he couldn't explain it to his mom, he knew they meant trouble for him.

ooo

"Will you be alright tomorrow, working I mean?" Jesse was sitting at the dining table reading the newspaper, but he looked up as he spoke.

"I have to be, Jess, I can't afford to have any more time off, not right now." Rae was sitting on the sofa, a pile of folders on a small table next to her.

"I know, and I saw what you're up against last night at Steve's, I didn't ask then, but don't you have enough to get this guy in, at least to question him?"

"Oh yeah, no doubt about it, but we have no idea where he is, we don't even know for sure who he is. I've tried all the usual things, so has Steve, he just doesn't seem to exist."

"But he's a hairdresser, can't you check them?"

"Jesse, do you have any idea how many hairdressers there are in LA? He could work for himself, he could be part of a salon that pays cash and doesn't notify the authorities who they have working for them, he could be an illegal immigrant, he …"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture, jeez; I only asked a simple question!" Jesse held his hands up in surrender and laughed.

"Sorry, Jesse, my time on this case and the one with the Chief has been so messed up that I'm kind of defensive about it. I apologize."

"Because I wasn't here to help out, to share things, Rae, I am so sorry." Jesse looked down at his hands, not knowing what else to say.

"Jesse, don't, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." Rae got up from where she was sitting on the sofa and made her way towards the French doors out into the garden. They were dancing round each other, both of them scared of saying something that the other could take offence at, she didn't like it, but she also didn't know how to stop it.

ooo

It was dark when Dominic arrived back at his apartment, let himself in and collapsed into a heap on the sofa. The entire journey from San Francisco to Los Angeles he had felt that he was running, running away from Lucy and what she could still do to him. There had been an internet café in the concourse at LAX and he had made a quick trip in there to send an email back to the hotel, hoping it sounded like her as 'she' told them how great a time she was having and how she had just popped into the café before catching a plane to Rome. Dominic had decided that should settle their hash, the meddlesome receptionist as well as any cops who might be nosing around at least until the body was found.

For a few minutes he caught his breath, enjoying being back where he felt the safest, where his life was just as he wanted it to be. Dominic knew that he would have to quit working at the salon, it wasn't sensible to go there any more, he could be traced through the hairdressing competition, luckily he had never given this address to his boss so he was fine here. It might well be a different matter, though, for the people who had moved into his old place.

Slowly he got to his feet and grabbed the overnight bag from the floor, reveling in the anticipation that just that simple action caused him. He went straight to his own bedroom, placed the bag on the bed and unzipped it. The first thing that he pulled from the case was the hair, long, beautifully long, and so soft and silky. Dominic held it to his face and breathed in her scent, he could feel the grittiness of the sand alongside the natural smoothness of the hair and that excited him so much that, for a while, he was lost to all but his own feelings and sensations.

Gradually though, Dominic returned to the ritualistic routine he had to follow. He carefully laid the hair to one side and looked at the clothes he had taken off her. The weather had been cool and Lucy had worn a soft rose coloured dress with a white shawl over her shoulders. She had also worn a pair of white strappy sandals, which she had removed when they went down on to the beach. Dominic had been amazed and very aroused when he found out that Lucy was wearing nothing underneath her dress, she had peeled it off her wonderfully lithe body and he had, quite literally, devoured her.

ooo

Jesse had watched as Rae went out into the garden, feeling the rush of cooler air as the doors were opened. Now that he was here, home, where he knew he belonged, Jesse was finding it hard to take the next step in the journey, which had started in the front yard the previous day. He wanted to get up, follow his wife outside, take her into his arms and tell her that everything would be ok, but he couldn't even get out of his chair. With a half sob he rested his head on the table, his heart breaking for the things he could no longer do, and then, just when he needed her the most, she was there, her voice soft and tender, her hands even more so, and he was amazed to find that although he couldn't hold her he found that he could be held and he fell into her arms.

"Shhh, it's ok, it's ok." Rae put her arm around Jesse, gently helped him to his feet and guided him over to the sofa, hoping that he would be able to cope once again with being so close to her. Carefully she sat down so that he was still cradled in her arms and then she held him to her and let him cry.

ooo

Steve had found that he couldn't settle to anything, he made himself coffee, he looked at the map, made notes, screwed them up and threw them away, looked at the map some more, but the entire time he was thinking about his wife, and how horrified she had been, how his son had felt the need to protect his mother in their own home, and he knew he couldn't stay away any longer. Taking up the folders he had brought back into the station with him he emptied his coffee cup and was making his way towards the door when his phone rang. With a deep sigh he returned to his desk, put all the paperwork back down again and picked up the receiver.

"Sloan." Steve listened as Detective Emile Consadine from San Francisco filled him in on the details of another body which had been found on the beach there, and once the call ended he sat trying to work out another mystery, why had their killer suddenly returned to one of his previous haunts, had he moved on permanently, or would he return to LA? Steve held the piece of paper with the sketchy details of the latest crime on it. There wasn't much to go on, not yet at any rate. The victim was still a Jane Doe, she had been found on the beach, hidden behind some bushes, naked, violated and very dead. Steve put another pushpin into his map of California, and his heart grew a little heavier. Thirteen bodies, all of them young women with their whole lives before them who had been violently and viciously killed. He added the new information to the files he had collected together earlier and then, without a backward glance, he left the office and headed for home.

ooo

Jesse had sobbed in his wife's arms for a long time; he had no idea how long, but as each minute passed he felt a little more like himself. Rae said nothing, she occasionally rubbed gentle circles on his back, but most of the time she just held him and let him free his emotions.

"Rae, will you help me?" He looked up at his wife, he couldn't believe that he had shut her out of his life, and now he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to find his place back with her again.

"Yes, of course I will, but …" Rae paused for a moment, not sure if she should continue.

"But what? I'm still so scared, please, Rae." Jesse was suddenly terrified that Rae was going to turn her back on him.

"Jesse, you told me that you wished you never met me, that your life was better before I came along," Rae closed her eyes for a moment, but the picture that came up in her mind made her speak again, "I saw you kiss another woman, and then the two of you had dinner, I need to know … I need to know if you are gonna leave me for her." Jesse had sat up and so Rae got off the sofa and moved over towards the French doors once more, needing to look out even though it was dark.

Not knowing what to do Jesse sat and watched her, Rae had her hands clasped in front of her and was slowly wringing them, he knew that she couldn't make eye contact with him, and he also knew that whatever it was he wanted to say he needed to get it right first time.

"Rae, I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't," Rae turned as he spoke, "but you did, you can't take it back, and you meant it, really meant it, didn't you?"

Jesse nodded his head, "Yeah, I did, at the time, but now I don't, I wish I could take it back, take all of the bad things back, but you're right, I can't do that."

Rae moved over, knelt down in front of her husband and took both his hands into her own. "Jesse, look at me." She waited while Jesse composed himself and looked into her eyes. "I have never hidden who I am or what I do, not from you or anyone else. I also never hid from you the fact that my life was always better with you in it. I'm sorry that you were involved in things that got you hurt or frightened, but there is no way I will take the blame for them."

"I know, but what you do, that was what caused all the problems, and looking at you, well, it made everything come back, all the time." Jesse tried to move his hands but Rae wouldn't let go.

"Everything, as in everything bad?" Again Jesse nodded and Rae, seeing a glimmer of light continued. "You saw me and you remembered all the awful things that happened, when Levington had you, when Werner took you and Texas, Jesse, they weren't my fault, I swear; I would have done everything in my power to keep you out of harm's way, I never wanted you to get hurt."

"I … I realize that, but don't you see, they told me … both of them … told me that if I let other people know what … what … happened then those that I … loved would be harmed. And, just like they said … just like they said it … it ha … hap …" Jesse couldn't continue, he didn't know if he could explain his deepest fears to Rae, he knew that she could help him, but he still wasn't convinced that if he did share with her that all the bad things wouldn't happen again.

"Jesse, please, tell me, tell me what they said." Rae looked at his face, the handsome, usually smiling face that she loved, right now it was haunted, and she knew that if he couldn't share his fear with her then it may start to overwhelm him again.

ooo

The knock on the door shocked Dominic, he hadn't told anyone that he would be coming back early, and he didn't encourage visitors anyway. Carefully putting Lucy's dress down on the bed he left the room, making sure to close the door behind him. Then he went and peered through the peephole.

"Matthew, are you in there?" Albert Hardy, the caretaker was just putting one of his own keys into the lock when Dominic opened the door.

"Hi."

"Hi, who are you? No, wait, you're young Matthew's friend, Dom … Dominic, that's right, what are you doing here? Matthew's out of town." Dominic watched as the older man eyed him suspiciously.

"I know, but he said I could crash here while he was away, man. Guess he didn't tell you, huh?"

"Nope, not a word, but then, I'm not surprised. Well, make sure you don't trash the place. Know when he's coming back?" Albert looked the younger man up and down; there was something familiar about him, something that he knew he should recognize. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Who me? No, don't think so." Dominic became instantly wary, "look, I'm sorry, but I'm … I'm cooking, I have to go." He moved to close the door but Albert put his foot in the way.

"I'm sure you'll let me know when Matthew is coming back, right?"

"Yeah, right." Dominic pushed the door harder, but Albert had removed his obstruction and it slammed in his face.

Dominic turned and leant back against the wood. He needed to get out, to go meet people, to get his life back on track in his own town, where he was in control.

ooo

Steve had arrived home having sat in traffic for over an hour. He was hungry, tired and he knew he was sweaty and unpleasant to be around too. The atmosphere of his home was a little tense and he wasn't sure if he had caused it or not.

Jo had come out into the hallway to greet him but wrinkled her nose when she hugged him. "Oooh, Honey, I think you had a rough day. Maybe a shower would be a good idea."

"Yeah, I guess, but are you ok? He didn't come back did he?" Steve looked at her; to his eyes she still looked strained and worried.

"No, no, he didn't even call, I'm sorry, I just … it scared me, ok? An' I don't like to be scared in my own home."

"I know, I know, and I am so sorry it happened, unless we increase our security even more we can't stop him coming to the door but Michael won't let him in again, you can count on that."

"Yeah I guess you're right." She had moved closer into her husband's arms, and was enjoying his closeness, even though he smelt of the city. "I talked to Daniel, to try to get him to see that what he said at school was wrong, but I don't know that it made any difference." Jo looked down, and felt Steve run his fingers through her hair, and kiss the top of her head.

"Want me to speak with him?" Steve felt his hand move as Jo nodded her head.

"Did you tell him about Wayne?" His hand moved again and he smiled. "I guess we don't need words, huh?" This time her head went from side to side and he laughed. "I love you, and now I'm going to go have a shower and talk to Daniel, is that ok?" His hand nodded again and he disentangled his fingers from her hair and moved towards the stairs.

The sound of music escaping from a set of headphones reached Steve as he climbed the final step and he walked towards his son's room. He knocked but didn't wait for a reply knowing that Daniel would have no idea that he was there. Considering the state the bedroom was usually in Steve was pleasantly surprised at its condition, and he made his way across it without any danger to life or limb.

"Dad. Hi." Daniel heard a movement and turned round, a smile breaking out across his face as he realized who it was.

"Hi, Son. How's it going?" Steve sat himself down on the side of the bed, which, he noticed with a smile, wasn't made, but then he guessed you couldn't have everything.

"Not bad, I've done my math homework, and now I'm struggling with Spanish, but Ms Beatty said she would help me if I got stuck. I know a lot of people speak the language, but do I have to be one of them?"

"Oh yeah, there are days when I wish I had a Ms Beatty around to help me with some basic Spanish, or a Ms Burns when I'm doing my expenses." Steve smiled, he wasn't kidding, especially about the math.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?" Steve could tell that his son had something he wanted to say and so he let the silence do its job.

"That guy, Wayne, did you want to hit him when you found out what he did to Mom?" The look of concern on Daniel's face made Steve consider fudging his answer but in the end he decided that honesty was always the best policy.

"Yes, I did, but it wouldn't have done anyone any good, least of all your mom, or me. Violence is never the answer, oh I know sometimes it makes you feel real good to belt someone, but you'll get into trouble, get a reputation, it's just not worth it. My life would be a lot easier if people kept their tempers!"

Daniel was silent again for a moment. "I guess it would. Dad, do you think that Wayne started off making sexist comments in class?"

Steve wasn't sure where his son got the idea from but he could see no harm in going with it. "He could have. No one starts off by committing serious crime, ok, maybe no one is pushing it a bit far, there are always exceptions to every rule, but most people have a background that leads up to what they are doing right now, whether that's good or bad. If you learn from what you did, tell yourself that you won't ever do it again, then hopefully as you get older you will remember this time and keep the promises you made to yourself."

"It was just a joke, I didn't mean any harm by it, I was just messing around." Daniel sounded defensive, and Steve knew that he would have given his own dad the same argument.

"Look at it this way, there's a fifty-fifty chance that the baby your mom's carrying will be a girl, how would you like someone to speak that way to her, or to Eliana or Anneya? There is no way it should be considered appropriate, you were wrong, Son, and you need to accept that, apologize and move on."

"I know, and I have, apologized I mean, to Ms Burns and Francine."

"Good, now I need to get the city out of my hair so I'm gonna have a shower and see what Michael has left me for dinner."

"I'll see you later then. _Adiós, Pap_."

"Oh, very good, _adiós, hijo_."

"I'm impressed, but I can't say that in Spanish." Daniel laughed and Steve joined in before closing the door and heading for his own room. As he watched his dad depart a frown crossed Daniel's face and he looked down at his hands. His dad was such a great guy and he enjoyed just being with him, but he knew that sooner or later he was gonna blow it, would say or do something to spoil it, just as he had always done in the past. Maybe it would be better for all of them if it was now, at least it would be over with.

ooo

As Rae began to ask Jesse what he had been told a high pitched wail emanated from the baby alarm and Rae rushed to the stairs hoping to get to her youngest daughter before she woke her sister.

Rae wanted to begin exploring what Jesse had said about seeing her and then all the bad things, and also how those who'd taken him had, in his eyes, foreseen his future, but other events took over.

Anneya had started to show signs of returning slowly to her normal routine, she was sleeping less, eating more and spending more time with both her family and Sally. Unfortunately this also meant that she was spending more time in her silent world and her frustrations were beginning to come out in screaming fits, temper tantrums and a tendency to cling and want to be with an adult at all times.

Eliana was stirring as Rae entered the nursery and she was relieved to realize that Jesse had followed her up. He moved straight over to their eldest child and began to make soothing noises. Rae took Anneya into her arms and left the room.

Rae had bought a small refrigerator and installed it in her bedroom. Inside it was baby juice, which she could put into a bottle in the hope that it would send her little girl back to sleep. Each evening when Rae put Anneya down she took a drink out for her so that it wouldn't be too cold should she wake. Rae knew that there was a chance the drink would become a habit, but if it meant that Anneya was happier then she didn't mind.

The juice was soon all drunk and Rae gently rocked her daughter back and forth hoping that the repetitive movements would send her back to the land of sleep. For a moment Rae wondered whether Anneya still heard sounds in her dreams, but she knew it was something she would probably never have an answer to and so she dismissed it as quickly as she had thought of it in the first place. Gradually Rae watched as her little girl's eyelids closed, and then the breathing evened out again into the deep rhythmical breaths that showed her she was asleep. Carefully Rae stood up and went back to the nursery, Jesse wasn't there and Eliana was fast asleep so she laid Anneya down too and headed back downstairs.

ooo

Friday dawned bright and warm, but Jo rolled over in bed and snuggled up to her husband not wanting him to get up now that the alarm had sounded.

He had the wonderful warm and soft feeling of someone who had just awoken after a long sleep and she drank in the sight and smells of him as she lay in his arms.

"Doesn't the actin' captain get to stay in bed a little longer than all his subjects?" Jo looked up into his clear blue eyes and saw them wrinkle up into a smile.

"Nope, unfortunately the subjects would revolt, and as two of them are Rae and Cheryl I'm not prepared to face the consequences!" He kissed her gently on the lips and then began to climb out of bed, leaving the covers in a heap by the footboard.

"Chicken!" Jo laughed as her husband, wearing very little other than a smile, began to impersonate the bird on his way to the shower room.

Thirty minutes later Jo, Steve and Daniel were sitting waiting for their breakfast when the phone rang in the hallway. Michael had been on his way into the morning room with the toast and so Daniel got up and took it from him so the butler could answer the phone.

"Good morning, Sloan residence … speaking … yes, that's right … oh, I see … yes, yes, I quite understand …" Michael kept on speaking and listening and, as they ate their breakfast, Steve and Jo knew that the news, whatever it was, wasn't good.

"Madam, Sir, if I might have a word with you when you have completed your breakfast?" Michael had finished his call and looked his usual calm unflappable self, but all of them knew that there was something wrong, and Jo nodded her head in agreement.

"You don't need to wait, now is just fine."

"Very good, Madam, thank you. That was my brother on the phone, Madam, it appears that my mother has suffered a stroke and is seriously ill. I am led to believe that she is unlikely to survive much longer than maybe a week, and so I was wondering …"

"Go, take all the time you need, an' don't come back until you are good an' ready." Jo had stood up as soon as Michael had mentioned his mother. "The plane is just sittin' at the airport gatherin' dust, I'll put a call through an' have it fueled up an' waitin' for you."

"That isn't necessary, Madam, I can get a scheduled flight to London quite easily."

"Nonsense, I won't hear of it, now go, scoot an' pack a bag, an' remember, don't come back until you are ready."

"Thank you, Madam, you are very generous." Michael looked a little overcome by the situation as if he wasn't sure what to do next.

"I have an appointment with Gilbert this mornin' so I will run Daniel to school, I'll take you to the airport an' then go on an' see Mr. Sholte. An' don't even try to argue yourself out of that one." Jo had her hands on her hips and a half smile on her face. Michael nodded his acquiescence and made his way towards his own quarters.

"I don't think I ever thought about M having a family." Daniel shook his head before taking a mouthful of his toast.

"To be honest neither did I." Steve smiled but he felt badly for the Englishman. He had lost his own mom far too early in his life, but at least he had been around to help care for her, to sit and talk with her, and to say goodbye, he hoped that Michael wouldn't be denied the chance to do the same things.

ooo

Rae stood in the shower just after seven thirty and tried to get her mind into work mode. She hadn't spoken very much with Jesse after Anneya had woken the night before, at least not about anything vital. They had discussed how the day would go on the Friday and it had been decided that Jesse would take Eliana to school and Anneya to Sally's as he wasn't starting until nine and Rae wanted to get in as early as possible.

Jesse was still asleep in one of the guest rooms, and there was no noise from the nursery so Rae made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She had dressed for comfort more than style and hoped that she wouldn't be called anywhere she needed to be smart and enthusiastic.

The house was still silent as she wrote a note for her husband and then quietly stole out of the front door and over to her car. She was still using a pool vehicle, and every time she saw it she wanted to get rid of it, but it took time to buy a new car, and that was something she didn't have a lot of right now.

Rae drew out into the traffic at the end of her road and slowed to a halt in a line of cars waiting at a red light. As she looked around her she tried to work out in what order she would organize her day. Rae had to admit she had been surprised that the Chief hadn't contacted her, he had been insistent that she follow through on his wife's case, and she hadn't done anything with it since. Rae had decided that a call to Barbados as soon as she got to the station would probably be a good thing; she could then let the Chief know whether or not his son was still on vacation, and if he wasn't then she and Steve could travel up to Santa Barbara, either over the weekend or on the Monday.

The traffic was reasonably heavy but it seemed to keep moving and before Rae really knew it she was parking her car and walking into the station. Alison was on the desk and Rae smiled and waved as she passed by, then she ran up the stairs, trying not to remember that she had almost collapsed on them the last time she was at work. She made herself a cup of herbal tea and grabbed her mail out of the tray on her desk and began to go through it.

There was nothing very exciting and a little over ten minutes after she started her first task of the day Rae had completed the job and was reading through the information on Callum Edwards to find the hotel telephone number in Barbados.

ooo

Matthew was surprised to find himself waking up in his apartment, it had been a while since he remembered being in control and now he wasn't sure if he wanted to even exist any more. He had always been the voice of reason, the calming influence, not because he was strong and brave but because he was a total coward. He had, on a couple of occasions, managed to pull Dominic away from a potential victim, had pointed out, somehow, that she was too short, too tall, too something, so that his alter ego lost interest, but last night, last night had been different, it had been too soon, too quickly after Lucy, the rituals hadn't even been completed and Dominic had killed again. There had never been a set time between kills, they had gone out when the mood took them, and he had hidden inside of Dominic and let him get on with it, for the most part not even knowing what happened. But last night had been different, the whole thing had made him disappear even deeper inside, but still he knew exactly what had transpired, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before he never came out again.


	34. Business as Usual

**Chapter 34 Business as Usual**

"Good morning, Margaret, is he in?" Rae had finished her phone call and, armed with the information she had discovered, made her way to Chief Masters' office right away.

"No, he's not; he's on vacation right now." Margaret smiled; she liked Reagan Yeager, and was glad to finally be able to actually tell someone where her boss was.

"You're kidding? Vacation? I've been here, what, five years? He's never even had a day off sick." Rae shook her head; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I guess I'll just have to wait until he gets back, I hope he's having a good time, I'll see you later." Rae made her way towards the door, turning her head slightly to ask a final question. "Where did he go by the way, somewhere nice?"

"Barbados."

Rae stopped walking and turned to face the secretary. "I beg your pardon?"

"Barbados, he said I wasn't to tell anyone else, but if you asked, he's gone to Barbados."

"Oh, I don't believe it, stupid, stupid, man." Rae knew that Margaret, just as she had done in the past, would know pretty much all of what was going on in her boss's life and so she didn't censure what she said.

"I didn't try to stop him, it wouldn't have done any good, and before you ask, yes, I know who Elizabeth Masters really was."

"I figured as much, Margaret, what sort of mood was he in before he left … oh my, did he say where he was staying?" Rae suddenly had an awful thought.

"Yes, he said he was booked in to the Palm Trees Beach Club and I would have to say he was pretty despondent." Margaret shook her head; she had actually been quite worried about her boss, her concern increasing as the case continued. "You can contact him on his cell, I have the number right here." The piece of paper had been inside the office diary since the Chief had given it to her and she was glad to pass it over.

"Um, thanks, do you think I could go into his office and ring from there?" Rae wasn't sure she wanted to make this call from the squad room.

"Of course, would you like an herbal tea while you make the call? The kettle's hot." Margaret still kept a box of the special tea bags in her own office for when Rae came to visit.

"That would be lovely, just come in when it's made, you know most of what is going on, and I know he trusts you." Rae made her way into the Chief's office and sat down at the desk; as she did so she noticed a picture that she hadn't seen before and carefully picked it up. There was no doubt in her mind that the two very young people in the photo were John Masters' children, and for a moment she paused, the pain that she knew he was feeling seemingly radiating out from the faces of the little boy and baby girl. The door to the room opened before she had done anything else and Rae hurriedly put the frame back on the desk but Margaret had seen what she was looking at.

"That just arrived a week or so before he left, I don't know who they are, but I know that there is no way he can talk about them." Margaret looked pained, and Rae was suddenly glad that she was his secretary and so obviously liked him.

"To be honest I don't think that there is anyone else he would tell apart from you, I do know but I can't tell, and I wouldn't. Don't ask him, it's very sad."

"I thought as much. When you've finished your call let me know, I'll be at my desk, somehow the fact that Chief Masters isn't here doesn't seem to have reduced my workload."

"It never seems to go that way, does it? Thanks for the tea." Rae took a sip and then waited until the other woman had left the room before picking up the phone.

ooo

Matthew sat at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and tried to get his mind in order. It had never been an easy task being him, he knew that he was the weak link, the personality who dealt with the janitor or the store clerk because they tended to feel sorry for him, but gradually he had felt himself becoming more and more a part of Dominic instead of an individual in his own right. He didn't feel comfortable being Dominic, the clothes were different, the way he behaved, even the words he used, the way he stood, walked, he guessed that compared to Dominic he was an uneducated slob.

He wasn't sure when he realised that the blood, the odd clothes and memories were due to Dominic killing people, but he remembered a young woman in a barbeque restaurant, she had been pretty, bouncy and cheerful. He knew he had seen her again, only this time she had been lying in the grass, her cheerfulness all used up and there had been the blood, always such a lot of blood, and he had known, known that he was a part of what caused it.

The kitchen table had a drawer under it and Matthew pulled it open; inside was his notebook, the one with the red cover, the one in which he wrote down all his memories, all his fears and problems, the one he had never read through since he started it, he took it out, laid it down in front of him and opened it.

_'The blood was there again, I got rid of it, but it scares me, I know it comes from something bad, but I don't know what. I burnt the shirt, but that was wrong too, I got into trouble. I wish we were still in San Francisco or New York, that way I could go talk to someone, but here, there is no one here.'_

Matthew flicked through the pages, some of them were beautifully neat, just as the first one had been, but others were more uneven, printed instead of cursive, sometimes words were in capitals other times they weren't and he knew that as his writing had deteriorated so his anxiety had increased.

'**I know I have seen her before, she was dead when I saw HER TODAY, but before she wasn't, she was alive, she was happy, DOMINIC it must be him, just as I know it isn't me, I know it must be him. Things are coming To me, things I HAD pushed so far AwaY that I didn't DIDN'T EVER have to think about them again, I SEE FACES, well, one face in particular, I don't know who she is and I don't want to, BUT SHE keeps coming to me in my dreams and she blames me FOR SOMEthing.'**

Matthew had to read the words through twice, he didn't even remember writing it, and the dream, it was familiar, but still he didn't know who she was, just that she was the one responsible for the routine, for the things that Dominic did, the terrible, terrible things that resulted in girls dying, and he wished that he could vanish, could disappear into Dominic and not have to face the consequences of his actions.

ooo

Rae's desk was empty when Steve walked into the squad room and for a moment he wondered whether maybe she hadn't made it in after all, but then he saw open mail on her blotter and an empty cup next to it and he knew that he had his partner back.

There was a message on his own desk to say that the captain had been delayed and wouldn't actually be back in until the Monday morning. Steve realised with a sinking heart that not only would he need to tidy up the room and change the desk back to how it was, but that he had, in the short time he'd been in here, actually enjoyed being the desk bound cop he always vowed he would never become.

The mail was light and he had finished with all of it by the time he saw Rae come back into the room, notice his presence, and walk towards him with a strange expression on her face.

"Hi, what's wrong?" Steve looked at his partner, she didn't look anywhere near as tired and exhausted as she had done, but she did look … well, to be honest he wasn't sure quite how she looked.

"The Chief is on vacation." Rae folded her arms and waited for a reaction.

"What?"

"The Chief is on vacation, and it gets better."

"He's not coming back?"

"Steve!" She pretended to be shocked but his comment made her smile, she ran her fingers through her hair and sat in the offered chair before continuing. "He's in Barbados."

Steve didn't answer he had no words that fitted the situation and he realised that he probably had the same look on his face as Rae did.

"Anyhow, I would imagine he will be back in the office on Monday."

"Why's that? Steve had a feeling that if he had ever had any real presence in this conversation it had all but disappeared.

"Because Callum Edwards and his family are returning on Sunday morning so, as he is staying at the same place as them, I'm guessing he will either be on the their flight or the next one."

Steve had no idea how to reply to that piece of information and so he just shook his head and said the first thing he thought of. "I need a coffee."

ooo

Leonid knew that something had woken him the night before, or it might have been early this morning, he had thought about going to investigate right away but he also knew that most things dumped near where he slept would still be there the next day, and the next, and the day after that, for as long as it took to either decompose or be taken by someone less fussy than the person who left it in the first place.

The tunnel that he slept in had a six-lane highway running over it, but it never bothered him unless there was an accident on it, and that had only happened once. Last night however, was one of the many that he had been disturbed and Leonid was considering moving on to another location.

Now though, he made his way out into the late morning sunshine and towards where he thought the noise had come from. The embankment down from the road was fairly steep and most things that were either thrown from moving cars or heaved over the barrier ended up down on his level. He had a dog, a funny, wiry little animal; he had gotten that when it had been sent flying towards him from a vehicle that hadn't stopped. He'd called him Bounce, because that's what he'd had to do, all the way down to land whimpering just a little way away from where Leonid and another guy had been downing a bottle of cheap vodka.

Leonid felt Bounce's clothesline leash pull in his hand and he let him have his head as he led him over to where last night's flotsam had landed. Ten minutes later, after relieving himself of his breakfast Leonid was moving as fast as he could towards the pay phone at the end of the street, knowing that what he had found, unlike his dog, would never bounce again.

ooo

Jo had waved Michael off at the airport with an extremely heavy heart. She had remembered, just as they climbed into the car, that Little Miss Prissy Knickers was coming for her visit on the Sunday and now she would be without her one ally against the dreaded almost sister-in-law.

Gilbert Sholte had been sitting in his crowded office smiling benevolently as Jo entered, and he had risen to his feet. "Mrs Sloan, my dear, how are you today? I haven't seen you since I heard your wonderful news, wonderful, just wonderful; your grandmamma would be so pleased."

Jo smiled and enjoyed the hug and kiss she got from her old friend. They were more than lawyer and client; they had known each other for many, many years, and Jo could remember his father too, who had represented her grandmamma.

"I think she would, I know she suffered so when I lost David, but this time it's different y'know, nothin' is like it was back then, an' even though I'm scared I'm excited at the same time." Although she didn't know it Jo's eyes were shining and Gilbert believed every word she said.

"Sit down, sit down, I don't want that husband of yours coming to arrest me for keeping you on your feet too long." Gilbert chuckled, and Jo joined in politely, she was used to her lawyer's comments about Steve, but the next one made her laugh aloud. "Although I'm sure that Catherine would be all of a flutter if he came to the office again." Catherine was, Jo thought, ninety if she was a day, and had been Gilbert's secretary forever, and had worked for his daddy before him. "Now," Gilbert grew serious, "I have drawn up all the paperwork that you requested and I must say the figures and details you e-mailed me were a great help."

"Good, I'm glad, I know that I asked you to do this in double quick time, but that poor chil', I just want to do something, an' not have them turn me down."

"Yes, quite, I understand that. Well, you can take it all with you today, and once the papers are signed then the transfer will be done. I will get in touch with Mallard and Fox to let them know that gift tax will be due before the end of the financial year."

"Gilbert, thank you. I have other things for you here." Jo reached into her purse and took out a folder with neatly typed pages of facts and figures. "I want to get paperwork ready for when the baby is born, an' I know that most people don't do these things when they are only in their first trimester, but I am tryin' to be real positive about this an' that is why I have done it. Also, the final papers came through from Daniel's adoption an' they are here. I know he is mentioned in Steve's will an' mine, but now he is our son legally I want it changed a little bit again."

"Of course, that is no problem either, here are all your documents, and I hope that I will see you again soon."

Jo got up and smiled at the gentleman the other side of the desk then, once they had said their goodbyes, she left him, and found she was already excited by what she had done.

ooo

Rae had just been leaving Steve's office to get the paperwork on Callum Edwards up to date when her phone began to ring and she hurried towards her desk. "Detective Yeager." It was only two minutes before she put the phone down but her whole demeanor had changed. She visited with Steve again for a short while and then left the station.

ooo

Leonid had been waiting with Bounce it seemed forever. The black and white police car that had arrived a little while after he had made his call was parked just in front of his tunnel, but Leonid knew for certain now that last night would be the final time he slept there. His English wasn't very good, he had arrived from Russia twelve years before, at least he thought it was twelve, and for a while the land of the free had been good to him, he had worked on the docks, lived in a small but beautifully white apartment, he had even owned a TV and video recorder. But the job had gone, then his home, and now he lived on the street and wondered what would have happened if he had stayed in the mother country.

Another vehicle drew up behind the police car and a small woman with light brown shoulder length hair climbed out. Leonid could see that she was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a red top; he could also see a gun on her belt as well as a badge. She was small, pretty and he liked her immediately. He hoped that she would be as nice as she looked. He watched as she showed her ID before speaking.

"Hi, guys, let's see what we've got then." Rae's voice was tight, the phone call had been unwanted, Steve's absence from the crime scene even more so. She pulled on a pair of gloves as she followed one of the uniformed officers towards the steep embankment down from the highway she had just traveled along.

The body was scratched and bloody, it would have been bloody anyway but Rae had a feeling that the extra marks were from its journey down the hill. It was also female, naked and she could already see the marks on the soles of the feet. Carefully Rae crouched down; the woman was, as all of them had been, on her front, although this time that was purely by chance, her hair short and blonde, but there were some long hairs close by.

"I want a picture taken from here, showing the long hairs as well as the short on the head, ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am." The young officer hadn't ventured too near the body; he'd seen it once and that had been enough.

"I'll come back over when the scene of crime guys are here. Who found her?" Rae straightened up, peeled off the gloves as she ducked under the police tape and pushed them into the pockets on the back of her jeans.

"He's standing over there, funny guy, Leonid somebody or other, I couldn't even begin to pronounce it, dog's called Bounce though."

"Ok, thanks." Rae made her way over to where a fairly tall, dark haired man was standing. He looked like he hadn't seen clean water or a full meal for a long while and she smiled at him. "Hi, my name is Detective Reagan Yeager, how do you do?"

"I do well, my name is Leonid Shcherbakov I am pleased very much to meet you."

"Do you want to tell me what you found?" Rae pulled her notebook out of her jeans but then had a better idea. "Look, I tell you what, it's almost my lunch time, why don't we go someplace else, I can bring you back here later if you would like."

"Leonid not know … understand." Rae could tell that her witness, or at least body finder, was a little bemused.

"I am hungry, I need my lunch, but I need to hear what you have to say too, so we can go get something to eat and then come back here again."

This time he did understand and Leonid nodded his head. He was hungry, very hungry, and if he was lucky he might get a sandwich out of this.

ooo

The phone began ringing as Jo put her key in the front door. She quickly unlocked the house and dashed into the hallway but the noise stopped just before she touched the receiver. "Darn it, can't you see I am here already?" Jo snarled at the phone and picked it up to dial 69 and find out who it was she had just missed.

"Mr. Gillin'ham, I am as shocked as you are at this, we talked … yes, Sir, I reali … no, we don …" Jo gave up, she was obviously not permitted to complete a sentence and so she let the man finish before starting to speak again. "Do you want me to come an' get him …? No, I understand that … Yes, we did, both of us, together an' apart, but he just promised to behave an' we couldn't get any more out of him … Well, I realize you don't call this behavin' I am just repeatin' what we said to him … Yes, I see, well good day to you, Sir." Jo put the phone down and stood staring at it, knowing she should pick it up again, but not wanting to. In the end, after taking a deep breath, Jo grabbed the receiver and punched in the familiar number.

ooo

"They won't let Leonid in." He looked at the fancy restaurant that his companion had driven him to and as if in sympathy with him Bounce whimpered by his side.

"Yes they will, my husband part owns the place, but I'm afraid that Bounce will have to go out the back." Rae looked down at the wiry little terrier at her feet and smiled, then she crouched down. "But I'm sure that we can find you something nice to eat, huh?" She scratched the small dog behind his ear, his tail began to wag and he jumped up at her.

Rae opened the door, saw one of the waiters and indicated for him to come across. "Hi, Jeff, could you take this little guy out back and tie him up? Then maybe find him a good meal?"

"Sure, Mrs Travis, no problem." If Jeff was confused or at all puzzled by what she had just said he didn't show it, he took the piece of clothesline into his hand, walked the dog across the floor and took him out the fire escape at the rear of the place.

Leonid looked around and ran his hands self-consciously down his ragged clothes. Rae noticed and wondered whether she had made a mistake bringing him here, she knew that most other places would have refused him entry, but here, they wouldn't dare.

"You go and wash up in the men's room, and I'll meet you at the table, ok?"

"Yes, thank you." Leonid made a sort of bow before looking round for the little man sign that told him where to go.

Twenty minutes later they were both sitting with hamburgers in front of them, Rae because she didn't want to get barbeque sauce down her clothes and Leonid because it was the only word he was sure he recognized on the menu. They had decided that they would eat first and talk second but there had been some general conversation.

"Leonid busy man, work on ships, but work not busy, no job, no money." He had raised his hands in a gesture of no hope and Rae had felt for him.

"Do you have a trade? A set job that you did?"

"Yes, Leonid … sparks? In Russia, not here, here just do as told."

"Oh, so you did the lights, or electricity, that sort of thing?" Rae wondered why he hadn't tried to go into that type of business when he came to America, but she guessed that very few people had been given the breaks that she had.

"Yes, electric, with TV, people not buy, Leonid put them to work." He took another bite of his burger, the food was very good, and he didn't want it to go cold.

"Would you like another one to take away with you?" Rae smiled; she wasn't sure what his job entailed, but figured it probably didn't matter. The man wasn't as old as she had first thought; maybe thirty-five, forty at most, he was probably her age.

"Da, sorry, yes please, of course, if husband not mind."

"No, he won't mind, and if he was here he would be saying the same." Rae knew that sometimes these things happened, but not to her, however, no sooner had she spoken than the bell went over the door to Bob's and Jesse came in. "Excuse me, he just walked in, I won't be a moment." Rae smiled but Leonid looked confused. "My husband, he is that man there." She pointed towards the counter, and Jesse, somehow knowing he was being looked at, turned and his face broke into a spontaneous grin.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Jesse was surprised how pleased he was to see Rae and he moved towards her quite naturally, "and who's your friend?"

Leonid stood up, made his awkward little bow again and then spoke. "Leonid, Leonid Shcherbakov, I very much pleased to meet husband of Detective." He held out his hand, wondering if this incredibly American looking man would even touch it let alone shake it and was pleasantly surprised when he did just that.

"I'm pleased to meet you too, Rae, could I just have a word with you? If you don't mind?" Jesse smiled at his wife's companion and noted the bad teeth when he smiled back.

"No problem … is cool." He wasn't sure if that was right, but they laughed and so Leonid sat back down and took another bite of his burger.

"I wish I could stay, are you alright with him?" Jesse had moved out of earshot of Rae's friend before he started to speak.

"Yeah, of course; Jesse, I meet guys way more presentable and far more dangerous every day, he found me another body from the Red Rose Killer."

"Oh, God, Rae, I'm sorry, I guess that means another late night, huh? Look, I only came in to get lunch for some of the guys, Mark, Amanda, Alex …" he tailed off.

"Susan, maybe?" Rae looked at him and felt her heart freeze, "I don't want you to be with her, Jesse, please."

"Rae, I promise, she came to me, and I'm trying, really trying, to get the message across that what we have is more important than anything else, I … I just don't seem to be getting through to her." Jesse looked away, what he said was true, Susan had attached herself leech-like to him as soon as he'd arrived at work and however hard he tried he couldn't get rid of her. They had been short staffed in the ER and she had been drafted in to help, and his day had been going downhill ever since.

"I have to get back to Leonid, I'll try not to make the day too long, I'll see you tonight, ok?" She watched him nod his head before he went back to the counter to place his order and then she returned to her table, her appetite suddenly gone.

ooo

Daniel had thought his heart would stop when the cop who worked his school came and collected him from the nurse's office where he was holding an ice pack to a rapidly blackening eye.

"Are you Daniel Sloan?" the man was very tall, taller than his dad and Daniel had seen him around campus a lot.

"Yes, Sir, that's me."

"Right, come on then, we need to be going." Officer Guy Tijeras fingered the cuffs that he held on his belt, "You got all your temper out now, Boy?"

"Yes, yes, Sir, I have." Daniel looked around him uncertainly, the nurse seemed to have disappeared and the policeman didn't seem to be in a very good mood.

"Good, so come on then, we need to get you to the station, and I'm missing my lunch because of it."

"The station? What station, I thought … I thought you were gonna take me home." Daniel stood up and backed away from the man.

"Look, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, this time I don't. Let's move." Once again he fingered the cuffs and then watched as Daniel threw the icepack into the wastebasket and preceded him out of the room.

ooo

Steve looked at his desk, he'd asked for no calls over his lunch hour and now he thought that everything was back as it should be, well everything except the picture of Mrs Newman who still resided in the bottom drawer, there was no way Steve could work with her looking at him the entire time. The biscuit tin also needed refilling but he would sort that over the weekend.

Rae had called in to tell him that she was taking her witness for lunch and he wondered what he had going for him to warrant such special treatment. His own lunch had been a very nice Pannini with grilled cheese and red onion in it; maybe not the best thing to have but he wasn't due to meet with anyone that afternoon.

There was another pushpin on the Los Angeles map and he knew that either Rae and himself or Cheryl would most likely be visiting grieving relatives as soon as the body had been identified. For now the corpse was still where it had been found, as far as he knew, Amanda had been working an emergency autopsy when she got the call and had sent one of her assistants to start the process, but, as she had told Steve when she called him, she would make sure she was there when the body was moved.

The phone rang on his desk and he picked it up, "Sloan … thank you, I think I may take a little walk, could you take messages for a while?" He put the receiver back down, shrugged himself into his suit jacket and headed out into the squad room.

ooo

Rae had driven back to the crime scene after they had finished their meal, her mind trying to forget that Jesse had bought another woman lunch, _well you bought another man lunch!_ She knew that was different, but it still made her smile. She pulled up by the tunnel or underpass, she wasn't sure what it was called in LA, but both words would have done in London. The coroner's wagon was there and Rae could see Amanda just climbing out of her car, the dark blue jumpsuit she wore emphasizing her slim figure.

Once Leonid and Bounce were out of the car Rae locked it up and moved round to talk to him. "I may need to speak with you again; I guess I should come here, huh?"

"No, no, Leonid move, not sleep here again. Bad, very bad, find new place, sleep there."

Rae shook her head, she wouldn't want to sleep where a dead body had been found either, but if he wasn't here then she wouldn't be able to get in touch with him. She didn't want him disappearing into the Los Angeles night never to emerge again, and she needed to make sure that didn't happen. "Look, why don't you just sit in my car, you and Bounce? I won't be long and I'll see what I can do to help you find some place safer to sleep." Rae opened the door to her vehicle again and indicated for Leonid to get in the back.

"Thank you, you nice lady." Leonid ducked his head, climbed into the car and made himself comfortable; Bounce jumped up onto his lap, circled twice and then did the same.

Rae pulled her cell phone out as she moved across the derelict area and punched in the number for the station. "Oh hi, this is Rae Yeager, could I please speak with Steve Sloan, he's on Captain Newman's extension this week … oh, ok … no, I'll try later, bye." With a sigh she thought for a moment and then put in another familiar number and stopped walking as she listened. "Hi, this is Detective Yeager, could you please put me though to Doctor Sloan?" after a moment or two another voice could be heard on the end of the line.

"Nurse Susan Hilliard, ER."

Rae resisted the temptation to growl or say something insulting, she was almost sure that Hilliard was the surname of the woman Jesse had kissed, but not sure enough to say anything. "This is Detective Yeager, could I please speak with Doctor Sloan?"

"Of course, Detective, please hold the line." Either Susan didn't know who she was or she could talk nice too, Rae wasn't feeling at all charitable and it showed when she spoke to Mark.

"Hi Rae, how can I help you?"

"Hi."

"Honey, are you having a bad day? You sound awfully tense."

Rae took a deep breath, "Mark, I'm sorry, no I'm not. I need your help, I have a homeless guy who I may need to speak with again, I don't want to lose sight of him and I wondered whether you could suggest someplace he could stay."

"Let me make a few calls and get back to you, ok?"

"Thank you, Mark, I have to go, Amanda and a dead body are calling me … I'll talk to you soon, bye." With a snap Rae closed her phone and walked the rest of the way to where her friend was standing.

"Hi, where have you been? I've been here, oooh, all of five minutes." Amanda smiled, Jesse had told her about what had happened at Bob's and she hadn't been that kind in her reply. He was a lovely guy, helpful, considerate, and that was his downfall at the moment. Anyone else would have told Susan Hilliard to go get a life, but he couldn't do that, and Amanda knew he would never be able to. It made him the man they all knew and loved, but it didn't make life any easier for Rae.

"Sorry, lunch called. So, tell me something about this body that I don't already know." Rae crouched down again, the long blonde hairs were still there, and she could see that if they had still been attached to the victim's head the hair would have been halfway down her back.

"There is no doubt it's him, is there?" Rae shook her head as she spoke, already knowing what Amanda's answer was going to be.

"Nope, sorry. We have everything, well, everything except the rose, but I'm guessing that we will find one, either on the highway or the embankment somewhere. But even if we don't no-one knows about the feet, it has to be him."

Now that she looked a little closer Rae could see the path of the body etched out in blood all the way down the slope, things had changed, again, and Rae wondered why. "He didn't kill her here, all the others have been killed where they were found, but not her, why not her?"

"I don't know, and I don't think it will be me who finds out. I know you're sending everything to Ron, maybe it's time to speak with him again."

"Yeah, I think you're right, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday next week, I'll have all this processed by then, you'll have done the autopsy … I'll call him." Rae's phone began to ring as she spoke; she checked the display and then answered it. "Hi, Mark … Yes, I've heard of it … yes, that's right … I can do that, sure … ok, I'll see you then, bye."

Rae made a mental note of what Mark had said to her and then focused her attention back to Amanda again.

"I've had the pictures taken that I want, and the officer told me about the hair, I would have taken that too, but I made doubly sure. I'm gonna move her now." Amanda stood up and indicated to the men standing leaning against the coroner's wagon that she was ready for them.

Rae found that she was holding her breath and she forced herself to breathe deeply. "You know, ever since Nadine, I almost don't want to look at their faces."

Amanda smiled sympathetically, "I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same way." She moved a little closer to Rae and then both of them watched as carefully the body was turned and placed on the gurney, and the two friends breathed a collective sigh of relief as they both realised she was a stranger to them.

ooo

Steve made his way through Homicide, took a brief detour through vice, not because he needed to, but because he was curious to see how they were working now that Don Werner was in jail and Martin Robertson was off the force. There were six detectives working at their desks, the phones were busy and Steve didn't stay long. His next port of call was the main objective of his perambulations, Booking, he had timed his arrival almost to the minute and the scene that met his eyes was very interesting indeed.

"Johansen, I don't care whether you liked the guy or not, he had three unpaid parking tickets, you didn't need to keep him cuffed the entire time and threaten him with a lie detector test! Your temper is gonna get you in even more trouble if you carry on this way." There was a pause, which to those listening to the argument seemed almost menacing. "Anyhow, you have a 'client' waiting, so go, and get it right this time." The name on the door was Captain Brownlow, and Steve knew him well, he was a tough, no nonsense cop who was in charge of the uniformed division.

No one knew that Steve was there; least of all the people waiting to be seen, he had positioned himself in a small alcove off the main hallway so that he got a good view without being noticed.

Officer Johansen was now, it seemed, in an even worse mood than before, he stalked out of his captain's office, slamming the door behind him before looking at a piece of paper in his hand. "Daniel Sloan?"

ooo

"I don't understand, you take Leonid where?" He was worried now, the lady detective who had seemed so nice was taking him to the hospital, and he didn't have any money to pay.

"I need to know where you are so that I can contact you again. I know you don't want to sleep in your tunnel anymore so I am trying to find you someplace else to go." Rae kept her eyes on the road, although she occasionally glanced in her rear view mirror at the worried face of her passenger.

The sign for Community General came up in front of her and Rae turned into the parking lot, drove slowly through into the doctor's area and found a space as near to the entrance as she could, while making sure that the vehicle was in the shade.

"Do you think that Bounce will wait in the car?" Rae looked at the little dog, he was absolutely no trouble, but so far she had taken him to a restaurant and now a hospital, both places which didn't like four legged furry creatures.

"He not allowed? Hopstipl, no animals?" Leonid was worried, his day had been one new experience after another, so far he had survived, this though he thought might be one step too far. "Bounce friend, Leonid need friend."

"He will be here when we come out; I just want him to wait for you in the car." Rae wondered whether he thought Bounce was going to be taken from him.

"Have no … no insurance … Leonid not go to hopstipl." Now he was worried, running his fingers into his sweater and twisting them around.

"No, I need some information from a friend who works here, and my husband he works here too. Leonid, it will be ok." Rae smiled at him and indicated that he should get out of the car. She made sure that one of her windows was down just a little bit so that the dog didn't suffocate and then she locked the vehicle up and walked Leonid into the hospital.

Jesse was at the desk trying to work out how to get rid of his shadow when the doors opened and he looked up to see the man from Bob's followed in by Rae. Jesse felt, rather than saw Susan stiffen beside him but he ignored her and moved over towards his wife, knowing that how he behaved now would have implications for what happened at work later.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you twice in one day, my luck must be really in." He smiled, an unforced, natural smile and Rae smiled back. "Leonid, she is taking you around all the sights, huh?"

"No insurance… Leonid not here for doctor." Leonid was completely confused now, he thought that the husband owned a restaurant, but now he was in a hospital, in a white coat, which was what doctors wore, and he had a nametag on.

"Jesse, is Mark around? Only he got some information for me, and I've come to get it."

"He's in the doctor's lounge. Hey, Leonid, why don't you and I go in here and I'll just have a look at you." He saw the panic in the Russian's eyes as he indicated an empty trauma suite. "I know, no insurance, you don't need it, not for this."

"Doctor Travis, would you like me to assist?" Susan stepped forward, a sweet smile on her face, and placed a hand on his arm.

"Back off, Lady, he's mine." Rae spoke quietly but forcefully as she passed. She didn't look at her rival, or break her stride, but she did hear a sharp intake of breath and that made her smile.

Mark was sitting, a coffee coloured drink in front of him, looking through a pamphlet he had picked up from information. As the door opened he saw Rae and got to his feet. "Rae, Sweetie, how are you?" He took her into a hug, her voice had sounded strained and tired when he'd spoken to her earlier, but he had to admit she looked well.

"Oh, I'm ok, feeling a bit of a failure if the truth be told, we just got another Red Rose victim, and I have no idea how to stop him." Rae hadn't mentioned to anyone else the way she was feeling, and it helped to have finally said it.

"Honey, what I heard from Steve, and saw in his office, this guy is clever, they didn't get him in any of the other places he's killed, but you will, in the end, find out who he is."

"I think I know who he is, or at least one or two names he uses, but they are no help. He has no social security record, nothing on NCIC or ViCAP, I can't even dye my hair and go looking for him, he only likes natural blondes, and I'm not one."

"For which Jesse is eternally grateful, I'm sure."

"Oh, I don't know, he seems to be very friendly with a blonde right now." Rae regretted it as soon as she said it, the worry and distress on her friend's face making her apologize immediately. "Mark, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's alright, and you're correct, but she seems to be chasing him not the other way round." Mark was upset that Rae had seen Susan with Jesse, but he supposed it was better out in the open, his words though seemed to cheer her.

"Yeah, he said that too. I love him, Mark, I have no intention of letting her get him, not if he doesn't want to be got."

"And if he did?" Mark was curious now.

"Then I would fight for him, but if I lost, oh, I don't know, I can't even think about that now. He came home to me, to me, Mark, it's me he wants to be with."

"Yes it is, and I'm glad he's back with you again, but we need to sort out your friend Leonid, and I have to be back on duty in ten minutes." Mark was delighted to see the spark in Rae's eyes, he'd seen it earlier when Jesse had tried to get away from Susan, and suddenly he knew that they would be fine.

ooo

Steve was sitting in his office reading reports when there was a knock at the door. "Excuse me, Sir, but your son is here to see you." Officer Johansen seemed to have calmed down a little since Steve had watched him earlier.

"I see, I had been informed of his presence in the station, thank you." Steve laid his pen down on the blotter and looked up. "You had better let him come in."

Daniel peered round the large officer who was standing in front of him but said nothing.

"Daniel, I am extremely busy, I suggest you either come in or start walking home."

Without a word the young man came in, and Steve could see that, even with everything that had happened to him, he was still defiant, still a closed book. Daniel sat down on one of the seats just inside the door, the same ones that Steve had laid Rae on when she had passed out, and glared into the distance, never once making eye contact with his dad.

Steve returned to his work after checking the time, it was a little after four thirty, Daniel had been in the station more than three hours, he had been subjected to a very unpleasant discussion with one of the nicest cops in the precinct, who had been chewed out over imaginary infringements by a captain who very rarely raised his voice to anyone. He knew that his son didn't know any of this, and he also knew that the effect he had hoped it would produce was sadly lacking. Something was going on with his son and it was going to take more than a good scare to get it out of him.

ooo

Rae had dropped Leonid off at the Midnight Mission a little after five-thirty. Jesse had given him a complete physical exam, and had been surprised to find that, although he was underweight and a little dehydrated, Leonid was in pretty good health. Bounce had lived up to his name when they had arrived back at the car, and Rae had been sure he was going to hit his head on the roof.

There was a large sign outside the Mission showing how their fund raising for a new building was going. Rae knew from what Mark had told her that they never had enough beds for those who needed them, and she also knew that he had probably pulled strings to get her companion in. The literature told her of the different schemes that they ran, and how all the occupants had to be totally clean the entire time they were there. Rae hadn't seen Leonid drink or take anything but she knew that he probably did both from time to time whether he could afford it or not.

She had just been deciding whether to go back to the station or straight home when a call had come over her radio of a shooting and she had called in to say she would attend.

Amanda had been there already when she arrived, and the scene had shocked her. The small suburban ranch house was neat and tidy from the outside, but inside it had been ransacked. Something about it didn't feel right though and, as Rae stood inside the doorway, she thought she knew what it was.

"Hi, Rae, rough day, huh?"

"Yeah, but this won't take long." Rae knew she sounded opinionated, but she would apologize if she was wrong.

"Ok, Detective, I know what I think from the bodies, what do you think?" Amanda smiled as she spoke, and watched as Rae looked around the living area that they were both now in.

The walls were white, but there was blood splattered across them, the furniture was also white, at least the leather sofas and chairs were, although the blood was all across them as well. The body of a young woman lay on the hardwood floor, her chest forced open by a bullet wound from close range, as well as others to her shoulders and legs. Around her were books, and the shattered remains of ornaments and pictures. On the coffee table next to her were photos of two young children, as well as the woman in happier times, and carefully folded on an unmarked upright dining seat was a soft baby blanket.

There was the body of a man lying next to where Amanda was standing, he had been shot, again at close range, this time in the head, and brain matter mixed with the blood around him.

"I think that the guy killed his wife, not right off, he shot her and she tried to get away from him, those marks over there on that wall, they were left by a bloody hand, maybe he came this way round the sofa, there are bloody footprints here, and he shot her, point blank in the chest, she died where she fell. Then I think he ransacked the place, made it look like a burglary, don't ask me why since he then killed himself, but that's what he did. I don't know where the children are, and I hope to God they're not dead in the bedrooms, but look, he didn't touch the pictures of his kids, the baby blanket is unmarked and still folded neatly on one of the dining chairs, but all the others have been tipped over. This is a murder suicide."

"I agree, totally, with everything you said, and no there are no children here, but it doesn't mean we have nothing to investigate, I'll get the preliminary report to you in the morning, but I guess you will be here a while, huh?"

"Oh yeah, I would say so." Rae ran her fingers through her hair, some of it snagged against the latex of her gloves and she thought again about getting it cut. "It's gonna be a long night."

ooo

Rae had arrived home after eleven, and she felt as if all benefits from the extra sleep she had gained earlier in the week had disappeared. She had put a call through to Jesse and he had promised to pick the girls up and leave her a meal in the refrigerator, not that she would use it, there was no way she would be able to stay awake long enough to heat it up, let alone sit and eat it.

The almost mind numbing tiredness that she had felt in the car was still with her as she moved slowly across the front lawn and up to the entranceway. She fumbled about in her pocket for her keys and then, checking the mailbox as she did so, opened the door and went inside. The house was almost totally quiet, but somehow just the knowledge that her husband was sleeping upstairs made it far more welcoming than it had been in a long time.

Although Jesse had been staying for a few days, it was the first time that Rae had come home to him after he had gone to bed, it was almost like old times, except that Jesse was in a guest room and she was still sleeping alone.

Rae checked the alarm was set, and then she hung her coat up in the downstairs closet and climbed the stairs. Rae crept down the upstairs hallway and opened the door to the nursery. Eliana and Anneya, as she had known they would be, were fast asleep. The soggy giraffe and doll had been lost in the fire that destroyed their last home, but Eliana now cuddled a soft brown pussycat. Anneya, on the other hand, had never taken a toy to bed of her own accord, the one from when she had been in hospital was downstairs somewhere and she was fast asleep, her thumb in her mouth and her other hand hidden in the bedclothes. Rae stood for almost five minutes letting the beauty of the scene replace the brutality of her day and then, shaking herself she moved away and closed the door once more.

The book by her bedside about criminal profiling needed to be finished, but it was late and Rae knew that she would only have to re-read anything she tried to take in tonight, so she snuggled down under the covers and turned off the light, hoping that she could put the scenes she had witnessed out of reach until the morning.

She wasn't sure what woke her, but suddenly Rae knew that something was happening downstairs and she needed to check it out. Grabbing the first clothes out of her closet that she could find Rae pulled them on, put her gun in the back of the pants and, for some reason, her cuffs in the pocket of the top.

The house was still in darkness, and Rae, creeping barefoot along the deep red carpet that covered the landing and stairs, made no sound. She took each step of the journey in a stealthy manner, and was sure that as she arrived on the cold tiles of the entrance hall she had been totally silent the entire time.

As she stood there Rae saw a small beam of light from under the door of the living room and, checking that there weren't any lights anywhere else, she moved closer and listened.

'So you're saying that this picture is an original?"

"Yeah, apparently there's another one in the library; we'll go there in a minute."

Rae pressed herself against the wall and held her breath, she needed to think. Would it be better to wait until they came out of the living room and went to the library, or should she try and take them now? She wanted to call 911 but knew that she would be discovered if she did that.

"Cut it out of the frame carefully, I'll go open up the library."

The voice was suddenly much louder and Rae knew that the decision had been made for her. She moved quickly and pressed herself up against the door of one of the unused rooms knowing that her would-be burglar had to pass that way. As he did so she quietly followed him and just as he was about to touch the library door handle pressed the barrel of her gun into his neck.

"Police. Say or do anything and I'll fire." Her voice was quiet but strong and she felt rather than saw her captive freeze. She pulled the cuffs out from her pocket, put them on his wrists and ignoring his gasp of surprise pushed him back and into the unused room and closed the door behind him, he immediately began to yell and she knew that she would have to act fast.

The living room had French doors and she didn't want to scare the other member of the team out into the grounds, if that happened she might be forced to shoot him and that would make for way too much paperwork. Rae stood, just out of sight once again and tried to work out quickly what to do next. She wished she had another set of cuffs, and suddenly she smiled and moved across to the telephone table. In the drawer underneath it was a pair of plastic gloves, two sticks of gum, a bus timetable and a pair of handcuffs. Rae had put them in there when she had needed a jacket to go out shopping and hadn't wanted to carry the tools of her trade with her. As she picked them up carefully so they didn't jingle, the door to the lounge moved and once again she followed her burglar who was calling out to his friend.

"Freeze, Police." The gun was jabbed in his back and the man did just as he was told. Rae put the cuff on one wrist looked around and a smile played across her face. She tried to move him across the floor.

"Hey!" the burglar, who was a small, wiry man dug his heels in and then began pulling against her.

"Do you want me to use this?" Rae still had the muzzle of her gun against his body but it was being jogged around. She pressed it into his shoulder and tried to stand her ground.

"Lady, you wouldn't dare." He pulled hard on the arm that was cuffed, jerking Rae's arm too.

"Don't try me, you shouldn't have broken into a cop's house." The information stopped the robber in his tracks and Rae hauled him, the gun now pointing in his face, over to the staircase and then fastened the other cuff, but only after she had laced it through the balustrades. "Be quiet."

The other burglar was soon three stairs further up, also attached to the poles; he had tried to break away from Rae's grasp too, but she had been fired up by then and hadn't been at all gentle with him. Finally Rae had been able to call the police and Steve. The second call had taken a few seconds to register with its recipient.

"_Sloan here … what? Rae, say that again, I don't have … you did what?"_

_Rae had laughed, his voice had been so sleepy, but she needed him to come so she could check on her family._

_"I have caught two burglars in my lounge, would you please come and keep an eye on them while I check on the children."_

_"Yeah … k … you caught… what? I'll … I'll just come, tell me when I get there."_

_"Ok, don't forget your gun! Oh, and don't touch anything when you get here, this is a crime scene!"_

Rae knew that it would be just a couple of minutes before her partner arrived, and so she had sat sideways on the bottom step and, with her gun resting on her knees, the muzzle in the direction of her two guests she had waited.

"Rae? Is that you, what's going on?" Jesse's voice floated down from the upstairs landing and Rae jumped to her feet. She knew that her captives couldn't get away, but she still kept her weapon pointed at them as she climbed the stairs.

"Don't go away, boys!" Rae moved as quickly as she could towards her husband, but stopped just out of touching range. His eyes darted to the gun in her hand and he moved back. "Honey, it's ok. We were burgled, but they can't hurt us now. Baby, I have to go keep an eye on them, you go back to bed, and I promise I will look in on you once Steve and the Crime Scene guys are here." Rae kept her voice low, so that the conversation remained private.

Jesse looked around, the scared haunted look of previous weeks suddenly back with a vengeance and Rae cursed the fact that these crooks had chosen their house on this night. "You will come in, you promise?"

"Of course; Jesse, they can't hurt us, I have them cuffed up, they just need to be taken away, go on, I won't be long."

Jesse nodded his head, turned round and walked back the way he had come. He looked so little and lost that it was all Rae could do to stop herself rushing after him and taking him in her arms, but she knew that he would hate it and so, hardening her heart, she turned and made her way back down the stairs.

Rae had just made herself comfortable again when she heard a noise and saw a now wide awake Steve come in through the door, his hands encased in latex gloves and a businesslike expression on his face.

"Rae, are you ok … what the … Rae?" Steve couldn't keep the absolute amazement off his face as he took in the scene before him. His partner was sat on the stairs wearing a pink tracksuit top and black shiny pants, but that paled into insignificance as he saw where she was pointing her gun. There were two men, both looking as shocked as he imagined he was, against the banisters. They had their hands behind them and he could see a glint of metal and realised that they were attached to the rails by handcuffs. "What is going on here?"

"This woman is a nut, we just came to investigate the sound of her alarm going off and she attacked us." One of the men suddenly launched into life.

"Yeah, we was being good citizens and look what thanks we got!"

Steve was still so bemused that he just turned to Rae to get her version of the story, but as he did so the dish on top of the hall table caught his eye and a broad grin crossed his face. "Oh, I don't believe it."

"What?" Rae stood up, and with a glare in the direction of the burglars moved over to where Steve was standing.

"Look, there in your dish."

Rae's face lit up as well, the card with the hand drawn owl on it making her realise just who she had caught, and then the two of them began to laugh. "If you would like to just keep an eye on Laurel and Hardy here, I want to go check on Jesse."

Steve became instantly serious, knowing that the happenings in this house could have seriously jeopardised his recovery. "Sure, go on, did you call 911?"

Rae just nodded as she climbed the stairs and made her way to the guest room. She tapped lightly on the door and then, not waiting for a reply went in.

"Jess, Honey, it's me."

"Rae, have they gone?" Jesse's voice was faint and tremulous and she felt so badly for him.

"No, they will be soon. But it's a big case we just cracked here tonight, these guys have been doing this for years, I guess their research let them down big time. Breaking into the house of a cop!"

"Yeah, I guess it did." Rae wasn't sure, but she thought she could hear just a little bit of relief in her husband's voice.

"Do you want me to stay with you? Steve's downstairs, I'll need to go back, give an initial statement at least, but I'll try to get them to leave the main investigating until the morning … or a little later in the morning I should say."

"No, you go, I'll be ok, and the girls, Eliana, she didn't even stir, did she?" Jesse looked round as he spoke, his concern for his daughters evident in his eyes.

"Nope, not a sound, but then I'm not surprised about that."

"Me either." This time there was genuine pleasure in his voice, and Rae, heartened by this blew him a kiss before she left the room.

The crime scene officers came ten minutes or so after Rae arrived downstairs, and for the next hour and a half she was so busy that neither her children nor her husband entered her mind. Steve had taken charge of the case, requesting the officers from the West Los Angeles Community Police Station send everything to him and explaining that the two guys, who had just been released from the staircase, had been preying on households for eight years. The two officers, Sanders and Jacobson, both recognised the calling card, and were delighted to know that the case had been solved and the entire ninety minutes or so that they were there the business was conducted with a feeling of a job well done.

By the time Rae climbed the stairs for what she hoped would be the final time that evening she was horrified to see that it was gone four in the morning. Running her hands through her hair she moved into her bedroom and closed the door. She was too tired to even turn the light on and so she divested herself of her clothes as she walked round the bed, but as she sat down on it she realised she was no longer alone.

With her heart singing Rae carefully got into bed and turned to face her husband. She could tell from his breathing that he was fast asleep and, as she moved slightly, she felt his hand on her pillow as it brushed her face. The brief contact brought tears to her eyes, and she wiped them away before lightly touching him with her fingers, and then, with a feeling of renewed optimism, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.


	35. A Rose by Any Other Name

**Chapter 35 A Rose by Any Other Name **

Steve sat on the patio, a cup of coffee on the small table by his side, and tried to prepare himself for the day. Jo was suffering badly from morning sickness and was still in bed, Daniel had stormed off to his room the night before and Michael was in England. Of the three it was Daniel who concerned him the most, morning sickness, whilst not something he understood, he could sympathize with, Michael was on his way to his mother's house, having left a message on the answering machine to let them know he had arrived in London safely. Both Jo and Michael's problems were out of his control, but Daniel, Daniel was his responsibility and right now he wasn't making a very good job of being his dad.

Steve tried to think back to when he was fifteen, he'd gotten into trouble at school, most kids did some time or other, but never for fighting, never for flattening another child and getting a black eye in the process. The scare tactics he'd used the previous day hadn't worked, all they had done was cause a massive row, and ended up with one furious set of parents and an equally angry and very hurt son. Taking a drink of his coffee Steve let his mind run back to the meal the previous evening. He had picked up take-out from Bob's on the way home from the station, and it had been set out on the table as they had started to talk.

_"Daniel, I know we have a nice meal an' all, but we really have to talk to you about what happened today." Jo had been laying the plates out as she spoke and Steve had been glad that she had started the conversation._

_"You wanna talk about it you go ahead, I have nothing to say." Daniel already had a rib in his hand and took a bite from it, which, Steve knew, was to prevent him from having to say anything more._

_"Ok, we'll talk about it, you just feel free to chip in any time you like." Steve was beginning to wonder whether a meal of barbeque was the best thing to be having when you wanted to have a serious discussion. He took a mouthful of his own rib and tried to enjoy it but found that at the moment it tasted of dust._

_"You got sent to the police station today because you were fighting in school." Steve had wanted to sound relaxed, but knew he didn't, Jo's telephone call had horrified him, and he still felt that way._

_"It wasn't school, it was break." Daniel had shot his reply across the table as if what he said would make all the difference and his black eye had stood out against the whiteness of his skin._

_"You were fighting in school, whether it was in class or outside it's still just as serious. If you were sixteen we would have been bailing you out round about now."_

_"Yeah, well you didn't have to, so quit beefing on about it. I'll do the suspension and then go back and be a good little boy." The venom in his son's voice had surprised Steve and he had taken a mental step back._

_"Oh right, just like you did after the incident with Francine, your mom talked with you, I talked with you, and then you promised that it wouldn't happen again and everything would be fine. I believed you then, I don't believe you now."_

_"Steve!" His voice had risen as he spoke and Jo had cut in. "Honey, we are both so disappointed in you breakin' your promise, but your father will give you the benefit of the doubt."_

_"No, Jo, don't do that, I don't need you to speak for me, or to tell him what I mean or don't mean. I don't believe him; I don't think he is sorry, not at all."_

_"Yeah, well, that's your prerogative I guess, isn't it?" Daniel hadn't looked at all upset by what Steve had said._

_"Daniel, what the hell's the matter with you? We were going along just fine, you have always been happy here, oh sure, we had teething troubles to start with, but we settled down, and when your mom was taken you suffered just as much as I did. You asked to become a member of this family and now you … now …" He had tailed off, not knowing how to finish what he was saying._

_"And now I'm what? Showing my true colors? Once a crim always a crim is that what you mean? Well, I'm sorry, **Dad**, if you feel that way, but I guess you don't know all there is to know about me after all."_

_"Daniel, Steve, please, don't do this. Darlin' can't you see what your behavior is doin' to this family? We have never argued like this before." Steve could tell that his wife was close to tears and that only increased his anger._

_"Oh, well, look at me, now I'm to blame for breaking up the family as well as disgracing it in school! Dad, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at work, I guess I'm just a big disappointment all round." Steve had half expected the boy to stand up and storm out, but he had remained seated._

_"Daniel, stop it! Something is wrong, there must be to make you behave his way, you didn't just hit that guy you insulted him too, from what I understand you were lucky to get away with a suspension."_

_"Oh, I didn't just get a suspension did I? I had to spend the entire afternoon sitting on my butt waiting for some cop to get his ass chewed so that he could come take his temper out on me. How you work in that place is beyond me."_

_"Honey, it was for your own good." Jo hadn't been taking a very active part in the conversation, but Steve had just been glad for her company and silent support._

_"It was for my own good? To what, sit with guys who had trouble keeping their lunch inside them, or smelled of booze so bad that I could have gotten drunk on the fumes? Yeah right."_

_"Steve, it wasn't supposed to be that way …" Jo had looked at him in horror and then stopped talking and Steve knew she had said too much._

_"What wasn't supposed to be what way?" Daniel had looked at his mom for a minute and then realization had dawned on his face and he turned and glared at his dad. "You set me up; you damn well set me up!"_

_"Daniel!" Jo had been horrified at her son's choice of words, Steve had seen it on her face and heard it as she spoke and he too had been shocked._

_"Yeah, I set you up, but trust me once you are sixteen if you pull that little stunt again that is what you'll get, and there won't be anything I can do about it."_

_"I can't believe you, what did you think I was gonna do? Break down in tears in your posh office, beg forgiveness and promise never to do anything like it ever again? Yeah, right, like you see me doing that. I'll bet you were just **so** disappointed when your plan fell apart, huh?" Daniel had finally stood up and pushed his plate away. "I'm not hungry." He had then turned, left the table and doors had slammed until he was in his bedroom._

Steve had sat with Jo for a long while, there had been very little conversation but he knew she felt as helpless as he did. By the time he had gone to bed his mind was so full of what he had done, hadn't done, should have and shouldn't have done, that his dreams had been that way too. When Rae had called he'd had a hard time getting refocused, but now a smile crossed his face as he realised that they had finally caught the Night Owl gang who had been burglarizing houses across Los Angeles for over eight years. Well, to be accurate Rae had caught them, but he wouldn't argue with her if she wanted to put his name on her report as well. He'd taken over the case when he'd arrived because it was Rae's house, but she'd made the bust, and he wouldn't fight her over it.

ooo

Jesse had woken with a start and taken in a gulp of air. He looked around him wondering what it was that had startled him and his eyes met those of his eldest daughter.

"Hi, Daddy, Yana get up now." The little girl had her dressing gown on and tied in a bunch around her waist, her slippers were on the wrong feet and her hair was tousled from sleep. Jesse didn't think he had ever seen such a wonderful sight and he put his finger to his lips so that she didn't wake Rae and then he slipped out of bed, took her hand and left the bedroom.

His decision to leave his own room and get back into the bed he and Rae had shared so happily had been surprisingly easy. Once he had realised that there were burglars downstairs all the old insecurities had started coming back, he had felt faint, slightly nauseous, his hands had been sweaty, but as the first few minutes had passed and Rae had visited with him twice to convince him everything was fine he had felt something else too, curiosity. He had needed to see what Rae was doing; how she was reacting to someone violating her home and so he had crept out onto the upstairs hallway and listened.

Although he had often worked with Steve, Jesse had only very rarely seen his wife on duty. He had seen her check out Neil Crosier's house, but this time had been different, this time she had been in total charge of the situation, and everything about her had been controlled, even when the burglars bad mouthed her to Steve or called out to her while she waited for her partner to arrive Rae hadn't been phased by it. He wished he had been awake to see her cuff them to the banister, but just the fact that she had thought of it cheered him considerably and he realised that her professionalism made him feel safe. The officers who had responded to the 911 call had deferred to both Rae and Steve, who had taken charge of the investigation, and it hadn't been until he had heard Rae begin to give her own statement that the fear had risen up in him again and he had bolted back to the safety of his old room.

As he made his way down the stairs, noticing the marks in the wood of the balustrades as he did so, Jesse realised that he had slept soundly next to his wife, the comfort of knowing she was near him in total contrast to the fear her being in close proximity had caused him only recently and he smiled to himself.

"TV, Daddy, Yana watch TV, peeze?" the little girl looked up and smiled at her daddy, but Jesse shook his head.

"Hold on a second, Sweetie, there are some places we can't go this morning, I need to just check." There didn't seem to be anything to stop him taking Eliana across the hallway to the kitchen but, as Jesse looked around, he saw that the other rooms on the first floor all had seals across them. "You'll have to watch it in the kitchen; there are things in the other rooms that Uncle Steve needs to check."

"Unki Teve, Unki Teve come here?" Eliana started to bounce and once again Jesse put his finger to his lips, "Shhh, yeah, a bit later on, I'm sure he'll be here. Now, would you like Daddy to make you some toast?"

"Es, peeze." The angelic look his daughter gave him almost broke Jesse's heart, how could he have thought to throw all of this away, to let fear take the things he had worked so hard for and leave him with nothing? He didn't know the answer to his ponderings and so he shook them away and, with a smile of his own, he took his little girl into the kitchen to make her breakfast.

ooo

The killing had made the front page of the paper and Dominic was extremely satisfied with himself. The cops still didn't know her name, he could help them, maybe he should drop them a line. Harriet, her name had been Harriet, she wasn't the type of girl he was usually drawn to, he had picked her up on a street corner and to start with she had been fun, they hadn't been together long, and Matthew had tried to come between them, but he had gotten rid of him, pushed him away into the recesses of his mind where he couldn't surface until it was too late. The memories of the evening were fresh in his mind, but they didn't excite him in the way that usually happened. The headlines, they were some of the best yet, but the girl, the killing, it hadn't been as good, and his trophies seemed hollow to him.

Matthew knew that he felt uneasy and was fighting him, fighting to get out so that he could release the fear and anxiety that was always around when Matthew was free. With a shuddering sigh Dominic relented and the weaker personality broke through.

_Red Rose Killer Strikes Again_

Matthew read the words with horror; he knew now for absolute certain that he was the red rose killer and he longed for the days when even if he was covered with blood he didn't know where it had come from. This girl had been a mistake, her name was Harriet, and she had been a call girl, a prostitute, she would have had friends who would miss her and identify her easily, he was sure of that. Dominic had argued with him, the words echoing around his brain, saying that hookers didn't contact the cops the cops contacted them; she would be just as hard to ID as the rest of the girls, naked, dead and no papers on her.

Matthew looked down again and began to read a little more of the article.

_Detective Reagan Yeager (shown in file photo, far right) spoke at length to an eyewitness of this latest murder, according to our reporter on the scene. It is understood that the head of the profiling department of the local FBI field office, Agent Ron Wagner, is assisting Detective Yeager and Lieutenant Sloan, the lead detective, with this case. The killings have been occurring sporadically over the last few months with five known victims in Los Angeles and very few clues at this time._

_At a recent press conference Lieutenant Sloan gave out details of a link between the killings in LA and other Californian cities, the murder yesterday brings the total so far to fourteen._

_If anyone has any information regarding the identity of the latest victim or any other details relating this case they should contact the Homicide Department of the North Hollywood Bureau and speak with either Lieutenant Sloan or Detective Yeager. All calls will be treated in the strictest confidence._

There was a picture of Harriet slotted into the middle of the article and Matthew looked at it for a long time. She had been photographed in a way which was designed to make her look, well, not dead, he guessed, but it was obvious that she was. _All calls will be treated in the strictest confidence._ He could call, just to let them know who she was, that wouldn't do any harm, he would think about it.

Dominic was suddenly back, the thoughts coming from Matthew had alarmed him so much that he had asserted himself far more strongly than usual and for an instant the room swam around him. He had things to do, there was no way that he could let Matthew out if he was going to go making calls to the cops, there were rituals that had to be undertaken, procedures that had to be followed, and making telephone calls weren't involved.

For a moment Dominic thought about the tablets in the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed. They took about a week or two to take affect, but Matthew couldn't tolerate them and they sent him to sleep. If he was asleep he couldn't go wandering off on his own and land them both in serious trouble. Dominic ran his hand through his hair and felt the softness of it across his fingers, he did it again, it was such a beautiful thing, so personal, so individual, so special and it had been ruined, its enjoyment taken away from him, suddenly he grasped a handful of his own hair and pulled it hard, his fist coming away with tufts sticking out between all the fingers.

ooo

Steve had finished his coffee and wandered back into the house, it was almost totally silent and he knew that Daniel was still asleep or skulking quietly in his room. He climbed up the stairs, stopping only long enough to listen again for sounds of his son and then he went into the bedroom he shared with his wife.

Jo was lying against the pillows, her face pale and her hair pushed back off her face and over one shoulder, she turned and smiled weakly as she saw Steve enter the room.

"Hi, Cowboy, I heard you get up, but there was just no way I could follow you down. Think this little one's gonna be a girl? I sure didn't go through this with David."

Steve smiled, the thought of him having a little girl was a very appealing one, but a little boy would be just as wonderful. "I have no idea, but if they are as beautiful as their momma, as kind and generous, then they will get by fine."

"Oh, Steve, Honey, what a lovely thing to say, thank you." Jo felt her eyes fill with tears as her hormones made themselves noticed once again and she saw the look of horror on her husband's face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, come here." Steve sat on his side of the bed took her into his arms, and felt the heat of her tears on his shirt. Almost without realizing that he was doing so he ran his fingers into her hair reveling, as he always did, in its softness, the silky way it slid over his hand, the little tangles that sometimes stopped him before they loosened themselves and let his hand pass.

"Don't be sorry, it was a lovely thing for you to have said to me, I just can't stop myself from cryin' or feelin' sick right now."

Steve laid his hand gently on her stomach and then smiled at her as she looked up at him. "Honey, when our baby arrives in seven months time you will forget all about this, he or she will lay in your arms and you will be a mom, not just to Daniel, but to a baby too, I … I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I love you, Jo, and you will get past this stage." He felt embarrassed, his words had deserted him and Steve pulled her close again, hoping that she wouldn't mind what he had said.

"I love you too, an' I would go through mornin' sickness a hundred times over for this baby, our baby." Jo snuggled a little closer to her husband and felt his arm around her shoulders as he held her tightly, "He'll be alright, won't he? Do I ground him, or let him go see Maddie? Maybe beltin' the livin' daylights out of a punch bag for a couple of hours would do him good."

"That's a point, no, don't ground him, maybe a bit of the silent treatment, the cold shoulder, which I know without asking you will be totally hopeless at," he laughed as he spoke, knowing that there was no way that Jo would be able to ignore her son, "that might work."

"Steve, no, I couldn't, he's hurtin' inside, I just know he is, maybe it is the baby, he said he was ok with it, but things change, maybe now he wishes I wasn't havin' it." Jo was worried that maybe everything that was happening was her fault, and she felt the anxiety turn to the familiar nausea once again. "Excuse me." She struggled out of bed and into the bathroom just in time for Steve to hear the dry retching wrack her body.

ooo

The sun shining in through the window finally worked its way under her eyelids and Rae stretched out in the bed, enjoying the feeling of the comfortable mattress beneath her and the relaxing warmth of the covers over her. As she lay there she suddenly remembered that for the first time in months she hadn't slept alone, but her heart sank as she turned her head and saw Jesse's side was empty. Rae slid out of bed, put her feet into her slippers and then grabbed her wrap from the chair where she had left it the last time she took it off. As she put one foot onto the landing Anneya began to cry and, not wanting her to be alone in her silent world any longer than she had to be, Rae rushed towards the sound.

Eliana's bed was empty and Anneya was standing up, the almost permanently confused expression on her face as she tried to get used to another day when nothing was like it used to be. Every time that Rae saw her daughter she wanted to hold her close and not let anything anywhere near her ever again, but now it was a feeling of more than wanting to do that which consumed her. She felt guilty, guilty because her daughter had been home long enough for her and Jesse to have started to look into what was available in the way of treatment or assistance.

Rae made her way carefully down the stairs, nuzzling her daughter's hair as she did so, and trying to banish the deep sadness that she had accompanying her every time she looked at Anneya and thought of her future. As they got to the hallway and Anneya struggled to get down Rae heard laughter coming from the kitchen and so she kept a firm hold on her little girl and followed the sounds; as she opened the door she stopped and smiled, Jesse had obviously decided to be adventurous for breakfast and was making pancakes. Eliana had been given the job of beating the mixture and she had it everywhere, in her hair, down her nightclothes and gown, and her hands were caked in goo.

"Well, there seems to have been a busy little pair working in here. I hope there is going to be enough for everyone." Anneya's struggling got too much for Rae and she carefully put her daughter down on the floor and watched as she moved over towards her daddy.

"No, Sweetie, it's hot over here, go to Mommy." As Jesse spoke he realised that there was no point, the little girl, a big smile on her face just kept on walking until she could grasp him tightly around the knees and he looked down to see Rae, tears in her eyes carefully pry her fingers undone and pick her up, to a cacophony of sound as Anneya made her annoyance felt and Jesse knew that something had to be done, sooner rather than later.

ooo

The market was busy as Matthew made his way around the usual stalls buying fruit and vegetables for the week as well as stopping to look at the pet food stall, another one, which sold beautiful rugs, and then the one that had all the wonderful flowers.

"Hi, Matt, how's it going? I missed you last week." The lady with the money belt around her waist was baked to a golden brown hue available only to those who worked out of doors all the time. "You want your regular, or maybe you're goin' off red roses, what with that killer around an' all."

Matthew felt himself go cold, he didn't know how to answer this woman, should he just nod and keep walking, do nothing and keep walking, run? In the end he did none of those things, he stopped, picked up a bunch of yellow roses and sniffed them; unlike the red roses they had no scent. "They're not the same are they? No smell, and the colour of the others, so rich, but …" He didn't finish his sentence; it didn't matter to the flower lady.

"I know, red 'uns have always been my favourite too, but I can't see them in the same light, not now that weirdo is running around leaving flowers on his victim, I tell you what, I got some lovely black tulips, I don't put 'em up, they upsets some folks, but they're a good colour too." She rummaged around behind the stall and Matthew heard the sound of buckets being moved and water sloshing before the smiling, if slightly red, face of the stall owner re-emerged. "There, what d'you think of them, then?"

Matthew had to admit they were beautiful, long green stems and then a black bloom, which was magnificently dark. The woman was right, offer a woman a red rose at the moment and she would head for the hills, but if Dominic wanted to go out again tonight, and Matthew had a feeling he would, he'd insist on flowers of some kind, and so taking his courage in both hands he nodded. "They're lovely; I'll take a bunch please."

It was another half hour before Dominic decided to pay a visit to the market, he felt himself shudder into existence and he looked around him. The shopping and the flowers weren't that heavy and he had to agree with Matthew the tulips were special. The air around him seemed to frost over, and he knew that tonight he would have to go out again, but not like last night, Harriet hadn't helped, hadn't sated his appetite for the kill, and he looked around, once again seeing the world as if through a prism seeing women, rejecting them, moving on to the next one, and the next, until suddenly he knew, again, that he had found what he was looking for.

Daniel lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling. This was the only place that he could be honest with himself, could face the problems that he was having. He wanted badly to talk to someone, but there was no one, or no one who wasn't connected to his mom and dad. They'd all been together when he arrived, they would take the other side and he would find himself lost again, left, unwanted and unloved because he couldn't control himself long enough to make it a habit, to stop the bad behavior ruining everything again.

His mom had left, gone out one night and never come back; he remembered it vividly, although he didn't talk about it much. The day before she went he'd gotten into trouble at school for losing his temper and pushing a classmate over. The little girl had hit her head on the side of a desk and had needed hospital treatment. His mom had been the most furious he had ever seen her, she had taken the belt off a pair of his dad's pants and beaten him with it.

He'd been good the next day, drawn her a picture showing her how much he loved her, but it hadn't done any good and she'd left that night, she'd had her best clothes on, her leopard skin coat, he never spoke to her or saw her ever again.

It was his fault, she'd gone because he was bad, she'd told him how much of a disappointment he'd been, how she'd always wanted a little girl, and instead she got him. What if his mom now had a baby girl, would she hate him too? Maybe, if he got it over and done with now he'd never find out, would never know, because he would be long gone by then. With a deep groan he sat up, he would go to the gym, take his anger out on the bags for a while, maybe then he would see things clear enough to try and work out why he was trying to destroy the best thing that had ever happen to him.

The sounds coming from Daniel's room told Steve that his son was up and about and so he tapped on the door and waited.

"Come in." The offer wasn't made with any grace, but Steve accepted it and opened the door. Daniel was dressed in a sweat suit and sneakers, his sports bag was on the bed and it was obvious that he planned on going to the gym. "So, are you gonna tell me I'm grounded and ruin my weekend too?"

"No, I'm not, it would have been nice if you'd asked before deciding that you were going to go waltzing off, but I should have guessed. What I was going to say was that I have to go into work this afternoon, Michael is away and I don't want your mom at home on her own, so can you please be back in time for lunch?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Daniel looked as if he was going to say something else, but then he thought better of it. "Mind if I go, because Maddie is meeting me at the bus stop and I don't like to keep her waiting."

"Sure, but lunch is twelve thirty, ok?" Steve saw his son nod his head and then leave the room and he stood just inside the doorway, sorely tempted to stay and look around to see if he could find anything to give him an idea what was wrong.

ooo

The scene of crime officers had returned to Rae's house just as she was beginning to clear up the pancake disaster in the kitchen. The actual food had been wonderful and they'd had a good family breakfast together, but Jesse was used to having staff at Barbeque Bob's follow him around and tidy up after him, and Rae knew that she had been designated the same task at home. She heard the doorbell and saw Jesse go to answer it, then she plunged her cloth back into the hot water and began to attack some of the dried on stains on the counter.

"Mommy, can Neya an' me watch TV peeze?" Eliana pulled on Rae's t-shirt, which she had changed into along with a pair of faded and friendly jeans after breakfast.

"Sure, Honey, hold on." Rae dried her hands, pressed the button on the remote control and the children's Saturday cartoons came on. Eliana turned her chair around from the table and climbed up onto it. She made herself comfortable and became entranced by the antics of the animated children on the screen.

Anneya was sitting on the floor with a wooden jigsaw that Rae had given her, it was simple, and before her illness she had been able to complete it with ease, now though it was beyond her again, and she was concentrating hard.

"Look, Neya, look, toons." Eliana suddenly realised that her sister wasn't watching the screen and so she called to her. "NEYA!" she shouted when she got no response and so Rae dried her hands again and crouched down by the seat.

"Honey, Anneya can't hear you, I know it's real difficult for you to understand, but ever since she was poorly in the hospital she can't hear any more."

Eliana nodded her head gravely and Rae, knowing that she had done nothing to explain, but having no idea what else to say turned back to her chores. Suddenly the room was filled with the sound of the television blaring at her and she turned in anger to her daughter. "Eliana, turn that down this instant." Rae saw Jesse come rushing into the room and tears start in their eldest child's eyes as he took the remote control from her and hit the mute button.

"For goodness sake, whatever made you do that?" Rae was still shouting even though there was no noise to compete against.

"For Neya, Neya, can't hear, Yana make it for her to hear." Her chin wobbled, and the big tears rolled down her cheeks and Rae, unable to speak or even hug her child had to turn away, but she heard Jesse comfort her and again Rae knew that whatever else was going on in her life, she had to get this sorted, right away.

ooo

Jo had eaten a little dry toast and drunk a glass of warm water after she'd had a shower and washed her hair. The fact that she had only one more day before the wonderful _Debs_ arrived for her visit wasn't lost on Jo and she planned to spend the morning going through some more of the letters that Victoria had written to Elle. She also needed to speak with Rae and Jesse and had called and invited them for lunch, hoping that their presence would help the meal to run a little smoother than dinner the previous evening.

Steve had spent an hour in his gym and was now going through the paperwork on the Night Owls case knowing that he could file the lot away when he got to the station.

The letters were spread across the dining table and Jo was carefully making a note of each one and what it said in a small notebook. Elle's secret had soon become clear and the letter she had in her hand made Jo eternally grateful that she hadn't been born at the same time as her distant relative.

_My dearest Elle,_

_Your letter has brought tears to my eyes, and I have been quite unable to continue with my daily routines until I know I have sent my reply back to you._

_I am glad that the house in Austin is suiting you fine, but I am distressed that your family has disowned you so completely. Surely you will be able to return once the child has been born and you are no longer shaming them?_

_James and I continue to see each other, and momma has met him now, and likes him very much. I thought it best not to mention that you and James were acquainted. We are officially stepping out together, (I have always wanted to say that about someone) and I really do think that he may ask me to marry him one day soon._

_It would be quite wonderful to be Mrs Jardinero, Victoria Jardinero, I know how taken you were with him before your troubles, and I hope that you will forgive my relationship with him and remain my friend. _

_My momma is going visiting with her sister next week so I will be able to come stay with you then. It grieves me so that you are alone at this time, but we all have reputations to keep and I know you will understand my hesitancy in visiting with you too often._

_You make no mention of Robert, and I wonder whether your relationship has faltered due to your indiscretion, I sincerely hope not, but know that you realize just how people other than yourself could view your current situation._

_I must finish now so that Mary can take this to the mail box before momma calls me for luncheon, but I will visit with you as promised next week._

_Take care of yourself_

Jo couldn't believe how many times the prissy Victoria had condemned her friend in just one letter, and she knew that if all she'd had to look forward to when she had been pregnant with David was a visit from someone like this she would have barricaded the door.

She looked through the other letters; suddenly anxious to see what happened as the pregnancy got closer to the end, and she hoped that in those days of primitive medical care Elle hadn't suffered like she had done.

Moving all the letters over to the other side of the table as she scanned them Jo finally realised that she had what she was looking for in her hand, and once again began to read properly.

_My dearest Elle,_

_What can I say? Surely you realised when you found yourself with child that there was no way your parents, or Robert for that matter, would let you keep it._

_Your suggestion to me needs some serious consideration, and I am glad that you are planning on staying in town a little longer so that James and I can talk this through. _

_Elle, I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be married to this man, to have my own home, where I can receive guests, and entertain. Mary seems to be enjoying the change as well, she was so grateful, bless her, when I told her that I wished to bring her with me to the new house. She calls me Mrs Jardinero or Madam, and curtseys when she enters the room; apparently that is how a proper housekeeper should behave. I do not know that it is, but it keeps her happy, and I have no wish to train someone new._

_I must close now my dear, I have the Ladies Circle coming here this afternoon, it is such a shame that your request for membership was turned down. I shall report back to you on all that happens though, that way you are almost a member._

_Give a kiss to that beautiful boy,_

_Kind regards_

"Kind regards, the woman wouldn't know kindness if it crept up an' slapped her!" Jo dropped the letter down on the table, forgetting for a moment how fragile it was. "Every chance she got she put that poor girl down." Jo slid the letter over to the pile of unread messages so that she could put it back in order. As she did so the first line of the last letter caught her eye and she picked that up.

_Elle,_

_James and I have discussed this and we have decided that now we have adopted James Junior it really would be best for him and us if we did not see each other any more._

_I understand from what James tells me that Robert is standing by you, I hope he will always realize how grateful you are for that._

_Regards_

"See, no kindness there, not even good wishes for the future, girl, you were better off without her, no doubt about it."

"Better off without whom?" Rae's voice cut into her thoughts and Jo jumped in her seat. "Honey, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Rae hurried across and put a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Nothin', I've just been readin' some letters from one of my ancestors, I'll let you see if you would like." Jo could see the interest flaring in her friend's eyes.

"Oh, yes please, I would love to read them, I'm guessing though that you are not a fan of the author or authoress."

"No, I was at first, but somethin' changed her, she became … I don't know, yes, I do, she became a snob."

"In what way? If these are letters to an ancestor of yours then they were written in the deep south, they weren't that forgiving, or considerate from what I've read."

"No they weren't, but if I was havin' this baby out of wedlock would you adopt it from me an' then turn your back?"

"No, of course I wouldn't, but if we were wearing long dresses and hooped petticoats I might." Rae smiled, she would quite like to have a go at wearing the costume of the period, but not all the time.

"Oh, let's forget Victoria an' Elle an' go have some lunch. I hope you are up for barbeque because I can't get near the kitchen to cook right now, too many smells, an' Michael's in England."

"In England?" Rae's voice was instantly wistful, "I haven't been back since Anneya was born, I just haven't had the time."

"But you miss it?"

"Yeah, I do, I miss my mum, my children, I miss them dreadfully, but I also miss all the things I could never understand other people missing, the rain, clotted cream, thatched cottages, and now I'll shut up." Rae had seen her friend pretend to yawn and she had laughed and taken her by the hand. "Let's go eat, Jesse and Eliana cooked breakfast, so I'm starving."

ooo

He'd been through the market and the local shops three times before he got a chance to speak with her. She was obviously looking for something in particular, and as she had gone into a small gift shop she had dropped one of her packages which he had been quick to pick up, but slow to return.

For a moment she had looked around her and Dominic had pretended to be looking in the other direction, then he had gradually turned so that they were facing each other.

"Hi, is this your package? I found it just outside the door?" He held it out with a smile on his face and saw her look appreciatively at him.

"Oh, thank you, thank you so much, I didn't know where I'd dropped it." She took it off him but didn't seem inclined to return to her browsing.

"You look pretty laden down, and all I have are some groceries, let me help you by carrying some of this stuff." He put his hand out to take one of the designer carrier bags that the woman was holding.

"That's ok, I'm sure I can manage." She took a step backwards and two more small packages fell to the floor.

"I don't bite," Dominic smiled, he didn't, it left too many clues, "and I really do think you could do with a hand."

"Ok, thank you, I guess I overdid it a bit with the retail therapy." She put one of the handfuls of bags down, "I didn't mean to be ungrateful."

"Hey, a strange man comes up and gives you gifts, even if they are your own gifts, in this town it could mean anything." Dominic smiled, "my name is Nic, and I'm pleased to meet you."

"I'm Krista, thanks again, I won't be buying much more, this is my last port of call, I have to be thinking about lunch, and getting all these things home." She didn't want to be rude and the man in front of her seemed pleasant enough so Krista smiled as she spoke.

"Well, let me buy you lunch, I need to eat too, and somehow I don't fancy tulips and zucchini right now."

The offer was a welcome one, but Krista hesitated. LA was her hometown and she thought of herself as pretty streetwise. LA was also hazardous though, and she knew the dangers of accepting anything from strangers. For a moment she hesitated, but then feeling suddenly bold she nodded. "Give me five minutes then, I have to buy a gift for my mom, it's her birthday next week and I need to mail it to her." Krista smiled, "I don't suppose?"

"Sure, leave them all with me; I'll just stand here on guard for you." Dominic smiled, "and you will be able to see me the entire time, I won't run off."

"Good, but I don't think most of the stuff is your colour!" Krista smiled again, he was a good looking guy, and he was right, the way the store was set out she would be able to see him the entire time. It would be nice to have lunch with him too, he seemed pleasant, sometimes Los Angeles could be a lonely place, it would be good to make a friend.

ooo

The barbeque was going well, Steve had cooked up a pile of food, which was keeping warm in the pit, and now the four of them were sitting chatting while Eliana and Anneya sat at a smaller table eating their meal too. Daniel had yet to arrive back from the gym and Steve was trying to keep his anger under control. He knew that Jesse and the girls would stay to keep Jo company until Daniel came home, but they shouldn't have to, he'd asked him to do something, and he'd let him down again.

Gradually as the food was all eaten the two little girls came over towards their parents, or in Eliana's case her Uncle Steve. "Peeze, I come up." She smiled at him.

"Sure, you wanna sit on me?"

"Es, peeze." Eliana didn't wait to be lifted but tried to pull herself up. Steve put his large hands underneath her arms and as she collapsed into fits of giggles he carefully positioned her on his lap.

Anneya had gone to her daddy and been picked up immediately, she was obviously very tired and she put her thumb into her mouth and her eyelids began to droop right away.

"Rae, Jesse, it's lovely to have you hear for lunch an' all, an' you know you can come any time, but …"

"You want us to leave?" Rae smiled as she spoke, her eyes sparkling.

"No!" Jo was tempted to stick her tongue out at her friend, and in the end she did so, not wanting her to be embarrassed by her interruption when she knew the real reason for the invitation. "We don't want you to leave, ever, but more than that, we know that as she gets older Anneya is gonna find life increasingly difficult."

"Pardon?" Rae wasn't sure how the conversation had changed so suddenly, and she began to get a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Rae, I can fumble around this for ever, so I'll just say it. We want to give you Oak Place, so that you have your own home, your own base, so that whatever happens in the future Anneya will have that security in her life, Eliana too."

Rae had her hand over her mouth, she had no idea what to say, or how to respond, and so she sat in silence, trying to get her head round the fact that her best friend had just offered her and her family a multi million dollar property in Beverly Hills.


	36. Love Hurts and Heals

Chapter 36 Love Hurts and Heals

"Texas, I … I don't understand, you want to give us Oak Place?" Rae knew it hadn't been that difficult to comprehend, but she wanted to hear her friend say it one more time.

"Yes, I've talked it over with Steve, an' we are agreed, you love that house, we love you, we want you to have it." Jo smiled at Rae; the conversation with Steve had been short and sweet, just as Jo had known it would be. Steve had told her that it was her house to do with as she pleased, then he had kissed her passionately on the lips and thanked her for asking what he thought.

"Jesse, what do you think?" Rae looked across at her husband, who was staring down at his youngest daughter, now fast asleep on his lap.

"I … I don't know, Rae." He began to speak softly but then realized that it didn't make any difference; he couldn't wake his little girl with words any more.

"Texas, Steve, this is just so generous, but we need to talk about it, I hope you understand." Rae suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, and it wasn't something she was used to feeling, especially around friends as close as these.

"Of course, it's a big thing to throw at you, I understand that, you take all the time you need." Jo was disappointed, but she tried not to show it, she stood up and then the six of them made their way back into the house and through to the hallway.

"Steve, I'm gonna go into the station tomorrow instead of today. I wasn't scheduled to go in until then anyway, that's ok isn't it?" Rae looked at her partner and saw him nod.

"Yeah, I may do the same, seeing as Daniel hasn't made an appearance yet." Steve let go of Eliana's hand and checked his watch again, it was now a little after two and he was getting extremely annoyed. So far he had resisted the temptation to call Kelly's Gym, not wanting to spoil Jo's big surprise, but if the boy didn't turn up in the next thirty minutes he would do just that.

"Texas, thank you, whatever we decide, thank you so much." Rae took her friend into a hug and kissed her gently on the cheek, I love you too, very much." Rae then looked at Steve, what she felt for him went further and deeper than she could ever explain, he smiled at her and she went over towards him, moved into his arms and he held her tight. "Thank you, Steve; I don't know what else to say." She stood on tiptoe and kissed her partner on the cheek, she felt his lips as they brushed her face in return and she enjoyed his closeness for just a few seconds more before she turned back to her husband. The happiness and security she felt emanating from her friends dipped a little as she realized that Jesse couldn't bring himself to join in with her. He stood, Anneya still in his arms, awkwardly waiting for Rae to walk home with him.

The journey back to Oak Place was a quick one, Anneya was fast asleep in her stroller and Eliana, who must have realized that there was something going on, had remained almost totally silent since they had come in from Jo's garden. They walked back through the gates of the house that could be theirs and Jesse watched as his eldest daughter ran from him onto the grass and then he looked at the building itself, it was beautiful, quite old, the patterns which had been put into the brickwork catching his eye as they'd always done. Suddenly he had to speak, had to have his say. "Rae, what are we doing?"

"Pardon? Oh, well, we're going to go inside and talk over what Texas just said."

"Why?" Rae had touched him, held him in her arms, but he still hadn't touched her, not since she had hurt her hand and he had been in doctor mode and afterwards when it had somehow seemed easier, but now, very slowly he reached out and rested his own hand on her arm.

"Why? Because we have to talk about it, we can't not." Rae felt his touch and reveled in it.

"No, I mean why are we coming home to talk about it, you love this house, I love this house, why on earth would we talk about it, why can't we just say yes?" Jesse looked at her, he suddenly wanted to laugh with her, to pick her up and swing her around, they had just been offered the perfect way to begin to rebuild their shattered lives and they were going to talk about it, he couldn't believe they needed to do that.

Rae looked at him, something was different, something had changed, she had no idea what, but if the house was a way to start their healing process then she would take it, in the way it was offered, with both hands. As she laughed Rae looked over at Eliana, she had sat down on the grass and she was picking daisies and throwing them up into the air, Rae was about to join her daughter when she heard Jesse laugh too.

"My God, look Rae, this is our house, but even if we had just been given a shack by the nearest creek I would still want it if … if," Jesse stopped talking, scared almost to say what was in his mind.

"If what? Jesse?" Rae forgot her little girl instantly, she was suddenly frightened; frightened that his mood had changed back to the unreadable one and she wasn't going to like what he wanted to say.

"If I was going to share it with you." There he'd said it, now he just had to wait.

"Oh, Jess." Rae moved closer to him, she wanted him to take her into his arms, to kiss her, touch her, anything, but she knew that she couldn't push him, and so she just smiled. "I guess we'd better go and tell them, hadn't we?"

"In a minute, just give me a minute." Jesse looked at her; he had never gotten over how beautiful he thought she was, or the fact that she loved him. He didn't need the house, or anything else, but he did need her, and his children, and suddenly he needed something else, he needed to be close to her, physically close, so he held out his arms and she moved into them, and then he was kissing her, his hands running through her hair, her body molded against his, and Jesse knew that wherever they had been standing he would have been home.

ooo

The hallway had seemed suddenly empty and very cold. Jo shivered and was relieved when Steve took her into a hug. "Honey, it's a big thing you offered, and I know you wanted them to say yes right away, but they have to talk it over, just the two of them."

"Why? She's my best friend, I just want to help." Jo had tears on her face now; she was so disappointed that it hadn't gone like she had imagined it would. She had thought that Rae would have just said yes, would have laughed, and then the papers could have been signed, the house and everything in it would have been hers and her family's and everything would have been light and happy.

"Shhh, it's ok, I know whatever happens Rae will never forget what you did for her, or offered to do for her, and you have to remember that." Steve leant his head against hers, the hair that he loved so much soft against his cheek. He could feel and hear Jo trying to get herself under control and so he gently began to rub circles on her back, "Come on, let's go and sit in the morning room, the sun is still out, we can look at your winter garden and just be together."

Jo nodded, not trusting her voice to hold. Steve was right, she knew that, but it still didn't make her feel any better. The sun shining through the window did though, and gradually, as she rested in her husband's arms, she began to see things with Rae's eyes. To be offered something as enormous as a house by anyone was probably a little out of the ordinary, but they lived in Beverly Hills, in a mansion and someone just handed them it on a silver platter. "I guess what I did was kinda scary, huh?"

For a moment Steve wasn't sure what his wife was talking about, but then he realized and nodded his agreement. "Yeah, it was, but your money has always been kinda scary to me, and I'm still here." Steve gently ran his thumb down the side of his wife's face, the smoothness of the skin warming him more than he could explain.

"You don't think I offended them do you?" the thought hadn't occurred to her until that moment, and she was suddenly worried.

"No, no I certainly don't think you did that. I've seen Rae when she's been offended, she was fine. Shocked, but fine." There didn't seem to be much use for words after that and for ten minutes or so Steve and Jo curled up together on the deep and comfortable sofa enjoying each other's company, just the two of them together in their house, which meant so much to both of them.

The sudden ringing of the doorbell broke the spell that they were under and they got up to see who was calling. The faces of Rae and Jesse could be seen beaming through the glass and Steve took the last few steps at a run to open the door and let them in and then Jo got the moment she had been wanting.

"Yes! Texas, yes, we want to say yes!" Rae was almost bouncing up and down and both Steve and Jo could see where Eliana got it from.

Rae was the happiest and most excited that Jo could remember ever seeing her friend, but there was more than just that, more than just the offer of the house, and as she looked over at Jesse she could see that something had changed there too, and when she held her arms out to him he came over to her and hugged her tight.

"Thank you, Jo, I am so sorry, I … I'm sorry." He tried to pull away but Jo held him fast.

"Oh no you don't, don't you dare try an' hide away again, you are settin' yourself free, I can see it in your face, you stay out here in the real world with the rest of us, we need you."

"Jo!" Steve tried to catch her eye, scared that she might say the wrong thing but his fear was brushed away when Jesse turned to him.

"No, Steve, she's right, I can't run and hide any more, but now isn't the time, that can be discussed again. We came right back because we realized we were going to go talk about something that we both wanted so much it was crazy to stay away any longer than we already had. So we're back and I want to say yes too, yes please, Jo, Steve …" This time his words ran out not because he was scared, but because the happiness inside was threatening to overwhelm him. Jesse held out his hand to Steve, and when he took it found himself enveloped in a bear hug. No words were spoken, but none were necessary, and Jo and Rae watched as the two men, who would never normally reveal their true feelings in the presence of others, showed, without the words they found so difficult, that once again their friendship had survived.

ooo

The coffee shop was crowded with Saturday shoppers and Dominic and Krista sat at a table by the door. He knew that she was the one, maybe closer than any of the others had ever been, and he was being very careful not to say, or do, anything that might frighten her off. He would have preferred a smaller, less popular, venue for their getting-to-know-you drink, but he also knew that because he was so successful, so all-powerful, it was fine this way.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Krista took a sip of her coffee, she was suddenly very aware that what she was doing was probably extremely silly and her previous bravado and confidence ebbed a little.

"Not a lot right now. I've been living in San Fran, haven't been here long, I'm just looking around, hoping that something will leap up and be just what I need."

"Oh, right." She looked at him, he seemed so nice, and as she took another drink she tried to remember what the guy killing blondes looked like. The artist's impression, which had appeared in the paper, could have been anyone. It was wise to take precautions she knew that, but since Derek had finished with her she had been too careful, she wanted some fun and what were the chances of her finding the nutcase?

"And you, what do you do?" Dominic could see her turning things over and over in her mind, and he wanted to get the conversation on a friendly footing.

"I'm a model, photographic, not catwalk. Mostly for my hair, I've done shampoo commercials too. Sometimes they just used shots of my hair, sometimes it was all of me."

"You know, I used to have a neighbor and she worked in catering, she did the meals which were photographed for magazines. You wouldn't believe some of the tricks they used." Dominic smiled again, finally a subject they could talk about together. He knew that he needed to get Krista to relax; he also knew that apart from taking a passing interest in her hair he shouldn't mention it.

"So, do I want to know or will it put me off food for life?" Krista had finished her coffee and Dominic raised his hand indicating to the waitress that they needed her assistance.

"Well, it depends. Some of the things were just for show, well all of them really." He paused for effect, "You know the high shine on certain pastries?"

"Yeah, not that mine ever look that way." Krista liked to cook, and she thought she was good at it, too.

"Try using varnish." Dominic smiled as he spoke, he loved telling this tale, it always got good results.

"What floor varnish?" Krista looked horrified. "Oh, yuck."

"Yep, floor varnish. I always thought working on those food shoots must be a dream job, you would get to eat everything at the end, but after what she told me, well, I went right off the idea."

"So, what else? That can't be the only one." The fears were diminishing now, and as the waitress arrived instead of asking for her bill, which is what Krista had planned to do, she let Dominic order her another coffee.

"Ok, do you cook soufflé?"

"Not when I have guests, and I'm guessing you're going to tell me how to stop it from collapsing into a little soggy heap."

This time Dominic not only smiled, he nodded too. "What you do is this. You still have to be quick, but instead of rushing to the table with it, you slice off the top with a very sharp knife and then stuff the inside with cotton balls, then you put them in the top as well and put it back on the base. Hey presto an un-floppable soufflé."

"But even if that were edible, which it isn't, you would then have a cold soufflé! They never look that way in the pictures." Krista was enjoying herself now, her coffee was half drunk again, but she wasn't interested in it any longer, the company was good, it was light hearted, and she was in no hurry to get home.

"Ah, then let me share with you my final piece of inside knowledge for the time being. If you want to take a picture of a meal that looks piping hot you get some poor little minion to stand just out of sight of the camera and puff cigarette smoke gently in the direction of the meal. When the pictures are developed you have a plate full of food that is steaming." Dominic blew softly and the steam rising from Krista's cup shuddered as it made its way skywards.

"The whole world is made up of the phony and the fake. Whatever happened to what you see is what you get? I can have my hair superimposed onto someone else's head in a magazine advertisement and three or four pages further along there is a picture of a beautiful meal which is totally inedible."

"Yeah, and in between there will be pages with photos of the rich and famous with their warts and all airbrushed out!" Dominic shook his head. He liked the world of the lie and the falsehood; it made his life far more interesting and his quest easier to follow.

ooo

The legal papers had all been signed, Jo had given Rae and Jesse the deeds to Oak Place and then Steve had brought out a bottle of very good champagne and a bottle of very ordinary non alcoholic wine for Rae and some milk for Eliana who had drunk it all down in one go, climbed onto the sofa and fallen asleep. They had toasted each other and a future of happy neighborly relations and were just sitting down in the morning room with the prospect of spending a relaxing late afternoon and early evening together when the phone rang in the hallway and Steve, with a sigh, got up and went to answer it.

"You know, I can't get used to seeing Steve answer the phone, it's just not right." Rae was sitting next to Jesse but they weren't touching. The fact didn't worry her, he had come a long way again today towards becoming the man she had married, and she knew that soon she would be able to cuddle up into his arms in the evening and just enjoy his company.

"I do have a butler for more than just answerin' the phone you know!"

"Oh we know, he gets the door too, and sometimes even the mail." Jesse's eyes were sparkling and his voice was light and free.

Jo stuck her tongue out at him and was just about to make another comment when they all heard Steve raise his voice in the hallway.

"What? Kelly, slow down … no, of course, I don't and you know that … I can, but maybe this time he should actually have it done to him for real … never mind I'll explain it to you another time … That isn't the point … Kelly … no, I guess I wouldn't have done … ok, ok, I'll be there, but don't expect me to be nice … yeah, bye." The phone was slammed into its cradle and then Steve strode back into the morning room and hurled himself into his chair.

"I think it's time we took these two young ladies home." Jesse began to get to his feet but Jo shook her head.

"No, Jess, it's ok. You don't have to go. I'm guessin' that was somethin' to do with Daniel." Jo watched her friend sit back down and then looked at her husband as he nodded his head.

"Which one of us said it was a good idea to let him to go Kelly's gym?"

"You, darlin' if I recall correctly."

"Actually I think it was you who suggested it … anyhow that's immaterial now. Apparently he's been a real pain all day and he just punched Doug's lights out, and sent him to the hospital."

"What?" Jo jumped to her feet, but the quickness of her movements coupled with the newness of her pregnancy made the entire room begin to swim, "Ohhh." She felt Jesse's arm go around her and she leant gratefully against him.

"Jo, it's ok, sit back, that's it, lower your head, it's all right," the calmness of his voice and the feeling of the chair underneath her helped Jo to relax, and she felt Jesse crouch down beside her. "Before you, or that worry wart of a husband asks, this is quite normal, you just moved too fast, but I'll check you out in a minute. For now just breathe, slowly and evenly, that's it. Wonderful, there you go." Gently Jesse rubbed his hand in a circle on Jo's back, and then looked up into the extremely worried face of his best friend. "Wanna carry on with this while I go get my bag, then we can try to solve your other problem too?" Jesse stood up and moved back so that Steve could take his place, he turned to his own wife and smiled at her. "Honey, I'll be back in a minute, I just need to pop home." He smiled as he spoke; when he opened the door and entered Oak Place he would be the owner. Suddenly he knew that for the first journey he couldn't go alone. "Rae, grab Eliana, come with me. Guys we'll be back." He carefully turned the stroller and then the Travis family went home.

ooo

Daniel was prowling up and down in the very small office area of the Never Say Die Gym when Steve drew up in the parking lot. He watched his son for a second before climbing out of the car and then, trying very hard to keep his temper down where it belonged, he made his way towards the entrance.

The Venetian blind rattled and flapped as Steve opened and closed the door, causing the boy to turn and stare at him. Daniel's hands were stuffed into the pockets of his sweat pants, but Steve knew they were held in tight fists.

"Tommy won't let me go back into the gym, and Maddie won't even speak to me!" Daniel's voice came out in a torrent of hurt and for a second Steve felt for him.

"I'm not surprised, you flattened one of your best friends, which means there is no way Tommy will let you in, and Maddie is his sister for goodness sake, what did you expect her to do, applaud?" Just for a second Steve thought he saw embarrassment on his son's face, but it was a fleeting emotion. "Is Kelly still here?"

"No, he took Maddie to the hospital." The hands were still in the pockets, and the tone of voice was getting more and more hard done by.

"Tommy?" Steve looked around and then saw Daniel nod his head in the direction of the gym area. "There had better be a damn good reason for all of this." Steve watched as Daniel moved closer to the entrance to the main gym. He didn't want him with him when he spoke to Tommy. "Daniel, sit. I will be back, don't move until I've tried to straighten some of this out."

"No, Sir." Daniel sat down, and Steve shook his head, there was no respect in the boy's words, just a belligerence that Steve was getting very sick of. He walked through to the larger open space where the boxers and younger kids worked out and practiced. There were two extremely large men sparring in the ring, another two working on a punch bag, which, it seemed to Steve, they were showing very little mercy.

Over in the corner emptying the contents of one of the larger wastebaskets into a black sack stood Tommy Anders. He was tall, slim but muscular, with blonde hair that had a habit of flopping into his eyes at the wrong moments. Steve watched him for a minute, remembering the boy he had put under Kelly's wing, knowing that if he blew the chance he was being offered then it would be juvie or worse. Daniel had already gone that route, spending six months in juvenile hall before coming to live with him and Jo.

"Hey, Steve, I'm sorry we had to call you." Tommy smiled; Steve Sloan had saved his life, not medically, but definitely in every other way. "We tried to keep him grounded, but to be honest I'll be glad to see the back of him today."

"Tommy, he shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place, and in any case he was supposed to be home by half past twelve at the latest."

"Oh." Tommy shook his head. He'd always thought Daniel appreciated just what a strong family network he'd moved into, but maybe he was wrong. "If I'd known that I would have put him on the bus myself. Steve, whatever's wrong with him? He seemed fine, and then one day, bang."

"One day, as in not this day?" Steve was suddenly concerned that this wasn't the first time Daniel had pulled this type of stunt.

"He's been getting a little wild lately. We know wild, Steve, we deal with it all the time, normally we have an idea what's behind it, but not this time."

"What sort of wild? I know it too, but I thought he liked coming here."

"Yeah, me too. I don't know, it started small; a comment here and there, we either let it go or just had a quiet word. It was never enough to call you guys. But gradually, he's been getting worse, a low punch, not stopping when a towel is thrown, you know the thing." He trailed off, he'd been wild himself in the past, but he hadn't had Steve Sloan as a dad.

"Tommy, I'm real sorry, I won't let him come back until he gets his act together." Steve felt dreadful, he had been thrilled to show his son the gym, and delighted when he had started to attend regularly, but now the whole thing was leaving a very bad taste in his mouth, and he, like Tommy, had no idea why.

"No, Steve, don't do that, don't ban him altogether, Kelly gave him a week's suspension, let that do for now."

He thought for a moment before agreeing, maybe discipline from someone other than himself would be a good thing. "Ok, and thanks." Slowly, Steve moved back towards his son, calling out his goodbyes over his shoulder as he did so, trying to work out what he was going to say and do in a situation that was rapidly moving out of his control.

ooo

Rae had stayed at home and let Jesse return to see Jo alone. She had enjoyed walking through their front door with him and their children, and he had held on to her hand tightly as they did so. Her first job had been to file away the deeds to the house until she could get them to her lawyer. Gilbert had represented her in the past, but he was Texas's lawyer, and he charged very high rates. She and Jesse still had a very good firm representing them, but they didn't need a bank loan each time they put in a call.

Anneya had been fast asleep, but had stirred as Rae parked the stroller in the front hallway. She began to cry, not a full-blown wail but more of a whine and Rae had carefully put her hand on her daughter's arm before she picked her up so that she didn't startle her. It was almost half past four and Rae didn't want Eliana or Anneya to sleep any longer. Her eldest daughter had woken up as soon as Rae had tried to pick her up off Texas's sofa, but she was still looking bleary eyed.

Rae decided that the best thing to do would be to play and read stories for an hour or so, then cook dinner and do baths. The girls would be in bed a little after seven and hopefully she and Jesse could have a pleasant evening together in their new home.

For once things had gone just as Rae planned, and by eight the dishwasher had been loaded and was chugging happily in the kitchen, the upstairs bedrooms were quiet and Jesse and Rae were sitting in the breakfast room. By ten Rae had done a little work and Jesse had cleared some files and updated others. When all the papers had been put away, as well as the storybooks and games, both of them had sat in silence, just enjoying the good fortune that had befallen them. Finally though Jesse had turned towards Rae and smiled warily. "I guess it's time to go to bed, huh? You have to work tomorrow, and I have even more notes and papers to get up to date."

Rae nodded, she didn't want to ask Jesse where he was going to sleep, but every inch of her was crying out for him to come into the same room as she did. They turned off the lights, locked the main door, set the alarm and began to climb the stairs. As Jesse got to the top he turned and looked back down to the floor below, the small red flashing light of the alarm was the only thing breaking the darkness, but still he smiled and felt a sense of well-being settle on him.

Rae was already on the landing so she opened the bedroom door and walked in. All the time she was treading on eggshells, not wanting to put any pressure on Jesse, but what she was really doing was putting that extra pressure onto herself instead. Rae turned from where she was standing on the soft bedroom carpet and watched with relief as Jesse came into the room behind her. She smiled and so did he.

"This is alright isn't it?" He sounded unsure of himself, and Rae nodded her head.

"Jesse, this is where you belong, you know that." Suddenly she was tired, her whole body was calling out for rest and she must have looked it because Jesse moved closer to her.

"You should be going to sleep, not talking to me, come on, don't bother with a shower, just get undressed and get into bed; I'll try not to disturb you."

Rae did as she was told and a few minutes after she had snuggled down under the covers her eyes began to close and she drifted off to sleep. Jesse watched her, the way her hair now fell over her shoulders, the slight tilt of her chin, the softness of her skin, as she lay fast asleep. The sense of security he had felt the previous night came back to him and he put his arm around her before he too closed his eyes, and gradually fell asleep.

ooo

Jo had prepared dinner after Jesse had given her a clean bill of health and told her that it was just as he suspected, she had gotten up too quickly, had drunk a small amount of champagne and was also worried about her son. The three together had proved too much and she had felt dizzy for a minute, but there was nothing to worry about.

For the second night in a row the evening meal in the Sloan household had been a tense and unfriendly affair. Daniel had been sent to his room as soon as he and his dad got back from the gym and he had been told in no uncertain terms that he was grounded until further notice.

Now as she dished up the chicken and rice dish that she had made along with a helping of collard greens for each of them Jo tried to tell herself that there was nothing going on that needed to concern her until after they'd eaten. The look of hurt fury on her husband's face told her otherwise, but she hadn't been able to get him to talk to her as she prepared the dinner and she didn't really want another argument across the table at this meal.

"Don't give me any of that green stuff, I won't eat it." Daniel's tone was disrespectful and he stared his father down, as if daring him to say something about it. He wasn't disappointed.

"You will eat what is put in front of you, or I will serve it up again at breakfast." The words came out in such a controlled manner that Jo looked up from what she was doing, knowing that any minute her husband was going to blow.

"Well, you better be happy to do it over and over again, because I'm not eating that stuff, it stinks."

"Ok, fine, you don't eat the greens you don't get the chicken or the rice either. Jo, don't dish out any more; you can slide what you already had for Daniel onto my plate. And you, young man, I suggest you go to your room right now and stay there until you have worked out just why you are acting this way." Steve found that he had to keep such a tight rein on his temper that he could feel his heart beating in his chest, and his nails as they dug into the palms of his hands.

"Steve, no, he's a growin' boy, I can't let him go off to bed without a decent meal inside him." Jo could feel her emotions beginning to take her over again.

"Yeah, well, there's little chance of that, M's away, you're cooking." Daniel spat out his hurtful comment without ever taking his eyes off his father.

"Ok, that does it. Get up to your room now! I will not have you speak to your mother that way. And I don't want to see or hear you until you decide to become a productive and respectful member of this family again. Now go, before I take you up there myself." Steve stood, his chair crashing backwards as he did so. He could see that Jo was in tears and that just made his fury burn even hotter inside of him.

"Oh, and what are you gonna do, put the cuffs on me? March me up the stairs? Oooh, I'm real scared, Lieutenant, I've had it happen to me before, looks like I'll have it happen again, and you know what? I don't give a damn!" Daniel's chair joined Steve's on the floor as he turned and left the room, once again slamming both doors on the way to his room.

ooo

Rae looked around her, she couldn't see anyone, but she knew that there was danger, danger that no one could protect her from. The deep red carpet underneath her feet told her that she was on the landing, the landing of her new house but it looked different, it felt different, she was scared, why was she scared?

Rae felt for her gun, but it wasn't on her belt, she looked around her, frantically trying to remember where she had put it, and suddenly there it was, on the downstairs hall table, shining like a beacon in the night, and she knew that, to keep everyone safe, she had to get to it. The staircase seemed never ending, but Rae resolutely put her foot on the first step, and then the next and the next. Something else caught her eye; on the balustrades she could see the shiny metal of handcuffs, there were people cuffed to the poles. She ran lightly down, the stairs disappearing from underneath her to be replaced by the black and white tiles of the hallway floor.

"Rae, Rae."

"Rae, help me, Rae."

"Rae, over here."

The voices were familiar and insistent and Rae looked up at the faces of the two men held captive by her staircase. Steve and Jesse were struggling to get free, she could see the pain in their faces as they fought against the metal around their wrists, and she knew she had to get the key. "The kitchen, I'll try the kitchen." Her voice sounded loud in her ears, and she began to make her way across towards the door that she knew went into her kitchen.

Texas was standing there, a pile of papers in her hand, "Now, Honey, you know you have to sign all of these in triplicate before I can even think of lettin' you in here." The pen that Rae found in her hand was clumpy and old fashioned. She took the documents from her friend and put them down where the gun had been, it wasn't there any longer, and the pile of papers seemed to grow in height in front of her.

"Momma, Momma, talk to me, Momma." Anneya was there too, holding her arms up, wanting to be picked up, needing the comfort that Rae couldn't give her, she needed to get to the kitchen, get the keys, so that she could free her husband, that way he would love her again, he would be able to hug her and hold her close. She had to do that first.

"Wait a minute, Baby, Mommy has to sign these, she has to help Daddy." The pile didn't seem to be getting any smaller, but Anneya was getting louder and larger. Suddenly the papers were gone, the desk was bare and she turned, ignoring the cries of her little girl and crashed in through the kitchen door only to find that she wasn't home, not any more, she was outside, but Jesse was there, a knife in his hand, and behind him the garage he had been kept in was in ruins. He came towards her, the blade glinting in the sunlight as he did so, and she screamed.

"Rae, Honey, it's alright, it's just a dream." His wife moving around in the bed next to him had woken Jesse. First of all he had wondered whether she was feverish, the tossing and turning reminding him of those kinds of movement, but he realized as soon as he tried to touch her that she was in the middle of a nightmare. She wasn't calling out, but her hands were moving, jerking, he didn't know what she was doing, but something was obviously bothering her. Her feet had been moving, as if she was running, or at least moving fast, but now they had stopped, and then suddenly with a noise that reached into his very soul Rae screamed.

Jesse didn't know what to do, Rae wasn't awake, or she didn't seem to be, and he didn't want to scare her. Gently he placed a hand over one of hers moving on top of the covers, it was scrabbling, pulling at the sheets, but there didn't seem to be any reason for what she was doing. The screaming had stopped, and as soon as he touched Rae's skin the movements stopped too.

Someone had touched her, she was outside on her own, just as she had been in the house, there had been a knife, Jesse had been there with a knife, but as soon as the person had touched her he had disappeared, and so she carefully turned around to find him standing there, no danger to her, or to himself any longer, and as she moved towards him she spoke his name.

"Jesse." Slowly she opened her eyes, trying to focus on the face she had seen in her dream, and as she did so she heard him.

"Rae, I'm here, right here." His voice was soft, his touch was gentle, she turned to him, her body beginning to shake and without even thinking what he was doing he took her in his arms and held her close, not wanting to let her go ever again.

ooo

The scene had been perfect, a quiet park, a bench underneath a dusty street light which only put out a hazy glow, Krista had accepted his invitation to dinner at the end of a very friendly and enjoyable lunch. She had arranged to meet him at a small Chinese place he had read about and he had almost killed her right there when he saw how delectable she looked. Her hair was held back off her face with a tortoiseshell barrette but it only pulled back the hair above her ears, the rest still fell in a beautiful golden curtain down her back, past the waist of her dark cream pants and resting on the top of her gently curved behind.

Krista had also had on a dark blue shirt, silk Dominic had thought, which caught the light in a way that made it seem like a peacock feather.

They had chatted and laughed their way through dinner, wondering how the photographers would improve on the visual appearance of the meals they had chosen. The food had been beautifully cooked and presented and the evening had been a pleasant one.

Now though, as her lifeblood spilt out onto the path and into the water, Dominic collected up her belongings ready to make his way back towards his car. He had known that she was special, had thought all afternoon, as he had rested in his apartment, what he was going to do, and it had all gone exactly to plan. The meal, the walk in the park until they had found a dark and reasonably secluded spot, where they had sat together, talking, being friendly, no pressure or perceived danger, all had been just as it should be, and he had even wondered, for a moment, whether to let her go, to have a second or maybe a third date, but he couldn't, the voices which called to him, told him what to do, they were stronger than he was and, as always he'd finished what he had set out to do and, with a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done, he left her without a backwards glance.


	37. Sticks and Stones

**Chapter 37 Sticks and Stones**

Rae had stayed in Jesse's arms, her head resting against his chest for a while, trying to get herself back under control. The shaking gradually stopped, but Jesse could tell that Rae was still extremely troubled and he didn't let go of her. Gently he ran his hand over her hair, wanting to be the one who was helping her to relax and maybe go back off to sleep.

"Jess, we need to talk, well, I need to talk, I can't carry on the way we are." Rae's voice was soft and he had trouble hearing her.

"About what?" Jesse worked out what she said and tried not to tense up as he answered her.

Rae carefully moved so that she could look into her husband's face. "Honey, I don't want to worry you, and I'm not about to shoo you out of the bedroom, or anything like that, but we really have to talk."

"You said that." Jesse felt himself relax a little bit and he too moved slightly until they were facing each other on the bed.

"We started to talk the other night, but then Anneya woke up, and we never got back to it. Jesse, why do I make you think of bad things?" Rae found that she was no longer sleepy, and she sincerely hoped that Jesse wasn't either, their lives were so full that, in bed, in the middle of the night, was about the only time they were alone.

"Because … because …" Jesse stopped talking, before, when he had spat out his accusations, he had wanted to hurt her, wanted to drive her away so that the pain would leave with her, but also he knew that he had wanted her out of harms way too although he hadn't said that to anyone, because if he did, then maybe the bad things would start up again. Now though, now he was home, and knew it was where he belonged, the last thing in the world he wanted to do was to upset her again.

"Because the bad things only happened because of me?" Rae tried to switch her mind to the matter at hand, and not linger on the fact that what she had just said was ungrammatical; she knew she was just avoiding the issue.

"Yes … no, there's more to it than that. You knew, every time you looked at me, you knew all the things that had happened, all … all the things, I made happen and then other things would go wrong, because I saw you." Jesse tried to turn away, he could feel the tears well up in his eyes, he was supposed to be the one reassuring Rae after her nightmare, and now he needed her instead.

"So if I wasn't here, if I had never come, then the bad things wouldn't have come either?" Rae's voice was almost non-existent, the hurt she felt inside almost overwhelming.

Jesse looked away; they were no longer touching, the gap between them on the bed seemingly growing by the second. "Yes, that's it, exactly." Jesse almost felt excited by what Rae was saying, but he could see the pain in her eyes and he tried to change the tone of his voice. "Rae, I'm sorry."

"I'm not sure that you are, and I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to tell me how I made these things happen. I have never done anything but my job, I don't even bring you into investigations like Steve does, Jesse, I don't want you in my work world, I never have. It's dangerous, people get hurt and killed all the time, and I don't want you to be one of them, but in my whole world, I have always wanted you there."

Rae paused, she had never voiced her thoughts about Jesse and the way he worked with Steve, and as she saw the anger cross his features she wished she had kept it that way.

"I don't work with Steve, not any more, not since you came, he hardly ever includes us any more, and that's your fault too!" Jesse's voice had become louder and louder and he stopped suddenly, the childishness of his words catching him by surprise, but he did find it unfair, and her fault. They had been a team, hadn't needed anyone else, and then she had come along.

"No, Jesse, and I would rather you didn't shout at me. It isn't my fault, if anything it is the fault of time; things change, circumstances, people, everything. I could even blame it on you, but I won't. Before I came Steve worked with Cheryl, he also had you, Amanda and Mark whom he **chose** to share things with. Then he met Texas, he had her to talk things through with, if he wanted to, but his home life altered, he had his relationship to work on, and then a wife, who used to be a cop remember, waiting for him. The need to discuss every little nuance of each case was gone, and so he gradually stopped doing it. Things don't stay the same and, thank goodness, we can't turn the clock back either. You have to accept that you, and all of those you care for the most, aren't the people they were five or six years ago, and they never will be again." Rae stopped talking, but she still kept her eyes on her husband. What she said was true, every word of it, but she wasn't sure how he would take it.

"But I don't want it to change; I want it to be like it was." The words tore at Rae and she wanted to move closer to him but she restrained herself.

"Why? Is what we have so awful that you wish it away? Because if you do then Eliana and Anneya would go too, all the good times, and we have had some wonderful times, they would disappear as well. I thought … I thought you were here because what we had … have, is worth fighting for, maybe I was wrong."

"You know I wouldn't wish the girls away, but … I … I talked to Amanda, when Anneya was so sick, and she told me that nothing that had taken place was anyone's fault … but … but everything happened like they told me it would, every time."

"Who? Who told you?" Rae wasn't sure whether they were still talking about the same thing or not, so she waited, wanting to find out what was going on, but scared as well.

"It was a long time ago, before you came, Steve and I went away, together, for a weekend at a cabin in the hills, but he went back into town, I … I don't remember why, and I stayed."

"I know this, we talked about it, just before Levington …" Rae stopped; Levington had come, almost killed Jesse and taken her. _Bad things happen._ Jesse had said that, had said that if he told then bad things would happen just as they had warned him. "Jesse, it was coincidence, there is no way that anyone could have known that you had spoken to me about Tr … Tro … whatever his name was."

"So how did Werner know? Did you tell everyone at the station? Did you have a good laugh at my expense?"

"Jesse!" Rae was hurt again by his words. "I have never discussed anything that happens between us at the station, unless it was something nice that maybe the girls did, or general everyday things. Whatever it was that that creep Werner knew, he sure didn't get it from me."

"But he said the same things as … as whoever was with me the first time. Trask, I think it was Trask."

"Honey, if you told all this to Amanda then she probably tried to explain things too, but you have to realize that, in certain circumstances, good and bad, people say the same things." Rae paused for a moment. "If I was to kidnap you," Rae stopped talking as she saw the effect her words had on him, "Jesse, I'm sorry. Ok, if you were going to kidnap me, and you wanted to put the fear of God into me, how would you do it?"

"I … I don't know… I don't want to know." Jesse tried to move back away from Rae, but he could feel the side of the bed underneath him and so he had to stop.

Rae realised that Jesse wasn't just on the edge of the bed but also the edge of panic. "I need to go get a drink of water. Honey, I don't want to upset you, or scare you or anything, but we have to get this out into the open. I'm gonna check on the girls too, but then I will be back, try to relax while I'm gone, do all those things you and Mark are always telling me to do, ok?" She tried a smile, but only got a nod in return.

Jesse watched her put her robe on and leave their room; he moved slightly from the edge of the bed, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The scene that came up in his mind surprised him and he heard himself gasp. The garage was in rubble and burning around him, he could hear sounds, voices, and he was deeply scared and ashamed at the same time. They would find him, find out that he had let them all down, Steve, he had failed him because Werner mutilated his wife, and Rae, she would know that underneath it all he was a coward, Mark, Amanda, they would know too, that it was all a front, that when it came right down to it, he was helpless.

"Jess?" Rae had come quietly back into the room and found, to her dismay, that her absence hadn't seemed to help, but then, as she looked at her husband's anxious face, he smiled as if remembering something, it wasn't a grin or even a full smile, but there was something in it that she recognized, and loved.

"Jesse, can I get back into bed?" Rae didn't want to scare him, she wasn't even sure if he was fully awake, but as she spoke again his eyes opened and he looked up at her.

"You came, you found me, and you saved me." Jesse reached out his hand and Rae, puzzled again, but not about to turn down his offer, climbed in beside him.

"You mean at the garage? Of course, you would have looked for me; I just did the same for you. Jesse, I love you, I thought you knew that." Rae sandwiched his hand between her own, she didn't want him to pull away from her, but she knew that he might well have to.

"I … I do, and I wanted you to find me so badly, but I was ashamed, so very ashamed."

Rae's heart began to break all over again, and she tried to feel as Jesse had felt when she saw him amongst all the rubble. "You seemed relieved when I found you, just for the minute before you lost consciousness, but … you never seemed that way again."

"I was, I saw your face, and I … I," Jesse paused, this was hard, this was stuff he'd not even thought about since he had come home, and now he had to talk about it. "He mutilated her, Rae, cut off her finger, and there was nothing I could do," Jesse pulled his hand free from Rae's grasp and touched his neck and she knew what he was thinking.

"Jesse, I know, you don't have to say." Rae could understand, could empathize with him totally, because she had already been there, and for a second her own fear of having anything around her neck threatened to overwhelm her.

"They chained me up, and then used the chain to … to pull me about, I … I tried to get to her, I really did, but … they made me watch, they made me watch as they cut her finger off. And each time I saw you, I remembered the feelings, the relief, but even more, the failure, and I had to get away, don't you see? It was your fault I felt that way, and that was why … why I couldn't be with you any longer." Jesse felt exhausted, he knew he had probably hurt her again, but he also felt better for having finally told her.

For a long while the room was totally silent, Rae laid, the picture of her husband, bloodied and bleeding in the rubble, staying stubbornly in the front of her mind, trying to marry his feelings with her own when she had been in similar situations. Jesse had closed his eyes, he wanted to think of happy things, but there had been precious few of them lately and his mind returned to the thoughts and fears that almost constantly seemed to batter at him.

The shame had, in many ways, seemed secondary to his other feelings, the fear, the anger, but he realised now, for the first time, that everything was linked together, that the need to apportion blame was a way to push that shame and failure onto others. But he also realised that neither of the people he had used felt he had failed them in any way and that realization would, he knew, help him exorcise his other demons too if only he would let it.

ooo

The Sunday dawned, as most days in Los Angeles did, bright and clear. It was chilly, or at least chilly for Southern California, but it was only a few days to Thanksgiving and, at just after eight in the morning, it was a little over 50 degrees Fahrenheit. The walk from the airport to the waiting taxis made the Chief shiver a little, he had enjoyed the balmy temperatures of Barbados, and knew that in the next hour or two he would no longer feel the cold, but right at this moment he hoped that there wouldn't be too long a wait for transportation.

Callum Edwards and his wife had smiled at him as they boarded the plane, not recognizing him as anyone other than a guest at the same hotel. He had been three or four rows behind them on the flight, but had heard them check with the steward where they needed to go at LAX to fly on to Santa Barbara. Knowing that they were heading home John Masters had decided to do the same thing himself. He felt vaguely voyeuristic following around a young couple as they spent their vacation together, and he needed to get back to his own home with his own things around him so that he could rid himself of that uneasy sensation.

The Chief hadn't expected to relax while he had been away, but the resort, and the fact that he couldn't follow the Edwards's the entire time, had seen to it that he had indeed had a very pleasant time. The golf had been wonderful; nine holes which, bearing in mind how rarely he got to play these days, had stretched him considerably. The swimming too had made him feel alive in a way that hadn't happened for a while. The only thing to mar the time was the arguments that the Edwards's had on a regular basis. Callum seemed to be quite laid back, happy to kick off his shoes, get down in the sand and knock around with his son, but Mrs Edwards had appeared to want nothing more than to cause friction, forever criticizing both her husband and just about anything else she could think of, and in the end getting her way when Callum flared up and let her know just how he felt.

"Do you want that taxi, or can I take it?" The voice cut into his memories and the Chief jolted back to reality.

"I'm sorry?"

"The cab, do you want it, because otherwise I will use it?" The woman beside him looked up and up, and he tried not to stare, which was difficult as she had blue hair, and her glasses were rimmed with gold to match an almost bewildering array of expensive looking chains, brooches and rings.

"No, Ma'am, you go right ahead, I'll take the next one." John was sure that if she waited any longer he would have at least a mugging on his hands, and he just wasn't in the mood to be too much of a good citizen.

As he waited for the next vacant cab, which he fully intended to use, he went over what he needed to do when he got home. Rae, he would have to contact Rae first, she would need to know that their number one suspect was on the way home, in fact was probably almost home right now, he had checked, and it only took forty minutes to fly from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara. He would have to get back into work mode, and surprisingly that was, he felt, going to be harder than he had imagined it would be.

ooo

Breakfast in the Travis household was its usual slightly chaotic weekend self. Jesse wasn't working and Rae didn't plan to go in until about eleven, preferring to work into the evening and spend the morning with her family. The following day the Captain would be back and she would have to adhere to her shift patterns a little more strictly, but for today she had no intention of working any longer than necessary. She knew that Jesse had more to tell her, she could see it in his eyes, but they had both fallen back to sleep after he had begun to open up, the rest more pressing than the discussion.

Sunday mornings, when they were together, which hadn't happened for a while, were spent doing things that the girls wanted to do. It hadn't always been so, but as Eliana had begun to grow and her personality started to shine through both Rae and Jesse found that they wanted to do what she did, wanted to share the special formative years with her and then Anneya as much as they could. What Eliana wanted to do this Sunday morning was watch her new film. So far, Rae thought, she had watched '_Finding Nemo'_ more times than the entire West coast of America, but if it kept her quiet and amused then at least she and Jesse could carry on talking.

To their surprise Anneya had found the cartoon totally fascinating as well, and would sit next to her sister, wide eyed and absorbed as she watched the fast moving animation. Rae tried not to think about the fact that none of the sound was getting through, she also tried to enjoy the moment with her youngest child, but she found it incredibly difficult.

Once they were all seated in the playroom, a bowl of Sunday sweets for the girls on the table, Rae and Jesse started to talk.

"I know you want to carry on from what we said this morning, I … I don't know where to start, so maybe," Jesse paused, he wanted to talk finally, after all this time, it felt good to be able to share things with Rae, even though he knew she was finding it difficult. "Maybe you should ask me a question."

"Ok, if that's the best way of doing it, hold on." Rae smiled, and then she leant over picked up a sweet from the bowl. She tried to keep her daughters away from the candy that they loved, and so Sunday was the only day they were allowed it. Eliana, who was a generous and kind child just smiled as she saw her mommy take a jellybean. "Thanks, Sweetheart, now, Daddy and I have to talk, so you enjoy your movie, ok?"

"K, Mommy." She smiled and then her attention was instantly diverted back to the screen.

Rae had been searching her mind as she used the moment, and now she remembered where they had got to when Jesse had become upset. "I said to you about people using similar words in similar circumstances." Rae stopped, she didn't know what question to ask, and so she waited.

"I don't know what you mean, how do we use similar words?" Jesse had a feeling he sounded a bit dense, and he knew if he thought about it he would probably understand just fine, but he wanted her to take the lead, to show him where the conversation should go.

"I think you do know, but I'll try to explain. When you have bad news to tell a patient, or good for that matter, do you say things the same or do you do it differently each time?"

Jesse thought, for a moment he couldn't remember what he did say, but gradually he could picture himself either standing by the bedside of someone, or sitting in one of the small offices attached to different areas of the hospital and he realised that he did use similar words each time, that they became a crutch as he told difficult news, and a habit if they were used for happier reasons.

"I guess, I guess I do use the same words, it helps, y'know, to do it that way." He tried a small smile; maybe they were getting somewhere right away.

"I do it too, when I have to go see someone to break the news of the death of a loved one, I have set things I say, or do." Rae paused; the smile he had just given her had encouraged her to carry on. "Ok, now, put yourself in the position of say Alex, or Mark, have you heard them do the same things you do?" Rae saw Jesse nod and so she continued, "And do they use the same words?" Again, after a pause, Jesse nodded his head. "So, I know this scared you before, but try and put yourself in the place of a kidnapper, if you wanted them to think that you were gonna let your victim go, there are only a few things you can say. And one of those is," Rae paused as Jesse cut across her.

"That if you tell anyone then either your friends and family or you will be hurt." Jesse began to think, rationally, about what had happened to him in the past. When he had spoken with Amanda he had begun to see things more clearly, but he hadn't been able to get any further along his recovery road since then, maybe because he hadn't spoken to Rae.

"Yeah, exactly. Jesse, I love you, I don't want you to suffer like you have been, but bottling things up, or not talking about them, well that is just going to make things worse. I don't know what to say to help, but I will listen, whenever you want to tell me things."

"But if I tell you things …" Jesse trailed off, he had to get past the fear that bad things would happen, and when he was alone, when he wasn't telling anyone anything then it wasn't as hard any more, but when he had to confront his memories and share them then the fears all rushed back to the surface.

"Jesse, look at me, and listen." Rae waited, he seemed calmer than he had in the night, the scenario she had painted hadn't scared him this time and as he turned slightly on the sofa and looked into her eyes she smiled at him again. "Whatever you say or do, no one, other that those you say it to, is going to know, at least not in the situations you're talking about. Werner didn't know what went on with Trask, but he used the same type of words. You were scared, and rightly so, and they had more of an effect on you than they would otherwise have done."

"I want to believe you, I really do, but I … I love you so much, and that scares me. We talked before and that, that animal took you, he almost killed you, I couldn't save you from that, and when you found me, in the garage, you knew that I hadn't saved Jo either. Whenever it's mattered I've failed you, or Steve." Tears had begun to gather in Jesse's eyes, and Rae realised that they had moved on to another problem.

"Oh, Honey, no one could have saved me from Levington, he was going to get me no matter what anyone said or did. And you did save Texas, you were there, in that awful place with her, you gave her the medical attention she needed, but more than that, you never left her alone."

"I did … don't you see? He gave me the option to leave; he said I could come home, to you, but that if I did then Jo would surely die." Jesse sniffed, he didn't want to cry, not in front of his children, but it would be so easy to just let it all fall apart right now.

"And you stayed, and I know you, you would never have left her, it isn't in your nature. Jesse, I wish I could make you see that you haven't failed, not in any way, shape or form, you couldn't save Jo's finger, but you treated her, and you kept her sane in that place, he hurt you so badly, but you never complained, you … you are beating yourself up for nothing, oh, God, Jesse, please, Honey, don't, don't cry." Rae saw the tears as they began to fall and she couldn't stop her own from falling too. She reached over and touched Jesse on the shoulder and he moved over and against her and, with the movie playing in the background, their tears mingled as, together, they cried.

ooo

Jo had sat up in bed and slowly eaten a dry cracker and drunk a little water. It was a new thing she was trying in the hope that while Miss Prissy Knickers was staying she wouldn't feel the need to throw up each morning. But she had an idea that feeling sick and having _Debs_ to stay probably went hand in hand.

"How are you feeling now?" Steve put his head round the doorframe of their room and looked with concern at his wife.

"I don't know, better I think, can't we just call David an' tell him that now is not a good time to have her come stay?" Jo turned to face her husband, and he shook his head.

"Ah, no, 'fraid not. Did you hear the phone ring just now?" Jo nodded, she'd had a mouthful of cracker and not wanting to spray it across the room had left it for someone else to answer. "Well, that was David, apparently Debs decided she wanted to get here early and so she left Texas at about midnight, and has been sleeping in the plane at LAX. I'm just going to pick her up."

"Oh great, just what I need an entire extra day with her, you couldn't get lost between here an' there, could you?" Jo tried to look hopeful, but had to grin when she saw the look of disgust on her husband's face. "Ok, ok, you like her, an' I don't, go, go, I'll be nice, I promise."

Steve shook his head, it wasn't that he liked her exactly, although he didn't dislike her, he just wanted to make her feel welcome. He didn't know what it was about Debs that had his wife so resolutely against her, but he had a feeling that he may be on damage control for the next seven days.

ooo

Rae arrived at the station a little after eleven thirty to find Cheryl working hard on some of the latest Red Rose Killing details, and for a while they sat together trying to get some information on Dominic Little. Nothing very much had happened however, and finally they had agreed that, however much they wanted to avoid it, they were going to have to start contacting hairdressers.

"I guess we go through the yellow pages, find all the salons and send them a standard letter. There is no way we can visit them all." Rae knew that almost every street and definitely every mall had a hairdressing business, she had hoped to evade the time consuming and brain-numbing job, but there seemed no other way to find this guy.

"Yep, I guess we do, but before that Amanda called for you, and just to make your Sunday so did the Chief." Cheryl looked at her friend, she seemed a little tired and knowing how exhausted she had been just a week earlier was concerned. "Rae, are you ok? You look tired."

"Yeah, I'm fine, I am tired, but Jesse and I talked last night, and I mean really talked, and then again this morning, I think we'll be ok."

Cheryl smiled, although Rae had never said anything she knew that Jesse and Rae had been having trouble, and was delighted that things were getting easier, she was about to speak when Rae carried on talking.

"How about you and Martin? I should have asked before, I'm sorry."

"Rae, your life is never anything but hectic, I know you will ask when you think of it, and if I need to talk I know you will always listen, but he does miss you, a lot. And I don't want you to feel guilty, but when people don't visit he blames it on the way he is, he can't see past that right now." Cheryl felt her throat constrict and she stopped talking. The injuries that Martin had received when Werner was captured had been the worst of anyone, at least in terms of future recovery. He was now in a residential home, paid for by the police federation and the insurance he had taken out, until he and Cheryl could find a house to adapt to his needs.

"I am so sorry, Cheryl, I will make time this week, I promise, he can come over to the house, the girls will be delighted to see him, we can have a barbeque, maybe Friday or Saturday? After Thanksgiving, unless you would like to spend it with us? You would be more than welcome."

"Rae, that would be lovely, and if you really wouldn't mind, we don't have anywhere to go, and, well, something as special as that, he would feel really wanted."

"Cheryl, I don't know what to say, of course he's wanted and you too, any time. I know what it's like to feel the way he does, different, stupid, not as quick as you used to be. I will try to include him in my life as much as I used to."

"Thanks, I …" Cheryl's phone rang as she began to speak and Rae indicated that she would get on with her own work. She moved back towards her desk, taking the long route via the coffee machine.

Once Rae had settled herself with her cup of herbal tea she let her mind float back to when she had last seen Martin in the hospital. He had been in the rehab unit, going out at weekends, and returning to the centre for the week. Anneya was almost well and Rae had felt confident enough to leave her for a while and visit with an old friend. But it had been a traumatic time for both Martin and her, and she hadn't seen him since.

_Rae had needed to take a walk, but when she arrived in the lobby of the hospital she realised that she had absolutely no idea where to go next. Suddenly she had an idea and, walking down one of the long hallways, she headed for the rehab clinic._

_Rae had pulled the sign-in chart at the front desk towards her and waited for the nurse to call through to Martin; as she did so she heard a loud crash coming from the direction of his room, and glancing momentarily at the young woman beside her had rushed towards the noise._

_The nurse and an orderly, who was collecting linens, arrived at the door with Rae, and she took a step back to let them go in first, but when she saw Martin sitting on his bed with tears on his cheeks she'd manoeuvred her way into the room and crouched down in front of him._

_"Martin? Martin, what's wrong?" The sound of her voice, obviously one he hadn't expected to hear, seemed to get through to the man in front of her and he looked up. There was silence for a minute but then, slowly, he spoke._

_"Rae … wh … ou do … here?" _

_Rae looked at the nurse, who smiled and began to speak. "I'll sign you in, Ma'am; can you let me know when you leave … If that's alright, Martin?"_

_"Es … Rae my … frien …" The tears were still on his cheeks and in his voice, but the nurse was rewarded with a lopsided smile._

_The room was neat and compact. Martin had a bed, a desk, and a small table. There was a door leading through to a shower room and toilet as well as another one which went out onto a balcony and overlooked the gardens that had been planted to give those patients in long term care something nice to look at. There was a TV, a video player, and Rae could see a pile of the historical books that Martin favoured on a nightstand by the bed. As the door closed behind the two members of staff Rae pulled the chair from its place underneath the desk and sat down opposite Martin. As she did so Rae saw a broken picture frame on the floor at the end of the bed and a golf club resting in the shattered glass._

_"Did you throw that?" Rae crouched down again and began to carefully pick up the shards and put them into the wastebasket that was nearby._

_"Es … Sorreee." Martin had looked down at his hands, Rae knew that the right one still didn't work properly and she watched as he tried to flex the fingers of it without very much success._

_"I don't play golf myself, but I do know that the bedroom isn't a real good place to practice. Things tend to get broken."_

_Martin smiled. "Stoopid game."_

_"Yeah, a good walk spoilt, isn't that what they say? If you want to practice you can come and do so at my house. I have a large garden; you know that, and no picture frames out there!"_

_"Now? I come now?" Martin's face lit up and he tried to get to his feet._

_"Hey, steady, you need these remember?" Rae picked up the pair of crutches that were at the end of the bed and handed them carefully to her friend. "I have to go back to Anneya in a while, but when she is better, how about you and Cheryl come over for the day if she isn't working? The girls would love to see you both, and … well, I could do with some company sometimes." Rae had known that Cheryl had told Martin about Anneya, and she had mentioned to him, in passing, the problems that she and Jesse were having, he was a good listener, and right now she was glad, it meant that she didn't have to explain it all again._

_"Rae?" Martin's voice was compassionate and as he carefully sat down again she moved back to her chair and took his hands in her own._

_"I could really do with someone, right now, could that be you?" _

_"Sure … friens member?" _

_Rae felt Martin's hand as it grasped her own and with a deep breath she began to talk._

Rae brought herself back to the present; although she had told Jesse that she didn't discuss her home life at work she sometimes needed to unburden herself. Cheryl and Martin were the friends she chose on those occasions when Steve or Texas weren't available or couldn't help, and so she had talked with Martin for a long time that day, not just about Anneya, or Jesse, but all sorts of things, and it had helped, both of them, at least she hoped it had. With a heavy heart though she realised that she hadn't seen or even spoken to him since, and so she scribbled a note on a piece of paper, moved across the room and held it under Cheryl's face as she spoke on the phone. Her reply was a nod and a smile, and so Rae went back to her desk, picked up the phone and called her friend to invite him to dinner.

ooo

Steve opened the front door only to hear raised voices coming from the morning room, and his heart sank. Daniel knew that Jo wasn't looking forward to the visit with Debs, and he had hoped that the boy would have kept their problems locked away out of sight until she left, that obviously wasn't going to be the case though, and so with a deep sigh he put down the two large suitcases, from a total of ten, in the hallway and called out in a loud and exaggerated way to his wife.

"Honey, we're back. Come say hi to Debs."

"Where did you say that Michael was?" Debbie looked around her, the house was beautiful, and she would love to live in it.

"He had to go to London, his mother is very ill, he has been gone a few days, and the last we heard he would be at least another week maybe more."

"Oh, I see, an' what have you done, hired a butler from an agency? Because, darlin', if you have he sure isn't doin' his duty." She continued to look around; there was a film of dust on the banister leading to the second floor and two pieces of paper just beside the wastebasket under the telephone table.

"No, we didn't hire anyone, we're happy to do it ourselves." Steve didn't say that none of them was up to facing Michael's wrath if he came back to find that someone other than the family had been using his kitchen. As he finished speaking Jo and Daniel, both of them looking like thunder came out of the morning room and walked over to them.

"_Debs,_ you are looking wonderful." Jo tried to sound like she meant it, and in a way she did, the pregnancy was obviously suiting Debbie far more than it was her at the moment. The gently swelling stomach of last time had been replaced with a very definite bump. It was about four months since she had found out that Debbie was pregnant, and at the time it had hurt her deeply. In fact she and Jesse had been on the way to the hospital so that he could check her over when they had been taken.

"Thank you, I have to admit, I never thought bein' fat could be so much fun, but I am really enjoyin' this, an' now I get to share it all with you. So, Honey, how are you feelin' with the mornin' sickness an' all?" Debbie moved closer to where Jo was standing and put her hand on her arm.

"Um, I think I will leave you two ladies and Daniel alone, I have to get to work. Jo, I have no idea when I'll be home, but it shouldn't be late." Steve kissed her gently on the cheek and smiled as he heard her talk in his ear.

"If you are late tonight, Cowboy, just don't bother climbin' the stairs, you'll be sleepin' with the dirty laundry!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Steve whispered back before moving away, a smile on his face. "Debbie, I'm sorry, but I really need to get to work, I can't let Rae do it all herself."

"An' you have to go in on a Sunday? I thought you were one of the higher ranked policemen." Debbie looked as if Sunday working was for a lower species than she.

"I am, but I still have to do shifts just like all the other cops, and now I really have to go. Daniel, be good for your mom and your aunt ok?"

The face that the boy pulled made Steve want to laugh all over again. He knew that neither Daniel nor Jo really wanted to spend the day with Debbie, in fact the only person in the house who could face it was him and he was leaving. The irony of the situation amused him, but he kept a straight face. "Bye all."

Jo watched her husband as he waved and walked across the hallway, and as he moved further away she wished with all her heart that she could go with him.

ooo

Rae finished speaking to the Chief, put the phone down and tried to ignore the fact that she had to go to Santa Barbara the next day. She had locked herself away in one of the viewing rooms to go through the security film showing Elizabeth Masters' murder again. There was something about it, she couldn't put her finger on it, but as she had watched it Rae knew, and not for the first time, that she was missing a vital piece of information. The murderer, as he stood there, moved in a strange way, the problem was she still couldn't work out from the back what he was doing. Steve had told her that the man was clicking his neck, which, until he had explained it a little more, hadn't helped at all. The idea of anyone doing that voluntarily had given her the whim whams, and if she was honest it made her feel quite ill. Now though she put her feelings to one side and over and over wound back the vital piece of film, watching as the figure made his strange movement, paused and then pulled the trigger and again and again the wife of the Chief of Police died in front of her. She zoomed in until the killer was just a screen of blurry coloured squares, and still the facts escaped her. Finally with a groan of despair she ran the entire tape back to the beginning, watched it through one more time and then ejected it from the machine. Maybe, when they had met with the Edwards family, something would click into place, _bit like that neck then_, she shuddered at her irreverent thought, and hoped that later in the week she would be able to watch it with fresh eyes. For now though she felt anything but fresh, and she still had another unpleasant duty to perform.

Once she had made her way back to the squad room Rae looked at the information in front of her on the desk. The murder from the previous Friday had gone out of her mind whilst she was at home, but now, as she read through Amanda's autopsy results, and the report from the officers at the scene the sheer brutality of it came rushing back to her.

The two adults had, according to Amanda, died in the way that they had both surmised. From that point of view it was an open and shut case, but murder never was that simple, and suicide was almost too terrible to contemplate, at least for those left behind and this time that included two young children, not much older than Eliana and Anneya. Two senior uniformed officers together with a chaplain from the Wendell's church had undertaken the job of breaking the news to the grandparents who were looking after the children. Rae hadn't envied them that task, but she didn't envy herself her job either.

The addresses for both sets of parents were in the report from the officer who had responded to the call and, with the prospect of searching for hairdressing salons suddenly seeming like a desirable option, she pulled her jacket on and left the station.

The journey to a very neat condo on the edge of Griffith Park didn't take long in the light Sunday afternoon traffic and Rae found herself wishing for the jams which usually dogged her every journey. Pulling in to the side of the road Rae carefully locked her car and then smoothed down her jeans and white top. She knew that she was delaying things, and in the end, with a heavy feeling that she thought would stay with her all day Rae began to walk up the path.

ooo

Steve had just arrived in the squad room when Cheryl indicated for him to come over to her desk. "Hi, Steve, Rae had to go and follow up on a murder-suicide she picked up on Friday, and I just got off the phone, we have another Red Rose victim, and according to what the officers at the scene told dispatch it's bad, real bad."


	38. Words will Never Hurt Me?

**38 Words Will Never Hurt Me?**

The house had seemed very big and very empty after Steve left. Jo had made _Debs_ comfortable in the morning room, and then, dragging Daniel with her, had gone into the kitchen to prepare a pot of tea and put some cookies on a plate. She had just begun to speak with her son when the door opened.

"Jo, Honey, don't you go usin' that tap water for me now. I have my own supply, I don't want the little heir to the Walters millions bein' contaminated in any way." Debbie indicated towards the hallway with her hand, "Daniel, be a good boy an' help your aunty by movin' this into the kitchen." Next to where Debbie was standing was a slightly different type of suitcase, it had a pulling handle on the top, but looked like a cupboard on wheels.

Daniel, none too graciously, grabbed the handle and began to pull the case towards the kitchen, he was amazed at how heavy it was, and also by the slightly uneven feel it had as he moved it. "Wow, what have you got in there?" The journey was over, and Daniel and his mom watched as Debbie carefully unzipped and opened her strange container.

"Why, my water, I told you, I don't use the stuff that comes out of the tap, this is pure Scottish water, I have it shipped in specially." Debbie took out a bottle of the clear liquid and handed it to Jo. "I need this to be used in anythin' that I consume which has water in it. Oh, an' all boiled water is to be heated up in this." From a lower level of the case Debbie took a clear Pyrex kettle, "it filters the water again, I can't even consider my baby havin' anythin' that isn't just as God made it."

Forcing back the cutting remark, which had settled on her tongue, Jo looked at the glass jug but didn't take it from her. "That's fine, _Debs_, if you just plug it in over there, you can go right ahead an' make yourself a drink, I think I'll have myself a soda instead." Jo moved over to her own refrigerator and took two cans from the door; she threw one to Daniel and then opened the other for herself.

"Jo, how can you put that into your body when you are usin' it as an incubator for your precious cargo?" Debbie looked scandalized and Jo groaned, there was no way she was going to be able to cope with a week of this.

ooo

The site of the latest body wasn't hard to pick out. Steve and Cheryl could see both the crowd of onlookers and reporters as well as the yellow police ribbon as it fluttered in the wind. Steve was anxious to get on with the crime scene investigation, but knew that he would have to answer, or field, at least three or four questions before he got that chance.

The victim had been left in the Japanese Garden, a usually tranquil part of the Botanical Gardens surrounding the Huntington Library. The area was designed for quiet contemplation, but both Steve and Cheryl knew that for one young woman it had been a place of horror and death instead.

"Lieutenant Sloan, is this another Red Rose killing?"

"Detective, what can you tell us about the latest victim?"

"What are you doing to catch this killer?"

The voices raised as each reporter tried to get his or her question to be one that was answered. Steve lifted his hand in an effort to silence the noise, and gradually, like a class of third graders, the noise lessened and lessened until no one was speaking.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time there is very little that I can give you. We have had a report of a body being discovered here, and until my colleagues and I are allowed to do our jobs we will be unable to tell you anything further." Steve paused and once again the sound levels rose.

"But it is the Red Rose killer?"

"That's why you're here, isn't it, Lieutenant?"

"Once I know anything I will pass information on to you, but until that time I have nothing further to say." Steve moved towards where he could see Amanda waiting just inside the police tapes, he felt Cheryl at his side and managed to shut out the cacophony of sound and began to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Hey, Steve, oh, hi, Cheryl." Amanda looked a little surprised not to see Rae, but smiled at her other friend. "How's Martin?"

"Ok, thank you. We're still looking for a place to rent and he's getting a bit discouraged, but he's good."

Amanda nodded, she was interested in what Cheryl had to say but she also needed to get back to work. "Right, once again we have a Jane Doe, it is always going to be that way with this guy I think. Steve, I've done all of these so far, but this one is bad, for some reason he really went to town on her, even without trying I can see about fifteen or twenty stab wounds, and not all of them were designed to kill or maim, they were for the pleasure of causing pain."

Steve shook his head, he'd seen a lot of dead bodies over the years, and most of them he just dealt with, but when they had been killed in such a manner that it was obvious that the killer had tortured the victim then he began to wonder about the career he'd chosen.

"Why? He always does the same things, the feet, the flower, the cut throat, but every time there are little differences, what are the reasons for those?" Steve ran his hand through his hair, he hated to admit it but right now he could do with Ron's presence to help him with the profile of this guy.

As if reading his mind Amanda smiled. "Rae has arranged to meet with Ron Tuesday afternoon, she wants to go over all the killings and try and work out why he changes some things and not others. I know enough to realize that she is talking about MO and signature, but I don't really understand why one changes and the other doesn't."

"Well, to be honest, I have so much going round my mind right now that if she wants to deal with that then I am more than happy to just pass it right on over to her. So, I guess you'd better show me what you've got." Steve indicated with his hand and both Cheryl and Amanda moved off in front of him. The walk was about two to three minutes, and Steve was glad that the police tape had been set so far away from the curious eyes of the reporters.

"It's a beautiful place isn't it?" Cheryl looked around her, she wondered whether Martin would find some peace here, it certainly had a special atmosphere, even with what she knew awaited her just a little further along the path she was traveling.

"It's lovely." Amanda turned to her friend as she spoke. "The whole garden is designed to be an area of quiet contemplation, there will be flowing water as well as still, and there has to be moon bridges."

"Really? How did you know all that?" Cheryl had carried on looking at the garden as Amanda spoke, and she could see all the different aspects that had been mentioned.

"I love coming here, to see the art collections, especially in the Virginia Steele Scott Gallery, there are some beautiful paintings there, and I have spent many happy hours just wandering the paths, and sitting taking in all the soothing sights and sounds of the gardens." Amanda slowed down to let Steve catch up and then she moved across the grass towards one of the red coloured bridges she had just talked about.

"The body is down here, a lot of blood has flowed into the water, but you can still see it on the path." Amanda pointed to where the blood soaked feet of a young woman could be seen.

"Hair cut off?" Steve began to count off the things which hadn't changed.

"Yeah, slightly different to normal, the others, sometimes they've seemed hacked, done in a hurry, but this hair has a new style and there is none of it left, the cut hair I mean."

"Oh great, more differences, feet slashed?"

"Yep, just as usual." Amanda nodded and she could see Cheryl making notes as Steve spoke.

"Rose." Steve stated rather than asked and was surprised when Amanda shook her head.

"No, no rose, but there was a black tulip."

"What? I thought that was a given, Red Rose Killer? Red Rose, it was a what?"

"A black tulip." Amanda didn't say anything she could see the facts working their way through Steve's brain and she didn't want to interrupt.

"Ok, I guess, think about it. You're blonde, you're gonna be as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof, about any strangers anyway, but if they come bearing red roses you are gone. He can't have that happen, so he changed the flower. He could change it every time couldn't he?" Steve looked at the two women in front of him, they were listening to everything he said, concentrating fully.

"Steve, I can't answer that, and you can't either. Maybe he will change again, or he could go back to red roses next time." Cheryl had finished writing down the findings so far and was pleased to be able to join in the conversation.

The next two hours were spent with Amanda working on the area surrounding the body and directing operations as far as the photos she wanted taken. Steve and Cheryl did the same from the LAPD side of things, working with the Crime Scene officers and also speaking with the head of security for the Huntington Library to find out how their protection methods were implemented.

Finally, a little after two in the afternoon, by which time the body had been removed to the morgue, and all but the dedicated amongst the journalists had left, Steve and Cheryl were ready to head back to the station.

"You know, when I go to a murder scene I can look around and it's obvious that the area will be forever tainted by what happened, but somehow, this time, it's not like that, this time I think the garden will win." Cheryl smiled, she would come back, and she would bring Martin with her, because the peace she had found here was stronger than any of the awful things that the city had to offer.

ooo

"I don't care what you think, I'm not doing it, what's the point, it's stupid!"

"No, Honey, it's not, you are given homework to show that you can work on your own, that you have taken in everythin' that was told you in the lessons, an' that you can use the information in your own way." Jo had pulled her hair back into a scrappy ponytail so that she could run the vacuum around the downstairs rooms and clean the kitchen floor. _Debs_ was sitting in the morning room reading a parenting magazine and had daintily lifted her feet as the cleaner was run underneath them.

"What's the point?"

"You just said that, an', if I remember correctly I replied. Daniel, please, while **_she_** is here, please, behave." Jo looked at her son he seemed so conflicted, and she desperately wanted to take him into her arms and hold him tightly until he finally told her what the matter was.

"Why? She sure doesn't. Three different types of sandwich she had you make, and then she ate the first ones! I have made five cups of tea with that precious water of hers, and she hasn't drunk any of them. The bed is too hard, the sunlight too strong, the air too dirty, she is behaving like a spoiled brat, but I can't voice my opinions."

"Well, I have to say I think you just did." Jo paused for a moment, she knew, in a way, Daniel had a point, _Debs_ was acting up, and not only that but she had floored both of them with an announcement over lunch which had made Jo want to scream at the woman and cry for the relationship with her brother which was so obviously gone.

_"Honey, I have some news to tell you. I wanted to have Steve here too, but I just can't wait any longer." Debbie had fished about in the small pink purse that she had put on the dining table next to her. "Davie said I was to keep this hidden until I had told you."_

_"Davie?" Jo had repeated the one word, no one, not even their Grandmamma, had called her brother that, no one except her._

_"I heard you call him that, an' it was just so cute, now I don't use anythin' else."_

_"I see." Jo had clenched her hands into fists underneath the table, controlling her breathing and her temper with difficulty. That was her name; David had never let anyone else call him that, just like Rae called her Texas, but more so, it was special, family special._

_"We kept waitin' for you to tell us when you were free, but you seem to live such busy lives, I don't know what you do, you seem to always be here, but you were never available to come to Texas."_

_Jo had said nothing, for a start she was having a very bad feeling about what Miss Prissy Knickers had to say, or now she thought it would be Mrs Prissy Knickers, and secondly, in the four months since she had been released from the hospital after Werner kidnapped her, the two days she had spent at her old home had been two days too many._

_"Oh, I can't wait for you to say anythin', we're married, Davie an' I, we went across the border into Mexico an' had ourselves a lovely little weddin'. It was just so romantic. So I am now Mrs Walters, an' my baby will be the heir, don't you just wish you had gotten yourself pregnant a few months earlier?"_

_"I guess I should congratulate you, but you are wrong, I was the heir to the Walters estate, an' my children will inherit everythin'. An' just to point out one tiny little thing, you are fifteen years too late gettin' pregnant!" Jo had got up from the table then, her appetite completely gone, the noises of confusion and anger from Debbie not stopping her as she left the room with Daniel following very closely behind her._

"Daniel, just go do your homework, your dad will be home in about three hours, he will ask, an' I just want to keep everythin' as peaceful as possible." A feeling of bone weariness seemed to flow over her, and she leant back against the wall.

"Mom, are you alright?" Daniel was instantly concerned, all the colour seemed to have left his mother's face, and for a moment he thought she might pass out. "Should I go get Jesse?"

"No, Honey, I'm just very tired. I think I'll take me off for a little nap while you do your studying. If _Debs_ wants anythin' tell her you are too busy an' she can either get it for herself or wait until I get up." Jo made her way towards the door to the morning room but returned with a smile. "The bed may be too hard, but the sofa is obviously just right, she is sleepin' like a baby, an' that's what I plan to do too." She smiled again as she felt Daniel slip his arm through hers, and then together, mother and son climbed the stairs to the second level.

ooo

Jesse had cleaned the house, or the areas that they used, as well as he could, Eliana and Anneya had followed him from room to room and so he had given each of them a cloth and they had dusted the surfaces that they could reach. Eliana's happy chatter had diverted his mind from the difficult subjects he had broached with Rae earlier in the morning and during the night, and he had enjoyed the company of his children. Once the downstairs rooms were reasonably tidy the three of them had eaten lunch and then, dusters in hand, they had climbed the stairs to tackle the bedrooms. The sheets had been stripped off the bed Jesse had used, causing screams and squeals of laughter as he 'accidentally' dropped the covers over his little girls and then pretended he couldn't find them even though they could see each other as he peeped under the corners. Jesse left the master bedroom, knowing that Rae would want to tidy that herself, and finally found himself in the nursery with two tired children.

"So, who wants a story?" Jesse looked at Anneya as he spoke and, even though he knew she wouldn't understand, made the sign for a book that he had used when he played charades as a boy.

"Me, me, Nemo, Daddy, peeze." Eliana rushed to the shelf and found the new book that they had got when they bought the movie, "vis one." She thrust it at Jesse and then clambered up onto her bed and made herself comfortable against the wall, picking up the soft stuffed cat which was resting on her pillow.

Jesse made sure that Anneya could see him and then he carefully picked her up and placed her on the bed. He made himself comfortable between the two girls and began the story, hoping that the pictures would satisfy one child as much as the words would the other.

Thirty minutes later both of his daughters were fast asleep and so he carefully lifted Anneya and put her in her own crib, then he covered up Eliana with the throw from the bottom of the bed and crept from the room. He knew that he had about an hour to two hours before either of them stirred and so he headed for the computer needing to look up any facilities for Deaf children that Los Angeles could offer.

Gradually as the afternoon progressed, and the two children slept on in the silence, Jesse realised that they weren't alone. He found residential homes, which he wouldn't consider, day care centers which provided helpers who would sign with Deaf children, he also found a family based organization which offered all the help and assistance that he knew they needed. There were classes to help children learn American Sign Language, areas where siblings could go and play and have quality time without the need to watch out for their other brothers and sisters, there were meetings each week for parents to discuss their problems, or help solve those of other members. With each item that he read Jesse got more and more excited. He pressed button after button ordering information, booklets, videos and tapes covering all types of different aspects of living with a Deaf member of the family, and he didn't even check the total when he went through the check out. Once that had been done he found the 'contact us' page and sent an e-mail introducing himself and asking whether his family could be considered for any of the services he had read about. Then with a sigh Jesse realised just how stiff he was and stood up for a stretch. He made his way to the kitchen to pour himself a desperately needed cup of coffee and to grab a sandwich; by the time he returned to the office where the computer was situated he had a reply in his in-box from the founder of the 'Footprints in the Sand' organization inviting him and his family to visit with them on the Wednesday of the next week.

Jesse couldn't believe how satisfied he felt as he read the information in the e-mail, he had started the ball rolling, they would get Anneya all the help she needed, and when he went into work the next day he would look into Cochlear implants, and other medical interventions which may help her as well.

Eliana and Anneya woke up a little after four and he had dinner almost ready, a CD playing in the player, which he was singing along to, and a positive feeling inside of him which had been missing for far too long.

ooo

Rae had returned to the squad room at four and everyone working there knew instantly not to approach or talk to her. The way she carried herself, sat down at her desk, and then stared off into space told them more than any words could, she was suffering, something had affected her badly, and until she worked it through herself none of the other detectives would be able to help her.

After sitting for ten minutes a cup of hot tea appeared by her side, and still without a sound apart from a quiet 'thank you', she took a sip. Gradually, words began to appear on the pad in front of her as Rae made notes about her day. She knew that she needed to speak with Steve and so, once everything had been written down to her satisfaction, Rae made her way to Captain Newman's office and tapped on the door, feeling the eyes of everyone else in the room on her, but out of concern rather than curiosity, they had all been where she was right now, and knew how to act.

"Come in." Steve looked up, smiled his lopsided smile and got to his feet. "Hi, sit down."

Rae did as she was told, and then waited, in case Steve needed to speak first. The silence told her he was waiting too, and so she began to speak. "The Chief called this morning, he's back from Barbados, and so are Mr and Mrs Edwards. He says that we need to go up tomorrow and interview them both. I explained about the captain coming back, but he said this took precedence and he expected us to be on our way by ten at the latest."

"Great, just what I need, a trip up the coast. Ok, what else can I say, I'll pick you up from your place at half past nine and we can sit in traffic together all the way to Santa Barbara."

"Ok. Works for me." Rae got to her feet but Steve shook his head and she sat back down, hoping she wouldn't be asked to explain her actions, and knowing inside that he wouldn't ask.

"We got another killing." Steve didn't need to clarify his statement he knew that Rae would know exactly what he was talking about. "Cheryl and I took the call this morning, blonde, probably beautiful; she was killed in the Japanese Gardens."

For Rae that was the final straw, she swallowed back the tears, which had been threatening her for hours, and just nodded. "I see." The words were strained and she didn't look up from her hands entwined in her lap.

"Amanda will have the details by morning, but I guess if we are going to Santa Barbara we won't get to see them until the evening."

"No, I guess not. If that's all, Sir?" Rae stood again and this time saw her friend and partner nod. "Thank you."

"Rae?"

She turned as she reached the door, she couldn't tell him, not yet, not about her afternoon, but the other thing, the final straw, somehow that was easier. "The Japanese Gardens are one of my special places." The door closed behind her and knowing that no one would stop her Rae picked up her jacket and the paperwork she had generated that afternoon and made her way towards the parking lot.

ooo

Jesse had taken the girls round to Jo's after he had finished preparing dinner so that he could ask a few questions about the house that had come to his mind since the wonderful moment when it had become theirs. When he had arrived though he found that the Sloans' had a guest, and it was apparent that Jo wouldn't want business discussed in front of her. Jo herself was still asleep, and it was Daniel who answered the door, smiling broadly when he saw his dad's best friend.

It had taken a while, mostly spent with Maddie, for Daniel to realize that Jesse was still the closest friend his dad would ever have, and that if they could get past what had happened when Jesse attacked Steve then so could he.

"Hey, you don't know anything about osmosis do you?"

"Homework, huh? I could help if you would like, but I really wanted to see your mom."

"She's asleep. Jesse, is it normal for her to just all of a sudden be so tired that she can hardly stand up?" Daniel was worried, still, about how his mother had come over so weary so quickly.

"It can be, I can check her over if she wants me to, but the early stages of pregnancy take a lot out of the body, and sleep is one of the better ways of putting it all back in again."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, leave that alone!" The sound of a raised voice coming from the morning room caused both Jesse and Daniel to turn in that direction. Neither of them had registered the fact that Eliana and Anneya had let go of their daddy's hands and toddled off together, as at home in this house as they were in their own. Debbie, who had still been asleep, was now awake, and not happy.

"Debbie, I am so sorry, did they startle you?" Jesse came into the room just in time to see Eliana empty Debbie's purse onto the rug. "Eliana, stop that." Jesse moved forward but Debbie realizing what she had said and how it would look smiled.

"I didn't realize who it was, they can play with it, the sweet, sweet things. Hi, Honey, do you remember your Aunty Debbie?" She placed her hand on the back of Anneya's shoulder as she spoke and the little girl, absorbed in tissues and make up, jumped and began to scream. "Well, I never did, she is mighty highly strung."

"Shhh, Honey, it's ok." Jesse soothed his daughter, even though the words were more for himself than her. "You knew she had been ill, Debbie?" He was rocking now, gently back and forth and the movements seemed to calm Anneya.

"Of course, I did, I heard about that in a letter that Jo sent to Davie, poor chil' is she feelin' better now?" Debbie put her hands protectively across her stomach just in case she had caught anything in the hospital.

"She's fine, but she can no longer hear, if you talk to her, or want her to know you need her you have to be in front of her."

"Oh my, I didn't know, Jesse, I am so sorry, is there nothin' that you can do, you bein' a doctor an' all?"

"We're looking into it all at the moment, but these things take time."

"Well, I am mighty pleased that you an' Rae are back together, an' facin' this as a family. It must be doubly hard if you have to do these thin's alone.

"How did … what did you say?" For a moment Jesse took a mental step backwards. Rae had said she hadn't told anyone their business, but he knew that she liked Debs; maybe she had spoken to her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not givin' away any secrets am I? Jo mentioned to Davie that you were havin' a few problems." Debbie hastily covered her tracks, or at least she hoped she did.

"No, no, it's just still a bit difficult, is all."

"Jesse, Honey, I didn't know you were here, I am so sorry." Jo's voice broke into the conversation and Jesse turned to give his friend a kiss.

"Don't worry, I haven't been here long. How are you, Jo, did you know your son is worried about you?" Jesse tried to cover his own concern by being a little more formal than usual.

"I did know," She smiled, she didn't want to worry anyone, but Daniel's concern warmed her. "I'm tired, but I'm ok. I am missin' Michael, an' Steve is at work today." Jo couldn't say that she would be far happier if she didn't have a guest, but that was true too.

"Come in and see me or Mark tomorrow, let us check you over, you could be anemic, or just a little run down. But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"You're sure?" The sudden beating of her heart and the panic she could feel welling up inside of her, made Jo need to sit down, and so she did, right next to Debbie, who was immediately the picture of a concerned friend.

"Now you just put your feet up here, you're sure you're not retainin' water?" Debbie touched Jo's foot and she was only just able to resist the temptation to kick out. "I will go an' make you a nice cup of that herbal tea Rae drinks, it is much better for you at this stage than that other stuff, an' then when you get a little further on you should take raspberry leaf, good for all sorts of things."

Jo lay back, it did feel good not to have to do anything, and she knew that once Steve got home if she needed to she could go to bed and stay there. Jo checked her watch, it was twenty past five and she hadn't even begun to think about dinner yet. As Jo tried to remember what she had in the freezer which might just be pure enough for Little Miss Prissy Knickers and chil' the phone began to ring and with a sigh Jo lowered her feet to the floor.

"Jo, let me get it, relax, let others do for you. You will get over this tiredness and be bouncing around unable to stop; you have to do what your body tells you to." Jesse was walking away as he spoke and he picked up the phone. "Sloan residence … oh, hi, Steve, no, I'll just get her… Sorry, what?" Jesse listened with concern to what his friend had to say, "Oh, I'll go home then, thanks … yeah, here she is." Jesse handed over the phone and then looked for Daniel, he saw the boy down on the carpet with Eliana carefully putting everything back in the purse.

"She gets real angry, so we had better put it all away, ok?"

"K, Danl." Eliana looked at her friend with love in her eyes, she was devoted to Unki Teve, but if he wasn't around then Danl was a close second.

Jesse shook his head, he knew that Eliana would repeat the fact that Debbie got angry, but it was too late now. "Honey, we need to go home, Mommy finished work a little early."

The grin from Eliana was instant and beautiful; she got to her feet, Daniel and the contents of the purse forgotten and grabbing Anneya by the hand she moved over towards her daddy, leaving Daniel to finish the work alone.

ooo

Rae had managed to contain her feelings all the way home in the car, but when she drove in through the gates of Oak Place they began to overwhelm her, she parked in her usual place, rummaged for her keys and almost blindly fumbled her way inside. Rae knew instantly that the house was empty and unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed the tears finally flowed and she rushed into the breakfast room and threw herself down on the sofa.

Jesse had walked quite quickly past the house that split the Travis's from the Sloans but Rae's car was already in front of the garage. He turned the handle on the front door and was surprised to find that Rae hadn't locked it after her. Steve had said he knew she was upset and he guessed that she just hadn't remembered. As these thoughts went through his mind he realised that he could hear crying, in fact more than crying, Rae was somewhere sobbing.

Eliana found her mommy first and as usual burst into tears herself. Rae didn't stop crying, but just swept the child up into her arms and then cried with her. Jesse let them stay together for a few moments, knowing that the tears of his daughter would stop as quickly as they started, and sure enough she was soon wriggling to get back down again. Rae let her go, and Eliana stood by the side of the sofa gently stroking her mother's hand, and again Jesse watched.

After about ten minutes Rae looked up into the face of her husband and tried a watery smile. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself, Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Jesse sat down as Rae moved herself over to give him room and saw her eyes fill with tears again.

"No, Daddy, Mommy better, ou naughty make her cwy gen." Eliana had her 'Miss Amy' voice on and both of her parents had to smile.

"Thank you, Sweetie, go play with Anneya for a little while, Mummy needs to talk with Daddy." Rae wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her top and then stroked her little girl's brown curls and watched as they bounced under her hand.

"K, Mommy."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jesse watched her face, the tears were still there, and he knew that some more would fall, but he also knew that she would want to share, she was unlike him in that anything concerning her was soon released, it had to be or it ate away at her and she would break down completely, like she had just after they had first met, since then Rae had been far more open than he could ever be.

"Yeah, I do, but it's hard, y'know, I picked up a case, Friday night, before the burglars came here, which was why I was late."

Jesse listened, and gradually as she described the scene he felt himself move into it with her, and the events of the afternoon opened up before him.

_Rae had waited at the door to Mr and Mrs Wendell's neat home hoping against hope that they wouldn't be in and she could go back to the station. She knew that they had already been visited by one of the station's female officers as well as Captain Brownlow, who was in charge of the uniformed division; the Wendell's chaplain had been present too. The door opened though and a woman in her, Rae guessed, mid fifties, with a small child in her arms tried to smile at her even though her red rimmed eyes gave away her distress._

_"Yes, dear?"_

_"Mrs Wendell?"_

_"Yes, dear." The woman was still smiling, its artificiality tearing at Rae._

_"Mrs George Wendell?"_

_The smile had gone now as the woman nodded and for an instant Rae hated her job._

_"Ma'am, I'm Detective Reagan Yeager, LAPD, I need to talk to you about your son Oliver and his wife June." She showed her ID as she spoke._

_"You … you'd better come in." the distress was now evident in the woman's voice and Rae wasted no time in entering the neat home closing the door and following Mrs Wendell into the living room._

_There was a small boy playing with his cars on a large road mat spread out across the carpet, he smiled at Rae and stood up. "Hi, wanna play cars?"_

_Rae crouched down so that she was at the same level as the little boy, "Maybe later, right now I need to speak to your grandma?" Rae looked over at the woman to get confirmation that she had her title right._

_"He'll be fine; he asks everyone, he's used to people saying no. Please sit down."_

_Rae had done as she was bid, and then taken her notepad out of the pocket of her jacket. She wanted to be as professional as possible, not only for the woman in front of her but also for herself. "Ma'am, is your husband at home?"_

_"Yes, he's out back in his woodshed. Well, it's not a woodshed, but that's what he's always called it. He's spent a lot of time there since … since we heard. Chip, go get Grandpa, there's a good boy."_

_"K, Grandma." The little boy got to his feet and ran out of the room and Rae smiled as she watched him go._

_"How old is he?"_

_"He'll be four just next week; he was almost a Thanksgiving baby."_

_"And the little girl?"_

_"She is sixteen months, this is Kayleigh. They … they don't know, not yet, we … we have no idea how to tell them."_

_Rae nodded her head, "I have two daughters, they are almost the same age as your grandchildren. Mind you, I have three other children one of whom is married himself, sometimes I think I must be mad." Rae didn't know why she had given out such private information, but it seemed the right thing to do. "You do know that there are all sorts of agencies you can contact to help you tell them don't you? If you call the station they will be able to give you the numbers." Rae silently cursed the fact that she hadn't brought with her some of the various contact cards she kept in her desk._

_The room descended into silence and they waited until George Wendell came into the room. "Mother, what's the problem?" Mr Wendell was a giant of a man, Rae watched as he sat next to his wife, and dwarfed her. Rae could see that he too had been crying and wondered whether Mrs Wendell realised how much of a refuge the woodshed had become to her husband._

_"Sir, my name is Detective Yeager, LAPD, I need to speak to both of you about your son and his wife." Rae still had her ID in her hand and she showed it to the obviously distraught couple sitting across the small room from her. "I know that this is very hard for you, and you have my deepest sympathy, but I have to ask these questions sooner rather than later." Rae paused and saw both of her companions nod their heads, then she took a deep breath and pressed on. "When was the last time that you spoke to your son or his wife?"_

_"The day before yesterday, Oliver brought the children over, we weren't supposed to have them but he said … he said something had come up and he needed them to be out of the house. He seemed agitated, I said, didn't I, George, how he seemed agitated? Detective, what happened to my boy?" _

_For a second Rae was transfixed in horror as she thought that maybe Mrs Wendell didn't know her son was dead, but then Mr Wendell spoke and she realised that it was the facts she was lacking._

_"Hush now, Mother, let the officer do things her way, you know that the men yesterday said that the details would be a little while in coming." The words were gruff but not unkind, and Mrs Wendell leant into her husband's large body and Rae watched as she tried desperately to hold herself together._

_"Sir, Ma'am, I know that you were told that there was an incident at your son's house yesterday afternoon, and that both he and his wife were dead."_

Rae turned to Jesse, her eyes filling with tears again. "They were just devastated all over again, Jesse, and they didn't know the worst of it yet, those two beautiful children were so worried about their grandparents, like Eliana was for me just now, and there was nothing I could do but sit and wait until they calmed down a little and I could break their hearts all over again." Rae leant into Jesse, as Mrs Wendell had done with her husband earlier in the day, and the feeling of his arm as he put it around her and pulled her a little closer gave her the strength to carry on with her story.

_"How did they die, Detective?" It was George Wendell who had gathered himself together first and he had looked at his wife until she had nodded her head before asking the question that Rae had known would be next._

_"We think, from the autopsy results and the notes we found, that your son killed his wife and then took his own life."_

_"No." The one word had come out as a gasp and Mrs Wendell had almost disappeared into her husband's grasp. Again Rae had waited, watching the two children playing with the cars on the floor, the little girl just whizzing them up and down while the boy parked them in the correct places, lined them up at traffic signals and portrayed what he saw every day right there in front of him._

_Once again the room became quieter, although this time the silence was punctuated with sobs and the occasional gasp. Rae moved across from where she had been sitting to crouch down in front of Mrs Wendell and take one of her hands into her own._

_"Is there someone I can call to come stay with you? This is a terrible thing to have happen, and there will be far more to contend with before it begins to calm down a little."_

_"We … we have a daughter who lives in Palm Springs, she wasn't there when we … we found out, she works away, could you call her? Sasha, Sasha Macbride is her name." Mrs Wendell pointed over to the phone and Rae could see an address book on the table next to it._

"I called her, and she is coming to stay with them. I also called their doctor, filled him in a little on the details, and got a neighbor to stay in close contact with them until Mrs Macbride arrives, I did everything I could, except give them back their son."

"Do you know why he killed her? He must have been planning it if he sent the children away." Jesse's voice was hushed the total desolation that the couple had felt affecting him as well.

"It was all set out, the letters showed that. He hadn't planned to kill himself to start with, he made it look like the house had been burglarized, but he made loads of mistakes, the note said that once he had killed June he realised what he had done and knew that he could no longer live and that was why he was going to kill himself."

"But why did he kill her?" Jesse asked the same question again, it suddenly seemed extremely important to him that he knew. "Rae?"

She looked at him, the love in her deep brown eyes shining through and for a second Jesse wondered whether she would back away and not continue with her tale but then he saw her take a deep breath and he knew that she was over her hesitation.

"He had left her, asked for a divorce, but she wouldn't give it to him. Apparently he had been in a car accident and his passenger had died, it had left him both mentally and physically impaired, he had a slight limp, he had lost his job and he wasn't handling things at all well, his mother said that she had looked his symptoms up and had been trying to persuade him that he was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder…" Rae stopped talking, she couldn't speak any more, the information she had got from Mr and Mrs Wendell had chilled her to the bone, and she had wanted to run, to just get up and leave their house, but she hadn't been able to.

"Oh, God, Rae." Jesse pulled her a little closer and held her a little tighter. "Never, Honey, I promise, I would never had let myself …"

"I know, I know that, but, oh, Jess, they said he wouldn't talk his feelings through, wouldn't open up to anyone, and in the end he snapped. He felt he was offering his wife a way out when he said he wanted a divorce, and all I could think of was that you did the same, they told me that he tried to hurt his wife with words, to get her to hate him, and I could hear you, telling me that I had spoilt everything.

"Jesse, I love you more than anything in the world, I … I will go if you will be happier that way … but I … I don't want to."

"No, Honey, I don't want you to go either." He swallowed down his own tears, knowing that Rae's need was greater than his right now. "We belong together, the four of us, we are a family."

The tears fell again, uncontrollable sobs wracked her body, and Jesse held her tightly in his arms, and thanked God that they had talked, and that the friends he had, however much they may have changed, had always been there for him, to help him back into the way of life that, if he was honest, he didn't ever want to end.

ooo

Steve had picked up barbeque on the way home, and a salad that he had washed himself in bottled water under Jo's instructions for Debbie.

For the third evening in a row though the dinner table was a tense and unhappy place, but this time Steve had no idea why.

"Jo, is everything alright?" He looked at his wife, she seemed a little pale, and the tiredness around her eyes seemed more pronounced than usual.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go see your daddy in the mornin' though, I'm feelin' a little peaky, I would like him or Jesse to check me over."

"Do you want to go now? I can get Dad to go in too." Steve stood up, the worry evident on his face.

"No, I'm gonna eat my dinner an' then get me an early night." Jo leant over and picked up a rib to make her point.

"I don't wish to put any more on your backs than you've already got, but I do have myself a little problem." Debbie put her fork down daintily on her plate and looked at her hosts, fluttering her eyelashes at Steve as she did so.

"What is that?" Steve smiled at her, she looked so concerned, and he knew that she was worried about Jo too.

"Well, my purse fell on the floor this afternoon, when those dear angels from next door were here, an' once they had gone Daniel put the things back in for me."

"Yes, I know I was there, I saw him." Jo felt herself begin to get defensive, although she didn't know why, yet.

"I am missin' twenty dollars out of my wallet an' a very nice watch is gone too."

"They must have fallen out someplace, I'll check after dinner." Steve smiled again as he reached for more food, but his hand stopped as Debbie began to talk again.

"I don't think you need concern yourself with that, I know where they are."

"Oh, where?"

"Your _son_, I saw him take them an' put them in his pocket."

"I didn't, Dad, I swear, I didn't." Daniel stood up, knocking his chair backwards with a crash as he did so.

"Daniel, sit down. Debbie, I'm sure that you must be mistaken, he wouldn't do that."

"Steve, I'm sorry, I know that I am a very welcome guest in your home, but the fact of the matter is, I saw the boy, an' if you search him he will be found guilty."

Steve looked at his son, not really knowing what to do, but Daniel took the matter into his own hands.

"You … you cow! I didn't take anything, I've never stolen from a person in my life, look around you, lady, I have more than you will ever have, why should I want to take your lousy stuff?"

"Daniel, that's enough, if you have nothing to hide, I suggest you turn your pockets out." Steve moved towards his son, but saw the anger and defiance in his eyes and stopped.

"You believe her?" Daniel's voice was full of the hurt he felt and shouted at his father, finally letting out some of his worries. "How can you believe her? You think you have a thief for a son, well, guess what, Lieutenant, you adopted me, and there is nothing you can do about it, you're stuck with me! I'll let you down just like I do everyone, disappoint you, make you wish you'd never bothered with me!" Daniel kicked out at the chair as he passed and then stifling a sob rushed from the room leaving his parents stunned and silent as he did so.


	39. Thoughts of a Killer

**39 Thoughts of a Killer**

"Well, I don't know what to say, but I'm guessin' that there isn't anythin' I can do to help right now." Debbie looked across at the two shocked faces of her hosts, and then watched as Steve turned to leave the room.

"No, _Debs, _I think you have done enough!" Jo couldn't help herself, and she could tell Steve didn't like what she'd done either by the tone of his voice.

"Jo. Honey, I won't be long."

"Steve, no, wait, I want to come too, this isn't somethin' that either of us should be doin' alone." Jo stood up and heard Steve speak to his sister-in-law.

"Jo's right, we won't be long, but we need to be together for this."

"Steve, Jo, you just go ahead an' speak with that poor chil', he must need a strong base so much right now." Debbie tried to look sympathetic and Steve nodded.

"Thanks, there's ice-cream in the freezer if you want some, or fruit in the bowl. Just help yourself." Steve waited for his wife to leave the room in front of him and then he too headed for the stairs.

Daniel sat on his bed and forced the tears away. There was no way he would let that woman reduce him to a sniveling wimp. Part of him wanted to laugh at the irony of it, he had been pushing and pushing his mom and dad, showing them that he was a 'bad 'un' underneath, that now the adoption was all completed whatever he did they couldn't get rid of him, but the final push had come from a woman he hated, and without her he wondered whether he would have ever totally realised what he had been doing.

The room that they were heading for was totally silent, and Steve tapped on the door, listening intently for an answer.

"What?" The one word was full of emotion, and Steve opened the door just a little.

"Son, can we come in?"

"Sure, why not? Is _she_ with you?" Daniel sniffed and rubbed at his eyes; he looked up and saw only his parents watching him from the doorway and tried a smile.

Steve watched as Jo sat down on the chair next to the computer, and then he sat at the end of the bed. "Daniel, Son, I'm sorry, I didn't word that real well downstairs. I only wanted to prove to Debbie that you didn't take anything of hers, I know you wouldn't do that."

"Well, it didn't sound like that to me." Daniel had moved a little further up the bed away from his dad. "I don't like her, Dad, and I can't see why you do, she's rotten to Mom, nothing that we do is right, the only person that she's nice to is you."

"Daniel, she doesn't see us very often and her ways are different to ours, but she's family, and whether I like her or not, I plan to treat her well. You should do the same." Steve's voice came out a little sterner than he had intended and the boy hung his head.

"I'm sorry. But … but she's a royal pain in the ass!"

"Yeah, she is, but you an' I are gonna have to put aside the fact that we would rather have her space than her company an' just learn to live with her, at least for the next seven days." Jo tried not to smile as she spoke, but she agreed wholeheartedly with her son.

"I guess." Daniel wished that they would go, leave him alone, but he also had a feeling that they had more to say.

Steve had realized, as he climbed the stairs, that one of the reasons for the problems they had been having as a family had been explained by Daniel in his verbal outburst. The anger had let loose the fears and insecurities that all the gentle persuasion in the world probably wouldn't have set free.

"Daniel, look at me." Steve wanted to hug the boy, hold him tight and never let him go, but he knew that right now that would be the wrong thing to do, and so he just spoke, quietly, and hoped that he would do as he was asked.

"Why? What difference is it gonna make?"

"Not a lot, I guess, after all, you said it, we're stuck with you, whatever you do, you are our responsibility."

"Steve!" Jo was shocked by what her husband was saying, and she couldn't stop herself from calling out, even though she was happy to let him take the lead in the conversation so far.

"Well, it's true; there is nothing we can do, not any more." Steve carried on talking in the same manner, even though he didn't feel that way at all and Daniel felt himself get on the defensive once again, and his anger flared, but he willed himself not to speak and for a while the room was silent until finally, he couldn't contain it any more.

"I knew, I knew you would adopt me, it would all go wrong and there would be nothing you could do about any of it." The fear that he felt was so strong now that Daniel was sure both his parents would know just what a loser they had taken on.

"But, Honey, why would you think that things are gonna go wrong? You are our son, there is nothin' that you or anyone can do to change it, that's true, but I don't understand why you think we would want to, we love you." Jo could see hurt, anxiety, fear, all sorts of emotions in her son's face, and she too, although she didn't realize it, had the same thoughts as her husband, wanting to hug her son, but holding back, needing to know what else he had to say.

Daniel couldn't answer the question, the feelings that he had been having since the adoption became final were difficult to explain, even to him. Sometimes he knew that everything was fine, that he was loved, wanted and here to stay, but others he could see it all turning to dust in front of him, and if that was the case then he wanted to hasten it along, not get too dependent on the love and security that had been given to him.

"Daniel, you know that we love you, don't you? That we adopted you because we wanted you to be a permanent part of our family." Steve wasn't comfortable with the questions he knew that he had to ask, but he also had a feeling that coming from himself rather than the boy's mother they may carry a little more weight. Daniel knew that his dad kept his feelings locked up inside of him most of the time, and Steve hoped that would make him realize that they really did want him in their family. Daniel nodded and Steve, knowing that he had to say more carried on talking. "I deal with kids sometimes in my job, but I knew that wouldn't prepare me for taking on a teenager, nor your mom, we knew that it wasn't gonna be an easy task for you or us. Daniel, we're all gonna make mistakes, but when we do we have to do this, talk, listen and try to work out the best way of dealing with things. We're only human, mistakes come with the territory, but we love you, we want you to be here with us, you are our son. You do understand that, don't you?"

"I guess." The words came out as a mumbled comment, but at least it was a start.

"Son, when your mother was taken, and then they tried to take you too, that was the worst time of my life. I would have fought anyone and everyone to keep you with me, I thought you knew that." Steve had tried very hard not to think about the awful day when the longhaired idiot from Social Services had tried to remove their son.

"I … I think I do." Daniel remembered back, his dad had been scared, he hadn't thought that Steve could ever be scared, but that day he had known for absolute certain that his new dad loved him more than any man ever had before, but that still hadn't stopped him being the way he was now, argumentative, pushing almost every rule his folks had to the limit, pushing them to the limit, and maybe nothing could.

"You also know, because we have told you before, that we had no plans to foster anyone, we did it for Alex, as well as you, because he wanted to be able to help you but he couldn't take you on himself, Son, we have never regretted it, not for a minute." Steve paused as he saw Daniel wanted to come into the conversation.

"He has helped, he's helped me more than anyone, well, except you, he was the only one who came to see me in juvie, and when I had bad foster parents he would call all the time, he … he even bought me my cell so that I didn't have to use the house phone."

"I didn't know that, but he's a nice guy, and he loves you very much too." Steve smiled; somehow the news about the phone didn't surprise him at all. "Have you told him about the trouble you've been in at school and home?"

"No. I haven't spoken to him in ages … when he calls I tell him I'm busy." Daniel was suddenly embarrassed, the arguments and fights hadn't been something he was proud of, he had known they were wrong, but he had been unable to stop himself, and that was something he couldn't share with his friend.

"Honey, he must know about Doug, after all the hospital you put him in is where he works, an' Grandpa too." Jo had moved across and sat the pillow end of the bed; she needed to be closer to her son, to be able to reach out to him if he would let her.

"I know, and I'll bet they're both regretting they ever laid eyes on me too! Did Alex apologize to you yet for ruining your lives?" The spark suddenly flared, Daniel's eyes glinted and he spat the words out, his Grandpa was very special to him too, he hadn't thought about the fact that Doug would be taken to Community General and the sudden realization made his self destruct mechanism kick in again.

Steve shook his head, had nothing they'd said meant anything to the boy?

"Daniel, no, Honey, how can you think that?" Jo turned her face away, the tears in her eyes had nothing to do with hormones this time, she was deeply hurt by what he said, but more than that she was worried that somehow they had indicated that what Daniel was saying was true.

"How can I think it? Because it's true, no one ever loves me for long, every time things are good they go bad, I always do something to mess it all up and then … and then … people leave me." He couldn't carry on, the feelings of isolation and loneliness were beginning to overpower him, and he just knew that before long one of his parents would get up, leave the room, and take the other one with them.

This time Jo couldn't keep away, she moved closer to him and placed a finger on his cheek, then she gently turned him so that he was looking at her and cupped her hands around his face before starting to speak. "You are my son, whatever happened in the past, you were supposed to end up with your daddy an' me, an' there is nothin' in this world that you can do to stop me lovin' you an' bein' proud of who you are, nothin'!" The conviction in her voice was made a little shaky by the tears, which were falling freely now, but she couldn't stop them.

"But … but my mom, my birth mom … she said she loved me, she read me stories, she did nice things, an' then one day I … I was bad at school and … she just up and left, I never saw her again, and Dad … he didn't want me, not after she'd gone, and I got to thinking that … maybe he'd never even wanted me in the first place. Zeke was the only one who ever showed any interest in me, and he only wanted me to help him burglarize places. He just used me … I thought he loved me, but he didn't … he couldn't have could he?" There were tears on his cheeks now, but he didn't brush them away, if he did his mom might move her hands, and he didn't want her to do that.

"In his own way he probably did love you, an' your birth parents too, there is no one right way to love someone, we love you in a different way than Alex, an' if he'd been able to foster you instead of us it wouldn't have been like it is here, but that isn't to say that this is right an' that's wrong, people are different, the way they do things is different too, but this way works for us … Honey, you work for us."

"But … you … you're both so good, you do all the right things, I never did, not before I came here, I'm always gonna slip back to what I was, I can't help it."

"Oh yes you can. There is absolutely no reason for you to use that excuse." Steve's voice came back into the conversation loud and strong and Daniel jerked his head out of his mother's grasp and turned to face him.

"I was bad, that's what the judge said when I went to trial for that store raid, bad through and through and there was nothing short of a long jail sentence which was gonna change that. He … he said he was only sorry that I was too young for it to be him who gave it to me." Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, he could still picture that awful man, he'd made him go see an autopsy, and then sent him to juvie, the memory made him shudder and he felt his mother's arm go around him.

"Then the man's a fool. Darlin', you aren't bad, I've seen the way you carry yourself through life an' I am proud of you, proud to call you my son, an' when you graduate high school an' get your college acceptance letter you take it an' you show him, show him he's wrong." The anger at what the judge had said made Jo want to protect her young; it was a feeling she realized she liked, very much.

"Daniel, Judge Bannerman is a good judge, he has very strong morals and he wants the youth of this country to provide for themselves and not take from others, but what he said isn't true, and you have already proved that. Your grades are good, you have friends, hobbies, you get chosen for school trips which aren't open to everyone, and … and I'm proud of you too." Steve smiled, his tone had softened, and he hoped that his son knew he was speaking the truth.

Daniel looked down; there was something he hadn't mentioned. "I got pulled from the trip. Mr Gillingham said that I was no longer the type of student he wanted to represent his school." He'd known, for a couple of days, that he wasn't going to San Francisco any more, but he hadn't said anything.

"I'm sorry about that, but if the school hadn't stopped you we would, whatever the reasons for your behavior you have to be punished, you will be seeing a lot of this house over the next few weeks." Steve did feel sorry, he remembered how thrilled Daniel had been to get the chance to go on the trip and now, through his own stupidity, he had blown it.

"Can … can we talk some more, but later? I … I want to go call Alex, and Maddie, I have things that need doing, but I need to say more to you, I need to …" He trailed off, the words were too hard to say, and so he stopped trying.

"Honey, you take all the time you want, but I would speak to Doug an' Kelly too. Besides, I need to go downstairs an' count the silver." Jo smiled and then winked at her son.

"Nah, I wouldn't bother, after all, her stuff in Texas is probably flown in specially, for each meal!" Daniel smiled and then suddenly his mother enveloped him, as the hug he'd seen her struggled not to give him before won, and she held him tight. No more words were said, but none were needed, not right away, Daniel felt his father's arms as they went round both himself and his mom, and the family he still wasn't sure he deserved held him tight, and the feelings of love he thought he'd lost were still there, and he knew that if he could be true to himself and his family they would never leave him.

ooo

To Jesse's delight after Rae had finished talking and crying she had fallen asleep in his arms and, as he sat with her curled up against him, he began to realize just how far he had come in a very short time.

He had gone to bed on the Friday night, still in one of the spare rooms, and in his mind there had been very little chance of things changing in the foreseeable future. He had wanted to be with his children, and Rae, but being with her and being close to her were two very different things. Now though, she was as near to him as she could get and he felt nothing but safe and secure. Rae was right, the things that had been said to him were just words, and he had known all his adult life that words could heal or hurt. He'd let himself get buried so deeply in the negativity of his life recently that he'd been unable to let either his friends or his family in to help him. That would change though, from this moment on he resolved to let the past be just that, either good or bad, and concentrate on the future.

Very carefully, Jesse slid himself away from Rae and laid her head onto the cushion that he put in his place. Then he moved over to where his daughters were just watching the final scenes of their movie and sat down beside them on the floor. He held his finger to his lips as they both smiled at him and then he pointed at Rae on the sofa. Together they watched the end of the film and, making a game of it, tiptoed out of the playroom and into the kitchen where the three of them began to laugh and cuddle each other before he gave the girls a drink of milk each and took them up to the nursery.

ooo

The clothes were on the bed, beautiful things from a beautiful lady. The dress that Krista had worn was pink, and it had been covered with sequins and emphasized both her height and her slimness. The underwear was also pink; lacy, frothy pieces of nothing, and Dominic held the panties up and the light from the setting sun shone through giving them an unreal quality. He held them to his face, drinking in the scent of her, feeling the silkiness of them against his skin, the delicate material almost transparent, apart from the stains, red, deep red to begin with, but now a reddish brown, across them. The bra was the same, there had been very little of it to actually do the job it was designed for, and now it was soaked, the blood once again turning the material a browny colour. There were slash marks too, where the knife had cut through it as if it almost wasn't there, the straps were both severed, and the cups were shredded in places. Carefully he placed both pieces of lingerie into the bag, this time he wouldn't wash them, for a start he had a feeling they might disintegrate altogether, but also he had been so successful, she had been so wonderful, that he wanted to remember every little thing about it.

The dress was the next thing that he picked up, he held it against him and stood in front of the mirror, Dominic could see her as she had fallen against him, the knife in her back, and the dress showed the marks of the first stab wound. As he stood there he could feel again the way her body had stiffened, and he could picture the look of horror on her face, but she had deserved it, no one ran from Dominic and got away with it, and she, like all the others hadn't got the chance. The shoes were still on the bed, high strappy and black; he would have preferred them to be pink like the rest of the outfit, but never mind. They had high heels, at least four inches, and a diamante strap going across the front. She had collapsed to the ground when he had stabbed her, and the shoes, or at least one of them, had fallen off. She had known by then who he was, and had begged, they always begged, for her life.

For a minute he had been tempted, but he couldn't let her live, no one ever lived, they would only leave, and tell, so he had sliced the blade through the foot with no shoe on, and her scream had filled the air. As he had removed her other shoe the screaming had gotten so loud and she had tried to move away from him so strongly that he'd had to sit on her. Five times he had plunged the knife into her back before the noise had disappeared and he had been able to finish what he started.

Lovingly he picked up the hair, it was the most glorious that he had yet collected, apart from the one, nothing would ever compare with the one. He picked up the brush and began to gently smooth out the slight kinks it had received when it had been curled up in his jacket pocket. There were some shorter, unusable pieces too, but he had been unable to leave her without a proper style, had felt it impossible to drag himself away until he had left her hair neat and tidy.

His own shirt was in the wastebasket, the blood from when he had finally cut her throat staining the sleeve of the arm he had sliced her up with. It didn't concern him; it was Matthew's job to deal with that.

Suddenly Dominic was overcome by the desire to compare, to see what the differences were between Krista and the one. He hardly ever touched her things, let alone remove them from the room where they were kept, but the urge was so strong that he put Krista's dress down on the bed and made his way out into the hallway and along to the other bedroom, glancing about him as he did so, expecting a hand to grab at him and pull him back, but none came, and so slowly he opened the door and went in.

ooo

Alex sat with Mark at one of the tables in the doctor's lounge and wondered what to do. The telephone conversation he'd had with Daniel had worried him, but he wasn't sure how to deal with the information he now had. Alex had known that for some reason Daniel had been avoiding him. The boy was conscientious with his schoolwork but he had been taking it to extremes lately, and had never been available to talk, maybe to go for a soda, shoot hoops, none of the things they usually did. Alex hadn't wanted to pry, and he had been busy at work so he guessed he had let things slide a little.

"D'you wanna share?" Mark's voice cut into his thoughts and Alex looked up.

"Sorry?"

"Whatever it is that you're worrying about, do you wanna share?" Mark smiled as he spoke, the young doctor was turning out very nicely, very nicely indeed, and if he had any work related problems, or any other kind for that matter, then he wanted to help if he could.

"Yeah, I do, but I don't think I can." Alex was very aware that Mark was Daniel's grandfather, and he didn't want to betray confidences on either side of the relationship.

"Well, if you change your mind let me know, and if you can't catch me here, well, you know where to find me off duty too."

"Yes, Sir, I sure do." Alex got to his feet, his coffee break was over and he needed to be back at work, as he got to the door the young man turned back towards his friend. "Thanks, Mark."

"No problem, not that I did anything, but it was still no problem." Mark watched as Alex left the room and he remembered back, he wondered what it was that made him take interns under his wing, he'd done it three times so far, and it had turned out really well. Jack Stewart was living a life he couldn't even have dreamt about before he started medical school, practicing in Colorado, working only about three days a week and skiing or just enjoying life the rest of the time; Jesse, well, Jesse was special, he'd known that the first time he'd laid eyes on him, young, fresh faced, and so enthusiastic that he put the rest of his classmates to shame. He had known that Jesse would be a good doctor, but not quite how good. One day, if all the right things fell into all the right places, Jesse Travis, Mark was sure, would be head of internal medicine at Community General. And now there was Alex Martin, a young, confident, charming doctor, who also had bright things in his future. He would probably move from the hospital, and set his sights on private practice, but Mark sincerely hoped that whatever he did, he would remain as close a friend as he had become.

Mark checked his watch, his shift was over, there had been no last minute emergencies to keep him in the hospital any longer than he was supposed to be, he slid his white coat off as he walked along the corridor to the locker room, life was good, he was relaxed, his son was happy and content with a wonderful wife and family, and a happy smile crossed his face as he threw the coat into the laundry, before heading back out into the corridor again and out into the darkness of the night.

ooo

Debs had sat in one of the easy chairs in the morning room and watched while Steve rooted around under the sofa to see if he could find her missing things. Nothing had been discovered and he had excused himself to go and tell Daniel. Once Steve had left the room had descended into an uneasy silence.

Finally Debbie had sighed and then spoken, "Jo, you have some mighty valuable things in this here house, don't you worry about them all with that chil' about?" Debbie tried to look concerned, but Jo was having none of it.

"Debbie, you may be my brother's wife, but I won't have you speak that way about my son. He is hard workin' an' honest, he wouldn't have done what you said he did, an' I certainly never feel I have to lock anythin' away in this house because he is here." _Which is more than I can say about you._ Jo smiled, she didn't want to row with _Debs,_ but only because it would upset her brother, if it was up to her she would throw the annoying woman out right now.

"I don't see how you can be so confident, a leopard can't change its spots after all, an' the boy does have a record."

"An' just how do you know that? I don't remember ever mentionin' anythin' personal about Daniel's past to you!" Once again Jo felt her motherly instincts come to the forefront, she was furious on her son's behalf.

"Oh, well, I know I remember you talkin' about it when I was up before." Debbie tried to look a little uncomfortable, but Jo was sure that she could see pleasure in her green eyes.

"Is everything alright in here?" Steve's voice was a welcome intrusion for Jo, she found it increasingly difficult to make even small talk with her sister-in-law and it was even harder not to yell at her constantly.

"Darlin', is Daniel …" Jo stopped talking as she saw her son standing just behind his dad. He came into the room and she could see that he was keeping himself very tightly controlled.

"Debbie, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I promise you, I didn't take your stuff."

"Oh, now don't you go worryin' yourself about it any longer, it is forgotten already. An' you know it should be Aunty Debbie, now that you are a Sloan an' I am a Walters an' all! Come on over an' give me a kiss an' we can make up."

Daniel looked in disgust at his dad, but saw to his horror that he was smiling and then when he nodded Daniel knew that there was no escape. He thought about fans who kissed their idols and then never washed again, well he would need to go to the bathroom and never stop washing after this.

ooo

The ringing of the doorbell at Oak Place was insistent and intrusive a little after nine on the Monday morning. Rae, a piece of toast in her mouth and a cup of tea in one hand, made her way to answer the door and shook her head at the image which greeted her. Taking the slice of toast into her free hand Rae began to speak.

"And we are looking far too perky and cheerful for a Monday morning drive to Santa Barbara, what happened to you?"

"Nothing, in fact I have definitely had better weekends, but I just feel in a good mood. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it, maybe it will have rubbed off on me by the time we get to see the Chief's son. I have to admit to really dreading this." Rae had waved goodbye to Jesse and her daughters a little over thirty minutes before, and was already missing them.

"Yeah, I guess from that point of view it's a lousy day." Steve had walked into the kitchen, following behind Rae; she turned with a smile as she reached the counter. "Can I offer you a cup of tea or coffee? I am, after all, now the hostess." The smile, which had seemed to be as big as it could get, widened, and then Rae laughed. "I still can't believe that I am standing in the kitchen of my beautiful house, Jesse and I, we own this because of the unbelievable generosity of you and Texas. Thank you."

Steve smiled, he didn't feel that he had actually done anything, the money was Jo's, and he didn't really use it at all. His salary was kept separate, it always had been, and he transferred a percentage of it into the household accounts, paid for anything Daniel needed, and saved the rest or used some of it for his personal use. The money from Bob's had become a very nice little nest egg, and was squirreled away each month for a rainy day, not that he thought he would ever have a rainy day, but you never knew.

"I'm glad you are happy, and you're right, it is a beautiful house. But we need to go, so I'll say no to the drink, thanks."

"Bully!" Rae stuck her tongue out at her partner, dropped her crusts down the waste disposal and then drained her teacup. "I won't be a moment." She left the room and ran lightly up the stairs to her suite, smiling as she entered. Even though the bed had been made it was clear that two people had slept together there over night, and Rae let her mind drift back, just for a moment, to the feeling of Jesse's arms around her as they lay talking quietly before the two of them had fallen gently to sleep together. Shaking her head to bring herself back to the reason why she was in her room Rae picked up her badge off the nightstand and then unlocked the drawer underneath and took out her gun. Once she had put both things on her belt she grabbed the comb and ran it through her hair before making her way back down to where Steve was waiting for her.

ooo

The sun, forcing its way in through the blinds, woke Dominic and with a groan he fumbled around until he found his alarm clock and then peered at it. _Ten past nine,_ and he hadn't even had breakfast. In a little less than ten minutes he had been through the shower, combed and styled his hair and decided what clothes to wear. He then had a quick breakfast of cereal and toast before making his way down in the elevator and out into the street.

The newspaper seller on the corner had a large billboard with a headline screaming from it. **_Red Rose Killer Strikes Again_ **and, his day getting better all the time, Dominic went up and bought himself a copy of the morning edition. There was a recruitment agency three blocks from his house and Dominic was hoping to get at least an interview or two arranged by lunchtime.

The hairdressing salon where he had worked had known him as Dominic Little, but they had paid him cash in hand and never registered the fact that he was employed there. His real name was Nicholas Large, and that was the name he would have to use to get a bona fide job. He had never felt like a Nicholas, although Nic had been ok. He thought back to the day before as he walked, and the visit to _the room_ came back into his mind.

_The door had a slight squeak when it was opened, and the noise always made his heart want to stop beating. There had been no shouting, and he had known that he was alone, so he stood in the middle of the room and looked around. The walls were getting a little crowded with the pictures he had taken. The dark room area that he had set up in the farthest corner away from him had been in use constantly, but apart from that, and coming in to put things away, Dominic tended to stay away from here._

_Now though, he looked around, he could see Jenna, Sam, Nadine and Mary Sue, as well as Tanisha and Lucy, the others hadn't been as special to him, except of course for the one, and she had almost an entire wall to herself. Her beauty, as always, left him breathless. She had been almost perfect in every way, her eyes, her voice, how she walked, and her hair, oh, her hair. Its feel, the way it swung as she moved, until she had cut it, the feelings of betrayal had come to the surface then and he had closed his eyes, trying to get the picture out of his mind of the day when they had been together, walking in the sunshine and she had told him that it was over, she was leaving, flying to Los Angeles the next day; he hadn't been able to believe it, had refused to accept what she was saying. She'd had a headscarf on, like a fifties movie star and when he had grabbed at her it had slid off, and he'd seen it, her hair, cut short, like a boy, all the beautiful silkiness gone, she had recognized the anger in his eyes, the hatred and had tried to run, but he hadn't let her. They had been in a park, just a little one across the street from where she lived, and he had launched himself at her, knowing that no one would answer her cries for help, it was mid afternoon, everyone was at work, children were at school, nobody would care that she was dying, right there in the pocket park._

_He'd had his knife in his jeans as always, New York was dangerous, you never knew when you might need it, and sometimes, when she hadn't been around, when he'd needed to be loved, to be wanted, it had come in handy. Now though, he turned it against his love, she had run from him, turning as she did so to see how close he was, and she'd fallen, her shoe coming off, and he had pounced, slicing through the sole of her foot with the knife, ripping off the other shoe to do the same thing again, stopping her from running, she would never run from him again, and as she had begged he had pulled her head back with her short hair, her horrid, horrid hair, and slit her throat._

His thoughts had taken him to the door of the recruitment agency and so, a smile on his face from his memories he had opened the door and entered, wondering where his journey would take him next.


	40. Like Pulling Teeth

**40 Like Pulling Teeth**

Jesse had arrived in the ER only to find Susan Hilliard once again working as a replacement for an ill member of staff. It was Shannon Farley who was unwell, and Jesse knew that Alex would be cast in the role of anxious boyfriend until she was healthy again.

The first patient through the doors after Jesse came on duty had suffered a spinal injury at work; Wil Collins began treating him, and Jesse, remembering what Susan had said about working with bad backs, had shooed her off in his direction.

At a little after ten Jesse exited the elevator just in front of Lauren Yung's office. Her receptionist smiled and he saw her tick his name off on a list. "She's ready for you, Doctor; won't you please go right on in?"

"Thanks." Jesse tapped on the door, and when he heard a soft voice call out he entered.

"Jesse, take a seat, how nice to see you." Lauren smiled at her client, what she said was true; she did enjoy seeing the young man now sitting opposite her. He had begun to take steps in the right direction, and she was anxious to hear how he had coped with being home with his family since Rae had been taken ill. "The last I heard you called to let me know you were going to be looking after the children while Rae got some much needed rest."

"Yeah, but, well, you know what our lives are like, it sort of, didn't really turn out that way."

"Oh, but everything was alright?" Lauren looked concerned, but Jesse seemed relaxed and she was relieved to see him nod his head. Gradually she heard all about the Night Owl burglars, the way he had felt, how he had watched his wife and realised that she was just as expert in her line of work as he was in his, that each of them could help and protect the other. He told her about Rae cutting herself, how he had been able to hold her, to treat her, and then gradually begin to allow himself to get close to her again. Finally, he explained a little about the house and how he and Rae had stood in their front yard and kissed, really kissed, for the first time in months.

"Well, I think that you're doing great, don't expect it to be smooth sailing from now on, but you have made huge steps since I last saw you, and I am just delighted for you and your family."

"Thank you" Jesse beamed, he was pretty delighted himself. "There is just one thing." Jesse almost didn't want to mention it, he wanted to be positive, upbeat, but when he had talked with Rae something had worried him.

"What is it?" For a moment Lauren saw the concern in Jesse's eyes, and hoped that she would be able to dispel it.

"When I was speaking with Rae, telling her things, I … I couldn't remember some of the names or what had happened, why?"

"Good things or bad?" Lauren hoped he would say the latter and smiled when he did just that. "Oh, well, that's easy, I can answer that one." The smile which she got from Jesse was open and instant. "You are talking about stressful instances, your brain shuts out some of it, gets rid of the pressure, so you might not be able to remember a location, or a name, or just what you did, another time you might remember that, but forget something else."

"Thank you." Jesse was relieved, he knew now that Steve had gone to replace the lite beer he'd brought with them and that he had been with Trask, but when he was talking with Rae, neither fact would come to mind. "I'd still like to come see you, just for a while longer."

"Good, I think it would be for the best. Jesse, there will be setbacks, or glitches, there always are, if you're still seeing me we can clear them up right away." Lauren stood up and extended her hand towards her patient. "I'm delighted you feel the way you do, keep going and everything will be fine again."

Jesse nodded, and with a smile he took the offered hand into his own and shook it gently "When I need to see you can I just book up or should I make a monthly appointment or something?"

"I would suggest a monthly appointment speak to my secretary when you leave and she'll pencil you in, ok? I know you may have to change things at the last minute, but it's better if you have a set time." Lauren made a note on the pad in front of her and then looked at Jesse once more. He didn't have anything else to say and so, with the smile still on his face, he turned and left the room.

ooo

The recruitment agency was a light and airy place with lots of green plants in pots topped with little pebbles. Dominic had found himself a seat in the corner of the room so that he could watch all the comings and goings of the employees and clients. He liked to people watch, always had done. Even when he wasn't looking for anyone in particular he still watched.

Dominic had been in for his initial interview, had given the details of the various jobs he had held over the years and shown his references. Some of them, he had to admit, were not as genuine as they appeared, but no one had ever checked them all before.

"Mr. Large?" He had watched a young woman with shoulder-length hair as she walked towards him, now she spoke and he stood up.

"Yes, that's me."

"We have checked a couple of vacancies which may suit you. Usually people want to come work in California, not leave it."

"I know, it's a great place, but I want to travel around for a while, see some more of this country, or other countries, and get paid for it."

"Well, one of these might just do that for you. Travel you said, maybe in the industry or a sales job, which takes you from place to place. We have both types of vacancy, so take your time and see what you think of these." The young woman gave Dominic three sheets of heavy paper with typewritten details on it; she then smiled at him again and left him to read through the information.

Fifteen minutes later he was hailing a cab, just outside on the sidewalk, hoping that the interview he was going to would be the beginning of a whole new adventure.

ooo

The home that Callum and Melina Edwards lived in was very spacious; it had beautiful grounds around it and was almost entirely white. It told all the neighbours and passers by that here lived a successful family although the sounds of raised voices heard regularly from inside also told them that they weren't necessarily happy.

Steve and Rae had decided in the car that she would do the talking, at least initially, and so it was Rae that pressed the doorbell and waited as the chimes echoed inside the house. They both heard the sound of high heels on a hard floor of some kind, which got louder as the owner reached the door.

Rae had her ID in her hand and she smiled as she spoke. "Hi, my name is Detective Yeager, LAPD; we'd like to speak with Callum Edwards please."

"Oh, um, yeah, sure, won't you please come in?" the young woman looked momentarily nonplussed, but she seemed to regain her composure quite easily and smiled as she indicated for Rae and Steve to enter. "Callum, Honey, could you come here a minute?"

"What is it now, Lina? I told you, no work no vacations, it's as simple as … Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise we had guests." A tall young man, with a pleasant open face and a ready smile came towards them his hand extended in welcome.

"That's alright, Sir, I'm Detective Reagan Yeager, LADP, and this is my partner Lieutenant Steve Sloan."

"I was wondering who you were." Melina's voice came out very seductively and, as Steve felt himself begin to blush, Callum rounded on her.

"For God's sake, Melina, leave him be. Detective, what was it that you needed?" Callum had glared at his wife, but the expression had been wiped as he turned back to Rae.

"We need to speak with you, Sir, and it may take some time, is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

"Sure, come on into my office." Callum led the way down the hall and into a large, bright and airy room. There was a bank of computers on one wall; Rae counted six in all, two laptops on separate desks and a handheld pad resting on a small stand. Also in the room were various musical instruments, all of them stringed. There was a violin and cello resting on a table and floor stand respectively, a guitar leaning up against a door, and a double bass which was sitting on its own in what appeared to be a specially built alcove.

"Wow, do you play all of these?" Rae looked around, she preferred the sounds made by the saxophone, but had to admit that the mixture of the technology of computers along with the more basic features of the various instruments was aesthetically pleasing.

"Yes, I do, and the piano too, but it sort of overpowered the place, so I have that in the next room." Callum opened a door near one of the huge picture windows and both Rae and Steve could see into a smaller space dominated by a grand piano.

"I'm guessing that you didn't come to purchase my latest teach-yourself CD Rom, so what can I do for you?" Callum Edwards looked friendly but obviously concerned by the presence of the police in his home. Melina had followed the three of them and now sat in one of the extremely comfortable looking black leather reclining chairs which furnished the room.

"We need to speak with you privately, Sir; you may not wish your wife to be present." Rae smiled as she spoke, but her voice showed that the matter was serious.

"I have no secrets from my wife, as boring as that may sound, so, unless you wish her to leave, I don't mind her staying." Callum indicated with his hand as he spoke and both Rae and Steve sat down.

For a moment the room was quiet, but then, gathering her thoughts together, Rae began to speak. "Sir, do you know an Elizabeth Masters?"

Callum's face clouded over. "I did, Detective, she was my birth mother, unfortunately she was killed a few months ago now. I wondered when you would discover my existence."

"We discovered it a little while ago but you were out of town, we figured we could wait for your return." Rae smiled, there was something very pleasant about the young man in front of her and, despite the evidence to the contrary, she couldn't see him killing his mother in cold blood.

"Have you been following us, Detective?" Melina Edwards turned her gaze on Rae until she had to look away.

"No, Ma'am, but we made enquiries so that we could come speak with your husband." Rae hoped that neither of the people in the room with her realised that the Chief of Police had indeed been following them all over the island of Barbados.

"I had known her for just over a year when she … when she died, and I was starting to enjoy her company, to look forward to spending time with her." Callum began to talk as if neither Melina nor Rae had said anything, then he paused for a moment but Rae made no move to fill the silence. "I wish that I had been man enough to forgive her for what she did to me when I first met her, maybe then we would have had more pleasant times together and less tense ones."

"I see, so it was a little stormy when you first made contact with her then?" Rae had taken her notebook out of her pocket and was marking down the odd comment here and there.

"We didn't contact each other, I left my name with the agency which arranged the adoption, stating that if my birth mother or father wished to get in touch with me then I wanted to be notified. When Elizabeth did the same thing the agency let both of us know and we talked on the phone." Callum paused, it had been an amazing moment when he had spoken to his real mother for the first time, and one he had imagined and fantasized about ever since he had found out he was adopted at the age of eight. For the first week or so he had just been astonished and delighted, but it hadn't stayed like that.

"And you had been talking to each other ever since then?" Rae had expected the mother and son to have only found each other very recently, the passing of a year between the original conversation and her murder didn't make any sense to her, but sometimes neither did anything else about her job so she battled on.

"Yeah, first of all we arranged to speak to each other on the phone once a week to try to learn a little about each other. But it's hard, you know, to talk to someone about the trivialities of life when you really want to ask deep and meaningful stuff. I … I wasn't very nice to her, and I regret it now."

"Yeah, well, she was a starchy old crone, twelve months to unbend enough to let Simon call her grandma." Melina joined in the conversation in a voice that showed exactly what she thought of Elizabeth Masters.

"It wasn't anything like twelve months. Lina, you had very little to do with her, so just leave it, ok?" Callum looked at his watch, "Don't you have to be at work soon?"

"What? Oh yeah, whatever, if I'm not there on time Sheila will stall for me, she always does." Melina checked her own watch and then shook her head.

"I may run a successful business, but we need your money too, so I would suggest that you get a move on!" Callum seemed to forget the two police officers in the room and began to vent his fury on his wife.

"Sir, if you don't mind, we would like your wife to remain, she may be able to help us as well." Steve decided that it was time for him to join in the conversation, something was niggling away at him and he didn't think letting anyone leave was a good idea right now. He knew that Rae had a feeling that she had missed something about this case, and he felt that way too. She had told him about watching the video, about the strange movements the man had made, and when he had seen it himself he had recognised it as someone cracking their neck. Rae had shuddered, told him that it gave her the whim whams, and he had been a little concerned to see she grew pale at the thought of it.

"Oh, oh, well, in that case, that's fine then." Callum seemed to splutter a little bit, but soon recovered himself. "Sorry, where was I?"

"You and your mother didn't really know what to say to each other." Rae looked up from her notes.

"We didn't, it was, awkward, y'know? So I suggested that we e-mail each other, we could ask any questions we wanted to, and if the other person didn't want to answer then they just ignored them. You can read over an e-mail too, change the things that are rude or whatever. We found out a lot about each other that way, and it seemed to break the ice. After one month of calls and three months of writing we arranged to meet." For a minute there was silence as Callum seemed to retreat into his memories a little, but then his wife joined the conversation again, shattering the moment.

"And how did it go? That's what you're going to ask, isn't it? Well, why don't you answer that one, Callum?" Lina's voice was getting harder all the time, and Rae knew that whatever it was that was annoying her was getting closer and closer to the surface; she also knew that if it carried on then she would have to ask her to leave.

"Lina and Simon came with me, I guess that was a bad idea, but I thought, hey, safety in numbers, y'know?" Callum's speech patterns had changed and Rae knew he was getting nervous. "It was a disaster, for a start it rained, Elizabeth got soaked because we were late, she sheltered in her car, but she had been waiting for us by a newspaper stand, and wasn't impressed that she got wet on the way back to the parking lot. The whole day was just a strain from start to finish."

"She was, I don't know, real rigid, formal; she didn't seem to bend at all. Every time Simon laughed or giggled she glared at him." Lina had relaxed a little, but it was still clear that she didn't like Elizabeth Masters one bit.

"I called her up the next day to apologise, and suggested that we meet again, just the two of us and she agreed."

"Was it better second time around?" Rae had been taking notes but missing bits, and she hoped that Steve was more caught up than she was.

"Oh yes, definitely. We met at a Mexican restaurant in Santa Barbara and we talked and chatted for hours. We booked a reservation for seven and were still there at eleven. I … I dreamt all my life that somewhere I had a real family, one just for me, but it wasn't like I imagined at all, I'd had a brother and a sister, but they were dead, my mom was divorced, since before I was born, she said that my dad didn't even know I existed. That was hard, the hardest."

"And you didn't feel any need to get to know your husband's birth mom?" Steve looked over at Lina; there was something about her body language now that worried him.

Lina had stood up, she was behind the chair, almost using it as a shield. "Nope, she was all his as far as I was concerned. I don't talk to my own mom, why should I talk to anyone else's?"

"Sir, I have to ask you what you were doing on the day that your mother was killed." Rae looked Callum Edwards right in the eye but she saw nothing but pain.

"I was in London, there was a conference being held there, for the makers of educational music programmes. I … I." For a moment his eyes filled with tears and Callum struggled to control himself. "I think I was visiting my brother and sisters' graves about the time that my mother was killed."

"Oh, for goodness sake, Callum, you had never met them, hardly knew her, pull yourself together!"

"Mrs Edwards, maybe we could go and make a coffee or something, what do you say?" Rae stood up, hoping that it gave the woman the idea that the thing to actually say was yes.

"Sure, why not," Lina didn't even look at her husband as she left the room, and both Steve and Rae had no doubt as to the state of the Edwards marriage.

ooo

Jo had spent the best part of the morning listening to Debbie go on and on about the wedding in Mexico, looked at what seemed like hundreds of photos and two specially made DVDs. Making the excuse that she needed to get herself a drink she had escaped into the kitchen for a few moments, and as she leant against the counter Jo let her mind run back to when she had married Steve.

He had been so against a big wedding, had wanted something simple and intimate instead. The beach house had been the ideal location, and Jo knew that however many weddings she attended or watched later she would love her own one the best of all. For a few seconds she let her hands rest on her stomach, usually so slim it was apparent, to her at least, that she was pregnant, and she was looking forward to the time when everyone could see that she was carrying her husband's child.

The sound of the front door bell startled Jo but as Debbie had been whittling on about a parcel _Davie_ had sent her for most of the morning she decided to let her sister-in-law answer it. Jo knew that most houses in the street had their mail left in boxes, but Pete, who delivered their letters, usually stopped for a brief chat with Michael at least once or twice a week and often came right to the door whether he needed to or not.

The door closed with a bang, Debbie wouldn't consider treating the man as anything other than an employee, and sure enough she was soon bemoaning him to Jo in the now spoilt sanctuary of her kitchen.

"Well, I don't know why you let that man come right on up to the house, you bein' in a delicate state an' all, an' no Michael either. He wanted to know who I was, whether I could sign for a letter, I told him, I'm her sister-in-law … I was gonna say some more, but then he thrust his little pad under my nose an' I had to sign it with a plastic stick!"

Jo couldn't help herself, she had to laugh. "That is just an electronic mail recorder, or whatever they are called. I must have had registered mail." Jo waited, she knew, or thought she knew, what it was that had come.

"Oh, yes, Honey, I'm sorry, I was so excited to get my parcel, I plum clean forgot. It's just this here envelope. It looks mighty official to me." The curiosity was apparent in Debbie's voice, and Jo knew that she would be delighted with the contents of her package.

"Come into the mornin' room an' I'll let you have your weddin' present." She smiled, the present wasn't really for Debbie at all, but for David, the home he had grown up in, but never owned was now his, she hoped he would get as much pleasure out of it as Rae and Jesse appeared to be getting from their house.

"Well, I will, but I just need to go an' get me somethin' from my room, would you excuse me?"

"Sure, I'll wait in there for you." Jo wandered off with the envelope still in her hand, the chance to be alone, even for a few more minutes very welcome.

Debbie watched her until the door to the morning room closed and then she slipped the second recorded delivery envelope out from underneath her own parcel. This would settle that woman's hash once and for all, and in the next half hour or so her carefully laid plans would ensure that there would be no way to connect her to any of it.

ooo

The kitchen, like the other parts of the house that Rae had seen, was white. The cupboards and closets were white, so was the floor, the counter was a medium wood and the blinds were a golden yellow. The whole effect was one of cost, probably at the expense of practicality, but Rae complimented her hostess on it nevertheless.

"What a lovely kitchen, you have a beautiful home, Mrs. Edwards."

"Thank you, and it's Lina, I like it, always have, Callum wasn't sure, but I knew, the moment I saw it, I just had to have it."

"Mrs. Edwards did you go with your husband to London?" Rae sat herself down on a high stool, her feet only just resting on the metal bar across the legs.

"Are you kidding? No way, I may be a dentist, Detective, but I don't like to be bored. I stayed here with Simon, and we had a far more exciting time."

"And the day in question, the 30th September, do you know what you did then?"

"No, Detective, I told you, I was with Simon."

"Your son attends school, Mrs Edwards, were you working during that time?" Rae sensed a change in the atmosphere of the kitchen, Melina Edwards was uneasy, and Rae, highly experienced and successful at her job, knew that she had the advantage, but she had no idea what it was yet, and she needed to keep questioning her.

"I don't know, probably, if it was a weekday, yes, I was working." Lina smiled as she finished speaking as if that was an end to it and she turned away from Rae, her back also telling the world that she had nothing further to say and then she moved in an instantly familiar way.

"My God, it was you!" Rae hadn't meant to speak out loud but she had suddenly realised what she seen on the tape. The back view hadn't been a man, the entire time she had been sure that the killer had been male, but she had been wrong. Melina Edwards kept her hair short, it was probably an extremely expensive cut, and on a slightly blurry video film it just looked like a man's style, but it was more than the style, it was what she did, that strange movement which had confused her so much, now that too was clear. "You would keep all your records on file, so that can be easily verified I'm sure." She tried to cover up her mistake, but the words sounded hollow to Rae's ears and she wondered whether her companion had picked up on it.

Lina moved closer to the kettle, opening one of the kitchen drawers as she did so. "And you can't take my word for it?"

Rae felt the beginnings of a dangerous situation, and battled to keep calm in a room certain to contain sharp knives if nothing else. Her own weapon was sitting reassuringly on her hip, but she didn't want to use it, not if she could possibly avoid it. "No, Ma'am, I think that we both know I can't do that. Please, move away from the drawer, come back into the middle of the kitchen."

"Detective_, I think that we both know_ you may have to do that." Melina did as she was asked and turned towards Rae, who saw the gun that was now pointed at her.

ooo

Steve had smiled at Callum Edwards as the two women left the room. He felt no embarrassment for the young man that his wife was behaving as she was, it could be a way to get more information that he would normally do.

"You need to excuse Lina, we have a volatile relationship but she and I understand each other, we get on pretty good."

"Mr. Edwards, do you have the paperwork to prove that you were in London at the time of your mother's death?" Steve thought that Melina would have a volatile relationship with most people, but decided to say nothing.

"Yeah, it's over here, I keep all my things in this one room, so it won't take long." Callum got to his feet and made his way to a large silver cabinet. He opened the second drawer down and flicked through the files for a moment before pulling the one he needed. "Here we go. London, September 28th to October 5th, 2003. I wanted Lina to come with me but she wouldn't and I have to say she was probably right, it was a bit dull, but I'd never been to London before, and that part of it was fun."

Steve stood behind Callum as he sorted through the paperwork until he retrieved the stubs from his airline tickets, the booking slips and credit card bills, all of which proved that someone, probably Callum Edwards, but definitely someone, had stayed in London over the relevant period of time.

ooo

Rae swallowed down the taste of fear that had invaded her throat. "Mrs Edwards, please put the gun down, you are only making things worse for yourself and your family."

"My family is what this is all about, Detective. She had no other ties, but would she share? No. She wanted to see Callum, but not Simon; can you imagine how that hurt? Her own grandchild and she didn't want to see him. Don't move, Detective!"

Rae had tried to edge off the stool she was sitting on, but the movement had been seen instantly, and the gun wavered a little in Mrs Edwards's hand, giving Rae no reason to try it again.

"Look, this is my baby, why wouldn't she want to spend time with him?" Lina moved nearer to Rae, and for a second she considered trying to grab the gun but, as if anticipating her move, the woman stopped just out of her reach. The photo was of a four-year-old boy, Rae guessed, and she had seen it when she entered the room, sitting proudly in its frame on the counter. As she looked at it now though Rae knew why Elizabeth Masters had shut Simon out. "You know what? I'm glad she's dead, family should come before everything else, and she wasn't doing that."

"Mrs Edwards, please, put the gun down, it will be so much better for you if you do." Rae was getting more scared the longer this went on. She knew that in a few minutes Steve would wonder where the tea was and maybe he or Mr. Edwards would come looking for her. She didn't want that to happen. "Mrs. Masters was a very wealthy woman, but her life had been unspeakably tragic, and your little boy looks just like the son she lost, that must have been very hard for her." Once again Rae tried to move a little, hoping that she could somehow gain the advantage.

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you, Detective, I think you can guess what will happen if you move off that stool." Lina Edwards had the gun a little steadier in her hand now and it was pointing straight at Rae. She moved closer and Rae kept her hands in front of her, not daring to move for her own weapon, and feeling the hair on her neck stand up as she fought her panic down again. "You frightened me, asked me awkward questions and then reached inside your jacket, I thought you were going for your gun, so I just went for mine first."

"Mrs Edwards, please." Rae moved unconsciously on the stool and as she did so her whole body exploded in pain, she heard a loud noise, and then she was falling into nothingness.

ooo

The phone on Cheryl's desk was ringing intently as she returned from briefing the Captain on where his homicide officers were and what they were doing. The lectures he had given must have gone well, she didn't remember the last time she had seen him so relaxed.

"Detective Banks … ok, where? Yeah, I know where that is, I'll be about thirty, thirty-five minutes." Cheryl put the phone down and made a few notes. A middle-aged man, maybe fifty years old, accountant by trade, had been found by his, now hysterical, secretary sitting in his car in the underground parking lot with his brains all over the windshield.

Hoping against hope that there were at least some security cameras or guards to help her Cheryl shrugged herself into her jacket and headed for the stairs.

ooo

"You understand that I'll have to double check all of this." Steve leant over and picked up the paperwork.

"Oh yeah, but let me have it back, huh? I need it for my tax returns… What the hell?" As Callum finished speaking a sound filled the air, one that he didn't recognise, but Steve definitely did.

"That was gunfire!" Steve was on his feet, his own gun in his hand. "Stay here." The door to the office closed on his words and for a second Callum Edwards was alone.

Steve wasn't sure where he was going, but as he saw Melina come out of a room, a gun in her hand he flattened against the wall calling out as he did so. "Drop your weapon!"

Mrs Edwards wheeled round, firing again in the general direction of his voice. It went wide of its target and Steve dropped her with one shot before running towards her and kicking the gun out of her reach. The blood flowed from Lina's upper chest; Steve was a good shot he had hit his target exactly where he wanted to. He could see that she was still conscious and so he barked at her. "Get up! Rae, where are you?"

"Wh … what?" Melina's voice was a little fuzzy but Steve couldn't hear Rae and he had no time for sympathy. Hauling her by the left arm he pulled her to her feet and pushed her into the kitchen. Once there he took his cuffs off the back of his belt and pulled her hands together behind her, ignoring the cry of pain it caused. He sat her on the floor knowing that she would be unable to get up unaided. "Stay right there." Once he was satisfied that his prisoner wasn't going anywhere he looked around, first of all seeing nothing, but as he moved a little bit Steve saw his partner, partially hidden by the island unit in the middle of the room.

"Rae!" She was lying on her back, blood coming from a wound in her chest, and as Steve heard a gasp from behind him he turned, his gun still in his hand, to see the shocked face of Callum Edwards. "Sir, just stay there." Steve pulled his cell phone from his pocket and punched in a number. "This is Lieutenant Steve Sloan, 15H4K, I have a Code 3, repeat a Code 3 and an officer down at 229 Memorial Boulevard … How long …? No, I guess not." He listened for a second and then closed down his phone.

"Lina, my God, what happened, did you do this, Lieutenant?" Callum looked at his wife, the front of her shirt was now covered in blood and he grabbed a dishcloth from a drawer and pressed it against the wound.

"Arghhh," the painful cry escaped her before she could gather herself, but once she had done Melina Edwards just glared at her husband. "I did it, for you."

"What, you did what?" Callum, who couldn't see Rae's body, was still confused.

"She shot my partner, Mr …"

"Shot? You shot a cop for me, why?" Callum's interruption was one of astonishment.

"No ..." Melina lapsed into silence, but Callum had an awful feeling that if it wasn't Detective Yeager she was talking about then there was only one other explanation. His mind reeled, he couldn't take it in, his wife had killed one woman and shot another, and in shock Callum Edwards backed away before sliding down the smooth surface of the kitchen door to lean heavily against it, shutting and blocking the exit as he did so.

Steve listened, knowing he should be writing down anything that was said, but then he heard a movement from his partner and crossed the floor to be next to her.

"Rae, can you hear me?"

"Steve … Oh … God … what happ … ened?" Rae's breath was ragged and Steve could hear the air enter and leave the wound he could see on her chest. He knew that was bad and was even more worried than he had been.

"Shhh, it's ok, you've been shot."

"I … don't like … it." Rae pulled a face and moved her hand towards him.

"No, I don't like it either." Steve had to smile at her comment.

"First … first time." Rae took in another ragged breath. "She … I think … she did … I … Steve … I … can't … can't breathe." The perspiration on Rae's forehead stood out and she seemed to stiffen for a moment, but then she went limp and Steve knew that, for the time being at least, the pain had gone for her.

"What are we gonna do?" Callum's voice was shaky, and Steve turned from his partner for a minute to answer him. He could see that the man was very shocked and, although he didn't want to, Steve moved away from Rae and towards the seated man.

"We are gonna wait for the ambulance and the units I called. Mr. Edwards your wife tried to kill my partner." Steve couldn't continue and realising what he needed to do he moved over to where Melina Edwards was leaning back against the kitchen cabinets. "Mrs Edwards, can you hear me?"

"Yes … Lieutenant, I hear you." Her voice was edged with pain, but there was more, there was anger, his prisoner was furious.

"Melina Edwards I am arresting you for the attempted murder of Detective Reagan Yeager. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?"

"Yes, Lieutenant." Melinda lapsed back into silence and Steve turned to return to his partner, reacting in horror again, but this time because Rae was blue around the lips, and her breathing was almost impossible to see or hear except where it shouldn't be either visible or audible on her chest. Steve crouched down beside her and lifted up her top, the wound, where the bullet had entered, was still letting out blood and taking in air, he knew that he needed to do something fast.

"Callum, come over here, now!" Steve's voice was full of urgency and something in it got through to the young man, who stood up, glanced at his wife and then moved slowly towards where the two police officers were. The air was silent, there was no sound, no traffic noises, or bird song, and Callum Edwards could hear his own heart beating so loudly that he was surprised no one had commented on it.

"Press down on the wound, try to stop the blood flow." Steve pushed a latex glove at the man, watched as he put it on and then pulled his phone out of his pocket and punched in the familiar number. "Emergency Room please … Doctor Sloan, please, its urgent … Dad?" Mark must have been standing right by the desk, and Steve felt the relief hit him in a wave as he heard his father's voice. "Dad, I need your help, Rae's been shot … in the chest … she's … she's … they said ten minutes for the ambulance, Dad, I don't know that she has ten minutes … I can hear air, like she's sucking it in … no, I'm calm … of course I do, but I don't see … oh, yeah, yeah, hold on…" Steve looked into the face of the man he knew to be Chief Masters' son, "I need tape, any type, sticky." He pressed back down on the wound himself and watched as the man rushed to a drawer by the sink and pulled it open.

"Here."

"You need to do it, pull some off when I tell you. Press this again." The instructions he was giving were barked, but Steve couldn't help it, he was scared, medicine wasn't his field, that was down to his dad, Amanda and Jesse, but he would do it, he'd helped people before, and would do again, this was just one of many times but he never liked it.

"Ok, we have the tape," Steve was taking his wallet out of his pocket as he spoke, his ear pressing the phone into his shoulder, and he shook out the first credit card he saw. "I've wiped it, but there isn't that much blood … yeah, right over it …? Hold on, I need to put you on the floor." Carefully but quickly Steve did just that and then he positioned the card over the bullet hole. He picked up his cell and spoke again. "Dad … It's done … Callum, tape." Steve watched as, with shaking hands, the white masking tape was used over the short end of his credit card, "again, twice more." The tape was puckered and way too long but the piece of plastic was now attached on three of its four sides to Rae's chest and Steve leant back on his haunches, he knew that there was nothing else he could do, except listen to her compromised breathing, wait for the sound of sirens, and pray that the ten minute time frame would be short enough to save his friend.


	41. It's Only Words

**Chapter 41 It's only Words**

The sound of someone calling his name made Jesse look up from the work he was doing on the index finger of a very green looking fisherman. The hook, which had imbedded itself and then protruded out of the other side of that finger, was now lying in a metal dish and Jesse was carefully stitching up the two wounds.

"I'm in here, Mark." He looked up for a second and saw his friend moving towards the sound of his voice and, with a smile, carried on with what he was doing. "I won't be a minute, I'm almost finished." The tousled blonde head was lowered over his work and Mark stood in the doorway watching the total concentration his young friend exuded as he carefully, and neatly, tied off the thread and then relaxed. "Ok, just a tetanus shot and we're done."

"Jesse, I think I'll get someone else to take care of that for you." Mark knew that the news he had to impart needed to be given right away. He had been worried by what Steve had told him, and the time, which seemed to pass so quickly, worried him even more.

"Oh, right." Jesse was troubled now, he didn't like the tone of Mark's voice and he looked around for another doctor to come and take over from him. "Wil, could you help?" The sight of his friend and colleague, as he crossed the main reception area of the ER, was a welcome one and Jesse breathed a sigh of relief, even though he had no idea yet what was wrong.

"Sure, no problem, I didn't want a coffee and donut anyway, they're bad for you."

"I owe you one. There's just a tetanus shot to give here and then sign this gentleman out." Jesse didn't even wait to hear Wil's reply, he could tell that Mark was very worried about something and he knew that he was going to feel that way himself very soon.

ooo

The sound of sirens gradually intruded into the silence of the kitchen at Callum Edwards' home. No words had been spoken since the improvised treatment for Rae had finished, now though, Steve crouched down and gently laid his hand against her neck, feeling for, and finding, a pulse, faint but there and then he took the gun from her holster and pushed it into his belt on the back of his pants.

The movement seemed to spur Callum into action and he began to speak. "She shot your partner, I … I can't believe it, I'm sorry, Lieutenant." He had moved over to stand next to the still form of his wife, not really wanting to, but feeling that he should. She had drifted off into unconsciousness while they had been treating Rae but Steve hadn't really taken the fact in. The shock in Callum's voice was evident and Steve realised that he believed the young man.

"I'm sure you are." Steve answered the man, but he had no interest in the conversation, nor did he want to extend it. Rae was, quite probably, dying in front of him, right now nothing else mattered.

"You … you knew we'd been away, you were checking on us, it never occurred to me that … that we would be … watched."

"Of course we checked, it's what we do." Steve didn't even turn his head, keeping his eyes on his partner the entire time, trying not to listen to the raggedness of her breathing.

"I guess it is. I've never been involved with the police before. Well, apart from a couple of parking tickets and wondering whether to join them when I left college." Callum paused to think for a moment, he knew he was babbling, but he was scared, this was his home, things like this didn't happen in your own home. "What happens now? To Lina I mean. You arrested her, but she can still go to the hospital can't she?"

"Yes, she'll go in a separate ambulance, and have a guard on her door. Once she's well enough she'll be taken down town, arraigned and jailed. Mr. Edwards, she tried to murder a police officer, which is a federal offence." Steve closed his eyes for a moment, he knew that Melina Edwards might yet have succeeded and killed his partner.

There was a loud banging on the door at that moment, and Steve, his gun back in his hand, made his way towards it.

"Police, open up!"

"This is Lieutenant Sloan, LAPD, lower your weapon."

"Let me see some ID." The voice was closer now and Steve re-holstered his weapon before taking his wallet out of his pocket and moving nearer to the front door.

"I'm gonna open the door, just a little and pass you my wallet." He did just that and there was a pause, which, Steve knew, was the checking process and then the voice spoke again.

"Ok, you can open the door all the way now, Sir."

Steve did as he was told, making sure that both his holstered gun and his badge were in plain view of the very young man standing with his own weapon now trained into the house. "Officer, the scene is secure, but I need medical assistance. I've called for ambulances; you need to make sure they're let straight through."

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"I'll need an escort for a prisoner to the hospital and then guard duty round the clock. I'll go with my partner."

"Your partner is injured, Sir?"

"Yes, my partner is injured, which is why I called officer down!" Steve could hear the anger in his voice and tried to push it away.

"I'm sorry, Sir." The young man touched his cap, but Steve just glared at him, he didn't have time for small talk.

"Don't worry about it." The sound of further sirens caught Steve's attention and he moved outside the door, nodding to the other cop standing on the driveway, listening and scanning the area at the same time.

"Lieutenant, the ambulances just arrived."

Resisting the urge to say he could actually see that for himself Steve breathed a sigh of relief and watched as the first gurney was pulled from the back of one of the vehicles.

ooo

Jesse sat in traffic and tried, unsuccessfully, to reduce his panic to bearable levels. He knew that he had worried Mark, had caused him concern, when he was already trying not to over-react himself. As the vehicle in front of him inched forwards, maybe twelve to eighteen inches, Jesse found himself back in the doctors' lounge, trying not to yell at his friend to get him to tell him what the matter was before he closed the door.

_"Jesse, Steve just called me from Santa Barbara."_

_He had known instantly who he needed to worry about. "Rae … Rae went to Santa Barbara with him today, Mark, what's happened?" He could hear the hysterical edge to his voice, but could do nothing to reduce it._

_"I don't know, not exactly, but Rae has been shot."_

_The room had seemed to move away from Jesse as he registered what his friend said to him. "No … no, not again … it can't happen … it was just words, she said it … was … only words." Jesse had backed away from Mark, as far as he could until the outside wall of the building had stopped his momentum._

_"Jess?" The puzzlement had been apparent in Mark's voice but Jesse had ignored him._

_"My fault … the words, they make it my fault … why, Mark? I believed her, I … almost believed her, and I told her … everything and now this … Oh, God, now this." He had slid down the wall, having to move, having to do something, and when he reached the floor Jesse had wrapped his arms around his head, wanting the feelings, the worries, everything to go away and leave him alone, but knowing that they wouldn't._

_"Jesse!" The voice had shocked him because it was one he hadn't expected to hear and he wondered briefly how long he had been sitting there._

_"I hope you don't mind, but I called Lauren, I figured she could help you if you would let her." Mark hadn't known how Jesse would react to the news he had to give him, Jesse had seen that in his eyes, but to have invited his counsellor was the best thing he could have done, because she understood, he had told her things he couldn't tell even Mark, and after the elder man had quietly left the room Lauren had crouched down in front of Jesse and taken him into her arms._

_"This isn't your fault … I know …" She had changed her tone of voice, and instead of interrupting as he had wanted, Jesse had remained silent, "you told Rae, and now she's hurt, but the two are not connected. This morning you would have known that, right now you have to believe it, believe it, get in your car and go to her, because there isn't anyone else in the world that she needs as much as you. Even the surgeons can't give her what you can, do you understand that?"_

_Jesse had looked up, he felt as if he was trying to battle his way out of a thick fog and he remembered the relief he had felt when Rae had found him in the ruins of the garage and as he did so he realised that what he could give her was similar to what she gave him and he nodded._

_"I know, I really do know, but … but."_

_"There are no buts, Jesse, Mark told me what happened, I know it's serious, and you need to be on your way. If you want I can drive you up there myself, I happen to have some free time today to try and cope with my paperwork, but I would happily put that aside if you think you can't manage on your own or I know that Mark or Amanda would offer too."_

_He had smiled, the idea of travelling with someone else was a welcome one, "I'll ask them, if you don't mind, it'll … it'll help Steve too."_

_Lauren had joined him in the smile, carefully let go of him, and stood up. "That's fine, but you tell Rae I'm pulling for her, ok?"_

"Jesse, do you want me to take the next exit and go another way?" Amanda's voice was soft and gentle and Jesse turned towards it.

"Yes, yes, that would be good, I … I don't want to be too late. I can't be … mustn't be … we need … I …" He knew that he was jabbering, making no sense, but the words had kept coming and he had begun to look around for a map, not stopping until Amanda placed her hand on his arm.

"Shhh, I know the way, I've driven to Santa Barbara lots of times, you close your eyes, there are about ten, fifteen cars to the next turnoff, and once we get there I'll cut across country. It's a little longer, but I don't think it will take any more time than sitting in this.

"Thank you, and you're sure that Ron is ok to have the boys?"

"Jesse, we're getting married in three weeks, if he can't cope with them alone by now then he's not the man I think he is." She smiled, even in this tense situation, the prospect of her wedding filled her heart with happiness.

"We have a dress fitting at the end of the week."

"Good grief, however do you know that?" Amanda was amazed and she knew she sounded it.

"Rae wrote it on the calendar and I saw it there this morning."

"Ah, I knew it wouldn't be something you remembered all by yourself." Amanda chuckled, she wanted to keep the conversation light, the hold up in their journey was both annoying and frustrating, but it could be worse than that. Mark had told her how Rae had been shot in the chest and the procedure that had been done as he relayed it to Steve down the phone. She knew that any delay could be deadly and had been praying silently, since she heard the news, that her friend would cheat death once again.

Two cars in front of her suddenly pulled onto the hard shoulder and sped for the exit ramp and, mentally crossing her fingers, Amanda followed them. She knew that if she were stopped she could explain her actions away, but nothing happened, no sirens suddenly split the air, and, letting go a huge sigh, she turned onto the road for Santa Barbara and pushed her car to the maximum speed allowed.

ooo

The waiting room in the Santa Barbara Citizens Hospital was neither as friendly nor as comfortable as the doctor's lounge at Community General. Steve had been sitting on a very hard chair for over an hour and he wished with all his heart that he was anywhere but where he actually was.

He had called Jo and she was going to pick the girls up from Sally, wondering as he did so whether Daniel was behaving himself at school. Jo hadn't said anything so he guessed that so far the boy must have been feeling better about things. Steve purposely hadn't mentioned Debbie, knowing that whatever she had spent her time doing that Monday, Jo wouldn't have liked it and he didn't think he could cope with hearing about it at the moment.

Steve let his mind go back over the weekend that had just passed. The way that Rae and Jesse had been together, almost like old times. He knew that Jess had been struggling for a long while, but seeing him laugh and joke and enjoy the company of his friends again had made him realise just how much he missed the old Jesse. They didn't seem to do very many things together any more, even their shifts at Bob's never matched. He would change that, as soon as Rae was out of danger, he and Jesse could get together and just enjoy each other's company again.

For a minute Steve thought about Rae, he had stood helplessly by as she had been checked over rapidly and then very carefully and gently placed on a backboard, her neck and spine immobilized until the full extent of her injuries were known. The journey following the ambulance had been almost surreal and part of him had expected the trip to end in the familiar bay at Community General, which it obviously hadn't. But the strangest part was being an outsider in a hospital, no one knew either himself or his partner, she was just a number, and he wasn't even that. He realised how lucky he had been over the years to not only have had a dad who was a doctor but also a hospital to go to where he was known and liked. The thought made Steve smile, he didn't usually wonder or worry whether people liked him or not, but he realised that the vulnerability of being injured was helped immeasurably by knowing that those around you had some sort of connection to you.

"Excuse me, Sir, are you Lieutenant Steve Stone?" A voice startled Steve and he looked up sharply, noticing as he did so the eight or ten other people in the room who had all looked up as well.

"Sloan, Lieutenant Sloan."

"Oh, sorry, they must have misheard you; you're here with Reagan Yeager?"

"Yes, how is she?" Steve was on his feet now, and he crossed the small room in two strides."

"She's going into recovery, it will be about an hour or two before you can see her, she still needs x-rays and tests, but Doctor Perry wanted to know whether there would be anyone staying with her." The nurse wasn't sure how much more to say and so she paused.

"Her husband is driving up from LA, but I'll stay, I'll stay until I know she won't be by herself … Nurse, if Doctor Perry doesn't want her to be alone, well, it's not good, is it?" Steve swallowed his fear, the job was dangerous, but they both knew that, right now though, the thought of his partner being so ill without Jesse near her was what frightened him the most.

"No, Sir, but I can't say anything more, not unless you're her next of kin."

"I'm her partner, her husband is my best friend, but no, I'm not her next of kin." Steve sat heavily into the, thankfully empty, chair nearest to him as the realisation that however close he and Rae were there was nothing he could do, other than just be there for her.

"Sir, as soon as she's settled into ICU I'll come and find you myself, but if her husband is here by then, well, you may not both be allowed in." The young nurse had watched the handsome man in front of her as he seemed to wilt. She was worried about him, but she had a feeling that any show of concern would only make matters worse.

"Thank you, I understand that, but thank you anyway. I'm going to go outside, just for a while, I have calls I need to make, but I'll come back here, ok?" Steve tried a smile, wasn't very successful and gave up.

"Yes, Sir, that's fine." The young woman smiled herself and left the room, and Steve, not really knowing what else to do, let his eyes follow her until she turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

ooo

Dominic sat on his bed and smiled. He couldn't believe his good fortune. The second interview he had attended had been for a holiday courier to travel across the country taking parties of middle-aged couples to the main tourist attractions of America. He wasn't a fool, and he knew that a job where there wouldn't be any beautiful blonde- haired women around would be a definite bonus for a while. And there were always women in every town and city in the world that would fall for his charms, would want a date with him, and he would have little trouble keeping himself amused in his off hours.

The first tour, which had been due to start with a young man called Justin working on it, began in two days time. Dominic had no idea what had happened to Justin, and he really didn't care, but the short notice which the man had given to the company had also given him his new job and so he silently thanked the now ex-employee of Aztec Tours and Excursions.

He wouldn't give up the apartment, each trip only lasted about a month, and then he would be back in LA. He would, however, pack up all the things in the other room, taking just a few items with him, and leave the rest neatly hidden away so that no one would know they were there. If he was given a rest period of a week or so then he could bring them back out to enjoy, otherwise he would just have to content himself with whatever he could carry on his person or find while he was working.

Matthew would deal with the janitor, Albert liked him, felt sorry for him, Dominic knew, and he would arrange for the rent money to be paid monthly just as it had always been. Pay on time, just the correct amount; don't draw attention to yourself in any way. For a moment Matthew came to the fore, and the fear and uncertainty rushed there with him, Dominic resolutely pushed him away, he couldn't allow himself to be deterred from his course of action. LA was a dangerous place, he had been here too long, and if Matt had his way they would stay, and if they stayed they would be caught.

For a moment Dominic paused and then he opened the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out a pile of pictures. The two cops who were in charge of his case stared up at him and he smiled. He wondered what they would make of the lull in victims, what they would do to find out why he had stopped killing. The man, the Lieutenant, he was a challenge, and Dominic loved a challenge. He had seen him give the news conference after they had found Mary Sue, seen the way that he had almost taunted him into coming out and owning up, well it hadn't worked then, and it wasn't going to work now. "I'll be your undoing, _Lieutenant,_ the failure that stays with you your whole life, because you will never catch me!" With a laugh Dominic put the picture down on the bed, the next one showed that woman better, English, pretty in a brown-haired sort of way, and definitely not as good as her publicity had tried to make everyone believe when she first arrived from London. He'd looked her up, there were pages of stuff on her, she obviously had trouble keeping herself out of the papers, and again he knew that her failure to catch him would be an annoyance to her, that she would think a little less of herself because of his continued freedom. "You don't stand a chance, no one does, they either die or fail, and I will make sure that you are no different."

Dominic dropped the pictures back into the drawer and then slammed it shut. He didn't need to worry about them any more, not for a while at least. But the others, he needed to say goodbye, to relish one more time his success, his power, and so, grabbing his jacket, Dominic set off on a trip that he knew would never make it onto the itinerary of an Aztec Tour or excursion.

ooo

"Steve?" The voice was soft, warm and very welcome and he looked up into the beautiful face of his anxious friend.

"Amanda, what are you doing here?"

"I brought Jesse; he wasn't in a fit state to drive all this way." She was even gladder now that she had been available to help him. The traffic had been heavy on all the roads, the radio finally telling them of a burst water main on the expressway, and of traffic being diverted to all other routes. "Do you know how she is?"

"No, they told me it would be about two hours before I could see her, that she would be in recovery, but nothing, not since then … where's Jesse?" Steve suddenly realised that his friend was conspicuous by his absence.

"He went to recovery, I think he was hoping that maybe they would let him in, as he's a doctor." Amanda sat down in the seat next to her old friend and took his hand into her own.

"They won't will they?" Steve looked startled.

"No, I shouldn't think so for a minute, but I couldn't stop him, and I didn't want to make a scene."

Steve could feel Amanda's fingers as they gently traced across the back of his hand, and he was glad that the occupants of the room had reduced to just himself and one other couple, because he didn't want her to stop, the touch was a reassuring presence in his strange world right now.

At just the right time to confirm what she was saying Jesse arrived in the doorway, he looked extremely worried, but also a little crestfallen, and both Steve and Amanda knew that he had been gently but firmly put off.

"Jess, Honey, come and sit down, there is nothing you can do until they come and get you." Amanda let go of Steve's hand and moved over to put her arm around her other friend. He seemed to sag against her and then let himself be led to an empty chair. As he did so a nurse appeared in the doorway and Amanda felt him tense up.

"Mr and Mrs Sorensen?" The two other occupants of the room nodded their heads and then rose from their seats. Steve watched them go and a heaviness enveloped him. They had talked together as the room had gradually emptied, and he had heard how they were waiting to find out whether their only daughter had survived open-heart surgery. She had been on the operating table when Steve had arrived, and he had been waiting over three hours himself now. The world seemed to hold its breath; Jesse was still leaning against Amanda, although he had relaxed a little, but Steve wanted to go out into the hallway, wanted to find out whether the couple, who had been so worried but had listened to him tell them about Rae, and had shared his wait with him, still had the chance to hope for a normal life for their child.

Just at that moment Mrs Sorensen came back to the doorway, Steve stood up but he didn't need to move, the joy emanating from the woman's eyes was enough, and he smiled at her and watched her leave, sitting back down as he did so, hoping that their day would end positively too.

ooo

Mallard and Fox was a well-known firm, apparently, although Cheryl had to admit not to her. They didn't actually advertise themselves as accountants to the stars, but there were photos of celebrities in the lobby and she had a feeling that they were all happy clients. The whole office gave a feel of light and airiness; probably partly due to the fact that all the walls were glass. There was a large sweeping staircase that started out in the reception area but arrived on the other side of the building on the second floor, although it looked more for decoration than use, especially as there was a bank of elevators just inside the main doors.

"Yes, Ma'am, can I help you?" The receptionist seemed impossibly young, and Cheryl smiled at her, wondering whether she seemed impossibly old.

"Detective Banks, LAPD, I'm here to see Mr. Mallard."

"Oh, yes." The young woman's expression became one of extreme sorrow, and Cheryl wondered for a moment whether she had been practicing it in the bathroom mirror. "If you would like to take the elevator to the third floor, I'll let his secretary know that you are on your way up."

"I'd also like to speak with Mr Fox's secretary."

"She's not in today; I can give you her home address though."

"Thank you, I'll collect it on my way out."

Cheryl moved across to the elevators, smiled at a young man of about thirty who held the doors for her and then leant against the back wall and waited for them to shut.

When they opened again the corridor was strangely enclosed. There were doorways all the way down either side of a straight hallway, and Cheryl guessed that the windows were hidden behind them. Most modern offices seemed to be open plan and the layout of this one momentarily caught her off balance.

"Detective Banks?" the voice was tightly controlled, obviously efficient and well groomed, and fitted the woman it came from exactly.

"Yes, Ma'am." She immediately handed over her ID, knowing that it would be closely scrutinised. Once the lady in front of her had checked the picture, and then looked at Cheryl and also read the information on the photo card she handed it back without a smile.

"If you would like to follow me, Mr. Mallard is waiting for you." There was no chance for Cheryl to reply as her escort turned on her heels and began to walk the length of the hallway.

Mr Mallard appeared to be a man with either a keen sense of humour or so devoid of one that he didn't see the joke. His room was furnished in dark green leather, and the pictures on the walls were all hunting scenes, usually with the victim a duck or ducks. He had various ordinary everyday items on his large desk turned into the extra ordinary because they were fashioned in a duck shape. The tray for his pencils was a duck, there was a stand, which held four pipes, that was a hunter holding up four dead ducks, and each one had a pipe slid down an indentation in its back. Each pencil had a duck eraser on the end of it, and the note pad by the phone was covered in ducks. Cheryl could see that the man even had the birds on his tie.

"Mr Mallard?"

"That's me, but call me Canny, everyone does."

"Excuse me? Canny?" Cheryl was once again a little wrong footed.

"Canny, canard, French for duck."

"Oh, I see, well, Mr. Mallard, I need to speak to you about the death of your partner, Mr. Fox." Cheryl wondered what the French for fox was, and whether she would have to fight her way through fur lined drawers when she searched his offices a little later in the day.

"Sad, very sad, we'd been together since college, y'know. I called him Renny, renard, French for fox. When we found out that we both wanted to be accountants, well with names like ours we just had to go into partnership together. I wanted to call us Canard and Renard, but Renny, he wouldn't have it … whatever will I do without him next door?" The man's eyes filled with tears and Cheryl felt for him. For all his verbosity and strange sense of humour he was still suffering, maybe even more because of it.

"I really am sorry for your loss, and I know that everything is still very fresh and raw, but I need to go through Mr. Fox's office, and I'll need a list of his clients, anyone who would consider him a threat or enemy. I have a search warrant."

Mr. Mallard waved her words away with his hand, he had pulled a large white handkerchief out of his pocket and he blew his nose loudly before speaking again. Cheryl absently noted a little duck shaped silhouette in one corner. "He wasn't the kind of man to have enemies; we're accountants for goodness sake, boring, steady, reliable types. I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say."

"Had he confided any worries to you lately? Financial, marital, anything that might have concerned him?" The autopsy report wasn't back yet, and it was still a possibility that the man had killed himself.

"No, nothing … he wasn't married, but I do his accounts, I know he was fine financially … no, you think? No, you're wrong."

Cheryl could see that Mr. Mallard was getting quite agitated and anxious and she knew that she would need to get as much information from him as possible. "Sir, if you could let me have the list of Mr. Fox's clients I will go and look in his office."

"Yes, of course, I'll … I'll get a key."

"There is no need for that, Sir, I have one already." The office had been sealed as soon as Mr. Fox's death had been reported and a patrol vehicle had arrived. As far as Cheryl knew no one had entered it since the victim had left the previous day. She stood up and made her way back out into the hallway. The next door along, one Cheryl had already passed once, had the name Marmaduke Fox on it. Carefully pulling on a pair of gloves Cheryl took the key from her pocket and unlocked the mahogany double doors.

ooo

The ICU was quiet and still and Jesse found himself lagging behind the nurse who had come to take him to his wife. She had explained to him, in layman's terms, what had happened to Rae, and the treatment she had received so far. He hadn't had the energy or inclination to let the woman know that he knew exactly what would have taken place, he just nodded in all the right spots and let most of the conversation float over him. Finally the words finished, and he followed the young woman as she took him to room 2937, where Doctor Perry would be waiting to speak with him.

"Mr. Yeager?"

"What? Oh, no, sorry, my name is Travis, Jesse Travis."

"Mr. Travis, I'm sorry, has the nurse explained a little of what has happened to your wife?"

Jesse nodded his head, he didn't want to listen, he wanted to take her up into his arms, take her, machines and all, back to Community General, where he felt safe, where Mark and Alex could save her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Jesse realised that the doctor was talking, and with a blush he made eye contact with him.

"I was saying that we are going to keep your wife on the ventilator until morning at the earliest, the trauma caused to the lung area is extensive, and although I have repaired it, I would rather that she was ventilated until she has been on the vacuum pump for at least twelve if not twenty-four hours."

"Did you get the bullet out?" Jesse knew that they probably had, but he didn't know what else to ask.

"Yes, we did, and it has gone to the police lab to be tested. Sir, your wife's partner saved her life, her condition was such that she would have succumbed to the shock and low blood pressure before the ambulance arrived, she should have died of her injuries."

"Oh." Jesse realised that he hadn't even spoken to Steve in the waiting room, had just held on to Amanda and ignored everything else that was going on around him. "I guess I'll thank him later."

Doctor Perry regarded him closely for a moment before continuing to talk. "The ventilator is over there, Detective Yeager has a mask because the oxygen is delivered better that way. The drain you can see in her side is where we are gradually re-expanding her lung. Has she had surgery on that side before? Emergency surgery?"

"Yes, yes she has." For a moment Jesse was back in the hospital room at Community General when Rae had been attacked and Eliana taken.

"She seems to be a lucky lady." Doctor Perry smiled.

"I guess that she is." This time Jesse smiled too, Rae was lucky, she had cheated death any number of times, and this time, thanks to Steve, she had done it again.

"Mr. Travis, I will leave you to sit with your wife for a while. The nurses will be checking on her periodically, if you have any questions, please ask them, and if they feel it necessary they will contact me."

"Thank you, I'll do that." Jesse sat in the chair next to the bed and watched as Rae's chest rose and fell, courtesy of the ventilator doing all the work for her. He could see the IV that was pumping in the nutrients and minerals she needed to keep her body functioning, as well as the antibiotics to hopefully keep any infection at bay. Her face was pale and expressionless underneath the mask and, as Jesse took her hand into his own, he tried, again, to convince himself that this wasn't his fault.

ooo

Cheryl heard a throat being cleared and looked up from the drawer she was checking in Mr. Fox's desk.

"Detective, I have Renny's client list."

"Oh, thank you, could you just leave it on the blotter?" She watched as Mr Mallard walked across the room, did as she asked and then returned the way he came. He seemed to be a little more in control of himself and Cheryl knew that his interview ought to be the next thing that she did.

There was an address book in the drawer and Cheryl picked it up and plonked it down on the desk, and the gust of air it produced sent the papers onto the floor. With a silent curse Cheryl crouched back down and began picking them up, but what she saw on the third sheet stopped her in her tracks.

The list of clients, in alphabetical order, had scattered, and so a page that Cheryl probably wouldn't have seen for about another half hour was now on the top, and the third and fourth names there were Josephine and Steven Sloan.


	42. Waiting in the Wings

**Chapter 42 Waiting in the Wings**

The monitors in the ICU suite beeped and shushed, and Jesse sat, his wife's hand resting in his own, and watched a storm whip at the trees just outside her window. The hospital was only one block away from the beach and, with little protection against the elements; the palm trees were bending in supplication to the wind and its power, even a majestic oak was being shaken by the weather. He had been in her room for two hours and in that time Jesse had seen the sky darken and the rain begin to fall, the change in the conditions keeping him from dwelling too long on what had happened to Rae, but he had a feeling that once night came he would have little to stop him from going over and over the conversations of the past few days and the disaster which had resulted from them.

Jesse knew that Rae wouldn't come round, however much he wanted her to, until the morning at least. Her injury was a painful one and the sedation would be kept high as she took her first steps towards recovery. Jesse also knew that the rehabilitation would begin quite quickly, something that Rae would find difficult. He hated to think of her being in pain, but he knew that for the next few weeks there would be no avoiding it.

"Jesse, can I come in?" Steve's voice broke into his thoughts and Jesse looked up from his vigil to smile at his best friend. He had wondered where Steve had been, but he hadn't wanted to leave his wife's room to find out. Amanda had gone on a hunt for him, and reported back that Steve had police business in the hospital and was dealing with that.

"Sure, I was hoping you would … I … Steve, you saved her life, thank you." Jesse let go of Rae's hand to take hold of his friend's instead.

"I did? Thank God for that, so she's gonna be ok?" The relief that Steve felt was almost overwhelming; he had wanted to come up, to check on her before, but Captain Newman had insisted that he find out the condition of Melina Edwards and send through a telephone report of what had happened. Once he had done that the Chief had called him and Steve spent twenty minutes sitting in the corner of the hospital lobby relating the entire episode again.

"There are still dangers, but yeah, I think she's gonna be fine."

"Well, you can thank Dad, I just knew it was serious, and the ambulance was going to be ten minutes. I … I didn't know if she would have that long, so I called him." Steve looked down, suddenly embarrassed by what he had done, even though he knew it had worked.

"What happened? I thought you were coming here for something to do with the Chief, how did it end up this way?" Jesse looked down at Rae, she hadn't felt that her job for the day was dangerous, had hardly really mentioned it at all and Jesse realised that they hadn't talked, about either of their jobs, not properly, for a long while.

"Yeah, we were, we interviewed Elizabeth Masters' son, about the death of his mother. It was an inconvenience in one way, having to come here, but he was the main suspect, although to be honest he wasn't really a suspect in the normal sense of the word, we just didn't have anyone else." Steve was quiet for a moment, Callum Edwards had been their only possibility, but he hadn't been glaringly obvious because first of all they hadn't known of his existence, and even when they had, the information they'd found on him hadn't led them to believe he was a serious contender for death row.

"And he shot Rae?" Jesse looked back down at his wife, the peaceful expression on her face belying the agony she had to have gone through.

"No, no, he didn't, we were right, he wasn't involved at all. But Rae thinks his wife killed Elizabeth and she tried to kill Rae as well, although I have no idea why."

"Being accused of murder might have had something to do with it!" Jesse looked into the eyes of his friend and saw only pain and confusion there.

"I don't know, we'd split up, I was with Mr. Edwards going through the paperwork which provided him with his alibi, Rae had taken his wife to make some coffee, she was a little volatile."

"A little?" Jesse was amazed and began to feel his anger rise, he knew that normally Rae would have been fine, she dealt with unpredictable situations on a daily basis, so did he, but now every fibre of his being was screaming out that they should have stayed together.

"I guess we should have stayed together, but there certainly didn't seem to be any danger, Mrs Edwards was just being kind of obnoxious is all. We separate all the time, work different parts of a case and then come back together, and this wasn't any different. Jesse, I'm sorry, something was off, not right, but I didn't feel that we were in any danger … no danger." Again Steve looked away, it was true, he evaluated all the situations he was in, and he had been glad that Rae had taken the initiative and removed Mrs Edwards before she shouted her mouth off too much but he had never imagined her to be at risk.

Jesse swallowed down his anger, now wasn't the time to vent it, and instead he carried on talking. "And Mrs Edwards, what happened to her?"

"I … I shot her. She's here, under guard, she's been charged for shooting Rae, once I know what evidence she found, I'll book her for Elizabeth Masters' murder too." Steve's couldn't keep the tiredness from his voice and Jesse looked at Steve realising, for the first time, that he was suffering too, he'd had to fire his gun in anger, which meant an enquiry, he had blood on his shirt and jeans, Rae's blood probably, and the anger he felt left him.

"Amanda will be going home soon, why don't you go with her?"

"Yeah, I probably will, you know that Jo has the girls don't you?" Steve saw the horror on his friend's face and knew before he spoke what he was going to say.

"I … I didn't even think, oh man." he couldn't continue, how could he have forgotten to make arrangements for his own children, and for a moment the realisation left him speechless.

"Jesse, you were under a lot of strain, and it's all taken care of."

"But … they're my kids, and … how could I do that?"

"Jesse, it's not a problem, and we should have told you earlier, they're safe and happy, that's all the matters in the end isn't it?"

Jesse nodded his head, he still felt awful about it, but there was nothing he could do to change what happened. "Well, if you're sure, there isn't anywhere I would rather they stay, and Eliana does adore her Unki Teve."

Steve smiled, he loved both little girls with all his heart, and he knew that the eldest Travis child was always pleased to see him. "Oh, I'm sure; in fact although she is real worried about Rae, I think that Jo was delighted to deal with it. She has Debbie staying with her, and they don't exactly get along like a house on fire."

"You know, I'd noticed that." The spark was back in Jesse's eyes for an instant, "In fact the only person who doesn't seem to notice is Debs, although that could be intentional."

"Why does everybody have a downer on this woman?" Steve shook his head, he was glad that Jesse's guilt seemed to have been assuaged, but still at a loss to understand why his normally friendly wife hated her sister-in-law. He always tried to be nice to her, but somehow, maybe because Jo didn't try, he felt he had to be even friendlier.

"Because she has a smart tongue. You think she's being nice, kind and helpful, but I have a feeling that nothing is done that isn't calculated … I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Jesse looked back at his wife; he didn't want to overstep the mark.

"Steve, Jesse, I have to get back home, do either of you need a ride?" Amanda's voice drifted in from the hallway and they both turned to her. "How is she now, Jess?" Amanda had sat with Jesse for a while, neither of them saying very much, but she had left him alone a few times so that he could talk to Rae without her overhearing, now though she needed to get back to her children.

"She's ok … or at least she will be, thanks to Steve. Rae always said they watched each others' backs." Jesse smiled at his friend, hoping that Steve realised just how he felt.

"She would have done it for me;" Steve tried to dismiss it, she had survived, that was all that mattered to him. "Amanda, if I drive you back, then Jesse will have his car." His voice was a little brusque; he wasn't comfortable with discussing these things, not even with Jesse and Amanda.

"Ok, thanks. Jesse, Honey, did you want to go stretch your legs, get some fresh air, maybe some coffee before we leave? That way Rae won't be alone." Amanda saw Jesse nod and then felt him kiss her cheek.

"Thanks, that would be great, I might pick up a magazine or two." He looked out of the window for a moment, and saw the trees still being buffeted about by the weather. "I think I'll get my fresh air inside not out! I'll be right back." Jesse went through the door, turning as he did so to see the two of them sit down next to the bed. Amanda took Rae's hand into hers so that she would know that someone was still there for her and he realised that, whatever his worries, he still had the best friends any man could wish for.

ooo

The journey back with Amanda had seemed to go very quickly. Although both of them were worried for their friend, the conversation had been about happier things, such as the wedding in three weeks time, and the birth of Steve and Jo's baby and Amanda had watched her normally stoic companion as he smiled for miles. Once he had dropped Amanda off at her house and spent five minutes catching up with Ron though, Steve found his thoughts travelling back to what had happened that day, and by the time he got to the station to change his blood-stained clothes, sign out and pick up the forms he needed to fill in, he was so wracked with guilt that he could hardly think straight.

He drove home to Beverly Hills without taking in any of the scenery around him, but his gaze lingered on the entranceway to Oak Place for a few seconds as he slowed down ready to turn into his own driveway.

The atmosphere as Steve unlocked his front door was apparent, and the look on his son's face as he came out to greet his dad only served to confirm it. "Hi, I hope you had a better day than Mom did, uh, apart from Rae that is." Daniel hastily finished his sentence realising how it had sounded.

"No, I didn't, what's wrong here?" Steve was aware that although it was only a little after seven o'clock the house was almost silent, the noise of two young children was absent. "Where are the girls?"

"In bed. Anneya is asleep, I just checked on her, Eliana is upset, but she got a good telling off from Mom and isn't saying a word. It's that witch, we never have trouble with them when she's not here."

"Daniel, not now, just drop it." Steve felt his temper rise again, but he didn't want to blame it on his son, none of the problems were his fault. "How was school?"

"Ok." Daniel looked away, he had tried to keep his behaviour in check, but somehow even though he had only been misbehaving for a while he was in the main line for blame when a culprit was needed.

"Just ok? That's not what I wanted to hear." Steve looked round, he had expected Jo to come and greet him by now, especially as he knew she would be worried about Rae. "Where's your mom?"

"Out in the yard somewhere. She went out there after she put the girls to sleep, that was about six-thirty."

"It's dark, why would she want to be out there in the dark? Is she ok?" Steve was instantly worried about his wife, his own problems fading slightly as he looked about him again, waiting for Daniel's reply.

"She just said she wanted to be alone, and she told Debbie, sorry, _Aunty Debbie_, that she didn't want any company." Daniel pulled a face as he spoke, but Steve could tell that he was concerned as well.

"I'll go find her and see you later, make sure that all your homework is done, and you can tell me what an ok day means in a while."

"Yes, Dad." Daniel knew there was no point in arguing, and apart from that he was just relieved that Steve was going to go see his mom, he had wanted to go, but hadn't known whether the no company rule included him or not. He let out a deep sigh, and suddenly felt his dad's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, look, once you've finished your work go check the TV guide, maybe there's a game on tonight we can watch, or play a little one on one, what do you think?"

"One on one sounds great, I can kick your butt." Daniel smiled, he really did have the best dad in the world, even with the problems he had, he still thought about him. "I love you, Dad."

Steve smiled, he didn't think he would ever get over the delight he felt at hearing his son say that to him. "I love you too, but no more ok days?"

"No, no more."

The silhouette of his wife was visible on the crest of a hill that led down to a small neat rose garden. Steve cleared his throat as he got a little closer so as not to frighten Jo, and her reaction was to turn and rush into his arms. "Hey, hey, shhh, it's ok." Steve didn't know what to say, or do, and so he just whispered nothing words and gently held her until she looked up into his eyes.

"Rae?" There was no doubting the meaning of just the one word, and Steve pulled her a little closer to him as he spoke.

"She's in the ICU, she was still unconscious when I left, and she'll be on a ventilator for a few days, but they think she'll make a full recovery." He felt her sag against him, and he kissed the top of her head, feeling her hair and moving a hand up to caress it.

"Oh, thank God, I have been standin' out here, prayin', not just for her, but for Jesse, an' for those little ones, they need their momma, Eliana especially needs her momma."

"Daniel said you sent her to bed, that you shouted at her." Steve was still amazed by what he had heard; he didn't think he had ever seen Jo shout at either child.

"I know, an' I know I shouldn't have, an' I'll apologise to her in the mornin'." Jo tried to move away but Steve needed to feel her next to him and so he held her fast.

"But why? What made you lose your temper with her?"

"She wouldn't eat her dinner, played with her food, she wanted her momma, an' in the end after _Debs _had mentioned three times how badly behaved she was I just lost it. I should have shouted at her, not that poor chil' but I didn't." This time Jo did pull away and began to walk back towards the house. "I will go an' kiss her goodnight again; maybe she will still be awake."

Steve fell in step beside her, "I'll go and get something to eat, and then … could we talk?"

"Sure, Darlin', I won't be long." She looked at him and saw, for the first time, the pain and worry in his eyes. "I can wait with you; I don't have to go to Eliana."

"No, you go; you'll rest easier if you know she's ok. I'll go say hi to Debs and tell her that we have a couple of things we need to do. I don't want her to feel that she isn't included in things."

"Works for me, but if you insist." Jo reached the French doors first, opened them and walked into the morning room. "She'll be in the livin' room, probably watchin' TV. Maybe you could persuade her to go home. She's hard work when we don't have worries of our own." They went their separate ways then, Steve to find his sister-in-law, and Jo to make her peace with her goddaughter.

ooo

The silence all around him made the machines sound so much louder, seem far more insistent than they normally did when he was the doctor in charge. Rae lay, silent and totally still, her chest only rising and falling because of the same machines which were filling the room with their sounds.

Jesse's mind went back over everything that had happened, how he and Rae had talked, how he had finally unburdened himself to a point where he no longer felt the need to carry around the weight of guilt and fear that he couldn't remember being free of.

He thought about Don Werner, the damage that man had caused would probably haunt him in one way or another for a long time, but he knew now that it wouldn't rule his life because he wouldn't let it.

The doctor had called Rae lucky, and he knew that she had been, but so had he. Not just now, but over and over again in his life. He'd had an unhappy childhood, but he'd survived it, and he knew that it had made him the man he was, or usually was. He'd worked hard in school, enjoyed college, and medical school had been a dream come true.

Jesse remembered with a smile the day he arrived at Community General, the atmosphere had been wonderful, and Mark, Amanda and Steve had become part of his life. That time had been good; he'd had friends who wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with them, and he'd found contentment too. He wasn't sure that any of that counted as luck, but if it did then he knew that he'd made most of it himself, and then he'd met Rae. Life had been a little hectic ever since, but most of the time he'd enjoyed it. Twice he'd left her, and both times it had been wrong, the first time was the biggest mistake he'd made in his life, and the second, well, he'd been ill, he knew that, but even so he wished he'd never gone.

He looked at the readings on his wife's machines, they were showing what he would expect them to, and he guessed that he could relax a little, think about other things, but his mind kept going over and over the last few days, or hours. He thought about Steve, the relief on his face when he knew that his actions had saved his partner's life and the guilt that Jesse knew he felt because he'd let her be injured in the first place. Jesse had felt angry that Rae had been left with the woman who had shot her, but now, in the quiet stillness of her room, Jesse knew that it was the way things were done, if it wasn't then they wouldn't get as much accomplished as they did. He also knew that Rae wouldn't blame anyone for what had happened; she wasn't that type of person. The door opened at that moment and the doctor came in, Jesse stood up, he knew that it was time for Rae to be checked over and moving out of the way he watched someone else do what he desperately wanted to be able to do himself.

ooo

The sandwich that he'd made sat, uneaten, on the table, the mug of coffee had cooled enough to drink, but that too was untouched. Debbie, deeply engrossed in a melodrama about the Civil War had hardly turned her head to say hello, and he had retreated almost immediately.

The sound of Jo coming back down the stairs roused him from his pondering, and he tried to put a smile on his face as she came into the morning room. He knew that he had failed as he saw the worry flit across her beautiful features before she came and sat next to him.

"Honey, what is worryin' you? You said that Rae was ok, poorly, but going to be fine. I spoke to your daddy a little earlier, from what he told me you saved her life. So it can't be that which is makin' you fret so."

"I let her go; if it hadn't been for me she wouldn't have been shot. I knew something was wrong, it didn't smell quite right, and still I let her go off alone." Steve had sat at the very end of the sofa, but now he tried to move away from his wife even more.

"How do you mean you let her go? I thought she was shot at the house, did she leave?" The gap between them on the seat seemed to Jo to be like a chasm. Usually, when Steve was having problems with his emotions he wanted to be with her, to hold her, but now it was as if her nearness added to his troubles.

"She was. Jo, this case has been a minefield since the start. How we have ever gotten this far without it reaching the papers I will never know, but we have. You know the Chief is involved, but he is far more mixed up in it than anyone other than Rae or I know. I haven't even told Dad, and I know Rae hasn't told Jesse."

"But she's a good cop; if there was any danger she wouldn't have gone off with this woman, whoever she was, so she must have been happy to do what she did. She can leap in sometimes, but she isn't a fool. Did she have a record, or was she a suspect?"

"No, but."

"No buts at all. You can't watch each other every minute you are workin'. She wouldn't expect or want it an' neither would you."

"But I let her go, I ignored my instincts, and she almost died. I shouldn't have had to save her because she shouldn't have been hurt in the first place." His voice broke on the last words and Steve suddenly needed his wife, he pulled her to him and held her tight, never wanting to let go.

Jo let him hold her; she was glad of the contact, but worried too. She had been a cop herself long enough to know that instinct was sometimes the only thing which kept you alive. The fact that Steve had ignored that was going to be something that only he could deal with, but still she had to say something. "Honey, Rae is a good cop, she has instincts, too. You can't blame yourself for all of this, she certainly won't an' I think you know that." She stopped talking, knowing that nothing she said could really help, and so she silently let him hold her as he tried to come to terms with what he had done.

ooo

The night had been spent together, both downstairs, and then when Jo and Steve went to bed. She couldn't break through and make him believe that it wasn't his fault; because she knew that if she was in his position she would believe it was hers. Debbie hadn't helped the situation when she stated that it was no job for a woman anyway, and that Rae's place was with her family. For the first time Jo had seen her husband look at Debs in a slightly different light, but she hadn't had the heart to press him about it.

As the sun came in through their bedroom window Jo watched as Steve stirred slightly and moved a little closer to her. Even in his sleep he had needed her near him, and had been restless if she had strayed from his side. For a few moments his face was relaxed and at peace, but she knew the exact moment that he remembered what had happened, the exact moment when he realised again how he had let his partner down.

"I … I have to phone, Jo, I'm sorry." He apologised immediately, knowing that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until he had contacted the hospital.

"Honey, have your shower, get dressed, we haven't heard anythin' durin' the night, if there was somethin' to report you know Jesse would have been straight on. I'll go make you a coffee; you can call while you are drinkin' it." Jo sat a look of determination on her face, which, she hoped, masked the heartbreak she was feeling.

"You're right, but I need to know. I'll get dressed first though." It was a compromise, he wanted to ring right away, but he was letting his emotions get the better of him, which wasn't a good idea, and he knew that he looked flustered as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Steve, Baby, listen to me. You have to do whatever is right for you, I'm guessin' you will be going back up to interview the woman who shot Rae, you can go see her while you're there, but you have to stop blamin' yourself, it isn't gonna do you or anyone else any good."

"Oh, ok, fine, I'll just stop then. There, I feel so much better!" Steve kicked the covers off the bed and stalked towards the shower room leaving Jo to watch him go, knowing that his temper would probably get the better of him more often than not until he could find out what it was that caused Rae to get shot in the first place.

ooo

The piece of paper sat on her desk and mocked her. Cheryl had covered it up with a telephone directory, then the LA Times, she had even put it in the middle drawer of her desk, but each time she had retrieved it from its hiding place and returned it to the middle of the table.

She had known that Mallard and Fox were high class accountants, that the clientele they serviced probably had more money than they knew what to do with, and she had known that Josephine Sloan came into that category too. The fact that the two things might be linked though hadn't occurred to her, but now, with the names staring up at her she knew that she had no choice but to question her ex-partner and his wife about the murder of a man she was already beginning to realise didn't have as many scruples as his friend and partner Mr. Mallard.

Marmaduke Fox had provided her with the possibility of an extended visit into a world that she had very little understanding of. Cheryl earnt the maximum amount for a detective of her experience and seniority, she had an accountant, most people did, but she had a feeling that her salary probably wouldn't have paid Mr. Fox's fees, let alone been deemed worth working on.

A couple of the other names on the list had been known to Cheryl, shady sprang to mind, and she had planned to interview them first, but she didn't want to be accused of favouritism, of ignoring the cop in favour of the villain, and so on her way to Bel Air to interview a octogenarian called Billy Maiden, Cheryl was going to drop in, unannounced, on Jo Sloan.

Grabbing her jacket of the back of her chair she straightened up, picked up her empty cup and, looking at the disgusting stain inside it, consigned it to the waste basket. She had a huge supply of mugs at home; she would just replace it with one from there. As Cheryl went out onto the hallway next to the squad room she watched Steve climbing the stairs towards her. He looked terrible, haggard; he seemed to have aged overnight. Not knowing what else to do she reached out and touched his arm as he passed her.

"Hey, Steve, what's up?" There was compassion in her voice, and she knew that her partner recognised it, but she saw the shutters go up, and also knew that she wouldn't get an honest answer from him.

"Nothing, didn't sleep well, nothing else." Steve found that he couldn't look her in the eye, Cheryl knew him too well, would realise that he was lying, and he had no intention of explaining, not to her, nor anyone else.

"Well, maybe a peaceful day would be a good thing. Think we'll get one?" Cheryl watched for a response, but there was none, and so she carried on talking. "How's Rae?"

"I called Jesse this morning, she had a quiet night, but she's still on the ventilator, sedated, so I guess she had no choice in the matter." His tone was abrupt, and Cheryl, realising that she should back off just nodded her head.

"And Jo?"

"Good, she has a pre-natal this afternoon, I think she's gonna make it last as long as possible, Debbie is staying."

"Ohhh that must be fun. I have to run, I'll see you later." Cheryl shook her head, she sympathised with Jo. Debbie Gardiner, that was the woman's name, she was a gold digger, charming, smooth, but a gold digger all the same. She watched Steve go on into the squad room and then she carried on down the stairs and out into the sunshine.

ooo

The doorbell rang and Debbie looked pointedly down at her magazine. "Guess I'll go get that then." Jo knew that she didn't want her sister-in-law answering her door anyway, but it was the manner in which she refused that made her blood boil.

The shape that Jo could see through the glass was recognisable and she smiled as she opened the door. "Well, hi, Cheryl, I'm sorry but you've missed Steve, he's already gone to work."

"Actually it was you I needed to speak with. Jo, this is official."

"Oh." Jo didn't know what else to say and so she indicated with her hand that Cheryl should come into the house. "We can go talk in the library."

"Ok, just lead the way." Cheryl felt uncomfortable, she didn't like interviewing friends and colleagues, and it didn't happen very often. She wondered whether she should have waited for Steve, but the fact that she had found that Jo was listed separately as well as with her husband meant that she would have had to interview them one at a time anyway.

"It's a little chilly in here; we don't use this very much." Jo opened the doors onto the beautiful mahogany lined room and smiled. "But I love it; it's sort of trapped in time somehow."

"It is lovely, did you choose the décor?" Cheryl looked around appreciatively. She had been to Steve's home before, but hadn't been into this room. It showed, far more than the parts she had seen, just how lavish the house was.

"No, my grandmamma still watches me when I re-decorate! All I've added in here is the rug." Jo looked down at the floor and saw Cheryl do the same. The Indian carpet which covered the middle of the floor was highly decorated and of a very good quality. It had been shipped to the house as a present for her grandmother, but Jo had chosen it because she liked it and so it had been laid, even though the old lady had never seen it. She had died before it had even been purchased.

Cheryl stood, a little ill at ease now, waiting for Jo to sit in one of the gold brocade chairs. After about thirty seconds, which seemed far longer, she suddenly realised what she was supposed to do.

"I'm sorry, please sit down, would you like a drink? Coffee, tea, soda?" Jo was embarrassed; she was also worried, and had no idea why Cheryl would want to talk with her.

"No, no, I'm fine, thanks. I just need to ask you a few questions about a man named Marmaduke Fox."

Jo looked a little confused but then she smiled. "Renny, he's my accountant. I have to admit I don't have a lot to do with him. He's been doing my accounts for quite a long time. I don't like him very much, but I sort of inherited him, or I guess he inherited me."

"Excuse me?" Cheryl wasn't sure how you inherited or were inherited by an accountant.

"My accountant was a man named Reginald Rowntree. He was quite old, a nice man, smelt of peppermint. When he died Mallard an' Fox bought his business. I think it was worth a lot of money, or the client list was, an' his family sold it. I got a letter askin' if I wanted my business to be conducted by the new company, an' to be honest I just agreed. Well, not without a little checkin', I searched through the financial magazines, asked around some, checked the Internet, I couldn't find anythin' to warn me away from them an' so I agreed."

"And what did you think of them?"

"They tried to get me involved with 'their little family' as they called it. Canny invited me to Christmas parties, summer picnics, but in the end even he realised that they were there to count my money, pay my taxes, an' leave me alone, an' that's what they have done ever since."

"So you never see them, speak to them, correspond with them?"

"Of course I do. There is always somethin' to do with money that needs sortin' out. I signed a few things over to some friends recently; I had my lawyer send the papers through on those."

"But **_you didn't_**, you didn't call or visit or write yourself about any of it?" Cheryl kept pushing. She had checked Jo's file in Marmaduke Fox's office, and mail had been going backwards and forwards regularly, at least three or four letters and records of calls a week.

"No, Gilbert deals with all of that. If I need anythin' doin' I just get in touch with him an' he takes care of it. Cheryl, why are you askin' me all this?" Jo had her hands in her lap and suddenly she realised that she was wringing them together.

"And Steve, does he use Mallard and Fox as well?" Cheryl had no intention of enlightening her, not yet at least.

"For joint business, yes he does. But he had his own accountant before we married, as far as I know he still uses him for Bob's an' personal stuff. Cheryl, am I in trouble?"

"Jo, Marmaduke Fox was murdered on Friday. You and Steve were on his client list. I am interviewing everyone who was."

"My, God. I didn't know, no one called; I didn't see it in the paper. How, who, I mean … does Steve know?" She didn't know what to say. "You don't think I … Cheryl."

"Jo, I don't know if Steve knows, it was kept out of the papers, and no, unless you have secrets that you need to tell me about, I don't think you killed him."

"Well, like I said, I haven't spoken to him in ages, I sent him a Christmas card last year, I would have sent him one this year. Do you converse regularly with your accountant?"

"No, not if I can avoid it." Cheryl smiled, there had to be a good reason for the letters and phone calls, she would check elsewhere before asking Jo about them. "Jo, thank you. I'm obliged to you for the information. If I need anything else, I'll either call or come round again." She stood up and watched as Jo did the same, and then the two of them walked out into the hallway together, Cheryl enquiring about her pregnancy as they neared the front door.

Debbie moved out of the shadows a satisfied smile on her face. Nothing had happened, no irregularities had been found, not yet, but they would be, and when they were, well she would be waiting, waiting and watching to see her fall, and take her bastard chil' and pathetic husband with her.


	43. Friends and Relations

**Chapter 43 Friends and Relations**

"Steve, Honey, I'm just goin' round to Oak Place to help Jesse get the girls ready." Jo's voice was light and happy, and Steve, who was working out in his gym, stopped checked his watch, put a towel round his neck and went out into the hallway.

"Oh, ok. We have two hours before we need to leave, I'll go start suggesting that Daniel heads for the shower in a minute. Say hi to Rae for me." Steve dabbed his face with the towel, and then placed it back over his bare shoulders. His partner had been home for three days and he knew that she was still finding things very tough, but he was too, he needed to go and see her privately, but so far hadn't plucked up the courage to do so. Maybe at the wedding, when everyone was relaxed and happy, he could speak with her and arrange to spend some time with her.

"I will, I know she wants to get the bridesmaid dresses an' all on them herself, an' go to Amanda's, but Eliana an' Anneya aren't known for stayin' still too long, an' she is still feelin' awful. I haven't said anythin' but I'm just hopin' she makes it there herself." Jo had been with her friend almost continuously since she had come home from the hospital, watching over her like a mother hen, making sure that she didn't do anything that would cause her any more pain than she was already in, but also insisting that she follow the exercise regime that Alex had put in place for her. Jo had tried to get Steve to speak with Rae, but hadn't succeeded so far. Rae hadn't mentioned the fact that Steve hadn't spoken to her about the shooting, but she was still so far from being well that Jo wasn't concerned about that.

"Don't I get a kiss before you go?" Steve moved closer but Jo stepped back.

"Darlin' you are as sexy as they come lookin' like that, in just boxers an' a blush, but you've been in that gym for almost two hours, I'll wait until you've showered!" Jo blew him a kiss instead and then, laughing at the look of mock horror on her husband's face, walked out of the front door and began the short journey to Jesse and Rae's house.

Rae had stayed in the hospital for eighteen days in the end, although the final six of them had been at Community General after Jesse and Alex had arranged for her to be transferred there. She had picked up a lung infection and was still feeling weak, tearful and very tired even though she was home.

The run up to Amanda's wedding had passed Rae completely by, the bachelorette party happening, as Jo's had done, while she was in the hospital. Although this time it hadn't been Eliana who had needed the care. Once again everyone had rallied around to help look after the two children, and Jo had been planning a Christmas party at her friend's request so that Rae and Jesse could thank all their friends.

The sound of a child crying reached Jo's ears as she got closer to the front door of Oak Place, and she hoped that it wasn't caused by anything serious. She rang the bell and then waited. Rae and Jesse had taken on a housekeeper, much to Jo's delight and Rae's disgust. It wasn't that Rae disliked the young woman they had hired, she didn't, it was just that she hadn't wanted to have any help, on principal, Jo thought.

"Hi, Vicki, how's it goin'?"

"Fine, Mrs Sloan, although I think that Anneya is just about ready for a nap." The young woman smiled and moved out of the way so that Jo could enter and then closed the door behind her.

Vicki was, Jo knew, twenty-seven years old. She was a naturally sunny and friendly person and came highly recommended. She was also, much to Eliana's delight, Miss Amy's sister. Jesse had mentioned that he was looking for a housekeeper when he picked Eliana up from school one lunchtime and Miss Amy had said her sister had just lost her job at a special school in the area. When Jesse found out that she used to work with deaf children he had almost begged Eliana's teacher to introduce them, and a week later Vicki had begun working for the Travis household.

"Hi, Jo, Rae's in the breakfast room, I'm just about to take little Miss Cheerful here up for a sleep. Thank you, Vicki. Eliana, of course, is with her mom." Jesse still wasn't used to having someone answer the door, take phone messages and do all the washing, cleaning and general chores, but he had an idea that it wouldn't take him long.

"Hey, Sweetie, you sleep peacefully now, ok?" Jo was standing so that Anneya could see her, and she spoke just as she would to Eliana even though she knew that the little girl would have no idea what she was actually saying. Already Anneya looked at people's lips and their hands, and Jo had watched Vicki sign things to her and been amazed to see that she was getting a response. Jo carefully kissed the child on the cheek and then, as Jesse began to climb the stairs, she went towards the sunny room which was her friend's favourite.

Eliana seemed to have suffered the most of anyone apart from Rae this time. She had become almost inseparable from her mom, not wanting to let her out of her sight for even the shortest time. Jesse had taken her to visit Rae in the hospital but the little girl had become so distressed when it was time to leave that it had only happened once. She still used her toys, drew her pictures and watched TV, but Rae had to be within touching distance at all times. Even Miss Amy had been relegated to a nobody, Eliana crying and not wanting to go to school for the first time since she started there. In the end Eliana had stayed home the day that Rae was discharged with Steve and Jesse taking her in the following morning, and coming home beaming with pride at what Miss Amy had said.

Rae and Jo had been in the breakfast room when their husbands' had returned from dropping the girls off to Sally and Miss Amy. They could both tell immediately that they had something to relate and had sat, smiling and waiting for the story to start.

_"Does your daughter ever stop talking?" Steve had begun the conversation and Rae had just shaken her head._

_"No, I don't think so, not when she has an audience, why?" Rae hadn't been home twenty-four hours yet, and she looked pale and fragile._

_"Because she chattered all the way to school, explained how to press the bell, again! And then talked non-stop until she got into the classroom." Jesse had shaken his head and Jo had laughed. _

_"I got it in reverse the other day when I picked her up, an' I was told all about the bell, for when I took her back the followin' mornin'. An', Rae, she uses good words, too, it's not like havin' a conversation with a three year old._

_Before Rae could answer her friend Jesse jumped in. "That's just what Miss Amy said. They don't teach, not properly, like in school, but she said that her vocabulary and her diction are good, above average for her age."_

_"Really? That's nice." Rae had been lying on the sofa, the journey home the previous day had worn her out, and the trip from the second floor to the breakfast room after a night's sleep seemed to have used up all her reserves of energy._

_"But you didn't tell her your response." Steve was smiling, and Jo had known it was because they were together, the four friends, it was like it should be, well almost, when Rae was better then it would be almost perfect._

_"Which was? Darlin', you can't just say that an' then not follow it through."_

_"I said that I put that down to her mother," Jesse said. "Rae's British and, well, she just seems to use a lot of words that we Americans usually don't, or something like that, I refuse to be misquoted!"_

_Steve had grinned then and unable to resist teasing shot back with, "Or it could be her father's influence. He just uses a lot of words...all the time."_

Jo enjoyed the memory a moment more before going into the breakfast room. Eliana sat by her mother playing with a doll with wild hair and Rae was lying on the sofa, her feet tucked underneath a throw that reached up to her knees. Jo could tell that she was still suffering physically as well as mentally. "Hi, Sweetie, I love your dolly, Rae, Honey, how are you today?" Eliana smiled at her aunty and moved a little closer to her mom.

"Me? Oh, I'm fine, how about you?" The tone of Rae's voice, although faint, belied what she said, and Jo sat down next to her friend.

"I see, so you are just _fine_ about every little thin', then?"

Rae turned her head towards the sofa back, her words becoming muffled as she did so. "No, but I should be, I'm trying real hard not to feel sorry for myself, but today, today I'm failing miserably."

"Why, why today? It's gonna be great, Amanda an' Ron are finally gettin' married, the sun is shinin' an' your little girls are gonna be the sweetest bridesmaids anyone ever saw." Again Jo looked at her goddaughter, and this time she blew the child a kiss.

"And it should be me getting them ready … rushing around after them at the church … enjoying their every moment with them … but I can't even go upstairs to help without running out of air and … having to sit down and try and take in deep breaths."

"Ok, I'll give you that, it is a special day an' I know you want to be as involved as you can be, but feelin' sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere. You are gonna have to sit back, let everyone else fuss over your girls an' just bask in their glory as a proud mom."

"In other words, get over it and get on with the day?" Rae smiled, "I know I should, and I probably will when we get there." She paused, consciously taking a necessary but painful breath, "I don't like feeling this way, somehow, because it's affected my breathing, it's worse than anything that has happened before, and … I have to use the chair, I hate having to use a wheelchair."

Jo thought for a moment, she had seen Rae struggle for air, not because her lungs were irreversibly damaged but because they were still mending and it hurt to move as well as breathe. She had also seen the panic in her friend's eyes over the last three days, as she had to fight to keep control of herself. As she looked into Rae's sad face now she saw tiredness, and a melancholy which, she had a feeling, wouldn't just disappear unless there were things to look forward to which Rae could join in with. An idea began to form in Jo's mind and she began to speak. "Why don't you an' Jesse take the girls away after New Year? I know we have your party comin' up, but once that has happened, an' Santa has been, why don't you go on vacation, just the four of you? You have Vicki now to take care of the house, an' Steve an' I are just down the road. You don't have to go very far, just a little way up the coast." Jo could see that the idea appealed to her friend and she smiled.

"Mommy says Santa come to my house. I haf to be good girl an' I get pwesents, an' Neya too."

"Y'know, I'm hopin' he'll come to my house as well. If I'm a good girl." Jo held her hands out and Eliana finally came for a hug.

Rae had been thinking, but now she spoke about Jo's idea. "That would be fun. Just the four of us, like you said, and I'm off work for at least another six weeks."

"Good, that's settled then. Now, what are you wearin' to this here shindig?" Jo stood up, putting Eliana onto the floor as she did so and then watched the little girl clamber back up next to her mommy. Jo was still in her jeans and a white t-shirt, but she had a yellow dress with a little jacket hanging on the door of one of her closets just waiting for her to slip into when she returned home. She was almost four months pregnant now, and had the wonderful healthy bloom of someone who had entered the middle trimester with no problems or worries. She was seeing either Mark or Jesse every two weeks, and they were keeping a close eye on her blood pressure, but so far everything was going according to plan.

"I have a creamy coffee coloured trouser suit upstairs that I don't think any of you have seen before. I bought it when I had a spare afternoon a while ago; it's a lovely suit, but not precinct wear!" Rae paused again, speaking and breathing hurt, she needed to concentrate on both of them separately. "I can't wear a skirt, not in that chair."

"You wouldn't wear a skirt anyway." Jo smiled as Rae did the same. "Well, if you want me to help you I will, do you want to have a nap for a while, an' I will see to Eliana? Give her a bath, do a little pamperin' an' preenin' with her, an' then braid her hair before we go?" Amanda had asked that Eliana and Anneya have their hair plaited around their heads with flowers interwoven into it afterwards. First of all a hairdresser was going to come and do it for Rae, but Jo had been sure that with a little practice she could do it herself and, after a few false starts she was now totally in control.

Rae had watched Eliana prancing up and down the hallway just after she had returned home from the hospital looking at herself in the mirror to see her hair, plus every piece of clear glass she could find for the rest of the day. She had loved the feeling of her Aunty Jo playing the brush and the comb through her curls, and Rae knew that she would be doing the same things herself before too long.

Anneya's hair was different to Eliana's, so fine and flyaway that, in the end, they had given up trying to braid it and she was having it curled into little ringlets, with a headband covered in flowers worn in it. The ringlets would probably only last five minutes, but she too liked the attention, and sat, her eyes firmly on the looking glass, as Jo brushed and curled her hair for her.

"I am going to stay here; I don't want to go upstairs." Rae's voice took on an almost unpleasantly spoilt tone.

"Oh, no you don't! I know that Alex has told you that you need to rest every day, but that if you want to sleep you have to climb the stairs first. Honey, I also know it hurts to breathe deeply but you have to otherwise you won't get better. Eliana an' I will walk up with you, an' besides, if you do this now, you won't have to wear yourself out before your shower."

"I hate it when you're so sensible. Can't you be silly and frivolous … and let me sleep downstairs?"

"Nope, now are you going, or do I have to chase you?" Jo smiled and took Eliana's hand into her own. The little girl stood quietly, she seemed almost shy at the moment, but then she'd had a difficult month or so herself and even three year olds worried about the things going on around them.

"With you in your condition and me in mine it would be a pretty slow chase!" Rae got to her feet and began to walk towards the stairs, almost immediately she was short of breath and once again she felt her feelings of anger and vulnerability rise, battling with the panic to take control of her.

"Careful, I'll give you a head start, you have nothin' to prove to me, or to anyone else, an' I have all day, well, until we have to leave anyway."

"Just because … you don't want me … to win." Rae smiled; she stood still for a moment before she carried on towards the stairs, and the feeling of her friend's free hand as she placed it under her elbow was both welcomed and reassuring.

ooo

Jesse sat on the bed in his room and ran his hand over his eyes. Anneya had dropped off to sleep almost the instant her head hit the mattress and even though she would only get about an hour's rest it would be enough for her to enjoy her afternoon. At least he hoped it would.

The temper tantrums had begun just after Rae had been injured, it was almost as if it had taken her that long to realise that she no longer heard what was going on, her mommy wasn't where she should be and suddenly all hell broke loose. The first indication that things had changed for the worse had been the day that Jesse had come home from Santa Barbara, desperate to see his children even though Rae was still seriously ill, and he had also picked up some things to take back that Rae would need.

_Anneya had been sitting on the mat in the morning room of Jo and Steve's house, a small jigsaw, two books and a drink of milk in front of her. She had quietly and thoughtfully collected all her things up, and was sitting, enjoying the anticipation of playing with them. Jesse had been almost lost in her expression, for the first time since she had been so ill his little girl looked at peace. The puzzled expression was missing, she was happy just being where she was, doing what she was doing._

_Eliana had been sitting with Jesse on his lap but now she got down and sat next to her sister, reaching over as she did so to take one of the books. That was when the quietness exploded. Anneya screamed, grabbed the book back and pushed Eliana hard, the elder girl falling backwards and striking her head against the carpeted floor. Both children were then screaming and crying, although Anneya had been collecting up her possessions as well and leaving no one in any doubt as to how she felt about them, and for a moment Jesse, Steve and Jo, who had been with him had been too stunned to do anything._

If Jesse was honest Anneya wasn't the only one who'd had a temper tantrum that day. He had been sitting with his wife for almost four days, she was still on the ventilator because of the infection she had picked up, and when he had seen Steve, before going to spend time with his daughters, his feelings of frustration, anger and helplessness finally boiled over and he'd lashed out at the only friend he knew he could yell at and still keep.

_"Hey, Jess, I've got a couple of cards from the station for you to take back with you." Jesse guessed that Steve had seen his car on the driveway of Oak Place and finished his afternoon jog by running into the front yard of the house and knocking on the door._

_"Oh, thanks, I'll pick them up when I'm done here. I'll be round to see the girls." He had turned away, his feelings suddenly escalating, not wanting to say anything more, knowing that if he did then his anger, which he thought he had dealt with, would escape, and he didn't know if he would be able to restrain himself._

_"Want me to wait? We can go round together?"_

_"No, not really." He'd closed his eyes, that hadn't been the best thing to have said, and as Jesse knew he would, Steve sounded concerned as he answered._

_"Jesse, what's the matter?"_

_"What's the matter? How can you ask me that?"_

_"Um, because I don't know. Why you don't want me to stay?" _

_"Steve, I'll see you at your place, ok? I'm busy, I'm tired and I just want to get back to Santa Barbara."_

"You're going back tonight?" Steve had sounded amazed; Jesse realised that his friend had thought that he would at least spend the night with his children.

_"Yes, I'm going back tonight, my wife is seriously injured, in case you'd forgotten!"_

_"No, Jess, I hadn't forgotten, but I think maybe you're right, I'll see you later." Steve had moved away as he had spoken, and Jesse, his temper still on a full boil, had yelled at him._

_"Gonna leave me too, huh? Why am I not surprised?" _

_"What?" Steve's voice was full of the amazement he felt and, as Jesse had watched his friend turn back to him, he hadn't been able to stop himself from continuing._

_"You left Rae, let her go off on her own, and now she's lying in a strange hospital, in the ICU, still seriously ill, because **you** didn't see any danger."_

_The effect had been instantaneous; Steve had backed away, from both his words and the venom they had contained. "Jesse, I … I'm sorry."_

_"Yeah, right, sorry doesn't help though, does it? It doesn't save Rae from the agony she is gonna have to go through before she's better again. You have a partner for a reason, so that you can work together, together!"_

_Steve had repeated himself "I'm sorry, I'll see you later, Jess, I have to go." And then he had left, and Jesse, too angry to stop him, had watched without any remorse as his best friend almost staggered from his house under the weight of the accusations he had made._

Jesse shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the memories once and for all. They had haunted him ever since but he hadn't mentioned it to Steve again, and he knew that Rae hadn't spoken to her partner about it either. Pushing the thoughts away from him Jesse found his mind travelling over the time Rae had spent in the hospital, he had thought he would be able to forget about that too, once she got home, but somehow, now that he was no longer living it, the nightmare was even stronger.

_The ICU had been quiet, the clock on the wall showing a little after two in the morning of the fifth day since Rae had been injured. He had arrived back from Beverly Hills an hour before, and had been sitting quietly ever since. He had tried to shift the memory of the look on Steve's face as he sat next to Jo watching him play with his children, but he couldn't, even the fact that Doctor Perry had left a note saying that her sedation level had been reduced to gradually bring her round, and if that was successful he would consider beginning the process to wean Rae off the ventilator, hadn't lifted his spirits._

_He looked at her face, and was amazed to see that she was lying there staring at him, not moving, just looking. "Rae, oh, Baby, oh, God." He hadn't known what else to say, and had fumbled around looking for the buzzer to call the nurse, then he had taken her hand into his and held it tightly until she had pulled it away. "Rae?"_

_Her senses dulled by the anaesthesia, she had tried to talk and he saw her struggle to understand why no sound came out._

_"Honey, you're on a ventilator, shhh, it's ok." The panic had filled her eyes and she had tried to move her hands towards the tube that had replaced the mask after two days. "No, I know you don't like it, but you need it, please, promise me you won't struggle against it."_

_She had blinked slowly, and the movement had dislodged a tear, which slid down her cheek. The nurse came in at that moment and he quickly told her that Rae was awake, that he had missed seeing her come around, and Doctor Perry should be told. Unfortunately he'd been off duty, and a young doctor who Jesse had seen working the previous two evenings arrived around fifteen minutes after the nurse departed._

_Once all the set tests had been carried out and notes entered on her chart the doctor had left and Jesse and Rae had been alone again. Rae had drifted off to sleep before the doctor, whose name Jesse had noticed was Doctor Heraldez, had arrived, but had been woken as he had worked on her. The fear in her eyes as she had felt his hand pick up hers to manually take her pulse, without a word of introduction or explanation, had almost broken his heart, and the urge to take over and treat her himself had been even stronger when Doctor Heraldez had disconnected the machine so that he could suction out the secretions in her mouth. Rae had gagged and he'd had to hold her hands down so that she didn't panic and move while she was being treated. The tears had fallen silently, as Rae tried to relax, but she couldn't breathe unaided and had found it impossible. Once he had finished, and Rae was back on the machine, Doctor Heraldez had suggested using paralysing drugs if her panic continued. This had caused Rae to stiffen under his touch and after he had told the young medic that he didn't think that would be necessary, and now was neither the time nor place to discuss it, Jesse had soothed her for a few minutes before to his delight he had felt her touch his fingers and he knew that she was coming out of her anxiety attack. Once the other doctor had left Jesse had just smiled at his wife and smoothed her hair gently, saying nothing, but knowing that he didn't need to. The silence hadn't bothered Jesse, he had been happy to sit and feel the warmth of Rae's hand in his own, but gradually her eyelids had begun to droop and he had smiled at her. "You go off to sleep; I promise I'll be here when you wake up, ok?" She had closed her eyes on the world almost immediately and Jesse had known that she was no longer aware of anything._

_He too had slept, on and off, for over seven hours, only really concentrating on what was going on around him when Rae was again checked and her tube changed, she had tried so hard not to panic and Jesse had been very proud of her. When Rae had woken up properly he had been sitting watching her, he'd seen her eyes flicker before opening, and had been able to call Doctor Perry who arrived before she was completely conscious._

_The tests had been done again, but this time Rae had been a lot more aware, both of her surroundings and the agony she was in. Her pain medication had been reduced since the last check up three hours earlier, so that the ventilator could maybe have its settings changed, but for a while Doctor Perry had just watched, listening to what Jesse told him and looking at his patient to see how she appeared to be coping. _

_Jesse had let the doctor know what he did for a living just after Steve and Amanda had left on the first day. They had talked a few times since about the differences in their two hospitals, and Jesse had been impressed by the competence that the other man showed._

It had been another twenty-four hours before Doctor Perry began to change the settings on the ventilator and Rae had found it very hard. She had struggled with the knowledge that she would have to be disconnected from the machine regularly so that she could have the secretions suctioned from her mouth and throat, and when the ventilator's functions were changed so that she was the one controlling the breathing she began losing control again. The fact that she was now in charge had worried her, Rae had known that if she was breathing regularly the machine did nothing, but it would cut in if she struggled. That knowledge hadn't helped her though. With it she knew she could breathe, without it she panicked which made her breath shallow and that made her panic even more and the entire weaning process had been painful and traumatic for them all. The lung infection hadn't helped either, and it was only the threat of her not being able to be moved to Community General which had made her finally succeed in getting off the hated, but needed, machine.

ooo

John Masters looked at the picture on the dining room table and then at the telephone next to it. He dealt with complex decisions every day, this was no different. He shook his head, who was he kidding? Of course it was different, this was family.

Melina Edwards had been charged with the first-degree murder of Elizabeth Masters, as well as the attempted murder of Rae Yeager. The Chief had visited with Rae, sat at her bedside and watched the machines breathing for her, wondering the entire time what had possessed her to go willingly into a room with a murderer. Something must have happened to make his detective realise that Melina Edwards was guilty, but his daughter-in-law wasn't saying, and so they all had to wait for Rae to wake up. Once she was conscious again Rae hadn't wanted to speak about it, not until she was back at Community General Hospital, where he guessed she felt safer, more at home, and where, one afternoon, she had asked for her boss to come and visit with her when he was free, and he had found himself sitting in a room full of machinery where she had told him her story.

The oxygen mask was right by Rae's hand, and he had known that she still needed it to function. He had learnt from the reports Steve Sloan gave him that although it was now two weeks since the shooting she had only just been able to start coping without the machine breathing for her constantly. There was fear in her eyes, coupled with a sadness and weariness that only came from seeing the bad or troublesome side of life. He had brought flowers with him; he had seen them for sale in the lobby and purchased some pink roses, hoping that she would like them.

"Thank … you. They're lovely." Her voice was croaky, as if she smoked sixty cigarettes a day, and she coughed, the pain rushing across her face as she did so, and he saw her holding herself, her arms across her ribs to try, he imagined, to contain the pain. Her husband had been immediately at her side, the mask in his hand as he waited to help.

He got right to the point, knowing that small talk was beyond her as well as him. "Lieutenant Sloan is unable to tell me why you were injured, just that you thought Melina Edwards had killed Elizabeth." He had paused then for a moment, wondering if her husband knew who Elizabeth had been. "I will record your words, so you don't have to repeat yourself." The small tape recorder rested on his lap and he switched it on as he spoke again. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"The … tape." She had closed her eyes for a moment, and her knuckles whitened on her hand.

_"What tape?"_

"The … bank tape. I thought, we thought … it was a man. He … he, no, she … she cracked her … neck." Rae shook this time as she began to relate for the first time what had happened. Doctor Travis had moved to a chair on the other side of the room, sitting there so as not to interfere, but he moved forward, and just gently placed his hand over hers.

"Ok, steady. Take your time, in and out, slowly and deeply. I know it hurts, but it's the best way." The room had been silent for a minute or two as his officer had used the oxygen mask and gradually begun to relax again, and he had realised that she was scared.

"I told Steve, I … didn't know … he looked … explained … the killer … cracked his neck. Horrid, horrid thing to do. But … we … we were … wrong … it was … a … woman. In the kitchen, she did it." For a second Rae had looked away, unable to make eye contact with either her husband or himself.

"Detective?" His voice had been business-like; he had known instinctively that sympathy wouldn't be appreciated.

"I accused her … I suddenly knew, it was her. She … she tricked me and … and." Rae's hand had moved to her chest, her breathing had become ragged and Doctor Travis had put the mask over his wife's face again.

"Chief Masters, I really don't think that she can tell you any more, not right now. It needs to wait until she's stronger. When she is home."

_"A moment, Doctor, a moment. Detective, what did she do?"_

Rae had still been trying to calm herself again, and so he had waited, needing the information, the words from her lips."

"She … she shot me, said she … she would say I panicked her. She … meant … to … kill … me." The final words had been harder than all the rest and he had seen Doctor Travis take a deep breath himself.

_"That is enough, surely?"_

"Yes, yes, I quite agree. Thank you, thank you, Doctor. Detective, I'm sorry to have upset you, but I will get your statement typed up and ask you to sign it. We can talk again when you are feeling better."

That conversation hadn't taken place yet, but the short statement he had taken in the hospital had been enough to charge Melina Edwards with murder. It had also been enough for him to hope for a future with his son and grandson, and so after he had given them a few days to sort themselves out a little mentally he had made contact with them, speaking to Mr Edwards on the phone two days ago, and travelling back to Santa Barbara the previous day.

_He had purposely put the radio onto a talk station for the journey to Santa Barbara, wanting the chatter to occupy his mind so that he didn't ponder and contemplate things too much as the miles passed. The trip had seemed far shorter than usual though, and before he was ready he had been drawing up outside a very nice house in a peaceful suburban street. He knew that he was expected, but he had no idea of how he would be accepted because he hadn't informed Mr Edwards of the purpose of his visit._

_The walk up the drive was uneventful, apart from the loud beating of his heart, but as he got to the door the curtain in the first window moved and he saw the outline of a small child looking out._

_The noise of the bell sounded and then the door opened. The person he had longed to see was standing there looking like he had as a young man. There was no denying to anyone that Callum Edwards was his son, and all sorts of emotions began fighting to be released. He had seen the softness of his wife's features around the man's eyes, but there, standing in front of him, was a youthful version of himself._

_"Um, hi, can I help you?" Callum Edwards had looked at him, intently, but he hadn't said anything else._

_"Yeah, my name is John Masters, I called you?" _

_"Masters?" There had been confusion in his son's voice, and he had felt the need to explain himself a little more._

_"I'm the Chief of Police for Los Angeles." He handed over his ID to back up his claim._

_"Oh, right, did you say your name before? Oh, sorry, you'd better come in." The journey to the living room had been undertaken in silence, and then he had seen him and for a moment the years had rushed away and he was in London, on the floor playing with a child who looked almost identical to this one. The little boy was playing with a train set. The track, the train, even the floor had all been wooden, with a bridge and a slope down to a station. The small red engine had been pushed over the summit and it rushed towards the ground, accompanied by the whoo whoo sounds of the child._

_"Simon, shhh." Callum had indicated with his hand for the Chief to sit._

_"I … I'm sorry we have to be in here, but, well, I can't leave him alone." _

_John had known that he was staring at the boy; in fact he couldn't keep his eyes off him, and had to drag his attention back to what Callum was saying._

_"No, of course, I quite understand. How … how are you coping?"_

_"Fine, we're fine, aren't we?" The young man had reached over and tousled his son's hair, getting a beaming smile in response._

_"Good, good."_

_"I don't wish to appear rude, but could you tell me why you're here? I know you're the Chief of Police, but you don't visit every victim of crime in the city I don't think, and you said your name was Masters. My birth mother's name was Masters. Were you related to her?"_

_"In a way."_

John Masters sat down on his sofa. The admission that he was the father of Callum Edwards had been easier than he had imagined it would be. Telling the young man how they had split up and lived separate lives for so long was a relief, but telling him about the present and the knowledge that he had put two of the best cops he had on the case to find out who murdered his wife, realising later that they may have to arrest a child he hadn't know existed, that had been hard, very hard.

They had arranged to speak today, to decide what to do next, and John Masters found that he was scared; scared to pick up the phone and dial in case his son told him he wanted nothing to do with him. There was a cup of hot coffee next to the piece of paper with Callum's telephone number on it, and for a minute or two he pondered his situation whilst drinking it down, then, taking a deep breath and trying to prepare himself mentally for what was to come, he picked up the receiver and punched in the number.


	44. From This day Forward

**44 From this day Forward**

The church was small and intimate; Amanda and Ron had attended it together when their time off coincided and both CJ and Dion had gone to holiday and after-school clubs there. The priest was a young man of about thirty-five, Donald Milliner; he was blonde, with blue eyes and at least six foot eight tall. His presence was awe inspiring most of the time, but as he stood at the front of the church waiting, with the rest of the congregation, for Amanda and her father to arrive he looked almost inspirational.

Steve stood next to Ron looking at the bridesmaids and pageboys. He felt a movement beside him turned a little and noticed that his friend was sweating, and moving from one foot to the other, and he smiled. "Nervous, huh?"

"Oh yeah, you noticed?" Ron glanced round as if caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Hey, I'm a cop, it's what I do." Steve smiled at him again, hoping that he could reassure a man who had only appeared nervous to him once before, and he had been standing on a bomb at the time.

"And I'm a fed, so why does standing here waiting for the woman I love more than any other living person make me … oh my, God." Ron stopped talking, the words catching in his throat as he caught sight of his bride-to-be entering the church.

Steve knew that Mrs Bentley and Jo had seen Amanda's dress, but no one else. She had wanted a proper wedding, with all the trimmings, and he guessed that after the debacle of a ceremony when she had wed Colin he could understand why.

The dress seemed to have a sort of soft ethereal glow around it, and even to his untrained eye he knew it was beautiful and expensive. "See, I told you she would look like a million dollars." He heard Jo as she stage whispered towards him from the second row of the congregation and he looked at her, in his eyes no bride would ever surpass her, and even when she was gardening she looked at least that much to him.

A ripple of excitement and anticipation had seemed to pass through the church and Jo had to wipe away the tears as she saw Eliana and Anneya walking slowly towards the altar, each little girl holding the hand of one of Amanda and Ron's sons'. Both CJ and Dion were wearing black suits with silver grey waistcoats underneath, the same as their new daddy and their grandpa, as well as Mark and Steve. The four children had proudly taken their designated places and then the whole congregation seemed to hold its breath waiting for the bride.

Jo cast her eyes around the other people in the church and enjoyed their looks of appreciation and the ooh's and aah's that accompanied Amanda's journey down the aisle. The dress, a beautiful ivory silk, had a basque waistline; the skirt was tulle, slightly flared and gave the dress a breathtaking quality as the light caught it. The bodice was covered in intricate beading which also caught the light, but this time from the candles that were burning in ornate holders at the end of each pew. None of this though was as beautiful, or radiant as Amanda's face, which could be seen through the veil that covered it, and Jo felt the tears well up as her friend passed by her and stood beside the man she loved.

As Jo watched the wedding unfold in front of her she could see that the flowers in Eliana's hair were still in place, and the band that she had fixed firmly with grips looked beautiful with Anneya's blonde hair around it. Their dresses, also ivory in colour, but with small flowers all over them had little puffed sleeves, and full skirts with large bows on the backs. The effect was completed by white lacy ankle socks and ballet pumps and each little girl had a small basket filled with flowers. Jo took the hand of Mark who was sitting next to her, and squeezed it, she could see the love and pride shining in his eyes as he watched one of his closest friends get married, but she knew that it was also for Steve, as he began his public best man duties looking so dashing and handsome that for a moment Jo couldn't take her eyes off him.

Jesse trained the video camera on his girls and continued to record them. He had slipped into the church just in front of Amanda having filmed them both at her house before the wedding party set off, and then again outside the church as photos were being taken. He wanted to capture every second of the day and when he rushed home to Rae, so that Alex could attend the reception, he could show her how everything had gone. It had almost broken his heart, and hers when she realised that there was no way that she was going to be able to attend the ceremony and see their daughters being bridesmaids together for the first time and he wanted to make sure that he missed none of it for her.

ooo

The pages of the letter caught the winter breeze which was blowing in through the slightly open window and with a sigh Michael got to his feet and moved across the small, crowded room to close it.

London in December had never been his favourite place, and he longed for the Californian sun, the warmth it effortlessly spread through his bones, the clear, cloudless skies, the bustle filled markets and streets and he sighed again. Christmas would be spent here, there was no way he would get back in time, and he wondered, not for the first time, how his family were coping without him. _His family_, he had always thought of them as such, but now, in the darkness of the night he realised that they had been far more to him than he had ever wanted to know.

He knew that Miss Josephine had been reading letters and communications from her grandmother ever since she began working her way through the attic in Beverly Hills and then in Texas. What he hadn't known, couldn't have known, was that in his mother's effects would be letters for him too.

Michael had never been close to his mother, and had left home at sixteen. He had worked in three of the top London stores ending up in Harrods in the men's wear department. But at the age of twenty-four he had enrolled in a butlering school, completing the course with flying colours. He worked in the private residence of the American ambassador in London as an under-butler until the time came for the diplomat to be recalled to Washington. Michael had been asked to accompany him and he had accepted, travelling on to California with him where he had lived ever since.

Miss Josephine's grandmother had sought him out, he had never really tried to find out why, and taken him on, at an extraordinary salary which he had to admit had been the sole reason for him taking the job. As a young man of twenty-eight he had hoped for work in the homes of film stars or singers, not a wealthy but exceptionally strong-willed Texan woman and her husband. Mrs Walters hadn't lived in Beverly Hills for the whole year, but he had. While the couple were in Texas he had kept the household running, there had been a cook employed and maids then, three of them, plus a full time gardener and two part-time assistants and he had been in charge of the entire staff. Gradually though they had all left and not been replaced, and by the time that he had been working for Mrs Walters for ten years it was just himself and the old lady. She had offered to let him leave, even gone so far as writing out glowing references for him, but he had realised that whilst it might not have been his dream job, working for Florence Walters was a pleasure, he was always kept on his toes, and life was never dull. He had refused her offer, and never regretted it, although sometimes he did let his mind wander across to the Hollywood Hills and the world famous movie stars who were hiring butlers and personal assistants to help run their lives for them and wondered whether he would have been so content.

Michael stared at the letter in front of him and groaned. It wasn't a sound that any of his acquaintances would associate him with, far too emotional a response, and he shook his head, all he had were acquaintances, and right now he really needed a friend. Someone he could confide in, knowing that nothing that he said would be repeated, and although he knew that he could call any number of his employers' friends and they would happily help him, he didn't want to put pressure on them to keep secret something he knew he would have to own up to before too long anyway.

His mother had died just two days earlier, the funeral was going to be held between the Christmas and New Year holidays, and so he was stuck here, staying in his late mother's small, overly crowded flat and feeling guilty for wishing that he was anyplace but where he was. Not knowing what else to do he picked up the letter, and began to read it through once again.

_Dear Michael,_

_I am wondering as I write this whether you will ever read it, but I have to be positive and so I will tell myself that you will, one day soon, see the words I am about to write, the words that I was never able to bring myself to tell you in person._

_I sincerely hope that you have carried on living in my house in Beverly Hills, I know that you will be aware of the provision I made for you in my will, I want you to be there for Josephine, and I know that you always intended for that to happen._

_Michael, I know that we were together a long time and had very few secrets from each other, but there was always one thing which I couldn't share with you. _

_With this letter is a copy of your birth certificate, I know you have the original, and a letter, I guess the rest is self-explanatory. I hunted you down, Michael, I needed to find you, and in doing so I also found the best friend and companion I could have ever asked for. I corresponded with your mother for a great number of years, if she did as I asked then the letters will all be stored somewhere. I will have been dead only a short time as you read this, I hope you will forgive me for what I kept from you, and cherish our time together as I have done._

_Your friend always,_

Florence Walters 

Michael shook his head, first of all as he read the letter through he had wondered why Mrs Walters would have a copy of his birth certificate, then he wondered why she would have sought him out, and finally why she thought she would have been dead only a short time, when in fact it was over five years since her passing.

It hadn't taken long to search through his mother's flat, the box of letters had been on top of the wardrobe in her bedroom, a shoe box, tied around with string, full of letters with a California postmark along with one, handwritten by his own mother, which had at least answered one of his questions.

_Michael,_

_I should have sent these to you a long time ago, but I couldn't bring myself to, even though she asked me to post them to you as soon as she died. You were my miracle child, at the time I didn't think I would ever have the chance to have another, but of course, your brother was born five years after you. I kept telling myself that what had happened wouldn't change things, but I knew in my heart that it would have, had to have, an effect on you._

_I was young, Michael, not very attractive, at least I didn't think so, and he was so dashing, so handsome, and that accent, oh I could have listened to him talk for hours, I told him once, 'Charlie, I would listen to you recite the 'phone book if you'll just keep talking.' He laughed, and then he didn't say a word, not for about an hour. He was a wonderful man, Charles Walters, and he was your father._

_When you told me who you were working for out in California I nearly died on the spot, I didn't know what to do. I worried and worried about it for days, weeks even, but in the end I just had to know and I wrote to her, asking if she knew who you were. I never thought I would have to write such a difficult letter ever again, I was wrong; I'm having to write this one._

_She wrote back, the letter is in this box, right at the bottom, yes, she said, she knew who you were, and who I was. Charles, she never called him Charlie, had talked about me when he got home, but he was married. Michael, he never told me that, but she told me they had no children, not when you were born. I should have told you when you were a boy, but I didn't. I knew they had money, not that I wanted any of it, but you might have. You might have left me, gone to live with them and I couldn't let that happen, but in the end, no matter what I did, you lived with them anyway._

_Your mistress_, his mother had crossed the word through but still he could see it, _your boss, now, Miss Josephine as you call her, she is your sister, I would hear you tell me of the things that she did, how delighted you were when she got married, how honoured you had been to prepare the wedding breakfast for them, and still I couldn't send the letters on to you, you were working for your own sister, and you never knew. You should have been a guest, not a servant._

_Please, Michael, please don't hate me, I have loved you so much my whole life, even though I have seen so little of you. I always hoped you would invite me out there, so I could see where you were and what you did and meet the family who were yours, but you never did, and now, as you read this it will be too late. I know that I will never be brave enough to send these to you, but neither will I destroy them, once I am gone you will find them, and I hope that you will forgive me for what I have done._

_Lots of love_

_Mum_

ooo

There was definitely going to be a party, he could see that from all the coming and going from the Walters house to that of the Travis's two doors down. She had been so easy to investigate; the newspaper articles alone filled three folders in his rented apartment. English, pretty, if you liked that type, which he didn't, clever as a box of snakes, a good cop, no one had anything bad to say about her working attitude, and he had tried, but there was nothing that made her out to be anything but hard working, conscientious, nice. He shuddered, he didn't do nice, he didn't like nice, and he didn't like her.

In a way it was a shame he wasn't after her, but who knew what might happen, she had been injured, again, she would be easy prey. Then, of course, there was her husband, cheerful to the point of strangulation. Always seeing the good side of everyone and everything, again he'd been doing his research, carefully, the man was also very nervous right now, been ill from what he'd heard, and so he'd had to tread very lightly.

They'd separated for a while there, and he'd lost sight of the doctor. But he was back, all lovey-dovey with his wife, obviously making up for lost time, although to look at her right now she didn't seem able to make it through a day, let alone host the party which he had been watching the preparations for over the last couple of days.

First of all there had been the wedding, the phone calls back and forth from Josephine to her friend Amanda, and that husband of hers, Steve, to his friend, Ron, he needed to be careful there, the man was a fed. He had heard it all, the details of the dress, what they would be eating at the reception, and then on the day the news that the English woman wouldn't be going, that her doctor would stay with her so that her husband could take movies of the great event. _Please!_ He blew a stream of smoke out of the car window and then raised it again. It was time for him to be getting back to his place, he had a pile of mail to go through, the stuff which should put the last few nails in the Walters coffin, at least that was the way they'd planned it, and so far it was going exactly according to that plan.

"Honey, will you stop it? I'm havin' a ball, I'm enjoyin' myself no end, an' when Christmas Eve comes around tomorrow I will be takin' part just like everyone else." Jo's eyes were dancing and it was clear that she was speaking the truth.

"I just … it was supposed to be my thank you." Rae looked down at her feet, she knew that whatever she said would sound ungrateful, and she wasn't, not at all, her friends did so much for her, had done so much lately, and all she had wanted to do was organise a Christmas party, she had promised Anneya that Santa would come and call, and she hadn't even been able to arrange that part of it.

"Rae, you know that every little thin' that we do for you an' your family is because we want to. You would do the same for us an' not expect anythin' in return, but when it is you on the receivin' end, well…"

"Then that's different." Rae smiled and leant forward to kiss her friend on the cheek. The movement caused her to grimace in pain, but she was determined to do what she had set out to and so she didn't let it stop her.

"Hey, careful, I don't want to get in trouble with Alex, I heard him tell you off remember!"

Rae nodded, she did remember, only too well, how Alex had actually raised his voice to her, twice, on the day of Amanda's wedding, and as she did so the scene came up in her mind's eye.

_"Jesse, come quickly, I need you." Rae had been aware of her friend as she called for her husband, and the worry in her daughter's voice as she held onto her hand._

_"Mommy, Daddy mend it, make it better."_

_She had been unable to answer, to do anything, and so she had just stayed where she was in one of the spare bedrooms and hoped that she wouldn't pass out._

_Texas had taken Eliana to have a shower and her hair washed before she braided it for her. Rae, who had come up the stairs carefully with them, had watched them go into the nursery bathroom with such a heavy heart that she felt it might crash to the floor and break. The feelings of total uselessness and futility were almost overwhelming and she had sat in the chair on the upstairs landing catching her breath and wishing that she could either help in some way or was still in the hospital so she wouldn't know what was going on._

_Slowly and carefully she had got to her feet, realising that there was something she could do to help. When Texas had brought the girls home from their final dress fittings the previous evening, they had been allowed to show the outfits to their mom. The two clothes bags were in the spare bedroom closet, she would get them, it would be another job done, and she would at least have contributed something to the day._

_The door had seemed stiffer than she remembered and the pole across the middle of the wardrobe definitely higher. The first dress, inside its plastic cover, had been difficult to reach, but she had done it, the second one had moved as she grabbed for it, resulting in a sharp pain radiating across her chest that caused her to collapse to the ground gasping for air._

_"Rae? Honey, are you alright?" She could hear her friend, but she had been unable to get enough breath to call out and so she had laid, in pain, unable to catch her breath, the room swimming around her, "Jesse, come quickly, I need you." Rae had seen the horror in her friend's eyes as she realised that Jesse had gone to see Steve, calling out to Texas, and kissing his wife on the cheek as she sat on the landing._

_"I'll call him." The cell phone was in her hand as she spoke, and Rae knew that Jesse would fly back. "He says to call Alex, do you have his number?"_

_She still had been unable to do anything except gasp, the pain was all encompassing, but she had pointed to her pocket and Texas had taken her cell phone out, found Alex's number and called him._

_"Of all the stupid things to do! Rae, you were shot, it punctured your lung, you were operated on, you got an infection, and you are standing on tippy toe to get a dress out of a closet! I should take you back to Community General right now and strap you down!" Alex's voice had got louder as he spoke and as he had shouted at her she had known that he was right._

_"I'm … I'm sorry, Alex. I just wanted to help." She had been lying on the bed in the spare room closest to the nursery; Texas and Jesse had been unwilling to move her to the master bedroom. There was an oxygen cylinder by her side, and a mask on her face, which she lifted to speak._

_"Well, doctor's orders, no wedding …"_

_"No, Alex, please, don't…"_

_"Rae, I'm sorry, but you knew that this was going to be a big day for your family. You should have done nothing more than sit and rest until someone came with the wheelchair to take you to the car for the ride to the church. You have only been home two days; there is no way you can go this afternoon, not unless you want to spoil their day."_

_"But … but you said …" She had been so pleased when Alex had released her from the hospital in time for the wedding, but it hadn't been the right thing to say._

_"I said you could go, I know I did, and you could have, if you had taken it easy, and not made it worse, but did you? Oh no, not you, you have to go clambering around in closets, Rae, being shot is bad enough, but you got an infection, you nearly died, you cannot bounce back just because you want to, ok? The result is no wedding, and an afternoon with me watching over you so at least someone can go see your daughters' big moment." Alex's voice had risen again, and she had tried to answer him._

_"I'm sorry …" She hadn't been able to continue, the tears had welled up in her eyes, and the fear of the pain they would cause hadn't been enough to stop them falling until, in the end, she had collapsed back on the bed, exhausted, knowing that not only had she deserved Alex's outburst but that she would be staying where she was for the foreseeable future._

ooo

The phone was ringing as he unlocked the door to the crummy apartment he had rented and he picked it up as he dropped his things onto the couch. "Yeah … oh, it's you … I have them, well, I know you can't, not without lookin' totally suspicious … why, darlin' don't you trust me?" He laughed, trust wasn't a big thing between them, but then in the end as long as he was paid he didn't care whether they became buddy-buddy or not.

"What? Well, no, I didn't realise that." He paused for effect before speaking again, the sarcasm dripping from his words. "Of course I know that, I used to be a cop remember?" _Stupid, broad._ "Honey, when this is over you won't have to ever speak to me again … yeah, well it'll be too soon for me too." He dropped the phone back on its cradle, moved over to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer from the door. Then picking up the mail again he sat at the table and began to read.

ooo

Michael had sat looking at his mother's letter for a long time, the tears, which had surprised him, had gone, but he was left with a void which he knew could have been filled many years before if only he had let it.

The second letter from Florence Walters was on top of his birth certificate and, almost not wanting to but unable to stop himself, he reached out and picked it up.

_My dear Michael,_

_My son was a weak man, given to impulsive actions, leading to long-lasting unforeseen consequences. But he was in his way an honourable man, and he always felt very badly about how he treated your mother._

_She wanted nothing to do with Charles once she found out he was already married, and I was only too happy to go along with that until the day when I lost him, and realised that by my own actions I had already lost you twenty years earlier._

_You were easy to find, in fact I couldn't believe how easy. I contacted the American embassy in London and they put me in touch with Somerset House where I obtained a copy of your birth certificate, which I sat on for five years. Then I got a call from the Ambassador, who I had known for__many years. He had a new under-butler, he said, and thought I would be interested to know all about him._

_The rest is history, as they say; I finally got to meet my first grandchild, to spend time with him, to learn to love him. But I could never bring myself to own up to truth behind our relationship. _

_I know that your daddy wrote you letters, but I fear that they were lost in the fire that claimed him. As you will realise, there are many, many things for Josephine to go through, to look at, but none of them will relate to her early years, all of that is gone. _

_Michael, I leave it up to you how you will deal with this bomb I have dropped on you, cowardly I know, but the decision to tell is now yours and yours alone._

_Your inheritance was always your salary; I didn't know how else to deal with it. There are arrangements made for it to last your entire life, I hope that your British stiff upper lip won't prevent you from continuing to claim it. For every wage check you cashed another was put into a savings account for you. Gilbert has all the details; he alone knows your secret. If you decide to do nothing that knowledge will pass from senior partner to senior partner until your death when the money will return from whence it came._

_Michael, I cannot begin to understand how all of this will make you feel, which is another reason why I confided in Gilbert. Talk to him, listen to what he has to say, he will help you._

_With my love and best wishes always,_

_Your grandmother,_

_Florence Walters_

Michael sat down heavily on his mother's bed, he didn't actually remember moving into her room, but he was glad he had. He lay back, looking up at a ceiling that was covered in a shiny cream paint over a repeating pattern of interlocking circles. There was just too much information to take in, he would have to read through everything again, but not now, now he was too tired, too emotionally raw to make any rational decisions about anything. With a sigh he heaved himself back up off the bed and headed for the bathroom, hoping that a shower and a good night's sleep would help.


	45. Tis the Season

**45 'Tis the Season**

On the Monday before Christmas Steve stood in the front yard of Oak Place and looked down at his shoes. Then he brushed them up the backs of his pants, ran his hand through his hair and straightened his tie, he checked his gift once more as the front door opened and Vicki Eaden, Rae and Jesse's housekeeper, looked out. "Lieutenant Sloan, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear the doorbell."

"No, it's ok, I, uh, I haven't rung it yet." He felt a little embarrassed, she was his partner for goodness sake, and here he was standing out in the yard like a sixteen-year-old on a first date, hell, he never even thought of her in that way, what was he doing?

"Are you going to come in, Lieutenant, or do you want me to go?" The young woman smiled and moved back over the threshold.

"No, I'll come in now. Thank you." Steve was impressed with the housekeeper, he hadn't really spoken to her before, although Jesse had mentioned her a couple of times. She seemed very levelheaded, and had read him easily. As he stood on the step she spoke once more.

"Mr and Mrs Travis are in the breakfast room, Sir." With another smile she retreated, leaving Steve to make his way in alone and when he turned from closing the door the hallway was deserted, Vicki, knowing that Steve would make his own way into the breakfast room, had returned to her duties in the kitchen.

As he got a little nearer to the door he heard a sound that made him stop in his tracks and listen. The sound was Jesse, his voice as animated as he had heard him for a long time, and Steve waited, realising that his friend was back from the long journey he had been on.

"… I just had to go back, y'know, go over the x-rays again, I mean, there had to be something there, something I was missing." The enthusiasm in Jesse's voice was contagious and Steve smiled, and as Rae replied he could hear that she was doing the same.

"What did you find? I'm guessing that you did find something."

"Well, yeah, I know he wasn't dying or anything, not even in terrible pain, but I just couldn't work out why a ten-year-old boy would get these cramps, and have a healthy appendix, no bowel problems, nothing to suggest anything that was out of the ordinary. I … I couldn't sleep, it was really bugging me."

"Jesse." Rae's voice cut into the one-sided conversation.

"Yeah?"

"What did you find?"

"Oh, he'd swallowed a zip fastener."

"He'd swallowed a what?" Rae's voice was now incredulous. "How do you swallow a zipper, and yes, I know, open your mouth and down it goes, I don't mean that. Why would you do that?"

"Apparently he throws peanuts up and catches and swallows them, y'know, sort of like this." There was a lull in the conversation, but Steve knew just what Jesse was doing.

"Ok, so you can do that with jelly beans, that still doesn't explain it."

"He wanted to see if he could swallow something a little more out of the ordinary."

"But a zipper, and how did you know it was that anyway?"

"Because when we held the x-ray up to the light box we could see '_Puma'_ written on it!"

There was laughter then, from both Jesse and Rae, although Rae's turned into coughing before she was through and he heard Jesse gently reassuring and helping her. Clearing his throat, Steve tapped on the door, hoping that no one would realise that he had been eavesdropping.

"Come in, Vicki." Jesse's voice was happy and carefree, and as Steve entered the room, he could see that he looked that way too. "Hey, Steve, oh my, is that the time?" Jesse checked his watch as he saw his friend, "Are you ok? Only I gotta run." Jesse waited while Rae nodded her head, there was still pain in her face, but she was breathing steadily and he was reassured. "Honey, I'll be home about eleven, Sally is gonna bring the girls over just after six. She'll give them tea; all they will need is a snack and a bedtime story and you know Vicki will do it all if you just ask."

Jesse kissed Rae on the cheek, and then he carefully pulled her close. "I love you. I'll see you later."

"I love you too, take care, say hi to Mark and Alex for me." Rae smiled; she kept Jesse's hand in her own for just a few seconds longer and then regretfully let go.

"See ya, Steve." Jesse clapped his friend on the shoulder as he passed him, and Steve watched as Rae didn't take her eyes off her husband until he was out of the room and the door was closed behind him.

"Hi, Rae, how are you?" Steve felt awkward again, the time they had spent apart making his mission so much harder than it should be. He turned the gift over in his hands and suddenly remembered that he was holding it. "These … these are for you."

"Ooh, pressies, thank you." Rae pulled the paper off and a smile split her face. "Chocolates, are you trying to get round me, Lieutenant?"

Steve turned away, the comment was too close to the truth for him to handle.

"Steve, what is it, what's wrong?" Rae was concerned now, she had been joking, but she knew that Steve hadn't taken it that way. She had been home for almost a week, and had suffered over the past two days because of the exertions of Amanda and Ron's wedding; she was still cross with herself that she hadn't been able to attend, and had spent most of the previous forty-eight hours in bed, only venturing down stairs a little over an hour earlier. Now though, she carefully sat up on the sofa where she had been lying, and placed her feet on the floor. "Come and sit down, here, where I can see you."

"No, Rae, I can't."

"I guess I'll have to stand up then." She shuffled closer to the edge of the sofa, the movements, as she knew they would, causing her to gasp a little.

"Ok, ok, but that's blackmail you know." He couldn't help but smile, she had beaten him, and he knew it. Carefully, so as not to hurt her, Steve sat a little way away from Rae on the sofa and then looked at his hands.

"We've always been able to talk to each other. Maybe sometimes we didn't want to, but I have known that I could come to you no matter what. You don't feel that right now, do you?" Her voice was soft, and a little raspy as she spoke, and Rae looked at her partner, his face was lined with worry, and for a moment she watched the way he was playing with his fingers, weaving them into the crease in his pants, and then letting the material fall again.

"I just don't know what to say." Still he didn't look at her, and Rae realised that he hadn't made eye contact with her since he'd entered the room.

"About what? The case is closed, if Melina Edwards ever recovers she'll face trial, if she doesn't then the entire thing will be filed away and the Chief's secret is safe."

Melina Edwards had come through her surgery without any problems, but when she had been taken off the ventilator she had suffered a stroke and sunk into a coma. The medical staff in Santa Barbara were doubtful she would ever regain consciousness.

"So, unless I screwed up someplace I don't know about, 'good job, Partner', would be nice, then we can move on." She tried a smile, but it wasn't returned.

"No, I can't say that, because it wasn't a good job, things didn't add up, I let you …" he trailed off, knowing what he had done was one thing, admitting it to Rae was another altogether.

"You let me do what? I don't recall doing anything that I didn't want to do. Or are you feeling guilty that I was the one who went with Melina into the kitchen. If so, don't be, I was the logical choice. Soften her up a bit, find out what Callum had been doing, at least that was how I thought it would go."

This time it was Rae who stopped talking. She wasn't sure what had happened, not exactly. She had seen the gun, that was her last certain memory. Rae was pretty sure on her facts up to that moment, but she didn't remember anything else for over a week afterwards.

"I knew that something was wrong, I didn't know what, but I just knew. Trust your instincts, that's basic training. So what do I do? I send you off with the one person in the room that I **don't** trust. She very nearly killed you, if I hadn't been able to speak with Dad she would have done. I don't know what I would do if I thought I'd been responsible for your death. This is bad enough." He went to stand, to move away from her, but Rae caught his sleeve and refused to let go.

"You've been avoiding me, haven't you?" The words were soft and, although it was a question, they both knew the answer.

"How could I face you? I ought to be hung out to dry for what I did to you." This time he did get to his feet, but sat down again instantly when he saw Rae begin to struggle to join him.

"Do you think that I don't have instincts? That I just work by the book the entire time?"

"No! You don't have a book."

"Ha ha! I didn't like her, Melina I mean, I knew that something was a bit off too, but I didn't feel threatened by her, and it wasn't until I got into the kitchen and she … well, you know what she did, it wasn't until then that I realised how much danger I was in."

"Rae, I have no idea what happened. The records were written up, your statement included, and they've been sealed. John Masters is a very powerful man, he wants this kept quiet, and it will be, nothing will ever be mentioned again, by anyone."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry, I just figured you knew. You must have made a statement too. He said that I could make another one when I was better, I guess I won't be doing that."

"No, I doubt it. Rae, what did you see?"

There was a pause as Rae tried, not too successfully, to take a deep breath. "Do you remember the video?" Rae turned slightly in her seat, she wanted to look at her partner as she spoke, but more than that, she wanted him to look at her.

"What video? Oh, you mean the security tape, from the building. Yeah, I remember that. You talked about it enough."

"True." The neck cracking had freaked her out, she hated watching it, couldn't understand how anyone could do it, and then she had seen it, right there in front of her. "She did it."

"Yes, I know that. But what made you suspect her?"

"No, nit! She cracked her neck. We were in the kitchen, she did that awful thing with her body and I just knew." Rae couldn't prevent the shudder that ran through her; the memories were too fresh, too painful.

"But we thought it was a man … Wait, she wore her hair short, real short, I never considered that."

"Me either. You know, when we were walking off to get the coffees, there was something, I didn't have any idea what it was, but there was something about her that worried me. I know what it was now. I recognised her walk. I'd only seen our killer from the back, and there she was, just in front of me, but it didn't register, maybe if it had…" Rae ran her hand through her hair; suddenly it was getting hard, hard to talk about and even harder to remember what had happened.

"But how did she know that you'd recognised her? Cracking her neck must have been something she did all the time, however nasty we might have thought it, why did she shoot you?"

"Because … because I … I cried out. I couldn't help it, I accused her, and she had a gun … she …" Rae's breath had begun to get short, she was scared, she didn't want to relive her memories any more but she couldn't stop them and as she gasped for air she saw Steve move closer to her. "She … she pointed it at me … I knew … I knew I would die … you saved me … Jesse told m … e." She had run out of air, there was nothing more she could say or do and she collapsed against him.

"Steady, shhh, it's ok. Relax; we don't have to talk about it any more." He held her close and she laid her head against his chest. Their relationship was back on firm ground again. He hadn't lost her, and even though he still knew that he could have acted differently he also knew that he wasn't to blame, not totally, for her injury.

The room was silent for a long time, neither of them needing to say anything, but they did need to feel the physical presence of each other. Finally Rae pulled away; there was one more thing she had to say. "Steve … I never blamed you … not ever … I didn't know you were hurting so badly, I'm sorry."

"I know, and I'm sorry that I didn't come see you sooner. We made mistakes this time around and they were nearly fatal. We won't make them again … Rae, I have to go." Steve had caught the time on his watch as his arm had been around her, and he realised that his shift started in a little over an hour.

"I'm glad you came in the end, and if we don't learn from our mistakes then we don't deserve to do this job. Say hi to everyone for me, please."

"Of course. I guess you don't know when you'll be back?"

The very suggestion made her blood run cold, and she shook her head. "No, I have no idea. But when I do, you'll be the first to know."

"Ok. Now you get some rest, if you lie down I'll cover you over." Rae did as she was told, and then Steve pulled the comforter up over her shoulders. He leant down and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Sleep well, I'll see myself out."

"I will. Take care, be careful."

"I always am." He quietly left the room, taking one last look at her as he did so, and then he went to find Vicki to tell her that he was leaving. He checked the breakfast room once more after that and Rae was already fast asleep.

ooo

The wrapping paper was strewn all over the dining table; presents were stacked up on chairs and the sofa behind where Rae and Vicki were sitting. The CD player was providing Christmas music and the two women had been taking the chance to get to know each other a little better as they worked. Vicki was also showing Rae some of the signs that she had been teaching Anneya in the three weeks that she had been working with her new charge.

"Some of the signs are obvious aren't they? We would use them anyway." Rae had understood a few of the things that her daughter was saying with her hands, and had been amazed at how quickly she seemed to be picking them up.

"Yes, 'hi' is a wave, just a little one, and drink you make sort of a 'c' shape with your hand and tilt it back and forth." Vicki smiled as she spoke, watching her new boss make the signs herself.

"What's this one?" Rae ran the index finger of her left hand down her throat. "Anneya did that this morning, but I didn't know what it meant." The screaming had started as she and Jesse had been waking up. They had been unable to give their daughter what she had wanted, and Jesse had rocked her for a minute before handing over a bottle of water that was on the nightstand by the little girl's crib.

"Thirsty. She picked that one up quicker than I thought she would." Vicki had decided to sign all the time while Anneya was around, showing her what she was doing or saying at the same time. "Although I think she uses it to mean she wants a drink, rather than that she is actually thirsty."

"Oh, we got it right, but it was a pure guess. We need to learn the words with her, don't we?"

"Yes, that would be the best. Doctor Travis went to the Footsteps in the Sand centre, while you were in the hospital, and he picked up a few things."

"They're starting a new semester of lessons in the New Year; we have signed up for that. With you here teaching her, and us learning as well, I'm hoping that we can make life a little easier for her.

"Could you pass me another present?" Rae made a counter clockwise circle with her right hand flat over her heart, "That's 'please', right?"

"Very good." Vicki watched as Rae then touched her lips with the fingertips of both flat hands and then moved them until the palms were facing upwards and she slightly bowed her head. "Thank you, too." Vicki made the sign for thirsty again and saw Rae nod her head. "Tea?"

"That would be lovely, thank you. If you call me when it's done I'll come and get it, for the exercise."

It was a week since Amanda and Ron's wedding and the day that Rae had incurred Alex's wrath. He had apologised to her for shouting and reducing her to tears, but Rae knew that she had deserved the telling off, and from then on she had been very carefully following her exercise regime but making sure that she wasn't overdoing it.

She had returned to the hospital for a check up the day after Steve's visit, and had been told in no uncertain terms that any more silly or dangerous escapades and Alex would refer her to a rehab centre rather than the loving care of her family and friends. While she had been at Community General Rae had made an appointment to see Lauren after the holidays. She hadn't planned to, but she had been plagued by bad dreams and knew that talking things through with her therapist would help get rid of them. Rae had then spent a couple of days on the Internet ordering Christmas presents for everyone. They were now awaiting wrapping, and so, to keep eager, excited children at bay, Jesse had dropped the girls at Sally's on his way to work.

Anneya had begun staying at home with Vicki when her parents were working. She still went to her first carer for one day a week because both Rae and Jesse knew how much she loved Sally and there had been so much change in her short life that they wanted to keep at least some continuity if they could. Sally had been very understanding of the reasons for the change, but delighted to still be able to see the little girl on a regular basis.

Eliana had been a tree in the Christmas play at her nursery. She had come on, resplendent in a brown material trunk, with a set of cardboard branches behind her head covered in green leaves, and beamed at the audience. She had then welcomed everyone to their Christmas celebrations before taking her place with the rest of the 'forest' on the right hand side of the stage. Once again Jesse had been in charge of the video camera, but this time Rae had been there to see her daughter's first public performance.

Rae had been amused to see that the nursery schools in America made the same Christmas decorations as British ones. On the table just in front of her was a toilet roll middle covered in cotton balls which was a snowman and another, which had a piece of red paper around it and a hat on, that one was Santa. There was also a calendar ready for the New Year, three cards, one for daddy and one for mommy, as well as one to Uncle Steve and Aunty Jo. All had finger paint patterns on them interspersed with the seasonal cotton balls.

Stockings had been bought on a shopping trip that Jesse had taken with his children. They now hung on four hooks over the fire place in the breakfast room, and Rae had seen Eliana touch hers every time she passed it, but leave it just where it was. Upstairs in one of the bedroom closets were two large bags of toys, already wrapped, for Santa to deliver, and Rae had a feeling that they would all be up very early on Christmas morning to see if there had been a visitor during the night.

Rae's present for Jesse was in Steve's garage. She was very aware of how much her husband had changed his life to accommodate her place in it. She was also aware that he needed to return to some of his old hobbies. To that end the gift, covered in shiny gold paper with red ribbons around it, was a dark orange surfboard, there was a large stethoscope across the top end and 'Surf Doctor' down the middle. A new wet suit was also wrapped in the same paper hidden under the bed in one of the spare rooms of Oak Place.

"Tea's ready." Rae heard Vicki call out and with a sigh, which hurt a lot more than she would like, Rae carefully got to her feet and began to make her way out to the kitchen, planning nothing more strenuous than the short walk and some gift wrapping to finish a restful and relaxing morning.

ooo

It had been a very busy week. As she sat back in her chair and let her thoughts wander just a little Cheryl tried to relax her body, if not her mind. There was a report on the desk in front of her which she had written out four times before she felt happy with it, although happy wasn't really the right word. It had been adequate. The day in question had started out so well, dipped a little in the middle and then picked up again, although it had just caused more headaches in the end. For a moment she smiled as she remembered back.

It had been the Monday after Amanda and Ron's wedding. She and Martin had attended the reception, and enjoyed themselves very much. Martin had been sad not to see Rae there; he had worried about her a great deal while she was in the hospital and had spent some time sitting quietly at her bedside once she had been moved back to Community General. Jesse and Cheryl had arranged with Martin that he could spend the day with Rae on the Monday, Jesse wasn't working until the evening, and so the three of them could have some time together.

Cheryl had dropped Martin off just after nine, been introduced to the new housekeeper and then, as she pulled up in front of Steve and Jo's house, her radio had alerted her to a possible location for their red rose killer.

She had called Steve and then they had both driven off in his car to a small hairdressing business in Venice.

The owner, a man named Thomas Rhymes, had been standing nervously in the doorway to a salon called TR's.

_"I'll bet it took him a long time to think that name up!" Cheryl's words were accompanied by a sardonic smile and Steve chuckled in response._

_"You know, you could set up a radio shop, call it CB's."_

_"Oh funny, Sloan, real funny." She shut the door to Steve's car a little firmer than usual, and laughed as she saw him glare at her. "It's a car, it'll cope!"_

_"Mr. Rhymes?" Cheryl watched as Steve decided to ignore her comment and get on with the matter at hand. "Lieutenant Steve Sloan, LAPD, this is my partner, Detective Cheryl Banks."_

_"Steve, I'm glad to see you." Mr. Rhymes was instantly on first name terms, a reaction that Cheryl had been sure Steve wouldn't like. "Like I said on the phone, this guy, this Dominic Little, well, I know him."_

_"Do you think we could talk inside rather than here on the sidewalk?" Steve indicated with his hand and the man backed into his shop._

_"Sure, Steve, sorry, I'm just a little nervous, that's all, just a little nervous."_

_Once they had settled themselves on three of the chairs in the waiting area, and Cheryl had resisted the temptation to pick up a magazine and flick absentmindedly through it, Steve took his notebook out of his pocket and they both looked at the man a little more closely._

_Thomas Rhymes was about forty, maybe forty-five years old. His hair was thinning on top and was cut very close to the scalp. He was wearing brown cord trousers and a cream coloured smock-type top with a roll neck and __TR embroidered on the right breast pocket, which contained four combs and three large hairgrips clipped to the front of it._

_He also had three rings on one hand and two on the other. As he sat there, looking nervously around the room, his fingers fiddled and twisted the one on his right thumb._

_"Mr. Rhymes," Steve began to speak and the man jumped in his seat. "I understand that you contacted the North Hollywood precinct this morning in response to the flyer we sent out about a hairdresser called Dominic Little."_

_"Yes, that's right, I don't open on Mondays, I come and do my paperwork. This morning I got your letter, I called a few friends who have salons, they said they had them too, different locations across LA, so I knew it was serious. What's he done, Steve?"_

_"We just need to speak with him in connection with a case we're investigating at the moment." Mr. Rhymes' eyes were wide, his breathing was a little erratic, and as she spoke Cheryl had a feeling that panic wasn't far beneath the not so calm exterior._

_"Oh, I see, only it said homicide, that's killing someone isn't it, homicide?"_

_"Yes, Sir, that's what homicide is, but like I said, we just need speak to with him, hopefully to eliminate him from our enquiries." Cheryl smiled inwardly at the lie; if they eliminated him they would have zip! She had pushed the thought away, got to her feet and began to look casually around the room. _

_"How long have you known Mr. Little?" Her voice was relaxed, but Cheryl knew that if he told her that the man had just arrived from out of town two weeks ago then he wasn't the guy they were looking for._

_"About a year, maybe eighteen months, you know how time rushes by. He answered an advertisement I put in the local paper, he was polite, quite good looking, I knew that the grandmas would love him, and that the college students and bored housewives would adore him. I was right."_

_"And you didn't have any concerns about him? Was he reliable, ever let you down, not come in when he said he would, that sort of thing?"_

_"No, Ma'am, no, not at all. I have five people working for me, he was the best. In fact he even went to a competition in San Francisco for me a little while back, at real short notice, when one of my other stylists let me down at the last minute."_

_For a moment Cheryl hadn't said anything, but she felt her heart rate increase, and wanted to hold her breath as Steve asked the obvious question. "When was that, Mr Rhymes?"_

_"When? Um, you know I have no idea. But I have it written down, it'll be over there." Thomas moved towards what was obviously the reception desk and then picked up a black leather diary. "I write everything in here, appointments, holidays, sick days, it's my lifesaver. If I ever lost it I think I would have to close the salon._

_"Ah, it was just about a week before Thanksgiving, he did quite well too, got to the quarter finals before he was eliminated, which, as he hadn't had any time to prepare, was pretty good I thought."_

_"So, if you don't open on Mondays do you have an address where we can contact Mr. Little?" Steve had watched her take down the details from the diary in front of her. She knew that lifesaver or not, it may well become evidence._

_"Oh, he doesn't work here any longer."_

_"What?" Steve spat out the word and Cheryl looked up sharply from her note taking._

_"No, Steve, I thought you knew that. He never came back after the competition in San Fran, didn't even pick up his last pay check."_

_"Mr. Rhymes, do you have an address for him?" The calmness in Steve's voice was camouflaging the anger Cheryl knew he felt, and she also knew that he was holding his frustrations in by the smallest of margins._

"How did it go?" Cheryl watched as Steve walked back across the squad room and sat at his desk. He had been called into Newman's office over thirty minutes earlier, and now he looked a little shell-shocked.

"Um, fine." Steve picked up a pencil, then looked at it as if he had no idea how it got into his hand.

"Steve?" Cheryl moved across towards her partner, concerned that he didn't seem to be functioning properly.

"I'm sorry, let's get back to what we were doing, I'll tell you about it later."

"You mean you didn't talk about Dominic Little?"

"Nope, not at all." Steve smiled, "Let me look through this and then we'll re-group, ok?"

"Yeah, sure." Cheryl watched him for a few more seconds, and then satisfied that he was at least back on the same planet as her she went back to her own desk.

Steve picked up the three sheets of closely typewritten notes and cast his mind back to the beginning of the week.

The last known address of Dominic Little had been a small, fastidiously tidy ranch style home, with a tiny yard in front full of pots of different sizes and textures, spreading a riot of colour across the paved area, which had been bordered with a neat white picket fence.

_"You know, if I was going around cutting up the female population of California, I don't think I would live in a place like this." Cheryl's words had mirrored his own thoughts, and he shook his head._

_"No, I guess not, but where would you live?"_

_There was silence for a moment as he thought through what he had just said, he was stereotyping their killer, and he tried never to do that._

_"I guess we wait for reinforcements from Pacific." Cheryl picked up the small pair of binoculars from where she had placed them on the seat next to her. So far there had been no movement inside the house, but there was a red car on the drive, and the house had an air of being lived in. "There, window to the right of the door, someone's in there."_

_She had passed the field glasses over and Steve had squinted through them. "You need to visit the optometrist." He twisted the dials a little and then began to use them again. "It's a man, the hair looks darkish, but he's inside, it's difficult to tell." He threw them back on the seat, "Hell, it's all we've got, when the black and whites get here, I'm going in."_

_"I wonder why they don't have any Christmas stuff up." _

_"You know, I hadn't even noticed that." Steve looked at the house again, it was obsessively tidy and he thought about the bodies they had found. The impression of rage had been given, but everyone had been killed and mutilated in a ritualistic way, organised, obsessively so, and he wondered whether maybe he was wrong, and their type of killer would live in this type of home._

_A regulation blue crown Victoria car pulled up along side Steve's vehicle and the window slid gracefully down. "Hi," an ID was held up and Cheryl smiled at the handsome black man sitting almost next to her. "I'm Detective Reece Windsor. You're after your Red Rose Killer, aren't you?"_

_"Yep, do you know who lives here?" Steve looked around Cheryl, who seemed to be frozen staring at the man in the next car along._

_"I checked, like you asked, it's owned by a rental company, answering service only right now. I guess people don't move into new places this close to the holidays."_

_"No, you could be right." He had watched as two black and whites pulled into position in the road just a little way to the right of the property. "Ok, we go in. Cheryl, you're with me, Windsor, you said it was Windsor, right?"_

_"Yeah, but it's Reece. Where's Rae?"_

_"You know her?" Steve smiled at the mention of his partner._

_"I worked the suicide of the second victim's mom, Mrs Morrison, with her."_

_"She's on medical leave right now, this is Detective Cheryl Banks."_

_"I'm pleased to meet you, Detective." Reece had smiled what his current partner had later described as a killer of a smile and Cheryl had seemed to jerk back to life._

_"Cheryl, and hi."_

_"Ok, Reece, I want you and one other round the back, you ready?" Both detectives had nodded and Steve picked up the radio mike in his car, he flicked it onto the pre-arranged frequency. "This is Lieutenant Sloan, I want you to secure the perimeter, we will take it nice and slow, but this guy is dangerous, extremely so. We don't think he's armed, at least not with a gun, but extreme caution at all times. Let's go."_

"Wanna coffee?" the voice broke into his thoughts and he nodded his head.

"Thanks." The mug appeared on his desk immediately and he picked it up to take a drink. "I guess we're back to square one, huh?"

"I would think so. Did you tell Rae yet?" Cheryl perched herself on the side of the desk. The official report was sitting there and she picked it up, scanned it until she got to the part she was looking for and then began to read silently to herself.

'There were three officers from Pacific Community, Maddison, Palmer and Jones, deployed to the front of the building, Detective Windsor and Officer Groves went to the rear.

This writer and partner, Detective Banks, stood, one either side of the main entranceway, and the appropriate warning of 'Police, Open Up' was called. There was no reply and after announcing our presence for a second time, this writer kicked in the front door.

Cheryl put the piece of paper back down; she didn't need to read it to remember the shocked expression on the face of the elderly gentleman, slowly making his way down the hallway towards the door. The two detectives, both with guns now pointing at him stopped him in his tracks, and Steve had moved further into the house and scanned the room to the right of him. There had been a white haired lady and a younger man with light brown hair sitting in there, both of whom had backed into their seats as they saw what was going on.

It hadn't taken very long to discover that the house was no longer lived in by their suspect, and that Mr and Mrs Clarke and their son Frank had no idea who had been in the house before them.

Steve and Cheryl had explained a little of their reasons for shattering the peace, and had received hesitant permission to search the attic and basement of the property.

The attic had produced nothing of interest, apart from a half completed wasps nest, which had been dealt with by an extermination company, and a box of old photos that didn't appear to belong to Dominic Little, and definitely didn't belong to the current residents. The basement had been another story altogether.

The floor was cement, but it had broken up in places and the dirt from underneath showed through. It smelled musty, and stuffy, but not as if there were any bodies in it. The wall furthest from the entrance had boxes stacked up along it, and they had carefully begun to look through them. Slid down behind the middle one had been a folded piece of paper, it was that paper which had caused both Steve and Cheryl to work almost the entire week since they had found it.

The piece of paper had been a map of Los Angeles, or at least a part of it. It covered the area from Malibu to Venice Beach and there had been six crosses on it. If that hadn't been enough there had also been two fingerprints clear enough to get a match. Finally, they were on their way.

ooo

Jesse sat at the dining table, a pile of folders next to him, putting details into a programme on his laptop. He had been silent for a long time, and so he looked up to see Rae sitting the other end concentrating totally on the piece of paper she held in her hand.

Steve had called by earlier in the evening and left a lot of paperwork for her to go through, although the newspapers had been screaming all week about what he and Cheryl had found.

The house in Venice had been turned into a three-ringed circus, with reporters and news crews interviewing the occupants and speculating about what else had been discovered in the basement. That was until the news broke that a map found there had revealed the locations of six new bodies, or what remained of them.

None of the victims had been identified yet, but Jesse knew that Steve and Cheryl had been fielding calls ever since the discoveries from the distraught relatives of young women who were missing and who fitted the description of the girls killed so far, he also knew that they had both found it very upsetting.

The fingerprints had finally given them a definite suspect. Dominic Little had been turned into Nicholas Large, thirty-two years old, born in Los Angeles, and although he had been raised in California he had travelled quite a lot. He was single and he had a record, just as Ron had said he would. He had been jailed when he was twenty-two for harassing a young woman attacking her and trying to chop at her hair, which had been long and blonde, with a pair of hairdressing scissors as she sat on the seat in front of him on the subway.

Nicholas Large, according to his social security number, was an employee of a company called Aztec Tours and Excursions. A visit to their offices had given Steve and Cheryl the depressing information that Mr. Large had left with a tour party a month earlier and had been due back in Los Angeles two days after Christmas. Unfortunately, they had also told the two disappointed cops that he had disappeared three days earlier in Estes Park, Colorado.

They knew who he was, they knew what he'd done, and when Thomas Rhymes had finally made up his mind about his artists impression, and the copy of his rap sheet arrived, they would know what he looked like, but they still had no idea where he was, he could be anywhere. It still wasn't enough, but it was way more than they'd had at the beginning of the week.

All of this Jesse had heard as Steve had talked the case through quietly with Mark, Rae and himself. Vicki had taken the girls over to Sally's for a Christmas party, and Jo and Daniel were wrapping gifts so the four friends had been able to enjoy each other's company uninterrupted for a while.

Bringing himself back to the present with a sigh Jesse looked at the next folder in his pile. All it needed was a few notes to close the case and it could be filed, so he began to concentrate on the patient, wanting to be totally accurate when he started to write.

"Are you busy, Jess?"

"No, not especially, why?"

"Would you go through this with me?" Rae looked up, she seemed quiet to him, a little pale, but he knew that she had enjoyed her morning wrapping gifts and had slept for a long while after lunch, and so he tried to content himself with that.

"You're sure?" He wanted to race to the other end of the table, but he contained himself, took a deep breath and walked towards her. "I don't have to help."

"I know, but I would like you to. Maybe it's because I'm still not well, but I'm having trouble getting my mind around it all, if I give you the information we could make up a database and then work from that."

"Ok, I can do that." He pulled Rae's laptop towards him and smiled as he saw the desktop picture, he looked up at himself from the screen, a plate of ribs in front of him and the unmistakable view of Barbeque Bob's interior behind. He remembered Rae taking the picture one night a long time ago, she had planned to send it to her mother, but she had liked it so much that she had kept it for herself and sent another one instead.

"Ok, what do we have?" Jesse began putting in headings which he would use if the case was his, name, age, whether they'd had sex, place found, if anything had differed from the MO, and any relevant personal information, then he waited.

"We had Mary Sue, she was the first victim, or at least we thought she was; now she could be number seven in LA." Rae shook her head, _thirteen victims in Los Angeles._ For a minute Rae stopped thinking, if she concentrated too much on how many times this monster had killed she was liable to lose her hold on the realities of the case and wander into a world of self-doubt where she was unable to solve this, or any other murder.

"Rae? Honey, are you ok?" Jesse reached out and rested his hand on her arm, something he wouldn't have been able to do even recently and felt her jump at his touch.

"I'm sorry, where were we?"

"Mary Sue, but we can leave this, do it in the morning." Jesse looked at her again, she didn't seem tired now he was closer to her, but she did seem sad.

"No, I at least want to get it started tonight. Ok, Mary Sue, we don't have much on her, she was a tourist, here on holiday, I guess I could call her mother in Australia, but I don't think that her life there had any bearing on her death here." Again Rae stopped talking, but this time she started again after a few seconds. "It was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime. We are here to protect and serve; well, we sure didn't do that for her, or any of the other girls he's killed." Rae ran her hand through her hair, but pulled back, suddenly seeing the bald or shorn heads of the victims in her mind.

"No, you didn't, but you can't protect against the lunatic, or the depraved, and this guy is definitely one if not both of those things." Jesse tried a smile; he knew what it did to him when he lost a patient, so he could understand her feelings.

"Jenna Palmerton was the second victim, she was twenty-one, and found not far from the station, on Burbank Boulevard. We thought she was the first one killed for a long while." Rae carried on talking, if she let her mind think of other things she would never get back to this.

"Ok, she'd had sex before she died, and had what became the general MO, yes?"

"That's right. She was the one we referred back to, to see if he'd changed anything." Rae watched as Jesse tapped a few keys and then turned to look at her, his eyes bright, his face full of love for her, and she leant over and kissed him on the cheek before carrying on with their macabre job. "Right, next is Samantha Morrison, she was found in Palisades Park, she was nineteen years old, and her death devastated her mother so much that she hanged herself. This case just keeps getting better and better."

"Ok, from what I remember she was the first one who had a red rose, what did Jenna have?" Jesse decided to ignore Rae's last comment and moved the cursor back up into one of the boxes which related to the second victim and waited."

"She had a stamp on her hand; it was of a red rose and came from a club called Reds. We went there, he was there when we were, and we had no idea." Rae seemed to grow a little distant, and Jesse knew she was back in the club herself, looking around mentally to try and see the guy who was tormenting her.

"Rae, you have got to stop beating yourself up over this. You will get him, it may take time, but you, or some other police force, will get him."

"And how many more victims are there gonna be before that happens? Maybe he'll still be doing this in seventeen years, and Anneya will be ripe and ready for him." She turned away, tears in her eyes, and the intensity of her breathing causing her pain.

"Rae, that's it, no more, not tonight, you're letting your feelings get way out of hand, I'll make you a nice drink and you can have an early night. It's what," he checked his watch, "ten minutes after nine. The girls will be back in about a half hour, I can get them ready for bed, and Vicki will be here, but no more of this, not tonight."

Rae hung her head, she knew that Jesse was right, she was letting herself get far too involved in the sentimentality of the case, and if she continued to do that she would be no good to anyone, she felt something else, something she couldn't explain and so she said what she would expect herself to say as she tried to work it out. "But the party is tomorrow, and I have to get this done. Jesse, I'm sorry, let me finish, then I'll go to bed."

There were tears in her eyes, her hands were held in tight fists, and as she looked at her husband the feeling became clear, she had felt relief, relief that the whole case could be hidden away until morning, that she could forget it, go to sleep and not have to concern herself with it. The explanation of how she felt shocked her, she didn't think she had ever before wanted to distance herself from her job in that way, and for a moment she didn't know what to do or say.

"Rae, Honey, what is it?" Jesse was concerned, he had watched her wrestle with herself, seen her face change as she obviously processed various thoughts, but now she just looked scared, scared and unsure.

"I don't know, I don't know what to say, what to do, what do I do, Jess?" Rae reached out, grasping his arms, one in each hand, holding on to him as if he was about to disappear forever if she let go.

"You let me write a note for Vicki, then you let me take you to bed, and sit with you until you are asleep, ok?"

She nodded, no words were forthcoming as she let go of him, and watched as Jesse began to scribble some words on a piece of paper, and then she let herself be led slowly towards the stairs.


	46. No Time Like the Present

**46 No Time Like the Present**

Steve, having given up on getting any sleep just after three in the morning, had climbed quietly out of bed, slipped into his clothes and gone downstairs. He had taken his copy of Krista Barnes' autopsy report out of his bag, laid it out on the table in the morning room, got himself a coffee and tried to make sense of what he was reading.

Krista's photo showed just how beautiful she had been before she died, and made her death and what had happened to her before and after it even more disturbing. The young woman, although at twenty-six she was the oldest victim so far, had been easily identified. The photo of her mutilated body had been on Cheryl's desk when Ben Chapman had walked past. He had stopped, looked at the picture and then told his colleague how to identify her.

The company who manufactured the shampoo that Krista had been advertising had been horrified to hear of her death, and had furnished the LAPD with all the details they had on her, including the model agency she was registered with. From there it had been tragically easy to find out where she lived, and who her next of kin was.

Steve shook his head; the interview they had undertaken with Mrs Barnes had been, as most of them were, traumatic for all concerned. There had been a skilfully wrapped gift on the dining table as they had sat talking with the distraught woman, and she had turned it around and around in her hands until she had told them that it had arrived in the mail just an hour after the police had told her that her beautiful child was dead. Steve sincerely hoped that Mrs Barnes never found out exactly what had happened to her daughter, he wished he didn't know either.

Krista Barnes had been killed in the same way as all the other victims, at least all the other victims that they were able to obtain that type of information on. But she had been killed with more venom, more hatred, more everything than the rest of the girls. Amanda had said at the scene that she could see fifteen to twenty stab wounds at least. When the body had been cleaned there were twenty-eight. The throat had been cut, both feet slashed, and the apparent frenzy had been there too, although again Steve was certain that there was no frenzy, just a calmness and a callousness, which enabled their killer to incapacitate and then play with the bodies, carefully deciding where and how to inflict his wrath so that it looked as if he had rushed at her, slashing and slicing in panic.

The long hair had all been removed, but this time the short hair had been styled, which had to have taken time. None of the long tresses had been left lying around, as had been the case with the victim who had been rolled down an embankment and found by the Russian vagrant. Steve stopped thinking about victims for a moment, realising that he had forgotten to tell Rae something important.

Leonid whatever his name was, Steve couldn't be sure of getting it correct without checking first, had come into the precinct on the Wednesday after Rae had been injured. He had seen her picture in the paper, and shown it to his new friends at the rescue mission, not knowing how gravely ill she was, boasting that he knew her.

He had come with his dog on a washing line leash, a bunch of slightly sad looking flowers held in his hand and Alison, on duty at the main desk, had called up to get Steve to come down and see him. To his shame the flowers had never got to Rae, but the small card, which was with them, was still in his car. He wrote himself a note to serve as a reminder, so that he could pass on the good wishes later in the day.

The pictures of the various wounds to Krista Barnes were all in the folder with her autopsy report and he laid them on the table in front of him. Then he got the pictures that he had of Nadine Browton and laid them out as well. He was sure if there was an exact pattern that Amanda would have spotted it, but he hadn't, until this moment, actually compared any of the victims himself.

Three wounds were a given in all the cases, two slashed feet and a slit throat, the rest varied but, he realised, probably not all that much. He remembered that Jenna had had her brachial artery severed, for a moment he couldn't continue, the memory of when that had happened to him, the fear he had felt, rushed to the front of his mind and he gasped and closed his eyes. It seemed a lifetime away instead of just a couple of months, but the realisation that he could die had been one of his last conscious thoughts, and he realised how much more terrifying each of these women's final moments on this earth must have been.

ooo

Christmas Eve dawned bright, if a little chilly. Jesse lay in bed beside his wife and watched her as she slept. His gift for her was finally in Steve and Jo's garage, it had been touch and go whether it would be ready in time and he hoped that she would like it. He had arranged that they would bring it with them when they came to the party, revelling in the secrecy and surprise. Rae had slept peacefully for the first time since she had returned home from the hospital. It hadn't taken much to persuade her to let him give her a mild sedative, and the result had been an undisturbed night for the both of them, but now he was awake, although he had no intention of getting up until he had to.

After about a half hour, during which time Jesse had turned one of the smaller bedrooms into an office for himself in his mind and imagined some of the places he would take his family on their forthcoming vacation, he heard Eliana begin to stir, and Vicki going to her. With a smile he stretched out to his full length in the bed and decided that he could certainly get used to having a housekeeper, especially one as friendly as Miss Vicki, which was what his eldest daughter called her.

The smile stayed on Jesse's face as he realised that he was planning ahead, looking forward to a future where he was with his wife, his children, and the feeling of contentment which washed over him made him realise that whatever had happened in the past he had himself firmly in the present again, able to see that what he had, and where he was, were just as they should be.

ooo

There was a pattern, Steve was sure of it now. The table was covered with photos and he knew that whilst not exact, the man was definitely working to a plan, he stabbed arms, back, and when they were dead he stabbed their chests before turning them back face down for someone to find and sometime during that ritual he cut their hair. All the bodies had been checked to see if they had had sex before they died, or had been raped just after, and in each case the answer was yes, but in two of those cases, Krista and Samantha, it had definitely only been after death. With the others, Amanda was pretty sure, it had been voluntary, there being no outward signs of struggle, at least not against that.

"Honey, how long have you been down here?" Jo's voice cut into his thoughts and shattered his concentration. He felt himself jump and he looked up, knowing he appeared like a small child who had crept down the stairs to check his Christmas presents.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" He looked around guiltily, and saw that the sun was coming up and that it was now morning.

"No, the alarm clock did that all by itself. Steve, you can't work at this all the time, you have to rest, I know it's gettin' to you, it would me, but you have to let go, come in through that door, into our sanctuary, an' let go."

"I know that, but it's not easy, y'know. Thirteen victims in LA, Jo, thirteen, and let's face it, there could be more, we would probably have never found the six on that map, or if we had, we wouldn't have given him the credit for them."

"Steve, it's Christmas Eve, you are workin' a half day, do what you can durin' that time an' then promise me you will leave everythin' at the station, come home, rest a while an' then enjoy the party at Rae an' Jesse's house." She had moved closer to her husband as she spoke, and now Jo put her hand on his shoulder and looked into his beautiful blue eyes as he stared up at her.

He touched her hand and then stood up, "I need to talk to you, before I go, something has happened, I have to know how you feel about it before I make a decision."

"Sure, Darlin', I'll just get me somethin' to eat." The colour had drained a little from Jo's face and he shook his head.

"Let me." The morning sickness was gone, but she still had the crackers and warm water when she woke, just in case. Steve kissed her gently on the lips and made his way into the kitchen, boiled the kettle and got a new packet of crackers out of the cupboard. Then he poured the water into a mug, placed some of the crackers on a plate, put the two items onto a tray and carried it back into the morning room. As he put them down Steve had to smile, Michael had been gone almost three weeks, and he was still looking over his shoulder, making sure that things were done properly.

For a moment Steve wondered how the Englishman was getting on. His mother had died, and the funeral would be next week. Until that was over they would remain butler-less, and he had to admit to missing him almost as much as his wife and son did.

"Darlin' thank you so much, they are just what the doctor ordered."

"So am I you know. He wanted a son or a daughter, and here I am!" Steve's eyes twinkled as he spoke and he watched Jo smile at him.

"Well, that's what I want too," she ran her hand over her slightly rounded belly and then kissed Steve on the lips. "I love you, Steve Sloan."

"Mmmm, you aren't so bad yourself." He returned the kiss, and the nastiness of his morning receded a little. His hand went up into her hair, and he wound his fingers in it, but suddenly he pulled back, causing her to cry out.

"Ow, Steve, that hurt."

"Sorry, I am so sorry, I … I didn't mean to."

"Steve? Baby, what is it?" She was instantly concerned, his handsome features were grey, and Jo guided him back into his chair. "There, sit, just for a while, do you want me to call Jesse? Or maybe your daddy?"

"No, no, it's ok, God, I'm sorry, Jo, urgh." He rubbed his hands down his jeans, which he had pulled on quietly in the upstairs hallway after leaving the bedroom many hours earlier.

"What, whatever is wrong?"

"Your hair, I touched your hair, I'm sorry."

"But you love my hair, you always said you did." Jo didn't understand, she wanted to, but so far he wasn't making any sense.

"He cuts their hair, hacks it off, takes away their personality, a piece of their identity, when I think of you, picture you in my mind, your hair is always a big part of what I see, and it's spoiled, how can I touch you, run my fingers through your hair when I know what he does … what he does to those women?"

She couldn't answer, there were no words to calm him, to console him, and so Jo pulled him towards her until his head rested against her chest and then she just held him, silently, as he tried to get his thoughts back into some sort of order.

ooo

The house had a festive air to it, there were decorations in all the rooms that were in constant use plus, out in the front yard, lights were strung through the trees and Jesse had put mistletoe over the entranceway.

Rae had pointed out that there was no way that she was going to kiss the mail-man who, quite frankly, gave her the creeps, and if she caught Jesse kissing him there would be trouble! Eliana was so excited that she couldn't keep still for more than a minute at a time, flitting from one toy to another and back again, not settling to anything. Anneya was fractious, nothing was right, and she had either been in tears or on the verge of them all morning.

In the end Jesse, who had, to his immense surprise, been given the Christmas Eve and Christmas day as his rota'd days off, decided that maybe some outdoor games would be a good idea, and they had gone into the back yard to play with the skittles, and the rocking horses. Rae had watched for a little while before going back to the work she had been unable to finish the previous evening.

The sleep had done her good, there was no doubt about that, but it still hadn't put her feelings into perspective, and Rae knew that she needed to spend some time thinking through how she had reacted to the work she had to do. Now wasn't the time though, and so she pulled the laptop towards her, trying to ignore the pain the movement made. Once it had booted up and the right page was displayed she began looking again at all the different details, trying to make sense of it all, to see a pattern, or a routine, which they hadn't spotted before.

There was a large Christmas card from her mother in England on the mantel over the fireplace and, for a moment, her eyes rested on it. All these women had mothers who loved them, none of them would get cards and gifts from their daughters this year, but more than that, they wouldn't get the future they had imagined, the weddings, grandchildren, the grown-up, adult relationships which were so different to those of a child and its parents. Rae thought for a while about her dad, she still missed him dreadfully, and he found a place in her thoughts almost daily. For those fathers who had lost their children, had outlived them, this time of year would be almost unbearable, and her heart grieved for them all.

She called up the details on the woman they knew was called Harriet Brown. She had been a prostitute, twenty-four years of age, pretty, but somehow in a different way to the other girls. She had a hardness about her, even in death, which Rae knew would be a reflection of the life she had chosen or had thrust upon her but there was something about the murder and the murder scene which was niggling away at her brain, and she couldn't work out what it was.

For a moment Rae thought about Leonid, she wondered how he was spending Christmas, and making a sudden decision she moved slowly across and picked up the phone in the hallway to call directory assistance. Five minutes later she was waiting to be connected with her Russian friend.

"Yes, this is Leonid."

"Hi, Leonid, it's Detective Rae Yeager, from the LAPD, I just wanted to wish you a happy Christmas."

"Thank you. This for you too I am wishing. And you are better, no?" The strong accent was now welcome to Rae's ears. He had been pleasant and interesting company, and she felt sad that she hadn't sent him a gift of some kind.

"Yes, I am better now, thank you. Are you enjoying life at the mission?"

"Da, yes, very good, and Leonid has job, for soon after Christmas."

"Really? That's wonderful, where are you going to be working?" Rae was delighted for the man; she had known he didn't like living the way he had been found.

"Your friend, Doctor Sloan, he found Leonid job, for a little while at the hopstiple. Leonid lucky, make nice friends, from cop lady."

"Well, thank you. I am in and out of the place all the time, so I guess I'll see you there. Take care, Leonid, I'll talk to you again soon."

"Da, thank you, and greetings of the season."

"Merry Christmas, bye."

She listened to his goodbyes and then put the phone down, trying to put herself back in time to when she had found that body. As it often did the picture came up in her mind, she could see herself standing there, giving out instructions, talking with Amanda, and it came to her. The hair; of all the victims she should have been the one who had no trace of the long tresses which had been cut off. But it had been there, just by the side of the body, why? Rae wondered whether it was worth going over and looking at the crime scene again, but she knew that she wasn't up to it, and it was Christmas Eve, there was no way that she would suggest it to Steve, not today, but maybe after the holiday they could go over together. She could stay in the car if necessary, it would be a gentle start back in and by then she might have worked out what it was about the actual murder that concerned her.

With that decision made Rae looked at the screen of her computer again but suddenly she wanted to forget all the pain, the suffering that this guy had caused, today was the beginning of Christmas, she should be outside with her children, not working on a serial killing. Closing everything down Rae moved slowly over towards the French doors out into the garden, she stood just to one side so that she could watch without being seen and for a few minutes she saw her husband doing something she had wondered whether he would ever be able to do again. Eliana was peddling her three wheeled bike across the grass and Anneya was in the seat of the baby swing being pushed up high into the air by her father. Rae could see the pure enjoyment on her face as her blonde hair flew out behind her as she swung forward and then watched it drop to her shoulders as she went back up for another arc.

The digital camera was resting on the windowsill in the room and she picked it up, moved carefully and quietly into the garden and began to take some photos which would make her smile, hoping to forget looking at the ones which made her heart ache.

ooo

The tinsel and Christmas bells, which were strung around the precinct, always looked a little out of place to Steve. He didn't feel they were there to preach peace and love to those who chose the festive season to run someone through with a carving knife, or shoot someone because they didn't like the color socks they received. He was obviously in a group of one on the subject though, because every year, without fail, the decorations came out, were strung up around the place and stayed there until the first week in January getting gradually sadder and sadder by the hour.

Feeling a little Scrooge-like he made his way to his desk and looked through the messages he had received. There were still more calls to be returned from distraught parents hoping against hope that they weren't going to be told that their daughters were amongst the six new victims of the Red Rose Killer. Another message was from Tanisha Collins sister. Tanisha had been the first victim in San Francisco and Rachael Collins was a journalist with a paper in her home town, but was for the most part located in Los Angeles. The number this time had a code that Steve didn't recognise right off and so he dialled it and listened.

"Hi, could I speak with Rachael Collins please?" He waited, as there was a pause from the other end of the line, "This is Steve Sloan."

"Hello, Steve?" The voice came through crystal clear and Steve smiled despite himself. He knew that this young woman had suffered, but she sounded so friendly.

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good, well, no, I'm not that good actually, this time of year is hard, Mom and Dad went on a cruise, they wanted to get out of the country for a while. Steve, I know that it is a real bad time, holiday wise and all, but I think I've found you another victim."

ooo

Jo paced up and down the hallway of her home once more, and then felt the hand of her son on her arm. "Mom, stop it, you know he will be here as soon as he can. Wearing a hole in Michael's tiles isn't gonna get him here any sooner." Daniel smiled at her, hoping that the combination of that and his touch would stop her moving. "I wanted to show you something, I know it's a little late to go get anything else, but … well, do you think that Maddie will like this?"

Jo watched as the boy moved over to his back pack, which was laying in the hallway, he rummaged around in it until he found what he was looking for, then he turned and placed a small jewellers box in his mother's hands. Carefully Jo opened the box and then her face broke into a smile. "Oh, Darlin' it's beautiful, an' I know she will be just thrilled with it." Jo carefully took a square pendant on a chain out of the box. It had a narrow band of gold as its frame and then there was a horse's head, also in gold inside the square. "Honey, this looks expensive …" She trailed off, not really knowing how to tell him that he shouldn't have spent all his money on someone he considered to be his closest friend.

"I … well, that is … it's not new, I got it from a pawn shop in Venice Beach, I only paid thirty bucks for it."

"Well, in that case I think you an' I need to go shoppin' together, I love a bargain, especially when it is gold an' shiny!" She leant over and kissed Daniel on the cheek, "She is lucky to have a friend like you, an' I am proud an' just as lucky to have a son like you."

"Aww, Mom!" Daniel blushed, but Jo could see the pleasure dancing in his eyes.

"Is that your bag of gifts there?" She pointed to a large decorated paper carrier full of different shapes in Christmas paper.

"Yeah, they aren't much, just something for the girls, and a little present for Rae and Jesse. I didn't get for anyone else, except Alex, that's ok isn't it?" Daniel suddenly realised that there would be other people there, people who he didn't have anything for.

"Honey, that's fine, but what about Grandpa Mark, you did get him somethin' didn't you?" Jo knew that the following day family gifts would be opened and she hoped that Daniel, who had refused to let them help with his present buying, hadn't forgotten his grandfather.

"Oh, yeah, it's … um, it's sorted." Daniel was suddenly caught unawares, he did have a present for Mark, but it was the same as the one for his parents, and they were both already at Oak Place, Jesse having promised to put them under the tree for him before the party started.

"Well, if you want to go round already, I can wait for your father."

Daniel was just about to say he would stay with his mother when there was the sound of a vehicle entering the grounds, a few moments later the door opened and an extremely flustered looking Steve entered.

"Honey, don't say anything, I'm sorry, something came up, but I'm here now and, no matter what, I'm not going back until the day after tomorrow."

"Good, go shower, your clean clothes are on the bed, we will be waitin'." The tone of Jo's voice, although not as angry as he thought she might be, told him not to say a word, and so with a nod of his head Steve made his way to the stairs, stopping only to kiss his wife and muss up his son's hair.

"Aw, Dad, I just did that! Mom!"

"You have time to re-do it. It'll take your dad longer than that to make himself beautiful!"

"And I hurried home for this. The precinct, it's a lovely place, coffee on demand, a room where I can sit and watch the rest of the world go by, work my butt off and no one comments on my beauty. My home life is just so shallow!"

"Yeah, well you'll find your head in the shallow end, of the bath tub, if you don't watch it. Go get ready, Rae an' Jesse will be wantin' to start their party." Jo had rolled her eyes as her husband spoke and Daniel had groaned and then laughed.

Steve made his way up the stairs without another word. The end of his day had almost destroyed his mood, and he had been looking forward to the party, but the happy banter of his wife was working wonders, and he had a smile on his face as he reached the second floor.

ooo

Rae sat in the kitchen of her home, banned from wandering the rest of it, not that she had the energy to move very far anyway, and began to let her mind do the wandering instead. Jesse had told her that there were things he didn't want her to see and so she had agreed that she would stay in the kitchen as long as he promised not to go to the laundry room, which was where Daniel had put her husband's present when he had carried it round from his house earlier in the day. She was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with her friends, and was extremely grateful to Texas for arranging all the party details for her. Rae was also hoping to spend some down time with Steve, she hadn't seen much of him since they had talked over what had happened when she had been shot, and she missed his company. With a sigh, which was half strangled as it began to cause her pain, she realised that she didn't miss the pleasure she gained from working with him as much as the off duty time she spent with him, and that had never been before. For a moment Rae thought back to the times she used to see a therapist called Brian Dobson, he had told her that when she was ready to go back to something after a trauma it would cause her no fear, she guessed that right now work was just something she wasn't ready for.

ooo

Jo and Steve climbed into the car and eased it out into the light traffic in their street. "This is nice." Jo smiled at her husband, he looked relaxed and happy and she reached over and gently squeezed his hand.

"Did I tell you how great you look?" His eyes didn't stray from the road, but his voice had a smile in it.

"No, I was just thinkin' the same about you. I'm sorry you had a bad mornin', but I'm glad you are ok now."

"Yeah, I am, but then you do that to me. Make me feel better just by being with me. I love you, Jo."

They were on the driveway of Oak Place by the time Steve had finished talking and Jo smiled at him again as she carefully got out of the car. There were other vehicles already there, and Steve recognised his dad's, Amanda's and Alex's. The young doctor's one made him smile. He had recently traded in his slightly battered old thing for a very nice, very smart, very red BMW and Steve knew that the success he so richly deserved had started to arrive.

The garage at Steve and Jo's home was attached to the house. There was room inside it for three cars, and it effectively cut the back of the house off and made it totally enclosed and private. Oak Place, however, had a large archway that had another living area the other side of it, although as far as Steve knew it had been empty for years. The garages for Rae and Jesse's house were behind the house, attached to the back of the archway again resulting in a totally private back yard. It was just in front of this cover that Steve had parked.

Daniel opened the front door for them, having seen them come onto the driveway. "Hey, Mom, Dad, you live the closest and you're the last to arrive."

"An' as I can't think of any comeback to that I shall just ignore you." Jo kissed her son on the cheek and carried on into the house not wanting to hold things up any longer.

The tree was in the breakfast room and as Jo opened the door she saw all her friends sitting or standing in there, chatting and enjoying each other's company. Alex and Shannon were talking with Vicki, Ron and Amanda, back from a short break in Palm Springs, were showing photos to Rae, and CJ and Dion were sat on one of the sofas playing on two Gameboys joined together with a cable. Eliana was enjoying a picture book with her dad and Anneya, undisturbed by the general noise and commotion, was fast asleep in one of the large armchairs in the corner of the room. The little girl, although much better than she had been, was still recovering from her brush with death and had an appointment with the educational psychologist after Christmas to begin the checks on her development and whether it had been impaired in any way.

"Hi y'all, I'm sorry we were late. But we're here now." Steve just managed to get his words out before his goddaughter rushed at him and was swung up in his strong arms. "Hey, Sweetie, how are you."

"Unki Teve, Farmer Kistmas is coming to my house." The little girl's face was alight with excitement, and Jesse, watching her with his best friend knew that no one would be able to tell that Eliana had thrown a major tantrum just over an hour earlier when she found out she couldn't dress as a tree again.

"Well, Honey, that's great, do you know when he's coming?" As Steve spoke again the sound of a bell could be heard and Eliana almost screamed in delight.

"Daddy said he would come when you were here." She squirmed around in Steve's arms and he carefully put her down on the ground and then moved over and opened the door.

"Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas." The figure who came in from the hallway was dressed in red, he had a very splendid white beard and a sack over his shoulder which was just full to the brim with presents. Rae sat on the sofa, a blanket over her knees, watching with delight as the whole room began to smile at once.

After he was settled on the chair, which had been saved for him, Santa Claus reached into his sack and began to read out a label on the first present he pulled out. "Ok, what do we have here? Now, is there someone in this room called Eliana?"

Suddenly Eliana was totally silent; she took two steps back and hid behind her daddy. "Eliana, Honey, Santa has a present for you." Still the little girl didn't move, "Would you like me to come with you?"

"Es, peeze, Daddy." Together Jesse and his eldest daughter moved up to where Father Christmas was sitting with a long oblong package wrapped in bright paper held in his hand.

"This says on it that it is from Aunty Amanda and Uncle Ron. Now isn't that nice?" Santa handed the gift down to the now almost smiling child and then everyone watched as she ripped the paper off.

"Fankew, Aunty Manda, Unki Won." Eliana was beaming now and there was a brand new Barbie in her hands. She had just discovered the world of the plastic supermodel and Rae knew that she had about six years of finding strange shaped clothes and odd little shoes all over the house.

Gradually the presents from the sack began to disappear as each person in the room got their gifts from Jesse and Rae, and the children and the hosts of the party got their gifts from all the guests.

"Ok, now, this is just an envelope, and it is addressed to Jesse." Father Christmas had to delve deep into the bag to get any presents now.

"Why thank you, Santa, I wonder who this can be from." Jesse recognised the writing as that of his wife, and he moved over to sit next to her as he slit open the top of the square shaped paper. Rae hadn't moved from her resting place, knowing that Alex was watching her continuously, but she had felt totally involved in what was going on, happy and at peace with herself.

"To my darling Jesse, I think it is time you took some of your life back. Love as always, Rae, xxx

_PS PTO."_

Jesse looked puzzled as he read out the gift tag that he slid from its hiding place and then as instructed he turned it over.

"You need to go and look in the laundry room."

"Well, I guess I've had my orders, hold on a minute, everyone." Jesse disappeared, and a moment or two later came back with his huge present and a grin to match. He ripped at the paper, helped by his two daughters, Anneya having been woken up so that she could share in the festivities. "Oh, Rae. It's just beautiful, thank you so much." He moved across and kissed her gently on the lips. "I will teach you how to use it too."

"Thank you, I might just take you up on that, but not yet, that is for you, so that you can go surfing with Steve, spend some time together. I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to give it to you." Rae touched his face with her hand and he reached up and trapped it there. The other people in the room watched their display of affection knowing how much it had cost both of them to get to where they were, and then as Jesse moved away and the spell was broken Santa spoke again.

"I have one more parcel in here, and then I have to get back to the North Pole, the elves don't work as well when I'm not there to keep an eye on them."

"You'll be getting ready to leave in a minute then, Jess." Steve's voice cut into the laughter, "Don't want to be found away from your post."

"Ha ha, very funny. Shouldn't you be outside looking after the reindeer?"

"This present is for Rae, Sweetie, would you like to give this to Mommy?"

Eliana trotted happily up to Father Christmas, her previous fear of him long forgotten and took the small square package from him, smiled and then walked over and handed it to her mother.

"Thank you, I wonder what this can be." Rae looked up, her eyes bright and she could see that almost everyone else in the room knew exactly what was in the present. She pulled at the paper and revealed a black box and then she opened that, inside was a piece of paper.

Rae,

We have travelled many happy miles together; I hope this will help us travel many more. Take a look outside.

Love

Jesse.

xxxxx

"I didn't want to wait either." Carefully Jesse helped his wife from her place on the sofa and guided her through the house and outside into the front yard, she knew that the rest of her guests were following and as she rounded the corner she gasped and stopped moving.

"Oh, Jesse, Honey, you shouldn't have, oh my." She didn't have words to say what she felt and so Rae moved a little closer to the new car which was sitting waiting for its owner.

"I know it's not Tom, but even though it is a family car it's kinda fun, don't you think? Almost as if Tom grew up." Jesse looked at the red Chrysler PT Cruiser which was just in front of him. He had searched long and hard for a car to replace Rae's beloved Beetle, knowing that it had been his fault it had been destroyed and that a normal sedan, mini-van or family car wouldn't do. As soon as he had seen this car on the lot of a showroom just a little way from the hospital he knew that he had found what he wanted. Now there was a huge silver ribbon in place on the roof and he had the keys, given to him secretly by Steve as he had arrived for the party, in his hand. "When you're better you can drive it, wherever you want it to take you. I hope you have as much fun using it as I had choosing it." Jesse stood behind Rae and put his arms around her waist and she leant into him and closed her eyes.

"Hey, everyone, I think that Santa has to go now, we need to wave him off." Steve's voice made everyone turn their heads and they all went back inside, leaving Rae and Jesse alone by the car, enjoying the moment just a little longer.

"Gwanpee Mok, Gwanpee Mok, where were you? Farmer Kistmas comed." Eliana jumped on Mark as he came into the breakfast room just over ten minutes after they had all come in from outside.

"Oh no, I didn't did I? I missed Father Christmas." Mark looked sad and Eliana reached up and hugged him.

"Um, guys, I know that we are about finished, but, well, I have a couple of presents I want to give, I know family presents are for tomorrow, but, I don't want to wait until then." Daniel had stood up as he began to speak, and now blushing furiously he turned, relieved to be able to hide his confusion as he got his gifts from under the tree.

"I wanted to do something to show how pleased I was, how proud, to become a part of this family, I know I've struggled a bit lately, but, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, thank you, thank you for making me welcome as a Sloan." Suddenly he had to sit down; he handed out the two large presents and then went over to be next to Alex. He had given his friend his gift via Santa, a set of accessories for the new BMW that he had finally managed to wangle a ride in just three days earlier. Alex now had a small tool kit, a medical box, and key chain all with the car logo on them, and he was extremely pleased with them.

"Honey, I'm guessin' these are the same, so we should open them together, yes?" Jo looked at her son, she could see the anticipation, the excitement in his eyes, and she wanted to just rip the paper off right away.

Seeing Daniel nod Mark and Jo began to remove the paper together, and then in unison they gasped. Jo felt the tears rush to her eyes, and then she was crying and she suspected Steve, although he looked as delighted as his dad, had moist eyes too. After a few moments of looking at their gifts privately both Jo and Mark turned them around so that the rest of the guests could see that inside a deep golden frame was a painting, taken from a photo which was framed itself and hanging in the hallway of their house. The photo, a studio portrait, was of the three of them, taken just after Daniel's adoption had been finalised. Now it was a canvas painting, one for his parents, one for his grandfather, both of them a testament to the love he felt for the family he had gained.

The party broke up a little after nine in the evening, Amanda and Ron leaving just after Alex and Shannon. Vicki had left earlier in the evening, needing to get away to travel to her parents' home in Barstow for the rest of the holidays.

Rae waited downstairs while Jesse put the girls to bed, she felt so much better than she had just a day or so earlier. Alex had checked her over before the party began and had been delighted with her progress. He had told her that she could begin to do most things again in moderation, as long as she listened to her body and stopped when it told her to. She had spent the party on the sofa because she knew that, apart from Alex watching her, if she didn't she would be rushing around making sure that everyone had drinks, that their plates weren't empty, generally working herself into the ground, and now, now that everyone was gone, she was delighted at how well she felt.

ooo

Steve and Jo sat in the living room of their home, their arms around each other, and looked at the picture that their son had given them. Daniel had received permission to go and see Maddie and give her his gift and so the house was empty. Steve had driven Daniel over, but Doug, who had forgiven his friend for the punch that sent him to the emergency room, was going to bring him home.

"Did you make your decision?" Jo looked at him, she had a feeling that he had, there was no worry in his face, he was at peace and so when he nodded his head and turned to her she wasn't surprised.

"Yeah, I did. I'm gonna do it. It's a month, Jo; I think it will be long enough for me to decide whether that's where I see my future. If it is I'll do the captaincy exams, I'll have to move precinct probably, but, well you'd be happier wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would, but you don't have to do this for me. You do it because you want to. I have lived with you long enough to know that you are a good cop, dedicated, an' that up until now you never saw your future behind a desk. Newman can be replaced by someone else."

"I know he can, but I don't want him to be. Somehow it feels right that it should be me going back into his office to take over. He's decided to go and do this instructor's course, and I'm looking forward to being his replacement. I'm still gonna have to go to New York after the holiday though, and I'm hoping I can get Rae to come with me."

Jo snuggled up a little closer, she didn't want the realities to intrude, but she knew that the phone call he had received that morning would mean a trip east. "Rachael's sure that the records she found relate to a Red Rose killing?"

"Oh yeah, she's a good reporter, and she is also determined to see her sister's killer die for what he did. She was there on another story, and she looked up the MO on a whim. The perp was never found, but Little has a record from New York, it's him all right."

"Did you tell Rae?"

"No, I didn't want to spoil her party. Which, my hostess with the mostess, was wonderful. You did your friend proud."

"Thank you, it was fun wasn't it? I loved organisin' it. Maybe I can get this museum thing off the ground next year an' organise some things for that."

"Sounds good. You know all things being equal I think the next few months are gonna be just great." He gently placed his hand on his wife's stomach, he longed for the day when he could feel his child move beneath his palm, but for now he was content just to feel the warmth of Jo's body against him. "How about I run you a nice bath?"

"Mmm, yes please. Use the one in the West Wing, we can both fit into that."

"Yes, Ma'am." Steve kissed her gently on the lips before getting to his feet, he had so much to be thankful for, so much to look forward to, and he realised as he mounted the stairs that he hadn't felt so positive about his future for a long while.

ooo

The living room was quiet with a watery winter moon shining through the windows. Rae knew that it could disappear behind a cloud any minute, and so she enjoyed it whilst she could.

As she stood looking out across her garden, the security lights catching a flower or plant here and there as they were turned on by a tree moving in the wind, she saw Jesse's reflection in the glass as he came towards her. There was something about his expression, which she could see clearly, that made her almost freeze. Not daring even to breathe she waited, watching, as he walked closer and closer to her.

Jesse saw the lights as they caught her hair, making it look like spun sugar; it was almost as if he could reach out and feel it and it would break in his hand, but be as soft as silk too. His heart was beating so hard and so fast that he was sure he would have to stop before he reached her, but suddenly he could hear her breathing, and he gently touched her arm.

Slowly, not wanting to break the spell that she found herself under, Rae turned to face her husband, his hand moved and he ran a finger down her cheek, and still she stood, wanting and needing him to touch her, but scared to move in case she frightened him away.

Carefully his hand moved into her hair and Rae was glad she hadn't had it cut after all. She felt his fingers as they ran through the tresses, and gently massaged the back of her head and she began to melt. He pulled her closer to him, and then his lips were against her own, just for a second before he moved back.

"Jess?"

"Shhh, it's ok. Slowly, really slowly." He touched her face again, "You are beautiful, so beautiful." He leant in to kiss her a second time, just brushing her lips with his own and then he smiled and gasped as she raised her own hand to caress his cheek.

There was a large comfortable chair by the window and he needed to sit down so, sinking into it, Jesse placed a hand on each arm and took her with him. The atmosphere was charged, both of them wanting to continue, but fearful of scaring or hurting the other.

Rae had moved her hand from his face and so he took it into his own and then kissed each finger, running his thumb across her wedding band before looking into her face and moving closer to her lips once again. As he did so he saw her close her eyes and this time he kissed her twice.

The moan that came from his wife stirred his very being and he kissed her again, feeling her tongue as it moved against his lips and he opened them so that finally he could feel her as she kissed him back.

He didn't want to move from where they were, knowing that if they did the spell could be irretrievably broken and so he took his courage in both hands and gently began to undo the buttons on the front of her shirt. As he did so he felt her begin to do the same, and then she moved so that she was on her knees in front of him, kissing each part of him as she gradually removed his top, and he felt like liquid as he slid onto the floor beside her feeling her skin against his own, warm and smooth, and then as the kissing became more passionate and the feelings welled up, needing to be satisfied, he forgot everything and everyone else and surrendered himself to her.

ooo

The moonlight caused the snow to sparkle, and the coldness of the air made it crunch underfoot. He took in a deep breath of cold mountain air as he stood, each hand clasped under the opposite arm to keep it warm, and watched the Colorado snow take on a pink and then red hue as the blood soaked into it. Tomorrow he would move on, drive his rental car to the airport and take a flight to somewhere warmer. Some place where he could find himself a nice inconspicuous job and wait until the spring when he figured it would be safe to return to LA.

The End …

**A/N.** For now this is indeed the end, but there is more, one final story to tell, which should be posted in the spring. My wonderful beta readers have helped make this story writing the pleasure it is, and the knowledge that people have read and enjoyed the story is a great feeling. To all of those who have left me reviews thank you, they are very much appreciated, and make the words flow easier.

Happy Christmas

Tracy


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